1 00:00:01,252 --> 00:00:03,846 You know, I've been thinking about time travel again. 2 00:00:04,021 --> 00:00:06,819 Why? Did you hit a roadblock with invisibility? 3 00:00:08,192 --> 00:00:09,557 Put it on the back burner. 4 00:00:10,494 --> 00:00:13,725 Anyway, it occurs to me, if I ever did perfect a time machine... 5 00:00:13,898 --> 00:00:15,991 ...I'd go into the past and give it to myself. 6 00:00:16,167 --> 00:00:19,728 Thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place. 7 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,903 - Interesting. - Yeah, it really takes the pressure off. 8 00:00:24,642 --> 00:00:25,904 Sounds like a breakthrough. 9 00:00:26,077 --> 00:00:28,568 Should I call Science and tell them to hold the cover? 10 00:00:28,746 --> 00:00:31,078 It's time travel, Leonard. I will have done that. 11 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:34,982 I guess congratulations are in order. 12 00:00:35,152 --> 00:00:39,111 No, congratulations will have been in order. 13 00:00:39,290 --> 00:00:41,281 You know, I'm not going to enjoy this party. 14 00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,427 I know, I'm familiar with you. 15 00:00:43,861 --> 00:00:46,421 The last party, Professor Finkleday cornered me... 16 00:00:46,597 --> 00:00:48,929 ...and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes. 17 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,124 Yes, I was there. 18 00:00:50,301 --> 00:00:52,132 You know what's interesting about caves? 19 00:00:52,303 --> 00:00:54,635 - What? - Nothing. 20 00:00:55,506 --> 00:00:59,875 We'll avoid Finkleday, meet the new head, congratulate him, shake his hand and go. 21 00:01:00,044 --> 00:01:03,013 How's this? "Pleased to meet you, Dr. Gablehauser. 22 00:01:03,180 --> 00:01:06,047 How fortunate for you the university has chosen to hire you... 23 00:01:06,217 --> 00:01:09,311 ...despite the fact you've done no original research in 25 years... 24 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:11,421 ...and instead have written books... 25 00:01:11,589 --> 00:01:14,490 ...that reduce the great concepts of science to anecdotes... 26 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:15,852 ...each one dumbed down... 27 00:01:16,026 --> 00:01:19,792 ...to accommodate the duration of an average bowel movement." 28 00:01:25,269 --> 00:01:27,999 - "Mahalo" is a nice touch. - Hmm. 29 00:01:28,439 --> 00:01:30,566 Only eight consonants in the Hawaiian language. 30 00:01:30,741 --> 00:01:33,073 lnteresting, you should lead with that. 31 00:01:35,279 --> 00:01:37,941 Oh, God, look at this buffet. 32 00:01:38,115 --> 00:01:39,912 I love America. 33 00:01:40,084 --> 00:01:44,316 - You don't have buffets in India? - Of course, but it's all Indian food. 34 00:01:44,655 --> 00:01:47,488 You can't find a bagel in Mumbai to save your life. 35 00:01:47,658 --> 00:01:49,421 Smear me. 36 00:01:50,895 --> 00:01:53,921 - Well, here's an interesting turn of events. - What? 37 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:57,964 Howard brought a date? 38 00:01:58,135 --> 00:02:03,004 A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward. 39 00:02:03,741 --> 00:02:06,869 Hey, what up, science bitches? 40 00:02:08,279 --> 00:02:10,975 May I introduce my special lady friend, Summer. 41 00:02:11,148 --> 00:02:12,877 Howard, I told you, touching's extra. 42 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:14,677 Right. Sorry. 43 00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:18,179 Here comes our new boss. Be polite. 44 00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,583 Hi, fellas. 45 00:02:19,757 --> 00:02:21,622 - Eric Gablehauser. - Howard Wolowitz. 46 00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:24,522 Howard, nice to meet you. And you are? 47 00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:27,861 An actual real scientist. 48 00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,695 How was that? 49 00:02:33,938 --> 00:02:36,668 I can't believe he fired me. 50 00:02:36,841 --> 00:02:39,207 You did call him a glorified science teacher... 51 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:43,938 ...whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts. 52 00:02:44,415 --> 00:02:48,784 In my defense, I prefaced that by saying "with all due respect." 53 00:03:14,012 --> 00:03:15,138 Morning. 54 00:03:15,313 --> 00:03:16,678 Morning. 55 00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,873 You're making eggs for breakfast? 56 00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:22,042 This isn't breakfast, it's an experiment. 57 00:03:22,387 --> 00:03:25,584 Oh. Because it looks a lot like breakfast. 58 00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:29,625 I finally have time to test my hypothesis about the separation of water molecules... 59 00:03:29,794 --> 00:03:33,389 ...from the egg proteins and its impact vis-à-vis taste. 60 00:03:34,699 --> 00:03:36,826 Sounds yummy. 61 00:03:37,235 --> 00:03:39,066 I look forward to your work with bacon. 62 00:03:39,237 --> 00:03:41,068 As do I. 63 00:03:42,107 --> 00:03:45,975 You know, I'm sure if you just apologize to Gablehauser he'd give your job back. 64 00:03:46,578 --> 00:03:47,909 I don't want my job back. 65 00:03:48,079 --> 00:03:51,981 I've spent three and a half years staring at grease boards full of equations. 66 00:03:52,150 --> 00:03:54,584 Before that, I spent four years working on my thesis. 67 00:03:54,753 --> 00:03:58,917 Before that, I was in college, and before that I was in the fifth grade. 68 00:03:59,491 --> 00:04:03,518 This is my first day off in decades and I'm going to savor it. 69 00:04:03,695 --> 00:04:07,563 Okay. I'll let you get back to fixing your eggs. 70 00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:10,929 I'm not just fixing my eggs, I'm fixing everyone's eggs. 71 00:04:11,469 --> 00:04:13,960 And we all thank you. 72 00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:47,664 Use new eggs. 73 00:04:50,408 --> 00:04:53,206 Hi, I'm running out to the market. Do you guys need anything? 74 00:04:53,611 --> 00:04:56,102 Oh. This would be one of those circumstances... 75 00:04:56,281 --> 00:04:59,808 ...people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence. 76 00:04:59,985 --> 00:05:01,748 - I'm sorry? - I need eggs. 77 00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,945 - Four dozen should suffice. - Four dozen? 78 00:05:04,122 --> 00:05:09,526 Evenly distributed amongst brown, white, free-range, large, extra-large and jumbo. 79 00:05:09,694 --> 00:05:12,492 - Okay, one more time? - Never mind, you won't get it right. 80 00:05:13,598 --> 00:05:15,862 I'd better come with you. 81 00:05:16,167 --> 00:05:18,431 Oh, yay. 82 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:24,200 How come you didn't go in to work today? 83 00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:28,710 I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds. 84 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,905 So you got canned, huh? 85 00:05:31,082 --> 00:05:34,176 Theoretical physicists do not get canned. 86 00:05:34,719 --> 00:05:36,084 But, yeah. 87 00:05:37,188 --> 00:05:38,280 Maybe it's for the best. 88 00:05:38,456 --> 00:05:41,516 You know, I always say, "When one door closes, another one opens." 89 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:43,721 No, it doesn't. 90 00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:46,355 Not unless the doors are connected by relays. 91 00:05:46,531 --> 00:05:48,965 - Or there are motion sensors involved. - No, I meant-- 92 00:05:49,134 --> 00:05:53,537 Or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second. 93 00:05:54,339 --> 00:05:55,738 Never mind. 94 00:05:57,008 --> 00:06:00,068 Slow down. Slow down. Please, slow down. 95 00:06:00,245 --> 00:06:01,269 We're fine. 96 00:06:01,446 --> 00:06:03,505 You're not leaving enough space between cars. 97 00:06:03,681 --> 00:06:04,705 Oh, sure I am. 98 00:06:04,883 --> 00:06:06,544 No, no, let me do the math for you. 99 00:06:06,718 --> 00:06:09,152 This car weighs, let's say, 4000 pounds. 100 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,220 Now, add 140 for me, 120 for you-- 101 00:06:11,389 --> 00:06:14,415 - One-twenty? - Oh, I'm sorry, did I insult you? 102 00:06:14,592 --> 00:06:17,425 Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth? 103 00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,758 Well, yeah. 104 00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:20,955 Interesting. 105 00:06:21,132 --> 00:06:24,533 Anyway, that gives us a total weight of, let's say, 4400 pounds. 106 00:06:24,702 --> 00:06:26,795 Let's say 4390. 107 00:06:26,971 --> 00:06:28,370 Fine. 108 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:31,941 We're traveling forward at-- Good Lord. --51 miles an hour. 109 00:06:32,343 --> 00:06:35,471 Let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned. 110 00:06:35,647 --> 00:06:37,308 By the time we come to a stop... 111 00:06:37,482 --> 00:06:40,076 ...we'll be occupying the same space as that Buick. 112 00:06:40,251 --> 00:06:44,017 An impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death, mutilation and-- 113 00:06:44,189 --> 00:06:47,920 Oh, look, they built a new putt-putt course. 114 00:06:50,195 --> 00:06:51,719 This is great. 115 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:54,729 Look at me. I'm in the real world of ordinary people... 116 00:06:54,899 --> 00:06:58,630 ...just living their ordinary, colorless, work-a-day lives. 117 00:06:59,504 --> 00:07:01,995 - Thank you. - No, thank you. 118 00:07:02,474 --> 00:07:05,500 And thank you, ordinary person. 119 00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:09,142 Hey, you wanna hear an interesting thing about tomatoes? 120 00:07:09,314 --> 00:07:10,474 No. No, not really. 121 00:07:10,648 --> 00:07:13,549 Listen, didn't you say you needed some eggs? 122 00:07:13,718 --> 00:07:17,051 Yes, but anyone who knows anything about bacterial growth... 123 00:07:17,222 --> 00:07:20,157 ...knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out. 124 00:07:20,558 --> 00:07:23,118 Oh, okay, maybe you should start heading on out, then. 125 00:07:24,395 --> 00:07:26,386 No, this is fun. 126 00:07:26,564 --> 00:07:29,362 The thing about tomatoes, and I think you'll enjoy this... 127 00:07:29,534 --> 00:07:32,799 ...is they're shelved with the vegetables, but they're technically a fruit. 128 00:07:32,971 --> 00:07:34,233 - Hmm. Interesting. - Isn't it? 129 00:07:34,405 --> 00:07:37,067 No, I mean what you find enjoyable. 130 00:07:41,479 --> 00:07:42,503 Oh, boy. 131 00:07:44,382 --> 00:07:46,043 What now? 132 00:07:46,217 --> 00:07:48,777 Well, there's some value to taking a multivitamin... 133 00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:51,148 ...but the human body can only absorb so much. 134 00:07:51,322 --> 00:07:56,191 What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine. 135 00:07:56,895 --> 00:07:59,830 Well, maybe that's what I was going for. 136 00:07:59,998 --> 00:08:01,829 Well, then you'll want some manganese. 137 00:08:08,439 --> 00:08:09,997 Well, that was fun. 138 00:08:10,175 --> 00:08:12,643 Tomorrow we can go to one of those warehouse stores. 139 00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:13,868 I don't know, Sheldon. 140 00:08:14,045 --> 00:08:18,379 It's gonna take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today. 141 00:08:18,850 --> 00:08:22,217 Are you sure? There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk. 142 00:08:22,387 --> 00:08:24,821 For example, I noticed you purchase your tampons... 143 00:08:24,989 --> 00:08:26,456 ...one month's supply at a time. 144 00:08:28,993 --> 00:08:30,984 - What? - Well, think about it. 145 00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:32,561 It doesn't spoil... 146 00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:36,291 ...and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 years. 147 00:08:36,768 --> 00:08:39,862 You want me to buy 30 years' worth of tampons? 148 00:08:40,038 --> 00:08:41,130 Well, 30, 35-- 149 00:08:41,306 --> 00:08:44,070 - When did your mother go into menopause? - Okay. 150 00:08:44,876 --> 00:08:46,571 I'm not talking about this with you. 151 00:08:46,744 --> 00:08:47,836 Oh, Penny. 152 00:08:48,012 --> 00:08:51,914 This is a natural human process and we're talking about significant savings. 153 00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:55,814 Now, if you assume 15 tampons per cycle in a 28-day cycle-- 154 00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:57,750 Are you fairly regular? 155 00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:06,393 Okay, no warehouse store, but we're still on for putt-putt golf, right? 156 00:09:12,270 --> 00:09:15,068 Hey, I just ran into Penny. She seemed upset about something. 157 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,731 I think it's her time of the month. 158 00:09:19,911 --> 00:09:22,573 I marked the calendar for future reference. 159 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:27,945 What's with the fish? 160 00:09:28,119 --> 00:09:30,610 It's an experiment. 161 00:09:31,089 --> 00:09:34,422 - What happened to your egg research? - Oh, that was a dead end. 162 00:09:34,592 --> 00:09:37,686 Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be. 163 00:09:37,862 --> 00:09:40,990 So fish. 164 00:09:41,766 --> 00:09:45,634 I read an article about scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jellyfish... 165 00:09:45,803 --> 00:09:51,298 ...into other animals, and I thought, "Hey, fish nightlights." 166 00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:55,039 Fish nightlights. 167 00:09:55,213 --> 00:09:58,273 It's a billion-dollar idea. Shhh! 168 00:09:59,117 --> 00:10:00,141 Mum's the word. 169 00:10:01,886 --> 00:10:06,084 Are you sure you don't wanna just apologize to Gablehauser and get your job back? 170 00:10:06,257 --> 00:10:08,885 Oh, no, no, no. No, I have too much to do. 171 00:10:10,061 --> 00:10:11,153 Like luminous fish. 172 00:10:11,329 --> 00:10:14,196 - Shhh! - I'm sorry, I didn't.... 173 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:16,794 That's just the beginning. 174 00:10:17,235 --> 00:10:21,228 I also have an idea for a bulk, mail-order feminine hygiene company. 175 00:10:21,406 --> 00:10:23,806 Oh, glow-in-the-dark tampons. 176 00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:28,872 Leonard, we're gonna be rich. 177 00:10:32,617 --> 00:10:36,109 - Thanks for coming on such short notice. - You did the right thing calling. 178 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,482 I didn't know what to do. He's lost all focus. 179 00:10:38,656 --> 00:10:41,489 Every day, he's got a new obsession. 180 00:10:47,665 --> 00:10:50,259 This is a particularly disturbing one. 181 00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:54,368 Mommy? 182 00:10:55,006 --> 00:10:57,941 Hi, baby. 183 00:10:58,710 --> 00:11:00,610 You called my mother? 184 00:11:07,718 --> 00:11:11,154 Oh, you got yourself a loom. How nice. 185 00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:15,147 - Thank you. - Honey, why did you get a loom? 186 00:11:15,959 --> 00:11:20,726 I was working with luminous fish and I thought, "Hey... 187 00:11:21,231 --> 00:11:23,324 ...loom." 188 00:11:24,801 --> 00:11:26,996 Mom, what are you doing here? 189 00:11:27,171 --> 00:11:28,570 Leonard called me. 190 00:11:28,739 --> 00:11:30,866 I know, but why? 191 00:11:31,041 --> 00:11:33,475 Because one of the great minds of the 21 st century... 192 00:11:33,644 --> 00:11:36,875 ...is raising glow-in-the-dark fish and weaving serapes. 193 00:11:37,581 --> 00:11:39,845 This is not a serape. This is a poncho. 194 00:11:40,017 --> 00:11:43,145 A serape is open at the sides, a poncho is closed. This is a poncho. 195 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:47,450 And neither is a reason to call someone's mother. 196 00:11:48,025 --> 00:11:50,289 Really? When was the last time you left the house? 197 00:11:51,094 --> 00:11:52,561 I went to the market with Penny. 198 00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,458 Yeah, that was three weeks ago. 199 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,655 Well, then, buckle up. 200 00:11:55,832 --> 00:11:59,928 In the next four to eight days, she's going to get very crabby. 201 00:12:01,705 --> 00:12:04,299 Sweetheart, your little friend is concerned about you. 202 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:05,771 Yes, well, I'm not a child. 203 00:12:05,943 --> 00:12:09,037 I'm a grown man capable of living my life as I see fit. 204 00:12:09,213 --> 00:12:12,376 And I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother. 205 00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:15,079 Wait, where are you going? 206 00:12:15,252 --> 00:12:18,278 To my room and no one's allowed in. 207 00:12:19,923 --> 00:12:22,391 - He gets his temper from his daddy. - Ah. 208 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,925 - He's got my eyes. - I see. 209 00:12:25,429 --> 00:12:28,626 All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus. 210 00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,459 Sheldon, your mom made dinner. 211 00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:34,661 I'm not hungry. 212 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,773 Oh. Leonard, don't trouble yourself. He's stubborn. 213 00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:40,000 He may stay in there till the rapture. 214 00:12:41,612 --> 00:12:43,842 Are we so sure that's a bad thing? 215 00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,481 I love the boy to death... 216 00:12:45,649 --> 00:12:49,745 ...but he has been difficult since he fell out of me at the Kmart. 217 00:12:51,722 --> 00:12:53,121 Excuse me for being so bold... 218 00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:57,124 ...but I now see where Sheldon gets his smoldering good looks. 219 00:12:57,294 --> 00:13:01,321 Oh. Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying. 220 00:13:02,499 --> 00:13:03,932 I made chicken. 221 00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:09,097 I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic. 222 00:13:14,478 --> 00:13:17,106 You know, we have an Indian gentleman at our church. 223 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,511 A Dr. Patel. It's a beautiful story. 224 00:13:19,683 --> 00:13:24,052 The Lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20 percent off on LASEK. 225 00:13:24,221 --> 00:13:26,155 You know, those that needed it. 226 00:13:26,823 --> 00:13:28,586 That is a lovely story. 227 00:13:28,759 --> 00:13:30,522 Are we gonna do anything about Sheldon? 228 00:13:30,694 --> 00:13:33,219 Oh, we will. You have to take your time with Sheldon. 229 00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,558 His father, God rest his soul, used to say: 230 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,963 "Mary, you have to take your time with Sheldon." 231 00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:42,601 - Sounds like a wise man. - Oh, not so wise. 232 00:13:42,773 --> 00:13:45,867 He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice. 233 00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:52,306 So everybody grab a plate and a pretty placemat that Shelly wove. 234 00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:54,814 Has Shelly ever freaked out like this before? 235 00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:56,009 Oh, all the time. 236 00:13:56,186 --> 00:13:58,381 I remember one summer when he was 13... 237 00:13:58,555 --> 00:14:01,683 ...he built a small nuclear reactor in the shed... 238 00:14:01,858 --> 00:14:04,986 ...and told everybody he was gonna provide electricity for the town. 239 00:14:05,162 --> 00:14:09,565 Well, the only problem was, he had no, what you call, fissionable materials. 240 00:14:10,467 --> 00:14:13,231 Anyway, when he went on the Internet to get some... 241 00:14:13,403 --> 00:14:17,863 ...a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle... 242 00:14:18,041 --> 00:14:21,841 ...and told him it's against the law to have yellow cake uranium in a shed. 243 00:14:23,180 --> 00:14:25,375 - Well, what happened? - Well, poor boy had a fit. 244 00:14:25,549 --> 00:14:28,712 Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray. 245 00:14:29,686 --> 00:14:31,984 - A death ray? - Well, that's what he called it. 246 00:14:32,155 --> 00:14:34,350 Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids. Heh. 247 00:14:35,892 --> 00:14:37,860 It pissed our dog off to no end. 248 00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,194 You know, you two make a cute couple. 249 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,465 I-- No, no. No, we're not a couple. We're singles. 250 00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:51,699 Two singles. Like those individually wrapped slices of cheese that.... 251 00:14:52,943 --> 00:14:55,070 Or friends. 252 00:14:55,612 --> 00:14:57,341 - Did I pluck a nerve there? - Oh, yeah. 253 00:14:57,514 --> 00:15:00,142 Okay. All right, everybody, it's time to eat. 254 00:15:01,585 --> 00:15:06,386 Oh, Lord, we thank you for this meal and for all your bounty. 255 00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:11,050 And we pray that you help Sheldon get back on his rocker. 256 00:15:11,228 --> 00:15:15,460 Now, after a moment of silent meditation, I'm gonna end with "in Jesus' name"... 257 00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:18,396 ...but you two don't feel any obligation to join in. 258 00:15:19,936 --> 00:15:23,463 Unless, of course, the Holy Spirit moves you. 259 00:15:32,149 --> 00:15:35,084 Oh, my God, this is the best cobbler I've ever had. 260 00:15:35,252 --> 00:15:38,915 It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is? 261 00:15:39,089 --> 00:15:40,613 - Love? - Lard. 262 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:49,263 - Hey, look who's com-- - Shh. You'll spook him. 263 00:15:51,468 --> 00:15:53,936 He's like a baby deer. You gotta let him come to you. 264 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:03,641 This is ridiculous. 265 00:16:03,814 --> 00:16:05,441 Damn it, Sheldon, snap out of it. 266 00:16:05,982 --> 00:16:09,782 You're a physicist. You belong at the university doing research, not in your room. 267 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,850 You don't hunt, do you? 268 00:16:25,368 --> 00:16:28,565 Good morning, Snickerdoodle. 269 00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,932 - Morning. - Oh. 270 00:16:30,106 --> 00:16:32,666 Well, that looks awful fancy. What is that? 271 00:16:34,144 --> 00:16:39,377 It's my idea of what DNA would look like in a silicon-based life form. 272 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:44,216 But intelligently designed by a creator, right? 273 00:16:46,189 --> 00:16:47,315 What do you want, Mom? 274 00:16:47,724 --> 00:16:51,683 You know how your daddy used to say that you can only fish for so long... 275 00:16:51,862 --> 00:16:54,729 ...before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water? 276 00:16:54,898 --> 00:16:58,026 - Yeah? - Well, I'm done fishing. 277 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:01,634 - You put those on. - What for? 278 00:17:01,805 --> 00:17:03,705 Because you're gonna go to your office... 279 00:17:03,874 --> 00:17:06,399 ...apologize to your boss and get your job back. 280 00:17:06,576 --> 00:17:08,009 - No. - I'm sorry. 281 00:17:08,178 --> 00:17:12,274 Did I start that sentence with the words "if it please Your Highness"? 282 00:17:14,017 --> 00:17:16,713 I'm not going to. I didn't say anything that wasn't true. 283 00:17:16,887 --> 00:17:18,252 Now, you listen here. 284 00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:20,912 I have been telling you since you were 4. 285 00:17:21,091 --> 00:17:25,050 It's okay to be smarter than everybody, but you can't go around pointing it out. 286 00:17:25,228 --> 00:17:28,026 - Why not? - Because people don't like it. 287 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,124 Remember all the ass-kickings from the neighbor kids? 288 00:17:35,171 --> 00:17:36,900 Now, let's get cracking. 289 00:17:37,073 --> 00:17:41,032 Shower, shirt, shoes and let's shove off. 290 00:17:42,512 --> 00:17:47,176 Wouldn't have been any ass-kickings if that stupid death ray had worked. 291 00:17:51,454 --> 00:17:53,183 Problem solved. 292 00:17:53,356 --> 00:17:55,916 Really? That's impressive. 293 00:17:56,092 --> 00:17:58,890 Leonard, the Lord never gives us more than we can handle. 294 00:17:59,062 --> 00:18:01,462 Thankfully, he blessed me with two other children... 295 00:18:01,631 --> 00:18:03,064 ...who are dumb as soup. 296 00:18:08,638 --> 00:18:10,936 Excuse me, Dr. Gablehauser, are you busy? 297 00:18:11,107 --> 00:18:15,100 - Well, actually-- - Sheldon, he's just doodling. Get in here. 298 00:18:17,948 --> 00:18:20,246 - Dr. Gablehauser. - Dr. Cooper. 299 00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:24,076 Let's go, baby, we're losing daylight. 300 00:18:26,957 --> 00:18:28,219 Um.... 301 00:18:28,391 --> 00:18:32,555 As you know, several weeks ago in our first encounter... 302 00:18:32,729 --> 00:18:34,959 ...we may have gotten off on the wrong foot... 303 00:18:35,131 --> 00:18:36,655 ...when I called you an idiot. 304 00:18:37,634 --> 00:18:40,501 And I just wanted to say that I was wrong... 305 00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:43,468 ...to point it out. 306 00:18:45,241 --> 00:18:47,004 I'm sorry, we haven't been introduced. 307 00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:50,604 - Dr. Eric Gablehauser. - Mary Cooper, Sheldon's mom. 308 00:18:50,780 --> 00:18:54,045 Now, that's impossible. You must've had him when you were a teenager. 309 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,549 Oh, aren't you sweet. His father's dead. 310 00:18:59,422 --> 00:19:01,322 - Recently? - Long enough. 311 00:19:02,192 --> 00:19:04,057 Please. 312 00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:06,457 Sheldon, shouldn't you be working? 313 00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:13,002 Okay. 314 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,668 Hey, how did it go? 315 00:19:19,376 --> 00:19:20,638 I got my job back. 316 00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:22,937 Really? What happened? 317 00:19:23,113 --> 00:19:25,638 I'm not quite sure. 318 00:19:25,815 --> 00:19:30,377 It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me. 319 00:19:30,553 --> 00:19:33,181 Well, that narrows it down. 320 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,828 I'm very proud of you, honey. You showed a lot of courage today. 321 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,259 Thanks, Mom. 322 00:19:46,903 --> 00:19:48,268 - Mom? - Mm-hm. 323 00:19:49,005 --> 00:19:53,101 Is Dr. Gablehauser going to be my new daddy? 324 00:19:55,245 --> 00:19:59,147 We'll see. Sleep tight.