1
00:00:01,018 --> 00:00:04,181
All right,
I'm moving my infantry division...

2
00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:07,289
...augmented by a battalion of orcs
from Lord of the Rings.

3
00:00:07,457 --> 00:00:09,118
We flank the Tennessee volunteers...

4
00:00:09,293 --> 00:00:12,456
...and the North once again
wins the Battle of Gettysburg.

5
00:00:12,629 --> 00:00:15,689
Not so fast. Remember, the South
still has two infantry divisions.

6
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:18,164
Plus Superman and Godzilla.

7
00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:20,196
No, no, no. Orcs are magic.

8
00:00:20,370 --> 00:00:21,860
Superman is vulnerable to magic.

9
00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:24,064
Not to mention,
you already lost Godzilla...

10
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,539
...to the Illinois cavalry and Hulk.

11
00:00:26,977 --> 00:00:30,913
Why don't you just have Robert E. Lee
charge the line with Shiva and Ganesh?

12
00:00:31,081 --> 00:00:32,673
- You guys ready to order?
- Hang on.

13
00:00:32,849 --> 00:00:34,407
Shiva and Ganesh?

14
00:00:34,585 --> 00:00:37,076
The Hindu gods
against the entire Union Army?

15
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:38,983
And orcs.

16
00:00:39,156 --> 00:00:40,623
I'll be back.

17
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:44,318
Excuse me. Ganesh is the remover
of obstacles and Shiva's the destroyer.

18
00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:47,054
When the smoke clears,
Lincoln will be speaking Hindi...

19
00:00:47,231 --> 00:00:48,789
...and drinking mint juleps.

20
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,700
My boss says you have to either
order or leave and never come back.

21
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:56,271
What do you recommend for someone
with a man-sized appetite...

22
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,874
...from a morning of
weight-training and cardio-funk?

23
00:00:59,042 --> 00:01:00,134
A shower.

24
00:01:01,011 --> 00:01:03,502
I'll take the heart-smart platter.

25
00:01:03,947 --> 00:01:05,778
All right, thank you. And Sheldon?

26
00:01:05,949 --> 00:01:08,179
We don't eat here.
I don't know what's good.

27
00:01:08,352 --> 00:01:10,877
- Well, it's all good.
- Statistically unlikely.

28
00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,748
Just get a hamburger.
You like hamburgers.

29
00:01:13,924 --> 00:01:15,949
I like the hamburgers
where we usually eat.

30
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:19,152
You can't make the assumption
that I'll like the hamburgers here.

31
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,923
I'm sorry. Give him a hamburger.

32
00:01:22,099 --> 00:01:23,999
Which one,
the classic, the ranch house...

33
00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,362
...the barbeque burger
or the Kobe burger?

34
00:01:26,536 --> 00:01:28,436
Can't we just go to Big Boy?

35
00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:33,235
- They only have one burger, the Big Boy.
- The barbeque burger's like the Big Boy.

36
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,776
In a world that already
includes a Big Boy...

37
00:01:35,946 --> 00:01:38,278
...why would I settle for something
like a Big Boy?

38
00:01:38,448 --> 00:01:40,575
Because you are not at Big Boy.

39
00:01:41,585 --> 00:01:44,315
- Fine. I'll have the barbeque burger.
- Make it two.

40
00:01:44,488 --> 00:01:46,752
Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.

41
00:01:47,991 --> 00:01:49,356
Hey, Leonard. Hi, guys.

42
00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,686
- Hey.
- Hey, Leslie.

43
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:54,558
- I didn't know you ate here.
- We don't. This is a disturbing aberration.

44
00:01:54,731 --> 00:01:57,928
Leslie, this is Penny, she lives across
the hall from Sheldon and me.

45
00:01:58,101 --> 00:02:00,865
And walks in quiet beauty
like the night.

46
00:02:01,471 --> 00:02:03,530
Howard, I've asked you not to do that.

47
00:02:04,574 --> 00:02:07,065
Leslie and I do research together
at the university.

48
00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:09,438
Oh, wow. A girl scientist.

49
00:02:09,613 --> 00:02:11,911
Yep. Come for the breasts,
stay for the brains.

50
00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:14,145
So I'm glad I ran into you.

51
00:02:14,318 --> 00:02:17,014
The Physics Department string quartet
needs a new cellist.

52
00:02:17,187 --> 00:02:18,586
What happened to Elliott Wong?

53
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,622
Switched over to high-energy
radiation research, had a mishap.

54
00:02:21,792 --> 00:02:24,693
And now the other guys
are uncomfortable sitting next to him.

55
00:02:25,095 --> 00:02:26,995
- So are you in?
- Yeah, sure. Why not?

56
00:02:27,164 --> 00:02:30,565
- We rehearse on Tuesdays at your place.
- Why at my place?

57
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,067
Yeah, Department of Energy said
our regular space is kind of a hot zone.

58
00:02:34,771 --> 00:02:36,830
- Nice meeting you.
- Yeah, you too.

59
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:39,237
Leonard, I didn't know
you played the cello.

60
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:41,570
Yeah, my parents felt
that naming me Leonard...

61
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,009
...and putting me
in advanced-placement classes...

62
00:02:44,181 --> 00:02:46,115
...wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

63
00:02:46,883 --> 00:02:49,044
If you're into music, I happen
to be a human beatbox...

64
00:02:49,219 --> 00:02:50,777
- ...so....
- Really?

65
00:02:57,627 --> 00:02:59,686
I'm actually not that into music.

66
00:03:00,731 --> 00:03:03,598
Your friend's really cute.
Anything going on with you two?

67
00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:05,260
Leslie?

68
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,699
No, no. What, are you kidding?

69
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:10,863
He asked her out once.
It was an embarrassing failure.

70
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:12,265
Thank you, Sheldon.

71
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,603
I'm sorry.
Was that supposed to be a secret?

72
00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:18,576
That's too bad.
You guys would make a cute couple.

73
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,046
- Oh, dear.
- What's the matter?

74
00:03:22,219 --> 00:03:23,379
She didn't take my order.

75
00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:26,784
How could she take your order
when you're too neurotic to talk to her?

76
00:03:27,557 --> 00:03:30,958
Nevertheless,
this will be reflected in her tip.

77
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,422
What did Penny mean,
"you'd make a cute couple"?

78
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,261
I assume she meant
the two of you...

79
00:03:38,435 --> 00:03:41,962
...would constitute a couple
that others might consider cute.

80
00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:48,306
An alternate and less likely interpretation
is that you could manufacture one.

81
00:03:49,413 --> 00:03:52,177
As in, "Look, Leonard and Leslie
made Mr. and Mrs. Goldfarb.

82
00:03:52,349 --> 00:03:54,146
Aren't they adorable?"

83
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,877
If Penny didn't know
that Leslie had turned me down...

84
00:03:57,053 --> 00:04:01,251
...then that would mean that she, Penny,
thought I should ask her, Leslie, out...

85
00:04:01,425 --> 00:04:04,292
...indicating that Penny had no interest
in me asking her out.

86
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,759
But because she did know
I had asked Leslie out...

87
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:09,023
...and that she, Leslie,
had turned me down...

88
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:12,600
...then she, Penny,
could be offering consolation.

89
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:16,768
"That's too bad,
you would have made a cute couple."

90
00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:21,377
But while thinking,
"Good, Leonard remains available."

91
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,878
You're a lucky man, Leonard.

92
00:04:26,149 --> 00:04:27,173
How so?

93
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,580
You're talking to one of
the three men in the West...

94
00:04:29,753 --> 00:04:32,187
...capable of following
that train of thought.

95
00:04:33,290 --> 00:04:34,416
Well, what do you think?

96
00:04:34,591 --> 00:04:37,583
I said I could follow it,
I didn't say I cared.

97
00:05:07,658 --> 00:05:10,218
I admire your fingering.

98
00:05:10,661 --> 00:05:12,356
Thank you.

99
00:05:13,197 --> 00:05:16,325
Maybe sometime you can
try that on my instrument.

100
00:05:25,142 --> 00:05:26,837
- Good night, guys. Good job.
- Thanks.

101
00:05:27,011 --> 00:05:28,478
See you next week.

102
00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:31,508
- That was fun. Thanks for including me.
- You're welcome.

103
00:05:31,682 --> 00:05:34,879
If you're up for it, we could practice
that middle section again.

104
00:05:35,052 --> 00:05:36,952
Sure. Why not?

105
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:46,227
Just so we're clear, you understand
me hanging back to practice with you...

106
00:05:46,397 --> 00:05:48,957
...is a pretext for letting you know
that I'm sexually available.

107
00:05:56,407 --> 00:05:57,704
Really?

108
00:05:57,875 --> 00:05:59,240
Yeah, I'm good to go.

109
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,901
I thought you weren't interested in me.

110
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:06,539
That was before I saw you handling that
beautiful piece of wood between your legs.

111
00:06:08,419 --> 00:06:09,943
You mean my cello.

112
00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:12,588
No, I mean the obvious,
crude double entendre.

113
00:06:12,756 --> 00:06:14,781
I'm seducing you.

114
00:06:15,993 --> 00:06:17,927
No kidding.

115
00:06:18,228 --> 00:06:21,595
What can I say?
I'm a passionate and impulsive woman.

116
00:06:22,466 --> 00:06:23,490
So how about it?

117
00:06:24,501 --> 00:06:26,196
Gee....

118
00:06:26,637 --> 00:06:30,095
- Is it the waitress?
- Penny? What about her?

119
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:32,538
I saw your pupils dilate
when you looked at her...

120
00:06:32,709 --> 00:06:36,110
...which, unless you're a heroin addict,
points to sexual attraction.

121
00:06:37,514 --> 00:06:39,607
I did have a poppy-seed bagel
for breakfast...

122
00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:42,547
...which could give
a positive urine test for opiates...

123
00:06:42,719 --> 00:06:44,584
...but certainly not dilate my pupils...

124
00:06:44,755 --> 00:06:47,656
...so I guess there was no point
in bringing it up.

125
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,560
- You and the waitress, then.
- No, no.

126
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:54,424
There's nothing going on
between Penny and me.

127
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:57,031
So you're open to a sexual relationship?

128
00:06:58,302 --> 00:07:00,167
Yeah. Yeah, I guess I am.

129
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,929
- Good.
- Yeah, it is.

130
00:07:02,106 --> 00:07:03,767
It is good.

131
00:07:05,109 --> 00:07:07,043
Did you wanna start now?

132
00:07:07,211 --> 00:07:10,339
- Why don't we finish this section first?
- Oh, okay.

133
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:12,641
A little musical foreplay. Terrific.

134
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,659
- I'm-- Good to go.
- Me too.

135
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,334
Oh. Hey, Sheldon. What's going on?

136
00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,102
I need your opinion
on a matter of semiotics.

137
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,837
- I'm sorry?
- Semiotics, the study of signs and symbols.

138
00:07:56,010 --> 00:07:59,138
It's a branch of philosophy
related to linguistics.

139
00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:04,140
Okay, sweetie, I know you think
you're explaining yourself...

140
00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,752
...but you're really not.

141
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,120
Just come with me.

142
00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:15,789
Well?

143
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:19,091
- Well, what?
- What does it mean?

144
00:08:19,433 --> 00:08:21,264
Come on, you went to college.

145
00:08:21,435 --> 00:08:23,733
Yes, but I was 11.

146
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,298
A tie on the doorknob usually means
someone doesn't wanna be disturbed...

147
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,810
...because they're, you know,
getting busy.

148
00:08:34,815 --> 00:08:36,874
So you're saying
Leonard has a girl in there?

149
00:08:37,051 --> 00:08:41,852
Well, either that or he's lost his tie rack
and gotten really into Bryan Adams.

150
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,949
Oh, Leonard, you magnificent beast.

151
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:51,056
We really shouldn't be standing here.

152
00:08:53,067 --> 00:08:55,001
This is very awkward.

153
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:58,500
Oh, come on. You know,
Leonard's had girls over before, right?

154
00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:02,904
Oh, yes. But there's usually planning,
courtship, advance notice.

155
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:08,312
You know, last time, I was able to book
a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.

156
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:12,708
Wait, wait. You had to leave the state
because your roommate was having sex?

157
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:15,912
I didn't have to.
The dates just happened to coincide.

158
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:20,818
So do you know who's in there?

159
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,888
Well, there's Leonard.

160
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:31,404
And he's either with Leslie Winkle
or a 1930s gangster.

161
00:09:33,474 --> 00:09:36,409
Hmm. Good for him.

162
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,042
Good for Leonard.

163
00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:41,240
Okay. Night.

164
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,042
No, don't. Wait, hold on.

165
00:09:43,217 --> 00:09:46,550
- What's the matter?
- I don't know what the protocol is here.

166
00:09:48,455 --> 00:09:50,480
Do I stay? Do I leave?

167
00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:53,353
Do I wait to greet them
with a refreshing beverage?

168
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:57,397
Gee, Sheldon,
you're asking the wrong girl.

169
00:09:57,564 --> 00:09:59,691
I'm usually on the other side
of the tie.

170
00:10:19,287 --> 00:10:21,084
Hi, Leonard?

171
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,517
It's me.

172
00:10:25,694 --> 00:10:27,355
Sheldon.

173
00:10:28,497 --> 00:10:30,226
In the living room.

174
00:10:30,398 --> 00:10:32,798
I just--
I wanted you to know I saw the tie.

175
00:10:32,968 --> 00:10:35,596
Message received.

176
00:10:38,306 --> 00:10:40,331
You're welcome.

177
00:10:41,309 --> 00:10:44,972
You carry on. Give my best to Leslie.

178
00:11:22,317 --> 00:11:23,978
Big Boy.

179
00:11:48,677 --> 00:11:51,111
Someone touched my board.

180
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:56,174
Oh, God, my board.

181
00:11:58,119 --> 00:11:59,780
Leonard.

182
00:11:59,955 --> 00:12:01,820
Leonard!

183
00:12:01,990 --> 00:12:03,685
Hey, what's the matter?

184
00:12:03,859 --> 00:12:06,054
Equations.
Someone's tampered with my equations.

185
00:12:06,228 --> 00:12:07,490
- Are you sure?
- Of course.

186
00:12:07,662 --> 00:12:10,062
Look at the beta function
of quantum chromodynamics.

187
00:12:10,232 --> 00:12:12,291
The sign's been changed.

188
00:12:12,467 --> 00:12:13,798
Oh, yeah.

189
00:12:13,969 --> 00:12:16,369
But doesn't that fix the problem
you've been having?

190
00:12:16,538 --> 00:12:18,802
Are you insane?
Are you out of your mind?

191
00:12:18,974 --> 00:12:22,375
Are you--? Hey, look, that fixes
the problem I've been having.

192
00:12:23,511 --> 00:12:25,376
You're welcome.

193
00:12:26,481 --> 00:12:28,642
You did this?

194
00:12:28,817 --> 00:12:31,843
Yeah. I noticed it when I got up
to get water, so I fixed it.

195
00:12:32,020 --> 00:12:35,080
Now you can show quarks are
asymptotically free at high energies.

196
00:12:35,257 --> 00:12:36,724
Pretty cool, huh?

197
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:40,155
"Cool"?

198
00:12:40,729 --> 00:12:42,196
Listen, I gotta get to the lab.

199
00:12:42,364 --> 00:12:44,332
Thanks for a great night.

200
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,958
Thank you. I'll see you at work.

201
00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:50,599
- Hold on. Hold on.
- What?

202
00:12:50,772 --> 00:12:53,707
- Who told you you could touch my board?
- No one.

203
00:12:53,875 --> 00:12:56,400
I don't come into your house
and touch your board.

204
00:12:56,578 --> 00:12:58,910
There are no incorrect equations
on my board.

205
00:13:02,117 --> 00:13:05,746
Oh, that is so, so....

206
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:11,090
I'm sorry, I gotta run. If you
come up with an adjective, text me.

207
00:13:14,729 --> 00:13:18,358
Inconsiderate. That is the adjective.
Inconsiderate.

208
00:13:20,035 --> 00:13:23,095
You can stare at your board all day,
she's still going to be right.

209
00:13:23,271 --> 00:13:24,863
I'm not staring, I'm mulling.

210
00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:26,803
- Oh, hey, Leonard.
- Hi.

211
00:13:27,375 --> 00:13:31,402
So how's it going?

212
00:13:33,648 --> 00:13:35,775
Pretty good.

213
00:13:36,151 --> 00:13:40,019
Just pretty good? I'd think
you were doing very good.

214
00:13:41,222 --> 00:13:45,158
"Pretty, very." There's really no objective
scale for delineating variations of good.

215
00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,454
Why do you ask?

216
00:13:47,629 --> 00:13:51,463
Well, a little bird told me that
you and Leslie hooked up last night.

217
00:13:53,301 --> 00:13:56,134
- Sheldon!
- I'm coming.

218
00:13:56,304 --> 00:13:58,864
So is it serious? Do you like her?

219
00:13:59,274 --> 00:14:00,969
I don't....

220
00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:06,003
That's really two different questions.
I'm not--

221
00:14:06,181 --> 00:14:07,944
Sheldon, we have to go.

222
00:14:08,116 --> 00:14:12,450
Boy, you're wound awfully tight
for a man who just had sexual intercourse.

223
00:14:13,855 --> 00:14:17,882
All right, well, I'll talk to you later.
But I am so happy for you, Leonard.

224
00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:20,789
Thank you.

225
00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:26,266
What did she mean, she's happy for me?

226
00:14:26,434 --> 00:14:30,063
Is she happy because I'm seeing someone
or because she thinks I'm happy?

227
00:14:30,238 --> 00:14:33,298
Because anyone who cared for someone
would want them to be happy...

228
00:14:33,475 --> 00:14:37,104
...even if the reason for their happiness
made the first person unhappy.

229
00:14:37,278 --> 00:14:39,678
You know, because the second person,
though happy...

230
00:14:39,848 --> 00:14:43,215
...is now romantically unavailable
to the first person.

231
00:14:43,385 --> 00:14:47,879
Do you realize I may have to share
a Nobel Prize with your booty call?

232
00:14:50,892 --> 00:14:52,587
You know what?

233
00:14:52,761 --> 00:14:54,353
I'm being ridiculous.

234
00:14:55,196 --> 00:14:56,891
But who cares what Penny thinks?

235
00:14:57,065 --> 00:15:00,228
Leslie is a terrific girl.
She's attractive. We like each other.

236
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:01,960
She's extremely intelligent.

237
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:05,038
- She's not that intelligent.
- She fixed your equation.

238
00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:07,504
- She got lucky.
- You don't believe in luck.

239
00:15:07,675 --> 00:15:10,166
I don't have to believe in it
for her to be lucky.

240
00:15:10,745 --> 00:15:13,646
Regardless, I have a chance
at a real relationship with Leslie.

241
00:15:13,815 --> 00:15:16,978
I'm not gonna pass that up for
some hypothetical future happiness...

242
00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:20,178
...with a woman who may
or may not want me to be happy...

243
00:15:20,355 --> 00:15:23,756
...with the woman
who is currently making me happy.

244
00:15:24,492 --> 00:15:25,686
- Leonard.
- Yeah?

245
00:15:25,860 --> 00:15:28,055
I still don't care.

246
00:15:36,171 --> 00:15:37,536
Hey, Leslie.

247
00:15:37,705 --> 00:15:41,141
Careful, Leonard. Liquid nitrogen,
320 degrees below zero.

248
00:15:42,210 --> 00:15:44,269
Brrrr. Heh.

249
00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:52,309
Why are you smashing
a flash-frozen banana?

250
00:15:52,487 --> 00:15:55,547
Because I got a bowl of Cheerios
and I couldn't find a knife.

251
00:15:57,559 --> 00:16:01,757
So anyway, hello.

252
00:16:04,065 --> 00:16:05,532
What are you doing?

253
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:07,964
Just extending the intimacy.

254
00:16:08,136 --> 00:16:10,468
Hey, do you wanna slip over
to the radiation lab...

255
00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:13,471
...and share a decontamination shower?

256
00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:20,611
Okay, what exactly do you think's
going on between us?

257
00:16:21,416 --> 00:16:25,716
I'm not sure, but I think I'm about
to discover how the banana felt.

258
00:16:29,457 --> 00:16:33,860
Neither of us are neuroscientists, but we
both understand the biochemistry of sex.

259
00:16:34,028 --> 00:16:37,464
Dopamine in our brains is released
across synapses, causing pleasure.

260
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:40,430
Stick electrodes in a rat's brain,
give him an orgasm button.

261
00:16:40,602 --> 00:16:43,298
He'll push that thing
until he starves to death.

262
00:16:43,471 --> 00:16:45,336
Well, who wouldn't? Heh.

263
00:16:45,507 --> 00:16:47,372
The difference between us and the rat...

264
00:16:47,542 --> 00:16:50,067
...is you can't stick an electrode
in our hypothalamus.

265
00:16:50,245 --> 00:16:51,735
That's where you come in.

266
00:16:53,748 --> 00:16:56,774
Yeah, well,
I'm just glad to be a part of it. Heh.

267
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:59,147
So, what happens now?

268
00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,051
Well, I don't know about your sex drive,
but I'm probably good till New Year's.

269
00:17:04,859 --> 00:17:06,121
Oh.

270
00:17:06,294 --> 00:17:07,886
Okay.

271
00:17:08,429 --> 00:17:10,727
- Thank you.
- Thank you.

272
00:17:13,568 --> 00:17:16,696
- You wanna make plans for New Year's?
- Please, you're smothering me.

273
00:17:16,871 --> 00:17:18,736
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

274
00:17:19,574 --> 00:17:22,338
Hey, look. It's Dr. Stud.

275
00:17:23,578 --> 00:17:24,602
Doctor what?

276
00:17:24,779 --> 00:17:27,475
The blogosphere is abuzzing
with news of you and Leslie...

277
00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:30,743
...making the bang, bang music.

278
00:17:31,286 --> 00:17:35,154
- Well, how did it get on the Internet?
- I put it there.

279
00:17:35,557 --> 00:17:37,354
Well, how did you know about it?

280
00:17:37,525 --> 00:17:39,186
A little bird told us.

281
00:17:40,228 --> 00:17:43,129
Apparently, you are a magnificent beast.

282
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,125
Well, that part's true.

283
00:17:52,774 --> 00:17:54,935
I think I may have
misjudged this restaurant.

284
00:17:54,936 --> 00:17:57,063
- No kidding.
- I don't wanna go out on a limb...

285
00:17:57,064 --> 00:18:00,261
...but I think we may be looking
at my new Tuesday hamburger.

286
00:18:01,016 --> 00:18:04,383
Your old Tuesday hamburger
will be so brokenhearted.

287
00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:06,244
Way ahead of you.

288
00:18:06,421 --> 00:18:10,949
I was thinking of moving Big Boy to
Thursdays and just dropping Souplantation.

289
00:18:11,727 --> 00:18:12,955
- Really?
- Yeah.

290
00:18:13,128 --> 00:18:16,393
The name always confused me, anyway.
Souplantation.

291
00:18:16,565 --> 00:18:18,362
You can't grow soup.

292
00:18:21,303 --> 00:18:24,295
- So how's everything?
- Terrific.

293
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:28,470
You'll be happy to know I plan to come
every Tuesday for the foreseeable future.

294
00:18:28,644 --> 00:18:31,545
Really? Oh, yay. Heh.

295
00:18:32,347 --> 00:18:35,214
Who do I speak to about
permanently reserving this table?

296
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:38,714
I don't know, a psychiatrist?

297
00:18:40,122 --> 00:18:41,555
So, hey.

298
00:18:42,024 --> 00:18:45,118
- How are things with you and Leslie?
- Oh.

299
00:18:45,294 --> 00:18:47,990
To be honest,
I don't think it's going to work out.

300
00:18:49,298 --> 00:18:52,028
Oh, that's too bad.
Well, hey, don't worry.

301
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,658
I'm sure there's someone out there
who's just right for you.

302
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:01,174
Well, what did she mean by that?

303
00:19:01,543 --> 00:19:05,741
Was that just a generic platitude
or was that a subtle bid for attention?

304
00:19:07,749 --> 00:19:11,185
You know why this hamburger
surpasses the Big Boy?

305
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,512
This is a single-decker,
whereas the Big Boy is a double-decker.

306
00:19:14,690 --> 00:19:18,786
This has a much more satisfying
meat-to-bun-to-condiment ratio.

307
00:19:19,528 --> 00:19:22,088
- Are you even listening to me?
- Of course I'm listening.

308
00:19:22,264 --> 00:19:25,927
Blah, blah, hopeless Penny delusion,
blah, blah, blah.

309
00:19:27,769 --> 00:19:29,566
Okay, then.

310
00:19:31,173 --> 00:19:34,267
You know, you can grow
the ingredients for soup.

311
00:19:34,317 --> 00:19:38,867
Repair and Synchronization by
Ronnie, Dhaka, Bangladesh