1 00:00:01,718 --> 00:00:04,209 Watch this, it's really cool. Ahem. 2 00:00:04,387 --> 00:00:06,446 Call Leonard Hofstadter. 3 00:00:06,623 --> 00:00:10,559 Did you say, "Call Helen Boxleitner"? 4 00:00:12,462 --> 00:00:16,421 No. Call Leonard Hofstadter. 5 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:20,296 Did you say, "Call Temple Beth Seder"? 6 00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,870 - No. - Here, let me try. 7 00:00:24,541 --> 00:00:28,637 Call M' kflono M' kflooniloo. Ha-ha. Ha. 8 00:00:29,312 --> 00:00:31,439 Calling Rajesh Koothrappali. 9 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:40,252 Oh. It's very impressive. 10 00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:42,619 And a little racist. 11 00:00:43,727 --> 00:00:46,195 If we're through playing Mock the Flawed Technology... 12 00:00:46,362 --> 00:00:47,886 ...can we get on with "Halo" night? 13 00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:50,157 We were supposed to start at 8. It's now 8:06. 14 00:00:50,333 --> 00:00:51,732 So we'll start now. 15 00:00:51,901 --> 00:00:53,994 We have to decide if those lost six minutes... 16 00:00:54,170 --> 00:00:57,105 ...will come out of game time, bathroom time or the pizza break. 17 00:00:57,273 --> 00:00:59,036 We could split it two, two and two. 18 00:00:59,209 --> 00:01:02,269 If we're having anchovies on the pizza, we can't take it out of bathroom time. 19 00:01:03,613 --> 00:01:05,513 What fresh hell is this? 20 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,477 - Hey, Penny. Come on in. - Hey, guys. 21 00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:13,111 See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you'll have good luck. 22 00:01:15,425 --> 00:01:17,518 No, you won't. Uh.... 23 00:01:17,694 --> 00:01:20,527 - Can I hide out here for a while? - Sure. What's going on? 24 00:01:20,697 --> 00:01:23,564 Well, there's this girl I know from back in Nebraska, Christy. 25 00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:26,258 She called me up, she's like, "Hey, how's California?" 26 00:01:26,436 --> 00:01:28,768 And I'm like, "Awesome," because it's not Nebraska. 27 00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:31,839 The next thing I know, she's invited herself to stay with me. 28 00:01:32,008 --> 00:01:34,704 - 8:08. - Shh. 29 00:01:35,445 --> 00:01:38,073 She got here today and she's just been in my apartment... 30 00:01:38,248 --> 00:01:42,344 ...yakking about every guy she slept with in Omaha, which is every guy in Omaha... 31 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:45,044 ...and washing the sluttiest collection of underwear... 32 00:01:45,221 --> 00:01:47,121 ...you have ever seen in my bathroom sink. 33 00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:50,555 Is she doing it one thong at a time or does she throw it all in? 34 00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:53,457 Like some sort of erotic bouillabaisse? 35 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:57,556 - He really needs to dial it down. - I know. 36 00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:02,037 So if you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay? 37 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,072 She was engaged to my cousin while sleeping with my brother... 38 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,538 ...so she's kind of family. 39 00:02:08,011 --> 00:02:10,309 Yeah, I apologize for my earlier outburst. 40 00:02:10,480 --> 00:02:12,380 Who needs "Halo" when we can be regaled... 41 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,575 ...with the delightfully folksy tale of the whore of Omaha? 42 00:02:16,619 --> 00:02:18,587 Oh.... I don't think she's a whore. 43 00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:20,382 No, yeah, she's definitely a whore. 44 00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,957 I mean, she has absolutely no standards. 45 00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,390 This one time, she was at.... 46 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:26,722 Where's Howard? 47 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,124 Bonjour, mademoiselle. 48 00:02:28,298 --> 00:02:30,095 I understand you're new in town. 49 00:02:31,634 --> 00:02:32,931 Oh, good grief. 50 00:03:03,132 --> 00:03:08,001 Ugh. I cannot believe Christy let Howard into my apartment. 51 00:03:08,404 --> 00:03:10,668 And I cannot believe people pay for horoscopes... 52 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:15,174 ...but on a more serious note, it's 8:13 and we're still not playing "Halo." 53 00:03:15,345 --> 00:03:18,246 Okay, fine. We'll just play one-on-one until he gets back. 54 00:03:18,414 --> 00:03:20,143 One-on-one? We don't play one-on-one. 55 00:03:20,316 --> 00:03:24,116 We play teams, not one-on-one. One-on-one. 56 00:03:24,587 --> 00:03:28,751 Well, the only way we can play teams at this point is if we cut Raj in half. 57 00:03:29,025 --> 00:03:32,984 Sure, cut the foreigner in half. There's a billion more where he came from. 58 00:03:33,363 --> 00:03:35,422 Hey, if you guys need a fourth, I'll play. 59 00:03:35,598 --> 00:03:38,123 - Great idea. - Uh, no. 60 00:03:39,168 --> 00:03:43,229 The wheel was a great idea. Relativity was a great idea. 61 00:03:43,406 --> 00:03:46,307 This is a notion, and a rather sucky one at that. 62 00:03:47,176 --> 00:03:49,201 - Why? - Why? Oh.... 63 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:52,815 - Penny, Penny, Penny. - What, what, what? 64 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:56,145 This is a complex battle simulation with a steep learning curve. 65 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:58,719 There are myriad weapons, vehicles and strategies to master... 66 00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:00,913 ...not to mention an extremely intricate back-story. 67 00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:05,557 Cool! Whose head did I just blow off? 68 00:04:06,195 --> 00:04:07,219 Mine. 69 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:11,561 Okay, I got this. Lock and load, boys. 70 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:14,193 It's the only way we can play teams. 71 00:04:14,370 --> 00:04:17,806 But whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-- 72 00:04:19,175 --> 00:04:20,972 Ha-ha! There goes your head again. 73 00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:25,069 Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. 74 00:04:25,248 --> 00:04:27,148 You need to give them a chance to-- Now, come on. 75 00:04:28,651 --> 00:04:30,551 Raj, Raj, she's got me cornered. Cover me. 76 00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,847 Cover this, suckers. 77 00:04:34,223 --> 00:04:35,315 Penny, you are on fire. 78 00:04:35,491 --> 00:04:37,584 Yeah, and so is Sheldon. 79 00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:42,226 Okay, that's it. I don't know how, but she is cheating. 80 00:04:42,398 --> 00:04:45,993 No one can be that attractive and this skilled at a video game. 81 00:04:46,169 --> 00:04:48,364 Wait, Sheldon, come back. You forgot something. 82 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,596 What? 83 00:04:49,772 --> 00:04:51,501 This plasma grenade. 84 00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:56,344 Ha! Look, it's raining you. 85 00:04:57,580 --> 00:05:01,016 You laugh now, you just wait until you need tech support. 86 00:05:02,685 --> 00:05:04,983 Gosh. He's kind of a sore loser, isn't he? 87 00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:08,612 Well, to be fair, he's also a rather unpleasant winner. 88 00:05:08,791 --> 00:05:10,656 Well, it's been fun. 89 00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,590 Penny, we make such a good team. 90 00:05:12,762 --> 00:05:15,560 Maybe we could enter a couple of "Halo" tournaments sometime. 91 00:05:16,099 --> 00:05:18,533 Or we could just have a life. 92 00:05:19,602 --> 00:05:22,196 I guess for you, that's an option. Ha-ha. Ha. 93 00:05:22,638 --> 00:05:24,162 - Good night, Leonard. - Good night. 94 00:05:24,340 --> 00:05:26,831 As usual, nice talking to you, Raj. 95 00:05:28,211 --> 00:05:30,270 What do you suppose she meant by that? 96 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:32,907 She's an enigma, Raj. 97 00:05:33,716 --> 00:05:36,651 There's a certain ethic to the game, Penny, a well-established-- 98 00:05:36,819 --> 00:05:39,344 - She's gone, Sheldon. - Oh. 99 00:05:39,522 --> 00:05:41,387 Well, she could have said goodbye. 100 00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:44,619 Okay, I have a problem. 101 00:05:44,794 --> 00:05:48,059 It's called carpal tunnel syndrome, and quite frankly, you deserve it. 102 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,790 What's wrong? 103 00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:56,769 Well, um, Howard and Christy are kind of hooking up in my bedroom. 104 00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,299 - Are you sure? - Look, I grew up on a farm, okay? 105 00:06:00,476 --> 00:06:04,412 From what I heard, they're either having sex or Howard's caught in a milking machine. 106 00:06:07,216 --> 00:06:08,911 Do you mind if I stay here tonight? 107 00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:12,282 No. Yeah, take the couch, or my bed. I just got new pillows. 108 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,719 Hypoallergenic. 109 00:06:15,258 --> 00:06:16,589 Uh, the couch is good. 110 00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:19,023 Hold that thought. Leonard, a moment. 111 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,599 You have a problem with this. 112 00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:25,791 Where do I begin? 113 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:28,801 It's up to you. Crazy person's choice. 114 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,303 Well, first, we don't have house guests. 115 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,500 Frankly, if I could afford the rent, I'd ask you to leave. 116 00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:37,940 Your friendship means a lot to me as well. What else? 117 00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:40,778 Well, our earthquake supplies. 118 00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:43,350 - We have a two-man, two-day kit. - So? 119 00:06:43,519 --> 00:06:46,784 So if there's an earthquake and the three of us are trapped here... 120 00:06:46,956 --> 00:06:49,948 ...we could be out of food by tomorrow afternoon. 121 00:06:50,693 --> 00:06:52,820 Are you suggesting that if we let Penny stay... 122 00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:55,122 ...we might succumb to cannibalism? 123 00:06:55,298 --> 00:06:58,165 No one ever thinks it'll happen until it does. 124 00:06:59,469 --> 00:07:04,304 Penny, if you promise not to chew the flesh off our bones while we sleep, you can stay. 125 00:07:04,740 --> 00:07:09,575 - Ha. What? - He's engaging in reductio ad absurdum. 126 00:07:10,446 --> 00:07:14,007 It's the fallacy of extending someone's argument to ridiculous proportions... 127 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,277 ...and then criticizing the result. And I don't appreciate it. 128 00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:20,520 I'll get you a blanket and a pillow. 129 00:07:20,823 --> 00:07:25,157 Okay, since I'm obviously being ignored here, let's go over the morning schedule. 130 00:07:25,328 --> 00:07:27,853 I use the bathroom from 7 to 7:20. 131 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,498 Plan your ablutions and bodily functions accordingly. 132 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:34,265 How am I supposed to plan my bodily functions? 133 00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:36,701 I suggest no liquids after 11 p.m. 134 00:07:37,673 --> 00:07:40,369 - Here you go. - Thanks, Leonard. 135 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,503 Hm-hm. Wrong. 136 00:07:46,349 --> 00:07:47,373 I'm listening. 137 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,518 Your head goes on the other end. 138 00:07:49,685 --> 00:07:51,676 - Why? - It's culturally universal. 139 00:07:51,854 --> 00:07:53,617 A bed, even a temporary bed... 140 00:07:53,789 --> 00:07:56,553 ...is always oriented with the headboard away from the door. 141 00:07:56,726 --> 00:08:01,493 It serves the ancient imperative of protecting oneself against marauders. 142 00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:06,331 - I'll risk it. - Ooh. 143 00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:07,867 Anything else I should know? 144 00:08:08,037 --> 00:08:11,973 Yes. If you use my toothbrush, I'll jump out that window. 145 00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:16,343 Please don't come to my funeral. Have a good night. 146 00:08:18,881 --> 00:08:20,974 - Sorry about that. - That's okay. 147 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:25,553 FYl, his toothbrush is the red one in the Plexiglas case under the UV light. 148 00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:29,122 - Ha. Got it. - Well, sleep tight. 149 00:08:29,292 --> 00:08:31,089 Thanks. 150 00:08:33,829 --> 00:08:36,855 Funny expression, sleep tight. Ha-ha. Ha. 151 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:40,428 It refers to the early construction of beds... 152 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:44,403 ...which featured a mattress suspended on interlocking ropes, which occasionally-- 153 00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,109 Sleep tight. 154 00:10:01,884 --> 00:10:03,181 What are you doing? 155 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:10,250 Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment I have awakened at 6:15... 156 00:10:10,426 --> 00:10:13,088 ...poured a bowl of cereal, added a quarter cup of milk... 157 00:10:13,262 --> 00:10:17,995 ...sat on this end of this couch, turned on BBC America, and watched Doctor Who. 158 00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:19,859 Penny's still sleeping. 159 00:10:21,504 --> 00:10:23,938 Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment... 160 00:10:24,106 --> 00:10:26,074 ...I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself-- 161 00:10:26,242 --> 00:10:28,369 I know. Look, you have a TV in your room. 162 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,205 Why don't you have breakfast in bed? 163 00:10:30,613 --> 00:10:34,413 Because I am neither an invalid nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day. 164 00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:37,580 What time is it? 165 00:10:38,020 --> 00:10:39,544 Almost 6:30. 166 00:10:39,722 --> 00:10:41,690 I slept all day? 167 00:10:42,291 --> 00:10:44,122 No, it's 6:30 in the morning. 168 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,294 What the hell is your problem? 169 00:10:48,464 --> 00:10:50,989 Okay, this cereal has lost all its molecular integrity. 170 00:10:51,167 --> 00:10:54,000 I now have a bowl of shredded wheat paste. 171 00:10:54,970 --> 00:10:57,632 Hola, nerd-migos. 172 00:10:59,975 --> 00:11:02,205 Why do you people hate sleep? 173 00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:04,942 Are you wearing my robe? 174 00:11:06,449 --> 00:11:08,576 Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'll have it cleaned. 175 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,083 That's okay, keep it. 176 00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:14,288 - Where's Christy? - In the shower. 177 00:11:14,557 --> 00:11:16,787 By the way, where did you get that loofa mitt? 178 00:11:16,959 --> 00:11:19,553 Yours reaches places that mine just won't. 179 00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:25,928 You used my loofa? 180 00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:28,502 More precisely, we used your loofa. 181 00:11:28,671 --> 00:11:31,299 I exfoliated her brains out. 182 00:11:33,476 --> 00:11:35,410 You can keep that too. 183 00:11:35,878 --> 00:11:40,076 Ah. Well, then, we'll probably need to talk about your stuffed-bear collection. 184 00:11:41,484 --> 00:11:43,645 - Howard? - In here, milady. 185 00:11:44,887 --> 00:11:48,482 Mm. There's my little engine that could. 186 00:11:53,095 --> 00:11:55,996 There's one beloved children's book I'll never read again. 187 00:11:56,599 --> 00:11:58,590 Hi. Christy. 188 00:11:58,768 --> 00:12:00,395 - Hey, Leonard. - I'm Sheldon. 189 00:12:00,569 --> 00:12:02,764 Right. You're Howard's entourage. 190 00:12:05,274 --> 00:12:07,174 So, Christy, what are your plans? 191 00:12:07,343 --> 00:12:10,779 Well, Howard said he'd take me shopping in Beverly Hills. 192 00:12:10,946 --> 00:12:14,643 Yeah, no, I meant plans to find someplace to live other than with me. 193 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:17,786 Not that I don't love having you, but it's a little crowded. 194 00:12:17,953 --> 00:12:20,012 Penny, you're always welcome to stay with us. 195 00:12:20,189 --> 00:12:23,249 Oh, terrific. Now we're running a cute little B & B. 196 00:12:24,026 --> 00:12:25,857 Let me offer a little thinking here. 197 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:29,156 - Why doesn't Christy stay with me? - You live with your mother. 198 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,993 I do not. My mother lives with me. 199 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,699 It's settled. Christy will stay with Howard, Penny can go back to her apartment. 200 00:12:36,872 --> 00:12:39,306 And I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who... 201 00:12:39,475 --> 00:12:42,535 ...although at this point, it's more like Doctor Why Bother. 202 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:47,240 - Sheldon, you just can't dictate-- - No more talking. Everybody go. 203 00:12:48,250 --> 00:12:51,845 So, what do you say? Wanna repair to Casa Wolowitz? 204 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,546 What is that, like a Mexican deli? 205 00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:56,918 I'm sorry, I should have mentioned this earlier. 206 00:12:57,092 --> 00:12:58,821 My last name is Wolowitz. 207 00:12:58,994 --> 00:13:01,554 Oh. That's so cool. 208 00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:04,130 My first Jew. 209 00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:10,672 I imagine there aren't very many kosher cornhuskers. 210 00:13:13,008 --> 00:13:15,704 - But you're still taking me shopping? - Anything you want. 211 00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:18,210 Okay, I'll go pack my stuff. 212 00:13:20,783 --> 00:13:24,344 When they perfect human cloning, I'm gonna order 12 of those. 213 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:28,185 Howard, can't you see she's using you? 214 00:13:28,357 --> 00:13:31,622 Who cares? Last night, she pulled off her blouse and I wept. 215 00:13:31,794 --> 00:13:33,455 Look, Howard, I know her, okay? 216 00:13:33,629 --> 00:13:37,065 She'll have sex with anyone as long as they keep buying her things. 217 00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:38,933 - Really? - Yeah. 218 00:13:39,101 --> 00:13:40,466 Yay. 219 00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:47,566 If you'll excuse me, I have some bar mitzvah bonds to cash. 220 00:13:55,518 --> 00:13:58,419 I'm sorry, we cannot do this without Wolowitz. 221 00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,522 We can't order Chinese food without Wolowitz? 222 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:02,952 Let me walk you through it. 223 00:14:03,125 --> 00:14:05,821 Our standard order is, the steamed dumpling appetizer... 224 00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,122 ...General Tso's chicken, beef with broccoli... 225 00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:10,697 ...shrimp with lobster sauce, and vegetable lo mein. 226 00:14:10,866 --> 00:14:12,766 Do you see the problem? 227 00:14:14,236 --> 00:14:16,204 I see a problem. 228 00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:19,967 Our entire order is predicated on four dumplings and four entrées... 229 00:14:20,142 --> 00:14:22,633 ...divided amongst four people. 230 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,641 So we'll just order three entrées. 231 00:14:26,815 --> 00:14:28,407 Fine. What do you wanna eliminate? 232 00:14:28,584 --> 00:14:31,485 - And who gets the extra dumpling? - We could cut it into thirds. 233 00:14:31,654 --> 00:14:33,121 Then it's no longer a dumpling. 234 00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:37,089 Once you cut it open, it is, at best, a very small open-faced sandwich. 235 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,822 Hi, fellas. 236 00:14:38,994 --> 00:14:43,624 Oh. Where's your annoying little friend who thinks he speaks Mandarin? 237 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,199 He's putting his needs ahead of the collective good. 238 00:14:46,368 --> 00:14:48,768 Where he comes from, that's punishable by death. 239 00:14:49,405 --> 00:14:52,135 I come from Sacramento. 240 00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:58,479 Can we get an order of dumplings, but with three instead of four? 241 00:14:58,647 --> 00:15:00,171 No substitutions. 242 00:15:00,349 --> 00:15:02,749 This isn't a substitution. It's a reduction. 243 00:15:02,918 --> 00:15:05,318 Okay. No reductions. 244 00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:08,556 Fine. Bring us three orders of dumplings. 245 00:15:08,724 --> 00:15:11,192 - That's 12, we'll each have four. - That works. 246 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,851 No. Because we'll need to eliminate another entrée. 247 00:15:14,029 --> 00:15:15,257 No eliminations. 248 00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:19,099 If we have extra, we'll just take the leftovers home. 249 00:15:19,268 --> 00:15:22,863 And divide it how? I'm telling you, we cannot do this without Wolowitz. 250 00:15:23,038 --> 00:15:24,505 Wolowitz is with his girlfriend. 251 00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:27,233 If you'd let me invite Penny, you would've had a fourth. 252 00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:29,138 Have you seen Penny eat Chinese food? 253 00:15:29,311 --> 00:15:31,575 She uses a fork and she double-dips her egg rolls. 254 00:15:32,114 --> 00:15:35,481 - We don't order egg rolls. - Exactly. But we'd have to if she was here. 255 00:15:35,651 --> 00:15:37,118 Can we please make a decision? 256 00:15:37,286 --> 00:15:41,689 Not only are there children starving in India, there's an Indian starving right here. 257 00:15:43,158 --> 00:15:45,388 There's an idea. Why don't we go out for Indian food? 258 00:15:45,561 --> 00:15:47,188 Ecch. 259 00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,129 You're nice boys. 260 00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:52,563 Tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna bring you the four dumplings. 261 00:15:52,735 --> 00:15:54,464 When I'm walking over to the table... 262 00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:57,504 ...maybe I get bumped, one of the dumplings fall to the floor. 263 00:15:57,673 --> 00:15:58,697 No one has to know. 264 00:16:00,542 --> 00:16:01,668 I'll know. 265 00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:10,141 - How about soup? - Yeah, we can always divide soup. 266 00:16:10,319 --> 00:16:11,809 What about the won tons? 267 00:16:18,093 --> 00:16:19,822 Oh. Hey, guys, what's up? 268 00:16:19,995 --> 00:16:21,986 It's "Halo" night. 269 00:16:22,831 --> 00:16:24,230 Yeah? Okay. 270 00:16:25,968 --> 00:16:27,435 So? 271 00:16:27,936 --> 00:16:30,928 With Wolowitz spending all of his time with your friend Christy-- 272 00:16:31,106 --> 00:16:35,099 She's not my friend. Friends do not get their friends' Care Bears all sweaty. 273 00:16:36,111 --> 00:16:39,911 Right, anyway, uh, with Wolowitz occupied elsewhere... 274 00:16:40,082 --> 00:16:42,516 ...we had something we wanted to ask you. 275 00:16:42,685 --> 00:16:44,585 - Sheldon? - Yes. Ahem. 276 00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:50,381 Penny, we would very much appreciate it... 277 00:16:50,559 --> 00:16:53,187 ...if you would be the fourth member of our "Halo" team. 278 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:58,031 I don't think I need to tell you what an honor this is. 279 00:17:00,235 --> 00:17:01,600 Oh. That's so sweet. 280 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:03,795 But I'm going out dancing with a girlfriend. 281 00:17:03,972 --> 00:17:06,270 You can't go out, it's "Halo" night. 282 00:17:06,642 --> 00:17:08,803 Well, for Penny, it's dancing night. 283 00:17:08,977 --> 00:17:10,945 - You go dancing every Wednesday? - No. 284 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:12,410 Then it's not dancing night. 285 00:17:14,316 --> 00:17:15,908 Look, why don't we play tomorrow? 286 00:17:16,085 --> 00:17:19,543 Tonight is "Halo" night. It's like talking to a wall. 287 00:17:20,489 --> 00:17:24,084 All right, now, Sheldon, you and I are about to have a problem. 288 00:17:25,894 --> 00:17:27,987 Sheldon, remember, we role-played this. 289 00:17:28,163 --> 00:17:30,927 Yes, but you didn't portray her as completely irrational. 290 00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,367 All right, fellas, I gotta go. 291 00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:35,628 But good luck. 292 00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:42,003 Maybe we should've asked if we could go dancing with her and her girlfriend. 293 00:17:42,177 --> 00:17:44,372 Okay, assuming we could dance, which we can't... 294 00:17:44,546 --> 00:17:46,446 ...there are three of us and two of them. 295 00:17:46,615 --> 00:17:50,915 - So? - It's the Chinese restaurant all over again. 296 00:17:51,086 --> 00:17:54,078 I assure you that cutting a dumpling in thirds is child's play... 297 00:17:54,256 --> 00:17:58,488 ...compared with three men each attempting to dance with 67 percent of a woman. 298 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:03,119 For God's sakes, Sheldon, you are driving me crazy. 299 00:18:03,298 --> 00:18:05,630 Your anger is not with me, but with mathematics. 300 00:18:05,801 --> 00:18:07,530 I'm pretty sure my anger is with you. 301 00:18:07,703 --> 00:18:10,399 What is happening to us? We're falling apart. 302 00:18:12,141 --> 00:18:14,609 - Who are you calling? - The only man who can restore... 303 00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:17,268 ...any semblance of balance to our universe. 304 00:18:17,446 --> 00:18:18,913 Hi, this is Howard Wolowitz. 305 00:18:19,081 --> 00:18:20,605 And this is Christy Vanderbelt. 306 00:18:20,783 --> 00:18:24,514 We can 't get to the phone right now because we're having sex. 307 00:18:26,622 --> 00:18:29,090 You're not gonna put that on your message, are you? 308 00:18:29,258 --> 00:18:30,850 No, I'm just kidding. I'll re-record it. 309 00:18:34,797 --> 00:18:36,094 Sheldon, think this through. 310 00:18:36,265 --> 00:18:39,291 You're going to ask Howard to choose between sex and "Halo." 311 00:18:39,468 --> 00:18:43,131 No, I'm going to ask him to choose between sex and "Halo 3." 312 00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:45,698 As far as I know, sex has not been upgraded... 313 00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,037 ...to include hi-def graphics and enhanced weapon systems. 314 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,840 You're right, all sex has is nudity, orgasms and human contact. 315 00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:54,976 My point. 316 00:18:55,484 --> 00:18:59,181 I'm just saying you can take the damn plastic off the couch once in a while. 317 00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,481 MRS. WOLOWITZ: Why, so you and Howard can hump on it? 318 00:19:03,358 --> 00:19:05,622 Ladies, ladies, I'm sure there's a middle ground. 319 00:19:05,794 --> 00:19:08,058 - Shut up, Howard! - Shut up, Howard! 320 00:19:08,797 --> 00:19:11,493 You guys talk. I'll take my scooter out for a little spin. 321 00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:13,999 Are you happy? You drove your son out of the house. 322 00:19:14,169 --> 00:19:15,796 Why don't you stop butting in? 323 00:19:15,971 --> 00:19:18,997 - What are you guys doing here? - It's "Halo" night. 324 00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:23,674 He's not a man, he's a putz. And don't you take that tone with me, you gold digger. 325 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:25,507 - What did you call me? - You heard me. 326 00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:28,343 And I'll tell you, you're barking up the wrong tree. 327 00:19:28,517 --> 00:19:31,577 Because as long as you're around, Howard is out of the will. 328 00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:34,984 You know what, I got better offers. I'm out of here. 329 00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:38,991 That's right. Go back to Babylon, you whore. 330 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:44,425 So "Halo" night, huh? 331 00:19:46,335 --> 00:19:49,532 - I thought she was the whore of Omaha. - Shh. 332 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:58,946 Sheldon, you got him in your sights. Fire! He's charging his plasma rifle. 333 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:01,878 - I can't shoot now, I'm cloaking. - Now, Raj, kill Sheldon. 334 00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:03,108 I can't see him. 335 00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,776 That's why they call it cloaking, dead man. 336 00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:08,684 - Start throwing grenades. - I'm all out. 337 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:11,623 Hey, guys, my friends and l got tired of dancing... 338 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,023 ...so we came over to have sex with you. 339 00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:15,686 Now, Raj, jump in the tank. 340 00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:18,890 - We said no tanks. - There are no rules in hell. 341 00:20:19,067 --> 00:20:22,264 Son of a bitch. Med-pack! I need a med-pack! 342 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:25,371 Told you. 343 00:20:25,540 --> 00:20:27,770 There's a sniper. Use your rocket launcher. 344 00:20:27,943 --> 00:20:30,207 All I've got is a needler and I'm all out of ammo! 345 00:20:30,379 --> 00:20:33,075 And now you're out of life. 346 00:20:34,683 --> 00:20:38,619 - Why did you hit pause? - I thought I heard something. 347 00:20:38,787 --> 00:20:40,778 - What? - No, it-- Never mind. 348 00:20:40,956 --> 00:20:42,651 Sorry, go.