1 00:00:09,693 --> 00:00:12,685 Damn you, WalletNook.com. 2 00:00:13,663 --> 00:00:14,687 Problem? 3 00:00:14,864 --> 00:00:17,128 The online description was completely misleading. 4 00:00:17,300 --> 00:00:19,768 They said eight slots plus removable ID. 5 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,837 To any rational person, that would mean room for nine cards. 6 00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:25,873 But they don't tell you, the removable ID takes up one slot. 7 00:00:26,042 --> 00:00:27,942 It's a nightmare. 8 00:00:28,578 --> 00:00:30,102 Okay, now, do you really need... 9 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,875 ...the honorary Justice League of America membership card? 10 00:00:34,384 --> 00:00:37,512 It's been in every wallet I've owned since I was 5. 11 00:00:38,088 --> 00:00:39,214 Why? 12 00:00:39,389 --> 00:00:42,552 It says, "Keep this on your person at all times." 13 00:00:43,927 --> 00:00:45,827 It's right here, under Batman's signature. 14 00:00:47,430 --> 00:00:51,025 And this is Leonard and Sheldon's apartment. 15 00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:53,795 Guess whose parents just got broadband. 16 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:57,906 Leonard, may I present, live from New Delhi, Dr. and Mrs.V.M.Koothrappali? 17 00:00:58,074 --> 00:00:59,098 Hi. 18 00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:01,709 Tilt up the camera. I'm looking at his crotch. 19 00:01:01,878 --> 00:01:03,209 Sorry, Papa. 20 00:01:03,379 --> 00:01:05,643 - Oh, that's much better. Hi. - Hi. 21 00:01:05,815 --> 00:01:09,444 - And over here is Sheldon. - Hi. 22 00:01:09,619 --> 00:01:10,711 He lives with Leonard. 23 00:01:10,887 --> 00:01:13,981 Oh, that's nice. Like Haroon and Tanvir. 24 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,715 No, not like Haroon and Tanvir. 25 00:01:15,892 --> 00:01:17,359 MRS. KOOTHRAPPALl: Such sweet young men. 26 00:01:17,527 --> 00:01:20,462 They just adopted the cutest little Punjabi baby. 27 00:01:20,630 --> 00:01:23,656 Yeah. No, we're not like Haroon and Tanvir. 28 00:01:24,134 --> 00:01:26,898 - So are you boys academics like our son? - Yes. 29 00:01:27,070 --> 00:01:29,834 Your parents are comfortable with limited earning potential? 30 00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,496 - Oh, yes. - Not at all. 31 00:01:31,941 --> 00:01:33,272 Papa, please don't start. 32 00:01:33,443 --> 00:01:35,536 What? It's just a question. He's so sensitive. 33 00:01:35,712 --> 00:01:38,180 That's my life, my friends. Good to see you. Say bye. 34 00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,372 - Bye. - Bye-bye. 35 00:01:39,549 --> 00:01:41,141 DR. KOOTHRAPPALl: Wait, wait. 36 00:01:42,652 --> 00:01:44,449 Before you go, we have good news. 37 00:01:44,621 --> 00:01:47,613 Put the computer down and gather your friends. 38 00:01:51,628 --> 00:01:54,620 - What is it, Papa? - I don 't see your friends. 39 00:01:56,966 --> 00:02:01,460 Is it just me or does web-chatting with your clothes on seem a little pointless? 40 00:02:01,638 --> 00:02:04,698 Rajesh, do you remember Lalita Gupta? 41 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:08,605 The little fat girl that used to kick me in the samosas and call me untouchable? 42 00:02:08,778 --> 00:02:11,872 Yes. Well, now she's a dental student at USC... 43 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,209 ...so we gave her your contact information. 44 00:02:14,951 --> 00:02:16,009 Why did you do that? 45 00:02:16,186 --> 00:02:18,814 You're 26 years old, Rajesh. We want grandchildren. 46 00:02:18,988 --> 00:02:22,788 - But, Papa, I'm not supposed-- - Lalita 's parents approved the match. 47 00:02:22,959 --> 00:02:25,894 If you decide on a spring wedding, we can avoid monsoon season. 48 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,723 A spring wedding? 49 00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,762 It's up to you. We don 't want to meddle. 50 00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:32,197 If you don't want to meddle, why are you meddling? 51 00:02:32,368 --> 00:02:34,427 Your parents don't consider this meddling. 52 00:02:34,604 --> 00:02:36,868 While arranged marriages are no longer the norm... 53 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:40,771 ...Indian parents continue to have an involvement in their children's love lives. 54 00:02:40,944 --> 00:02:43,674 Why are you telling me about my own culture? 55 00:02:44,447 --> 00:02:45,744 You seemed confused. 56 00:02:47,550 --> 00:02:51,543 - Sorry, but with all due respect, I don't-- - I'm sorry, darling. We have to go. 57 00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:53,416 Doogie Howser is on. 58 00:02:54,324 --> 00:02:56,690 Grandma, it's Doogie time. 59 00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:58,589 - Bye-bye. - Bye-bye. 60 00:03:02,065 --> 00:03:03,293 I don't believe it. 61 00:03:03,466 --> 00:03:04,490 Neither do I. 62 00:03:04,667 --> 00:03:07,329 Doogie Howser's been off the air for like 20 years. 63 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,836 Actually, I read that it's one of the most popular programs in India. 64 00:03:12,008 --> 00:03:16,240 Might speak to a cultural aspiration to have one's children enter the medical profession. 65 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:17,671 I bet you're right. 66 00:03:17,847 --> 00:03:20,008 - I bet they love Scrubs. - What's not to love? 67 00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,673 Excuse me, hello? 68 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:25,409 My parents are trying to marry me off to a stranger. What am I going to do? 69 00:03:25,855 --> 00:03:28,585 - I suggest you go through with it. - What? 70 00:03:28,758 --> 00:03:33,161 Romantic love as the basis for marriage has only existed since the 19th century. 71 00:03:33,329 --> 00:03:37,231 Up until then, arranged marriages were the norm and it served society quite well. 72 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,300 It's the premise of Fiddler on the Roof. 73 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:42,336 I'm not a big fan of musicals, but I love that show. 74 00:03:42,505 --> 00:03:44,837 Me too. Of course, it speaks to me culturally. 75 00:03:45,008 --> 00:03:49,377 Understandable, but there's a universality to that story which transcends ethnicity. 76 00:03:49,545 --> 00:03:51,979 Let's not forget it's got some really catchy tunes. 77 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:53,672 - Oh, yeah. - Absolutely. 78 00:03:53,850 --> 00:03:55,477 - I know what I'm gonna do. - What? 79 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:57,085 Find new friends. 80 00:04:03,159 --> 00:04:06,492 - So who wants to rent Fiddler? - No need. We have the special edition. 81 00:04:09,032 --> 00:04:12,058 Well, maybe we are like Haroon and Tanvir. 82 00:04:36,392 --> 00:04:38,360 This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 83 00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:41,156 Yeah, I need to cancel my membership to the planetarium. 84 00:04:43,900 --> 00:04:45,458 Yeah, well, I'm sorry too... 85 00:04:45,635 --> 00:04:48,604 ...but there's just no room for you in my wallet. 86 00:04:50,473 --> 00:04:54,136 No, I understand, but it was between you and the Museum of Natural History... 87 00:04:54,310 --> 00:04:56,676 ...and frankly, you don't have dinosaurs. 88 00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:00,816 Oh, I'll miss you too. Bye-bye. 89 00:05:01,818 --> 00:05:05,379 Okay, I know you're texting about me and I'd really like you to stop. 90 00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:10,956 Oh, dear, I am rightly and truly screwed. 91 00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:12,992 I thought you were finding new friends. 92 00:05:13,162 --> 00:05:14,959 I've got some feelers out. 93 00:05:15,465 --> 00:05:17,490 In the meantime, listen to this. 94 00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:19,965 Hi, Rajesh, this is Lalita Gupta. 95 00:05:20,136 --> 00:05:23,230 Your mother gave my mother your phone number to give to me. 96 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:27,843 So I'm calling you and call me back. 97 00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:29,501 Bye. 98 00:05:30,113 --> 00:05:32,377 Can you believe how pushy she is? 99 00:05:34,617 --> 00:05:36,050 So don't call her. 100 00:05:36,219 --> 00:05:38,517 If I don't call her, I won't hear the end of it. 101 00:05:38,688 --> 00:05:41,782 - So call her. - How can I call her? I can't talk to women. 102 00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:43,652 I'm done. Anybody else? 103 00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:46,052 - Give me the phone. - Why? 104 00:05:46,229 --> 00:05:48,424 Just give it to me. Sh. 105 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,624 - What are you doing? - Don't worry, you'll thank me. 106 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:54,333 Hello, Lalita? Raj Koothrappali. 107 00:05:57,306 --> 00:06:00,400 Yes, it is good to talk to you too. 108 00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:04,313 So, what are you wearing? 109 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,774 Oh, not important. 110 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:11,647 So anyhow, when would you like to meet? 111 00:06:12,722 --> 00:06:15,213 Friday works for me. 112 00:06:15,892 --> 00:06:18,326 I'll call you with a time and place. 113 00:06:18,494 --> 00:06:21,952 In the meantime, keep it real, babe. 114 00:06:27,870 --> 00:06:29,497 You may now thank me. 115 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,207 For what, making me sound like a Simpsons character? 116 00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:36,974 - Next time, make your own date. - Didn't wanna make this one. 117 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:40,604 Look on the bright side, she might turn out to be a nice, beautiful girl. 118 00:06:40,783 --> 00:06:43,411 Great, we get married, I won't be able to talk to her... 119 00:06:43,586 --> 00:06:46,555 ...and we'll spend the rest of our lives in total silence. 120 00:06:46,722 --> 00:06:48,314 It worked for my parents. 121 00:06:50,193 --> 00:06:51,421 - Hi, guys. - Oh, hey. 122 00:06:51,594 --> 00:06:52,618 I need guinea pigs. 123 00:06:52,795 --> 00:06:57,232 Okay, there's a lab animal supply company in Reseda you could try. 124 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:01,200 But if your research is going to have human applications, I suggest white mice. 125 00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:04,396 Their brain chemistry is far closer to ours. 126 00:07:05,641 --> 00:07:09,099 I swear to God, Sheldon, one day, I'm gonna get the hang of talking to you. 127 00:07:10,213 --> 00:07:12,738 His mom's been saying that for years. 128 00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,451 - What's up? - Well, I convinced the restaurant... 129 00:07:17,620 --> 00:07:20,817 ...to give me a bartending shift so I need to practice mixing drinks. 130 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:25,086 Oh, well, great. The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition. 131 00:07:25,261 --> 00:07:26,888 With certain obvious exceptions. 132 00:07:28,431 --> 00:07:30,797 Suicide, for example. 133 00:07:32,301 --> 00:07:34,394 So, Leonard, how about it? 134 00:07:35,671 --> 00:07:39,402 Penny, we'd love to help you, but Raj is going through some stuff right now. 135 00:07:39,575 --> 00:07:42,135 And besides, he doesn't drink, so.... 136 00:07:43,913 --> 00:07:45,312 Really? 137 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:47,406 Um.... 138 00:07:47,583 --> 00:07:52,452 Raj is going through some stuff right now and he'd like to take up drinking. 139 00:07:54,524 --> 00:07:57,425 Okay, here you go, Leonard. One Tequila Sunrise. 140 00:07:57,593 --> 00:07:58,685 - Thank you. - Mm-hm. 141 00:07:58,861 --> 00:08:02,592 This drink is an example of how liquids with different specific gravities... 142 00:08:02,765 --> 00:08:05,165 ...interact in a cylindrical container. 143 00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,695 Thank you. 144 00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:10,667 Okay, Raj, what'll it be? 145 00:08:13,609 --> 00:08:14,769 Whatever you recommend. 146 00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:18,280 How about a Grasshopper? I make a mean Grasshopper. 147 00:08:18,447 --> 00:08:19,607 Okay? Good, coming up. 148 00:08:19,782 --> 00:08:23,775 - Sheldon, what are you gonna have? - I'll have a Diet Coke. 149 00:08:24,620 --> 00:08:28,147 Okay, can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks. 150 00:08:28,324 --> 00:08:31,851 Fine. I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre. 151 00:08:33,529 --> 00:08:35,997 That's rum and Coke without the rum. 152 00:08:36,165 --> 00:08:37,655 Yes. 153 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:40,027 So Coke. 154 00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:41,636 Yes. 155 00:08:42,538 --> 00:08:44,472 And would you make it diet? 156 00:08:49,512 --> 00:08:50,809 There's a can in the fridge. 157 00:08:51,581 --> 00:08:55,415 A Cuba Libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge. 158 00:08:55,685 --> 00:08:57,710 Then swim to Cuba. 159 00:08:59,755 --> 00:09:01,985 Bartenders are supposed to have people skills. 160 00:09:03,759 --> 00:09:06,853 Okay. Raj, here you go. 161 00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,394 All right. Who's next? 162 00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:11,294 I'd like to try a Slippery Nipple. 163 00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:18,099 Okay, you're cut off. 164 00:09:19,742 --> 00:09:21,107 Anybody need a refill? 165 00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:23,042 Where did my life go, Penny? 166 00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:28,247 One day I'm a bachelor, and the next I'm married... 167 00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:32,786 ...and driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi. 168 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:36,121 Are you talking to me? 169 00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:38,924 Is there another Penny here? 170 00:09:39,862 --> 00:09:42,558 I had such plans. I had dreams. 171 00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:46,133 I was going to be the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. 172 00:09:46,302 --> 00:09:48,497 But with a penis, of course. 173 00:09:50,273 --> 00:09:51,467 It's amazing. 174 00:09:51,641 --> 00:09:53,108 Ever since I was a little boy... 175 00:09:53,276 --> 00:09:56,143 ...my father wanted me to be a gynecologist like him. 176 00:09:56,312 --> 00:10:00,248 How can I be a gynecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye. 177 00:10:03,753 --> 00:10:07,086 You know what? I'm not going to let my parents control my future. 178 00:10:07,256 --> 00:10:08,723 It's time for a showdown. 179 00:10:08,891 --> 00:10:11,018 Somebody give me a computer with a Webcam. 180 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:15,289 Okay. Sweetie, I think that's the Grasshopper talking. 181 00:10:15,464 --> 00:10:16,931 It's about to tell my parents... 182 00:10:17,099 --> 00:10:20,466 ...that I'm not riding an elephant down the aisle with Lalita Gupta. 183 00:10:20,636 --> 00:10:22,536 Okay, calm down. 184 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,900 No one can make you get married. 185 00:10:25,241 --> 00:10:27,505 Why don't you meet this girl, see what happens? 186 00:10:27,677 --> 00:10:30,237 Haven't you been listening? I cannot talk to women. 187 00:10:30,746 --> 00:10:33,681 - Raj-- - No, no, let's see how long it takes him. 188 00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,313 Raj, honey... 189 00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:39,921 ...you say you can't talk to women but you've been talking to me. 190 00:10:40,089 --> 00:10:42,250 And now we'll never know. 191 00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,619 You're right. I-- 192 00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,262 I am talking to you. 193 00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:50,791 Hello, Penny. How are you? 194 00:10:51,267 --> 00:10:52,529 I'm fine. 195 00:10:52,702 --> 00:10:54,966 Okay, now, I need to make sure I have a Lalita... 196 00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,128 ...before I meet the Grasshopper. 197 00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:03,106 It's a sweet green miracle. 198 00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:06,612 If you're gonna drink on this date, just promise me you won't overdo it. 199 00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:08,313 Overdo what? 200 00:11:08,484 --> 00:11:10,281 Happiness? 201 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:11,980 Freedom? 202 00:11:12,154 --> 00:11:17,649 This warm glow inside of me that promises everything's going to be all hunky dunky? 203 00:11:18,094 --> 00:11:19,391 Yeah, that. 204 00:11:19,562 --> 00:11:22,793 Why don't you bring her to my restaurant so I can keep an eye on you? 205 00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:24,592 Okay. 206 00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:28,867 What's the plan? Let's say he meets her, he likes her, they get married. 207 00:11:29,038 --> 00:11:31,871 What's he gonna do, stay drunk for the rest of his life? 208 00:11:32,041 --> 00:11:34,271 It worked for my parents. 209 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:49,220 I can't believe I'm sitting here next to little Lalita Gupta. 210 00:11:49,658 --> 00:11:51,285 Well, you are. 211 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,553 Little Lalita. 212 00:11:53,729 --> 00:11:55,253 That's kind of fun to say. 213 00:11:55,431 --> 00:11:58,628 Little Lalita, little Lalita, little Lalita. 214 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:01,269 - You should try it. - Oh, it's okay. 215 00:12:03,939 --> 00:12:05,964 You have lost so much weight. 216 00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:10,638 That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. 217 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,338 Do you remember? 218 00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,951 - Yes, I do. - Of course you do. 219 00:12:16,118 --> 00:12:18,848 Who could forget being that fat? 220 00:12:20,022 --> 00:12:21,216 Well, I've been trying. 221 00:12:22,525 --> 00:12:24,686 - So you're a dental student? - Hmm. 222 00:12:25,494 --> 00:12:29,988 Mm! Are you aware that dentists have an extremely high suicide rate? 223 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,327 Not as high as air traffic controllers, but there are far more dentists... 224 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:38,132 ...than air traffic controllers, so in pure numbers, you're still winning. 225 00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:40,241 Yay, me. 226 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,210 Do you have a drink that'll make him less obnoxious? 227 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,345 Drinks do not work that way. 228 00:12:47,116 --> 00:12:48,845 I'd say he's doing fine. Look at her. 229 00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:52,749 The last girl my mom set me up with had a mustache and a vestigial tail. 230 00:12:55,157 --> 00:12:56,715 - Sorry I'm late. - What happened? 231 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:59,460 Nothing. I just really didn't wanna come. 232 00:13:01,464 --> 00:13:04,194 Virgin diet Cuba Libre, please. 233 00:13:04,633 --> 00:13:08,296 - Okay. - In a tall glass with a lime wedge. 234 00:13:09,071 --> 00:13:11,539 Oh, I'll wedge it right in there. 235 00:13:13,275 --> 00:13:14,867 So how's Koothrappali--? 236 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,306 Oh, my Lord. 237 00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:19,312 - What? - That's Princess Panchali. 238 00:13:19,482 --> 00:13:21,382 I'm pretty sure her name's Lalita. 239 00:13:21,550 --> 00:13:25,680 No, no. Princess Panchali from The Monkey and The Princess. 240 00:13:25,855 --> 00:13:30,588 Oh, yeah, I tried to watch that online but they wanted my credit card. 241 00:13:31,694 --> 00:13:33,093 It's a children's story. 242 00:13:33,262 --> 00:13:35,230 Oh, no, it isn't. 243 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,127 When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time... 244 00:13:41,303 --> 00:13:42,668 ...my mother would read it. 245 00:13:42,838 --> 00:13:45,898 It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey... 246 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,067 ...who was mocked by the other monkeys because he was different. 247 00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:52,408 For some reason, I related to it quite strongly. 248 00:13:52,848 --> 00:13:54,577 I know the reason. 249 00:13:55,451 --> 00:13:57,681 We all know the reason. 250 00:13:58,721 --> 00:14:00,245 Sheldon, what are you getting at? 251 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:04,256 That woman looks exactly like the pictures of Princess Panchali in the book. 252 00:14:04,627 --> 00:14:08,427 How often does one see a beloved fictional character come to life? 253 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,065 Every year at Comic-Con. 254 00:14:11,734 --> 00:14:12,826 Every day at Disneyland. 255 00:14:13,002 --> 00:14:15,527 You can hire Snow White to come to your house. 256 00:14:15,704 --> 00:14:18,332 Of course, they prefer it if you have a kid. 257 00:14:19,408 --> 00:14:21,205 Hey, guys. This is Lalita Gupta. 258 00:14:21,377 --> 00:14:24,676 Lalita, this is Leonard and Sheldon and Howard and Penny. 259 00:14:24,847 --> 00:14:27,816 Isn't it great? She isn't fat anymore. 260 00:14:28,417 --> 00:14:29,714 Forgive me, Your Highness... 261 00:14:29,885 --> 00:14:32,581 ...for I am but a monkey and it is in my nature to climb. 262 00:14:32,755 --> 00:14:36,247 I did not mean to gaze upon you as you comb your hair. 263 00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:38,855 I'm sorry? 264 00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:42,156 You are the living embodiment of the beautiful Princess Panchali. 265 00:14:42,698 --> 00:14:45,758 Oh, no kidding. Who is that? 266 00:14:45,935 --> 00:14:48,529 A beloved character from an Indian folktale. 267 00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:50,329 Oh. 268 00:14:50,573 --> 00:14:53,508 Us Indian or "come to our casino" Indian? 269 00:14:55,444 --> 00:14:57,105 - You Indian. - Oh. 270 00:14:57,479 --> 00:14:59,538 The resemblance is remarkable. 271 00:14:59,715 --> 00:15:03,116 I can practically smell the lotus blossoms woven into your ebony hair. 272 00:15:03,519 --> 00:15:05,111 Well, thanks. 273 00:15:05,287 --> 00:15:07,653 I imagine you smell very nice too. 274 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,619 I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can. 275 00:15:12,227 --> 00:15:13,990 Really? So do I. 276 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,155 But you're a dentist, he's nuts. 277 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,395 Don't be insulting, Rajesh. 278 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:24,369 So, Sheldon, tell me more about this princess you say I look like. 279 00:15:24,540 --> 00:15:28,567 It was said that the gods fashioned her eyes out of the stars... 280 00:15:28,744 --> 00:15:32,737 ...and that roses were ashamed to bloom in the presence of her ruby lips. 281 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:34,641 Oh, my. 282 00:15:34,817 --> 00:15:36,808 - Back off, Sheldon. - What? 283 00:15:36,986 --> 00:15:41,355 If you do not stop hitting on my lady, you will feel the full extent of my wrath. 284 00:15:42,157 --> 00:15:43,317 I'm not hitting on her. 285 00:15:43,692 --> 00:15:45,057 And I am not your lady. 286 00:15:45,227 --> 00:15:47,661 And you have no wrath. 287 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,359 You are my lady. Our parents said so. 288 00:15:51,533 --> 00:15:54,001 We are, for all purposes, 100 percent hooked up. 289 00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:55,801 Let's get something straight. 290 00:15:55,971 --> 00:15:58,963 The only reason I came tonight was to get my parents off my case. 291 00:15:59,141 --> 00:16:01,905 I don't need to be getting this old-world crap from you. 292 00:16:02,077 --> 00:16:06,343 That's the kind of spirit with which Princess Panchali led the monkeys to freedom. 293 00:16:06,515 --> 00:16:08,779 - Screw Panchali. - You can't talk to me like that. 294 00:16:08,951 --> 00:16:10,475 But you're not Princess Panchali. 295 00:16:10,653 --> 00:16:13,019 Luckily for you. She could have you beheaded. 296 00:16:13,856 --> 00:16:16,017 - Sheldon, are you hungry? - I could eat. 297 00:16:16,458 --> 00:16:18,085 Let's go. 298 00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:22,621 What just happened? 299 00:16:22,798 --> 00:16:24,527 Beats the hell out of me. 300 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:28,329 I'll tell you what happened. I just learned how to pick up Indian chicks. 301 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,306 MRS. KOOTHRAPPALl: What are we supposed to say to Lalita's parents? 302 00:16:33,475 --> 00:16:36,239 I play golf with her father. I won 't be able to look at him. 303 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,404 Maybe you should keep your eye on the ball, Papa. 304 00:16:39,581 --> 00:16:43,745 Oh, now you're a funnyman? This is not funny, Mr. Funnyman. 305 00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:48,117 Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Raj's fault. 306 00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,781 - This is a family matter, Sheldon. - No, I'm Leonard. 307 00:16:51,026 --> 00:16:53,893 Oh. Sorry. You all look alike to us. 308 00:16:55,497 --> 00:16:56,930 But he's right, Papa. Listen to him. 309 00:16:58,534 --> 00:17:00,661 You, you are the one who ruined everything. 310 00:17:00,836 --> 00:17:02,394 Who is it? We can 't see. 311 00:17:02,571 --> 00:17:04,004 Turn us. Turn us. 312 00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:10,111 Go ahead, tell my parents why they won't have any grandchildren. 313 00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:13,573 How would I know? Do you have a low sperm count? 314 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:17,243 This has nothing to do with my sperm count. 315 00:17:17,419 --> 00:17:20,115 You are wearing the boxers that we sent you, aren 't you? 316 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,313 Yes, Mommy. 317 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:25,085 You know what happens to the samosas when you wear the tighty whities. 318 00:17:26,095 --> 00:17:28,290 Can we please stop talking about my testicles? 319 00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,594 - Sheldon, tell them what you did. - What did I do? 320 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,661 You left with his date. 321 00:17:33,836 --> 00:17:35,497 Friends don't do that to each other. 322 00:17:36,238 --> 00:17:37,762 Oh. 323 00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:39,700 All right, noted. 324 00:17:41,577 --> 00:17:44,512 - Sorry. - "Sorry"? That's all you can say is "sorry"? 325 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,875 Take it, Raj. It's more than I've ever gotten. 326 00:17:47,049 --> 00:17:48,073 And may I point out... 327 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:51,378 ...she wouldn't have asked me to go if you weren't drunk and boring. 328 00:17:51,587 --> 00:17:54,750 - Drunk? - And boring. Her words. 329 00:17:54,923 --> 00:17:57,687 I knew it, he moves to America and becomes an alcoholic. 330 00:17:57,860 --> 00:17:59,487 I'm not an alcoholic. 331 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:01,288 Then why were you drunk? 332 00:18:01,463 --> 00:18:03,363 It was just this one time, Papa, I swear. 333 00:18:03,532 --> 00:18:06,592 Are you in denial? Do we have to come over and do an intervention? 334 00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:09,203 Don 't embarrass him in front of his friends. 335 00:18:09,371 --> 00:18:11,168 All right. Carry us outside. 336 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:13,535 We want to talk to you in private. 337 00:18:14,042 --> 00:18:15,703 - But, Papa, please-- - Now, Rajesh. 338 00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,581 I have to go. 339 00:18:23,852 --> 00:18:26,980 DR. KOOTHRAPPALl: Now, listen to me-- - At least wait till I get into the hall. 340 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,584 Okay, well, good night. 341 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:34,289 Hold on. 342 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,994 What happened with you and Lalita? 343 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:40,761 We ate, she lectured me on the link between gum disease and heart attacks... 344 00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:43,837 ...nothing I didn't already know, and I came home. 345 00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:46,600 So you're not gonna see her again? 346 00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,402 Why would I see her again? 347 00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:51,045 I already have a dentist. 348 00:18:55,851 --> 00:18:59,753 I wonder who's gonna tell his parents that they're not having grandchildren. 349 00:19:20,943 --> 00:19:23,207 I don't believe it. What's gotten into him? 350 00:19:23,378 --> 00:19:28,406 Oh, maybe a couple of virgin Cuba Libres that turned out to be kind of slutty. 351 00:19:29,551 --> 00:19:30,575 You didn't. 352 00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,982 Hey, you do your experiments, I do mine.