1 00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:05,210 On the other hand, some physicists are concerned that if this supercollider works... 2 00:00:05,388 --> 00:00:09,290 ...it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, ending life as we know it. 3 00:00:09,459 --> 00:00:11,484 What a bunch of crybabies. 4 00:00:11,661 --> 00:00:13,925 No guts, no glory, man. 5 00:00:14,364 --> 00:00:15,854 Hey, check it out. 6 00:00:16,032 --> 00:00:19,058 The School of Pharmacology is looking for volunteers. 7 00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:21,703 "We are testing a new medication for social anxiety... 8 00:00:21,871 --> 00:00:26,638 ...panic attacks, agoraphobia and obsessive-compulsive disorder." 9 00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,774 Why would they be looking for test subjects here? 10 00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:32,376 I don't know, Raj. 11 00:00:32,549 --> 00:00:35,916 Maybe the comic-book store doesn't have a bulletin board. 12 00:00:38,822 --> 00:00:41,222 - What's going on? - Shh! Hot girl in Sheldon's office. 13 00:00:42,525 --> 00:00:43,617 Sheldon's office? 14 00:00:45,695 --> 00:00:47,788 Is she lost? 15 00:00:48,264 --> 00:00:51,563 I don't think so. I followed her here from the parking lot. 16 00:00:53,570 --> 00:00:57,370 - Maybe she's his lawyer. - Well, she's free to examine my briefs. 17 00:00:57,540 --> 00:00:59,098 - Howard-- - I know, I'm disgusting. 18 00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:00,333 I should be punished. 19 00:01:00,510 --> 00:01:03,377 By her. Oh, look, I did it again. 20 00:01:03,546 --> 00:01:07,448 - Well, that should do it. - Thank you for coming by. 21 00:01:12,989 --> 00:01:14,388 Hello. 22 00:01:14,557 --> 00:01:17,993 Oh, hey, buddy. 23 00:01:19,229 --> 00:01:21,390 Buddy? 24 00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:23,930 Sorry I'm late. I'm working on a project... 25 00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:27,263 ...that may take me up on the next space shuttle. 26 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:30,338 Well, how can you be late? I wasn't expecting you at all. 27 00:01:31,241 --> 00:01:32,640 Nobody ever expects me. 28 00:01:32,809 --> 00:01:35,778 Sometimes you just look, and bam, Howard Wolowitz. 29 00:01:37,781 --> 00:01:41,342 - Sheldon, are you gonna introduce us? - Oh, all right. This is Missy. 30 00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:45,181 Missy, this is Leonard and Rajesh, and you've already met Howard. 31 00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:47,687 - It's nice to meet you. - You too, as well also. 32 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,222 Yeah. 33 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,687 So how do you two know each other? 34 00:01:53,229 --> 00:01:57,632 Oh, he once spent nine months with my legs wrapped around his head. 35 00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:02,195 Excuse me? 36 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,600 She's my twin sister. 37 00:02:03,773 --> 00:02:07,106 She thinks she's funny, but frankly, I've never been able to see it. 38 00:02:07,277 --> 00:02:10,075 That's because you have no measurable sense of humor, Shelly. 39 00:02:10,246 --> 00:02:12,737 How exactly would one measure a sense of humor? 40 00:02:12,916 --> 00:02:15,043 A humormometer? 41 00:02:17,821 --> 00:02:21,222 Well, I think you're delightfully droll. Or as the French say: 42 00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:27,719 Okay, so let me see if I got this. Leonard, Howard and-- 43 00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:30,161 I'm sorry, what was your name again? 44 00:02:56,793 --> 00:02:58,624 Rajesh. 45 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:25,183 So, Missy, what brings you all the way from Texas? 46 00:03:25,355 --> 00:03:28,153 Was it perhaps destiny? I think it was destiny. 47 00:03:28,324 --> 00:03:30,383 My friend's getting married at Disneyland. 48 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,859 Destiny, thy name is Anaheim. 49 00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:38,698 And I had to drop off some papers for Shelly to sign for my dad's estate. 50 00:03:38,868 --> 00:03:42,360 The papers could've been mailed. Mom sent you here to spy on me, didn't she? 51 00:03:42,538 --> 00:03:44,836 I guess that's why they call you a genius. 52 00:03:45,008 --> 00:03:47,670 They call me a genius because I'm a genius. 53 00:03:48,544 --> 00:03:51,172 Tell Mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds... 54 00:03:51,347 --> 00:03:54,510 ...and that I'm having regular bowel movements. 55 00:03:54,684 --> 00:03:56,379 Enjoy the wedding. Goodbye. 56 00:03:56,719 --> 00:03:58,482 - Whoa, whoa. - Whoa, whoa. 57 00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,587 If the wedding's not till tomorrow, why don't you stay with us tonight? 58 00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:05,728 Oh, I don't think so. Shelly doesn't like company. 59 00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:09,695 Even as a little boy, he'd send his imaginary friends home at the end of the day. 60 00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:13,260 They were not friends. They were imaginary colleagues. 61 00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:16,568 Look, you're here, and we have plenty of room. 62 00:04:16,739 --> 00:04:20,470 - No, we don't. - Come on, Shelly, she's family. 63 00:04:20,643 --> 00:04:24,079 So what? I don't issue invitations to your mother. 64 00:04:24,547 --> 00:04:27,414 It would be nice not to have to drive to Anaheim in rush hour. 65 00:04:27,583 --> 00:04:29,608 And don't ever call me Shelly. 66 00:04:29,786 --> 00:04:32,050 So it's settled. You'll stay with us. 67 00:04:32,221 --> 00:04:35,657 I'll walk you to your car. You're in Structure 3, Level C, right? 68 00:04:39,429 --> 00:04:41,761 What just happened? 69 00:04:43,266 --> 00:04:44,893 So anyway, we're 8 years old... 70 00:04:45,068 --> 00:04:49,437 ...and Sheldon converts my Easy-Bake Oven to some kind of high-powered furnace. 71 00:04:49,605 --> 00:04:52,438 That's just classic. 72 00:04:52,842 --> 00:04:55,640 I needed a place to fire ceramic semiconductor substrates... 73 00:04:55,812 --> 00:04:57,837 ...for homemade integrated circuits. 74 00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:01,711 He was trying to build some sort of armed robot to keep me out of his room. 75 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:05,581 Made necessary by her insistence on going into my room. 76 00:05:05,755 --> 00:05:09,020 Anyway, I make those little muffins they give you. There's a big flash. 77 00:05:09,192 --> 00:05:11,854 Next thing you know, my eyebrows are gone. 78 00:05:12,996 --> 00:05:15,521 Not your eyebrows? 79 00:05:15,698 --> 00:05:18,030 Yep, I had to go through the entire second grade... 80 00:05:18,201 --> 00:05:20,795 ...with crooked eyebrows my mom drew on. 81 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,961 Is that what that was? I just assumed... 82 00:05:23,139 --> 00:05:25,630 ...that the second-grade curriculum had rendered you quizzical. 83 00:05:28,945 --> 00:05:33,279 Hey, Leonard, you left your underwear in the drier downstairs. 84 00:05:35,385 --> 00:05:37,182 Pfft. 85 00:05:38,955 --> 00:05:40,320 Those are not mine. 86 00:05:41,724 --> 00:05:45,285 Really? They have your little name label in them. 87 00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:48,623 Oh, yeah, no, I use those... 88 00:05:48,798 --> 00:05:53,132 ...just to polish up my spearfishing equipment. 89 00:05:54,470 --> 00:05:55,960 I spearfish. 90 00:05:59,642 --> 00:06:02,338 When I'm not crossbow hunting, I spearfish. 91 00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:08,472 Penny, this is Sheldon's twin sister. Missy, this is our neighbor Penny. 92 00:06:08,651 --> 00:06:10,676 - Hi. - Wow, you don't look that much alike. 93 00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:13,378 Can I get a hallelujah? 94 00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:16,081 Fraternal twins come from two separate eggs. 95 00:06:16,259 --> 00:06:18,489 They are no more alike than any other siblings. 96 00:06:18,661 --> 00:06:20,526 Hallelujah. 97 00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:22,254 Hey, guess what. 98 00:06:22,432 --> 00:06:24,696 I've been accepted as a test subject for a drug... 99 00:06:24,867 --> 00:06:27,028 ...to overcome pathological shyness. 100 00:06:27,203 --> 00:06:30,297 - Oh, good for you, Raj. - Yes, I'm very hopeful. 101 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,100 Hello, Missy. 102 00:06:41,784 --> 00:06:44,218 They mentioned there may be side effects. 103 00:06:46,255 --> 00:06:47,847 So, Missy... 104 00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:52,427 ...have you ever met a man from the exotic subcontinent of India? 105 00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:57,398 - Well, there's Dr. Patel at our church. - Yes, Patel. Good man. 106 00:06:57,567 --> 00:07:00,627 Do you like motorcycles? Because I ride a hog. 107 00:07:01,304 --> 00:07:04,705 A hog? You have a two-cylinder scooter with a basket in the front. 108 00:07:06,476 --> 00:07:09,809 You still have to wear a helmet. 109 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:13,314 - Have you ever heard of the Kama Sutra? - The sex book. 110 00:07:13,483 --> 00:07:15,451 The Indian sex book. 111 00:07:15,618 --> 00:07:19,315 In other words, if you wonder, wonder who wrote the book of love... 112 00:07:19,489 --> 00:07:21,252 ...it was us. 113 00:07:22,592 --> 00:07:26,187 - So Sheldon's sister is pretty cute, huh? - I wasn't staring. 114 00:07:27,797 --> 00:07:30,823 I didn't say you were. I just said she was cute. 115 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,467 Oh. Eh.... 116 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:36,935 Maybe. If you like women who are tall. 117 00:07:37,607 --> 00:07:39,734 And perfect. 118 00:07:41,777 --> 00:07:44,007 Sheldon, why are you ignoring your sister? 119 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:48,173 I'm not ignoring my sister. I'm ignoring all of you. 120 00:07:48,351 --> 00:07:49,841 I brought snacks. 121 00:07:50,019 --> 00:07:53,511 Oh, my. Gherkins and.... 122 00:07:54,023 --> 00:07:56,184 Onion dip. It's onion dip. 123 00:07:58,661 --> 00:08:01,221 We don't entertain much. 124 00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:05,797 Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas? 125 00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:09,165 - I guess. - Yeah, we Indians invented them. 126 00:08:09,705 --> 00:08:11,536 You're welcome. 127 00:08:12,542 --> 00:08:15,511 Yeah, well, my people invented circumcision. 128 00:08:20,016 --> 00:08:21,506 You're welcome. 129 00:08:23,152 --> 00:08:25,780 Missy, I'm gonna go get my nails done. Do you wanna come? 130 00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:28,219 God, yes. Thanks. 131 00:08:28,391 --> 00:08:30,222 You're welcome. 132 00:08:30,993 --> 00:08:32,392 - Bye, guys. - Bye, Missy. 133 00:08:32,562 --> 00:08:33,722 Bye, Missy, see you. 134 00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:37,093 - Goodbye, Leonard. - Yeah, no, bye, Penny. 135 00:08:38,668 --> 00:08:41,603 - You two have to back off. - Why should I back off? You back off. 136 00:08:41,771 --> 00:08:44,968 Excuse me, this is my apartment, and she's my roommate's sister. 137 00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,575 - So what? You've got Penny. - How do I have Penny? 138 00:08:47,743 --> 00:08:49,802 In what universe do I have Penny? 139 00:08:51,013 --> 00:08:53,481 - So I can have Penny? - Hell, no. 140 00:08:54,650 --> 00:08:57,585 Excuse me, can I interject something? 141 00:08:58,421 --> 00:09:01,686 I'm ordering pizza online. Is everyone okay with pepperoni? 142 00:09:03,759 --> 00:09:07,024 - Sheldon, can I talk to you in private? - I guess. 143 00:09:07,563 --> 00:09:09,861 Don't worry, I was going to order you cheese-less. 144 00:09:10,032 --> 00:09:11,363 - Thank you. - It's okay. 145 00:09:11,534 --> 00:09:14,503 Lactose intolerance is nothing to be embarrassed about. 146 00:09:16,339 --> 00:09:19,331 I'm a fancy Indian man. We invented pajamas. 147 00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,806 Hey, look at me, I don't have a foreskin. 148 00:09:29,952 --> 00:09:31,613 Sheldon. 149 00:09:33,556 --> 00:09:36,855 Are you aware that your sister is an incredibly attractive woman? 150 00:09:38,094 --> 00:09:39,459 Hm. 151 00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:44,032 She has the symmetry and low body fat that Western culture deems desirable. 152 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:46,464 It's noteworthy that at other points in history... 153 00:09:46,636 --> 00:09:51,573 ...heavier women were the standard for beauty because girth suggested affluence. 154 00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:54,069 - That's fascinating-- - I didn't say fascinating. 155 00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:55,710 I said it was noteworthy. 156 00:09:56,579 --> 00:09:59,241 All right. Noted. 157 00:09:59,415 --> 00:10:03,044 But my point is that Koothrappali and Wolowitz.... 158 00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:07,087 They're hitting on your sister. Ugh. It's.... 159 00:10:07,990 --> 00:10:12,484 Oh. Okay. You know, I don't want to criticize your rhetorical style... 160 00:10:12,662 --> 00:10:15,062 ...but we'd be further along in this conversation... 161 00:10:15,231 --> 00:10:17,222 ...if you'd begun with that thought. 162 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,965 That's great, but-- 163 00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:22,229 We took quite a detour from what I understand to be your thesis. 164 00:10:22,405 --> 00:10:23,963 Whatever. 165 00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:27,807 - You have to do something about it. - Why? 166 00:10:27,977 --> 00:10:29,740 Because she's your sister. 167 00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:32,641 I don't understand. 168 00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:35,215 Yes, we shared a uterus for nine months. 169 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,615 But since then, we've pretty much gone our own separate ways. 170 00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:41,790 Okay, consider this. 171 00:10:41,957 --> 00:10:45,518 With your father gone, it is your responsibility... 172 00:10:45,695 --> 00:10:48,994 ...to make sure that Missy chooses a suitable mate. 173 00:10:50,766 --> 00:10:53,098 I hadn't considered that. 174 00:10:53,369 --> 00:10:55,098 We do share DNA. 175 00:10:55,271 --> 00:10:57,364 So there is the possibility, however remote... 176 00:10:57,540 --> 00:11:00,941 ...that resting in her loins is the potential for another individual... 177 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:03,874 ...as remarkable as myself. 178 00:11:04,046 --> 00:11:09,040 Exactly. And you owe it to yourself and to posterity... 179 00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:13,120 ...to protect the genetic integrity of your sister's future offspring. 180 00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:18,787 You're right. If someone wants to get at Missy's fallopian tubes... 181 00:11:18,961 --> 00:11:21,259 ...they'll have to go through me. 182 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:34,733 I am Shiva, the destroyer. I will have the woman. 183 00:11:35,644 --> 00:11:39,580 I'm warning you. I was judo champion at math camp. 184 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,008 All right. That's enough juvenile squabbling. 185 00:11:42,184 --> 00:11:44,243 You stop it. You stop it, I say. 186 00:11:45,554 --> 00:11:47,647 I'm gonna settle this right now. 187 00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:50,257 Neither of you are good enough for my sister. 188 00:11:50,426 --> 00:11:52,018 Who are you to decide that? 189 00:11:52,194 --> 00:11:54,890 He's the man of his family. You have to respect his wishes. 190 00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:57,658 - You're out too, by the way. - Say what? 191 00:11:57,833 --> 00:12:00,165 Nothing personal. I'd prefer my niece or nephew... 192 00:12:00,336 --> 00:12:03,931 ...didn't become flatulent every time they ate an Eskimo Pie. 193 00:12:10,246 --> 00:12:13,079 - What are you so happy about? - I'm not happy. 194 00:12:13,249 --> 00:12:16,241 It's the medication. I can't stop smiling. 195 00:12:23,626 --> 00:12:26,857 Now that Leonard's made me aware of how high the genetic stakes are... 196 00:12:27,029 --> 00:12:30,396 ...we have to face the fact that none of you are suitable for my sister. 197 00:12:30,566 --> 00:12:34,127 Wait a minute, Leonard made you aware of that? 198 00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:37,505 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 199 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,673 Excuse me, but I think you're missing a big opportunity here. 200 00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,004 - How so? - Everybody knows genetic diversity... 201 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,010 ...produces the strongest offspring. 202 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,776 Why not put a little mocha in the family latte? 203 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:52,945 In principle, you have a point. 204 00:12:53,122 --> 00:12:57,081 But as a practical matter, need I remind you it takes experimental pharmaceuticals... 205 00:12:57,259 --> 00:13:00,820 ...to simply enable you to speak to the opposite sex? 206 00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,727 I think you're focusing entirely too much on the drugs. 207 00:13:10,105 --> 00:13:11,265 Is it because I'm Jewish? 208 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,932 Because I'd kill my rabbi with a pork chop to be with your sister. 209 00:13:21,484 --> 00:13:23,213 This has nothing to do with religion. 210 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:25,853 This has to do with the fact that you're a tiny man... 211 00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:28,046 ...who still lives with his mother. 212 00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:32,289 - Sheldon, you are really being unreasonable. - Am I? 213 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:36,528 Here. Eat this cheese without farting, and you can sleep with my sister. 214 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:39,691 Oh, really? 215 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:45,263 Oops. 216 00:13:46,442 --> 00:13:49,309 Shelly, can I speak to you for a minute? Alone. 217 00:13:50,513 --> 00:13:52,777 Why does everyone suddenly wanna talk to me alone? 218 00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:55,940 Usually nobody wants to be alone with me. 219 00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:04,181 We all make mistakes. Let's move on. 220 00:14:05,861 --> 00:14:07,260 Okay. 221 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:11,024 I'm not even gonna ask why you're pimping me out for cheese... 222 00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:15,098 ...but since when do you care at all about who I sleep with? 223 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,432 Truthfully, I've never given it any thought... 224 00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:21,167 ...but it has been pointed out to me that you carry DNA of great potential. 225 00:14:21,343 --> 00:14:24,073 - What on earth are you talking about? - Let me explain. 226 00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:27,647 You see, I'm a superior genetic mutation... 227 00:14:27,816 --> 00:14:30,683 ...an improvement on the existing mediocre stock. 228 00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:35,116 And what do you mean, "mediocre stock"? 229 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,383 That would be you. 230 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,225 But residing within you is the potential for another me. 231 00:14:41,397 --> 00:14:44,594 Perhaps even taller, smarter and less prone to freckling. 232 00:14:44,767 --> 00:14:48,259 A Sheldon 2.0, if you will. 233 00:14:48,771 --> 00:14:51,604 - Sheldon 2.0? - Exactly. 234 00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:55,505 Now, I am not saying that I should be the sole decider of who you mate with. 235 00:14:55,678 --> 00:14:59,239 If you're not attracted, then the likelihood of conception will be reduced. 236 00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:01,883 - You have got to be kidding me. - Not at all. 237 00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:05,316 Frequent coitus dramatically increases the odds of fertilization. 238 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:09,423 Okay, Shelly, sit down. 239 00:15:11,927 --> 00:15:15,522 Now, I've lived my whole life dealing with the fact that my twin brother is... 240 00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:19,657 ...as Mom puts it, one of God's special little people. 241 00:15:20,569 --> 00:15:22,867 I always thought I was more like a cuckoo bird. 242 00:15:23,038 --> 00:15:27,099 A superior creature whose egg is placed in the nest of ordinary birds. 243 00:15:27,276 --> 00:15:29,335 The newly hatched cuckoo eats all the food... 244 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:32,537 ...leaving the ordinary siblings to starve to death. 245 00:15:33,148 --> 00:15:35,946 Luckily for you, that's where the metaphor ended. 246 00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:39,781 I thought it ended at cuckoo. 247 00:15:42,157 --> 00:15:43,454 Now, you listen to me. 248 00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:46,857 If you wanna start acting like a brother who cares about me, terrific. 249 00:15:47,229 --> 00:15:48,696 Bring it on. 250 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:51,799 But you try one time to tell me who I should be sleeping with... 251 00:15:51,967 --> 00:15:56,734 ...and you and I are gonna go round the way we did when we were little. Remember? 252 00:16:00,275 --> 00:16:02,539 - I have an alternate proposal. - Go on. 253 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:06,238 You donate eggs. We will place them in cryogenic storage. 254 00:16:06,415 --> 00:16:09,350 I will find an appropriate sperm donor for your eggs... 255 00:16:09,518 --> 00:16:12,009 ...have them fertilized and implanted in you. 256 00:16:12,187 --> 00:16:13,484 That way, everybody wins. 257 00:16:22,931 --> 00:16:26,799 Correction. Missy can date whoever she wants. 258 00:16:28,504 --> 00:16:31,064 - Look, we have to settle this. - I agree. 259 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,869 Sheldon's sister is hiding at Penny's because we've all been hitting on her. 260 00:16:35,044 --> 00:16:39,344 She's not hiding. She needed to call her grandmother, who's apparently very sick. 261 00:16:39,515 --> 00:16:42,245 Oh, and then I believe she has to wash her hair. 262 00:16:42,951 --> 00:16:45,511 Oh, you poor deluded bastard. 263 00:16:45,688 --> 00:16:47,883 - Don't start with me, dude. - You wanna go again? 264 00:16:48,057 --> 00:16:50,025 - Sit down. - Okay. 265 00:16:50,859 --> 00:16:53,555 If we're gonna fight over Missy, let's do it the right way. 266 00:16:53,729 --> 00:16:55,219 The honorable way. 267 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,625 Ow! Ow, ow, ow. 268 00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:58,562 Take that. 269 00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:00,429 You want some more? 270 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,671 And he's down. 271 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:08,435 One, two, three, four-- 272 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:11,170 - Come on, come on! Get up. - Stay down, bitch. 273 00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:14,907 Seven, eight, nine, 10. 274 00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:19,051 Yeah! Natural selection at work. 275 00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:21,485 I weep for humanity. 276 00:17:21,657 --> 00:17:24,990 Excuse me while I go tell Missy the good news. 277 00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:33,034 - Hey. - Hi, Penny, how's it going? 278 00:17:33,202 --> 00:17:35,898 That guy Mike that you were dating, is that still going on? 279 00:17:36,071 --> 00:17:37,732 - Pretty much, why? - Just catching up. 280 00:17:37,906 --> 00:17:40,272 By the way, may I speak to Missy, please? 281 00:17:41,510 --> 00:17:43,603 Of course. 282 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:45,874 Hi, Leonard, what's up? 283 00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:50,109 Well, since you're leaving, I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner with me. 284 00:17:50,285 --> 00:17:52,378 That's so sweet. But no, thanks. 285 00:17:54,223 --> 00:17:55,485 Oh. 286 00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,217 - Do you have other plans or--? - No. 287 00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:03,264 All right. 288 00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:08,694 - Enjoy the rest of your evening. - Thanks, I'll see you. 289 00:18:14,443 --> 00:18:18,243 Um, here's something we didn't anticipate. 290 00:18:23,752 --> 00:18:28,451 - What do you want, Howard? - I'm fine. Thanks for asking. 291 00:18:29,224 --> 00:18:30,919 I've come to call on Missy. 292 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,828 Missy. 293 00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:38,633 - Hi, Howard. - The Amazing Howard. 294 00:18:39,434 --> 00:18:42,096 - Do you like magic? - Not really, no. 295 00:18:43,405 --> 00:18:45,373 Then you are in for a treat. 296 00:18:47,342 --> 00:18:50,573 Behold, an ordinary cane. 297 00:18:54,950 --> 00:18:56,884 Ta-da. 298 00:18:58,487 --> 00:18:59,954 No. 299 00:19:00,989 --> 00:19:02,650 Okay. 300 00:19:19,675 --> 00:19:21,540 Missy. 301 00:19:22,678 --> 00:19:25,408 Thank you, I apprec-- 302 00:19:26,815 --> 00:19:28,806 Apprec-- 303 00:19:29,418 --> 00:19:31,511 Appre-- 304 00:19:31,687 --> 00:19:32,813 Uh-oh. 305 00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:35,650 Oh, honey, is your medication wearing off? 306 00:19:39,194 --> 00:19:43,255 Well, hi, cutie pie. I was hoping you'd show up. 307 00:20:11,126 --> 00:20:13,424 We had a dog who made a noise like that. 308 00:20:13,595 --> 00:20:15,586 Had to put him down. 309 00:20:19,835 --> 00:20:22,395 Any news you want me to pass along to Mom? 310 00:20:22,571 --> 00:20:25,904 Well, she might be interested to know that I've refocused my research... 311 00:20:26,074 --> 00:20:29,134 ...from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory. 312 00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:32,442 Yeah, I'll just tell her you said, "Hey." 313 00:20:34,249 --> 00:20:36,717 Okay. Well, it was pleasant seeing you. 314 00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:40,150 Other than that business with my testicles. 315 00:20:41,390 --> 00:20:42,823 Come on, Shelly. 316 00:20:49,097 --> 00:20:51,190 I want you to know I'm very proud of you. 317 00:20:51,366 --> 00:20:52,628 - Really? - Yep. 318 00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:56,794 I'm always bragging to my friends about my brother, the rocket scientist. 319 00:20:57,306 --> 00:20:59,934 You tell people I'm a rocket scientist? 320 00:21:01,143 --> 00:21:04,203 - Well, yeah. - I'm a theoretical physicist. 321 00:21:04,379 --> 00:21:08,076 - What's the difference? - What's the difference? 322 00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:12,584 - Goodbye, Shelly. - My God. 323 00:21:12,754 --> 00:21:16,781 Why don't you just tell them that I'm a toll taker at the Golden Gate Bridge? 324 00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:22,357 A rocket scientist, how humiliating.