1 00:00:01,684 --> 00:00:04,099 So two years later, there's a knock on the door. 2 00:00:04,224 --> 00:00:05,922 Guy opens it, and there is the snail, 3 00:00:06,243 --> 00:00:08,573 who says, "What the heck was all that about?" 4 00:00:11,668 --> 00:00:13,304 I don't really get it. 5 00:00:14,793 --> 00:00:17,733 Well, see, it took two years for the snail to... 6 00:00:20,951 --> 00:00:22,244 Not important. 7 00:00:23,885 --> 00:00:25,692 - Can I ask you a question? - Sure. 8 00:00:26,076 --> 00:00:28,023 Where do you think this is going? 9 00:00:29,391 --> 00:00:31,781 To be honest, I was hoping at least second base. 10 00:00:33,746 --> 00:00:34,784 You're so funny. 11 00:00:35,871 --> 00:00:37,648 You're like a stand-up comedian. 12 00:00:39,117 --> 00:00:41,577 A Jewish stand-up comedian, that'd be new. 13 00:00:43,303 --> 00:00:45,823 Actually, I think a lot of them are Jewish. 14 00:00:47,571 --> 00:00:49,966 No, I was just... Never mind. 15 00:00:51,322 --> 00:00:53,385 Look, Howard, this is our third date 16 00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:55,388 and we both know what that means. 17 00:00:55,987 --> 00:00:56,987 We do? 18 00:00:57,362 --> 00:00:58,141 Sex. 19 00:01:00,884 --> 00:01:02,028 You're kidding. 20 00:01:03,393 --> 00:01:05,260 But I need to know whether you're looking 21 00:01:05,385 --> 00:01:08,066 for a relationship or a one-night stand. 22 00:01:09,003 --> 00:01:12,030 Just to be clear: there's only one correct answer, right? 23 00:01:12,749 --> 00:01:15,389 It's not like "chicken or fish" on an airplane? 24 00:01:16,086 --> 00:01:17,994 Maybe you need to think about it a little. 25 00:01:19,009 --> 00:01:20,321 It's not unheard of 26 00:01:20,446 --> 00:01:22,999 for a one-night stand to turn into a relationship. 27 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,077 Call me when you figure it out. 28 00:01:31,703 --> 00:01:34,113 Three dates means sex? 29 00:01:38,338 --> 00:01:39,338 Who knew? 30 00:01:43,461 --> 00:01:44,678 Greetings, homies. 31 00:01:45,932 --> 00:01:46,932 Homette. 32 00:01:47,995 --> 00:01:49,776 Why are you back from your date so early? 33 00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:52,569 In romance, as in show business, 34 00:01:52,694 --> 00:01:54,971 always leave them wanting more. 35 00:01:57,316 --> 00:01:58,694 What exactly does that mean? 36 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,007 He struck out. 37 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,791 Episode 309: The Vengeance Formulation 38 00:02:04,911 --> 00:02:06,164 Sync: Jess, Lin 39 00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:23,582 www.subbercafe.fr 40 00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:30,443 Did either of you guys know that three dates with the same woman 41 00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:32,359 is the threshold for sex? 42 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:35,279 I've never had three dates with the same woman. 43 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:38,530 With Penny and me, it took two years. 44 00:02:39,444 --> 00:02:42,098 Now that I think about it, that was three dates. 45 00:02:43,850 --> 00:02:45,692 Before you and Penny hooked up, 46 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,083 did she ask for any kind of commitment? 47 00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:51,843 No, she was pretty clear about wanting to keep her options open. 48 00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:55,507 I have something to announce, 49 00:02:55,677 --> 00:02:57,881 but out of respect for convention, I will wait for you 50 00:02:58,006 --> 00:02:59,945 to finish your current conversation. 51 00:03:00,070 --> 00:03:01,347 What are you talking about? 52 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,502 The cultural paradigm in which people have sex 53 00:03:03,627 --> 00:03:04,767 after three dates. 54 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,935 I see. 55 00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:08,567 Now, are we talking "date" the social interaction, 56 00:03:08,692 --> 00:03:10,499 or "date" the dried fruit? 57 00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:15,254 Never mind, what's your announcement? 58 00:03:15,781 --> 00:03:18,317 Oh, good, my turn. Well, this is very exciting 59 00:03:18,442 --> 00:03:20,560 and I wanted you to be among the first to know... 60 00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:24,287 I hear you're going to be on the radio with Ira Flatow from Science Friday. 61 00:03:25,441 --> 00:03:27,941 Thank you, Kripke, for depriving me of the opportunity 62 00:03:28,066 --> 00:03:30,125 to share my news with my friends. 63 00:03:30,381 --> 00:03:31,448 My pleasure. 64 00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:33,963 My "thank you" was not sincere. 65 00:03:34,621 --> 00:03:36,090 But "my pleasure" is. 66 00:03:37,365 --> 00:03:38,795 Let me ask you a question: 67 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,278 At what point did National Public Radio 68 00:03:41,403 --> 00:03:44,265 have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel for its guests? 69 00:03:45,448 --> 00:03:47,142 Don't answer. It's rhetorical. 70 00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:50,771 Why are you such a stupid head? 71 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,037 That is also rhetorical. 72 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,898 I'm sorry you had to hear that. 73 00:03:58,624 --> 00:04:00,281 Are you really going to be on NPR? 74 00:04:00,504 --> 00:04:03,317 Yes, they're interviewing me by phone from my office, 75 00:04:03,442 --> 00:04:05,344 regarding the recent so-called "discovery" 76 00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:07,682 of magnetic monopoles in spin-ices. 77 00:04:08,018 --> 00:04:10,290 It's pledge week and they're trying to goose the ratings 78 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:11,918 with a little controversy. 79 00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,587 Very cool, congratulations. 80 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,814 Thank you. My mother is very excited. 81 00:04:16,939 --> 00:04:19,439 She's convening her Bible study group to listen in, 82 00:04:19,564 --> 00:04:21,434 and then pray for my soul. 83 00:04:23,186 --> 00:04:24,501 I was on the radio once. 84 00:04:24,626 --> 00:04:26,780 I called in to Fever 104 FM New Delhi 85 00:04:26,905 --> 00:04:29,779 and was the fourth person to say the phrase that pays: 86 00:04:29,998 --> 00:04:32,730 "Fever 104, aajke naye acchha sangeetka ghar." 87 00:04:35,553 --> 00:04:37,438 That means: "Fever 104, 88 00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:39,695 home of the really good current music." 89 00:04:42,766 --> 00:04:44,412 It's much catchier in Hindi. 90 00:04:46,643 --> 00:04:48,047 All right. 91 00:04:48,172 --> 00:04:49,812 These are the talking points 92 00:04:49,937 --> 00:04:52,540 for my NPR interview tomorrow. 93 00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:54,438 I need to make sure they're simple enough 94 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:57,272 for the less educated in the audience to understand. 95 00:04:58,686 --> 00:05:01,384 Howard, look this over and tell me what's unclear to you. 96 00:05:01,812 --> 00:05:03,937 Excuse me, I have a master's degree in engineering 97 00:05:04,062 --> 00:05:06,061 from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. 98 00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:08,565 It required the completion of 144 units of grad work 99 00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,184 and an original thesis. 100 00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,147 Look this over and tell me what's unclear to you. 101 00:05:17,596 --> 00:05:20,355 When Sheldon gives you homework, you don't have to do it. 102 00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:25,067 In fact, it's better if you don't, or it makes the rest of us look bad. 103 00:05:28,811 --> 00:05:29,745 Talk to me. 104 00:05:38,297 --> 00:05:39,796 I'm sorry, just screwing with you. 105 00:05:42,999 --> 00:05:45,260 Why haven't you called Bernadette? 106 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:46,747 Did she say something? 107 00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:49,598 She said she hasn't heard from you in a week. I thought you liked her? 108 00:05:50,249 --> 00:05:52,185 I do, but she wants a commitment 109 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,434 and I'm not sure she's my type. 110 00:05:54,605 --> 00:05:57,667 She agreed to go out with you for free. What more do you need? 111 00:05:58,185 --> 00:06:00,124 Look, Bernadette is really nice. 112 00:06:00,249 --> 00:06:02,373 I just always thought when I finally settle down 113 00:06:02,498 --> 00:06:04,865 into a relationship, it would be with someone, 114 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:06,324 you know, different. 115 00:06:06,749 --> 00:06:07,950 Different how? 116 00:06:08,277 --> 00:06:11,912 Well, you know, more like Megan Fox from Transformers. 117 00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:16,041 Or Katee Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica. 118 00:06:16,884 --> 00:06:17,926 Are you high? 119 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:21,901 You'd have a better shot with the 3-breasted Martian hooker 120 00:06:22,026 --> 00:06:23,340 from Total Recall. 121 00:06:25,536 --> 00:06:27,694 Okay, now you're just being unrealistic. 122 00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:32,223 Anyway, that movie was 20 years ago. Imagine how saggy those thing would be. 123 00:06:36,518 --> 00:06:39,165 Howard, you're going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette 124 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:41,817 because you're holding out for some ridiculous fantasy? 125 00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:45,570 Hey, just because you settled doesn't mean I have to. 126 00:06:47,463 --> 00:06:49,285 Excuse me, I'm sitting here. 127 00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,531 Hey, I did not settle for Leonard. 128 00:06:52,656 --> 00:06:56,230 I mean, obviously, he isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with... 129 00:06:57,031 --> 00:06:58,581 you know, physically. 130 00:07:00,206 --> 00:07:01,336 Again, I'm right here. 131 00:07:02,559 --> 00:07:06,341 I do not judge a book by its cover. I'm interested in the person underneath. 132 00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:08,510 I am here, right? You see me. 133 00:07:15,388 --> 00:07:18,370 I'm interested in what's inside people, too, 134 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,327 but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up 135 00:07:21,452 --> 00:07:24,525 in, say, the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry? 136 00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,795 Yes, you're delicious caramel, too. 137 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,623 - I will tell you why it's wrong... - Excuse me, may I interject? 138 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:38,623 What? 139 00:07:39,012 --> 00:07:40,578 Biologically speaking, 140 00:07:40,703 --> 00:07:43,515 Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate 141 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,839 for the propagation of his genetic line. 142 00:07:46,828 --> 00:07:48,174 Thank you, Sheldon. 143 00:07:48,677 --> 00:07:52,220 Whether it's in the interest of humanity is an entirely different question. 144 00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:59,264 This is Ira Flatow and you're listening to NPR's Science Friday. 145 00:08:00,144 --> 00:08:03,840 Joining us today by phone from his office in Pasadena, California, 146 00:08:03,965 --> 00:08:05,733 is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. 147 00:08:06,150 --> 00:08:07,789 This is gonna be a riot. 148 00:08:11,188 --> 00:08:13,482 Thanks for being with us today, Dr. Cooper. 149 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,115 My pleasure, Ira. 150 00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:18,628 Now, let's talk about magnetic monopoles. 151 00:08:18,753 --> 00:08:22,857 Can you explain to our audience just what a monopole is? 152 00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:24,044 Of course. 153 00:08:24,727 --> 00:08:28,392 First, consider an ordinary magnet which has, 154 00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:31,592 as even the most uneducated in your audience must know, 155 00:08:31,717 --> 00:08:32,876 two poles. 156 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,156 A north and south pole. 157 00:08:38,238 --> 00:08:41,328 If you cut that in half, you have two smaller magnets, 158 00:08:41,453 --> 00:08:44,064 each with its own north and south pole. 159 00:08:44,953 --> 00:08:48,610 Dr. Cooper, I think there might be something wrong with our connection. 160 00:08:49,064 --> 00:08:50,868 No, I hear you fine. 161 00:08:52,143 --> 00:08:53,401 As I was saying, 162 00:08:53,526 --> 00:08:56,143 an ordinary magnet has two poles. 163 00:08:56,268 --> 00:08:58,620 The primary characteristic of a monopole 164 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:02,139 is that it has only one pole, hence, monopole. 165 00:09:04,205 --> 00:09:05,877 A requirement for string theory, 166 00:09:06,273 --> 00:09:07,837 or M-theory, if you will, 167 00:09:08,049 --> 00:09:10,093 is the existence of such monopoles. 168 00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:12,884 I, myself, led an expedition 169 00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:15,080 to the Arctic Circle in search of said particles. 170 00:09:15,205 --> 00:09:17,389 Kripke, I found the nozzle! I'm going to kill you! 171 00:09:24,601 --> 00:09:26,551 So nice you could join me this evening. 172 00:09:26,853 --> 00:09:28,567 You're looking lovely as always. 173 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:31,603 Thanks, Howard. 174 00:09:31,728 --> 00:09:34,552 Always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies. 175 00:09:36,541 --> 00:09:39,116 Come on, Katee. Don't make it sound so cheap. 176 00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:41,540 Sorry, fiddling with yourself in the bathtub 177 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:43,469 is a real class act. 178 00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:46,728 Thank you. 179 00:09:47,404 --> 00:09:49,968 So, shall we get started? 180 00:09:52,103 --> 00:09:53,103 Sure. 181 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:55,039 But can I ask you a question first? 182 00:09:55,221 --> 00:09:57,114 Do you want to play Cylon and colonist? 183 00:09:57,668 --> 00:10:00,312 No, I want to know why you're playing make-believe with me 184 00:10:00,437 --> 00:10:02,518 when you could be out with a real woman tonight. 185 00:10:03,541 --> 00:10:04,603 Bernadette? 186 00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:06,522 No, I mean Princess Leia. 187 00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,916 Of course Bernadette. 188 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,652 She's a wonderful girl and she really likes you. 189 00:10:12,206 --> 00:10:14,238 I know, but she's not you. 190 00:10:14,790 --> 00:10:15,790 I'm not me. 191 00:10:17,286 --> 00:10:20,452 The real me is in Beverly Hills with a tall, handsome, rich guy. 192 00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:22,538 - Really? Tall? - Six-four. 193 00:10:24,943 --> 00:10:26,919 You've got a wonderful girl in your life, 194 00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,668 and you're ignoring her in order to spend your nights in the bathtub 195 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,939 with a mental image and a wash cloth. 196 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,428 What are you doing in there? 197 00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,255 I'm taking a bath! 198 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,480 I hope that's all you're doing! 199 00:10:42,605 --> 00:10:44,368 We share that tub! 200 00:10:47,004 --> 00:10:48,438 Don't remind me! 201 00:10:52,231 --> 00:10:53,231 Oh, man. 202 00:10:53,718 --> 00:10:56,377 All soaped up and no place to go. 203 00:11:04,814 --> 00:11:06,081 How ya doin', buddy? 204 00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,835 I was humiliated on national radio. How do you think I'm doing? 205 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,628 Come on, it wasn't that bad. 206 00:11:12,587 --> 00:11:13,672 What do you want? 207 00:11:13,797 --> 00:11:16,783 We represent the Lollipop Guild, and we want you. 208 00:11:22,608 --> 00:11:25,392 Okay, so Kripke played a joke on you. 209 00:11:25,561 --> 00:11:26,685 It wasn't funny. 210 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,354 I thought it was funny. 211 00:11:29,019 --> 00:11:29,938 You laughed. 212 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,774 Did you laugh? 213 00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:35,858 I fell on the floor. 214 00:11:37,824 --> 00:11:39,297 All right, he got you. 215 00:11:39,422 --> 00:11:40,741 You can get him back. 216 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,752 I refuse to sink to his level. 217 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:44,101 You can't sink. 218 00:11:44,226 --> 00:11:47,219 With all that helium in you, you're lucky you don't float away. 219 00:11:50,638 --> 00:11:52,461 Are you really admitting defeat? 220 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,879 I never admit defeat. 221 00:11:54,048 --> 00:11:55,047 Good. 222 00:11:55,216 --> 00:11:58,566 However, on an unrelated topic, I'm never getting out of this bed again. 223 00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:03,470 What if you could make Kripke look even sillier than he made you look? 224 00:12:03,595 --> 00:12:05,849 - I don't think that's possible. - You're not helping. 225 00:12:06,018 --> 00:12:08,178 I didn't come to help, I came to mock. 226 00:12:10,398 --> 00:12:12,421 What you need to do is figure out a way 227 00:12:12,546 --> 00:12:14,927 to exact vengeance on Kripke, like... 228 00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:18,735 like, how the Joker got back at Batman for putting him 229 00:12:18,860 --> 00:12:21,328 in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane. 230 00:12:21,992 --> 00:12:25,118 He didn't just talk about his feelings with the other psychotic villains. 231 00:12:25,243 --> 00:12:27,788 He broke out and poisoned Gotham's water supply. 232 00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:31,485 Well... 233 00:12:32,301 --> 00:12:34,101 I suppose I could poison Kripke. 234 00:12:35,231 --> 00:12:36,332 It's a simple matter. 235 00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:39,446 There are several toxic chemicals that'd be untraceable in an autopsy. 236 00:12:41,356 --> 00:12:43,653 Okay, uh, that's the spirit, 237 00:12:44,869 --> 00:12:48,632 but let's dial it back to a non-lethal form of vengeance. 238 00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:54,564 How about we whoopee cushion on his office chair? 239 00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:57,616 He'll sit down, it'll sound like he's flatulent, 240 00:12:57,741 --> 00:12:59,184 even though he's not. 241 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,864 Let's keep thinking. 242 00:13:08,144 --> 00:13:09,371 Gee, you're too late. 243 00:13:09,675 --> 00:13:11,441 Scarlett Johansson and Wonder Woman 244 00:13:11,566 --> 00:13:14,543 were just in here trolling around for neurotic, little weasels. 245 00:13:15,206 --> 00:13:17,504 I came to talk to Bernadette. She's working today, right? 246 00:13:18,217 --> 00:13:19,881 But I don't think she wants to see you. 247 00:13:20,051 --> 00:13:21,007 Why not? 248 00:13:21,175 --> 00:13:24,004 Come on, you hurt her feelings by not calling her all week. 249 00:13:24,393 --> 00:13:27,025 Plus, I've kind of been talkin' some smack about ya. 250 00:13:28,489 --> 00:13:29,489 Hello, Howard. 251 00:13:29,614 --> 00:13:31,643 Wait, Bernadette, I need to talk to you. 252 00:13:31,813 --> 00:13:34,612 - I can't now, I'm working. - This will only take a second. 253 00:13:34,737 --> 00:13:38,859 You asked me to think about where our relationship was going, and I did. 254 00:13:46,437 --> 00:13:47,764 Will you marry me? 255 00:13:50,139 --> 00:13:52,645 Is this more comedy that I don't understand? 256 00:13:53,864 --> 00:13:55,911 No. I'm serious. 257 00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:58,739 I'm never going to find another girl like you 258 00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:01,353 who likes me and is, you know... 259 00:14:01,638 --> 00:14:02,638 real. 260 00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:06,094 So, this isn't a joke? 261 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,048 Then you're insane. 262 00:14:10,101 --> 00:14:12,808 I prefer to think of myself as quirky. 263 00:14:13,817 --> 00:14:15,770 Howard, we've only been on three dates. 264 00:14:16,342 --> 00:14:17,898 We haven't even had sex yet. 265 00:14:18,241 --> 00:14:20,452 Fair enough. When's your break? 266 00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:28,024 Don't you just hate when this happens? 267 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:38,127 All right, how's this for revenge? 268 00:14:38,697 --> 00:14:41,013 A solution of hydrogen peroxide, 269 00:14:41,138 --> 00:14:44,374 and one of saturated potassium iodide. 270 00:14:45,117 --> 00:14:47,100 - What's this? - Mountain Dew. 271 00:14:50,804 --> 00:14:51,804 Refreshing. 272 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:54,397 Now, we're going to combine these chemicals 273 00:14:54,522 --> 00:14:55,852 with ordinary dish soap, 274 00:14:56,022 --> 00:14:59,524 creating a little exothermic release of oxygen. 275 00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:13,078 Foamy vengeance. 276 00:15:13,289 --> 00:15:14,329 Yes, exactly. 277 00:15:14,842 --> 00:15:16,521 This is brilliant, Sheldon. 278 00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:18,500 How are we gonna deploy it in Kripke's office? 279 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,272 Already taken care of. 280 00:15:20,556 --> 00:15:21,626 Observe. 281 00:15:23,119 --> 00:15:26,508 This is a live shot of Kripke's lab via a mini webcam 282 00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:29,101 I was able to install, thanks to a dollar bill 283 00:15:29,226 --> 00:15:31,513 discreetly placed in the night janitor's shirt pocket. 284 00:15:32,216 --> 00:15:33,370 At the same time, 285 00:15:33,495 --> 00:15:35,659 I also secured large quantities of these chemicals 286 00:15:35,784 --> 00:15:37,805 above the tiles in the drop ceiling. 287 00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,856 You remind me of a young Lex Luthor. 288 00:15:44,447 --> 00:15:45,871 You flatter me, sir. 289 00:15:47,056 --> 00:15:48,587 Let me guess: motion sensors? 290 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:50,713 The reaction will be triggered 291 00:15:50,838 --> 00:15:52,867 when Kripke reaches the center of the room. 292 00:15:57,840 --> 00:16:00,375 I gotta say, I am really impressed. 293 00:16:00,656 --> 00:16:03,139 This is truly the Sheldon Cooper way to get even. 294 00:16:09,587 --> 00:16:10,966 It may be low-tech, 295 00:16:11,091 --> 00:16:14,091 but I still maintain the whoopee cushion has comic validity. 296 00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:16,766 Here comes Kripke! 297 00:16:17,455 --> 00:16:18,860 Who is that with him? 298 00:16:19,202 --> 00:16:21,342 I believe that's the president of the university. 299 00:16:21,523 --> 00:16:24,316 - And the board of directors. Abort! - There is no abort. 300 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:27,806 - How could you not put in an "abort?" - I made a boo-boo, all right? 301 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:30,113 I think the board will appreciate 302 00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,965 how well we're using that NSA grant, President Seibert. 303 00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:35,423 Right here we have a micro-controlled plasma... 304 00:16:43,843 --> 00:16:45,943 Looks like the Ganges on laundry day. 305 00:16:48,589 --> 00:16:50,258 At least they don't know it was you. 306 00:16:50,967 --> 00:16:52,432 Hello, Kripke. 307 00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,764 This classic prank comes to you 308 00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:58,910 from the malevolent mind of Sheldon Cooper. 309 00:17:00,017 --> 00:17:01,465 If you'd like to see the look 310 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,770 on your stupid face, 311 00:17:02,895 --> 00:17:06,283 this video is being instantly uploaded to YouTube. 312 00:17:07,146 --> 00:17:09,486 And a hat tip to Leonard Hofstadter 313 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:11,289 and Raj Koothrappali 314 00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:15,295 for their support and encouragement in this enterprise. 315 00:17:17,966 --> 00:17:20,330 Well, I'm going back to India. What's your plan? 316 00:17:26,805 --> 00:17:28,655 Here's your tip from table seven. 317 00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:29,793 Thanks. 318 00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:30,881 Testing. Check. 319 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,051 Check two. 320 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:34,711 Now what? 321 00:17:35,034 --> 00:17:36,638 You want me to throw him out? 322 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:37,806 No, that's okay. 323 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:39,610 Are you sure? He's small. 324 00:17:40,532 --> 00:17:43,094 I bet I can get a nice, tight spiral on him. 325 00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:46,188 I want to dedicate this number 326 00:17:46,409 --> 00:17:48,830 to a great gal who I've done wrong. 327 00:17:52,408 --> 00:17:53,535 Bernadette 328 00:17:54,647 --> 00:17:56,736 I am so sorry for 329 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,661 Trying to propose to you 330 00:18:00,534 --> 00:18:01,534 Bernadette 331 00:18:02,867 --> 00:18:04,359 You found it creepy 332 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:08,069 But that's just the kind of thing I do 333 00:18:10,913 --> 00:18:14,279 I know now it was too soon to talk of love 334 00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:18,722 It was just a crazy idea that came to me in my tub 335 00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:21,637 But, Bernadette, give me one more chance 336 00:18:21,762 --> 00:18:22,976 Sweet Bernadette 337 00:18:23,144 --> 00:18:24,728 I'll get the hang of this thing 338 00:18:24,897 --> 00:18:26,730 They call romance, Sweet Bernadette 339 00:18:27,558 --> 00:18:28,939 I dream to once again 340 00:18:29,288 --> 00:18:31,448 Kiss your lips, Sweet Bernadette 341 00:18:31,771 --> 00:18:32,967 Sincerely yours 342 00:18:33,309 --> 00:18:34,866 Howard Wolowitz 343 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:39,444 Oh, I am so sorry. 344 00:18:40,078 --> 00:18:41,098 Are you kidding? 345 00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:44,121 That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me. 346 00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:48,001 Bernadette! Thank you, Cheesecake Factory!