1
00:00:02,099 --> 00:00:05,568
Oh, damn, they canceled my Visa.
2
00:00:05,569 --> 00:00:09,337
Oh, yay, a new MasterCard!
3
00:00:09,338 --> 00:00:11,506
Uh-oh.
4
00:00:11,507 --> 00:00:12,640
What?
5
00:00:12,641 --> 00:00:14,542
I was going to get my mail.
6
00:00:14,543 --> 00:00:16,343
Okay.
7
00:00:18,012 --> 00:00:21,481
Are... are you hoping to
get it telepathically?
8
00:00:21,482 --> 00:00:24,336
I think you mean telekinetically.
9
00:00:25,072 --> 00:00:26,177
And no.
10
00:00:26,178 --> 00:00:27,458
I just wasn't sure
11
00:00:27,459 --> 00:00:29,766
of the proper protocol
now that you and Leonard
12
00:00:29,767 --> 00:00:31,695
are no longer having coitus.
13
00:00:31,696 --> 00:00:35,214
God, can we please just say
"no longer seeing each other"?
14
00:00:35,215 --> 00:00:36,732
Well, we could if it were true.
15
00:00:36,733 --> 00:00:38,644
But as you live in
the same building,
16
00:00:38,645 --> 00:00:40,166
you see each other all the time.
17
00:00:40,167 --> 00:00:43,495
The variable which has
changed is the coitus.
18
00:00:43,496 --> 00:00:46,251
Okay, here's the protocol:
19
00:00:46,252 --> 00:00:48,854
you and I are still friends,
and you stop saying "coitus."
20
00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:50,588
Good, good.
21
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:52,553
I'm glad we're still friends.
22
00:00:52,554 --> 00:00:53,502
Really?
23
00:00:53,503 --> 00:00:55,398
Oh, yes. It was a lot of work
24
00:00:55,399 --> 00:00:56,846
to accommodate you in my life.
25
00:00:56,847 --> 00:01:00,201
I'd hate for that effort
to have been in vain.
26
00:01:00,202 --> 00:01:01,548
Right.
27
00:01:01,549 --> 00:01:04,008
Just to be clear, do I have to stop
28
00:01:04,009 --> 00:01:06,178
saying "coitus" with
everyone or just you?
29
00:01:06,914 --> 00:01:09,081
Everyone.
30
00:01:09,082 --> 00:01:10,594
Harsh terms.
31
00:01:10,595 --> 00:01:13,016
But all right-- I'll just
substitute "intercourse."
32
00:01:13,017 --> 00:01:14,205
Great.
33
00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:15,582
Or "fornication."
34
00:01:15,583 --> 00:01:17,704
Yeah. But that has
judgmental overtones,
35
00:01:17,705 --> 00:01:19,858
so I'll hold that in reserve.
36
00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:22,044
So, how you been?
37
00:01:22,045 --> 00:01:24,340
Well, my existence is a continuum,
38
00:01:24,575 --> 00:01:28,187
so I've been what I am at each
point in the implied time period.
39
00:01:31,038 --> 00:01:34,063
You're just coitusing with me,
aren't you?
40
00:01:36,315 --> 00:01:38,564
Bazinga. Mm-hmm.
41
00:01:39,481 --> 00:01:40,722
How's Leonard doing?
42
00:01:40,723 --> 00:01:42,164
He seems all right.
43
00:01:42,165 --> 00:01:44,853
Although he does spend a
disturbing amount of time
44
00:01:44,854 --> 00:01:46,535
looking at photographs of you
45
00:01:46,536 --> 00:01:49,925
and smelling the
pillow you slept on.
46
00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:51,405
Oh, but now that I think of it,
47
00:01:51,406 --> 00:01:54,527
he asked me not to tell you that.
48
00:01:54,528 --> 00:01:56,808
I'll pretend I didn't hear it.
49
00:01:56,809 --> 00:02:00,769
I'd rather you pretend
I didn't say it.
50
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:04,663
I see you bought Mama Italia
marinara spaghetti sauce.
51
00:02:04,664 --> 00:02:06,237
Yep.
52
00:02:06,238 --> 00:02:08,457
That's the sauce my mother uses.
53
00:02:08,458 --> 00:02:10,770
She likes cooking Italian
because according to her,
54
00:02:10,771 --> 00:02:14,456
that's what the
Romans made Jesus eat.
55
00:02:14,457 --> 00:02:15,796
Interesting.
56
00:02:15,797 --> 00:02:18,409
I'll have to have you over
for spaghetti some night.
57
00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:19,920
I'm hungry now.
58
00:02:19,921 --> 00:02:21,998
Oh. Um, okay.
59
00:02:21,999 --> 00:02:24,815
Why don't you give me
an hour and come over?
60
00:02:24,816 --> 00:02:26,960
Will you cut up hot
dogs into little chunks
61
00:02:26,961 --> 00:02:28,538
and mix them in with the sauce?
62
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:31,083
I don't have hot dogs.
63
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,593
Oh, it's all right; I do.
64
00:02:32,594 --> 00:02:36,948
Oh! You're in for what my mother
calls "a real Eye-talian treat""
65
00:02:39,998 --> 00:02:41,069
Hey, where you been?
66
00:02:41,070 --> 00:02:43,213
I was talking with Penny.
67
00:02:43,214 --> 00:02:45,023
What's wrong with you?
68
00:02:45,024 --> 00:02:47,133
You can't hang out with
your roommate's ex.
69
00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,643
That's totally uncool.
70
00:02:48,644 --> 00:02:50,719
No, it's fine. I don't care.
71
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,425
I'm over it.
72
00:02:52,426 --> 00:02:54,905
Yeah, he's over it;
that's why he's been whining all day
73
00:02:54,906 --> 00:02:56,748
about trying to invent
that memory-wiper gizmo
74
00:02:56,749 --> 00:02:58,454
from Men in Black.
75
00:02:58,455 --> 00:03:00,430
Is he making any progress?
76
00:03:00,431 --> 00:03:04,082
Because I'd like to erase
Ben Affleck as Daredevil.
77
00:03:06,997 --> 00:03:09,172
So would Ben Affleck.
78
00:03:09,173 --> 00:03:11,581
The point is,
in a situation like this
79
00:03:11,582 --> 00:03:13,457
you got to pick sides.
80
00:03:13,458 --> 00:03:15,936
You're either on Team
Leonard or Team Penny.
81
00:03:15,937 --> 00:03:18,379
Which one picks last?
82
00:03:18,380 --> 00:03:19,920
What?
83
00:03:19,921 --> 00:03:22,396
Well, usually I'm on the
team that picks last.
84
00:03:23,434 --> 00:03:26,179
Unless there's a kid
in a wheelchair.
85
00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:30,663
Sheldon, I got you
your tangerine chicken.
86
00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:32,104
I hope you're hungry.
87
00:03:33,846 --> 00:03:35,150
Well, of course I'm hungry.
88
00:03:35,151 --> 00:03:38,429
And as I have no plans to
eat with any other team,
89
00:03:38,430 --> 00:03:40,403
I will consume my tangerine chicken
90
00:03:40,404 --> 00:03:42,311
with the appropriate gusto.
91
00:03:42,312 --> 00:03:43,616
Mm, mm, mm!
92
00:03:46,261 --> 00:03:47,532
Okay.
93
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:50,344
Just out of curiosity,
do we still have hot dogs?
94
00:03:50,345 --> 00:03:52,252
I don't know. Why?
95
00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:54,660
Just making dinner conversation.
96
00:03:54,661 --> 00:03:57,538
Go, Team Leonard!
97
00:03:57,539 --> 00:04:01,186
♪ Our whole universe was
in a hot, dense state ♪
98
00:04:01,187 --> 00:04:04,531
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
99
00:04:04,532 --> 00:04:06,139
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
100
00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:08,707
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
101
00:04:08,708 --> 00:04:11,376
♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We
built the pyramids ♪
102
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:14,046
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
103
00:04:14,047 --> 00:04:15,948
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
104
00:04:15,949 --> 00:04:17,316
♪ Bang! ♪
105
00:04:17,326 --> 00:04:20,326
The Big Bang Theory 3x20
The Spaghetti Catalyste
Original Air Date on May 3, 2010
106
00:04:20,336 --> 00:04:23,036
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
107
00:04:23,093 --> 00:04:24,862
Oh, God, this is good.
108
00:04:24,863 --> 00:04:26,529
Let me ask you a question.
109
00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:28,431
Do you believe you're
going to go to hell
110
00:04:28,432 --> 00:04:30,666
for eating sweet and sour pork?
111
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:33,202
Jews don't have hell.
112
00:04:33,203 --> 00:04:36,471
We have acid reflux.
113
00:04:36,472 --> 00:04:39,274
Do you want the last
dumpling, Sheldon?
114
00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:40,575
Certainly.
115
00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:43,110
It's not like I have to
moderate my food intake
116
00:04:43,111 --> 00:04:45,745
because I'm planning on
eating again very shortly.
117
00:04:45,746 --> 00:04:47,613
Mm, mm, mm!
118
00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:54,018
So, you guys want to
do something tonight?
119
00:04:54,019 --> 00:04:55,287
Nah, I can't.
120
00:04:55,288 --> 00:04:57,623
I got to pick up my mom from
her water aerobics class.
121
00:04:57,624 --> 00:05:02,293
18 overweight women
flapping their arm fat
122
00:05:02,294 --> 00:05:04,495
in a swimming pool.
123
00:05:05,698 --> 00:05:09,767
Looks like the manatee
tank at Sea World.
124
00:05:11,002 --> 00:05:12,536
What about you, Raj?
125
00:05:12,537 --> 00:05:13,870
Oh, there it is:
126
00:05:13,871 --> 00:05:15,304
now that you don't
have a girlfriend,
127
00:05:15,305 --> 00:05:17,273
you want to hang out with me again.
128
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:19,775
I never stopped hanging
out with you. Oh, please,
129
00:05:19,776 --> 00:05:21,276
we all know I'm the friend you call
130
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:22,944
when you have no other options.
131
00:05:22,945 --> 00:05:26,614
If we were the Justice League,
I'd be Aquaman.
132
00:05:26,615 --> 00:05:28,081
I wish you were Aquaman.
133
00:05:28,082 --> 00:05:31,784
Then I could send you to scoop
my mom out of the old lady tank.
134
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:37,389
Excuse me, I'm thirsty,
so I'm going to go to the refrigerator
135
00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:40,224
and get myself a
refreshing beverage.
136
00:05:41,493 --> 00:05:44,996
You know what? I'll just
spend the evening alone.
137
00:05:44,997 --> 00:05:48,999
What, suddenly I'm not
good enough for you?
138
00:05:54,670 --> 00:05:56,371
Ah...
139
00:05:57,339 --> 00:05:59,307
I do so love beverages.
140
00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:03,243
Now I think I'll take
my after-dinner walk.
141
00:06:06,447 --> 00:06:09,015
Since when do you take
after-dinner walks?
142
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:11,117
Yeah, since when do you take walks?
143
00:06:11,118 --> 00:06:13,919
I read a study online
that walking after a meal
144
00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,721
not only aids in digestion,
but increases serotonin,
145
00:06:16,722 --> 00:06:19,456
and you know me,
if there's one thing I like
146
00:06:19,457 --> 00:06:22,227
more than a refreshing beverage,
it's serotonin. Bye-bye.
147
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:24,531
Hold on. I'll walk down with you.
148
00:06:24,532 --> 00:06:25,599
Oh...
149
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,432
that's not necessary.
150
00:06:27,433 --> 00:06:29,767
You can go first.
151
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:31,168
Or we could go together.
152
00:06:31,169 --> 00:06:35,071
I can't think of a reason why not.
153
00:06:35,072 --> 00:06:36,172
Let's go.
154
00:06:36,173 --> 00:06:37,639
Hold on.
155
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,808
Nope, no reason.
156
00:06:48,552 --> 00:06:50,721
I've missed you.
157
00:06:52,991 --> 00:06:55,958
All right, say hello
to your mother for me.
158
00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,226
Okay.
159
00:07:01,898 --> 00:07:03,832
What?
160
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:06,600
You said you were going for a walk.
161
00:07:06,601 --> 00:07:09,302
I didn't say outside.
162
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:13,439
So what, you're just gonna
walk up and down the stairs?
163
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,008
No, of course not.
164
00:07:16,009 --> 00:07:18,878
That would be odd and
suspicious behavior.
165
00:07:19,713 --> 00:07:21,880
Here, Russell! Here, boy!
166
00:07:21,881 --> 00:07:23,347
Which way are you going?
167
00:07:23,348 --> 00:07:24,849
Which way are you going?
168
00:07:24,850 --> 00:07:27,317
I parked my scooter down the block.
169
00:07:27,318 --> 00:07:30,286
I'm going the other way. Bye.
170
00:07:30,287 --> 00:07:31,787
Bye.
171
00:07:32,656 --> 00:07:34,824
Actually, I'm this way.
172
00:07:36,493 --> 00:07:37,960
Do I smell hot dogs?
173
00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:40,895
No. I mean, I have no
idea what you smell.
174
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:43,930
I definitely smell raw hot dog.
175
00:07:44,765 --> 00:07:46,233
Perhaps you're getting
a brain tumor.
176
00:07:47,469 --> 00:07:49,537
All right, have a nice walk.
177
00:07:49,538 --> 00:07:51,905
I shall. Have a nice scoot.
178
00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:55,874
You might want to stand back.
179
00:07:55,875 --> 00:07:59,276
I'm sitting on top
of 13 horses here.
180
00:08:10,087 --> 00:08:11,820
Oh. Hello, doggie.
181
00:08:11,821 --> 00:08:13,488
Nice doggie.
182
00:08:15,156 --> 00:08:18,291
I bet you think you smell hot dogs.
183
00:08:19,126 --> 00:08:20,960
Look, a cat!
184
00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:27,800
SHELDON Penny?
185
00:08:28,535 --> 00:08:30,802
Penny.
186
00:08:35,273 --> 00:08:37,274
Penny.
187
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,609
Here.
188
00:08:41,378 --> 00:08:44,647
I had to trade the
others for my life.
189
00:08:50,345 --> 00:08:51,679
Hey, Leonard?
190
00:08:51,680 --> 00:08:52,980
Yeah?
191
00:08:52,981 --> 00:08:55,349
I haven't had sex in a year.
192
00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:00,653
Where you going with this, Raj?
193
00:09:01,755 --> 00:09:03,622
Don't flatter yourself, dude.
194
00:09:05,291 --> 00:09:06,925
I want to go out and meet a woman.
195
00:09:06,926 --> 00:09:08,626
So, go. Well, I need a wingman.
196
00:09:08,627 --> 00:09:11,995
I don't want to come off
like a lonely loser.
197
00:09:11,996 --> 00:09:15,498
And you think my presence
will help with that?
198
00:09:15,499 --> 00:09:16,799
Well, I do.
199
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:19,502
Next to you,
I'll look like a catch.
200
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:22,071
I'm not going out tonight, Raj.
201
00:09:22,072 --> 00:09:23,672
All right.
202
00:09:23,673 --> 00:09:25,206
Would you mind if I
went to your room
203
00:09:25,207 --> 00:09:28,309
and downloaded some
Asian pornography?
204
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,845
Very much.
205
00:09:30,846 --> 00:09:32,846
Doesn't have to be Asian.
206
00:09:34,815 --> 00:09:36,683
Don't worry.
You'll meet a girl someday.
207
00:09:36,684 --> 00:09:39,819
No, I won't. Yes, you will,
and she'll be beautiful.
208
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:41,820
And kind and sexy and funny
209
00:09:41,821 --> 00:09:43,655
and everything you
ever wanted in a woman.
210
00:09:43,656 --> 00:09:44,723
You really think so?
211
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:47,025
I do, and you'll fall
hopelessly in love
212
00:09:47,026 --> 00:09:48,459
and give her your heart.
213
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:52,329
And she'll take it and grind it
into pathetic, little pieces.
214
00:09:53,731 --> 00:09:55,732
But we'll have sex first, right?
215
00:10:06,075 --> 00:10:09,277
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
216
00:10:09,278 --> 00:10:11,812
That's Eye-talian.
217
00:10:11,813 --> 00:10:15,515
So, um, was Leonard okay
with you coming over?
218
00:10:15,516 --> 00:10:17,384
Oh, yes.
219
00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:20,186
In fact, he said, "I'm fine.
I don't care."
220
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,021
And he in no way
said it in a manner
221
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,889
which would lead one to believe
that he was covering up
222
00:10:23,890 --> 00:10:25,825
feelings of anguish and betrayal.
223
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,828
Well, good. I'm also
224
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:32,564
pleased to report that he's
all cried out over you.
225
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,098
He's been crying?
226
00:10:34,099 --> 00:10:36,334
Oh, I believe that
was something else
227
00:10:36,335 --> 00:10:37,701
I wasn't supposed to mention.
228
00:10:37,702 --> 00:10:41,004
Oh, God, I feel terrible.
229
00:10:41,005 --> 00:10:43,273
Do you have a stomachache, too?
230
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:44,908
No. Why, do you?
231
00:10:44,909 --> 00:10:47,610
No.
232
00:10:47,611 --> 00:10:50,312
Why did you ask if I had one, too?
233
00:10:50,313 --> 00:10:53,348
Just making polite
dinner conversation.
234
00:10:53,349 --> 00:10:54,716
Your turn.
235
00:10:54,717 --> 00:10:57,952
All right.
236
00:10:57,953 --> 00:11:00,120
So, what's new in your life?
237
00:11:00,121 --> 00:11:05,558
Well, my new shoes are
not made for running.
238
00:11:07,394 --> 00:11:09,395
Have you been running?
239
00:11:09,396 --> 00:11:12,130
No.
240
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:15,199
It's just a suspicion I have.
241
00:11:17,202 --> 00:11:20,070
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
242
00:11:20,071 --> 00:11:22,872
I'm so glad you like it. I do.
243
00:11:22,873 --> 00:11:24,674
Leonard never cooks for me.
244
00:11:24,675 --> 00:11:27,076
Well, maybe that's 'cause
Leonard can't cook.
245
00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:29,611
You can't cook and
you made me this.
246
00:11:31,047 --> 00:11:32,514
Whatever.
247
00:11:32,515 --> 00:11:34,548
Ooh, I'm gonna get the
cheesecake out of the fridge.
248
00:11:35,683 --> 00:11:38,051
Oh, Lord, I'm in Jewish hell.
249
00:11:44,518 --> 00:11:45,819
Look at this.
250
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:47,421
Do you think she's
really doing that
251
00:11:47,422 --> 00:11:49,589
or is it PhotoShop?
252
00:11:52,726 --> 00:11:55,160
I'm pretty sure Martha
Stewart never got naked
253
00:11:55,161 --> 00:11:58,229
with a room full of big,
fat Japanese guys.
254
00:11:58,230 --> 00:12:00,765
You don't know that.
255
00:12:00,766 --> 00:12:03,801
Prison changes people.
256
00:12:05,226 --> 00:12:06,927
Hey, where you been?
257
00:12:06,928 --> 00:12:10,129
I told you, walking.
258
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,297
For an hour and a half?
259
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:15,456
I got lost.
260
00:12:16,591 --> 00:12:18,325
How could you get lost?
Your phone has GPS.
261
00:12:18,523 --> 00:12:22,359
Satellites are down. Solar flares.
262
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,760
There are no solar
flares right now.
263
00:12:23,761 --> 00:12:24,994
Yes, there are.
264
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,362
Dude, I'm an astrophysicist.
265
00:12:26,363 --> 00:12:28,864
If there were solar flares,
I'd be all up in it.
266
00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:32,901
I'm sorry. I misspoke.
267
00:12:32,902 --> 00:12:35,770
What I meant to say
was my battery died.
268
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,940
What the hell was that about?
269
00:12:39,941 --> 00:12:41,408
I don't know.
270
00:12:41,409 --> 00:12:44,777
Do you think this is really Hillary
Clinton doing it with Oprah?
271
00:12:46,546 --> 00:12:49,314
Oh, we really need
to get you a girl.
272
00:12:52,469 --> 00:12:53,802
SHELDON Leonard.
273
00:12:54,971 --> 00:12:56,171
Leonard.
274
00:12:56,172 --> 00:12:57,438
Leonard.
275
00:12:57,439 --> 00:12:58,872
Oh, just come in!
276
00:13:00,307 --> 00:13:04,047
Thanks for seeing me
on such short notice.
277
00:13:06,584 --> 00:13:08,618
What do you want, Sheldon?
278
00:13:08,619 --> 00:13:11,287
Maybe this isn't a good time.
279
00:13:11,288 --> 00:13:15,122
Tell me why you woke me up or I
swear to God I will kill you.
280
00:13:15,123 --> 00:13:17,791
Do you really think death threats
281
00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:19,959
are an appropriate way to
begin this conversation?
282
00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,062
Sometimes your lack of
social skills astonishes me.
283
00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:28,132
What do you want?
284
00:13:28,133 --> 00:13:31,335
You may want to sit down.
285
00:13:31,336 --> 00:13:33,137
I'm in bed!
286
00:13:33,138 --> 00:13:35,305
Point taken.
287
00:13:35,306 --> 00:13:36,607
You may want to sit up.
288
00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:39,341
Sheldon!
289
00:13:40,276 --> 00:13:42,977
I've been seeing Penny
behind your back.
290
00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:53,419
Okay...
291
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:58,323
When you say "seeing Penny,
" what exactly does that mean?
292
00:13:58,324 --> 00:14:00,592
We had dinner last night.
293
00:14:00,593 --> 00:14:03,561
She made me spaghetti with
little hot dogs cut up in it.
294
00:14:03,562 --> 00:14:05,430
Well, little hot dog.
295
00:14:05,431 --> 00:14:08,432
I gave up the other five
hot dogs to a real dog.
296
00:14:08,433 --> 00:14:09,766
A real, big dog.
297
00:14:10,667 --> 00:14:12,702
A hell hound.
298
00:14:12,703 --> 00:14:14,404
Tangential to the primary story.
299
00:14:14,405 --> 00:14:16,505
How about I circle back to it?
300
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,640
Fine.
301
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:20,543
Why did you have dinner with Penny?
302
00:14:20,544 --> 00:14:22,645
I told you, she made spaghetti
with little hot dogs.
303
00:14:22,646 --> 00:14:25,013
I like spaghetti
with little hot dogs.
304
00:14:25,014 --> 00:14:28,215
Then why did you have
Chinese food with us?
305
00:14:28,216 --> 00:14:30,049
I didn't want to upset you.
306
00:14:30,050 --> 00:14:32,783
Howard made it very clear
that my allegiance should be
307
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:36,954
to male comrades before women
who sell their bodies for money.
308
00:14:38,992 --> 00:14:43,062
Is it possible he said,
"Bros before hos"?
309
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,699
Yes, but I rephrased it to
avoid offending the hos.
310
00:14:49,468 --> 00:14:53,036
Sheldon, I don't care if you
want to be friends with Penny.
311
00:14:53,037 --> 00:14:57,674
Oh. Well, so the emotional
turmoil that's been keeping me
312
00:14:57,675 --> 00:15:00,710
from achieving REM sleep
was entirely unjustified?
313
00:15:00,711 --> 00:15:02,711
Yes.
314
00:15:02,712 --> 00:15:06,281
Well... then as my
meemaw would say,
315
00:15:06,282 --> 00:15:09,584
"Looks like we butchered a pig,
but nobody wanted bacon."
316
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,521
I guess not.
317
00:15:13,522 --> 00:15:16,424
And now, as promised, the tangent.
318
00:15:17,826 --> 00:15:19,859
Sheldon and the Hell Hound.
319
00:15:19,860 --> 00:15:22,725
Or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.
320
00:15:26,996 --> 00:15:28,830
Oh, um...
321
00:15:28,831 --> 00:15:30,098
I, I can come back.
322
00:15:31,007 --> 00:15:32,507
D-don't be silly.
323
00:15:32,508 --> 00:15:33,608
We're neighbors.
324
00:15:33,609 --> 00:15:34,809
We're going to run into each other.
325
00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:35,977
May as well get used to it.
326
00:15:35,978 --> 00:15:38,979
Yeah, I guess you're right.
327
00:15:44,985 --> 00:15:46,185
You used to it yet?
328
00:15:46,186 --> 00:15:48,087
Nope. Me neither.
329
00:15:49,322 --> 00:15:52,490
Oh, Sheldon seemed tthink
that I would be upset
330
00:15:52,491 --> 00:15:53,625
about you hanging out with him.
331
00:15:53,626 --> 00:15:55,159
But I just want you
to know it's fine.
332
00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:58,362
Oh, oh, good, because, um,
his mother called me.
333
00:15:59,397 --> 00:16:00,831
His mother?
334
00:16:00,832 --> 00:16:02,532
Yeah, she wants me
to take him shopping
335
00:16:02,533 --> 00:16:04,367
for sheets and towels.
336
00:16:05,569 --> 00:16:07,069
I was going to do that.
337
00:16:08,505 --> 00:16:10,272
Oh, well, then you... you do it.
338
00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:12,374
No, I don't want to do it.
You can do it.
339
00:16:12,375 --> 00:16:14,676
Okay, you can take him for shoes.
340
00:16:14,677 --> 00:16:16,744
I just took him for shoes.
341
00:16:16,745 --> 00:16:18,246
Well, all I know is he
says they hurt his feet.
342
00:16:21,054 --> 00:16:24,722
Fine. I'll take him for
shoes next Saturday.
343
00:16:24,723 --> 00:16:26,790
Oh, no, no, no-
a bunch of us from work
344
00:16:26,791 --> 00:16:28,192
are going to Disneyland
next Saturday
345
00:16:28,193 --> 00:16:29,559
and Sheldon wants to come.
346
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,295
You're taking him to Disneyland?
347
00:16:32,296 --> 00:16:34,363
Well, he heard me making
plans on the phone.
348
00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,899
Was I going to say "no"?
349
00:16:37,734 --> 00:16:39,201
All right.
350
00:16:39,202 --> 00:16:41,269
But let me know if you're going
to stuff him with junk food.
351
00:16:41,270 --> 00:16:43,137
I don't want to bring
home a nice dinner for him
352
00:16:43,138 --> 00:16:45,339
and see it go to waste.
353
00:16:46,975 --> 00:16:48,175
We're going to Disneyland.
354
00:16:48,176 --> 00:16:49,943
He's going to eat junk food.
355
00:16:49,944 --> 00:16:53,245
All I'm saying is
give me a heads-up.
356
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,946
Okay, whatever.
357
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:59,116
And don't let him go on Space
Mountain after he eats.
358
00:16:59,117 --> 00:17:00,918
He'll say he can handle it,
but I promise
359
00:17:00,919 --> 00:17:02,886
you'll end up with churro
puke on your shoes.
360
00:17:02,887 --> 00:17:05,788
All right, got it.
Is there anything else?
361
00:17:05,789 --> 00:17:07,189
Yeah, don't let Goofy near him.
362
00:17:07,190 --> 00:17:10,024
He'll have nightmares and
I'll have to deal with it.
363
00:17:10,025 --> 00:17:11,625
What's the problem with Goofy?
364
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:14,794
Wish I knew. He's fine with Pluto.
365
00:17:20,568 --> 00:17:22,569
Hey, do you think the elastic
woman in The Incredibles
366
00:17:22,570 --> 00:17:24,171
needs to use birth control
367
00:17:24,172 --> 00:17:26,639
or can she just be a diaphra?
368
00:17:29,610 --> 00:17:30,777
Well, that's it.
369
00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:32,778
We're officially out of
things to talk about.
370
00:17:33,913 --> 00:17:36,081
We're home.
371
00:17:37,083 --> 00:17:38,951
It's 10:00.
372
00:17:38,952 --> 00:17:40,352
Where have you been? We stayed
373
00:17:40,353 --> 00:17:42,754
for the California
Adventure water show.
374
00:17:42,755 --> 00:17:45,123
It was pure Disney magic.
375
00:17:46,024 --> 00:17:47,591
I was going to see that with him.
376
00:17:47,592 --> 00:17:49,192
How was I supposed to know that?
377
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:51,527
It's all right.
I'll see it again with you.
378
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:53,729
And I have food here.
You said you were ing to call.
379
00:17:53,730 --> 00:17:55,030
I know, I know.
380
00:17:55,031 --> 00:17:55,997
I can still eat.
381
00:17:55,998 --> 00:17:57,165
No, you already threw up once.
382
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,066
Go put on your PJs
and brush your teeth.
383
00:18:01,569 --> 00:18:03,436
Okay, but just don't fight
384
00:18:03,437 --> 00:18:05,572
Wee not fighting. Just go.
385
00:18:08,476 --> 00:18:10,810
Aren't you going to thank Penny
for taki you to Disneyland?
386
00:18:10,811 --> 00:18:13,178
Thank you, Penny.
387
00:18:14,113 --> 00:18:16,448
You're welcome, sweetie.
388
00:18:16,449 --> 00:18:18,249
Want a cup of coffee?
389
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:21,585
Oh, um, I should
probably get going.
390
00:18:21,586 --> 00:18:25,922
Come on. It's just a cup of coffee.
391
00:18:32,395 --> 00:18:36,531
Uh, yeah, the whole thing seems
a little twisted to me, too.
392
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,666
What am I smelling?
393
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:41,101
Sheldon's churro on my shoes.
394
00:18:56,577 --> 00:18:59,244
He's such an angel
when he's asleep.
395
00:18:59,245 --> 00:19:01,112
Yeah.
396
00:19:01,113 --> 00:19:03,281
Shame he has to wake up.
397
00:19:06,017 --> 00:19:07,851
I think we can do it.
398
00:19:07,852 --> 00:19:10,220
Smother Sheldon in his sleep?
399
00:19:10,221 --> 00:19:12,388
Wouldn't that be wrong?
400
00:19:13,123 --> 00:19:16,558
No, be friends. You and me.
401
00:19:16,559 --> 00:19:19,494
Oh. Sure.
402
00:19:19,495 --> 00:19:21,129
Absolutely.
403
00:19:21,130 --> 00:19:23,498
Good. I'm glad.
404
00:19:24,933 --> 00:19:26,867
Here's aidea. I'm just
throwing it out tre:
405
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:29,036
friends who have sex.
406
00:19:31,072 --> 00:19:33,406
Good night, Leonard.
407
00:19:33,407 --> 00:19:35,041
Kidding.
408
00:19:35,042 --> 00:19:37,409
Just a couple of
friends goofin' around.
409
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,145
No, Goofy, no.
410
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:43,981
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --