1
00:00:02,809 --> 00:00:04,827
Hey, want to spend
some time playing the new
2
00:00:04,829 --> 00:00:06,128
Star Wars game
this weekend?
3
00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:08,147
Oh, I don't know.
I kind of promised myself
4
00:00:08,149 --> 00:00:10,583
I'd get off the computer,
be more physically active.
5
00:00:10,585 --> 00:00:11,801
Get some exercise...
6
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,837
You're about to walk up
three flights of stairs.
7
00:00:16,957 --> 00:00:19,475
Good point, I'm in.
8
00:00:19,477 --> 00:00:21,060
You know what would be great?
9
00:00:21,062 --> 00:00:23,346
Let's do it
like the old days.
10
00:00:23,348 --> 00:00:25,297
You mean, are you talking
gaming marathon?
11
00:00:25,299 --> 00:00:27,099
Yeah. Start Saturday morning,
12
00:00:27,101 --> 00:00:28,467
go 48 hours,
13
00:00:28,469 --> 00:00:30,436
sleeping bags,
junk food...
14
00:00:30,438 --> 00:00:33,138
Turn off our phones
so our moms can't call.
15
00:00:35,442 --> 00:00:37,743
It would be like our World Of
Warcraft a few years ago
16
00:00:37,745 --> 00:00:39,412
when the neighbors
called the cops on us.
17
00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,281
They called the cops
because of the smell.
18
00:00:42,283 --> 00:00:44,483
They thought we were dead.
19
00:00:46,987 --> 00:00:49,488
We were badass back in the day.
20
00:00:51,508 --> 00:00:52,875
All right, let's do it.
21
00:00:52,877 --> 00:00:54,927
48 hours of Star Wars gaming.
22
00:00:54,929 --> 00:00:57,013
It's on like Alderaan.
23
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:00,433
Hey, Sheldon,
24
00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,184
clear your weekend.
Starting Saturday morning,
25
00:01:02,186 --> 00:01:03,686
Star Wars marathon
Whoohoo!
26
00:01:03,688 --> 00:01:05,471
Movies or video games?
27
00:01:05,473 --> 00:01:06,539
No, board game?
28
00:01:06,541 --> 00:01:07,673
Or trading card games?
29
00:01:07,675 --> 00:01:09,225
Or Lego's? Or dress up?
30
00:01:09,227 --> 00:01:10,309
Or comic books?!
31
00:01:10,311 --> 00:01:12,094
Or dramatic readings
of novelizations?!
32
00:01:12,096 --> 00:01:14,680
Yes to all!
33
00:01:14,682 --> 00:01:18,200
We are going to play
the online game.
34
00:01:18,202 --> 00:01:19,452
The online game?!
35
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,737
Bully!
36
00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:24,407
Gentlemen, as much as I'm sure
Sheldon would enjoy
37
00:01:24,409 --> 00:01:26,292
playing intergalactic
make-believe,
38
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,710
he and I have other plans.
39
00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,479
We are attending my Aunt Flora's
93rd birthday party.
40
00:01:30,481 --> 00:01:32,798
Just tell her I can't come.
41
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,200
She'll be disappointed
if we don't show up.
42
00:01:35,202 --> 00:01:36,802
She's 93.
43
00:01:36,804 --> 00:01:38,371
She won't be disappointed
for very long.
44
00:01:40,357 --> 00:01:43,092
No, hang on.
I followed all the protocols
45
00:01:43,094 --> 00:01:45,061
set forth by you in the
relationship agreement.
46
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:48,648
I made a written record request
72 hours in advance.
47
00:01:49,549 --> 00:01:51,717
I checked the tire pressure
on the car.
48
00:01:51,719 --> 00:01:54,020
I even contacted the Centers
For Disease Control to find out
49
00:01:54,022 --> 00:01:57,273
what shots they recommend
for travel to Orange County.
50
00:01:58,191 --> 00:02:00,943
FYI, it's none.
51
00:02:00,945 --> 00:02:02,828
Amy, the relationship
agreement was not designed
52
00:02:02,830 --> 00:02:05,915
for either one of us
to get our way.
53
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,867
You use it to get your way.
54
00:02:07,869 --> 00:02:10,286
I use it to
get the right way.
55
00:02:11,421 --> 00:02:12,955
The fact that
the right way is
56
00:02:12,957 --> 00:02:15,174
also my way is
a happy coincidence.
57
00:02:16,727 --> 00:02:18,077
You gave me your word.
58
00:02:18,079 --> 00:02:19,295
You're coming with me.
59
00:02:19,297 --> 00:02:20,496
We'll miss you, Sheldon.
60
00:02:20,498 --> 00:02:22,247
Yeah, well,
61
00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,216
who wants to spend the whole
weekend, running around
62
00:02:24,218 --> 00:02:27,019
a bunch of pretend planets
battling made up monsters.
63
00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,271
That's for babies.
64
00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:30,856
Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
65
00:02:30,858 --> 00:02:34,527
Yeah, please, Amy!
It's got lightsabers!
66
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:38,097
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
67
00:02:38,099 --> 00:02:41,767
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
68
00:02:41,769 --> 00:02:43,285
♪ The Earth began to cool
69
00:02:43,287 --> 00:02:46,072
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
70
00:02:46,074 --> 00:02:48,224
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
71
00:02:48,226 --> 00:02:50,943
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
72
00:02:50,945 --> 00:02:52,828
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
73
00:02:52,830 --> 00:02:54,830
♪ Bang! ♪
74
00:02:54,831 --> 00:02:57,931
The Big Bang Theory 5x19
The Weekend Vortex
Original Air Date on March 8, 2012
75
00:02:57,952 --> 00:03:01,052
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
76
00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:03,080
- Hello Stuart.
- Hey Sheldon.
77
00:03:03,105 --> 00:03:04,216
Help you with anything?
78
00:03:04,241 --> 00:03:08,953
Yes. I'm attending a party this
weekend, for a 93-year-old woman.
79
00:03:10,241 --> 00:03:11,822
Can you recommend a gift?
80
00:03:13,008 --> 00:03:15,509
Uh, I don't know.
81
00:03:15,511 --> 00:03:18,157
Could put a tennis ball
on the end of Excalibur.
82
00:03:18,158 --> 00:03:20,358
Make a pretty badass cane.
83
00:03:21,829 --> 00:03:23,914
Do you supply the the tennis balls?
No.
84
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,265
Then no.
85
00:03:26,984 --> 00:03:27,868
What else?
86
00:03:27,870 --> 00:03:29,035
Hmm...
87
00:03:29,037 --> 00:03:32,172
Oh, have this collectors edition
88
00:03:32,174 --> 00:03:33,506
Batman utility belt.
89
00:03:33,508 --> 00:03:36,760
Maybe she can use it as a
wearable pill caddy.
90
00:03:38,212 --> 00:03:40,513
Well, she'd just look silly
wearing that
91
00:03:40,515 --> 00:03:41,998
without the rest of the costume.
92
00:03:44,969 --> 00:03:47,387
I'm sorry Sheldon, that's it.
That's all I got.
93
00:03:47,389 --> 00:03:48,504
Oh, it's not your fault.
94
00:03:48,506 --> 00:03:50,223
I've been to the
model train store.
95
00:03:50,225 --> 00:03:51,841
I've been to Radio Shack.
96
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:54,394
This woman is
impossible to shop for.
97
00:03:54,396 --> 00:03:57,280
I'd make fun of Sheldon
for having girl problems
98
00:03:57,282 --> 00:04:00,550
if I wasn't in shock that
Sheldon has girl problems.
99
00:04:00,552 --> 00:04:03,519
No, Leonard,
go ahead and mock.
100
00:04:03,521 --> 00:04:07,107
Like my daddy always said,
"Shelly, women aren't anything
101
00:04:07,109 --> 00:04:09,276
but flippin' pains
in the bottom."
102
00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:13,079
That's what your
father used to say?
103
00:04:13,081 --> 00:04:16,166
Well, I took out the
bad words and the yeehaw,
104
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,218
but you get the gist.
105
00:04:19,136 --> 00:04:20,470
Look, if you don't want to go
106
00:04:20,472 --> 00:04:21,871
to the party, just don't go.
107
00:04:21,873 --> 00:04:22,872
You're a grown man.
108
00:04:22,874 --> 00:04:24,207
Act like one.
109
00:04:24,209 --> 00:04:26,893
Tell Amy you want to spend
the weekend having a sleepover
110
00:04:26,895 --> 00:04:29,145
and playing video games
with your friends.
111
00:04:30,147 --> 00:04:31,598
Maybe she'll dig it.
112
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,484
Women like a firm hand
on the tiller.
113
00:04:34,486 --> 00:04:36,336
I can never find the tiller.
114
00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:42,692
I got a book; it didn't help.
115
00:04:42,694 --> 00:04:45,445
Yeah, I always thought
if I were ever enslaved,
116
00:04:45,447 --> 00:04:48,698
it would be by an advanced
species from another planet,
117
00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:52,419
not some hotsy-totsy
from Glendale.
118
00:04:52,421 --> 00:04:54,621
Now, I downloaded an app that
119
00:04:54,623 --> 00:04:57,757
might be helpful
in this situation.
120
00:05:02,247 --> 00:05:04,114
You're right.
121
00:05:04,116 --> 00:05:07,484
I'm smart as a whip. I should
be able to figure this out.
122
00:05:10,587 --> 00:05:12,555
Hey, listen,
I kind of made plans
123
00:05:12,557 --> 00:05:14,858
with the guys this weekend,
but then I wondered,
124
00:05:14,860 --> 00:05:16,943
because we're in this
relationship-beta-test,
125
00:05:16,945 --> 00:05:18,778
if I should have
asked you first.
126
00:05:18,780 --> 00:05:21,731
Then I thought
if I did check with you first,
127
00:05:21,733 --> 00:05:24,818
then you'd think that I was
taking things too seriously.
128
00:05:24,820 --> 00:05:27,270
And then-en I got a nosebleed.
129
00:05:27,272 --> 00:05:29,823
You don't have to check with me.
130
00:05:29,825 --> 00:05:31,825
Do whatever you want.
131
00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:33,493
Oh.
132
00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:36,379
I guess I was hoping for a
different reaction, but okay.
133
00:05:36,381 --> 00:05:38,415
Really, what were
you hoping for?
134
00:05:38,417 --> 00:05:39,799
I don't know,
135
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:41,801
maybe that you'd
be a little upset,
136
00:05:41,803 --> 00:05:43,887
and then you'd realize that
137
00:05:43,889 --> 00:05:46,139
I'm a stallion
that has to run free.
138
00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:52,512
And that would
turn you on a little.
139
00:05:52,514 --> 00:05:56,299
Okay, I'm an actress.
Ask me again.
140
00:05:56,301 --> 00:05:58,568
Do you mind
if I spend the weekend
141
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,186
playing video games
with the guys?
142
00:06:00,188 --> 00:06:02,155
Wha... the entire weekend?
143
00:06:02,157 --> 00:06:03,823
You mean I wouldn't
see you at all?
144
00:06:03,825 --> 00:06:04,774
But I j...
145
00:06:04,776 --> 00:06:05,641
No, no...
146
00:06:05,643 --> 00:06:08,328
I knew what I was getting into.
147
00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:11,648
You can't put a saddle
on Leonard Hofstadter.
148
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,152
Oh, my, is it getting hot
in here?
149
00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:18,455
Ay,papi.
150
00:06:18,457 --> 00:06:21,341
¿Ay papi?
151
00:06:21,343 --> 00:06:22,759
What is that?
152
00:06:22,761 --> 00:06:25,145
- An acting choice.
- Oh.
153
00:06:25,147 --> 00:06:27,547
So you chose that when
you become turned on,
154
00:06:27,549 --> 00:06:30,433
you turn into Speedy Gonzalez?
155
00:06:30,435 --> 00:06:34,087
Choo got a problem
with that, papi?
156
00:06:35,022 --> 00:06:36,556
Uh-uh.
157
00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:40,443
Penny! Penny! Penny!
158
00:06:40,445 --> 00:06:41,728
Sorry, Stallion.
159
00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,980
Your weird friend
Giraffe is here.
160
00:06:46,117 --> 00:06:47,683
Hello, Penny!
161
00:06:47,685 --> 00:06:50,403
I just stopped by to
bring you this gift.
162
00:06:50,405 --> 00:06:52,021
Gummy bears?
Thank you.
163
00:06:52,023 --> 00:06:54,023
Now that you're
in my debt...
164
00:06:55,526 --> 00:06:58,194
...please manipulate Amy
into releasing me from my
165
00:06:58,196 --> 00:07:01,748
commitment to attend her
aunt's tedious birthday party.
166
00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:02,999
Not a chance.
167
00:07:03,001 --> 00:07:04,250
All right.
168
00:07:04,252 --> 00:07:05,885
I thought the candy
might not be enough
169
00:07:05,887 --> 00:07:08,088
so let me up the ante.
170
00:07:08,090 --> 00:07:10,090
These are Cooper Coupons.
171
00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:13,176
These are for various things
I can do for you.
172
00:07:13,178 --> 00:07:14,677
Um, oh, this one
173
00:07:14,679 --> 00:07:16,896
is for one free grammar check.
174
00:07:16,898 --> 00:07:18,431
Uh...
175
00:07:18,433 --> 00:07:20,600
You could use it for emails,
letters,
176
00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:21,935
tattoos, what have you.
177
00:07:21,937 --> 00:07:23,603
Um...
178
00:07:23,605 --> 00:07:25,021
Oh, this is fun one!
179
00:07:25,023 --> 00:07:28,408
This is an afternoon with me at
the California Science Center,
180
00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:31,411
where I point out
their mistakes.
181
00:07:31,413 --> 00:07:34,230
Keep an eye on
those expiration dates,
182
00:07:34,232 --> 00:07:36,332
I've been burned
more than once.
183
00:07:36,334 --> 00:07:38,785
All right, sweetie,
I'm not going to get involved
184
00:07:38,787 --> 00:07:39,919
in your relationship.
185
00:07:39,921 --> 00:07:42,288
Oh, come on.
It's just a simple favor.
186
00:07:42,290 --> 00:07:43,423
Now, when's the last time
I asked you
187
00:07:43,425 --> 00:07:44,424
to do something for me?
188
00:07:44,426 --> 00:07:46,626
Yesterday. You made me
look in your ear
189
00:07:46,628 --> 00:07:48,628
to see if there was
a ladybug in it.
190
00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:51,581
When is the last time
I asked you to do something
191
00:07:51,583 --> 00:07:52,915
that wasn't a medical emergency?
192
00:07:52,917 --> 00:07:54,634
Yesterday. You made me
look in your ear
193
00:07:54,636 --> 00:07:56,836
to see if there was
a ladybug in it.
194
00:07:58,088 --> 00:07:59,606
All right, then,
I have no choice
195
00:07:59,608 --> 00:08:00,923
but to go on to plan B.
196
00:08:00,925 --> 00:08:02,091
What's that?
197
00:08:02,093 --> 00:08:03,259
I'm going to run around outside
198
00:08:03,261 --> 00:08:05,261
with a wet head and
try to catch a cold.
199
00:08:09,483 --> 00:08:10,700
Good morning.
200
00:08:10,702 --> 00:08:12,368
Hello.
201
00:08:12,370 --> 00:08:14,654
I think you're really
going to enjoy yourself today.
202
00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:16,322
Not only do you get
to meet my relatives,
203
00:08:16,324 --> 00:08:18,708
but since you aunt's nursing
home is catering the party,
204
00:08:18,710 --> 00:08:20,326
all of the food
is incredibly soft.
205
00:08:20,328 --> 00:08:22,712
It's like a vacation
for your teeth.
206
00:08:22,714 --> 00:08:24,280
All right.
207
00:08:25,949 --> 00:08:27,584
You sure you're
okay with this?
208
00:08:27,586 --> 00:08:28,968
Yes.
209
00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:31,304
I decided to find
a way that I could
210
00:08:31,306 --> 00:08:33,789
have this experience
and enjoy it.
211
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:36,593
Thank you. That
means a lot to me.
212
00:08:36,595 --> 00:08:38,011
Oh, don't thank me.
213
00:08:38,013 --> 00:08:39,462
Thank wireless technology.
214
00:08:39,464 --> 00:08:42,732
I realized, I can go
to your aunt's awful party
215
00:08:42,734 --> 00:08:46,903
and still spend the whole day
gaming with my friends.
216
00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:50,023
Sheldon, my relatives are going
to want to talk to you,
217
00:08:50,025 --> 00:08:52,742
and you're going to be sitting
there playing a game?
218
00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:54,360
Isn't that a
little rude?
219
00:08:54,362 --> 00:08:56,496
Oh, I got that covered.
220
00:08:56,498 --> 00:08:58,198
Headset.
221
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:01,117
I won't hear a word
the old geezers are saying.
222
00:09:03,370 --> 00:09:06,339
You know, if playing that game
is more important to you
223
00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:07,790
than honoring your
commitment to me,
224
00:09:07,792 --> 00:09:10,176
and you don't mind me showing up
at a party all by myself
225
00:09:10,178 --> 00:09:11,327
after I've already told
everybody
226
00:09:11,329 --> 00:09:13,429
I'll be bringing somebody,
then, fine.
227
00:09:13,431 --> 00:09:14,931
Go home and play your game.
228
00:09:17,434 --> 00:09:18,801
Thanks.
229
00:09:20,337 --> 00:09:21,504
Ooh, listen,
230
00:09:21,506 --> 00:09:24,691
I wouldn't mind
a piece of birthday cake,
231
00:09:24,693 --> 00:09:29,345
provided the old gal's
candle blow is clean and dry.
232
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:38,649
Here you go.
233
00:09:38,650 --> 00:09:40,900
I've got everything
we'll need for the big game:
234
00:09:40,902 --> 00:09:43,402
lowfat turkey jerky...
235
00:09:43,404 --> 00:09:46,639
low-carb beer...
236
00:09:46,641 --> 00:09:49,442
100-calorie snack pack...
237
00:09:49,444 --> 00:09:52,194
You pick up a Y chromosome
while you were there?
238
00:09:52,196 --> 00:09:53,779
You might be short one.
239
00:09:53,781 --> 00:09:56,399
Hey, I plan on leveling up
in the game,
240
00:09:56,401 --> 00:09:59,535
not my swimsuit size,
thank you very much.
241
00:09:59,537 --> 00:10:01,820
Gentlemen, the game
offers us a choice,
242
00:10:01,822 --> 00:10:04,674
between playing for the Republic
and the light side,
243
00:10:04,676 --> 00:10:07,760
or the Sith Empire
and the dark side.
244
00:10:07,762 --> 00:10:09,211
Well, we're always
the good guys.
245
00:10:09,213 --> 00:10:10,713
In D&D, we're lawful good,
246
00:10:10,715 --> 00:10:12,398
in City Of Heroes,
we're the heroes,
247
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,268
and Grand Theft Auto,
we pay the prostitutes promptly,
248
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,336
and never hit them with a bat.
249
00:10:20,878 --> 00:10:23,330
Those women are prostitutes?
250
00:10:23,727 --> 00:10:26,929
You said they were raising money
for stem cell research.
251
00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:31,767
Hey, guys, I got a surprise.
252
00:10:31,769 --> 00:10:34,120
Uh, if it's yogurt
that helps ladies poop,
253
00:10:34,122 --> 00:10:36,122
I think Raj beat you to it.
254
00:10:36,124 --> 00:10:39,375
No. Bernadette's
going to be playing with us.
255
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:42,828
So, that's pretty cool, huh?
Right? Sure it is, yeah.
256
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:45,698
What, you invited
your girlfriend?!
257
00:10:45,700 --> 00:10:47,700
This is supposed
to be our weekend!
258
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,481
I had no choice.
Last night, she said,
259
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:51,783
"Why don't we go out
for brunch tomorrow
260
00:10:51,785 --> 00:10:54,068
and then maybe the Arboretum."
And I said, "Well, no,
261
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,403
"I promised the guys
I was going to play
262
00:10:55,405 --> 00:10:56,871
a video game with them
all weekend."
263
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:58,740
And she said, "That sounds
like fun. Can I come, too?"
264
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,625
And then I didn't answer
for a second, and then she said,
265
00:11:00,627 --> 00:11:01,960
"Well, do you not
want me to come?"
266
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,527
And then I bought her
a new laptop and the game,
267
00:11:03,529 --> 00:11:05,613
and she's parking
the car right now.
268
00:11:07,082 --> 00:11:09,000
Is the whip sound app
269
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,969
contextually
appropriate here?
270
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,921
Uh, it is, but I think
you might've waited too long
271
00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,340
for it to be funny.
272
00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:22,313
I was wrong; it's still funny.
273
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:23,731
Oh, good.
274
00:11:29,721 --> 00:11:30,989
Oh.
275
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,324
Amy, what's wrong?
276
00:11:33,326 --> 00:11:35,059
My boyfriend's a jerk.
277
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,745
Well, I know he didn't
cheat on you,
278
00:11:37,747 --> 00:11:38,997
so what happened?
279
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:42,917
I had to go to my aunt's
party all by myself,
280
00:11:42,919 --> 00:11:44,452
and everybody was like,
281
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:45,953
"Where's this boyfriend
you're always talking about?
282
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:48,373
"Is he real, or did you
make him up like Armen,
283
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,376
the miniature horse breeder?"
284
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:54,128
Who's Armen the
miniature horse breeder?
285
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:57,415
The pretend boyfriend I invented
to get my family off my back.
286
00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,600
It unraveled quickly when
I couldn't answer the question
287
00:11:59,602 --> 00:12:02,103
"How'd you two meet?"
288
00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,922
I would have thought
at a miniature horse show.
289
00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:07,425
- Oh, that's good.
- Mm.
290
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,461
I panicked and said Woodstock.
291
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:14,532
I just wanted to show Sheldon
off to my family.
292
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,783
Sure, I get that.
293
00:12:15,785 --> 00:12:18,102
I mean, he's your first
boyfriend and all.
294
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:20,321
Not just my first boyfriend,
he's the best boyfriend.
295
00:12:20,323 --> 00:12:21,989
I mean, think about it.
296
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,425
I'm dating Sheldon Cooper.
297
00:12:26,778 --> 00:12:27,912
Yes.
298
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,498
On purpose.
299
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,133
He's handsome, he's lanky,
300
00:12:32,135 --> 00:12:33,885
he's brilliant,
301
00:12:33,887 --> 00:12:37,705
and his skin has that pale,
waxy quality.
302
00:12:37,707 --> 00:12:40,208
Well, sickly is the new sexy.
303
00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:45,580
- Yeah.
- Mm.
304
00:12:45,582 --> 00:12:47,115
You know, Amy,
305
00:12:47,117 --> 00:12:49,767
sometimes when you're in
a relationship with someone
306
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,652
you really care about,
the sucky part is,
307
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:53,271
it leaves you open
to getting hurt.
308
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:56,107
Do you ever worry about
Leonard doing that to you?
309
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,926
That's hilarious. No.
310
00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,914
Get that guy!
Get that guy!
311
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:05,649
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!
312
00:13:06,502 --> 00:13:07,435
Dr. Rostenkowski,
313
00:13:07,437 --> 00:13:08,836
it may interest
you to know
314
00:13:08,838 --> 00:13:11,539
that saying "pew, pew, pew"
isn't as effective
315
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,008
as pressing your
blaster key.
316
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,094
In the same way
that saying "whee!"
317
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,546
doesn't make the
land speeder go.
318
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:22,517
Pew!
319
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,603
Raj, Imperial Troopers
on your tail.
320
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,221
Got him.
321
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:30,108
When Gandhi advocated his
philosophy of non-violence,
322
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:34,262
I bet he didn't know how much
fun it was killing stuff.
323
00:13:34,264 --> 00:13:36,847
All right, I think
we got them all.
324
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:38,449
Let's divide up the loot.
325
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,985
Ooh, look at this
pretty purple robe I just got.
326
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,454
You should put on yours
and then we'll match.
327
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:46,357
But I worked hard
to get this armor.
328
00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,875
Sorry, I just thought
it'd be nice
329
00:13:47,877 --> 00:13:51,045
if people knew
we were a couple.
330
00:13:51,047 --> 00:13:53,030
Fine, I'll change.
331
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,921
I don't think I want
to play a game.
332
00:14:07,946 --> 00:14:08,797
Oh, come on!
333
00:14:08,798 --> 00:14:10,062
They're playing one
across the hall--
334
00:14:10,087 --> 00:14:11,287
we should, too.
335
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,818
Okay, we are gonna take
turns bouncing a quarter
336
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,187
off the table, and if it
goes into this cup,
337
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,605
the other person
has to drink.
338
00:14:17,607 --> 00:14:19,190
Then you get to
go again...
339
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:25,363
Like that?
340
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,532
Wow. Yeah, b-beginner's luck.
341
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:31,452
So, now I will drink this entire
cup of beer, and you
342
00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:33,704
will go again...
343
00:14:35,824 --> 00:14:37,074
Uh...
344
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:39,210
All right. So, yeah, okay,
now I'm gonna
345
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,513
drink this entire cup and then
I'm going to drink another one.
346
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:46,000
Okay,
seriously, stop. What the hell?
347
00:14:46,002 --> 00:14:47,468
Spent a lot of my childhood
348
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,753
throwing coins into wishing
wells hoping for friends.
349
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:51,772
At a certain point, you
start doing trick shots
350
00:14:51,774 --> 00:14:54,091
just to keep
things interesting.
351
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:57,278
Whoa, give me a second
to catch up here. Hold on.
352
00:14:58,798 --> 00:15:00,548
That'd be
my boyfriend
353
00:15:00,550 --> 00:15:01,899
happier playing
354
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,618
his dopey Star Trek game
with his friends
355
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:04,735
than hanging out with me.
356
00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,038
- Wars.
- What?
357
00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,122
Star Wars.
358
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:10,291
They get all cranky
when you mix the two up.
359
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,375
What's the difference?
360
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:14,128
There's absolutely
no difference.
361
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,916
How do I get him
to treat me better?
362
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,084
All right.
363
00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,253
Let me give you
a little girlfriend 101.
364
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,422
Usually the first move
out of the gate
365
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,723
is you withhold sex,
366
00:15:25,725 --> 00:15:28,292
but that will work better
after Sheldon hits puberty.
367
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:31,812
So, I'd say...
368
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:33,764
give him the silent treatment.
369
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,733
No, he loves that.
Hmm.
370
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:37,768
Our record for sitting
in a room together
371
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:40,821
and not speaking to each other
is six-and-a half hours.
372
00:15:40,823 --> 00:15:43,524
He said it was
a magical evening.
373
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,476
All right, then we're
gonna have to go
374
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:46,744
with an oldie but goodie;
375
00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,862
making a scene.
376
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:50,164
I don't think I'd
be good at that.
377
00:15:50,166 --> 00:15:51,616
That's why you're
lucky to have me.
378
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,534
Back in Omaha, there are
two different restaurants
379
00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,102
I'm not allowed into.
Both Chili's.
380
00:15:59,007 --> 00:16:00,625
Bernadette, remember,
your character's
381
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,376
the healer in our group.
382
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,096
You're in charge of healing
all of us, not just Howard.
383
00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,847
I can't help it.
384
00:16:06,849 --> 00:16:09,667
My Howie Wowie
has an owie.
385
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:13,304
That is the most sickeningly
sweet thing
386
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:15,139
I have ever experienced.
387
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:20,678
And I am sipping Kool-Aid
through a Red Vine.
388
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,614
Sheldon Cooper, I've got
a bone to pick with you,
389
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:26,317
and I'm about to do it
in front of all your friends.
390
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:30,187
Yeah, you pick that bone.
You pick that bone clean!
391
00:16:30,189 --> 00:16:31,372
I'm gonna publicly shame you,
392
00:16:31,374 --> 00:16:33,741
and then sit back as societal
pressure compels you
393
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:34,959
to modify your behavior.
394
00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:37,528
Ooh, buuurn!
395
00:16:38,547 --> 00:16:40,331
And if you don't start
treating me better,
396
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,382
I'm leaving you
397
00:16:41,384 --> 00:16:44,034
for a miniature horse breeder
named Armen.
398
00:16:44,836 --> 00:16:46,887
Armen who?
399
00:16:46,889 --> 00:16:48,556
Armen... damn it.
400
00:16:51,042 --> 00:16:53,978
Look, Sheldon, she wanted
to show you off to her family,
401
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,763
and you stood her up, okay?
402
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:58,549
Look at this adorable,
smushy face.
403
00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,552
Smush, smush, smush.
404
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,053
You're hurting me.
405
00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:05,990
No, Sheldon hurt you.
406
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,025
Before; now it's you.
407
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,860
Oh.
408
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,680
I think I understand.
409
00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:13,781
You're the one person
410
00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:16,334
who can say Sheldon Cooper
is your boyfriend,
411
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,120
but that rings hollow
if you can't lord him
412
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,038
over others in the flesh.
413
00:17:22,507 --> 00:17:23,591
I forget what
I bring
414
00:17:23,593 --> 00:17:25,459
to the party
and what I take away
415
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,261
when I leave.
416
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:32,099
Please accept these valuable
Cooper Coupons...
417
00:17:33,769 --> 00:17:36,187
...as restitution.
418
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:37,555
Sheldon, she doesn't
want your stupid...
419
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,357
Ooh, Science Center.
Redeeming.
420
00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,759
Let's go.
421
00:17:42,811 --> 00:17:44,695
Well played, Amy Farrah Fowler.
422
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,564
Let me get my coat.
423
00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:49,817
Oh, grow up, Leonard.
424
00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:51,819
But e-excuse me,
425
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,937
I have something to say.
426
00:17:54,956 --> 00:17:57,875
None of you may realize it,
but I was very much
427
00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,660
looking forward to this weekend.
428
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:00,745
It was gonna be like
429
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:03,247
the old days-- the four of us
hanging out
430
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,965
playing video games
before you guys
431
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:06,634
all got girlfriends.
432
00:18:06,636 --> 00:18:08,552
Do you have any idea
what it's like
433
00:18:08,554 --> 00:18:10,971
to be the only one
without a girlfriend?
434
00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:12,506
Even if I get one someday,
435
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,508
I'll still be the guy
who got a girl
436
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,311
after Sheldon Cooper!
437
00:18:21,566 --> 00:18:24,802
And that's how
a girl makes a scene.
438
00:18:29,524 --> 00:18:30,524
I'm sorry, sweetie.
439
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,159
You're right.
You deserve your weekend.
440
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:33,360
Come on, Amy,
let's go.
441
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:35,162
What about the
Science Center?
442
00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:38,332
I'll let you hold my hair
while I throw up.
443
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:41,252
Rain check.
444
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:43,537
I'm gonna go, too.
445
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,289
- I'll miss you.
- I'll miss you.
446
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,208
- I'll miss you more.
- No, I'll...
447
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:49,593
Just leave!
448
00:18:52,497 --> 00:18:54,498
Okay, now.
449
00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:56,383
This is the way
it's supposed to be.
450
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,719
Men together,
fighting the forces of evil.
451
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:00,855
Hear! Hear!
452
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:05,843
I can't believe
this is only 64 calories.
453
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:22,194
Howard Joel Wolowitz!
454
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,228
I've been worried sick
for two days,
455
00:19:24,230 --> 00:19:26,764
and I know you turned
off your phone!
456
00:19:29,134 --> 00:19:31,118
You open up this door right now
457
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:32,820
because I've had it
up to here!
458
00:19:32,822 --> 00:19:34,738
I have been to the morgue
and the hospital,
459
00:19:34,740 --> 00:19:36,173
and I spent the last
half hour
460
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:39,843
walking up these
ferkakta stairs!
461
00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:45,099
That's my ride; got to go.
462
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,021
== sync, corrected by elderman ==