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00:00:02,719 --> 00:00:05,137
Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
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00:00:05,139 --> 00:00:08,907
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper
Presents: Fun with Flags.
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00:00:10,477 --> 00:00:13,345
Before we get started,
I'd like to announce
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00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:16,248
the winner of our design
your own flag competition.
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00:00:16,250 --> 00:00:18,417
But I can't.
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00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:21,086
The only entry
was from GameyGamer75,
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00:00:21,088 --> 00:00:25,024
and I know that was a jpeg
of your buttocks.
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00:00:25,026 --> 00:00:27,393
Now this week we have
a very special episode
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00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,061
where we explore the flags
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00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:32,364
of the popular entertainment
franchise, Star Trek.
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00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,633
And to help me,
I'm pleased to introduce
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Internet personality,
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former star of Star Trek:
The Next Generation,
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and the only guy I know lucky
enough to be immortalized
15
00:00:42,677 --> 00:00:47,780
in 1/16 scale--
set phasers to "fun"...
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00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,451
...for my friend, Wil Wheaton.
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00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:55,821
Hi, Sheldon.
Thanks for having me.
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00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:57,222
I'm happy to be here.
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00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,741
Cut.
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00:00:58,743 --> 00:00:59,842
What's wrong?
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00:00:59,844 --> 00:01:02,111
Sorry, Sheldon, you were
brilliant as always.
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00:01:02,113 --> 00:01:04,897
Wil, that was
a little wooden.
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00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,449
Wooden?
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00:01:07,451 --> 00:01:08,784
Don't worry,
it wasn't terrible.
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00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:12,621
Just, this time, try to say it
the way people sound.
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00:01:14,624 --> 00:01:15,958
And action.
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00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,293
My friend, Wil Wheaton.
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00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:19,962
Hi, Sheldon.
Thanks for having me.
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I'm excited to be here.
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00:01:21,198 --> 00:01:23,882
So, Wil, what do you
have for us first?
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Well, this is
an exciting one.
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This is the flag of the
United Federation of Planets.
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00:01:28,239 --> 00:01:30,205
Now what's interesting about this flag...
Cut.
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00:01:31,474 --> 00:01:32,891
What was wrong with that?
35
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,477
It's called "Fun with Flags."
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They're not at half-mast,
nobody died.
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Let's try and keep it upbeat.
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Um, no offense,
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but I've been acting
since I was a kid.
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I think I can
handle a Web show
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00:01:45,740 --> 00:01:46,989
without a lot
of direction.
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SHELDON:
It's true.
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00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,775
In 1982, Wil
played the voice
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of Martin the mouse
in The Secret of NIMH.
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You moved me.
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You'll have to forgive me.
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This is my first time directing,
I just want it to be good.
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00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,620
So do I.
49
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,505
Great. So, this time let's try
50
00:02:03,507 --> 00:02:05,307
more real boy, less Pinocchio.
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00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:08,060
And action.
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00:02:08,062 --> 00:02:09,445
And cut.
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00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,564
You realize that I'm doing this
for free, right?
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00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:16,652
Yes. And so far, we're still
not getting our money's worth.
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Let's try it again.
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Everybody's having fun.
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And action.
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So, Wil...
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00:02:34,921 --> 00:02:37,222
...what do you have
for us first?
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00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:41,460
Well, this is
an exciting one.
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00:02:41,462 --> 00:02:43,028
This is the flag
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of the United
Federation of Planets.
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Cut.
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Problem,
first-time director?
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SHELDON:
Oh, none that I could see.
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I saw a man who loved flags
almost as much as I do.
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I got goose bumps.
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He was overacting on purpose.
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Really?
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00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:02,231
He reminded me of a
young William Shatner.
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Listen, Sheldon,
I'm really happy
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00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:06,118
to do this for you,
but not if she's gonna be
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a huge pain in the ass
the whole time.
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00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:11,240
You gonna let him
speak to me like that?
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Well...
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00:03:15,379 --> 00:03:16,862
you're my girlfriend
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and I don't want
you to be upset.
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00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:20,465
Then again,
Wil Wheaton's my friend
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00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,718
and I don't want
him to be upset.
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Hmm...
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This is a sticky wicket.
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What do you think?
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00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,844
Can I speak to you
for a second?
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I'll be right back.
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00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,565
Feel free to play
with yourself.
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00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,391
I don't care for your friend,
he's being rude to me.
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00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,826
You need to ask him to leave.
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00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:50,896
Amy, I can't just ask
Wil Wheaton to leave.
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He's a minor celebrity.
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Once you explain who he is,
many people recognize him.
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00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,421
Fine. Then maybe I should go.
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00:03:59,423 --> 00:04:02,007
Could you?
That would solve everything.
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You are the best.
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00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:07,512
I'll see you at dinner tonight?
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00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:09,181
You sure you wouldn't rather
have dinner
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00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:10,382
with your friend Wil Wheaton?
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Come to think of it, I would!
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You, little lady, are on fire.
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♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
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♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
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♪ The Earth began to cool
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00:04:26,283 --> 00:04:28,984
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
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00:04:28,986 --> 00:04:31,386
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
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00:04:31,388 --> 00:04:33,855
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
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♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
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♪ Bang! ♪
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00:04:38,194 --> 00:04:40,694
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x07 ♪
The Habitation Configuration
Original Air Date on November 8, 2012
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00:04:40,695 --> 00:04:43,195
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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Every time we eat
dinner here,
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00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,601
your mother refuses to let me
help with the dishes.
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00:04:46,603 --> 00:04:49,304
Don't take it personally.
She likes doing them by herself
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so she can lick the plates
with no one looking.
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You ready to go?
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Yeah, let me just grab a couple
of fresh turtlenecks.
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I don't understand
why you keep your stuff here
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when there's plenty
of room at home.
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What are you
talking about?
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00:05:03,670 --> 00:05:06,504
All I have here
is a few sweaters,
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00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,324
books, bank stuff,
computers,
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00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:11,793
mail, collectibles, medicine
and my electric body groomer.
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Ooh, there's my plaid dickie.
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Oh, got this at the Goodwill
store for 50 cents.
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Can you believe it?
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50 cents sounds right.
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Let's go.
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You know, it's kinda late.
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Why don't we just spend
the night here?
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Because we don't live here.
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I know.
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Do you? You said when you got
back from space
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you were gonna move into
my apartment,
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but half the time we stay here.
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That's not true.
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MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, I'm doing laundry!
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You want me to put
anything in for you?!
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There's some underwear
in the hamper!
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Oh, good! I got that new
stain stick to try out!
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Thank you! I only put it
on the list two weeks ago!
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Okay, I see what
you're getting at.
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How about this weekend
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I'll box up all my things
and move them to our place.
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Thank you.
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The lightsabers are gonna
look great in the living room.
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Or in the closet.
We can decide later.
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Howard, help!
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My hand's stuck
in the garbage disposal!
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Let go of whatever piece of food
you're holding!
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MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Are you kidding?!
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It's a perfectly good
chicken leg!
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Hey, look who's out
after dark, like a big boy.
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00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:40,715
I was out raising heck
with Mr. Wil Wheaton.
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Four hours more
and we would have
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closed down the
HomeTown Buffet.
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I thought you had plans
with Amy.
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Yeah, I did, but then Wil called
Amy a pain in the A-S-S.
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She got huffy and left,
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then Wil and I headed out
to dinner.
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That place really did remind me
of my hometown.
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00:06:58,602 --> 00:07:02,420
Because there we also have
a HomeTown Buffet.
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Hold on.
Wil and Amy had an argument?
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00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:08,826
Yes, quite the kerfuffle.
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Then Amy got mad and left?
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Walked right out the door.
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And you...?
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Enjoyed a delightful dinner
at a reasonable price.
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The manager recognized Wil
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and let us sit right next
to the frozen yogurt machine.
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Right next to it!
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I was closer to it than
I am to you right now.
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Buddy, I think Amy
might be upset.
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Why's that?
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Because your friend
was rude to her,
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and then you went
to dinner with him.
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You're just repeating
what I said.
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It's like living with
a lactose-intolerant parrot.
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Trust me, call her.
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Fine. It's a shame you didn't
go to dinner with us,
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00:07:52,289 --> 00:07:53,871
because the buffet
you're about to enjoy
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00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,623
only serves humble pie,
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a dessert much less tasty
than frozen yogurt.
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I was this close.
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00:07:59,963 --> 00:08:03,247
(Skype ringing)
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00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:05,984
What?
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00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,485
You'll appreciate this.
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00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:10,054
Leonard has some ridiculous
notion that you're mad at me.
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00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,839
Tell him you're
not mad at me.
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00:08:11,841 --> 00:08:13,257
Go ahead, set
him straight.
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00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,826
I'm mad at you, Sheldon.
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00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:19,347
Hmm. Eat one of
your Luna bars.
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00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:22,784
Very often when women
think they're angry,
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00:08:22,786 --> 00:08:25,153
they're really just hungry.
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00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:27,705
I'm not hungry.
193
00:08:28,774 --> 00:08:30,708
Your friend insulted me,
and you didn't do anything.
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00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:35,446
Precisely, I didn't
do anything.
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00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:38,566
Now does someone feel like
checking her emotional math?
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00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:41,786
Keep going, buddy,
you're doing great.
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00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:43,371
Sheldon, I'm your girlfriend,
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00:08:43,373 --> 00:08:45,256
and you should have
taken my side.
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00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:48,760
That's it. End of story.
Good night.
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00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:54,432
Wow, Amy's mad
and Leonard was right.
201
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,135
What a weird day.
202
00:08:59,388 --> 00:09:01,088
Hey. Sorry this took so long.
203
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,725
But you used to work here,
you know how it is.
204
00:09:03,727 --> 00:09:05,393
Kitchen slammed again?
205
00:09:05,395 --> 00:09:08,146
No, I'm a terrible waitress,
remember?
206
00:09:09,448 --> 00:09:10,598
So, is there anything I can do
207
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:11,932
to help you with the move
tomorrow?
208
00:09:11,934 --> 00:09:13,201
Now that you mention it,
209
00:09:13,203 --> 00:09:16,320
I was thinking tomorrow
might not be great.
210
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,573
What's your excuse this time?
211
00:09:18,575 --> 00:09:22,293
No excuse. It's just, you know,
I'm Jewish, and technically,
212
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:24,829
we're not supposed to drive or
carry anything on the Sabbath.
213
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:28,216
So this one's on God.
214
00:09:28,218 --> 00:09:29,617
That might be
a little more convincing
215
00:09:29,619 --> 00:09:32,603
if you didn't have a mouthful
of bacon cheeseburger.
216
00:09:32,605 --> 00:09:35,790
My religion's kinda
loosey-goosey.
217
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,975
Basically, as long as you got
your schmekel clipped
218
00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,078
and don't wear a cross,
you're good.
219
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:43,931
Howie, you promised you'd move.
220
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,183
And I will.
221
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:46,517
Yeah, right.
222
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:48,986
I will. I'm obviously not going
to live in my mother's house
223
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:51,656
for the rest of my life.
I'm not a child.
224
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,959
I've seen her burp you.
225
00:09:56,495 --> 00:09:58,396
She did not burp me.
226
00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:01,966
She was patting me on the back,
and I happened to burp.
227
00:10:03,985 --> 00:10:06,654
Don't you have other tables
you should be waiting on?
228
00:10:06,656 --> 00:10:09,757
Yeah, but I told you,
I'm not good at my job.
229
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:10,842
Bernadette,
listen to me.
230
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:11,959
He is never gonna leave.
231
00:10:11,961 --> 00:10:13,961
I'm starting to think
you're right.
232
00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:15,630
All right,
I've had enough of this.
233
00:10:15,632 --> 00:10:18,216
I'm a grown man,
I have a successful career.
234
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,768
For the love of God,
I've been to space!
235
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,386
I will move out when I'm ready,
236
00:10:22,388 --> 00:10:24,722
and I don't need anyone
badgering me into it!
237
00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:28,342
Wow, excuse me.
238
00:10:29,177 --> 00:10:30,845
That was just for her benefit.
239
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,814
I'll move tomorrow. I love you.
Don't leave me.
240
00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:39,520
Amy.
241
00:10:39,522 --> 00:10:41,522
Amy.
242
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:43,908
Angry Amy.
243
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:46,127
What?
244
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:48,579
I've been thinking about
what happened,
245
00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,832
and I hope this gift
246
00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:52,917
will make things better.
247
00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:57,972
Star Trek DVDs?
248
00:10:57,974 --> 00:10:59,223
Why would I want this?
249
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,425
First of all, you're welcome.
250
00:11:02,427 --> 00:11:04,378
Furthermore, not being familiar
251
00:11:04,380 --> 00:11:05,813
with Wil Wheaton's body of work,
252
00:11:05,815 --> 00:11:07,398
there was no way for you to know
253
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,267
you were being rude
to a national treasure.
254
00:11:10,602 --> 00:11:14,038
Get ready for 130 hours
of "I told you so."
255
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:19,076
Fine.
256
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,729
I'll just tell you what happens.
257
00:11:21,731 --> 00:11:24,732
Episode one,
"Encounter at Farpoint."
258
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,033
Fade in.
259
00:11:26,035 --> 00:11:28,920
The new Enterprise heads out
on its maiden voyage
260
00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,622
to contact the Bandi people
of Deneb IV.
261
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:34,709
Enter Wesley Crusher,
played by my buddy...
262
00:11:39,298 --> 00:11:41,516
She's hooked.
263
00:11:49,193 --> 00:11:50,227
Wow.
264
00:11:50,228 --> 00:11:51,977
An end of an era.
265
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,145
(sighs)
266
00:11:53,147 --> 00:11:56,999
Boy, if these walls could talk.
267
00:11:57,001 --> 00:12:00,620
They'd say, "Why does he
touch himself so much?"
268
00:12:05,209 --> 00:12:06,926
Yeah.
269
00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:12,532
I can't believe I'm not going
to live here anymore.
270
00:12:12,534 --> 00:12:15,885
This has always been my bedroom.
271
00:12:15,887 --> 00:12:19,305
Right here is where my mom
used to mark my height.
272
00:12:19,307 --> 00:12:21,006
Oh, yeah.
273
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,425
Fifth grade.
274
00:12:22,427 --> 00:12:23,860
Sixth grade.
275
00:12:23,862 --> 00:12:25,144
Seventh grade.
276
00:12:25,146 --> 00:12:26,279
Eighth grade.
277
00:12:26,281 --> 00:12:28,614
Ninth grade.
278
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,818
I remember when I was five,
279
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:35,822
hiding under this desk
with all my Halloween candy.
280
00:12:35,824 --> 00:12:37,189
Had some Peanut M&M'S,
281
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,376
went into my first
anaphylactic shock
282
00:12:40,378 --> 00:12:44,080
and had to be rushed
to the hospital.
283
00:12:44,082 --> 00:12:46,082
Came home,
celebrated with a Snickers,
284
00:12:46,084 --> 00:12:48,000
went into my second
anaphylactic shock.
285
00:12:49,119 --> 00:12:52,171
When did you figure out
you were allergic to nuts?
286
00:12:52,173 --> 00:12:54,340
Sometime
around the third Almond Joy.
287
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,709
Okay.
288
00:12:56,711 --> 00:12:58,845
You want to start loading
this stuff into the truck?
289
00:12:58,847 --> 00:13:00,546
Yeah, I guess.
290
00:13:00,548 --> 00:13:02,782
Hey, would you do me a favor?
291
00:13:02,784 --> 00:13:04,016
Go on ahead.
292
00:13:04,018 --> 00:13:08,554
I just want one last moment
alone in my old room.
293
00:13:08,556 --> 00:13:10,573
We're not standing outside
by the U-Haul
294
00:13:10,575 --> 00:13:12,742
while you fondle yourself.
295
00:13:12,744 --> 00:13:14,911
(scoffs)
296
00:13:14,913 --> 00:13:16,829
Fine, let's go.
297
00:13:23,337 --> 00:13:24,620
Hey.
298
00:13:24,622 --> 00:13:26,205
What brings you in?
299
00:13:26,207 --> 00:13:27,924
Penny, if you wouldn't mind,
300
00:13:27,926 --> 00:13:31,928
I'd like to have a conversation
about girls.
301
00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:35,481
I had a feeling we'd have a
talk like this sooner or later.
302
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:40,586
Are you finally getting
fuzz in weird places?
303
00:13:40,588 --> 00:13:42,087
Penny, please,
304
00:13:42,089 --> 00:13:44,290
I'm on the horns
of a relationship dilemma.
305
00:13:44,292 --> 00:13:46,609
And for the record,
I had a full pubis of hair
306
00:13:46,611 --> 00:13:49,228
by the time I was 19.
307
00:13:49,230 --> 00:13:51,447
And for the record...
308
00:13:51,449 --> 00:13:53,666
(vomiting noises)
309
00:13:54,685 --> 00:13:56,068
So what are you drinking?
310
00:13:56,070 --> 00:13:57,820
Well, it's been a rough day.
311
00:13:57,822 --> 00:13:59,271
I usually go chamomile tea,
312
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:01,140
but I don't think
that's going to cut it.
313
00:14:01,142 --> 00:14:04,360
You could have a
Long Island Iced Tea.
314
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:10,650
Will that calm my nerves?
315
00:14:10,652 --> 00:14:14,253
It's calmed the pants
off me a couple of times.
316
00:14:14,255 --> 00:14:15,905
Sold.
317
00:14:15,907 --> 00:14:18,758
Oh.
318
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,161
So, the heart you got from
the wizard giving you trouble?
319
00:14:22,163 --> 00:14:24,129
The trouble isn't with me,
Penny,
320
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:25,648
it's with your gender.
321
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:27,066
Someday,
scientists will discover
322
00:14:27,068 --> 00:14:29,068
that second X chromosome
contains nothing
323
00:14:29,070 --> 00:14:31,787
but nonsense and twaddle.
324
00:14:31,789 --> 00:14:33,940
Yeah, Amy told me what happened.
325
00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:35,324
Look, just apologize.
326
00:14:35,326 --> 00:14:36,943
It'll warm her twaddle.
327
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:38,444
(groans)
328
00:14:38,446 --> 00:14:40,162
It's a Band-Aid at best.
329
00:14:40,164 --> 00:14:43,866
The core problem is that Amy
and Wil do not like each other.
330
00:14:43,868 --> 00:14:47,620
Which is baffling because
they're both crazy about me.
331
00:14:48,772 --> 00:14:49,989
And I like them,
332
00:14:49,991 --> 00:14:52,124
which indicates
they're bright and interesting
333
00:14:52,126 --> 00:14:54,710
and/or were on Star Trek.
334
00:14:54,712 --> 00:14:57,830
Honey, you can't make
people like each other.
335
00:14:57,832 --> 00:14:59,181
Not true.
336
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:00,883
Leonard made me like you.
337
00:15:00,885 --> 00:15:03,853
And let me tell you,
that was a hard row to hoe.
338
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,306
Cheers, pal.
339
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:10,509
Ooh.
340
00:15:10,511 --> 00:15:14,363
Boy, that is a treat
that's hard to beat.
341
00:15:15,632 --> 00:15:18,851
Get the Mad Hatter on the horn,
I'm having a tea party.
342
00:15:24,374 --> 00:15:26,125
You might want to pace yourself.
343
00:15:26,127 --> 00:15:28,160
I drink tea all the time.
344
00:15:28,162 --> 00:15:30,830
I think I know what I'm doing.
345
00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:34,667
Far be it from me to criticize
a man with a full pubis.
346
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,038
Look, Sheldon, your problem
is not Wil Wheaton, okay?
347
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,823
Your problem is the way
you treated Amy.
348
00:15:40,825 --> 00:15:44,060
(slurps)
My problem is I'm out of tea.
349
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,063
Come on, someone insulted
350
00:15:47,065 --> 00:15:49,015
your girlfriend and
you just let him do it.
351
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:51,567
I thought you Texas guys
stood up for your womenfolk.
352
00:15:51,569 --> 00:15:53,486
Penny, please,
353
00:15:53,488 --> 00:15:56,672
I think I've evolved beyond
my simple rustic upbringing.
354
00:15:56,674 --> 00:15:58,390
Sorry.
355
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:01,627
On the other hand, that low-down
polecat done wronged my woman.
356
00:16:05,032 --> 00:16:07,199
Welcome to Long Island, Tex.
357
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:10,953
Amy deserves better.
358
00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:13,622
You know, when we buy
the Planter's deluxe mix,
359
00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:17,176
she eats all the Brazil nuts
so I don't have to look at them.
360
00:16:18,378 --> 00:16:22,114
She's a unique blend
of saint and squirrel.
361
00:16:22,116 --> 00:16:23,916
Yeah, that she is.
362
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:24,900
Here you go.
363
00:16:24,902 --> 00:16:26,802
I'm a callous egomaniac.
364
00:16:26,804 --> 00:16:28,587
She's gonna leave me.
365
00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:29,705
No, she won't.
366
00:16:29,707 --> 00:16:31,924
No, she won't. I'm great.
367
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:41,801
(exhales)
368
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:45,237
Okay, I have now
369
00:16:45,239 --> 00:16:47,790
officially moved
out of my mother's house.
370
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,825
You are now the only woman
in my life
371
00:16:49,827 --> 00:16:52,094
who I'll see naked
in the bathroom.
372
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:54,413
I know this wasn't easy.
373
00:16:54,415 --> 00:16:55,698
You doing okay?
374
00:16:55,700 --> 00:16:57,282
Oh, I'm fine.
375
00:16:57,284 --> 00:16:59,135
It's just her I'm worried about.
376
00:16:59,137 --> 00:17:00,920
Aw, she'll be okay.
377
00:17:00,922 --> 00:17:02,872
She's a grown woman.
I know.
378
00:17:02,874 --> 00:17:04,957
It's just
ever since my dad left,
379
00:17:04,959 --> 00:17:07,426
I've felt responsible for her.
380
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:10,012
That's a lot for a
kid to deal with.
381
00:17:10,014 --> 00:17:13,115
She was just so sad
all the time.
382
00:17:13,117 --> 00:17:16,352
Yeah, I was the only person
who could cheer her up.
383
00:17:16,354 --> 00:17:18,754
Well, me and Ben and Jerry.
384
00:17:18,756 --> 00:17:22,408
She's lucky you were there.
385
00:17:24,194 --> 00:17:27,246
You know, she's why
I first got into magic.
386
00:17:27,248 --> 00:17:28,998
I would do little shows
for her,
387
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,701
hang up a bedsheet
like it was a curtain,
388
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:35,037
put on a top hat and cape.
389
00:17:35,039 --> 00:17:36,455
And part way through the act,
390
00:17:36,457 --> 00:17:40,209
I would say I needed a volunteer
from the audience
391
00:17:40,211 --> 00:17:42,995
to be my beautiful assistant
392
00:17:42,997 --> 00:17:45,765
and invite her up on stage.
393
00:17:45,767 --> 00:17:49,501
I can still remember
the way she'd smile.
394
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,188
For a few minutes,
she'd...
395
00:17:52,190 --> 00:17:55,057
forget how lonely she was.
396
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:56,692
(sighs)
397
00:17:56,694 --> 00:17:58,611
Aw, crap.
398
00:17:58,613 --> 00:18:00,329
Let's go.
399
00:18:00,331 --> 00:18:02,514
Where we going?
400
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:03,783
Grab a box.
401
00:18:03,785 --> 00:18:05,618
We'll sleep
at your mother's place tonight.
402
00:18:05,620 --> 00:18:07,470
No, but I want to live here.
403
00:18:07,472 --> 00:18:08,854
Well, you should've
thought of that
404
00:18:08,856 --> 00:18:11,707
before you told me
the stupid magic trick story.
405
00:18:11,709 --> 00:18:14,210
Can't we talk about this?
406
00:18:14,212 --> 00:18:17,830
No husband of mine is gonna
break his mother's heart!
407
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:27,206
Wil Wheaton!
408
00:18:27,208 --> 00:18:30,209
Wil Wheaton!
409
00:18:30,211 --> 00:18:32,361
Wait, how many was that?
410
00:18:34,731 --> 00:18:36,182
Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
411
00:18:36,184 --> 00:18:39,935
Wouldn't you like to know?
412
00:18:39,937 --> 00:18:41,403
Have you been drinking?
413
00:18:41,405 --> 00:18:44,190
Just tea.
414
00:18:44,192 --> 00:18:48,093
The best tea I've ever had.
415
00:18:48,095 --> 00:18:50,079
Why are you here?
416
00:18:50,081 --> 00:18:51,864
I'll tell you.
417
00:18:51,866 --> 00:18:53,866
I'm from Texas.
418
00:18:53,868 --> 00:18:57,570
Need I say more?
419
00:18:57,572 --> 00:19:01,357
Yeah, actually, a little more
would be helpful.
420
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,092
You insulted my woman.
421
00:19:03,094 --> 00:19:05,511
I'm here to defend her honor.
422
00:19:05,513 --> 00:19:07,746
Two! It was two.
423
00:19:07,748 --> 00:19:10,599
Wil Wheaton!
424
00:19:12,235 --> 00:19:14,770
Now prepare yourself
425
00:19:14,772 --> 00:19:17,940
for what may come.
426
00:19:17,942 --> 00:19:21,443
Oh, Sheldon, do you really
think we're gonna fight?
427
00:19:21,445 --> 00:19:23,195
My fists are not up here
428
00:19:23,197 --> 00:19:27,066
because I'm milking a
giant invisible cow.
429
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:31,320
They're up to beat an
apology out of you.
430
00:19:31,322 --> 00:19:33,472
Okay, I'm sorry.
431
00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:37,243
Well, that was a long bus
ride for not very much.
432
00:19:37,245 --> 00:19:39,411
Are you okay?
433
00:19:39,413 --> 00:19:41,446
You're asking a lot of
questions, Wil Wheaton.
434
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:44,049
As a matter of
idle curiosity,
435
00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:46,669
which of your
shrubberies do you feel
436
00:19:46,671 --> 00:19:48,888
would benefit from
a thorough vomiting?
437
00:19:48,890 --> 00:19:50,923
Never mind, I'll choose.
438
00:19:53,143 --> 00:19:55,344
(vomiting)
439
00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,848
You were so good in Stand by Me.
440
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,051
(vomiting)
441
00:20:05,882 --> 00:20:08,884
Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
442
00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:12,588
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper
Presents: Fun with Flags.
443
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:16,158
Get ready
for a very special episode
444
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,793
where we explore the flags
445
00:20:17,795 --> 00:20:19,361
of the popular
entertainment franchise,
446
00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:20,342
Star Trek.
447
00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:23,377
And to help us, I'm pleased
to introduce a special guest--
448
00:20:23,379 --> 00:20:25,479
surprisingly,
it only took gas money
449
00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:27,682
and the promise of free food
to get him here--
450
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,017
Mr. LeVar Burton.
451
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:33,721
Hey, Sheldon,
it's a pleasure to be here.
452
00:20:33,723 --> 00:20:36,140
Well, we've got some interesting flags for...
AMY: Cut!
453
00:20:38,593 --> 00:20:41,829
Yikes, this guy is worse
than Wil Wheaton.
454
00:20:44,182 --> 00:20:46,467
I don't know what
she's talking about,
455
00:20:46,469 --> 00:20:48,569
but I'm obligated
to agree with her.
456
00:20:48,571 --> 00:20:49,737
She's my girlfriend.
457
00:20:49,739 --> 00:20:51,572
Ah, I hear you, brother.
458
00:20:52,074 --> 00:20:54,908
I still get lunch, right?
459
00:20:54,910 --> 00:20:59,910
== sync, corrected by elderman ==