1
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,484
What you doing?
2
00:00:05,486 --> 00:00:06,618
You said clean up.
3
00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:08,820
I'm cleaning up.
4
00:00:09,989 --> 00:00:11,856
You can't just throw
everything in the closet.
5
00:00:11,858 --> 00:00:13,075
Hey, you can tell me
6
00:00:13,077 --> 00:00:15,794
what to do
or you can tell me how to do it,
7
00:00:15,796 --> 00:00:19,131
but you can't do both;
this isn't sex.
8
00:00:20,717 --> 00:00:22,718
What if someone looks in there?
9
00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:24,252
They're just coming
over for dinner.
10
00:00:24,254 --> 00:00:25,837
No one's gonna
look in the closet.
11
00:00:25,839 --> 00:00:26,972
Well, you don't know that.
12
00:00:26,974 --> 00:00:28,256
What if someone's
looking for the bathroom
13
00:00:28,258 --> 00:00:29,307
and they open that door?
14
00:00:29,309 --> 00:00:30,509
Could work out.
15
00:00:30,511 --> 00:00:31,743
For all we know,
16
00:00:31,745 --> 00:00:33,612
there's a toilet
in there somewhere.
17
00:00:33,614 --> 00:00:35,564
Fine. But after tonight,
18
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:37,566
we need to get a handle
on this mess.
19
00:00:37,568 --> 00:00:38,684
You know what we should do?
20
00:00:38,686 --> 00:00:39,923
We should show the
closet to Sheldon.
21
00:00:39,948 --> 00:00:40,653
Why?
22
00:00:40,654 --> 00:00:41,853
Are you kidding?
23
00:00:41,855 --> 00:00:43,822
He's like a savant
at organizing.
24
00:00:43,824 --> 00:00:45,991
Everything in his apartment
has a label on it.
25
00:00:45,993 --> 00:00:48,026
Including his label maker,
which has a label
26
00:00:48,028 --> 00:00:49,528
that says "Label Maker."
27
00:00:51,247 --> 00:00:53,281
And if you look really close
at that label maker label,
28
00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:56,401
you'll see a label
that says "Label."
29
00:00:56,403 --> 00:00:58,570
He's our guest;
we can't just ask him
30
00:00:58,572 --> 00:00:59,921
to straighten our closet.
31
00:00:59,923 --> 00:01:02,073
No, we wouldn't ask him.
32
00:01:02,075 --> 00:01:04,593
We'd just show him the closet
33
00:01:04,595 --> 00:01:07,546
and let the goblins in his head
take it from there.
34
00:01:08,748 --> 00:01:10,549
Hey, guys, come on in.
35
00:01:10,551 --> 00:01:11,767
Hi.
Hi.
36
00:01:11,769 --> 00:01:14,269
Ooh, it smells good.
Thanks.
37
00:01:14,271 --> 00:01:16,638
And, Sheldon, I know tonight's
the night you eat Thai food,
38
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,724
so I went to the Asian market,
got all the ingredients
39
00:01:18,726 --> 00:01:19,775
and made it from scratch.
40
00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:21,810
Oh, you shouldn't have.
41
00:01:21,812 --> 00:01:23,311
Oh, it's my pleasure.
42
00:01:23,313 --> 00:01:25,280
No, you really shouldn't have.
43
00:01:25,282 --> 00:01:27,699
I brought my own.
44
00:01:27,701 --> 00:01:30,285
You stopped
and got him takeout?
45
00:01:30,287 --> 00:01:31,286
I had no choice.
46
00:01:31,288 --> 00:01:33,772
He kept kicking
the back of my seat.
47
00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:35,991
Sheldon, I've been
cooking all day.
48
00:01:35,993 --> 00:01:38,710
Well... now don't you
feel silly.
49
00:01:40,747 --> 00:01:42,781
Show him the closet.
50
00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:47,085
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
51
00:01:47,087 --> 00:01:51,089
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
52
00:01:51,091 --> 00:01:52,624
♪ The Earth began to cool
53
00:01:52,626 --> 00:01:55,143
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
54
00:01:55,145 --> 00:01:57,329
♪ We built the Wall
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
55
00:01:57,331 --> 00:02:00,065
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
56
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:01,933
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
57
00:02:01,935 --> 00:02:03,359
♪ Bang! ♪
58
00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,460
♪ The Big Bang Theory 6x19 ♪
The Closet Reconfiguration
Original Air Date on March 13, 2013
59
00:02:06,461 --> 00:02:09,461
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
60
00:02:09,465 --> 00:02:12,117
These spring rolls are amazing.
61
00:02:12,119 --> 00:02:13,335
Good job, Bernadette.
62
00:02:13,337 --> 00:02:16,471
That's the takeout
that Sheldon brought.
63
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:21,343
Oh, well, I'm sure
they wouldn't have tasted
64
00:02:21,345 --> 00:02:23,995
nearly as good if I hadn't tried
your food first.
65
00:02:27,867 --> 00:02:30,719
Howard, did you want
your clothes arranged
66
00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:32,504
seasonally or by color?
67
00:02:32,506 --> 00:02:33,639
Color's fine.
68
00:02:33,641 --> 00:02:35,607
Wrong, they'll be
arranged seasonally.
69
00:02:37,193 --> 00:02:39,394
Sheldon, aren't you gonna spend
a little time with Amy?
70
00:02:39,396 --> 00:02:40,862
Oh, it's okay, I'm used to it.
71
00:02:40,864 --> 00:02:43,014
The other day at Whole Foods,
he spent an hour
72
00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:45,484
optimizing the cheese aisle.
73
00:02:45,486 --> 00:02:46,702
Yeah, and some thanks I got.
74
00:02:46,704 --> 00:02:48,520
The assistant manager
chased me out
75
00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:50,522
with an artisanal salami.
76
00:02:51,824 --> 00:02:55,026
His quirks
just make you love him more.
77
00:02:56,713 --> 00:02:58,697
Someone please agree with me.
78
00:03:04,253 --> 00:03:05,304
Sheldon, come on.
79
00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:06,638
It's getting late.
Time to go.
80
00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:09,558
Oh, five more minutes.
81
00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,593
That's what you said
five minutes ago.
82
00:03:11,595 --> 00:03:13,312
Amy and Penny
are already in the car.
83
00:03:13,314 --> 00:03:14,429
Let's move it.
84
00:03:14,431 --> 00:03:17,849
How come I never get to do
anything I want to do?
85
00:03:17,851 --> 00:03:19,818
You know, if he really wants
to stay and finish,
86
00:03:19,820 --> 00:03:21,219
I can give him
a ride home.
87
00:03:21,221 --> 00:03:24,272
Please, Leonard!
He said it's okay!
88
00:03:24,274 --> 00:03:25,324
Sheldon, it's--
89
00:03:25,326 --> 00:03:27,726
Wait, I can go home
without you? Bye!
90
00:03:29,779 --> 00:03:32,447
Howard, I have
a few questions.
91
00:03:32,449 --> 00:03:35,083
I found three
bowling pins.
92
00:03:35,085 --> 00:03:39,571
Now, do you juggle these,
or are you missing seven?
93
00:03:39,573 --> 00:03:40,922
Juggle.
94
00:03:40,924 --> 00:03:42,874
You health nuts kill me.
95
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,798
Oh, my God,
it's beautiful!
96
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,634
Look, he found the
juggling pins I hid.
97
00:03:52,636 --> 00:03:54,770
Uh, just a couple
more items.
98
00:03:54,772 --> 00:03:57,189
Howard, I found this letter
from your dad in a box.
99
00:03:57,191 --> 00:03:58,473
Now, based on
the content,
100
00:03:58,475 --> 00:04:00,425
it could either be filed...
101
00:04:00,427 --> 00:04:01,943
Whoa, you opened this?
102
00:04:01,945 --> 00:04:03,895
Well, I had to find out if
it was personal correspondence
103
00:04:03,897 --> 00:04:05,764
or memorabilia.
Now, as I was saying,
104
00:04:05,766 --> 00:04:08,099
based on the content...
I couldn't be less interested.
105
00:04:10,003 --> 00:04:12,537
Now, come on,
I'll take you home.
106
00:04:12,539 --> 00:04:14,206
Howard, don't you want to
know what's in the letter?
107
00:04:14,208 --> 00:04:16,408
If I wanted to know,
I would've opened it years ago.
108
00:04:17,276 --> 00:04:19,161
The closet looks great.
109
00:04:19,163 --> 00:04:20,495
Let's get out of here.
110
00:04:20,497 --> 00:04:22,130
Wait, can I
bring this box
111
00:04:22,132 --> 00:04:24,750
of extra shirt buttons
to sort on the ride?
112
00:04:24,752 --> 00:04:27,669
Do whatever you want.
113
00:04:27,671 --> 00:04:29,120
Thanks.
114
00:04:29,922 --> 00:04:30,922
Oh.
115
00:04:30,924 --> 00:04:32,474
Great party.
116
00:04:36,896 --> 00:04:38,346
You know, when I
first met Howard,
117
00:04:38,348 --> 00:04:40,348
he would pull his scrotum
out of his shorts
118
00:04:40,350 --> 00:04:42,634
and say, "Oh,
I sat in gum."
119
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,725
What is your point?
120
00:04:49,727 --> 00:04:52,027
Well, it's just kind of weird
how grown up he is now.
121
00:04:52,029 --> 00:04:54,246
Happily married guy
throwing dinner parties.
122
00:04:54,248 --> 00:04:55,831
Really? You couldn't
just say that?
123
00:04:55,833 --> 00:04:58,033
You had to tell
the scrotum story?
124
00:04:59,952 --> 00:05:02,454
Trying to paint a picture.
125
00:05:03,289 --> 00:05:05,674
Yeah, it was
a nice change of pace
126
00:05:05,676 --> 00:05:07,659
not eating takeout
around a coffee table.
127
00:05:07,661 --> 00:05:10,328
Mm, you know, we could
throw a dinner party, too.
128
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,431
Maybe even ask everyone
to get dressed up.
129
00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:13,381
Sure.
130
00:05:13,383 --> 00:05:14,883
Just, when you say
"dressed up,"
131
00:05:14,885 --> 00:05:16,167
you mean
nice clothes, right?
132
00:05:16,169 --> 00:05:18,053
Not, like, capes
and tights and crap?
133
00:05:19,856 --> 00:05:21,773
Yeah.
134
00:05:21,775 --> 00:05:22,941
Although...
135
00:05:22,943 --> 00:05:24,476
No!
136
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:32,350
Howie, you okay?
137
00:05:32,352 --> 00:05:35,570
Yeah, I just...
couldn't sleep.
138
00:05:35,572 --> 00:05:37,823
Told you you shouldn't
have espresso after dinner.
139
00:05:37,825 --> 00:05:40,275
I know the little cups
make you feel big,
140
00:05:40,277 --> 00:05:42,828
but it's not worth it.
141
00:05:44,747 --> 00:05:46,248
It's this stupid letter.
142
00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,666
Did you read it?
143
00:05:47,668 --> 00:05:49,217
No.
144
00:05:49,219 --> 00:05:50,969
You must be curious.
145
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:52,387
Of course I'm curious.
146
00:05:52,389 --> 00:05:54,840
I haven't seen
the man since,
147
00:05:54,842 --> 00:05:56,925
oh, I was a little kid.
148
00:05:56,927 --> 00:05:59,761
And a letter shows up
on my 18th birthday?
149
00:05:59,763 --> 00:06:01,563
What's that about?
150
00:06:01,565 --> 00:06:03,047
Why don't you read it?
151
00:06:03,049 --> 00:06:06,234
Maybe he apologizes or
explains why he left.
152
00:06:06,236 --> 00:06:08,186
He abandoned
me and my mother.
153
00:06:08,188 --> 00:06:13,057
Why does he deserve
a chance to explain anything?
154
00:06:13,059 --> 00:06:15,193
I get that.
155
00:06:15,195 --> 00:06:17,579
So, what do you
want to do with it?
156
00:06:17,581 --> 00:06:20,949
Something I should've done
a long time ago.
157
00:06:23,753 --> 00:06:25,453
Really? Are you sure?
158
00:06:25,455 --> 00:06:27,672
Yep.
159
00:06:34,965 --> 00:06:36,298
Feel better?
160
00:06:36,300 --> 00:06:38,099
I do.
161
00:06:41,954 --> 00:06:43,104
Great.
162
00:06:43,106 --> 00:06:46,424
Neither one of us is
tall enough to reach that.
163
00:06:52,064 --> 00:06:54,816
I can't believe
he set it on fire.
164
00:06:54,818 --> 00:06:57,652
Yeah, just seeing that letter
really freaked him out.
165
00:06:57,654 --> 00:06:59,704
And he was already
having a tough day
166
00:06:59,706 --> 00:07:02,874
'cause he accidentally wore
my pants to work.
167
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:09,047
I don't know why he was upset.
168
00:07:09,049 --> 00:07:11,449
They were bigger on him than me.
169
00:07:13,719 --> 00:07:15,370
Boy, I'm really curious
what's in that letter.
170
00:07:15,372 --> 00:07:17,756
Me, too, but I guess
now we'll never know.
171
00:07:17,758 --> 00:07:19,090
Well, you said Sheldon read it.
172
00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:20,225
Why not ask him?
173
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:21,259
I can't do that.
174
00:07:21,261 --> 00:07:22,727
What kind of wife would I be
175
00:07:22,729 --> 00:07:24,429
if I didn't respect
my husband's privacy?
176
00:07:24,431 --> 00:07:25,463
What if I ask Sheldon,
177
00:07:25,465 --> 00:07:26,932
you just happen to be
in the room?
178
00:07:26,934 --> 00:07:28,817
That works.
Okay.
179
00:07:49,789 --> 00:07:51,406
Blech.
180
00:07:53,492 --> 00:07:56,661
Like cleaning out the entire
building's belly button.
181
00:07:58,497 --> 00:08:00,682
Hey, Sheldon.
182
00:08:00,684 --> 00:08:02,801
Oh, hello.
What can I do for you ladies?
183
00:08:02,803 --> 00:08:04,970
You have
something we want.
184
00:08:04,972 --> 00:08:07,171
Oh, dear.
185
00:08:07,173 --> 00:08:08,523
My mother warned me
186
00:08:08,525 --> 00:08:11,943
this is what happens
to pretty boys in the big city.
187
00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:15,030
No, we just
want information.
188
00:08:15,032 --> 00:08:16,081
Oh.
189
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:17,532
Oh, I've got that in spades.
190
00:08:17,534 --> 00:08:19,034
Ravage me.
191
00:08:20,319 --> 00:08:22,787
We heard you read the letter
from Howard's father.
192
00:08:22,789 --> 00:08:23,822
I did.
193
00:08:23,824 --> 00:08:24,756
What did it say?
194
00:08:24,758 --> 00:08:25,740
Yeah...
195
00:08:25,742 --> 00:08:27,325
I can't tell you that.
196
00:08:27,327 --> 00:08:31,362
I'm bound by closet organizer/
organizee confidentiality.
197
00:08:32,798 --> 00:08:34,699
Sheldon, that's
not a real thing.
198
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:36,551
Well, neither is the rule
that you have to
199
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:38,086
hold your girlfriend's hand
at the movies.
200
00:08:38,088 --> 00:08:39,537
You know.
201
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,423
That doesn't stop you
from pawing at me
202
00:08:41,425 --> 00:08:44,342
like you're a bear and I'm
a trash can full of sweets.
203
00:08:46,378 --> 00:08:48,212
Why do you even care?
204
00:08:48,214 --> 00:08:49,514
Just tell us what it says.
205
00:08:49,516 --> 00:08:51,983
Control over the information
contained in that letter
206
00:08:51,985 --> 00:08:53,018
belongs to Howard.
207
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:54,452
By happenstance,
208
00:08:54,454 --> 00:08:55,937
I came to know it.
209
00:08:55,939 --> 00:08:58,389
That doesn't give me the right
to disseminate it freely.
210
00:08:58,391 --> 00:09:00,575
Come on. Look, the letter was
found in Bernadette's closet.
211
00:09:00,577 --> 00:09:02,027
Doesn't that count
for something?
212
00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:05,864
Are you pointing out
that California
213
00:09:05,866 --> 00:09:07,332
is a community property state,
214
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:09,617
and since Howard and Bernadette
are married,
215
00:09:09,619 --> 00:09:11,836
the intellectual property
contained in that letter
216
00:09:11,838 --> 00:09:13,872
is jointly owned
by the two spouses?
217
00:09:19,712 --> 00:09:22,213
Yeah, obviously.
218
00:09:22,215 --> 00:09:24,883
Well played.
219
00:09:26,552 --> 00:09:29,771
Sometimes I don't give you
enough credit, Penny.
220
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:32,807
Dude, you made
the right choice
221
00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:34,676
coming to me for help
with this party.
222
00:09:34,678 --> 00:09:37,595
Actually, all I did
was invite you.
223
00:09:37,597 --> 00:09:40,565
Well, put your mind at ease.
224
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,450
I'm here to make sure
your dinner party
225
00:09:42,452 --> 00:09:44,235
kicks Howard's
dinner party's ass.
226
00:09:44,237 --> 00:09:45,436
Now, the first thing
227
00:09:45,438 --> 00:09:47,405
we need is a theme.
228
00:09:47,407 --> 00:09:48,907
I'm thinking...
229
00:09:48,909 --> 00:09:51,409
ah, turn-of-the-century
Moulin Rouge.
230
00:09:53,162 --> 00:09:57,632
I'm thinking you need
a testosterone patch.
231
00:09:57,634 --> 00:09:59,267
Penny and I
232
00:09:59,269 --> 00:10:00,835
just want to do
something low-key.
233
00:10:00,837 --> 00:10:02,303
You know, cocktails,
234
00:10:02,305 --> 00:10:03,888
light jazz music,
hors d'oeuvres.
235
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:07,208
So your theme is
"I saw a rerun of Mad Men
236
00:10:07,210 --> 00:10:10,578
and bought some crab puffs
from Trader Joe's"?
237
00:10:11,981 --> 00:10:13,815
Hate to miss that.
238
00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:16,935
Hey, where have you been?
239
00:10:16,937 --> 00:10:19,687
Oh, Leonard.
240
00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:21,773
If I was prone to sarcasm,
241
00:10:21,775 --> 00:10:23,942
I'd say I was pulling off
a major heist
242
00:10:23,944 --> 00:10:26,945
at the museum
of laundry baskets.
243
00:10:26,947 --> 00:10:29,697
One, two, three, four, five,
244
00:10:29,699 --> 00:10:31,916
six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
245
00:10:33,336 --> 00:10:36,421
I meant, "Golly, Sheldon,
you've been gone a long time."
246
00:10:36,423 --> 00:10:40,658
Oh. Yeah, well, I was waylaid
by Penny, Bernadette and Amy.
247
00:10:40,660 --> 00:10:42,794
They made me reveal
confidential information
248
00:10:42,796 --> 00:10:44,328
about Howard's father.
249
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,496
What information?
250
00:10:45,498 --> 00:10:47,382
I can't tell you that.
251
00:10:47,384 --> 00:10:51,719
I am bound by closet organizer/
organizee confidentiality.
252
00:10:51,721 --> 00:10:54,055
Well, come on,
we won't tell anyone.
253
00:10:54,057 --> 00:10:55,506
Sorry, badgering me won't work.
254
00:10:55,508 --> 00:10:57,008
What you should have said is,
255
00:10:57,010 --> 00:10:58,476
"It's pointless
to keep this a secret
256
00:10:58,478 --> 00:10:59,694
because Penny will tell us."
257
00:10:59,696 --> 00:11:03,198
Fine, then that.
All right, I'll tell you.
258
00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,701
My goodness,
everyone's on their game today.
259
00:11:09,898 --> 00:11:11,949
This is really fun.
260
00:11:11,951 --> 00:11:14,401
Yeah, it's nice to get
dressed up once in a while.
261
00:11:14,403 --> 00:11:16,087
Yeah, and hors d'oeuvres
are delightful.
262
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:18,289
As is the company.
Aw.
263
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:21,125
My shirt is itchy
and I wish I were dead.
264
00:11:23,478 --> 00:11:25,513
Hey, uh, listen,
everybody.
265
00:11:25,515 --> 00:11:27,131
Before Howard gets here,
let's all just agree
266
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:28,966
to not bring up the letter
from his father.
267
00:11:28,968 --> 00:11:30,184
Of course.
Sure. Absolutely.
268
00:11:30,186 --> 00:11:31,635
If I say yes,
269
00:11:31,637 --> 00:11:34,388
can we turn off
that Latin orgy music?
270
00:11:35,273 --> 00:11:37,141
Ridiculous that we
still have to walk
271
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:39,060
up all these
flights of stairs.
272
00:11:39,062 --> 00:11:41,696
Yeah, try doing it
in heels.
273
00:11:41,698 --> 00:11:44,398
I am.
274
00:11:45,266 --> 00:11:47,318
Wait.
275
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,936
There's something
I have to tell you.
276
00:11:48,938 --> 00:11:50,037
What?
277
00:11:50,039 --> 00:11:52,790
I know what was
in your dad's letter.
278
00:11:56,778 --> 00:11:59,163
Sheldon, I swear to God,
I'm gonna kill you!
279
00:11:59,165 --> 00:12:01,032
Hey!
280
00:12:02,751 --> 00:12:04,168
I made him tell us.
281
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:05,419
What? "Us"?
282
00:12:05,421 --> 00:12:06,754
Who else knows?
283
00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:08,055
I know.
Me, too.
284
00:12:08,057 --> 00:12:09,256
Same here.
285
00:12:09,258 --> 00:12:11,592
Shame on all of you.
286
00:12:11,594 --> 00:12:13,644
You know, too.
287
00:12:13,646 --> 00:12:16,597
Couldn't leave him
with one friend, could you?
288
00:12:17,315 --> 00:12:18,566
So everybody knows
289
00:12:18,568 --> 00:12:20,267
what's in that letter
except for me?
290
00:12:20,269 --> 00:12:21,519
Yes, it's six
against one.
291
00:12:21,521 --> 00:12:23,571
Stand down, sir.
292
00:12:23,573 --> 00:12:26,073
How could you do this?
293
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:27,525
I'm sorry.
294
00:12:27,527 --> 00:12:29,476
If you want, we
could tell you.
295
00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:31,529
No, I don't
want to know!
296
00:12:31,531 --> 00:12:33,197
I mean,
297
00:12:33,199 --> 00:12:34,749
I do, but...
298
00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:36,450
I got to go.
299
00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:44,258
Used me as a human shield?
300
00:12:44,260 --> 00:12:46,093
I panicked.
301
00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:48,295
He looked taller than usual.
302
00:12:52,284 --> 00:12:54,001
Howard?
303
00:12:54,003 --> 00:12:56,170
In here.
304
00:12:58,023 --> 00:12:59,390
I'm sorry.
305
00:12:59,392 --> 00:13:01,358
I should have left it alone.
306
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,977
It's okay.
307
00:13:02,979 --> 00:13:04,895
Sorry I ran off like that.
308
00:13:04,897 --> 00:13:08,048
What are you looking at?
309
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:10,618
Uh, pictures of my dad and me
when I was a kid.
310
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,036
That's nice.
I got to tell you,
311
00:13:12,038 --> 00:13:15,072
as angry as I am
at Sheldon for blabbing,
312
00:13:15,074 --> 00:13:18,492
he did a hell of a job
organizing this closet.
313
00:13:18,494 --> 00:13:21,045
Look at this.
314
00:13:21,047 --> 00:13:25,049
"Photos of Wolowitz family
before father left forever."
315
00:13:28,053 --> 00:13:32,056
Check out nine-year-old Howie
with cornrows.
316
00:13:33,925 --> 00:13:38,329
Neither race was happy
to see me with those.
317
00:13:40,565 --> 00:13:41,982
Think you could take a break?
318
00:13:41,984 --> 00:13:42,983
Why?
319
00:13:42,985 --> 00:13:44,485
Got a little surprise for you.
320
00:13:44,487 --> 00:13:46,053
Come on.
321
00:13:46,055 --> 00:13:48,989
Oh, honey...
322
00:13:48,991 --> 00:13:51,558
I am in no mood
to have sex tonight.
323
00:13:54,329 --> 00:13:55,846
I'll lay there
if you absolutely
324
00:13:55,848 --> 00:13:58,532
have to have it, but... Oh.
325
00:13:59,351 --> 00:14:01,869
What are you guys doing here?
326
00:14:01,871 --> 00:14:03,704
When you left,
you weren't sure whether or not
327
00:14:03,706 --> 00:14:05,589
you wanted to know
what was in your dad's letter,
328
00:14:05,591 --> 00:14:08,342
so we came up with
kind of a cool solution.
329
00:14:08,344 --> 00:14:10,127
Oh, yeah, what's that?
330
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:11,411
It's simple, really.
331
00:14:11,413 --> 00:14:14,715
It occurred to me
that knowing and not knowing
332
00:14:14,717 --> 00:14:18,219
can be achieved by creating
a macroscopic example
333
00:14:18,221 --> 00:14:19,970
of quantum superposition.
334
00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:21,138
The-the principle
335
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:22,556
that a physical system
336
00:14:22,558 --> 00:14:26,527
exists partially in all
its possible states at once.
337
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:28,312
We were all thinking it, really.
338
00:14:29,430 --> 00:14:33,234
It was kind of the elephant
in the room, so...
339
00:14:34,202 --> 00:14:37,404
Anyway, um, I realize
340
00:14:37,406 --> 00:14:39,990
if we each present you
with an account
341
00:14:39,992 --> 00:14:41,992
of what your father wrote
to you,
342
00:14:41,994 --> 00:14:43,577
only one of which is true,
343
00:14:43,579 --> 00:14:44,995
and then we don't tell you
344
00:14:44,997 --> 00:14:47,447
which one it is,
you will forever be
345
00:14:47,449 --> 00:14:49,967
in a state
of epistemic ambivalence.
346
00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:51,051
Yeah.
347
00:14:51,053 --> 00:14:52,670
And I said
if it wasn't epistemic,
348
00:14:52,672 --> 00:14:55,055
we might as well not do it.
349
00:14:56,725 --> 00:14:58,342
Sit down, honey.
350
00:14:59,728 --> 00:15:00,911
Raj, you're up.
351
00:15:00,913 --> 00:15:02,479
Okay, um...
352
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:05,900
It was a card
for your 18th birthday.
353
00:15:05,902 --> 00:15:07,351
Inside it said,
354
00:15:07,353 --> 00:15:09,019
"Happy birthday, Howard.
355
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:11,138
I love you. Dad."
356
00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:12,990
Oh, and it was
357
00:15:12,992 --> 00:15:15,309
a Far Side card,
the one where the frog
358
00:15:15,311 --> 00:15:18,946
has its tongue stuck
to the underside of an airplane.
359
00:15:18,948 --> 00:15:20,447
Thinks it's a fly.
360
00:15:20,449 --> 00:15:23,150
Silly frog.
361
00:15:23,152 --> 00:15:25,286
So funny.
362
00:15:26,321 --> 00:15:27,955
Sheldon.
363
00:15:29,375 --> 00:15:33,210
It was a map leading
to the lost treasure
364
00:15:33,212 --> 00:15:36,547
of famous pirate One-Eyed Willy.
365
00:15:38,099 --> 00:15:39,350
Nice try.
366
00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:41,435
That's the plot for Goonies.
367
00:15:41,437 --> 00:15:42,836
Told you.
368
00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:45,022
Don't.
369
00:15:45,024 --> 00:15:46,273
Amy.
370
00:15:48,109 --> 00:15:50,110
You didn't know it,
371
00:15:50,112 --> 00:15:52,479
but your father was
in the auditorium
372
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,365
at your high school graduation.
373
00:15:54,367 --> 00:15:57,401
And he cried
because he was so proud of you.
374
00:15:57,403 --> 00:15:59,820
Really?
375
00:15:59,822 --> 00:16:01,622
Or that's complete poppycock
which Amy made up.
376
00:16:01,624 --> 00:16:03,324
It still could be the map.
377
00:16:04,909 --> 00:16:07,711
Penny.
378
00:16:07,713 --> 00:16:09,797
It was a letter explaining
379
00:16:09,799 --> 00:16:11,582
that your dad wasn't
who he said he was.
380
00:16:11,584 --> 00:16:13,667
Eventually, his other life
caught up to him,
381
00:16:13,669 --> 00:16:17,037
and the only way to keep you
and your mom safe was to leave.
382
00:16:17,039 --> 00:16:19,306
I would like
to change mine.
383
00:16:21,559 --> 00:16:25,596
The pirate's name
was Peg-Leg Antoine.
384
00:16:27,399 --> 00:16:30,484
Now it's completely different
from Goonies.
385
00:16:30,486 --> 00:16:32,353
No, it's not.
386
00:16:32,355 --> 00:16:34,605
Don't.
387
00:16:34,607 --> 00:16:36,056
Okay, my turn.
388
00:16:36,058 --> 00:16:39,994
Your dad wrote about how family
is the most important thing,
389
00:16:39,996 --> 00:16:43,197
and that you should never
throw it away like he did.
390
00:16:43,199 --> 00:16:45,282
Hmm.
391
00:16:45,284 --> 00:16:47,951
Bernadette.
392
00:16:47,953 --> 00:16:50,838
Inside the envelope
was a picture
393
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,090
of your dad holding you
the day you were born.
394
00:16:53,092 --> 00:16:55,376
On the back he wrote,
395
00:16:55,378 --> 00:16:59,179
"Howard, my son,
my greatest gift."
396
00:17:07,305 --> 00:17:09,023
You okay?
397
00:17:09,025 --> 00:17:11,308
Yeah.
398
00:17:11,310 --> 00:17:13,560
I'm terrific.
399
00:17:14,562 --> 00:17:16,763
So...?
400
00:17:18,766 --> 00:17:22,436
Which one
do you think it is...
401
00:17:22,438 --> 00:17:25,322
matey?
402
00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:29,376
Actually, I don't want to know.
403
00:17:29,378 --> 00:17:30,711
I...
404
00:17:30,713 --> 00:17:33,247
want all of them to be true.
405
00:17:33,249 --> 00:17:34,631
Well, one of them is.
406
00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:37,334
That's pretty cool.
407
00:17:37,336 --> 00:17:38,969
Thank you, guys.
408
00:17:38,971 --> 00:17:40,921
Hey, it's still early.
409
00:17:40,923 --> 00:17:42,456
Why don't we go back
and have that party?
410
00:17:42,458 --> 00:17:44,224
Yeah, cool.
Okay? Good.
411
00:17:45,260 --> 00:17:47,428
You know, surprisingly,
412
00:17:47,430 --> 00:17:49,229
uh, the letter
from your father
413
00:17:49,231 --> 00:17:50,464
wasn't the most
interesting thing
414
00:17:50,466 --> 00:17:51,765
I read in the closet.
415
00:17:51,767 --> 00:17:55,069
Bernadette's diary
has some saucy passages.
416
00:17:55,071 --> 00:17:57,438
Sheldon, don't you dare!
417
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,772
Th-There's nothing
to worry about.
418
00:17:58,774 --> 00:18:00,691
Your secret's safe with me.
419
00:18:00,693 --> 00:18:02,793
That's more like it.
420
00:18:04,245 --> 00:18:06,280
Although copyright law
would allow me to quote snippets
421
00:18:06,282 --> 00:18:08,532
in the context of a review.
422
00:18:20,352 --> 00:18:21,791
Glad you're
feeling better.
423
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,225
Me, too.
424
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,060
If I'd known
we were gonna be dancing,
425
00:18:25,062 --> 00:18:27,613
would have worn my flats.
426
00:18:27,615 --> 00:18:30,065
This turned out
pretty well, huh?
427
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,933
Yeah, I think so.
428
00:18:31,935 --> 00:18:33,369
I agree.
429
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:36,405
That is, if you've never been to
or heard of a party before.
430
00:18:37,791 --> 00:18:40,476
If you'd let me pierce your
brain with a hot needle
431
00:18:40,478 --> 00:18:44,013
in the right place, you'd
be happy all the time.
432
00:18:46,116 --> 00:18:47,750
Uh, Penny,
433
00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:51,003
I-I have a couple of questions
about your closet.
434
00:18:51,005 --> 00:18:52,788
Is there any reason
435
00:18:52,790 --> 00:18:55,123
you're keeping
this dead goldfish?
436
00:18:56,248 --> 00:19:00,018
Damn, I forgot to feed him.
437
00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:02,270
And that I had him.
438
00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:05,655
Well, now, did you also
have a dog?
439
00:19:05,755 --> 00:19:09,911
Because I found what appears to
be a battery-operated chew toy.
440
00:19:10,011 --> 00:19:11,927
Party's over!
Party's over!
441
00:19:12,226 --> 00:19:17,226
== sync, corrected by elderman ==