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English - SDH
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Think I've got time to
run some more simulations
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on the cooling system?
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Sure. I'm still figuring out
the thermo-acoustic expander.
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Yeah, while you do that
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lam going to pump cerebral spinal fluid
through my brain cells
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to remove the metabolic byproducts
of the day's thoughts.
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What?
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It's called sleep and it's my bedtime,
nighty-night, y'all.
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Hey, hey, hey, you're not going anywhere.
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And we only have two months
to deliver this to the Air Force
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because of you.
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(YAWNING) I know, I was there.
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Well, wake up!
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We're gonna put in a lot of late nights.
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How late?
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Well, I don't know, midnight, 1:00.
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One o'clock? I'm not a raccoon.
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If you're tired, have some coffee.
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What? You have some coffee.
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I am having coffee!
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And look how irritable it's making you!
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Guys!
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We're not gonna get anything done
if we start fighting.
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Now, can you please
try to soldier through?
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(SIGHS) Fine.
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(CLOCK TICKING)
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I don't think I can go much longer.
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It's been three and a half minutes,
wake up.
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(THEME SONG PLAYING)
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I had a bad dream
that my best friend became a tyrant
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and forced me to
stay up all night to work.
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I had a good dream that
when I carried you to bed
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I let your head hit the wall
andllaughed.
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- Good morning.
- What is this?
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Well, we didn't see you last night,
we're not gonna see you today,
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so we thought we could have
breakfast together.
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That is so nice.
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Ow! It does hurt!
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So, what are you guys gonna do today?
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Well, Sheldon was supposed to
go to this party with me this afternoon,
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but I don't think that's happening.
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Oh, that was never happening.
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I'll go, I like a party.
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Well, I mean, to be honest,
it's not like a "party" party,
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it's more like a gathering
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where scientists of different
disciplines get together
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to share their work and keep current
on what's going on in other fields,
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I don't know
why I called it a party, sorry.
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It's okay, I'll still go.
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You don't think you'll be bored?
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I'll have some wine
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and listen to people go on
about crap I don't understand.
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I mean, how is it any different
than every single day of my life?
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I won't be there.
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Look at that, it is a party.
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PENNY; Yeah.
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Sorry I have to work all weekend.
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It's okay.
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Thanks again for breakfast.
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Well, I didn't get to see you last night.
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The least I could do.
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You shouldn't have
made the alarm code his birthday.
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So, what should we do today?
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I appreciate it, but you don't have to
spend your day off with me.
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Well, I don't mind.
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Oh, you wanna go to the mall
and look at baby stuff?
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Not really.
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Oh, come on, we could share a pretzel
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and get sideways glances
from racist old ladies.
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I get enough of that when I take Howard
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to my grandmother's for Christmas.
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Oh, I know.
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Why don't we get started on
clearing out the baby's room?
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Isn't it a little early for that?
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You have to get to it eventually.
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(GROANS) There's so much junk in there,
it's embarrassing.
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How can you be embarrassed around me?
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I'm gonna be in the room with you
when you give birth.
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I don't think you are.
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You didn't think I was gonna be
in your kitchen this morning,
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yet here I am.
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- THE FLASH: Psst! Hey, kid.
- (GASPS)
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What?
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You look tired.
Why don't you have an energy drink?
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Everyone's doing it.
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Oh, no, thank you,
those have caffeine in them.
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Oh, sorry, I thought you were cool.
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I am cool.
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This is Yoo-hoo,
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chocolate milk's delicious, watery cousin.
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All right, but if you ever wanna
feel like you have superpowers,
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try one of these.
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Superheroes take
performance-enhancing chemicals?
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You bet.
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You know why Hulk is so strong?
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Steroids.
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You know why Batman wanders around
at night getting into fights?
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Scotch.
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I am facing a great deal of work.
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And I do like things better when
famous people also like them.
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Here. It's on the house.
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The first one's free?
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Flash, how do you stay in business?
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You wanna know my secret?
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I bought stock in Marvel.
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Hi, Bert. This is my friend Penny.
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- Hi.
- Hey. Come on in.
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I'm gonna go turn on some rock music.
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- That's a geology joke.
- (PENNY CHUCKLES)
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Bert's a geologist.
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And a joker.
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How early are we?
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Oh, actually, we're an hour late.
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I suddenly wish Sheldon was here.
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I don't even know where to begin.
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Well, in The Sound of Music,
Julie Andrews says,
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"Let's start at the very beginning.
A very good place to start."
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Huh. I was gonna start at the end,
thank God you're here.
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Well, I think the first thing
we should get rid of is that tone.
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Sorry.
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I should probably keep this
in case we have a girl.
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Ah, that's a nice one.
Was it yours when you were little?
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My dad built it for me.
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Wow, that's so cute.
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This was the husband, this was the wife.
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They'd go out on adventures together.
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Cruises, skiing, horseback riding.
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That was really me just
duct taping them to our dog.
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- And did they have kids?
- They did.
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But the mommy and daddy didn't like them
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so they shipped them off to an orphanage
I made out of a shoebox.
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Yeah, that's not worrisome at all.
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Not every girl dreams about being a mom.
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Sometimes you think
you're never gonna have kids
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and one day you wake up
and you're pregnant.
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And it doesn't matter that your
career's going great right now
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and that you and your husband
never even got to go anywhere
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taped to a dog!
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I skipped spin class for this.
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Why is it taking him so long
to get a drink out of a vending machine?
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Well, it's complicated.
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He finds pushing that little door
and reaching up into the machine
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uncomfortably intimate.
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Gentlemen, I am ready to work.
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To quote The Martian,
"Let's science the feces out of this!"
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And that... That's The Martian the book
and The Martian the movie,
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not Marvin the Martian.
Although, to quote Marvin the Martian,
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(AS MARVIN THE MARTIAN)
"I claim this planet in the name of Mars."
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Are you okay?
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Oh, I'm fantastic, never been better.
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I had my first energy drink
and I feel great.
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Hey, you guys wanna wrestle?
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We can do arm, thumb, mud, sumo.
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Nah, we're not fat enough
or wearing diapers.
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You wanted him awake.
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(MUSIC PLAYING)
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So should we talk to each other or mingle?
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I don't know where everyone is.
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Yeah, I mean,
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I could see him eating one or two guests
but not a whole party.
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Well, I guess this is kind of a bust.
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You don't have to stay.
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I'm gonna start cleaning up.
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Okay.
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I feel so bad about leaving him here.
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Well, that's funny, I was just
thinking the same thing about you.
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Hey, listen,
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could you not say anything about this
to the people at the university?
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You know, 'cause you're you and I'm me,
and it's kind of embarrassing.
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Wait, what do you mean she's her?
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Well, you know how Amy's
the coolest girl on campus, right?
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- No!
- No.
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Oh, yeah, everybody thinks so.
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What?
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You tell me about your foot fungus
but this is a secret?
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I'm sure it's just 'cause
I'm dating Sheldon.
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Actually, I think Sheldon's popular
because he's dating you.
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Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?
180
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,727
(HOWARD GROANS)
181
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Maybe we should break for lunch.
What time is it?
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(MOANING)
183
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According to the world's
worst cuckoo clock, it's 2:00.
184
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My head hurts
and I'm more tired than ever.
185
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Why don't you just go home?
186
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,084
No, I can do this.
187
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I just... I just need
another energy drink.
188
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,726
Oh, no.
189
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,567
What?
190
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,171
I want another one.
191
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:23,321
So?
192
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That's a craving.
193
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,008
That's a sign of chemical dependency.
194
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You only had one.
195
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,401
I know, but plenty of things are addictive
after a single exposure.
196
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,564
Crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles.
197
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:40,164
You know once one pops
one just can't stop.
198
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,763
You can't develop a problem that fast.
199
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:45,605
You wanna bet?
Oh, great, now I'm addicted to gambling.
200
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,891
- We can't afford to lose any more time.
- (SIGHS)
201
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,730
Well, this probably won't work
202
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,690
but has anyone ever tried to just haul off
203
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,644
and whoop the crazy out of him?
204
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,165
That's not helpful.
205
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:04,761
It's fun to think about
but it's not helpful.
206
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:07,166
HGY,
207
00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,000
Sheldon, we are on a serious time crunch.
208
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,845
We can't do this without you.
Can you please pull it together?
209
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,809
I'm sorry, yes, of course.
210
00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,201
Thank you.
211
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,529
Just please bear with me
212
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:21,371
if I display symptoms
of caffeine withdrawal.
213
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,931
No worries.
214
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:35,886
(INHALES SHARPLY)
215
00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,046
You guys stink.
216
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,645
Sorry I flipped out on you.
I think it's just hormones.
217
00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,371
I think you were mean
before you were pregnant, but it's fine.
218
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:59,084
So, uh, instead of cleaning out the room,
219
00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:01,607
why don't we just decide on a theme
for the nursery?
220
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,165
Does it really need one?
221
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,364
Of course it does, didn't your
baby room have a theme?
222
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,241
Well, it doubled as my dad's office
and he was a cop.
223
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,643
So, I guess the theme was
bloody homicide photos.
224
00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,967
Oh. Mine was Winnie the Pooh.
225
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,170
But, anyway,
226
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,282
why don't we just take a step back
and start with the color?
227
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,885
Right? There's so many amazing ones.
228
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:27,845
Red, blue, green, purple...
229
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,600
Are you just gonna name all the colors?
230
00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,481
Well, not now.
231
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,928
I don't care what color the room is.
232
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,696
Okay, well, I'm just trying to help you.
233
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,609
Well, you're not. So just drop it.
234
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:46,371
I'm clearly upset,
why aren't you following me?
235
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,804
Sorry, sorry!
236
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:54,287
And when Amy started using a solution
of chromic acid and white vinegar
237
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:56,130
to clean all her lab equipment,
238
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,886
all of a sudden, everybody was doin' it.
239
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,769
You trendsetter!
240
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,491
It was just the right idea
at the right time.
241
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,568
Okay, okay, so Amy's cool, Sheldon's cool.
Tell me about Leonard.
242
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,041
Who?
243
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:14,324
Leonard Hofstadter.
244
00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:17,086
Oh, him. I guess he's all right.
245
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,847
Apparently he tricked some hot girl
into marrying him.
246
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,289
That's me! I'm her!
247
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:27,368
And you know, he didn't trick me.
He just wore me down.
248
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:29,964
Makes sense you two are friends.
249
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,163
I mean, hot girls always stick together.
250
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:38,406
And you thought this wasn't
gonna be a great party.
251
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:43,041
You know, I had no idea,
Caltech is exactly like my high school.
252
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,004
Well, it's not exactly like it.
253
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,202
You know, we're all extremely smart.
254
00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,202
Wow, you popular girls are mean.
255
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,041
(GROANS) I'm gonna get some coffee.
You want some?
256
00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:00,044
Uh, you're really going to have caffeine
in front of me
257
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,000
while I'm trying to get my life
back on track?
258
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:04,326
Okay.
259
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,409
Let's pretend you do have a problem.
260
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,686
- I do.
- You don't.
261
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,047
- Yeah, but I do.
- No, you don't!
262
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,881
But let's say you do
and don't say you do because you don't!
263
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,125
Well, wouldn't you think that
throwing yourself into your work
264
00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:19,884
would be the best way to deal with it?
265
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,164
- With what?
- Your problem.
266
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,000
I thought I didn't have a problem.
267
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,884
That was painful to watch.
268
00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,602
- So, where are we going?
- I don't know.
269
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:39,321
Okay.
270
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,562
How Thelma and Louise of us.
271
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:45,811
Raj, why don't I care about anything?
272
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,127
I'm sorry?
273
00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,010
It's my baby, I should care about
nurseries and colors and I don't.
274
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,531
What's wrong with me?
275
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,687
Well, crime scene photos
near your crib spring to mind.
276
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,729
I keep waiting to feel excited
but it's not happening.
277
00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:04,562
(SIGHS) What if it never happens?
278
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,087
Bernadette,
279
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:09,290
come on, look,
you're over-thinking this, okay?
280
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,489
You're gonna be an amazing mom.
281
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:15,201
Even if you don't believe it,
I know you have maternal instincts.
282
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,841
Once I was supposed to
babysit my brothers,
283
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,964
our neighbor found them naked in
the backyard eating crickets.
284
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,363
Happy and well-fed. You see, that's
what I'm taking from that story.
285
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:33,644
Leonard, can I ask you a question?
286
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,320
Is it about the rotational symmetries
you should be figuring out
287
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,771
or your fake caffeine problem?
288
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,125
Howard, can I ask you a question?
289
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:44,526
No.
290
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,720
All right, I'll just toss this
out to the room.
291
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:51,168
Um, I was thinking that the best way
to fight my addiction
292
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,163
is by weaning myself off in steps.
293
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,368
Now, I couldn't find a caffeine patch
294
00:14:55,680 --> 00:15:01,084
but I did find what claims to be
a mind-boosting caffeine suppository.
295
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:05,120
Yeah. You know, there's an
interesting fact about the rectum...
296
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:06,566
Sheldon!
297
00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:10,561
We are dealing with an impossible deadline
298
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,171
from the Air Force because of you.
299
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:14,848
So, have an energy drink,
don't have an energy drink.
300
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,641
Order suppositories and shove them
wherever you want, I don't care!
301
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:24,401
You don't shove them, they come
with an easy-glide applicator.
302
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:27,601
Right.
303
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,970
Listen to me, we can't do anything
until you do your part.
304
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,646
So, get up in front of this whiteboard
and do it!
305
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,849
- I can't.
- Yes, you can.
306
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,126
No...
307
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:39,642
I can't figure out the math.
308
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,249
I've been racking my brain for days
and I've got nothing.
309
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,401
Seriously?
310
00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:47,800
No, I can't do it.
311
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,883
I'm not as smart as I think I am.
312
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,971
I'm so sorry, this is all my fault.
313
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,441
It's okay. We'll figure something out.
314
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,244
But what if we can't?
315
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,371
It'll be fine.
316
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,846
You'll see.
317
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,051
Sheldon?
318
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,045
Buddy?
319
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,210
(SNORING)
320
00:16:22,880 --> 00:16:25,804
When the baby gets here
you gotta teach me that.
321
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,048
Thank you so much, Bert, this was great.
322
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,440
My pleasure.
323
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,366
You girls wanna take home
a two-gallon tub of potato salad?
324
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:40,081
- I think we're good.
- Mmm.
325
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:42,727
Okay, well, thanks for coming by.
326
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,047
You're nice people.
327
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,046
Well, so are you.
328
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,568
In fact, you know what?
We will never take you for "granite."
329
00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:51,765
Did you get that?
330
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:55,250
Granite? It's a little geology joke.
(CHUCKLES)
331
00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:58,936
You need to leave,
I'm in love with both of you now.
332
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,121
- Okay.
- Bye.
333
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,450
Uh, pull over.
334
00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,364
Why, who are you calling?
335
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,896
You're gonna rat me out to Howard,
aren't you?
336
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,651
You're such a snitch.
No wonder I don't like you.
337
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:17,044
Whoa! I'm calling my dad. Okay?
338
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,407
He's got experience dealing
with pregnant ladies
339
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,886
because he's an OB-GYN,
340
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,811
and experience with crazy ladies
because of my mom.
341
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,491
(LINE RINGING)
342
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,611
Hello, Rajesh.
343
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,122
- Are you calling to ask for money?
- No.
344
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,328
Are you calling to ask for things
that cost money?
345
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,648
- No.
- Great, what's up?
346
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:37,528
Okay, this is my friend Bernadette.
347
00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,001
She's pregnant and she's a bit worried.
348
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,696
So, I thought maybe you could talk to her.
349
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:44,087
Of course. What seems to be the trouble?
350
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,481
Something's wrong.
351
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,600
I don't care about any of the baby stuff
every other mom is so into.
352
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,885
Honestly, I'm not even sure I like babies.
353
00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:57,320
Look, some people are baby people
and some people are not baby people.
354
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,843
It doesn't mean you won't
love your own baby.
355
00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,728
But I thought I'd be more excited.
356
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,131
Being excited isn't
a guarantee of anything.
357
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:09,284
Rajesh's mother was thrilled
when she was pregnant with him.
358
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,649
After he was born,
she doted on his every move.
359
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,290
And you know what happened?
360
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,440
He broke her heart,
moved halfway around the world
361
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,130
and dates only poor white women.
362
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,009
So, you never know.
363
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:25,850
Thank you, I feel better now.
364
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,451
I don't!
365
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,683
Good. Bernadette,
I hope you have a daughter.
366
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,531
Uh, I don't really know how to say this...
367
00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:41,722
Well, you could try starting with "sir."
368
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,770
Right, sorry, sir.
369
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,161
He said start with it, not end with it.
370
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:49,281
Sir,
371
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,529
we've hit a bit of a snag.
372
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:53,409
We're already behind schedule.
373
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,881
The computations required to
overcome the deployability issues
374
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,247
are more significant than we thought.
375
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:02,562
I understand that we're under contract
376
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,405
and I don't know what the
consequences of violating that are.
377
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:09,963
But, um, we're not gonna be able to
deliver in the time we promised.
378
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:13,921
(SIGHS)
379
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,445
How long do you need?
380
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:23,485
(CLEARS THROAT) We're thinking two years.
381
00:19:26,280 --> 00:19:27,566
All right.
382
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,206
That's it? You're okay with that?
383
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:34,856
(SCOFFS) What, you think you're
the first government contractor
384
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,609
who isn't gonna deliver on time?
385
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,127
We're still waiting for
a big space laser Reagan ordered
386
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:40,685
to beat the commies.
387
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,440
Thanks for understanding, sir.
388
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,085
Yes, thank you so much.
389
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,368
We, we really appreciate it.
390
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,005
LEONARD". All right, pressure's off.
391
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,520
HOWARD: (SIGHS) Wanna see a movie?
SHELDON: Popcorn's on me.
392
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:23,801
English - SDH