1 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,569 Go! 2 00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:07,303 Come on, Raj! 3 00:00:07,305 --> 00:00:08,204 You can do this! 4 00:00:08,206 --> 00:00:09,238 There's no way. 5 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,340 What is happening? 6 00:00:10,342 --> 00:00:11,341 This is an Euler's Disk. 7 00:00:11,343 --> 00:00:12,342 It's a physics toy 8 00:00:12,344 --> 00:00:13,810 that demonstrates angular momentum, 9 00:00:13,812 --> 00:00:15,979 potential energy, and kinetic energy. 10 00:00:15,981 --> 00:00:18,147 Aw, look at you watching sports. 11 00:00:19,017 --> 00:00:20,316 We're betting to see if Koothrappali 12 00:00:20,318 --> 00:00:21,250 can hold his breath 13 00:00:21,252 --> 00:00:22,685 longer than the disk can spin. 14 00:00:22,687 --> 00:00:24,187 Its weight and smoothness, 15 00:00:24,189 --> 00:00:26,756 along with the slight concavity of the mirror, means it can spin 16 00:00:26,758 --> 00:00:28,024 for a long time. 17 00:00:28,026 --> 00:00:29,492 But Raj is from India, which means 18 00:00:29,494 --> 00:00:31,694 he's no slouch at holding his breath. 19 00:00:32,831 --> 00:00:34,831 Okay, I want in. Ten bucks says I'll lose interest 20 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:37,867 before that thing stops spinning. 21 00:00:39,037 --> 00:00:40,903 Hey, Sheldon, I found a great restaurant for date night. 22 00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:42,205 Kind of busy right now. 23 00:00:42,207 --> 00:00:44,741 Oh, an Euler's Disk! Fun! Yeah, we're seeing 24 00:00:44,743 --> 00:00:46,743 if Raj can hold his breath longer than it. 25 00:00:46,745 --> 00:00:48,711 Oh. Immature. 26 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:50,880 How ya doing? 27 00:00:50,882 --> 00:00:51,881 Mm. 28 00:00:51,883 --> 00:00:53,216 He's not gonna make it. 29 00:00:53,218 --> 00:00:54,884 Yes, he is! You know, 30 00:00:54,886 --> 00:00:57,553 deep-sea divers holding their breath for several minutes 31 00:00:57,555 --> 00:00:59,489 have shown elevated markers of a protein 32 00:00:59,491 --> 00:01:01,424 that can signal brain damage. 33 00:01:01,426 --> 00:01:04,560 Yeah, see, what's happening here signals brain damage. 34 00:01:06,297 --> 00:01:07,864 My God, how long does this thing spin for? 35 00:01:07,866 --> 00:01:11,000 Ha! You're interested! You're out ten bucks! 36 00:01:11,002 --> 00:01:13,102 It's slowing down! Dig deep! 37 00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:16,005 Like when we bet you couldn't fit into Howard's pants! 38 00:01:18,510 --> 00:01:19,542 He's not gonna make it! 39 00:01:19,544 --> 00:01:20,343 Yes, he is! 40 00:01:20,345 --> 00:01:21,644 Come on, Raj! It's like 41 00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:25,081 your favorite movie! You're just Waiting to Exhale! 42 00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,821 Yeah! I knew you could do it! 43 00:01:32,857 --> 00:01:34,924 And j.. and just so you know, 44 00:01:34,926 --> 00:01:36,759 my favorite movie... 45 00:01:36,761 --> 00:01:39,128 is Princess Bride. 46 00:01:40,532 --> 00:01:44,133 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 47 00:01:44,135 --> 00:01:47,470 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 48 00:01:47,472 --> 00:01:49,105 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 49 00:01:49,107 --> 00:01:51,641 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 50 00:01:51,643 --> 00:01:54,310 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 51 00:01:54,312 --> 00:01:56,979 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 52 00:01:56,981 --> 00:01:58,514 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 53 00:01:58,516 --> 00:01:59,493 ♪ Bang! ♪ 54 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:03,494 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x16 ♪ The Allowance Evaporation Original Air Da 55 00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:09,495 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 56 00:02:12,365 --> 00:02:14,332 Hello, Rajesh. How are things by you? 57 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,433 Good, good. 58 00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:17,602 Uh, listen, I just wanted to let you know 59 00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,103 when you get my credit card bill, 60 00:02:19,105 --> 00:02:21,005 it might be a little high this month. 61 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:23,274 Well, you're a grown man with a steady job. 62 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:27,045 Why wouldn't you spend all your father's money? 63 00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:31,382 Oh, Daddy, you're so rich and funny. 64 00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,552 Yeah. So what else is going on with your life? 65 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:37,689 Uh, well, I was dating a woman at the university, 66 00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,057 but we broke up. 67 00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:40,959 I'm sorry to hear that. 68 00:02:40,961 --> 00:02:44,028 I know you are. That's why you just bought me a new iPad. 69 00:02:45,465 --> 00:02:46,764 And before you start, 70 00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:49,834 I am not interested in you arranging a marriage for me. 71 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,236 Oh, I gave up on that a long time ago. 72 00:02:52,238 --> 00:02:53,304 You did? 73 00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:54,672 It's too much work. 74 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,107 You're an adult who can't get by 75 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,176 without an allowance from his parents. 76 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,844 Women don't want that. 77 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:03,014 Wh-What are you saying, that y-you're giving up on me? 78 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,283 What kind of father gives up on his son? 79 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:06,584 I have six children, 80 00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,886 five of whom are married and self-sufficient. 81 00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:12,323 I don't think I'm the problem. 82 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,859 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 83 00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:17,295 This is deeply hurtful. 84 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:18,363 You're also too sensitive. 85 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,132 Women don't want that either. 86 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,270 The food here's supposed to be great. 87 00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:27,638 Don't fill up on chips. 88 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,374 Oh, I won't. I have a trick. 89 00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,976 I only eat equilateral triangles. 90 00:03:33,179 --> 00:03:35,880 Isosceles, isosceles, 91 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,483 oh, scalene... 92 00:03:39,319 --> 00:03:41,519 You didn't see that. 93 00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,455 Oh, look. 94 00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:45,823 It's Bert, at the bar. 95 00:03:45,825 --> 00:03:47,325 We should go say hi. 96 00:03:47,327 --> 00:03:49,794 Why? 97 00:03:49,796 --> 00:03:51,729 Because that's what you do 98 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,632 when you see someone you know in a public place. 99 00:03:54,634 --> 00:03:58,803 I have multiple restraining orders that say otherwise. 100 00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:03,241 Sheldon, there's a difference between greeting a friend 101 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,610 and following a celebrity into a bathroom. 102 00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,613 If the judge couldn't explain it to me, 103 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,815 I don't see how you will. 104 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:14,552 Hi, Bert. Hello. 105 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,020 Oh, hey, guys. 106 00:04:16,022 --> 00:04:17,088 What brings you here? 107 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,123 Oh, we're having date night. Nice. 108 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,525 I'm meeting someone, too. 109 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:22,060 Oh, really. Anybody we know? 110 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:25,096 I doubt it. I met her on G-Harmony. 111 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:28,766 That's a Web site for geologists to find love. 112 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,501 That's a real thing? 113 00:04:30,503 --> 00:04:33,604 Yeah. Their slogan is “We're all about dating 114 00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:36,107 and not the carbon-14 kind”" 115 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:40,211 Well, have a lovely evening. 116 00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,080 Thanks. You, too. 117 00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:44,615 If you think that's more fun than talking 118 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,051 to Zachary Quinto through a stall door, you're crazy. 119 00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:51,355 You know, we could've come to you guys. 120 00:04:51,357 --> 00:04:52,890 You didn't have to bring the baby here. 121 00:04:52,892 --> 00:04:54,559 Oh, it's okay. It's good to get out of the house. 122 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,094 And the car ride puts her to sleep. 123 00:04:56,096 --> 00:04:58,629 Aw, that used to work with Sheldon. 124 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,999 Yeah, until someone left him in the drugstore parking lot 125 00:05:02,001 --> 00:05:03,367 and he freaked out. 126 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,036 Who forgot to crack the window? 127 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,071 Hello! 128 00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:08,372 - Hey. - Oh, 129 00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:09,874 someone's been shopping at Gucci. 130 00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,743 Yeah, I saw something for Halley and I couldn't resist. 131 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:14,579 That's so sweet of you. 132 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:18,416 Yeah, it's a crushed velvet baby cape. 133 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:22,987 Oh, no, now we have two. 134 00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:26,124 That must've been expensive. Yeah, it was. 135 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:29,360 But it's my father's money and I'm mad at him. 136 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:31,496 What's going on with your dad? 137 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,697 And if you really want to hurt him, 138 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,432 I look great in Chanel. 139 00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:38,069 It turns out he doesn't care if I'm married or if I'm single. 140 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,904 He's basically given up on me. 141 00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,973 Oh, I'm sure that's not true. 142 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:44,876 It is. He stopped trying to find Indian girls for me to marry. 143 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,111 All you did was complain when he did that. 144 00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:50,081 Leonard, he's hurting. Let him feel how he feels. 145 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,883 Thank you, Penny. Yeah. 146 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,018 Shoes, I'm a seven-and-a-half; boots, I'm an eight. 147 00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:59,056 ...MSN Search, 148 00:05:59,058 --> 00:06:01,058 AltaVista, 149 00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:04,061 and... Ask Jeeves. 150 00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,396 You? 151 00:06:05,398 --> 00:06:06,998 Sorry, I don't have a list 152 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,667 of defunct search engines that I miss. 153 00:06:11,604 --> 00:06:13,437 Hey. Looks like I got stood up, 154 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:14,972 so I'm gonna head out. 155 00:06:14,974 --> 00:06:16,474 Oh, no. Are you sure you don't want to give her 156 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:17,542 a few more minutes? 157 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,645 Nah, G-Harmony recommends after two hours, 158 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,681 it's time to cut bait. 159 00:06:25,585 --> 00:06:26,517 I'm so sorry. 160 00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:29,253 Bert, I insist that you join us. 161 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,122 You really wouldn't mind? 162 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,690 Not at all. Amy? 163 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:33,958 Fine with me. 164 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,460 Thanks. I'll go grab a chair. 165 00:06:36,462 --> 00:06:39,664 Sheldon, that was so sweet of you. 166 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,866 Well, I could deduce by his facial expression 167 00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:44,068 and body language that he was sad. 168 00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:48,339 So the part where he got stood up didn't clue you in? 169 00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:53,344 You want me to look at him and listen to him? 170 00:06:54,547 --> 00:06:57,715 My father thinks the reason I can't make a relationship work 171 00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,383 is because I'm spoiled. 172 00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:08,059 I'm sorry, is he waiting for someone to disagree? 173 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,994 Just because he helps me out 174 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,730 doesn't automatically mean that I'm spoiled. 175 00:07:12,732 --> 00:07:14,452 All right, how much exactly does he pay for? 176 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,035 Okay, I'll tell you, 177 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,503 but please don't judge me. 178 00:07:19,505 --> 00:07:23,474 He pays for my car, my rent, and my credit cards. 179 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,579 I'm trying, but I'm judging. 180 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:32,083 Maybe your dad's right. 181 00:07:32,085 --> 00:07:34,418 Yeah, women do like a man that can support himself. 182 00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,020 But Bernadette makes more money than Howard. 183 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:39,156 She basically supports him. 184 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,759 Yeah, maybe your dad's right. 185 00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,531 Good question. Let's see. 186 00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:49,400 Infoseek, 187 00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,269 WebCrawler, 188 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,170 oh, HotBot. 189 00:07:53,172 --> 00:07:55,906 Okay, literally any other topic. 190 00:07:56,676 --> 00:07:59,844 All right. How did you guys meet? 191 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:02,013 Actually, we met online. 192 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:04,015 Our-our first date was at a coffee shop. 193 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:07,084 Although, unlike your date, she actually showed up. 194 00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,454 Oh, he looks sad again. 195 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,358 Well, I really envy your relationship. 196 00:08:14,360 --> 00:08:16,927 Other than you two only having sex once a year, 197 00:08:16,929 --> 00:08:19,530 you're the perfect couple. 198 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,967 You-you know about that? 199 00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:26,170 Uh, yeah, everyone at the university does. 200 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,306 Were you aware of this? 201 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:32,343 No. No, I only told Leonard, Howard, Raj, 202 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,613 Kripke, uh, Professor Wu, Professor Klein, 203 00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,582 and a lunch lady in the cafeteria. 204 00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:42,019 How everyone else found out is a mystery to me. 205 00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:54,630 Why aren't you talking to me? 206 00:08:54,632 --> 00:08:56,632 - Because I'm mad at you. - Oh. 207 00:08:56,634 --> 00:08:59,935 Well, now I'm sorry I asked. 208 00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:01,870 Sheldon, it's humiliating. 209 00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:05,040 Thanks to you, my colleagues are gossiping about our sex life. 210 00:09:05,042 --> 00:09:06,542 What is there to gossip about? 211 00:09:06,544 --> 00:09:08,877 We barely have one. 212 00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:12,414 That's why they're doing it! 213 00:09:15,619 --> 00:09:19,455 Is it safe to assume you're not speaking to me again? 214 00:09:20,725 --> 00:09:23,392 If you're not answering because you're not speaking to me, 215 00:09:23,394 --> 00:09:25,294 perhaps we could come up with a signal! 216 00:09:30,267 --> 00:09:31,967 That works! 217 00:09:34,505 --> 00:09:36,004 You don't need your dad's money. 218 00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:38,307 - You can get by on your salary. - Yeah. 219 00:09:38,309 --> 00:09:40,476 Well, we work at the same place as you, and 220 00:09:40,478 --> 00:09:42,077 - we've always been fine. - Oh, please. 221 00:09:42,079 --> 00:09:45,414 Look in the mirror. You both look ten years older than I do. 222 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,016 All right. 223 00:09:48,018 --> 00:09:49,351 Hang on. We can figure this out. 224 00:09:49,353 --> 00:09:52,020 Let's just go over your expenses. How much is your rent? 225 00:09:52,022 --> 00:09:53,856 I don't want to say. 226 00:09:53,858 --> 00:09:56,058 Is it really that high? 227 00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:59,361 I don't want to say because I don't know how much it is. 228 00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:01,663 You don't how much your rent is? 229 00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:03,557 My father pays for it! Do you know how much your rent is?! 230 00:10:03,581 --> 00:10:04,534 Yeah. 231 00:10:04,535 --> 00:10:05,834 Well, then double it, 232 00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:07,870 because my building's a lot nicer than this dump. 233 00:10:09,006 --> 00:10:12,007 Do you know how much your car costs? 234 00:10:12,009 --> 00:10:13,075 Not really. 235 00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:15,110 Well, how much do you spend on food? 236 00:10:15,112 --> 00:10:18,147 The housekeeper does the shopping. 237 00:10:18,983 --> 00:10:21,717 Oh, my God, you really are spoiled. 238 00:10:21,719 --> 00:10:23,018 I'm spoiled?! 239 00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:26,722 Your baby has a cape that costs $300! 240 00:10:32,329 --> 00:10:33,428 I'm going to bed. 241 00:10:33,430 --> 00:10:34,930 Well, wait. 242 00:10:34,932 --> 00:10:38,767 This is our first fight as a couple who live together. 243 00:10:38,769 --> 00:10:40,035 So? 244 00:10:40,037 --> 00:10:42,304 I'm not sure of the protocol. 245 00:10:42,306 --> 00:10:43,605 Television teaches us 246 00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:45,207 that the man's supposed to sleep on the couch, 247 00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:48,844 but of the two of us, you're clearly more sofa-sized. 248 00:10:48,846 --> 00:10:50,712 I'm not sleeping on the couch 249 00:10:50,714 --> 00:10:53,115 'cause you don't know what's private and what's not. 250 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:55,150 This isn't fair. 251 00:10:55,152 --> 00:10:56,518 You've discussed aspects 252 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,353 of our physical relationship with Penny. 253 00:10:58,355 --> 00:10:59,788 That's different! 254 00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:02,357 She's a close friend, not the lady in the cafeteria 255 00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:05,194 who cuts the crust off your sandwiches! 256 00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:06,795 That lady has a name. 257 00:11:06,797 --> 00:11:08,330 I don't know what it is, 258 00:11:08,332 --> 00:11:10,732 but one time, I accidentally called her “Mom”. 259 00:11:13,971 --> 00:11:16,371 Sounds like you're gonna need a cheaper place to live. 260 00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:18,540 When you moved here, you didn't have a lot of money. 261 00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,608 How'd you get by? 262 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:21,743 Well, sometimes you can get free food 263 00:11:21,745 --> 00:11:24,613 and Wi-Fi from the neighbors. 264 00:11:24,615 --> 00:11:26,081 Just know 265 00:11:26,083 --> 00:11:29,151 you might have to marry one of 'em. 266 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:31,720 Hey, you guys let Stuart live with you. 267 00:11:31,722 --> 00:11:32,888 Why not Raj, too? 268 00:11:32,890 --> 00:11:35,557 What-what are you doing? I... 269 00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:40,162 I-I-I schlepped the baby over, I brought imported beer. 270 00:11:40,164 --> 00:11:42,064 Why don't you like me? 271 00:11:42,066 --> 00:11:43,165 Well, 272 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,486 I thought we were best friends! 273 00:11:44,510 --> 00:11:45,501 We are! 274 00:11:45,502 --> 00:11:49,037 That's why I'm sad my best friend's gonna be homeless. 275 00:11:51,175 --> 00:11:54,276 I'm sorry, Raj. We really just don't have the space. 276 00:11:54,278 --> 00:11:55,677 What if he lives in your garage? 277 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,013 What if you stop helping?! 278 00:11:59,383 --> 00:12:02,217 Guys, I'm not living in a garage! 279 00:12:02,219 --> 00:12:04,353 Wait. Why are we talking about our place 280 00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:08,123 when Sheldon's old room is sitting there perfectly empty? 281 00:12:10,261 --> 00:12:12,027 That's a great idea. 282 00:12:12,029 --> 00:12:14,463 Raj, 283 00:12:14,465 --> 00:12:17,699 if you need a place to stay, of course you are welcome here. 284 00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:21,870 Thank you, but if I'm gonna just take advantage of my friends, 285 00:12:21,872 --> 00:12:24,706 I might as well keep on relying on my father. 286 00:12:24,708 --> 00:12:26,108 Okay, only if you're sure. 287 00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:27,476 Whew. 288 00:12:27,478 --> 00:12:29,878 Yeah. 289 00:12:30,981 --> 00:12:32,981 Amy? 290 00:12:32,983 --> 00:12:34,249 Amy? 291 00:12:34,251 --> 00:12:36,585 Amy? Yeah? 292 00:12:37,621 --> 00:12:40,389 Not exactly the welcome wagon, but I'll take it. 293 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:44,459 What is this? 294 00:12:44,461 --> 00:12:47,296 I'm mapping basic topics of conversation 295 00:12:47,298 --> 00:12:49,998 and with whom they can be discussed. 296 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:54,369 I call these circles “Zones of Privacy”" 297 00:12:54,371 --> 00:12:55,637 Don't Google that 298 00:12:55,639 --> 00:12:58,106 unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals. 299 00:12:58,108 --> 00:13:01,843 This circle contains only me and you. 300 00:13:01,845 --> 00:13:04,713 It represents subjects we only share with each other-- 301 00:13:04,715 --> 00:13:08,550 details of physical intimacy, bathroom habits. 302 00:13:08,552 --> 00:13:10,385 Although, as I'm saying it, 303 00:13:10,387 --> 00:13:14,289 I may need to add Dr. Fink in here. 304 00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:15,691 Are you really worried 305 00:13:15,693 --> 00:13:18,026 about revealing secrets to Stephen Hawking? 306 00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:22,664 No, I was just excited to list him as a friend. 307 00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:25,901 Well, I do appreciate you working on this. 308 00:13:27,671 --> 00:13:29,571 I'm sorry you were embarrassed. 309 00:13:29,573 --> 00:13:31,440 And now I understand that 310 00:13:31,442 --> 00:13:33,775 some things are just between you and me, 311 00:13:33,777 --> 00:13:38,280 and in the event of redness and swelling, Dr. Fink. 312 00:13:40,584 --> 00:13:42,384 What's that little dot in the middle? 313 00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:45,620 That's reserved for thoughts I don't share with anyone. 314 00:13:45,622 --> 00:13:49,925 Interesting. You really have secrets you don't tell me? 315 00:13:49,927 --> 00:13:51,493 Of course. 316 00:13:51,495 --> 00:13:53,195 Can I hear one? 317 00:13:53,197 --> 00:13:55,230 No, they're private. 318 00:13:55,232 --> 00:13:59,134 Why? Are they naughty? 319 00:13:59,970 --> 00:14:02,170 A little. 320 00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:03,839 Please? 321 00:14:03,841 --> 00:14:06,041 Fine. 322 00:14:07,211 --> 00:14:09,378 Two years ago... 323 00:14:10,581 --> 00:14:13,281 ...I got my driver's license. 324 00:14:14,118 --> 00:14:16,551 What?! 325 00:14:17,821 --> 00:14:19,821 Why didn't you say anything?! 326 00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:23,225 I like being chauffeured around. 327 00:14:23,227 --> 00:14:25,827 It makes me feel important. 328 00:14:27,464 --> 00:14:30,532 So when I got up at 4:00 a.m. to drive you across the desert 329 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:33,468 to an antique train museum, I didn't have to? 330 00:14:33,470 --> 00:14:34,736 No, you didn't. 331 00:14:34,738 --> 00:14:36,538 But keep in mind, 332 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,708 I felt extremely important. 333 00:14:45,516 --> 00:14:48,016 What?! 334 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:49,251 Hello, Father. 335 00:14:49,253 --> 00:14:50,519 We need to talk. 336 00:14:50,521 --> 00:14:51,920 All right. 337 00:14:51,922 --> 00:14:53,655 I have come to an important decision. 338 00:14:53,657 --> 00:14:55,490 I will not be accepting your money anymore. 339 00:14:55,492 --> 00:14:58,226 I'm a man, and I can take care of myself. 340 00:14:58,228 --> 00:14:59,895 That's wonderful! 341 00:14:59,897 --> 00:15:01,196 Yes, that is wonderful! 342 00:15:01,198 --> 00:15:03,398 You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled! 343 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,300 I am so proud of you. 344 00:15:05,302 --> 00:15:06,535 Dad, I'm trying to tell you off, 345 00:15:06,537 --> 00:15:09,438 and you're ruining it with your delight and relief. 346 00:15:10,841 --> 00:15:12,274 Sorry. 347 00:15:12,276 --> 00:15:15,410 Oh, no, my grown son is going to stop spending all my money. 348 00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:18,346 Where did I fail as a father?! 349 00:15:18,348 --> 00:15:20,382 Yeah, that's right. 350 00:15:20,384 --> 00:15:21,917 Keep asking yourself that! 351 00:15:23,153 --> 00:15:26,688 But I still love you very much, so don't cut me out of the will. 352 00:15:35,163 --> 00:15:36,596 Oh, you brought your own lunch. 353 00:15:36,598 --> 00:15:37,764 Good for you. 354 00:15:37,766 --> 00:15:39,899 Yeah, I'm making a bunch of changes. 355 00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:42,068 This morning, I fired my dog walker. 356 00:15:42,070 --> 00:15:44,471 Oh. How's the dog gonna go to the bathroom? 357 00:15:44,473 --> 00:15:46,039 Uh, I gave her an Imodium. 358 00:15:46,041 --> 00:15:47,807 That's tomorrow's problem. 359 00:15:49,578 --> 00:15:52,712 Excuse me. May I have your attention, please? 360 00:15:52,714 --> 00:15:54,247 I have recently 361 00:15:54,249 --> 00:15:57,017 been made aware that my personal relationship 362 00:15:57,019 --> 00:16:00,220 with Amy Farrah Fowler has become water cooler gossip. 363 00:16:00,222 --> 00:16:04,124 And I just want to say, shame on all of you. 364 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,793 We're scientists. 365 00:16:06,795 --> 00:16:08,061 Our minds should be focused 366 00:16:08,063 --> 00:16:10,530 on the advancement of human knowledge, 367 00:16:10,532 --> 00:16:13,033 not the intimate details of other people's lives. 368 00:16:13,035 --> 00:16:15,568 He's right. 369 00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:18,138 And I'm sorry for the part I played in this. 370 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,839 Thank you, Bert. 371 00:16:19,841 --> 00:16:22,942 You're a good man. That woman who stood you up 372 00:16:22,944 --> 00:16:25,512 and humiliated you last night really missed out. 373 00:16:26,915 --> 00:16:30,183 That doesn't paint me in the best light. 374 00:16:30,185 --> 00:16:32,285 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. 375 00:16:32,287 --> 00:16:37,390 Correction: That woman not only had vigorous coitus with Bert... 376 00:16:37,392 --> 00:16:41,528 she also tipped him a dollar for a job well done. 377 00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:46,700 - That better? - Not really. 378 00:16:48,303 --> 00:16:51,338 All right, well, to sum up-- focus on science, 379 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,573 keep your nose out of other people's business, 380 00:16:53,575 --> 00:16:56,343 and, uh, whoa, for a good time, call Bert. 381 00:17:03,518 --> 00:17:05,552 What brought that on? 382 00:17:05,554 --> 00:17:07,954 Well, last night Amy was angry 383 00:17:07,956 --> 00:17:10,457 with me because I'd been foolishly telling people 384 00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:12,325 about certain personal matters. 385 00:17:12,327 --> 00:17:14,094 That's understandable. 386 00:17:14,096 --> 00:17:15,562 Oh, I know that now. 387 00:17:15,564 --> 00:17:17,430 At first, I thought she was cranky 388 00:17:17,432 --> 00:17:19,899 because of her horrific menstrual cramps, but... 389 00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:23,570 ...it turns out, no, she was genuinely mortified. 390 00:17:25,163 --> 00:17:31,963 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man