1
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,423
Hey, uh, who's free tonight?

2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,341
- Oh, I think I'm...
- Hang on,

3
00:00:07,633 --> 00:00:09,135
we've made this mistake before.

4
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,846
It's how we wound up
at his cousin Deepak's Tupperware party.

5
00:00:13,389 --> 00:00:16,601
Hey, you use that collapsible bowl
all the time and you know it.

6
00:00:17,894 --> 00:00:19,145
And it's not like that,

7
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:21,105
I just thought we could, you know,
hang out and go to a bar.

8
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:22,815
SHELDON: Very well.
HOWARD: That sounds fun.

9
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:23,941
And watch cricket.

10
00:00:25,818 --> 00:00:28,613
That sound you hear?
Ironically, crickets.

11
00:00:30,781 --> 00:00:32,533
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Bert, how you doing?

12
00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:33,868
Well, you know,

13
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,246
we geologists always get a little sad
when Rocktober's over.

14
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:40,791
- Wordplay?
- Yes.

15
00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:42,335
- Funny wordplay?
- What do you think?

16
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:43,461
Eh.

17
00:00:43,628 --> 00:00:44,629
Trust your gut.

18
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,883
Sheldon, I've got these
four billion-year-old meteorites.

19
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,345
I thought maybe they'd show signs
of neutrino interactions.

20
00:00:52,887 --> 00:00:55,431
I could really use someone like you
to help me with the math.

21
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:59,769
Oh, so they would act as
natural dark matter detectors.

22
00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:02,146
- That sounds interesting.
- It does,

23
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,522
but it's still geology.

24
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,902
Sorry, Bert, I don't have time
to play rocks with you.

25
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,570
I'm not asking you to play rocks.

26
00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:12,156
I'm asking you to collaborate
on a research project.

27
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:13,824
Although, if there's time,

28
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,369
I guess we could play a round of
zinc, zinc, piece of quartz.

29
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,206
Does sound better than cricket.

30
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:25,211
Uh, thank you for asking. Unfortunately,
I have real science to do.

31
00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:27,004
But you feel free to rock on.

32
00:01:27,213 --> 00:01:28,506
That's how you do it.

33
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:31,008
All right.

34
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:34,053
Sheldon, what are you doing?
Bert's one of the top guys in his field.

35
00:01:35,096 --> 00:01:38,057
And somewhere there's a mime
who's top in his field,

36
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:41,060
but you don't see me rushing
to collaborate with him

37
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,603
on new ways to be stuck in a box.

38
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:46,983
Yeah, also something I would watch
instead of cricket.

39
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:01,247
Oh, (CHUCKLES) hello.

40
00:02:02,248 --> 00:02:03,249
Hey, Sheldon.

41
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,001
Yeah, I've been thinking about it

42
00:02:05,084 --> 00:02:08,546
and I suppose I could help you
with your research.

43
00:02:09,046 --> 00:02:10,047
What changed your mind?

44
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,301
Bert, I'm a gift horse.
Don't look me in the mouth.

45
00:02:14,427 --> 00:02:16,345
Sorry. I'm happy you wanna help out.

46
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,597
If it's easier for you
we could just work at your office.

47
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:20,808
What? No, no, no. Not in my office, no.

48
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,476
Uh, (STAMMERS) let's do it here,

49
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:23,853
in the evenings,

50
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,646
after everyone's gone home.

51
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,066
I just have to see
if my evenings are free.

52
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,193
That's a joke. They are.

53
00:02:32,445 --> 00:02:34,238
Okay. Well, then I will see you tonight.

54
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:38,242
(GASPS)

55
00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:39,368
(EXCLAIMS)

56
00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:40,453
You know what, (STAMMERING)

57
00:02:40,578 --> 00:02:42,121
close the blinds,
we can start right now.

58
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,042
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

59
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:12,109
(ALL CHEERING)

60
00:03:14,153 --> 00:03:17,865
I don't get how you can enjoy cricket.
It makes no sense.

61
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,784
Did you just come here to complain?

62
00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,078
Yeah. That's the sport of my people.

63
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,999
Oh, that's Ravichandran Ashwin,
he's amazing.

64
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,668
He makes Hardik Pandya look like
Bhuvneshwar Kumar.

65
00:03:31,087 --> 00:03:33,506
Uh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Save some syllables for the rest of us.

66
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,010
Hey, I think that's
Bernadette's friend over there.

67
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:41,347
Oh, yeah. Hey, Ruchi.

68
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:44,892
I hope this isn't awkward.

69
00:03:45,184 --> 00:03:47,061
The last time we met
I kind of embarrassed myself.

70
00:03:47,436 --> 00:03:48,979
Hmm, let's see if you can
go two for two.

71
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:51,565
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

72
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:53,317
- Hi.
- Are you here by yourself?

73
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:56,278
Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
to come watch cricket with me.

74
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,447
(CHUCKLES) Tell me about it.
I had to drag this guy.

75
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:02,451
You're more than welcome
to join us if you'd like.

76
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,577
Thanks.

77
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:05,663
(CROWD GROANING)

78
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,581
(SPEAKING HINDI)

79
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:09,542
What'd she say?

80
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,502
(SPEAKING HINDI)

81
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,339
Ah, that clears that up.

82
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,634
She's telling the bowler
to bowl a yorker.

83
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:20,302
It's the most brutal ball in cricket.

84
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:23,931
I was at the match when Shoaib bowled
back-to-back yorkers.

85
00:04:24,265 --> 00:04:26,058
I was there too. What a coincidence.

86
00:04:26,559 --> 00:04:29,145
Well, there were 120,000 people
at that match, so...

87
00:04:29,645 --> 00:04:30,729
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, India, right?

88
00:04:30,980 --> 00:04:33,858
Everywhere you go
there's like 120,000 people. (CHUCKLES)

89
00:04:35,568 --> 00:04:37,361
So, what do you think of our chances
at the World Cup?

90
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:41,365
Uh, World Cup. You know, it'll all
depend if Kohli's batting in form.

91
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,326
I know, it doesn't even matter
how many all-rounders you have.

92
00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,744
Isn't that the truth.

93
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,122
You know, I was the best leg spinner
in my high school.

94
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,332
Yeah, like, I bowled the meanest googly.

95
00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:53,127
Speaking of googlies, (CHUCKLES)
I'm gonna go.

96
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,049
I've been modeling different types
of dark matter

97
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:02,011
and the traces they would leave
on the zircon inside your meteorite.

98
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,054
What's this one here?

99
00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:07,475
That's actually a dark matter model
of my own creation.

100
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,143
I call it the Cooper Boson.

101
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,021
Cool. I got to name a rock once.

102
00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,815
I named it Moderately Sedimented Shale.

103
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,861
Guess I kind of pooped the bed
on that one.

104
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,158
You know, Bert, I have got to say,

105
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:26,827
this work has been
surprisingly engaging.

106
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:28,579
Yeah, it's pretty cool.

107
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,623
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

108
00:05:31,582 --> 00:05:32,708
Hello, Amy.

109
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,669
What do you mean, where am I?

110
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,129
I'm in my office.

111
00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:40,758
No, I'm at your office
and you're not here.

112
00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:42,676
I thought I'd surprise you with dinner.

113
00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:45,638
Wait, for future reference,
the best surprises

114
00:05:45,721 --> 00:05:47,765
are the ones I know about
three days in advance.

115
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,601
Where are you?

116
00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:53,646
(STUTTERS) I could say it's a surprise.
Doesn't feel so good, does it?

117
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,566
Well, I have food.
I thought we could eat together,

118
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:58,943
but I guess if you have other plans...

119
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,028
What? I'm here! (PANTING)

120
00:06:04,657 --> 00:06:06,283
Exactly where I said I was.

121
00:06:06,617 --> 00:06:08,202
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Let's eat.

122
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:13,916
- Hello.
- Hey, buddy, what's up?

123
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,669
Um, I need to talk to Penny alone.

124
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,379
(CHUCKLES)

125
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:23,592
- What can I do for you?
- Just a minute,

126
00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,803
I wanna make sure Leonard can't hear us.
(CLEARS THROAT)

127
00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972
I've got a box of cupcakes.

128
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:32,560
Okay, we're good.

129
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,521
I'm working with Bert,

130
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:37,982
but I don't want anyone to find out.

131
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:40,985
Well, you just told me,
so, strong start.

132
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,405
Penny, this is serious.

133
00:06:44,572 --> 00:06:46,156
My reputation is on the line.

134
00:06:46,699 --> 00:06:49,034
What are people gonna think
when they see us collaborating?

135
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,161
I don't know. "Poor Bert"?

136
00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:56,208
I am a respected theoretical physicist.

137
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,877
I aspire to win a Nobel Prize someday.

138
00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,713
But no one is gonna take me seriously

139
00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,798
if they find out I've been
dabbling in geology.

140
00:07:03,299 --> 00:07:04,883
Well, why not? They're both sciences.

141
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,510
And I know, because they're classes

142
00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,846
my high school counselor said
"weren't for me."

143
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:13,559
They're very different.

144
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:17,313
Physics answers the question,
"What is the nature of the universe?"

145
00:07:17,563 --> 00:07:20,774
And geology answers the question,
"What'd I just trip over?"

146
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,237
All right, well,
then don't work with Bert.

147
00:07:25,404 --> 00:07:26,614
No, but I like the work.

148
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:28,657
- Then work with him.
- Yeah, but I'm ashamed of the field.

149
00:07:28,824 --> 00:07:31,076
- Then don't work with him.
- Yeah, but we could prove dark matter.

150
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,411
- Then work with him.
- But I just think that people...

151
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:33,704
How many times are you gonna do this?

152
00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,081
My record is 14.

153
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,377
Okay, (SIGHS) this is about science,
why'd you come to me?

154
00:07:40,753 --> 00:07:43,464
Well, because it's also about
my reputation.

155
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:46,759
And somehow,
you manage to hold your head high

156
00:07:46,842 --> 00:07:48,218
despite your checkered past.

157
00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:52,389
"Checkered past"?

158
00:07:53,015 --> 00:07:56,518
I's a figure of speech referring to
how sexually promiscuous you were.

159
00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:01,398
Really? Well, I've got
a figure of speech

160
00:08:01,482 --> 00:08:04,234
about how sexually promiscuous
you can go be with yourself.

161
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:09,239
And what is it?

162
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:14,828
Look, while Bernadette's on bed rest

163
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:16,914
we're gonna have to divide and conquer.

164
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:19,333
I've got one monitor for her,
one for the baby.

165
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:21,460
Which do you want?

166
00:08:22,086 --> 00:08:23,921
I'll take the baby,
she's less emasculating.

167
00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:29,009
Good morning. Scones?

168
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,053
- Ah, thanks.
- They're all for you,

169
00:08:31,136 --> 00:08:32,721
I already had breakfast at Ruchi's.

170
00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:35,140
You're kidding. You slept with her?

171
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,142
Well, there wasn't
a lot of sleeping involved.

172
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,436
I mean, she slept, I stayed awake.

173
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,064
I was afraid of snoring
'cause I didn't have my special pillow.

174
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,692
BERNADETTE: Howardl

175
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:46,485
Can you help me to the bathroom?

176
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:49,655
(SIGHS) At least the romance
is still alive.

177
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,494
- So...
- (RAJESH SIGHS)

178
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,870
You and Ruchi.

179
00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,455
Yeah, I'm sorry,
I know you liked her too.

180
00:08:58,539 --> 00:09:00,916
But we just bumped into each other
last night and hit it off.

181
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,876
Hmm, no, that's fine.

182
00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,420
You're my friend and I'm happy for you.

183
00:09:04,795 --> 00:09:05,879
Oh, thank you, Stuart.

184
00:09:05,963 --> 00:09:08,257
Plus, I don't know how you're gonna
screw it up, but I know you will.

185
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,301
What's there to screw up?

186
00:09:11,427 --> 00:09:12,594
She just wants to keep things casual.

187
00:09:12,803 --> 00:09:14,304
Oh, great. That's how you're gonna
screw it up.

188
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,391
Hey, I can be casual.

189
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,686
Mmm-hmm. I should get a haircut,
this thing's going south fast.

190
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,190
So, Ruchi and I decided
to keep things casual.

191
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,608
(SCOFFS)

192
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:32,114
Wait... What? I can handle casual.

193
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:33,615
(SCOFFS)

194
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,785
Why do you keep doing that
with your face?

195
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,537
Because you keep saying
stupid things with yours.

196
00:09:40,539 --> 00:09:41,915
Okay, fine,

197
00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,250
I'm not great at casual relationships

198
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,752
and I don't wanna scare her off.

199
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,336
All right.
Just give her some space, all right.

200
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,713
Don't call, don't text, don't e-mail.

201
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:51,425
That's crazy. What if I see a sunset
that reminds me of her?

202
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,346
All right, when do you see her next?

203
00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:57,765
Uh, we're having dinner tonight.

204
00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,308
Okay,

205
00:09:59,558 --> 00:10:01,143
put a rubber band around your wrist

206
00:10:01,477 --> 00:10:04,646
and any time you start planning
your wedding or naming your children,

207
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,191
I want you to stab yourself
in the hand with a fork.

208
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:13,739
What's the rubber band for?

209
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:14,990
To slow the bleeding.

210
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,746
Hey, how's Bernadette handling bed rest?

211
00:10:21,163 --> 00:10:25,250
Well, she lies around all day
eating Mallomars and hollering at me,

212
00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:29,379
so her transformation from
my wife to my mother is complete.

213
00:10:32,591 --> 00:10:34,802
Congratulations, I know
that's what you were hoping for.

214
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,724
Hey, Sheldon, you left your jacket
in my office last night.

215
00:10:40,891 --> 00:10:43,519
(STAMMERING) No, I didn't.
That's not my jacket.

216
00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:45,896
Then why does it say
"Property of S. Cooper,

217
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,105
"stop touching it"?

218
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,109
That sounds like someone named Scooper
doesn't want you touching his jacket.

219
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,989
Are you guys working together
on that meteorite project?

220
00:10:56,073 --> 00:10:58,575
(SIGHS) Yes, fine. You found me out.

221
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,118
I'm doing geology.

222
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:01,662
Just, please, don't tell anyone.

223
00:11:02,788 --> 00:11:04,081
Are you embarrassed of me?

224
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,958
Oh, no, no, no. Not you.

225
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,418
No, just the work that
you've devoted your entire life to.

226
00:11:10,712 --> 00:11:13,674
If you're ashamed to be working with me
then I don't wanna work with you.

227
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:17,928
Sheldon, that was pretty rude.

228
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,430
Yeah, well, what do you expect,
he's a geologist.

229
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:28,814
- This place seems nice.
- Yeah, uh,

230
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,733
but not too nice.
Yelp called it "good for groups."

231
00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,696
- Would you care to buy the lady a...
- No! Get out of here.

232
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:40,534
(CHUCKLES) Sorry about that.

233
00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:42,870
I just... I hate when someone assumes
two people are dating

234
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,622
just because they look like they would
make beautiful babies together.

235
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,625
Are you sure you're okay with this?

236
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:50,168
Honestly, Ruchi,

237
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:52,963
I don't have a lot of experience
with casual relationships.

238
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,757
I have some experience
with serious relationships

239
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:58,302
and a ton of experience
with no relationships.

240
00:12:01,430 --> 00:12:03,974
- You're funny.
- Glad it came off that way. (CHUCKLES)

241
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:07,394
Uh, so, tell me about your day.

242
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:08,854
How's work going?

243
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:12,566
Well, I spent the morning reviewing
side effects for our fungal cream,

244
00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,192
so it was lot of ooze and pus...

245
00:12:14,651 --> 00:12:17,863
(MIKE RENO & ANN WILSON'S
"ALMOST PARADISE" PLAYING)

246
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:29,041
And then I had to catalog it by color,

247
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,501
viscosity

248
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:35,339
and percentage of blood.

249
00:12:41,762 --> 00:12:42,971
Sounds wonderful.

250
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,144
- Hey.
- Hmm.

251
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:51,521
Whatcha got there?

252
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:52,856
(SIGHS)

253
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,066
A rock.

254
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,028
Did some mean boys throw it at you?

255
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,115
It turns out I'm the mean boy.

256
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,535
Although I did drop it on my own foot,
so, kind of.

257
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,455
What's going on?

258
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,625
What if there was something
I wanted to do,

259
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:15,045
but I was worried other people
would think less of me?

260
00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:18,340
Is that other person me
and does it happen in the bedroom,

261
00:13:18,423 --> 00:13:19,591
in which case, I think I'm cool with it?

262
00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:25,514
No.

263
00:13:27,349 --> 00:13:29,184
It's about working with Bert on...

264
00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:30,727
You know what,
I'm not even gonna say it.

265
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:33,397
I am just gonna say
the letter it starts with

266
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:34,815
and "ology."

267
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:36,525
G... Oh, no, that's not gonna work.

268
00:13:39,528 --> 00:13:41,029
- Geology?
- Yes.

269
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:44,908
But we parted ways because
I was worried about my reputation.

270
00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,034
(SIGHS)

271
00:13:46,118 --> 00:13:47,119
Sheldon,

272
00:13:47,452 --> 00:13:48,996
you've never cared what people thought.

273
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,999
Even when you really, really should.

274
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,628
That dinner with my parents
comes to mind.

275
00:13:57,796 --> 00:14:00,549
If I'm not gonna use "your momma" jokes
when I meet your mother,

276
00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,342
why'd I bother to learn them?

277
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:06,471
I'm just saying,

278
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,057
if you think the work is interesting,

279
00:14:09,141 --> 00:14:10,434
nothing else should matter.

280
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:13,478
You're right, Amy.

281
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:15,814
That is sage advice.

282
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:19,067
Which is surprising considering
your momma is so dumb, she...

283
00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:20,360
Nope.

284
00:14:24,114 --> 00:14:26,033
She studied for a urine test. (LAUGHS)

285
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,790
I was supposed to go back
to India and get married,

286
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,792
but I realized it wasn't what I wanted.

287
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:38,462
So I called off the engagement
and moved out here.

288
00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:41,006
Well, if he wasn't your soulmate,
he wasn't your soulmate.

289
00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:44,009
Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those.

290
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,636
One of what?

291
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,597
I wanna say "teenage girls,"

292
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,015
but that sounds mean.

293
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:53,852
Come on. You don't believe that
everyone has one perfect match?

294
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,605
Of course not. That's ridiculous.

295
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:59,483
I mean, what if your soulmate
lived halfway across the world?

296
00:14:59,608 --> 00:15:01,610
- You'd never meet.
- Yes, you would.

297
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:03,028
I can give you, like, 20 examples

298
00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:04,488
where that happened
to Kate Hudson alone.

299
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:08,950
You know what, people get upset
when I talk about this.

300
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:10,035
Let's just change the subject.

301
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:11,578
No, no, no. No, it's fine.

302
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,373
Are you saying that you don't believe
two people fall in love?

303
00:15:15,749 --> 00:15:18,085
Of course, they do.
It's just that what people call "love"

304
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,921
is actually a series of
biochemical reactions in the brain

305
00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:22,089
that fade over time.

306
00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:25,967
Ah, yes. Like the old song,

307
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:28,595
When a Man Has a Biochemical Reaction
for a Woman.

308
00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:32,099
Raj, we're scientists.

309
00:15:32,224 --> 00:15:34,434
We don't need to feel threatened
just because we understand

310
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,853
the mechanisms that give rise
to romantic feelings.

311
00:15:37,813 --> 00:15:39,731
It doesn't take anything away
from the experience.

312
00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,191
Yes, it does.

313
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,401
Actually, it takes everything
away from it.

314
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,946
Love isn't just science, okay.

315
00:15:46,029 --> 00:15:47,364
(STAMMERS) It's spiritual.

316
00:15:47,531 --> 00:15:50,325
It's an acknowledgment of a mystery
that's greater than ourselves.

317
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,161
It's what makes people
write songs and poems

318
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,498
and what has kept The Bachelor on TV
for 21 magical seasons.

319
00:15:58,625 --> 00:15:59,709
Don't you think the fact

320
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,087
that love is given away
as a prize on a game show

321
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,672
slightly undermines your argument?

322
00:16:04,673 --> 00:16:07,092
Uh, yes, but I've
never missed an episode

323
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,885
and I dare science to explain that.

324
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,142
Bert? Bert, Bert?

325
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,227
Bert, Bert, Bert?

326
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:20,355
What do you want, Sheldon?

327
00:16:20,522 --> 00:16:22,732
I would like us to work together again.

328
00:16:22,983 --> 00:16:26,361
And I promise to keep
my geology comments to myself

329
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,488
because while some of them are funny,

330
00:16:28,572 --> 00:16:29,781
all of them are mean.

331
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,327
Well, this is awkward.

332
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,043
Leonard, what are you doing here?

333
00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:43,503
Bert asked for my help.

334
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,422
Yeah. He's an excellent scientist

335
00:16:45,547 --> 00:16:47,924
and he doesn't tell me
what time I can go to the bathroom.

336
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,595
It's called bladder training,

337
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,763
and when you're in your 80s
you'll thank me for it.

338
00:16:54,973 --> 00:16:58,185
Look, Sheldon, you were a jerk to Bert,
and he walked away from you.

339
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:00,520
So I feel like there's a lot
he could teach me.

340
00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:03,732
Bert, please.

341
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,735
(SIGHS) I know I behaved poorly
in the past,

342
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,154
but things will be different this time.
You'll see.

343
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:10,739
Come on.

344
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,032
Let me in.

345
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:15,827
We'll have some laughs,

346
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,205
we'll calculate some isotope ratios.

347
00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:23,919
I'm sorry, Sheldon.

348
00:17:25,587 --> 00:17:26,838
(DOOR CLOSES)

349
00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:29,382
So, you just shut the door in his face?

350
00:17:29,466 --> 00:17:31,009
I gotta start writing this stuff down.

351
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:35,889
I mean, Ruchi is nice,

352
00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:37,265
we're just so different.

353
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:40,310
I know. Sometimes when you're dating
you meet weird people.

354
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:42,479
I once met a girl
who didn't like juggling. (CHUCKLES)

355
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,564
And she still doesn't.

356
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,069
So you're not gonna see her again?

357
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,030
(SIGHS) What's the point? We're never
gonna be in a real relationship.

358
00:17:52,364 --> 00:17:54,950
Right. So you'll only be
in a physical one?

359
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:57,285
Exactly. Why would I wanna spend time
with someone like that?

360
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,955
Someone who is just interested in sex?

361
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,123
Yeah.

362
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,210
- Raj, do you really...
- Wait! Hold on, give him a chance.

363
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,336
He's gonna get this.

364
00:18:09,673 --> 00:18:10,799
I don't think he is.

365
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,385
What is there to get?

366
00:18:13,510 --> 00:18:14,552
She doesn't want to fall in love.

367
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,304
At that point, all we are

368
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,723
is two single people who find
each other attractive and enjoy having...

369
00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:20,225
Oh, gotta go. (CLEARS THROAT)

370
00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,233
So, how was your night with Ruchi?

371
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,860
Oh, great. We ordered in some food,

372
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,445
we had sex, I left.

373
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,072
I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it.

374
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:35,240
(HOWARD CHUCKLES)

375
00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,409
I can field that one for her.

376
00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,705
I mean, I did get a little misty
when we said goodbye,

377
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,206
but I played it off as allergies.

378
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:44,374
I don't know if she bought it.

379
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:46,126
Again, I know.

380
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,005
Sheldon?

381
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:51,923
You okay?

382
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:53,216
Sheldon.

383
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:55,969
(MIKE RENO & ANN WILSON'S
"ALMOST PARADISE" PLAYING)

384
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,824
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)