1
00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:05,006
Hmm, some news of our wedding.

2
00:00:05,131 --> 00:00:07,675
I have sent you all
a save the date email.

3
00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:09,468
Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date?

4
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,637
Better, I picked eighty dates.

5
00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,849
And I need you to save them all
until we narrow it down.

6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,393
I thought we agreed on June 15th.

7
00:00:18,102 --> 00:00:19,478
That's the day after Flag Day.

8
00:00:20,104 --> 00:00:21,272
Everybody will be partied out.

9
00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:24,692
It's a date, just pick one.

10
00:00:24,775 --> 00:00:28,029
It's not just a date,
it's a textbook optimization problem.

11
00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,405
There is a perfect date,

12
00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:32,241
just like there's a perfect
room temperature and a perfect dessert.

13
00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,243
Hmm. There's no perfect dessert.

14
00:00:34,452 --> 00:00:36,954
Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur
with chocolate frosting,

15
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,207
scoop of vanilla ice cream
on the side, not touching.

16
00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:42,501
You'll see,
you'll have it at our wedding.

17
00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:45,254
You wanna bet?

18
00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:49,717
You give me enough time, I can do
the same thing with the wedding date.

19
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,887
It needs to be on the weekend,
not near any of your birthdays

20
00:00:52,970 --> 00:00:54,263
or the weekend of Comic-Con.

21
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:55,806
Oh, you can get married at Comic-Con.

22
00:00:55,890 --> 00:00:56,891
- No!
- No!

23
00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,812
We just need a weekend date
that's completely boring and uneventful.

24
00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:03,731
Too bad you didn't get
your ducks in a row

25
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:05,191
'cause tonight would've been perfect.

26
00:01:07,026 --> 00:01:09,654
(THEME SONG PLAYING)

27
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,724
Good morning.

28
00:01:39,517 --> 00:01:40,518
Good morning.

29
00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,771
I know today is Apple Jack's day,
but we're all out.

30
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:46,565
That's fine. I'll have anything.

31
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,277
- Really?
- Yeah.

32
00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:51,570
You know, whatev.

33
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:56,367
"Whatev?" I like this side of you.

34
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:58,494
You know what I like?

35
00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,371
Smooth jazz.

36
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:16,971
(SCATTING)

37
00:02:24,395 --> 00:02:26,856
Hey, just a reminder,
I'm goin' out for drinks after work.

38
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,483
Great. Just a reminder, you're pregnant.

39
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,571
I'm not drinking,
just taking a new co-worker out.

40
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:36,407
(CHUCKLES) Just a reminder,
you're married.

41
00:02:38,284 --> 00:02:39,577
Female co-worker.

42
00:02:39,994 --> 00:02:41,996
She's new in town
and I wanna make her feel welcome.

43
00:02:42,455 --> 00:02:44,373
And let her know
the office is full of liars

44
00:02:44,457 --> 00:02:45,833
before everyone tells her I'm mean.

45
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,836
Is she single?

46
00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,047
I'm not setting her up with Raj.

47
00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:52,298
What about Stuart?

48
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,759
Are you listening?
I want her to think I'm not mean.

49
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,305
Okay. Well, it's just,
we have two single friends.

50
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,308
Howie, I just met this woman.

51
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:04,268
Why don't I wait a little
and get to know her.

52
00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,020
Maybe I won't like her

53
00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,397
and then I'd be happy
to ruin her life with Stuart or Raj.

54
00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:11,525
That's all I ask.

55
00:03:15,488 --> 00:03:16,989
So you guys lived with Sheldon
for a long time.

56
00:03:17,114 --> 00:03:19,033
- Long time.
- So very long.

57
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,995
By the way, congratulations again
on your engagement.

58
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:24,997
Yeah, you got a good one.

59
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,250
Thanks. So it's strange,

60
00:03:28,501 --> 00:03:30,211
Sheldon was talking
in his sleep last night

61
00:03:30,628 --> 00:03:32,838
and he seemed like
a totally different person.

62
00:03:33,047 --> 00:03:36,675
He was relaxed and loose and calm.

63
00:03:37,009 --> 00:03:38,844
Sheldon's a complicated man.

64
00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:40,388
He said "whatev."

65
00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:42,556
Get him a brain scan,
that might be a tumor.

66
00:03:44,809 --> 00:03:47,269
Well, I think the wedding planning
is really stressful for him

67
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:49,021
and that can trigger sleep talking.

68
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:52,483
Maybe this is a part of Sheldon's
personality he's been repressing.

69
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:55,528
Yeah, I think we dream about things
we wish we could be in real life.

70
00:03:56,195 --> 00:03:57,488
Really? What do you dream about?

71
00:03:57,696 --> 00:03:59,115
Oh, uh...

72
00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:01,951
Being the wife of Leonard, mostly that.

73
00:04:03,327 --> 00:04:04,412
(CLEARS THROAT)

74
00:04:04,495 --> 00:04:05,496
I choose to believe you.

75
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:08,582
Well, as much as we've
studied the brain,

76
00:04:08,666 --> 00:04:10,918
there's still a lot we don't know
about dreams and their function.

77
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,837
You know, even psychologists
are divided on it.

78
00:04:13,087 --> 00:04:15,589
Mm, it's true. Freud thought dreams
were about sex.

79
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:17,007
Adler thought they were about dominance.

80
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:20,177
Then again mine are just about
being married to this little guy.

81
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:24,306
Okay, now it's just edging into mockery.

82
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,895
Well, moving to a new city
was a little scary,

83
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,481
but the job seems great.
Everyone's really nice.

84
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:34,358
Oh, they are, super nice.

85
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,569
I mean, only one of them
took you out tonight,

86
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:38,737
but it's not a competition.

87
00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:40,906
Thanks again.

88
00:04:41,157 --> 00:04:43,868
You know, we could've gone somewhere
more pregnancy friendly.

89
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:47,037
Oh, it's okay. One of the great things
about being pregnant

90
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,956
is drinking cranberry juice
out of a wine glass

91
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,666
- and watching people freak out.
- (RUCHI CHUCKLES)

92
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,043
Bernie!

93
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,337
Oh, damn.

94
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,966
Hey, what are the odds?

95
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:01,844
Yes, seren-frickin'-dipity.

96
00:05:03,554 --> 00:05:05,723
- Hello, Rajesh.
- Stuart.

97
00:05:06,015 --> 00:05:07,016
Hi, Ruchi.

98
00:05:07,475 --> 00:05:08,684
Ruchi is my co-worker,

99
00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:10,853
but that was probably
in your briefing packet.

100
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,150
(KEYS CLATTERING)

101
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,488
- Hi.
- Hello.

102
00:05:20,905 --> 00:05:21,906
What's wrong?

103
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,366
(SIGHS) Well, I found
the perfect wedding date.

104
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:25,993
That's terrific!

105
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:29,163
No, it's not, it was May 19th, 1996.

106
00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,083
We would've had a lovely wedding

107
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,710
and our honeymoon would have coincided

108
00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:36,670
with the first appearance
of the Hale-Bopp comet.

109
00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:39,423
Sheldon, you were 16.

110
00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:42,218
And in Texas,
no one would have batted an eye.

111
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:44,011
Oh, wait, it's no good,

112
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,514
that's the day that Jon Pertwee,
the third Doctor Who died.

113
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,225
- And it's in the past.
- Hey, I said it's no good,

114
00:05:49,308 --> 00:05:50,309
just let it go.

115
00:05:51,769 --> 00:05:55,648
Sheldon, I appreciate you trying
to make this wedding perfect,

116
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,691
but it's making you miserable.

117
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,485
The wedding isn't making me miserable,

118
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,028
the calendar is.

119
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:03,155
Why can't there just be
one week each month

120
00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:04,657
for famous people to die?

121
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,118
Well, they've already arranged
to die in threes.

122
00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:09,245
What more do you want from them?

123
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,457
This is so frustrating.
Why can't I find the perfect date?

124
00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:16,252
I found the perfect way
to say hi to cowboys. (CLICKS TONGUE)

125
00:06:18,546 --> 00:06:21,549
(STUTTERS) I'm just saying,
maybe there's a part of you deep down

126
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:24,385
that just wants to
relax a little, you know,

127
00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:27,346
kick back, say "whatev."

128
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,307
"Whatev?"

129
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,018
I'm sorry, are you really not gonna
finish that word?

130
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:36,480
- I'm just trying to make a point.
- Finish the word, Amy.

131
00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:39,149
Fine, "er."

132
00:06:40,109 --> 00:06:41,110
Er, er, er.

133
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,280
Thank you, only now you owe me
three more "whatevs."

134
00:06:47,658 --> 00:06:49,952
Ah, you were born in Trivandrum.

135
00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:52,288
Have you ever been
to the Kuthira Malika Palace?

136
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:53,789
No, I haven't.

137
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,292
Me either. What a small world!
(CHUCKLES)

138
00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,295
I've also never been there.

139
00:06:59,587 --> 00:07:02,089
I've never been lots of places.
Go on, quiz me.

140
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:05,676
I'm sorry, we're being rude
talking about India.

141
00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:08,596
Oh, yeah, you know, if you
and Bernadette wanna talk about America,

142
00:07:08,679 --> 00:07:09,805
that's cool with us.

143
00:07:09,888 --> 00:07:11,015
Here, let me get you started.

144
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:13,309
(IN AMERICAN ACCENT)
Hamburgers, am I right?

145
00:07:16,145 --> 00:07:17,271
So what do you guys do?

146
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:20,149
Well, I'm an astrophysicist,

147
00:07:20,316 --> 00:07:23,193
so if you ever go out at night
and look up at the stars,

148
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,112
it's kind of my office. (CHUCKLES)

149
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,364
He sells comic books to children.

150
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:31,619
Actually, I own my own store,

151
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,163
(STUTTERS) if you'd like
to check it out sometime,

152
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,581
I'm running a new promotion,

153
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,293
"Buy anything, get taken out
for a reasonably-priced dinner."

154
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,504
Yeah, yeah,
Stuart's struggling financially,

155
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:45,424
but he doesn't let that get him down.
He believes in himself,

156
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,427
even though the whole world
has made it clear he should not.

157
00:07:53,182 --> 00:07:54,183
Thank you,

158
00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:56,226
and you know, Raj, I think it's great

159
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:59,104
that you no longer live off your parents
like a spoiled child.

160
00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:02,650
You live over someone's garage,
like a failed adult.

161
00:08:04,401 --> 00:08:05,778
Yeah, well, you live with her.

162
00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:10,074
Oh, it's not like that. He rents a room
from me and my husband,

163
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,034
who, by the way is no prize either.

164
00:08:16,789 --> 00:08:18,415
Oh, I don't care.

165
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,335
You know me, I just go with the flow.

166
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,715
Beach, public pool,

167
00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:29,093
they both sound awesome.

168
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,722
SHELDON: (ON SPEAKERS)
On second thought, beach,

169
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,058
I'd like to befriend a seagull.

170
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,186
That is crazy.

171
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:42,106
Yeah. Will you email that to me?

172
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:45,067
Have you played this for him?

173
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:47,986
No, I'm worried he'll say
I violated his privacy.

174
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,072
Listen, how happy he sounds.

175
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:51,949
SHELDON: I'm up for anything.

176
00:08:52,825 --> 00:08:54,326
As long as I'm with you.

177
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:57,663
What're you listening to?

178
00:08:57,746 --> 00:08:58,747
Nothing.

179
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,207
Oh, come on, I wanna hear.

180
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:04,586
SHELDON: We don't need GPS,

181
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,548
let's just see where the road takes us.

182
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,759
I see why you turned it off,

183
00:09:10,843 --> 00:09:12,052
that guy sounds like an idiot.

184
00:09:13,679 --> 00:09:14,888
Honey, that's you.

185
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:18,225
Don't be silly.
My voice is deep and sonorous,

186
00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,686
like a Caucasian James Earl Jones.

187
00:09:22,855 --> 00:09:24,648
"Luke, I'm your father." See.

188
00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,944
It is you. I recorded you in your sleep.

189
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,989
SHELDON: Oh, look, a hitchhiker,

190
00:09:32,948 --> 00:09:35,200
I bet he has some interesting stories.

191
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:39,079
- That's me?
- It's you.

192
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:41,957
So you spied on me in my sleep?

193
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:43,584
Sheldon, I'm sorry,

194
00:09:43,709 --> 00:09:45,210
you've been doing this every night.

195
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,129
I couldn't help but wonder
if it meant something.

196
00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,339
- Well, it doesn't.
- Are you sure?

197
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,760
I mean, the prefrontal cortex
regulates impulse control,

198
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,887
so its plausible that when we're asleep,

199
00:09:55,012 --> 00:09:58,015
aspects of our personality
that we repress might come out.

200
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,935
Don't try to put science lipstick
on your New Age pig.

201
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:05,314
And for the record,
you make noises when you sleep

202
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:08,025
and I've never accused you
of repressing your inner chainsaw.

203
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:13,822
If you want me to
object at your wedding,

204
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,115
just give me one of these.

205
00:10:23,999 --> 00:10:27,586
This picture of Galactus eating a planet
looks like my preggo wife

206
00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:28,921
destroying a coffee cake.

207
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,800
Oh, yeah, I see it.

208
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,178
I'm just saying, you should bow out.

209
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:37,596
Why should I bow out?

210
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:39,807
Because we all know
how this is gonna end.

211
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:43,101
That's what my doctor said, too,
but I'm still here.

212
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:49,358
Okay, look, I think that
she and I have more in common.

213
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:51,401
Because you're Indian?

214
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,737
So just 'cause she's brown,
you get to date her.

215
00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,572
Yes.

216
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:59,827
And the next time we meet a woman who's
pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours.

217
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:01,703
(SIGHS)

218
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,164
Howard, Bernadette was there last night,

219
00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,833
did she say anything when she got home?

220
00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:09,711
Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell
those idiots where I was? Thanks a lot."

221
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,005
Okay, how about we flip a coin?

222
00:11:12,256 --> 00:11:15,259
Hang on, doesn't this girl
get a word in all of this

223
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,969
and isn't that word "no"?

224
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,472
Ruchi said she wanted to hang out
with both of us,

225
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:21,723
why don't we just do that?

226
00:11:22,099 --> 00:11:25,018
Oh, fine. Let's hang out as friends
and see what happens.

227
00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,729
Yeah, and if something grows out of it,
just worry about it then.

228
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:29,439
Also what my doctor said.

229
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,321
Hey, this isn't your laundry night.

230
00:11:36,405 --> 00:11:38,782
(SIGHS) I know, laundry on a Wednesday.

231
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:40,826
Some madness my life has become.

232
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,622
Why is this sleep talking thing
bothering you anyway?

233
00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:46,874
It's simple.

234
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,667
I don't like the idea that my mind

235
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,836
might be keeping
an entire personality from me.

236
00:11:51,336 --> 00:11:53,755
Doctor Jekyll's other personality
was Mr. Hyde.

237
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:57,593
Mr. Hyde didn't have
a postgraduate degree.

238
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,430
Is it possible that you're stressed

239
00:12:01,513 --> 00:12:03,432
because you're scared
about getting married?

240
00:12:03,891 --> 00:12:07,102
I mean, it is a big change
and you're not good with little changes.

241
00:12:07,853 --> 00:12:09,354
That's nonsense.

242
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,773
You name one little change
I was upset with.

243
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:15,444
Uh, when they changed
the green Skittle from lime to apple.

244
00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:18,572
That is not the rainbow
I grew up tasting.

245
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,449
(SIGHS)

246
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:21,992
All right, fine. Let's start over.

247
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:23,619
Is it possible

248
00:12:23,702 --> 00:12:25,662
that the sleep talking is a part
of your brain that's telling you

249
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:28,665
everything's gonna be okay
and you just need to relax a little?

250
00:12:29,458 --> 00:12:31,919
So, you're proposing that

251
00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,712
the self is an illusion.

252
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:37,299
And that we actually have
multiple centers of consciousness

253
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,176
that are communicating with one another?

254
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,555
In layman's terms, yeah.

255
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,683
Huh! Interesting.

256
00:12:47,142 --> 00:12:49,728
So you don't believe
there is a Cartesian self

257
00:12:49,811 --> 00:12:51,813
that underlies the flux of experience.

258
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,566
Maybe in my twenties, not anymore.

259
00:12:56,193 --> 00:12:57,402
Okay.

260
00:12:58,362 --> 00:12:59,571
Well assuming you're right,

261
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:01,490
what would you suggest I do?

262
00:13:02,157 --> 00:13:03,575
Well, I would start
with something small.

263
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,035
See if it makes your life any better.

264
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,955
Uh, you could learn to meditate,
take a yoga class.

265
00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:12,542
You know, I have always
been intrigued by flip-flops,

266
00:13:14,753 --> 00:13:16,964
the official footwear
of the laid back fellow.

267
00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,591
Okay. Sure.

268
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,259
Of course if my feet
are gonna be exposed

269
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:22,594
I'll need to update my tetanus booster.

270
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:24,596
Oh, yeah. Makes sense.

271
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,391
And while I'm there, I might as well
get a flu shot and a mole check.

272
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,517
Sure. (SIGHS)

273
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,686
You know, I've never had a mole check.

274
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,229
Oh.

275
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,189
Well, it's been nice knowing you.

276
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,153
- Here you go.
- Thanks.

277
00:13:40,654 --> 00:13:42,739
It's too bad Stuart couldn't make it.
He seemed fun.

278
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,534
Oh, yeah. He is. I love him dearly.

279
00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,869
Not to say that I don't worry about him.

280
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,663
What's to worry about?

281
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,291
You know what?
I'm talking out of school.

282
00:13:55,085 --> 00:13:57,045
Speaking of which,
he's allowed to live near them now.

283
00:13:59,923 --> 00:14:01,258
Hey, guys!

284
00:14:01,425 --> 00:14:03,552
- Oh, great, Stuart, you're here.
- Yes, Stuart.

285
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,178
Yeah, I didn't, I didn't think
you were gonna make it.

286
00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:07,264
Hmm. I believe that.

287
00:14:07,389 --> 00:14:09,182
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

288
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,435
Sorry guys, it's work.
I've got to take it.

289
00:14:12,436 --> 00:14:15,230
- I'm so glad you made it, Stuart.
- Oh, yeah, so glad.

290
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:18,692
I can't believe you went behind my back.

291
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,944
Which clearly means I want this more.

292
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:23,780
You wanna play a game
of "who's more desperate" with me,

293
00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:28,160
'cause you're in
the big leagues now, Bucko.

294
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:31,288
Look, Ruchi and I
are really hitting it off.

295
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,040
Please let me just have this one.

296
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,501
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm like a fungus you can't get rid of.

297
00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,297
Sorry. So what's going on?

298
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:43,800
Oh, you just missed Stuart's funny story
about the fungus he can't get rid of.

299
00:14:46,011 --> 00:14:49,514
Raj didn't tell me about tonight,
so he could be alone with you.

300
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:53,060
Really? That's a little weird.

301
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:55,729
Just a little?
Because I can work with that.

302
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,983
Look, guys, I'm not interested
in dating anyone right now.

303
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,818
I'm just looking to make some friends.

304
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:04,071
Yeah, I totally understand.

305
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:06,239
But if you were gonna date someone,
would it be me or Stuart?

306
00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,826
I think I'm gonna go.

307
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,745
(STUTTERING)

308
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:12,871
Ruchi, I'm sorry.

309
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,832
If you still wanna
hang out as friends, I'd like that.

310
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:18,126
Thanks, Stuart. I'd like that, too.

311
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,174
And the fungus is under the toenail.

312
00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,566
- Hello.
- Hey.

313
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:44,903
So, um...

314
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:46,571
I, uh...

315
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,533
I got flip-flops.

316
00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:52,828
Good for you.

317
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:55,497
Oh, my God! What happened?

318
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,250
After I got the flip-flops, I realized

319
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,460
that the tops of my feet
were exposed.

320
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,171
So, I put on some sunscreen,

321
00:16:03,255 --> 00:16:05,423
which caused my feet to become slippery.

322
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:09,678
And predictably, one of them fell off
and went down a sewer grate.

323
00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:13,348
Now normally, I would have walked away,

324
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:16,685
but this is a new, laid back me.

325
00:16:16,852 --> 00:16:20,772
So, instead of getting upset
I just reached down to grab it.

326
00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,608
That's when I touched something furry.

327
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,865
Which I'm telling myself,
was a damp toupee.

328
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,828
When the toupee licked my hand,

329
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:43,420
I screamed and hopped down the street
on my remaining flip-flop.

330
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,215
- Can I just ask...
- This is a long story,

331
00:16:47,299 --> 00:16:49,134
why don't we please
save your questions till the end?

332
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,597
So, I finally came upon a bus bench

333
00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,391
where I sat and removed one of my shirts

334
00:16:56,558 --> 00:16:59,477
and, fashioned it
into a makeshift shoe.

335
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,230
Not a waterproof shoe.

336
00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,691
That is relevant
to the next part of my story,

337
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:09,237
the ankle-deep puddle
of warm apple juice.

338
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:13,742
Apple juice?

339
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,411
Maybe, maybe not.

340
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:21,708
I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.

341
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:25,962
What happened to your other flip-flop?

342
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:30,258
(STUTTERS) Oh, that involves
what I'm telling myself

343
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,177
was a melted candy bar.

344
00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:35,805
(SIGHS)

345
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:39,351
(STUTTERS) I'm sorry.

346
00:17:40,352 --> 00:17:42,062
Is there anything I can do to help?

347
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:43,730
Yes.

348
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:46,900
I want you to be in charge
of our wedding.

349
00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,027
Just you tell me where and when,

350
00:17:49,194 --> 00:17:52,572
and I will show up with a boutonniere,
and close-toed shoes,

351
00:17:52,864 --> 00:17:56,826
and, a Star Trek uniform
underneath my tuxedo.

352
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:00,789
That last part is non-negotiable.

353
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:04,334
Are you sure that's what you want?

354
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,295
As sure as
I'm about to go bathe in Purell.

355
00:18:10,882 --> 00:18:12,717
- I love you.
- I love you, too.

356
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,888
You know, ever since I was a young girl,

357
00:18:18,223 --> 00:18:20,141
I've dreamed of a June wedding,

358
00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,893
maybe on a cliff

359
00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:24,104
overlooking the ocean at sunset.

360
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:27,065
Sure.

361
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:32,612
Sounds wonderful.

362
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:36,741
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go clean up.

363
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,122
Outdoor wedding.

364
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,667
SHELDON: I know what I'll be using
that cliff for.

365
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,429
I call this meeting
of the Council of Sheldons to order.

366
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,389
Let's take roll.

367
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:01,975
Science Sheldon.

368
00:19:02,434 --> 00:19:03,435
Present.

369
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:06,396
Texas Sheldon.

370
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:07,814
Howdy.

371
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:11,735
Fanboy Sheldon.

372
00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:13,320
Greetings.

373
00:19:15,447 --> 00:19:16,781
Germophobe Sheldon.

374
00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:18,408
Say it, don't spray it.

375
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,621
Where is Jock Sheldon?

376
00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,500
Not the time, Humorous Sheldon.

377
00:19:29,753 --> 00:19:31,004
Okay. New business.

378
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,507
Do we grant Laid-back Sheldon

379
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,759
a seat on the council?

380
00:19:36,301 --> 00:19:38,345
Hey, whatever you guys want.

381
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:42,474
I'm just chilling like Bob Dylan.

382
00:19:44,434 --> 00:19:46,102
- Negative.
- Heck, no.

383
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:47,771
I don't feel well.

384
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:49,939
(HONKS)

385
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,318
Can we kick him out, too?