1 00:00:02,152 --> 00:00:06,054 No, see, the liquid-metal terminators were created in the future by Skynet... 2 00:00:06,222 --> 00:00:08,281 ...and Skynet was developed by Miles Dyson... 3 00:00:08,458 --> 00:00:12,417 ...but that future no longer exists due to Dyson's death in Terminator 2. 4 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:15,155 Okay, then riddle me this. 5 00:00:15,331 --> 00:00:16,992 Assuming all the good terminators... 6 00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:19,795 ...were originally evil terminators created by Skynet... 7 00:00:19,969 --> 00:00:23,029 ...then reprogrammed by the future John Connor, why would Skynet... 8 00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:25,106 ...an artificial computer intelligence... 9 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:29,473 ...bother to create a petite, hot, 17-year-old killer robot? 10 00:00:31,347 --> 00:00:33,440 Skynet is kinky? I don't know. 11 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:37,978 Artificial intelligences do not have teen fetishes. 12 00:00:38,154 --> 00:00:41,180 - All right, wait. They use it to lure-- - Eh! Too late, I win. 13 00:00:56,873 --> 00:00:58,841 What the hell is that? 14 00:00:59,709 --> 00:01:02,940 I don't know. But if cats could sing... 15 00:01:03,113 --> 00:01:04,808 ...they'd hate it too. 16 00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:15,783 Hey, guys. 17 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,154 - Hi, where are you going? - What? 18 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,729 We just had to mail some letters. 19 00:01:21,898 --> 00:01:25,061 And throw away some chicken. 20 00:01:42,452 --> 00:01:44,352 You'll never guess what just happened. 21 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:45,988 - I give up. - I don't guess. 22 00:01:46,156 --> 00:01:49,751 As a scientist, I reach conclusions based on observation and experimentation. 23 00:01:50,727 --> 00:01:54,219 Although it occurs to me, you may have been employing a rhetorical device... 24 00:01:54,397 --> 00:01:56,262 ...rendering my response moot. 25 00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,497 - What was that? - Believe it or not, personal growth. 26 00:02:00,670 --> 00:02:01,694 What happened? 27 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:06,001 Remember when I auditioned for Rent but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why? 28 00:02:06,176 --> 00:02:08,167 I have a conclusion based on an observation. 29 00:02:08,344 --> 00:02:09,368 No, you don't. 30 00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:10,843 No, he doesn't. 31 00:02:11,281 --> 00:02:14,910 The girl picked to play Mimi, she dropped out and they asked me to replace her. 32 00:02:15,084 --> 00:02:17,882 - Oh! Congratulations, what a lucky break. - It's not a big a deal. 33 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:20,818 Just one night, but they invite casting people and agents. 34 00:02:20,990 --> 00:02:22,014 So you never know. 35 00:02:22,192 --> 00:02:24,626 - I think I know. - No, you don't. 36 00:02:25,195 --> 00:02:28,255 - He doesn't. - It's this Friday at 8, you guys wanna come? 37 00:02:28,431 --> 00:02:29,591 - No. - No. 38 00:02:31,267 --> 00:02:36,136 Because Friday, we are attending a symposium... 39 00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:37,898 ...on molecular positronium. 40 00:02:38,074 --> 00:02:41,202 - I think that's a week from Tuesday at 6. - No, it's this Friday. 41 00:02:41,778 --> 00:02:44,508 - At 8. - Oh, too bad. 42 00:02:44,681 --> 00:02:46,945 - I gotta get to rehearsal. See you guys. - See you. 43 00:02:52,889 --> 00:02:55,016 - You just lied to Penny. - Yes, I did. 44 00:02:55,191 --> 00:02:56,522 And you did it so casually. 45 00:02:56,693 --> 00:02:59,628 No rapid breathing, no increase in perspiration. 46 00:02:59,796 --> 00:03:02,026 - So? - So lack of a physiological response... 47 00:03:02,198 --> 00:03:05,998 ...while lying is characteristic of a violent sociopath. 48 00:03:06,169 --> 00:03:08,467 Sheldon, are you worried about your safety? 49 00:03:08,638 --> 00:03:12,768 No. I imagine if you were going to kill me, you'd have done it a long time ago. 50 00:03:13,209 --> 00:03:15,370 That's very true. 51 00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:03,119 Leonard? 52 00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:04,555 Leonard? 53 00:04:04,727 --> 00:04:06,752 - Leonard? - What? 54 00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:10,462 I need to speak to you. 55 00:04:10,633 --> 00:04:12,965 - It's 2:00 in the morning. - It's important. 56 00:04:13,136 --> 00:04:15,730 I highly doubt that. 57 00:04:15,905 --> 00:04:17,896 Go away. 58 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,839 Are you still out there? 59 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,038 Yes. 60 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,477 What? 61 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,844 You're right, it can wait until morning. 62 00:04:34,891 --> 00:04:37,086 - What, what, what? - Never mind. 63 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,785 I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. 64 00:04:39,963 --> 00:04:43,364 - You're in no state of mind to talk. - Sheldon, what is it? 65 00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:48,028 I'm uncomfortable having been included in your lie to Penny. 66 00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:51,835 - What was I supposed to say? - You could have told her the truth. 67 00:04:52,008 --> 00:04:53,635 That would have hurt her feelings. 68 00:04:54,444 --> 00:04:56,708 Is that a relevant factor? 69 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:58,107 Yes. 70 00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:00,306 Then I suppose you could have agreed to go. 71 00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:02,974 And what would I have said afterwards? 72 00:05:03,152 --> 00:05:05,211 I would suggest something to the effect of: 73 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,789 "Singing is neither an appropriate vocation nor avocation for you... 74 00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:12,155 ...and if you disagree, I recommend a CAT scan to look for a tumor... 75 00:05:12,328 --> 00:05:15,855 ...pressing on the cognitive processing centers of your brain." 76 00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:18,258 I couldn't say that. 77 00:05:18,434 --> 00:05:22,734 I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again." 78 00:05:23,373 --> 00:05:25,068 Why? 79 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,038 It's the social protocol. 80 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,234 It's what you do... 81 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,812 ...when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at. 82 00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:34,248 I was not aware of that. 83 00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:37,011 - Well, now you are. - Oh, all right. 84 00:05:37,186 --> 00:05:38,676 - Leonard? - Yes? 85 00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:42,723 When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. 86 00:05:42,892 --> 00:05:44,416 Good night. 87 00:05:48,898 --> 00:05:50,490 Leonard? Leonard? 88 00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:53,032 Leonard? Leonard? 89 00:05:53,202 --> 00:05:56,399 This would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath. 90 00:05:56,572 --> 00:05:59,006 Leonard? Leonard? 91 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:02,541 - What? - I was analyzing our lie... 92 00:06:02,712 --> 00:06:05,772 ...and I believe we're in danger of Penny seeing through the ruse. 93 00:06:06,215 --> 00:06:08,149 - How? - Simple. 94 00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:13,482 If she were to log on to www. socalphysicsgroup.org/activities/other... 95 00:06:13,656 --> 00:06:17,217 ...click on upcoming events, scroll to seminars, download the PDF schedule... 96 00:06:17,393 --> 00:06:20,191 ...and look for the seminar on molecular positronium, then... 97 00:06:20,363 --> 00:06:24,060 ...bippity boppity boo, our pants are metaphorically on fire. 98 00:06:28,738 --> 00:06:32,105 Well, sir, my trousers will not be igniting today. 99 00:06:34,610 --> 00:06:35,804 Penny? 100 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,206 Penny? 101 00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:38,972 Penny? 102 00:06:39,549 --> 00:06:40,675 Good morning. 103 00:06:40,850 --> 00:06:43,580 - Do you have any idea what time it is? - Of course I do. 104 00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:47,519 My watch is linked to the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado. 105 00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:50,158 It's accurate to one-tenth of a second. 106 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,521 As I'm saying this it occurs to me once again... 107 00:06:52,695 --> 00:06:55,255 ...your question may have been rhetorical. 108 00:06:55,698 --> 00:06:56,892 What do you want? 109 00:06:57,066 --> 00:06:59,330 Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come... 110 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,994 ...because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium? 111 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,404 I remember symposium. 112 00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:10,507 Yes, well, he lied. 113 00:07:11,214 --> 00:07:12,772 Wait, what? 114 00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:16,214 He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it. 115 00:07:16,385 --> 00:07:18,444 Well, imagine how I'm feeling. 116 00:07:19,889 --> 00:07:21,186 Hungry? 117 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,489 Tired? 118 00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,356 I'm sorry, this really isn't my strong suit. 119 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:29,395 You told her I lied? 120 00:07:29,565 --> 00:07:31,430 Why would you tell her I lied? 121 00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:33,935 To help you. 122 00:07:34,770 --> 00:07:36,397 I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help. 123 00:07:36,572 --> 00:07:38,904 She was going to see through your lie eventually... 124 00:07:39,075 --> 00:07:41,543 ...so I told her that you were lying to protect me. 125 00:07:42,979 --> 00:07:45,539 Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling. 126 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,410 Hunger? 127 00:07:48,251 --> 00:07:49,275 Indigestion? 128 00:07:49,452 --> 00:07:51,545 I'm sorry, I'm really not very good at this. 129 00:07:51,988 --> 00:07:54,684 Anyway, Penny now believes that on Friday night... 130 00:07:54,857 --> 00:07:59,521 ...we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention. 131 00:08:00,496 --> 00:08:01,690 Your cousin Leopold. 132 00:08:01,864 --> 00:08:04,389 Whom most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. 133 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,000 Remember that, it's important. 134 00:08:06,435 --> 00:08:08,528 - What's important? - Details, Leonard. 135 00:08:08,704 --> 00:08:12,868 The success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details. 136 00:08:13,042 --> 00:08:16,569 - Do you have a cousin Leopold? - No, I made him up. 137 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,748 I think you'd call him Lee. 138 00:08:20,816 --> 00:08:24,582 I don't get it. I already told her a lie, why replace it with a different lie? 139 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,552 Well, first of all, your lie was laughably transparent... 140 00:08:27,723 --> 00:08:30,157 ...where mine is exquisitely convoluted. 141 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,854 While you were sleeping, I was weaving an un-unravelable web. 142 00:08:36,032 --> 00:08:38,432 - Un-unravelable? - Yes. 143 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,536 If she Googles Leopold Houston, she'll find a Facebook page... 144 00:08:41,704 --> 00:08:44,264 ...an online blog depicting his descent into drug use... 145 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:48,137 ...and a desperate yet hopeful listing on eHarmony.com. 146 00:08:49,011 --> 00:08:52,845 Okay, why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin? 147 00:08:53,015 --> 00:08:56,212 Ah! Because it's in Long Beach and I don't drive. 148 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,814 We're going to Long Beach? 149 00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:01,855 Of course not, there's no cousin Leo, there's no intervention. 150 00:09:02,024 --> 00:09:04,618 - Focus, Leonard. - Oh, come on. 151 00:09:05,494 --> 00:09:08,793 We just leave the house on Friday night and return in the wee hours... 152 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:12,731 ...emotionally wrung out from the work of convincing Leo to go back into rehab. 153 00:09:12,902 --> 00:09:14,392 So he goes back into rehab? 154 00:09:14,570 --> 00:09:19,803 Yes, but he can relapse if Penny ever invites us to hear her sing again. 155 00:09:21,410 --> 00:09:22,877 You still told her I lied. 156 00:09:23,045 --> 00:09:24,307 Yeah, for a noble purpose. 157 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:28,246 To spare me the social embarrassment of having a drug-addled first cousin. 158 00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:31,147 - Which I'm assuming is embarrassing, yes? - I don't know. 159 00:09:32,688 --> 00:09:36,488 - How am I supposed to remember all this? - That's the best part, you don't have to. 160 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:40,652 I told Penny that you would be embarrassed if you knew she found out you had lied... 161 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:44,732 ...so she's agreed to operate as if the original lie is still in force. 162 00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:52,340 So she's expecting me to lie about going to a symposium in Pasadena... 163 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:57,502 ...when in actuality, we're pretending to go to a drug intervention in Long Beach. 164 00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,504 Un-unravelable. 165 00:10:04,585 --> 00:10:07,383 Oh, hey, Penny. Wow, look at you, all ready for your showcase. 166 00:10:07,555 --> 00:10:09,045 - You look great. - Thanks. 167 00:10:09,223 --> 00:10:13,387 I just wanted to come by and wish you guys luck with your symposium. 168 00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:15,458 Oh. 169 00:10:15,629 --> 00:10:18,063 - Well, thank you. - You know, I gotta tell you. 170 00:10:18,232 --> 00:10:21,429 A lot of friends would let their friend go alone, but that's not you. 171 00:10:21,602 --> 00:10:25,333 You are the kind of guy who stands by a friend when.... 172 00:10:25,506 --> 00:10:28,407 When he has a symposium to go to. 173 00:10:31,545 --> 00:10:33,809 I don't know what to say. 174 00:10:34,515 --> 00:10:37,882 - It's okay, Leonard. - Oh, okay, all right, good. 175 00:10:38,719 --> 00:10:40,209 - Oh, boy, group hug. - Uh-uh. 176 00:10:40,387 --> 00:10:44,346 - Uh-uh? - Okay. So, what's up? 177 00:10:44,525 --> 00:10:48,655 Well, Penny is on her way to perform in a one-night showcase production of Rent... 178 00:10:48,829 --> 00:10:52,094 ...which we are unable to attend, because we're going to a symposium... 179 00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:56,635 ...on molecular positronium given by Dr. Emil Farmanfarmian. 180 00:10:56,804 --> 00:11:01,298 Wait a minute, Farmanfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium? 181 00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:04,978 - Howard, I'm sorry, we would've-- - No, no, you're quark-blocking us. 182 00:11:07,281 --> 00:11:09,476 I don't know what to say. 183 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,041 Wow. 184 00:11:11,218 --> 00:11:13,186 - Howard-- - It's your Millennium Falcon... 185 00:11:13,354 --> 00:11:16,187 ...you and Chewbacca do whatever you wanna do. 186 00:11:17,491 --> 00:11:21,018 Me and Princess Leia here will find some other way to spend the evening. 187 00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:22,822 Howard, wait. 188 00:11:22,997 --> 00:11:26,057 Sheldon, I think we should tell them. 189 00:11:27,234 --> 00:11:28,565 Okay, sure. 190 00:11:28,736 --> 00:11:30,294 I don't see a problem with that. 191 00:11:31,639 --> 00:11:33,630 There's no symposium. 192 00:11:33,807 --> 00:11:35,900 Leonard lied to me. Isn't that right, Leonard? 193 00:11:36,076 --> 00:11:37,566 Well.... 194 00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:41,737 - I don't know what to say. - It's okay, I do. 195 00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:44,544 Look, Leonard is helping Sheldon through a family crisis. 196 00:11:44,718 --> 00:11:49,348 He made up the whole story about the symposium with Dr. Farmanfarmian-- 197 00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:50,581 - Good for you. - Ha! Yeah. 198 00:11:52,293 --> 00:11:56,161 He didn't want Sheldon to be embarrassed. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. 199 00:11:56,330 --> 00:11:58,264 Every family in America has a relative... 200 00:11:58,432 --> 00:12:01,560 ...holed up in a garage somewhere huffing paint thinner. 201 00:12:02,269 --> 00:12:05,170 No, I'm lost too. I think she skipped a step. 202 00:12:05,973 --> 00:12:10,376 Now, look, Sheldon's cousin Leo escaped rehab and he's in a Motel 8 in Long Beach. 203 00:12:10,544 --> 00:12:12,808 The whole family's going out for an intervention. 204 00:12:12,980 --> 00:12:15,676 Leonard is driving Sheldon down to help him through this... 205 00:12:15,849 --> 00:12:19,683 - ...because he's such a good man. - Oh, another hug? Thank you. 206 00:12:21,155 --> 00:12:23,646 - All right, you guys. Good luck. - Thanks, Penny. 207 00:12:23,824 --> 00:12:25,553 - Break a leg. - Yeah, break a leg. 208 00:12:27,127 --> 00:12:28,526 So road trip to Long Beach. 209 00:12:28,696 --> 00:12:31,062 - We're not going to Long Beach. - Why not? 210 00:12:31,231 --> 00:12:34,291 Because Sheldon doesn't have a drug-addicted cousin Leopold. 211 00:12:34,468 --> 00:12:36,231 Oh, too bad. 212 00:12:36,971 --> 00:12:39,235 I've always wanted to go to Long Beach. 213 00:12:39,406 --> 00:12:42,204 It's a very nice community. The Queen Mary is docked there. 214 00:12:42,376 --> 00:12:45,743 Once the largest liner in the world, it's now a hotel and restaurant... 215 00:12:45,913 --> 00:12:48,939 ...where they host a surprisingly gripping murder-mystery dinner. 216 00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:50,874 - Sounds fun. - I'm game. 217 00:12:51,051 --> 00:12:53,281 - Shotgun. - No, no, no. 218 00:12:53,988 --> 00:12:57,389 Leonard gets nauseous unless he sits in front, and even then it's iffy. 219 00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:02,618 Wait, are we really going to Long Beach? 220 00:13:09,436 --> 00:13:12,337 Leonard? Leonard? Leonard? 221 00:13:12,506 --> 00:13:14,167 Let it go, Sheldon. 222 00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:17,640 The murderer was the first mate whether it makes sense to you or not. 223 00:13:18,912 --> 00:13:20,777 No, that's the least of our worries. 224 00:13:20,948 --> 00:13:22,779 I've been doing research on addiction... 225 00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:25,111 ...both the biochemical and behavioral aspects... 226 00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:28,516 ...and I think there's a problem with the current version of our lie. 227 00:13:28,689 --> 00:13:31,658 What are you talking about? It's fine, she bought it, it's over. 228 00:13:35,562 --> 00:13:37,757 Sadly, it's not. 229 00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,831 Substance abuse is a lifelong struggle. 230 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,525 But beyond that, I have realized the Leo I described... 231 00:13:42,703 --> 00:13:46,434 - ...would not have agreed to go to rehab. - Why not? 232 00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:48,040 Because Leo's a middle child. 233 00:13:48,809 --> 00:13:52,108 There's no Leo. How can you say that? 234 00:13:55,349 --> 00:13:57,840 You didn't read the bio, did you? 235 00:13:58,018 --> 00:14:01,078 He's not just a middle child, he is the quintessential middle child. 236 00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:03,951 From a broken home, to boot. Psychologically speaking... 237 00:14:04,124 --> 00:14:07,560 ...the attention he gets by rebelling, even to the point of destruction... 238 00:14:07,728 --> 00:14:10,697 ...is more emotionally valuable than help he would get at rehab. 239 00:14:10,864 --> 00:14:12,729 - I've got a solution. - Great. What is it? 240 00:14:12,900 --> 00:14:15,198 Get out. 241 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,537 Fine. 242 00:14:23,444 --> 00:14:25,071 I've hesitated to point this out... 243 00:14:25,245 --> 00:14:27,679 ...but I must remind you we are in our predicament... 244 00:14:27,848 --> 00:14:30,146 ...because of your initial and inadequate deceit. 245 00:14:30,317 --> 00:14:32,376 I'm just trying to clean up after your mess. 246 00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:38,624 We'll talk in the morning. 247 00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:52,766 Morning. 248 00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:54,705 Who are you? 249 00:14:55,509 --> 00:14:57,101 I am Sheldon's cousin Leo. 250 00:14:57,277 --> 00:14:59,677 Oh, God. 251 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,717 Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo. 252 00:15:04,885 --> 00:15:06,614 Au contraire. 253 00:15:06,787 --> 00:15:08,049 I'm 26 years old... 254 00:15:08,222 --> 00:15:13,558 ...I'm originally from "Denton, Texas," but I was a Navy brat. 255 00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:16,719 I was brought up on a variety of military bases around the world. 256 00:15:16,897 --> 00:15:20,333 As a result, I've often felt like an outsider, never really fitting in... 257 00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:22,969 ...probably the reason for my substance-abuse problem. 258 00:15:23,137 --> 00:15:26,106 Excuse me, we just went over this. 259 00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:30,710 As the middle child, your addiction is rooted in your unmet need for attention. 260 00:15:30,878 --> 00:15:33,642 Oh, Sheldon, are we really gonna go with pop psychology? 261 00:15:33,814 --> 00:15:36,647 For your information, this is all based on solid research. 262 00:15:36,817 --> 00:15:39,377 Just stick with the character profile I wrote for you. 263 00:15:39,553 --> 00:15:41,145 - Sheldon? - I'm sorry. 264 00:15:41,321 --> 00:15:42,879 Leonard, this is Toby Loobenfeld. 265 00:15:43,056 --> 00:15:45,786 He's a research assistant in the particle-physics lab... 266 00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:49,087 ...but he also minored in theater at MIT. 267 00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:51,128 It was more of a double major, actually. 268 00:15:51,498 --> 00:15:52,522 Theater and Physics. 269 00:15:52,699 --> 00:15:55,600 You can guess which one my bourgeois parents pushed me towards. 270 00:15:55,769 --> 00:15:56,963 Yeah, I got it. 271 00:15:57,137 --> 00:15:59,071 Sheldon, why? 272 00:15:59,239 --> 00:16:01,799 You see, while Leo would not have gone into rehab... 273 00:16:01,975 --> 00:16:05,968 ...it is completely plausible that we would have talked him into leaving the motel... 274 00:16:06,146 --> 00:16:08,307 - ...and coming home with us. - Oh.... 275 00:16:08,582 --> 00:16:10,607 Sheldon, how about this as my motivation? 276 00:16:10,784 --> 00:16:11,978 When I was 14 years old... 277 00:16:12,152 --> 00:16:16,179 ...I was abused in the Philippines by a clubfooted Navy chaplain. 278 00:16:17,758 --> 00:16:21,125 No, we're going with middle child and a genetic predisposition... 279 00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,820 ...to inadequate serotonin production. 280 00:16:23,997 --> 00:16:26,761 Swell, well, how do I play genetic predisposition? 281 00:16:27,935 --> 00:16:30,096 Subtextually, of course. 282 00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:35,335 Just have fun with it. 283 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:42,705 - Morning, Penny. - Hi. How did the intervention go? 284 00:16:42,883 --> 00:16:45,784 Unfortunately, we weren't able to convince him to go to rehab. 285 00:16:45,953 --> 00:16:49,150 Well, based on what you told me, I'm not surprised. 286 00:16:51,625 --> 00:16:54,150 But we did convince him to leave the motel. 287 00:16:54,328 --> 00:16:55,352 Come say hello. 288 00:16:57,097 --> 00:17:01,466 Leo, this is Penny, our friend and neighbor. 289 00:17:01,635 --> 00:17:04,832 Hi, Leo, how are you feeling? 290 00:17:10,143 --> 00:17:11,667 Let me ask you something, Penny. 291 00:17:12,112 --> 00:17:16,378 Have you ever woken up in a fleabag motel covered in your own vomit... 292 00:17:16,550 --> 00:17:19,314 ...next to a transsexual prostitute? 293 00:17:22,256 --> 00:17:26,386 - No. - Then don't ask me how I'm feeling. 294 00:17:28,895 --> 00:17:29,919 Well, that's Leo. 295 00:17:30,097 --> 00:17:34,363 Hey, why don't you tell me about your showcase last night? 296 00:17:34,534 --> 00:17:35,728 Oh, it was okay, I guess. 297 00:17:35,902 --> 00:17:38,427 Wasn't a big turnout, but they both seemed to like it. 298 00:17:39,106 --> 00:17:43,406 - There were only two people there? - By the end, yeah. 299 00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:46,374 Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan. 300 00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:49,781 I'm sorry? 301 00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:51,918 The Philippines. 302 00:17:53,687 --> 00:17:55,814 1992. 303 00:17:55,989 --> 00:17:57,889 The Subic Bay Naval Station. 304 00:17:58,058 --> 00:18:01,050 A young boy on the cusp of manhood. 305 00:18:01,795 --> 00:18:06,630 His only companions, mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. 306 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,133 Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man... 307 00:18:10,304 --> 00:18:14,400 ...who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving God... 308 00:18:14,574 --> 00:18:18,738 ...but who instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue... 309 00:18:18,912 --> 00:18:22,780 ...shoved down his adolescent throat. 310 00:18:23,850 --> 00:18:25,249 What choice did he have... 311 00:18:25,419 --> 00:18:31,255 ...but to drink, shoot and snort his pain away? 312 00:18:31,425 --> 00:18:33,893 Don't forget genetic predisposition towards addiction. 313 00:18:34,061 --> 00:18:35,085 Never been proven. 314 00:18:35,262 --> 00:18:37,662 - There have been studies. - Not double-blind studies. 315 00:18:37,831 --> 00:18:40,299 How could there be? Who would be the control group? 316 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,526 As you can see, detoxing can get pretty ugly. 317 00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:44,796 - Let's give them some privacy. - Yeah. 318 00:18:44,971 --> 00:18:46,734 Do you wanna come over, have coffee? 319 00:18:46,907 --> 00:18:49,933 - Sounds good. - I have a video of me singing last night. 320 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:51,941 Do you wanna see it? 321 00:18:52,179 --> 00:18:54,739 - Gee, why wouldn't I? - This is even better... 322 00:18:54,915 --> 00:18:58,078 ...than you coming to the showcase, now I get to watch you watch me. 323 00:18:58,251 --> 00:18:59,582 Yeah. 324 00:19:00,620 --> 00:19:03,384 Funny how things work out. 325 00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:06,152 But he loved the companionship and the wisdom... 326 00:19:06,326 --> 00:19:08,794 ...that his own father failed to provide. 327 00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:11,694 Your parents made the right decision. 328 00:19:17,571 --> 00:19:20,233 I cannot work like this. 329 00:19:29,583 --> 00:19:35,180 This is amazing, just sitting on a couch watching TV with a woman. 330 00:19:35,355 --> 00:19:40,793 Not being drunk or high or wondering if you're a dude down there. 331 00:19:42,596 --> 00:19:46,123 Leo, you are a very sweet, really funny guy. 332 00:19:46,299 --> 00:19:48,426 You're gonna do okay. 333 00:19:48,902 --> 00:19:50,927 One day at a time, Penny. 334 00:19:54,574 --> 00:19:56,769 One day at a time. 335 00:20:01,281 --> 00:20:03,943 How long is he going to stay here? 336 00:20:04,117 --> 00:20:07,848 He's a homeless drug addict, Leonard, where is he going to go? 337 00:20:08,088 --> 00:20:10,784 Boy, you have a lot to learn about lying.