1 00:00:01,816 --> 00:00:04,283 Hey, you guys have any plans for Valentine's Day? 2 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:05,951 Three months from now? No. 3 00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:07,619 - What? No? - I mean, 4 00:00:07,688 --> 00:00:10,143 secret romantic plans that would be ruined if I told you. 5 00:00:10,167 --> 00:00:12,167 Oh. 6 00:00:12,460 --> 00:00:14,259 What's going on, Raj? 7 00:00:14,328 --> 00:00:16,328 Well, how would you guys feel 8 00:00:16,397 --> 00:00:18,063 about going to India for my wedding? 9 00:00:18,132 --> 00:00:20,699 Oh, that's so exciting! 10 00:00:20,768 --> 00:00:22,968 Penny, you will never guess what I have planned 11 00:00:23,037 --> 00:00:25,838 for Valentine's Day. - Uh-huh. 12 00:00:25,906 --> 00:00:28,307 Can I feed peanuts to the elephants at your wedding? 13 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:31,010 - That is such a stereotype! - There won't be any elephants? 14 00:00:31,078 --> 00:00:32,322 Of course there'll be elephants. 15 00:00:32,346 --> 00:00:35,047 It's a stereotype that you feed them peanuts. 16 00:00:35,116 --> 00:00:37,516 Are you really gonna plan a wedding in three months? 17 00:00:37,585 --> 00:00:39,852 Yeah, well, her family's doing most of the work. 18 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,154 They're amazing. We talk all the time. 19 00:00:42,223 --> 00:00:43,122 Why? 20 00:00:43,190 --> 00:00:45,290 Because we're about to get married 21 00:00:45,359 --> 00:00:47,126 and they're gonna be my family. 22 00:00:47,194 --> 00:00:50,596 Amy and I are married, and I never talk to her family. 23 00:00:50,664 --> 00:00:52,097 Really? My parents love Leonard. 24 00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:54,333 Yeah. And my mom loves Penny, which is weird, 25 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,869 because I never knew she could love. 26 00:00:58,072 --> 00:01:00,305 And my dad has grown to really... 27 00:01:00,374 --> 00:01:02,007 like Howard. 28 00:01:03,244 --> 00:01:06,678 Yeah, there's a nice... coolness between us. 29 00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:08,847 Hey, guys, before Anu gets here, 30 00:01:08,916 --> 00:01:11,517 can I talk about the seating situation? 31 00:01:11,585 --> 00:01:13,130 I really don't want her to sit on the floor. 32 00:01:13,154 --> 00:01:15,854 Oh. No problem. Bernadette, floor. 33 00:01:15,923 --> 00:01:17,923 - Hey! - Yeah, you can't make my wife 34 00:01:17,992 --> 00:01:19,558 sit on the floor. - Fine. 35 00:01:19,627 --> 00:01:21,593 Howard, floor. 36 00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:23,228 Fine, I'll sit on the floor. 37 00:01:23,297 --> 00:01:24,408 Thank you, Penny. And, Leonard, 38 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:26,565 I was kind of hoping I could sit next to Anu. 39 00:01:26,634 --> 00:01:28,634 So now I have to sit on the floor? It's my house. 40 00:01:28,702 --> 00:01:30,013 Why can't Sheldon sit on the floor? 41 00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:32,704 That might be the dumbest thing you've ever said. 42 00:01:32,773 --> 00:01:34,506 WOLOWITZ: Guys, guys, 43 00:01:34,575 --> 00:01:36,141 there's a simple solution. 44 00:01:36,210 --> 00:01:39,445 I am not breaking up with her. 45 00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:43,982 All right. Let's keep thinking. 46 00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:46,285 Hey, everybody, it's Anu. 47 00:01:46,353 --> 00:01:47,719 Hi. 48 00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:48,754 ALL: Hi! Welcome! 49 00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:51,267 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 12x08 ♪ The Consummation Deviation Original Air D 50 00:01:51,291 --> 00:01:54,359 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 51 00:01:54,428 --> 00:01:57,729 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 52 00:01:57,798 --> 00:01:59,298 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 53 00:01:59,366 --> 00:02:02,000 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 54 00:02:02,069 --> 00:02:04,503 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 55 00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:07,172 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 56 00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,108 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 57 00:02:09,176 --> 00:02:10,676 ♪ Bang! ♪ 58 00:02:10,677 --> 00:02:16,177 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 59 00:02:16,225 --> 00:02:18,225 (groans): Oh, I am stuffed! 60 00:02:18,294 --> 00:02:20,561 I should not have eaten all those dumplings. 61 00:02:20,630 --> 00:02:22,763 (chuckles) 62 00:02:22,832 --> 00:02:24,231 I think we should have sex. 63 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,400 (passing horn honks) 64 00:02:27,904 --> 00:02:30,304 (squeakily): Me, too. 65 00:02:30,373 --> 00:02:32,206 Yeah, it's just, we haven't done it yet, 66 00:02:32,275 --> 00:02:33,507 and I think it's important 67 00:02:33,576 --> 00:02:35,387 to make sure we're compatible before we get married. 68 00:02:35,411 --> 00:02:36,844 I totally agree. 69 00:02:36,913 --> 00:02:38,345 Oh, just one question. 70 00:02:38,414 --> 00:02:40,347 While we're doing it, can I leave my shirt on? 71 00:02:40,416 --> 00:02:43,884 You know, the dumplings, pretty salty. 72 00:02:43,953 --> 00:02:45,953 It doesn't have to be tonight. 73 00:02:46,022 --> 00:02:47,454 How about this weekend? 74 00:02:47,523 --> 00:02:49,256 I can get us a room at my hotel. 75 00:02:49,325 --> 00:02:50,424 Okay. Sounds nice. 76 00:02:50,493 --> 00:02:52,393 We can order a bunch of room service, 77 00:02:52,461 --> 00:02:55,796 because I'm not eating anything between now and then. 78 00:02:55,898 --> 00:02:57,731 Aw. Are you worried? 79 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:58,899 I am not worried. 80 00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:01,502 If anything, I'm overconfident. 81 00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:03,938 Edging into smug. 82 00:03:05,207 --> 00:03:06,941 I'm sure it's gonna be fine. 83 00:03:07,009 --> 00:03:08,909 Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. 84 00:03:08,978 --> 00:03:10,878 Trust me, I've had no complaints. 85 00:03:10,947 --> 00:03:11,845 Good to know. 86 00:03:11,914 --> 00:03:14,381 Well, I've had questions, comments, 87 00:03:14,450 --> 00:03:15,883 some constructive criticism, 88 00:03:15,952 --> 00:03:18,052 (snorts): but... no complaints. 89 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:22,856 You're up early. 90 00:03:22,925 --> 00:03:25,125 Huh? Yes. I wanted to get a jump 91 00:03:25,194 --> 00:03:27,294 on planning a day of fun for you. 92 00:03:27,363 --> 00:03:28,707 Oh, that's sweet. What are we doing? 93 00:03:28,731 --> 00:03:30,531 Oh, no. Just you. I have other plans. 94 00:03:32,368 --> 00:03:35,869 Now, would you prefer to see The Grinch in 2-D or 3-D? 95 00:03:35,938 --> 00:03:38,305 I don't want to see it at all. 96 00:03:38,374 --> 00:03:41,742 Well, let's go 2-D. No sense in spending extra money. 97 00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:43,677 What are you gonna be doing? 98 00:03:43,746 --> 00:03:45,312 Being a great husband. 99 00:03:45,381 --> 00:03:47,748 Yeah, you're gonna need to show your work on that. 100 00:03:49,018 --> 00:03:51,118 After last night, I got to thinking 101 00:03:51,187 --> 00:03:54,088 that I should have a better relationship with your family. 102 00:03:54,156 --> 00:03:56,223 I think the one you have with them is perfect. 103 00:03:56,292 --> 00:03:57,658 I hardly have one at all. 104 00:03:57,727 --> 00:03:59,760 Which is perfect. 105 00:03:59,829 --> 00:04:01,895 Oh, Amy, they're important to you, 106 00:04:01,964 --> 00:04:03,764 and you're important to me. 107 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:05,477 Therefore, according to the transitive property, 108 00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:07,501 they're important to me. It's the same reason 109 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:09,203 I'm interested in your big, flat feet. 110 00:04:11,474 --> 00:04:13,907 Well, you know that my mom can be... 111 00:04:13,976 --> 00:04:16,443 well, difficult to get along with. - Which is why 112 00:04:16,512 --> 00:04:19,546 I'm starting with your dad and working my way up. 113 00:04:19,615 --> 00:04:21,181 All right. I'm just worried 114 00:04:21,250 --> 00:04:23,517 you might have a rather unpleasant day. 115 00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:25,185 Yeah, back at ya. I watched the trailer 116 00:04:25,254 --> 00:04:26,614 for The Grinch-- it looks terrible. 117 00:04:28,524 --> 00:04:30,524 (knocking) 118 00:04:30,593 --> 00:04:32,993 - Hi, Sheldon. - Oh, good. You're right on time. 119 00:04:33,062 --> 00:04:35,195 - Hi, Daddy. - Hey, pumpkin. 120 00:04:35,264 --> 00:04:38,532 Pumpkin? I've been calling her spaghetti squash. 121 00:04:38,601 --> 00:04:40,100 It's amazing that one woman 122 00:04:40,169 --> 00:04:42,603 can be different vegetables to different men. 123 00:04:42,672 --> 00:04:44,204 Bye. 124 00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:45,639 Bye. 125 00:04:45,708 --> 00:04:47,641 So, how does this work with in-laws? 126 00:04:47,710 --> 00:04:49,643 Am I supposed to be calling you Dad? 127 00:04:49,712 --> 00:04:51,045 Because I don't want to. 128 00:04:51,113 --> 00:04:53,414 - You don't have to. - Oh, thanks, Larry. 129 00:04:53,482 --> 00:04:55,382 Ooh. That doesn't sound right. 130 00:04:55,451 --> 00:04:58,018 (gasps) Maybe I should pick a vegetable for you. 131 00:05:00,623 --> 00:05:02,623 (video game noises on TV) 132 00:05:02,692 --> 00:05:04,725 Hey, Leonard, can you pause the game for a second? 133 00:05:04,794 --> 00:05:07,461 - Uh, hang on. - I'm about to beat Howard. 134 00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:08,796 What? Hey! 135 00:05:08,864 --> 00:05:10,397 What? 136 00:05:10,466 --> 00:05:11,832 He's our friend. 137 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:14,001 What's up, pal? 138 00:05:15,738 --> 00:05:18,005 I... I don't know how else to say this, 139 00:05:18,074 --> 00:05:21,775 but, um, Anu and I are going to have sex tonight. 140 00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:24,211 Yeah... 141 00:05:25,314 --> 00:05:27,681 Do you know how creepy that sounds? 142 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:30,017 Yeah... 143 00:05:32,488 --> 00:05:34,655 So, is this the first time? 144 00:05:34,724 --> 00:05:35,724 Yeah. 145 00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:37,691 - How you feeling about it? - Uh... 146 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:39,293 to be honest, I'm pretty anxious. 147 00:05:39,361 --> 00:05:42,529 I mean, this is the woman I'm marrying-- what if it's no good? 148 00:05:42,598 --> 00:05:44,198 Do we break up? Do we... 149 00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:47,134 sign on for a lifetime of mediocre sex? 150 00:05:47,203 --> 00:05:49,236 Just don't put so much pressure on it. 151 00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:51,305 It's always a little awkward in the beginning. 152 00:05:51,373 --> 00:05:53,640 I remember the first time I slept with Penny. 153 00:05:53,709 --> 00:05:54,709 It was bad? 154 00:05:54,744 --> 00:05:56,944 Oh, it was awesome! 155 00:05:59,515 --> 00:06:02,783 I will replay it in my head until the day I die. 156 00:06:02,852 --> 00:06:04,818 WOLOWITZ: Well, if it helps, I was really nervous 157 00:06:04,887 --> 00:06:06,587 my first time with Bernie. 158 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:11,291 Mostly because I was worried my mom would walk in. 159 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,059 Did she? 160 00:06:12,128 --> 00:06:14,428 Yea-- Yeah. 161 00:06:15,865 --> 00:06:17,209 BERNADETTE: I'll tell you one thing. 162 00:06:17,233 --> 00:06:19,266 Lock the door. 163 00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,635 Yeah, Raj, you're gonna be fine. 164 00:06:21,704 --> 00:06:23,637 Just break out some of your Kama Sutra moves. 165 00:06:23,706 --> 00:06:25,639 I don't really know any of that stuff. 166 00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,741 I just pretend I do to impress women. 167 00:06:27,810 --> 00:06:28,742 And by the way, 168 00:06:28,811 --> 00:06:30,344 Anu is Indian-- she's gonna know 169 00:06:30,412 --> 00:06:33,914 there's no sexual position called a "screeching lotus." 170 00:06:33,983 --> 00:06:35,849 Screeching lotus? 171 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:38,619 Sometimes I get leg cramps. It's my cover story. 172 00:06:39,722 --> 00:06:41,655 Look, she's probably nervous, too. 173 00:06:41,724 --> 00:06:44,158 Yeah, what if you're great and she's bad? 174 00:06:44,226 --> 00:06:45,325 How can she be bad? 175 00:06:45,394 --> 00:06:48,295 Raj, women can be bad at sex, too. 176 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,464 (laughs): No, that's silly. 177 00:06:54,103 --> 00:06:56,303 Hey, have you checked the dates on these? 178 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:57,771 They're all expired. 179 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,741 You buy candy in a comic book store, you get what you get. 180 00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,911 It's called Lethal Weapon, 181 00:07:03,979 --> 00:07:05,679 but isn't that redundant? 182 00:07:05,748 --> 00:07:07,815 Aren't weapons, by their very nature, lethal? 183 00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:09,316 I suppose you're right. 184 00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:11,785 Yeah, and don't even get me started on Unsolved Mysteries. 185 00:07:11,854 --> 00:07:14,221 I didn't get you started on Lethal Weapon. 186 00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:17,991 All right, this is another one of my favorite places, 187 00:07:18,060 --> 00:07:20,894 the comic book store. Feel free to look around. 188 00:07:20,963 --> 00:07:24,765 Vintage comics in back, vintage candy right here. 189 00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,867 What are you guys up to? 190 00:07:26,936 --> 00:07:29,436 Oh, father-in-law, son-in-law bonding. It's going great. 191 00:07:29,505 --> 00:07:31,505 Look at what he bought me at the train store. 192 00:07:31,574 --> 00:07:33,307 (blows whistle) 193 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:36,443 Yeah, it sounded louder in the car. 194 00:07:36,512 --> 00:07:37,978 Cool. Can I see it? 195 00:07:38,047 --> 00:07:39,047 Hmm? Sure. 196 00:07:40,149 --> 00:07:41,448 Oh. Interesting. 197 00:07:41,517 --> 00:07:44,051 I think this is one of those disappearing whistles. 198 00:07:44,119 --> 00:07:46,119 What are you talking about? 199 00:07:46,188 --> 00:07:47,387 (claps hands) 200 00:07:47,456 --> 00:07:48,755 Voilà! 201 00:07:48,824 --> 00:07:51,124 Amazing. 202 00:07:51,193 --> 00:07:54,027 Where did it go? 203 00:07:54,096 --> 00:07:55,929 Look in your pocket. 204 00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:58,332 (gasping): Oh! Oh! 205 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,068 Oh, how did you do that? 206 00:08:03,205 --> 00:08:05,906 Sorry, a magician never shares his secrets. 207 00:08:05,975 --> 00:08:07,052 I'll give you a hundred bucks. 208 00:08:07,076 --> 00:08:08,642 Sold! 209 00:08:08,711 --> 00:08:09,711 Okay. 210 00:08:09,778 --> 00:08:11,445 Hey. 211 00:08:11,513 --> 00:08:13,614 - Where's my wallet? - Voilà! 212 00:08:16,986 --> 00:08:19,119 Hey, Penny. I need your help. 213 00:08:19,188 --> 00:08:21,121 I am freaking out. 214 00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:22,356 Okay, is she there yet? 215 00:08:22,424 --> 00:08:24,391 No, I got here first. You know... 216 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:27,227 get the lay of the land. 217 00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:29,062 Raj, it's gonna be okay. Look, sex isn't 218 00:08:29,131 --> 00:08:30,864 the most important thing in a relationship. 219 00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:35,035 My first time with Leonard was nothing to write home about. 220 00:08:35,104 --> 00:08:36,203 Really? 221 00:08:36,272 --> 00:08:38,171 Yeah, but, you know, over time it got better. 222 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,806 S-So practice makes perfect? 223 00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:42,643 Well, practice makes better. 224 00:08:43,712 --> 00:08:45,045 (phone chimes) 225 00:08:45,114 --> 00:08:48,215 Oh, my God, oh, my God, she just texted. She's on her way up! 226 00:08:48,284 --> 00:08:49,983 Raj, calm down. You got this. 227 00:08:50,052 --> 00:08:52,252 Yes. Thank you, thank you. I got this. 228 00:08:52,321 --> 00:08:54,399 Just remember, the most important thing is to have fun. 229 00:08:54,423 --> 00:08:56,690 Stop putting so much pressure on me! 230 00:08:59,762 --> 00:09:01,795 Hi. 231 00:09:11,607 --> 00:09:13,774 Everything okay? 232 00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:20,614 Why are you acting so weird? 233 00:09:23,919 --> 00:09:26,053 Raj? What's going on? 234 00:09:26,121 --> 00:09:27,621 (champagne cork pops) 235 00:09:27,690 --> 00:09:30,791 Be right out! You look beautiful! 236 00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:40,752 Sorry, I had to use the facilities. 237 00:09:41,955 --> 00:09:44,189 With a bottle of champagne? 238 00:09:44,257 --> 00:09:46,658 Mm, I like to celebrate the little things in life. 239 00:09:47,894 --> 00:09:50,428 You need to go? There's still some left. 240 00:09:51,755 --> 00:09:53,234 Raj, what is going on? 241 00:09:53,258 --> 00:09:55,067 No, no, it's not what's going on, 242 00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:57,001 it's what's comin' off. 243 00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:58,303 Stop it. 244 00:09:58,371 --> 00:10:01,372 You're acting weird, and it's freaking me out. 245 00:10:01,441 --> 00:10:03,975 Why? Because I couldn't talk and ran in the bathroom 246 00:10:04,044 --> 00:10:05,810 to slug back a bottle of champagne 247 00:10:05,879 --> 00:10:08,112 when I pretended to pee? 248 00:10:08,181 --> 00:10:10,415 Okay, I think I'm gonna leave. 249 00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:12,851 No, no, wait, wait, don't-- okay, don't go. 250 00:10:12,919 --> 00:10:15,086 Fine. Then tell me what's going on. 251 00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:17,987 Well, funny story... 252 00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:18,637 The truth. 253 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,942 Oh, God, the truth is so not good for me! 254 00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:27,298 Voilà. 255 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,633 Darn it. 256 00:10:28,702 --> 00:10:29,868 It's okay. 257 00:10:29,936 --> 00:10:31,402 Here, let me show you again. 258 00:10:35,742 --> 00:10:38,510 It's like you're actually magic. 259 00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:43,748 You can do that but you still can't get my bra off. 260 00:10:45,318 --> 00:10:48,686 The rings don't roll their eyes at me. 261 00:10:48,755 --> 00:10:52,156 Excuse me, Turnip, we need to get going. 262 00:10:52,259 --> 00:10:55,527 But-but Howard was gonna show me some close-up magic. 263 00:10:55,595 --> 00:10:57,195 Well, if you want to see real magic, 264 00:10:57,264 --> 00:10:58,763 I'll take you to Union Station, 265 00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:00,932 home to trains, subways and busses that, 266 00:11:01,001 --> 00:11:04,235 every half hour-- voilà-- drive to the airport. 267 00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:06,571 I'd like to stay, if you don't mind. 268 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,972 Oh, not at all. 269 00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,808 Howard. A word. 270 00:11:12,412 --> 00:11:13,912 What's up? 271 00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:17,015 - I need you to stop being so delightful. - What? 272 00:11:17,083 --> 00:11:18,394 I'm supposed to be bonding with him. 273 00:11:18,418 --> 00:11:20,552 You have your own father-in-law; leave mine alone. 274 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,598 Tell you what, you take my father-in-law, I'll take yours. 275 00:11:22,622 --> 00:11:23,862 I don't want your father-in-law. 276 00:11:23,924 --> 00:11:27,458 What if I throw in a quarter? 277 00:11:27,527 --> 00:11:29,827 Do it again. Do it again. 278 00:11:31,164 --> 00:11:34,566 Mrs. Fowler. Mrs. Fowler. 279 00:11:34,634 --> 00:11:36,568 Mrs. Fowler. 280 00:11:38,004 --> 00:11:39,604 Sheldon, what's going on? 281 00:11:39,673 --> 00:11:40,905 Where is Larry? 282 00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:43,741 Oh, Turnip's out; I'm bonding with you. 283 00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:51,449 Okay, you wanted the truth, here it is. 284 00:11:51,518 --> 00:11:52,750 You have a drinking problem. 285 00:11:54,220 --> 00:11:56,621 No. I, uh, I have a talking problem, 286 00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:59,290 and a drinking solution. 287 00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:00,825 What does that mean? 288 00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,394 (sighs) 289 00:12:03,463 --> 00:12:06,831 Oh, Anu, for most of my life, 290 00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,900 I got so nervous around women 291 00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:11,069 that I couldn't talk to them without alcohol. 292 00:12:11,137 --> 00:12:14,038 So you've been drunk every time we've seen each other? 293 00:12:14,107 --> 00:12:15,940 No. No. It hasn't happened in a long time. 294 00:12:16,009 --> 00:12:17,575 And I really thought I was over it, 295 00:12:17,644 --> 00:12:20,612 but I guess... I-I don't know, 296 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,214 I guess I-I wanted so much for tonight to go well, 297 00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,450 that I-I stressed myself out. 298 00:12:25,518 --> 00:12:26,985 It came back. 299 00:12:27,053 --> 00:12:28,886 (sighs) 300 00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,989 Why didn't you tell me about this before? 301 00:12:31,057 --> 00:12:33,758 I was embarrassed. 302 00:12:33,827 --> 00:12:35,727 I get that. 303 00:12:38,064 --> 00:12:39,430 If it makes you feel any better, 304 00:12:39,499 --> 00:12:42,467 I've got things I'm embarrassed about, too. 305 00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:44,902 Really? Will you tell me one? 306 00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:47,872 Okay. Um... 307 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:50,575 Ugh. I hate telling people this. 308 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:54,412 I don't like music. 309 00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:57,081 What kind of music? 310 00:12:57,150 --> 00:12:59,751 Just all of it. 311 00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:03,621 It sort of seems like a waste of time. 312 00:13:03,690 --> 00:13:07,792 Even Beyoncé? 313 00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:09,427 See, this is why I don't tell people. 314 00:13:09,496 --> 00:13:11,095 No. Um, it's fine. It's just, 315 00:13:11,164 --> 00:13:15,033 have you heard "Single Ladies"? 316 00:13:15,101 --> 00:13:16,868 Yeah, and I don't get it. 317 00:13:16,936 --> 00:13:19,103 I mean, the lyrics are "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh." 318 00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:22,874 Y-You have to sing it in the voice of a goddess. 319 00:13:22,942 --> 00:13:24,742 Like: ♪ Oh, wa-ah, oh ♪ 320 00:13:24,811 --> 00:13:26,244 ♪ Wa-ah, oh ♪ 321 00:13:26,312 --> 00:13:27,512 ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ 322 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:30,014 ♪ Wa-ah, oh. ♪ (laughs) 323 00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:33,851 My point is, we both have our little eccentricities. 324 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,720 Little eccentricities? 325 00:13:35,789 --> 00:13:38,589 One is a deep-seated psychological disturbance, 326 00:13:38,658 --> 00:13:40,992 and the other can be solved by half a glass of chardonnay. 327 00:13:44,731 --> 00:13:48,533 So the doctor prescribed Nizoral and it blocked enzyme action, 328 00:13:48,601 --> 00:13:52,036 and the fungus cleared right up. 329 00:13:52,105 --> 00:13:55,840 That's a very disturbing picture. 330 00:13:55,909 --> 00:13:58,176 Yes, well, they say a picture's worth a thousand words, 331 00:13:58,244 --> 00:14:01,045 but I say nothing beats a picture and a thousand words. 332 00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:05,717 Still, you might want to take it off Facebook. 333 00:14:05,785 --> 00:14:07,919 Oh, no. It's in my nature to share. 334 00:14:07,987 --> 00:14:10,855 So, your turn. 335 00:14:10,924 --> 00:14:12,590 Uh, other than Amy, 336 00:14:12,659 --> 00:14:16,461 have you every had anything removed from your body? 337 00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:22,433 I am not going to answer that. 338 00:14:22,502 --> 00:14:25,303 Smart. Save something for our next get-together. 339 00:14:25,371 --> 00:14:28,172 Oh, we should commemorate this one with a selfie. 340 00:14:31,478 --> 00:14:35,880 Oh, look at us, two peas in a pod. 341 00:14:35,949 --> 00:14:37,448 Oh, speaking of vegetables, 342 00:14:37,517 --> 00:14:40,885 how about I start calling you Old Lady Green Beans? 343 00:14:45,725 --> 00:14:47,558 Hey, you look deep in thought. 344 00:14:47,627 --> 00:14:50,294 - Ah, I'm just reflecting. - About what? 345 00:14:50,363 --> 00:14:52,630 The first time we slept together. 346 00:14:52,699 --> 00:14:55,333 Oh, honey. Don't beat yourself up; it's great now. 347 00:14:57,837 --> 00:15:00,338 This is not good. 348 00:15:00,406 --> 00:15:01,806 Sheldon is hanging out with my mom. 349 00:15:01,875 --> 00:15:03,074 Yeah. O-One sec. 350 00:15:03,143 --> 00:15:05,743 W-What do you mean, "don't beat myself up"? 351 00:15:05,812 --> 00:15:07,879 AMY: Guys, focus. 352 00:15:07,947 --> 00:15:09,914 My mom thinks that Sheldon is the reason 353 00:15:09,983 --> 00:15:11,260 I don't spend a lot of time with her. 354 00:15:11,284 --> 00:15:12,583 Well, why would she think that? 355 00:15:12,652 --> 00:15:13,785 Because I told her. 356 00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:16,320 You need a cup of coffee? Wake up! 357 00:15:16,389 --> 00:15:18,823 So you've been using Sheldon as an excuse 358 00:15:18,892 --> 00:15:20,458 to get out of seeing your mother? 359 00:15:20,527 --> 00:15:22,226 (sighs) I know. 360 00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:23,828 I feel terrible. 361 00:15:23,897 --> 00:15:26,330 I love my mom but, you know, sometimes... 362 00:15:26,399 --> 00:15:29,333 Yeah. We-We've met her. Yeah. 363 00:15:29,402 --> 00:15:32,036 And it's easier to say I can't spend time with her 364 00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:36,140 because of Sheldon than to admit that I just, I don't want to. 365 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:37,942 Totally understandable. 366 00:15:38,011 --> 00:15:39,443 I'll ask again, what do you mean, 367 00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:41,412 "don't beat myself up"? 368 00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:45,783 And then you ask me 20 questions to try to determine 369 00:15:45,852 --> 00:15:48,052 which Nobel Prize-winning physicist I am. 370 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:49,654 Ready? Go. 371 00:15:53,259 --> 00:15:55,760 Can I give up? 372 00:15:55,829 --> 00:15:58,462 No. 19 questions left. 373 00:15:58,531 --> 00:16:00,464 (ringtone playing) 374 00:16:05,338 --> 00:16:06,704 Are you gonna get that? 375 00:16:06,806 --> 00:16:08,573 Oh, no. We're in the middle of a game. 376 00:16:10,877 --> 00:16:13,511 18 questions left. 377 00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:16,948 Answer the phone, Sheldon. 378 00:16:17,951 --> 00:16:19,817 Hello, Amy. 379 00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:21,652 Hey, how's it going? 380 00:16:21,721 --> 00:16:24,889 Well, Howard lured your dad away with magic, 381 00:16:24,958 --> 00:16:26,524 so now I'm bonding with your mom. 382 00:16:29,629 --> 00:16:31,696 I think she likes me. 383 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:35,666 I'd like you a lot better 384 00:16:35,735 --> 00:16:37,902 if you weren't keeping my daughter away from me. 385 00:16:37,971 --> 00:16:39,270 Uh, wh-- Hang on, Amy. 386 00:16:39,339 --> 00:16:42,173 What's the problem, Green Beans? 387 00:16:42,242 --> 00:16:45,509 Amy said she couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner 388 00:16:45,578 --> 00:16:47,745 because you always have to spend it with your mother. 389 00:16:47,814 --> 00:16:50,214 I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my mother in years. 390 00:16:51,584 --> 00:16:52,984 Amy, why would you tell your mother 391 00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:54,652 that I spend Thanksgiving with my mother? 392 00:16:54,721 --> 00:16:57,488 Uh, no time to talk about that now. 393 00:16:57,557 --> 00:16:59,423 All your action figures are on fire. 394 00:16:59,492 --> 00:17:01,092 Harrison Ford's in the lobby. Come quick. 395 00:17:04,564 --> 00:17:06,075 And Amy never joins us for Sunday dinners 396 00:17:06,099 --> 00:17:08,199 because you refuse to go out on a school night. 397 00:17:08,268 --> 00:17:10,835 Sh-- I can go out on a school night 398 00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:13,070 as long as I'm in my PJs by 10:00. 399 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:15,573 Sheldon, don't listen to her. 400 00:17:15,642 --> 00:17:16,919 She doesn't know what she's talking about. 401 00:17:16,943 --> 00:17:19,877 She's crazy! 402 00:17:19,946 --> 00:17:21,712 Hello, Amy. 403 00:17:23,683 --> 00:17:24,916 Hello, Mother. 404 00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:31,756 Great news. We-we can come for Thanksgiving this year. 405 00:17:33,192 --> 00:17:35,159 I can't believe it. 406 00:17:35,228 --> 00:17:36,928 All this time I've been angry at you 407 00:17:36,996 --> 00:17:38,436 when I should have been angry at Amy. 408 00:17:38,464 --> 00:17:40,965 Look at that. We're both angry at Amy. 409 00:17:41,034 --> 00:17:43,668 Maybe that's something we could bond over. 410 00:17:44,837 --> 00:17:46,037 Let me ask you this: 411 00:17:46,105 --> 00:17:48,105 how do you feel about Howard? 412 00:17:48,174 --> 00:17:51,809 Oh, is he that odd little friend you have with the haircut? 413 00:17:51,878 --> 00:17:55,079 I may have married the wrong Fowler. 414 00:17:57,617 --> 00:18:01,218 Why would Amy feel the need to lie to me? 415 00:18:01,287 --> 00:18:02,665 Well, perhaps because you're her mother 416 00:18:02,689 --> 00:18:04,169 and she didn't want to disappoint you. 417 00:18:04,223 --> 00:18:06,123 Really? 418 00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:08,192 Even after she threw you under the bus, 419 00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:09,894 you're still gonna defend her. 420 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:11,395 Oh, yes. 421 00:18:11,464 --> 00:18:13,030 She's my wife and I love her. 422 00:18:13,099 --> 00:18:15,311 And if I can forgive her for putting ketchup on her eggs, 423 00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:17,568 I can forgive her for this. 424 00:18:17,637 --> 00:18:21,339 Her father does that, it's disgusting. 425 00:18:21,407 --> 00:18:24,608 Amy's crazy, you are a delight. 426 00:18:33,052 --> 00:18:34,819 Good morning. 427 00:18:34,887 --> 00:18:36,520 Mm. Good morning. 428 00:18:36,589 --> 00:18:37,922 I ordered some coffee for us. 429 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:40,791 Oh, fantastic. 430 00:18:40,860 --> 00:18:42,426 (sighs) 431 00:18:42,495 --> 00:18:44,195 Last night was... 432 00:18:44,263 --> 00:18:45,930 wonderful. 433 00:18:47,700 --> 00:18:49,500 (sighs) But all we did was talk. 434 00:18:49,569 --> 00:18:52,103 Yeah. And it was wonderful. 435 00:18:52,171 --> 00:18:54,305 Am I safe to assume you talking to me now 436 00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:56,374 is a good sign for our marriage? 437 00:18:56,442 --> 00:18:58,743 (chuckles) Yeah, and-and for my liver. 438 00:19:00,546 --> 00:19:02,079 Hey, about the other thing. 439 00:19:02,181 --> 00:19:03,981 Um... 440 00:19:04,050 --> 00:19:06,283 Should we just wait for another night? 441 00:19:07,787 --> 00:19:10,955 Or I go take a shower, 442 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,257 and you decide how you want to play this. 443 00:19:19,232 --> 00:19:21,499 Take a shower with me, Raj. 444 00:19:28,506 --> 00:19:29,972 Thank you, Amy. 445 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:31,852 It's so nice of you to have us over for dinner. 446 00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:36,044 (chuckles) Couldn't think of a single reason not to. 447 00:19:36,113 --> 00:19:38,380 Yeah, and boy, did she try. 448 00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:40,349 Thank you, honey. 449 00:19:40,417 --> 00:19:43,051 Oh, you're welcome, dear. 450 00:19:43,120 --> 00:19:45,654 Would anyone like to see the magic trick Howard taught me? 451 00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:48,190 I'd love to see your trick, Daddy. 452 00:19:51,529 --> 00:19:54,730 A perfectly ordinary table knife. 453 00:19:54,798 --> 00:19:56,265 (exhales) 454 00:19:58,802 --> 00:20:00,936 Watch closely. 455 00:20:01,005 --> 00:20:03,138 Voilà. 456 00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:06,408 Oh, my gosh, that was so good. 457 00:20:12,216 --> 00:20:14,917 Well, look, there's fake blood, too. 458 00:20:16,887 --> 00:20:18,353 I'll be right back. 459 00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:25,685 I don't know about you, but I don't really like magic. 460 00:20:25,754 --> 00:20:29,922 You just keep getting better and better. 461 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:38,665 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man