1 00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:07,334 [♪ Dusty Springfield: Wishin' and Hopin'] 2 00:00:07,334 --> 00:00:09,752 [Samantha] You don't realize until you lose it, 3 00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:13,168 but your memory is everything that you are. 4 00:00:13,168 --> 00:00:15,168 Without it, you're a blank slate, 5 00:00:15,168 --> 00:00:18,668 reborn without points of reference, experiences, 6 00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:20,793 even opinions. 7 00:00:20,793 --> 00:00:25,168 A child looking at the world with new eyes. 8 00:00:25,168 --> 00:00:27,710 - The only problem is... - [horn honking] 9 00:00:27,710 --> 00:00:31,334 - [Regina] Is your room picked up? - ...you're still an adult. 10 00:00:31,334 --> 00:00:34,168 You look nice all dressed up. Where are you going? 11 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:36,209 - Just out with Andrea. - Out where? 12 00:00:36,209 --> 00:00:39,626 - I don't know, she's driving. - Don't ride home with her. 13 00:00:39,626 --> 00:00:42,418 - She's a drunk, call a cab. - OK, sure. 14 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:46,043 Don't hitchhike. People will think you're a hooker dressed like that. 15 00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:48,710 - You said that I looked nice. - Be home by midnight. 16 00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:51,168 - After that, I call the police. - Midnight? 17 00:00:51,168 --> 00:00:53,334 Nobody has to be home by midnight. 18 00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:55,835 You live in this house, you live by our rules. 19 00:00:55,835 --> 00:00:58,168 Well, then maybe I won't live in this house. 20 00:00:58,168 --> 00:01:00,543 - Howard? - Apologize to your mother. 21 00:01:01,918 --> 00:01:03,960 I'm sorry. All right, I'm going to go. 22 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,752 I will return immediately and promise to die if I have any fun. 23 00:01:08,752 --> 00:01:11,084 - [door slams] - What, no kiss? 24 00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:13,168 She's treating me like a child. 25 00:01:13,168 --> 00:01:15,960 She says, as she downs another Shirley Temple. 26 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,752 Oh, but they're so good. 27 00:01:17,752 --> 00:01:20,501 And sweet. And just pretty. 28 00:01:20,501 --> 00:01:22,126 They're like you. 29 00:01:22,126 --> 00:01:24,209 Move along, sweatstains. 30 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,334 [up-tempo music plays] 31 00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,960 Wow. Bam! 32 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,460 I know. Like skeet. Don't worry, I have your back. 33 00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:32,793 Stay close to me tonight. I don't know what I'm supposed to know 34 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:36,168 - and I don't know who I know. - Hold that thought. Hockey player. 35 00:01:36,168 --> 00:01:38,168 [indistinct chattering] 36 00:01:40,293 --> 00:01:42,752 - Sorry about before. - Mmm-hmm. 37 00:01:42,752 --> 00:01:47,002 But I keep looking at you and wondering, do we know each other? 38 00:01:47,002 --> 00:01:50,168 - It's possible. - Yeah? 39 00:01:50,168 --> 00:01:53,835 - Do you come here a lot? - Also possible. 40 00:01:55,251 --> 00:01:59,626 - Lots of possibilities, huh? - Yep. You never know. 41 00:01:59,626 --> 00:02:02,293 - You want to get out of here? - Why? What did I do? 42 00:02:03,752 --> 00:02:07,626 - That's funny. - Oh, yeah, it was. 43 00:02:07,626 --> 00:02:10,752 - Do you want to go back to my place? - Oh, OK. 44 00:02:10,752 --> 00:02:13,543 Only if I can bring my friend though, because it's... 45 00:02:13,543 --> 00:02:17,877 ...it's kind of hard to explain, but I need her to watch me. 46 00:02:17,877 --> 00:02:20,418 It must be my lucky night, huh? 47 00:02:20,418 --> 00:02:22,501 It is if you wore your protective cup. 48 00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,460 [scoffs] 49 00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:32,168 Why did you get rid of him? He said that we knew each other. 50 00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:35,168 - You didn't. That's just a line. - What do you mean? 51 00:02:35,168 --> 00:02:38,043 A line. A pick-up line. You know, to get you in bed. 52 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:40,918 - He wanted to have sex with me? - Oh, come on. 53 00:02:40,918 --> 00:02:43,793 You don't remember what it's like to be picked up? 54 00:02:43,793 --> 00:02:46,793 - I don't remember sex. - What are you talking about? 55 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:51,251 Is that possible? Is it possible that a person cannot remember having sex? 56 00:02:51,251 --> 00:02:53,460 - Oh, trust me. - I'm serious. 57 00:02:53,460 --> 00:02:56,084 I don't remember what it's like, how it feels. 58 00:02:56,084 --> 00:03:00,168 - I don't remember how... - Oh, my God! You poor thing! 59 00:03:00,168 --> 00:03:01,501 You're a virgin! 60 00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:03,168 [chatter stops] 61 00:03:07,084 --> 00:03:09,877 Margarita! 62 00:03:09,877 --> 00:03:12,334 - Virgin margarita, please. - [chatter resumes] 63 00:03:12,334 --> 00:03:15,168 Nothing to see here. Just an alcoholic. 64 00:03:15,168 --> 00:03:16,460 Yeah. 65 00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:25,168 Hey, I'm going to go. 66 00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:28,043 - What are you doing? - We're cleaning out the garage. 67 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:30,334 We saved stuff that was sentimental to you. 68 00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,668 Now that you forgot why we can throw it out. 69 00:03:32,668 --> 00:03:34,918 - Oh, that's a great idea. - Yeah. 70 00:03:34,918 --> 00:03:38,251 Speaking of that can I talk to you about something kind of personal? 71 00:03:38,251 --> 00:03:41,002 - I knew this was going to come up. - You did? 72 00:03:41,002 --> 00:03:44,168 Yes, honey, and don't worry. You're not dying. 73 00:03:44,168 --> 00:03:46,710 This happens to every woman once a month. 74 00:03:46,710 --> 00:03:48,168 No, that's not it. 75 00:03:48,168 --> 00:03:50,168 - It's about having sex. - [rings bell] 76 00:03:50,168 --> 00:03:52,710 Oh, good. The cookies are done. 77 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:56,002 It's not something we discuss, I take it? 78 00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:59,418 Well, it's just that you never brought it up before. 79 00:03:59,418 --> 00:04:03,002 Your father and I agreed that if you ever did bring it up 80 00:04:03,002 --> 00:04:06,793 that we would call it something else like the "happy touch." 81 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:11,793 OK, last night I realized that the next time I do the "happy touch" 82 00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:14,209 will be the first time I do the "happy touch." 83 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:17,084 No need to rush into it. The first time isn't that nice. 84 00:04:17,084 --> 00:04:19,668 - First time for what? - The "happy touch." 85 00:04:19,668 --> 00:04:22,168 Oh, the "special hug." Your first time was nice. 86 00:04:22,168 --> 00:04:24,168 Your first time was great. 87 00:04:24,168 --> 00:04:26,918 Well, how do you know? You weren't even there. 88 00:04:29,376 --> 00:04:33,251 Well, of course I was there. You were my first time and I was yours. 89 00:04:33,251 --> 00:04:36,168 Of course you were, honey. 90 00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:39,084 Right after Bob McNally. 91 00:04:39,084 --> 00:04:42,668 You mean that spindly guy from the shoe store? What are you saying? 92 00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:44,168 Great talk. I got to go. 93 00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:48,460 [Howard] The man handled the feet of strangers! 94 00:04:51,543 --> 00:04:55,293 So what do you not know? What to do or where things go? 95 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:58,793 No, I know where they go. I just don't... 96 00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:01,960 I don't remember them... 97 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,626 ...you know, going there. 98 00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:08,418 You know, like, I don't know how it feels. I just... 99 00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:10,168 I don't remember what it's like. 100 00:05:10,168 --> 00:05:13,168 What it's like? It's like... 101 00:05:13,168 --> 00:05:16,543 It's like... It's like, you know, it's like sex. 102 00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:18,002 It really is. 103 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:20,501 - You can't describe it. - [Samantha] Well, just try, OK? 104 00:05:20,501 --> 00:05:23,835 Sometimes people describe food like it tastes like chicken. 105 00:05:23,835 --> 00:05:26,543 I will tell you this: It tastes nothing like chicken. 106 00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:29,501 - Most of the time. - Look, you just need to go out 107 00:05:29,501 --> 00:05:32,168 and experience it. You need to go out and do it. 108 00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:34,918 What's the hurry? She should wait for the right guy. 109 00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:38,793 Better idea. Why don't you go wait for him and call us when he gets here? 110 00:05:38,793 --> 00:05:41,960 No, she's right. She's right. Why do I have to rush into this? 111 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:43,168 Because it's weird. 112 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:46,418 You are a grown woman who doesn't know anything about sex. 113 00:05:46,418 --> 00:05:49,668 No wonder your mother treats you like a child. You are a child. 114 00:05:49,668 --> 00:05:53,084 Childhood is nice. You get to order off the children's menu. 115 00:05:53,084 --> 00:05:56,168 - They have grilled cheese. - You are making a big deal about it. 116 00:05:56,168 --> 00:05:59,084 This is not some sort of infirmity, OK? 117 00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:01,168 It's not like I lost the ability to walk. 118 00:06:01,168 --> 00:06:05,168 Wait'll you have good sex. Look, you are an adult human woman. 119 00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:08,168 So much of who you are is tied up in sex. 120 00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,918 Maybe if you go and you have it for the first time, 121 00:06:10,918 --> 00:06:14,376 maybe all of your memories will just come rushing back? 122 00:06:14,376 --> 00:06:18,043 That or she'll wake up with cotton candy stuck to her back 123 00:06:18,043 --> 00:06:20,209 and a long walk home. 124 00:06:21,793 --> 00:06:26,168 - Can I have the sugar? - I don't want to talk about it anymore. 125 00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,877 I have plenty of time to re-experience things, 126 00:06:28,877 --> 00:06:32,002 and I will get to sex when I get to it. 127 00:06:32,002 --> 00:06:34,710 [engine revving] 128 00:06:34,710 --> 00:06:38,918 And if it's soon, that's cool too. 129 00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:44,168 [sharpener buzzing] 130 00:06:47,376 --> 00:06:48,710 Um... [clears throat] 131 00:06:48,710 --> 00:06:53,710 Todd, could you... Could you just stop doing that? 132 00:06:53,710 --> 00:06:56,168 Sorry, my mind was on something else. 133 00:06:56,168 --> 00:06:59,626 Yeah. Me too. 134 00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:02,501 I'll get out of here, I just want to get enough clothes 135 00:07:02,501 --> 00:07:06,877 so I don't have to keep coming back. And we've had sex before, haven't we? 136 00:07:06,877 --> 00:07:08,793 - I'm sorry, what? - Sex? 137 00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:13,168 Well, yeah. You know, I mean, we were together for three years. 138 00:07:13,168 --> 00:07:18,002 I know we have. Of course we have. It's just... Um... 139 00:07:19,168 --> 00:07:20,585 - What? - Can't remember it. 140 00:07:20,585 --> 00:07:22,501 - Oh, well, that's flattering. - No! 141 00:07:22,501 --> 00:07:25,793 Don't take it personally, I don't remember french fries. 142 00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:29,710 - So... - I don't know... Was it... 143 00:07:31,043 --> 00:07:33,585 - What? - Was it good? 144 00:07:33,585 --> 00:07:34,835 Oh! 145 00:07:36,168 --> 00:07:38,168 - Yeah. - Yeah? 146 00:07:39,293 --> 00:07:42,209 - Very. - Really? 147 00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:46,209 - I know. - Hmm. 148 00:07:46,209 --> 00:07:48,418 - OK, then. - You good? 149 00:07:48,418 --> 00:07:52,960 Yeah! Good! I'm good. I can't wait to try french fries. 150 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,334 [laughs loudly, moans] 151 00:07:57,793 --> 00:07:59,793 Yeah, yeah. We get it. 152 00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:03,960 And how are you today? 153 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,501 How am I? I'm a virgin, that's how I am. 154 00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:10,168 Yes, ma'am. And I'm a pirate. Should I call you a cab? 155 00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,752 All right. You win. I'm horny. 156 00:08:15,752 --> 00:08:19,460 You're calling me at 4:00 in the morning. You need to relax. 157 00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,835 - I was relaxed. Now I'm horny. - [door opening] 158 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,918 I cannot sleep in the same bed with your father, he is making me crazy 159 00:08:26,918 --> 00:08:29,209 with this Bob McNally business. 160 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,877 Just go to sleep, will you? 161 00:08:30,877 --> 00:08:34,877 - Just stop thinking about sex. - I can't not think about it. 162 00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:37,376 The more I try not to, the more I can't stop. 163 00:08:37,376 --> 00:08:39,334 - It's like I'm 16 again. - Seventeen. 164 00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:42,334 - What? - You were 17 the first time. 165 00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:45,251 I'd appreciate you not discussing this in front of me. 166 00:08:45,251 --> 00:08:48,501 You're in my bed... Wait a minute. How do you know when? 167 00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:50,209 I'm sure we didn't talk about it. 168 00:08:50,209 --> 00:08:54,002 If you didn't want me to read your diary, you wouldn't have left it out. 169 00:08:54,002 --> 00:08:56,002 I didn't tell your father. 170 00:08:56,002 --> 00:09:00,168 - [Howard] You never told me a lot! - Howard, knock it off! 171 00:09:00,168 --> 00:09:04,209 - What is going on over there? - Nothing. My mother's in my bed. 172 00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:06,501 And you wonder why you have issues. 173 00:09:06,501 --> 00:09:10,209 OK, look, just come out with me tomorrow night, don't think about it, 174 00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:14,126 it'll all come back to you. Trust me, it's just like riding a bike. 175 00:09:24,710 --> 00:09:26,334 Oh... Oh! 176 00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:33,793 [♪ Poe: Not a Virgin] 177 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:36,793 Oh, look it's closed. We got to go. 178 00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:39,793 Oh, no. You want this to happen or you wouldn't have come. 179 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,960 No, this is an absolute mistake. I don't know what I'm doing. 180 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,668 What guy wants some clueless bimbo 181 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,209 who doesn't know right from wrong in the bedroom? 182 00:09:48,209 --> 00:09:51,418 - You have so much to learn. - You know what I have to learn? 183 00:09:51,418 --> 00:09:53,168 I don't even know how to kiss. 184 00:09:53,168 --> 00:09:57,043 - I don't even know if I'm good at it. - You are. 185 00:09:57,043 --> 00:09:59,084 And you know this because... 186 00:09:59,084 --> 00:10:02,710 We were at a party, they offered us $300. What are you going to do? Let's go. 187 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,460 ♪ I'm not a virgin anymore ♪ 188 00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:08,710 OK, now this position we're in here, facing the bar, this position means 189 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:12,043 - we want to talk and be left alone. - This one. I like this one. 190 00:10:12,043 --> 00:10:16,168 No, you don't. Now, when we're ready to be approached, you throw on a smile. 191 00:10:16,168 --> 00:10:18,418 Let me see a smile. 192 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,168 We'll work on that. 193 00:10:20,168 --> 00:10:24,626 OK and then we just rotate outward like queens, and receive our subjects. 194 00:10:24,626 --> 00:10:29,501 Ready? On three. One, two, three. 195 00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:36,251 You're being a dork. I don't hang out with dorks, so cut it out. 196 00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:40,168 It is one thing to talk about it, but someone here is going to see me naked. 197 00:10:40,168 --> 00:10:42,376 I don't know what the lighting is going to be like. 198 00:10:42,376 --> 00:10:46,043 There is good lighting in Todd's closet in his apartment. 199 00:10:46,043 --> 00:10:49,293 I don't know what it is, but there's a mirror and when I look in it 200 00:10:49,293 --> 00:10:53,543 I am like off the chain. Is that an expression? I want to go home. 201 00:10:53,543 --> 00:10:56,793 Listen to me. Listen to me, you are ready for this. 202 00:10:56,793 --> 00:11:00,168 You look fabulous, the pond is deep, the fish are biting. 203 00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:03,626 - Well, hello! - And then a boat motors through. 204 00:11:03,626 --> 00:11:06,293 Oh, this is a coincidence. This is weird! 205 00:11:06,293 --> 00:11:10,209 Isn't this fun? Just all of us here. Just girls' night out. Right? 206 00:11:10,209 --> 00:11:12,585 No boys allowed! 207 00:11:12,585 --> 00:11:15,918 - Let's get you a drink. - You can't get her off the barstool? 208 00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,168 She's too scared, she forgot how to kiss. 209 00:11:18,168 --> 00:11:21,293 Oh, well do you want to practice? I mean we always used to. 210 00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:23,877 - Us too? - Well, yeah... We were ten. 211 00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:25,710 Maybe 11, 13 at the oldest. 212 00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:29,793 I am not a lesbian. You know, I think sexuality is a continuum. 213 00:11:29,793 --> 00:11:33,168 You're gonna be fine. I am here, OK? 214 00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:34,877 Now let's go. 215 00:11:34,877 --> 00:11:38,501 One, two, three. 216 00:11:38,501 --> 00:11:42,752 Oh, there you are! Isn't this fun? 217 00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:45,501 - What are you drinking? - What are you doing here? 218 00:11:45,501 --> 00:11:50,209 Honey, I felt really bad about yesterday morning and how our sex talk went. 219 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,209 I don't want you to think I'm one of those uptight mothers. 220 00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:57,835 I want to be supportive. So come on, let's get my little girl laid. 221 00:11:57,835 --> 00:12:00,043 - OK! - This is bad, right? 222 00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:03,293 You think? I'm out with a dork, her mother, and her stalker. 223 00:12:03,293 --> 00:12:07,209 Looks like a special needs field trip. Pick, so I can show my face here again. 224 00:12:07,209 --> 00:12:09,460 OK, I think I found him. 225 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,793 His name is Jason, he's turning 21 tonight. 226 00:12:11,793 --> 00:12:14,793 Everything you need in a lover: Ignorance and gratitude. 227 00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:17,168 She's my daughter, I know what she wants. 228 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:19,752 How about that man over there? Isn't he cute? 229 00:12:19,752 --> 00:12:22,168 - He looks like Dad. - Doesn't he? 230 00:12:22,168 --> 00:12:26,209 As her best friend, I'm more qualified to pick a man for her than you are. 231 00:12:26,209 --> 00:12:28,168 I forgot you've had them all. 232 00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:30,126 That one should be your first. 233 00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:33,168 Do you want me to ask that man if he wants to have safe sex. 234 00:12:33,168 --> 00:12:36,209 OK, OK! Enough, enough, enough, enough, enough! Fine! 235 00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,376 If it is so important to you, I'll do this. 236 00:12:38,376 --> 00:12:41,543 If it will make you, and the TVs, and the magazines, 237 00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,168 and that big pornographic cloud this morning, 238 00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:46,043 just shut up and leave me alone! 239 00:12:46,043 --> 00:12:48,334 All right, all right, who's it going to be? 240 00:12:48,334 --> 00:12:52,334 Hey, you! You. How about you? You there. Come on, let's do this thing. 241 00:12:52,334 --> 00:12:57,460 - Oh, Jason. - Jason it is. Happy birthday, Jason! 242 00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:07,877 Don't wait up. 243 00:13:15,209 --> 00:13:17,585 [hands slapping] 244 00:13:19,501 --> 00:13:22,043 So, that kissing thing. 245 00:13:22,043 --> 00:13:23,334 Yeah, me too. 246 00:13:23,334 --> 00:13:25,168 - OK. - We should do that. 247 00:13:25,168 --> 00:13:27,918 - [clears throat] OK. - All right. 248 00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:30,501 [guitar riff plays loudly] 249 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:33,668 Dave, I told you no Guitar Hero tonight! 250 00:13:33,668 --> 00:13:38,168 I will come back there and I will kick your ass! 251 00:13:38,168 --> 00:13:41,168 - Roommate. - Yeah, you think he might come out? 252 00:13:41,168 --> 00:13:45,043 Oh, he hasn't been out in like a year. Dave's always totally wasted. 253 00:13:45,043 --> 00:13:47,251 "Dude, get a job" and he's like, "Dude..." 254 00:13:47,251 --> 00:13:48,543 Shh... 255 00:13:48,543 --> 00:13:51,168 Sorry. Just a little nervous, you know? 256 00:13:51,168 --> 00:13:53,626 Don't. No! No, don't be. 257 00:13:53,626 --> 00:13:57,209 Because you know what? This is no big deal. 258 00:13:57,209 --> 00:13:59,002 Because this is natural. 259 00:13:59,002 --> 00:14:03,126 This is two adults just doing the deed. 260 00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:04,251 You know, just... 261 00:14:04,251 --> 00:14:07,168 Bing, bang, boom. OK? 262 00:14:07,168 --> 00:14:11,168 Yeah, see that's how I knew you were the right one tonight 263 00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:14,043 because I just want my first time to be great. 264 00:14:14,043 --> 00:14:16,168 Huh? 265 00:14:16,168 --> 00:14:21,960 Oh... Damn it! God, stupid! Stupid! Stupid! 266 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,752 - You're a virgin? - Oh, yeah. Don't be mad. 267 00:14:25,752 --> 00:14:28,960 It was my friends' idea to take me out tonight to get me laid. 268 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:32,710 Sorry. I'm being pressured into having sex. 269 00:14:32,710 --> 00:14:36,710 - God, how lame is that? - That's so lame. 270 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,460 Yeah... 271 00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:42,501 Want me to play the drums? Girls like that. 272 00:14:42,501 --> 00:14:47,168 No, Jason. Look, I'm sorry. I really don't think that I should be your first. 273 00:14:47,168 --> 00:14:49,043 Oh, why not? Because you're old? 274 00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:55,168 No. Because, you know, you're a nice guy, 275 00:14:55,168 --> 00:14:58,543 and I think that your first should not be with a stranger. 276 00:14:58,543 --> 00:15:03,209 It should be with someone who you, I don't know, who you connect with. 277 00:15:03,209 --> 00:15:06,835 Who you have some sort of history, you know? Just someone who you... 278 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:11,168 Someone who cares about you. 279 00:15:11,168 --> 00:15:13,418 Oh, man. 280 00:15:13,418 --> 00:15:16,168 Wait, let's do it in the hall. 281 00:15:16,168 --> 00:15:19,793 I like it when the old lady next door glares at me in the morning. 282 00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:24,209 No, I don't think so. Listen, Sam, I like you... 283 00:15:24,209 --> 00:15:25,668 You don't have to say that. 284 00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:28,626 The deal was sealed when I stuffed my underwear in your pocket. 285 00:15:28,626 --> 00:15:30,752 No, I mean I like you a lot. 286 00:15:30,752 --> 00:15:33,626 - OK, well, let's do it a lot. - No, I'm being serious. 287 00:15:33,626 --> 00:15:39,002 Oh, right. I'm sorry. I'll put on my serious face. 288 00:15:40,918 --> 00:15:44,293 Look, my mistake, I know, but I guess I care about you. 289 00:15:44,293 --> 00:15:47,877 Sue me. If we do this, I'm going to care about you even more, 290 00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:52,084 and if you don't feel the same, that's fine, but then let's not. 291 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:55,585 Oh, wow. You are such a girl. 292 00:15:55,585 --> 00:15:58,168 And you're a pain in the ass. 293 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,543 - OK. - Yeah? 294 00:16:02,543 --> 00:16:04,543 - Yeah. - OK. 295 00:16:04,543 --> 00:16:05,752 OK. 296 00:16:07,918 --> 00:16:09,710 - And you know that speech? - Yeah? 297 00:16:09,710 --> 00:16:12,585 That better not be the longest thing that you do tonight. 298 00:16:14,126 --> 00:16:17,251 - Ah... - Hey. Are you OK? 299 00:16:17,251 --> 00:16:20,209 Did you have a stroke? My grandma did that and it was... 300 00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:23,752 No. No, look, I have to go. All right? 301 00:16:23,752 --> 00:16:27,168 Don't hurry, OK? 302 00:16:27,168 --> 00:16:30,168 The right person... Just wait for that right person. 303 00:16:30,168 --> 00:16:32,168 - He is out there. - He? 304 00:16:32,168 --> 00:16:35,793 You know, she. Whatever, 'cause I don't judge. 305 00:16:38,168 --> 00:16:39,752 [knock on door] 306 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:44,501 Hey, can I talk to you for just a second? 307 00:16:44,501 --> 00:16:49,209 Um... I just wanted to say that you and I have known each other for a long time 308 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:52,334 and, you know, we can't just forget those years, right? 309 00:16:52,334 --> 00:16:55,376 I mean, I can. And I already have. 310 00:16:55,376 --> 00:16:58,334 But I hear that they were good, maybe not all of them, 311 00:16:58,334 --> 00:17:00,293 but I know that it started out well. 312 00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:03,668 And how often do you connect with people on that level? 313 00:17:03,668 --> 00:17:08,168 Well, you know, you've got that closet with the lighting and the mirror and 314 00:17:08,168 --> 00:17:11,168 - so I was just wondering if... - Todd? Who is it? 315 00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:14,002 Oh, just Sam. 316 00:17:15,543 --> 00:17:18,334 - Hi. - Hi. 317 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:20,877 ♪ I'm not a virgin anymore ♪ 318 00:17:22,752 --> 00:17:25,710 - What's going on? - This is Julia. 319 00:17:28,626 --> 00:17:31,793 - I'm going to go start the movie. - Yeah, you do that. 320 00:17:31,793 --> 00:17:34,418 Yeah, I'll be there in a second. 321 00:17:34,418 --> 00:17:36,376 - What is going on with you? - Nothing. 322 00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:38,710 Nothing. I just came by to say hi, that's all. 323 00:17:38,710 --> 00:17:41,376 - Can't I come by and say hi? - Sure. Hi. 324 00:17:41,376 --> 00:17:45,251 So, she seems nice. She's very pretty. 325 00:17:45,251 --> 00:17:47,585 - Thanks. - I didn't say you. I said she was. 326 00:17:47,585 --> 00:17:50,626 - Have you been drinking? - Have you? 327 00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:53,376 - I'm not acting strange. - I'm not the one with a girl. 328 00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:55,126 I'm not supposed to see other people? 329 00:17:55,126 --> 00:17:58,376 Why would I care if you saw people? 330 00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:01,877 I don't have feelings for you. I mean, don't you understand that? 331 00:18:03,501 --> 00:18:06,543 - Well, you're acting very jealous. - Jealous? 332 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:11,251 Um... How is it possible to be jealous of someone you can't remember? 333 00:18:11,251 --> 00:18:14,793 Huh? Hmm? Answer? It's not. 334 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:16,960 - I've really got to go. - Yeah, so do I. 335 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:20,585 It's almost midnight. And that's my curfew. 336 00:18:23,084 --> 00:18:26,251 - Bye, Michelle. - It's... Julia. 337 00:18:26,251 --> 00:18:27,710 Whatever. 338 00:18:36,585 --> 00:18:39,960 - Ms. Newly. - Hey, Frank. 339 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,626 Guess what? I'm not a virgin anymore. 340 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,626 And apparently not a cuddler. 341 00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:58,334 Oh. Hi. I'll sleep downstairs. 342 00:18:58,334 --> 00:19:01,293 Nonsense. Come on. 343 00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:03,585 Come on. 344 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,002 I shouldn't have gone to that place tonight. 345 00:19:18,585 --> 00:19:24,209 I guess I just wanted us to be better at talking about things this time around. 346 00:19:24,209 --> 00:19:27,334 Thanks. 347 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,543 Me, too. 348 00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:33,293 Just don't ever come there again. 349 00:19:42,126 --> 00:19:44,752 What happened with that boy? 350 00:19:44,752 --> 00:19:47,585 - Nothing. - Oh, I'm sorry. 351 00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:52,585 No, I'm not. I'm not sorry at all, I'm glad. 352 00:19:52,585 --> 00:19:55,877 Like it or not, you'll always be my little girl. 353 00:19:57,585 --> 00:20:01,460 And the truth is I want you to save yourself for someone special. 354 00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:04,752 [Howard] Or just throw yourself at a shoe salesman! 355 00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:08,585 Howard, shut up! I only did it with Bob McNally in the first place 356 00:20:08,585 --> 00:20:11,960 because I didn't want to act like an idiot when I met the man I love! 357 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,626 You know, Dad, if it means anything, 358 00:20:14,626 --> 00:20:17,668 she did try to hook me up with a guy who looks like you. 359 00:20:20,626 --> 00:20:22,877 Is that true? 360 00:20:22,877 --> 00:20:26,585 [♪ Dusty Springfield: Wishin' and Hopin'] 361 00:20:29,585 --> 00:20:31,668 [Regina] Howard. 362 00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:34,585 [Howard] Come on, baby, let me measure your feet. 363 00:20:34,585 --> 00:20:37,168 [Samantha] At least someone's doing it around here. 364 00:20:37,168 --> 00:20:39,251 And hey, I did remember what it was like. 365 00:20:39,251 --> 00:20:41,126 It was like... um... 366 00:20:41,126 --> 00:20:44,918 Well, it definitely was not like chicken. 367 00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:49,084 And I will probably do it again when the right guy comes around. 368 00:20:50,168 --> 00:20:52,251 And now I know that they do. 369 00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:57,251 [Regina laughs, shrieks] 370 00:20:57,251 --> 00:21:01,668 ♪ All you gotta do is hold him and kiss him and squeeze him ♪ 371 00:21:01,668 --> 00:21:03,585 When it does happen, though... 372 00:21:05,418 --> 00:21:09,002 I will definitely be ready. 373 00:21:11,293 --> 00:21:14,043 ♪ You will be his ♪ 374 00:21:15,835 --> 00:21:21,376 ♪ You will be his ♪♪