1
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:06,835
SAM: There comes a time in everyone's
life when they have to leave the nest.
2
00:00:06,835 --> 00:00:08,543
Me, I've had two times.
3
00:00:08,543 --> 00:00:11,710
Because after a year of recovering
from amnesia at my parents' house,
4
00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:14,334
I was ready to either
spread my wings and fly
5
00:00:15,835 --> 00:00:19,084
or fall to the ground
and get swallowed by a snake.
6
00:00:19,084 --> 00:00:20,543
Okay, Mom. Mom.
7
00:00:20,543 --> 00:00:22,002
Dad? Dad, can you--?
8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,626
Regina.
9
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,501
Release.
10
00:00:28,501 --> 00:00:30,251
Okay.
11
00:00:33,626 --> 00:00:36,251
Frank, make sure she uses condoms.
12
00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:40,752
Okay.
13
00:00:43,668 --> 00:00:46,918
Oh, my God, Frank.
I'm home. I have my own place.
14
00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:49,334
Can you believe it?
I can do whatever I want.
15
00:00:49,334 --> 00:00:52,126
I can sing, I can run around naked.
16
00:00:52,126 --> 00:00:55,793
You can learn to tip,
as long as you're making a list.
17
00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:57,960
[GABRIELLA CILMI'S
"SAVE THE LIES" PLAYING]
18
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,960
[SINGING]
19
00:01:18,002 --> 00:01:20,002
[HUMMING]
20
00:01:21,293 --> 00:01:24,043
- I love this song. Aah!
- Aah!
21
00:01:26,251 --> 00:01:27,835
Todd.
22
00:01:27,835 --> 00:01:30,960
I thought when we talked on the phone
you said you were moving out.
23
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,835
I was. I am. I'm on my way
to look at a few places right now.
24
00:01:33,835 --> 00:01:35,835
Really?
Are you sure you're not just stalling
25
00:01:35,835 --> 00:01:37,877
because you think
I'm gonna change my mind?
26
00:01:37,877 --> 00:01:40,376
Because you know what,
if that's the case, I just--
27
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:44,043
I feel it's gonna be really weird
for both of us, you know?
28
00:01:45,043 --> 00:01:46,877
Huh? Oh.
29
00:01:46,877 --> 00:01:48,002
Apartments.
30
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,626
Bay windows. That sounds nice.
31
00:01:51,626 --> 00:01:53,002
Yeah.
32
00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:56,002
Hello?
33
00:01:56,002 --> 00:01:58,002
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
34
00:01:59,376 --> 00:02:01,793
Mom? Dad?
35
00:02:01,793 --> 00:02:03,960
Hello.
36
00:02:05,585 --> 00:02:08,460
- Oh.
- Sweetheart, you're home.
37
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:12,293
- Hey, you look kind of thin.
- She's been gone six hours.
38
00:02:12,293 --> 00:02:14,585
I have to do laundry.
Plus, I need to take your spatula
39
00:02:14,585 --> 00:02:17,626
because Todd used mine
to clean hair out of the drain.
40
00:02:17,626 --> 00:02:20,251
- What are you guys doing?
- We're practicing for the contest
41
00:02:20,251 --> 00:02:21,918
at the Walnut Valley Club next week.
42
00:02:23,251 --> 00:02:25,376
[SAMANTHA LAUGHING]
43
00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:27,084
How old are you guys there?
44
00:02:27,084 --> 00:02:29,168
You look so dorky.
45
00:02:29,168 --> 00:02:30,585
- That was last year.
- Oh.
46
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,168
We're using this as a training film.
47
00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:34,334
Look, watch, Howard.
48
00:02:34,668 --> 00:02:37,168
There, right there. See?
Our footwork is really sloppy.
49
00:02:37,168 --> 00:02:38,418
HOWARD:
I think we look pretty good.
50
00:02:38,418 --> 00:02:40,334
Pretty good's not enough
to beat Paula Drake.
51
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,084
Oh, I see what this is about.
52
00:02:42,084 --> 00:02:44,501
Your little rivalry with Paula Drake.
53
00:02:44,501 --> 00:02:46,418
Yes, it is. Her and her smug little grin.
54
00:02:46,418 --> 00:02:48,168
She beats me at everything.
55
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:51,293
This and best tulips,
and best chili cook-off.
56
00:02:51,293 --> 00:02:53,918
Oh, and that daughter of hers,
she's a doctor,
57
00:02:53,918 --> 00:02:56,501
she's married, she has two children.
58
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,168
You know, and you're single
and you're unemployed,
59
00:02:59,168 --> 00:03:02,501
and after your coma,
you had to re-learn how to peel an orange.
60
00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:04,418
Hey, I got that in one day.
61
00:03:04,877 --> 00:03:08,334
We've gotta practice that grapevine
or we're never gonna get first place.
62
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:11,126
Third place is a screwdriver set.
That's something we could use.
63
00:03:11,126 --> 00:03:12,626
Hey. Hey, what's this?
64
00:03:17,418 --> 00:03:19,293
It's one of your college recitals.
65
00:03:19,293 --> 00:03:22,002
I was in a recital and you taped over it?
66
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:25,251
How was I supposed to know
you wanted to see that again?
67
00:03:25,251 --> 00:03:28,043
What am I supposed to think
every time I wanna tape an Oprah, that,
68
00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:30,543
"Oh, Sam might get amnesia.
69
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,043
She might wanna see
that first birthday party"?
70
00:03:35,251 --> 00:03:36,334
I used to dance.
71
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,793
You know, I don't wanna sound conceited
or anything,
72
00:03:40,084 --> 00:03:41,835
but I'm pretty badass.
73
00:03:41,835 --> 00:03:44,626
HOWARD: Hey, you were incredible.
REGINA: Yeah, you take that from me.
74
00:03:44,626 --> 00:03:47,293
- Feel that thigh.
- Yeah, hard as a rock. Feel it.
75
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,835
Later. Why didn't you tell me?
76
00:03:49,835 --> 00:03:52,209
I mean, you point out
every lousy thing about my life,
77
00:03:52,209 --> 00:03:55,460
but the one talent that I do have,
nobody mentions it?
78
00:03:55,460 --> 00:03:57,668
We didn't want you to get a big head.
79
00:03:58,002 --> 00:04:00,918
I wanna see it again. I wanna see it again.
Come on. Come on.
80
00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:10,002
Shouldn't you be hunting
for apartments?
81
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:12,251
I set a few traps.
I'll check them tomorrow.
82
00:04:13,043 --> 00:04:16,084
I know your game. You have no intention
of looking for an apartment.
83
00:04:16,084 --> 00:04:18,334
You're just gonna keep
mooching off Sam.
84
00:04:18,334 --> 00:04:20,168
I was looking, okay?
85
00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:22,418
I thought I had money
coming from this wedding I shot,
86
00:04:22,418 --> 00:04:25,002
but the bride, you know,
she didn't like the proofs.
87
00:04:25,002 --> 00:04:28,084
She's just not going to pay? And you're
gonna let her get away with that?
88
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:30,376
I left messages, e-mail.
I don't know what else to do.
89
00:04:30,376 --> 00:04:32,293
I'm an attorney.
Come to my office tomorrow
90
00:04:32,293 --> 00:04:34,334
and I'll show you what else you can do.
91
00:04:34,334 --> 00:04:37,543
I just told you.
I don't have money for a lawyer.
92
00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:38,668
Are you slow?
93
00:04:38,668 --> 00:04:42,168
Look, I get to bring a bride to tears
and kick you out of Sam's apartment?
94
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:43,376
I should be paying you.
95
00:04:47,376 --> 00:04:49,835
You know what, we should
switch things out before we go.
96
00:04:49,835 --> 00:04:53,418
That paper-towel holder
goes home with me,
97
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:56,668
the spatula goes back
to the city with you.
98
00:04:56,668 --> 00:04:58,002
Look at you.
99
00:04:58,002 --> 00:04:59,835
You're all grown up.
100
00:04:59,835 --> 00:05:01,334
You got your own spatula.
101
00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:03,626
I did a good job.
102
00:05:03,626 --> 00:05:06,084
- Oh, crap!
- What, what, what?
103
00:05:06,084 --> 00:05:07,418
Paula Drake.
104
00:05:07,418 --> 00:05:09,543
I should never leave the house
without a bra.
105
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:12,126
I don't think we need Paula Drake
to make that a rule, Mom.
106
00:05:12,126 --> 00:05:14,501
- What are you doing?
- Putting on lipstick.
107
00:05:14,501 --> 00:05:16,168
She's my nemesis.
108
00:05:16,168 --> 00:05:17,668
She's your nemesis?
109
00:05:17,668 --> 00:05:19,543
What is she?
Does she have an underground lair?
110
00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:21,877
Regina.
111
00:05:21,877 --> 00:05:24,752
- Hi.
- I thought that was you.
112
00:05:24,752 --> 00:05:27,543
What are you doing here?
Buying a bra, I hope.
113
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,084
Hi, Paula.
114
00:05:29,084 --> 00:05:30,293
Samantha.
115
00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:31,960
Hello.
116
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:34,835
How is your head injury doing today?
117
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:39,251
I'm not brain-damaged.
I have my own spatula.
118
00:05:40,084 --> 00:05:43,877
Oh, Regina, did I see that you signed up
for the dance at the club again?
119
00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:46,043
Yes, you did. Yes, you did.
120
00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:47,835
In fact, I think Howard and I
121
00:05:47,835 --> 00:05:50,376
are gonna give you and Charlie
a run for your money this year.
122
00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,002
Of course you will.
123
00:05:52,002 --> 00:05:54,835
Like I said at the
Chandlers' anniversary party--
124
00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:57,501
Oh, faux pas. Were you not invited?
125
00:05:58,002 --> 00:05:59,543
Anyway, I told everyone
126
00:05:59,543 --> 00:06:01,710
that no matter how many times
the Newlys lose,
127
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:03,168
they just keep on going.
128
00:06:03,168 --> 00:06:05,501
They may be failures,
but they are not quitters.
129
00:06:05,501 --> 00:06:07,918
Hey, they're not failures either.
130
00:06:07,918 --> 00:06:09,043
Of course they're not.
131
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:12,043
Will you have a special seat
to watch your parents lose?
132
00:06:12,626 --> 00:06:14,752
She won't be there.
She's moved back to the city.
133
00:06:14,752 --> 00:06:17,376
No, I'll be there.
Because we're going to kick your butts.
134
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:20,209
- We?
- Yep, that's right. I am your new partner.
135
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:22,126
And I am excellent.
136
00:06:22,126 --> 00:06:24,334
Two women can't dance together
at the club.
137
00:06:24,334 --> 00:06:26,293
Oh, yes, they can,
138
00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:29,460
thanks to those two nice gay lawyers
who just moved down the block.
139
00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:31,043
It's a whole new world.
140
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:34,002
Yeah, well, we made them cry,
and we'll make you cry too.
141
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:37,168
You wanna see some crying?
We're gonna bring you to your knees.
142
00:06:37,168 --> 00:06:40,543
And not in some cool dance-move way.
Ahh...
143
00:06:40,543 --> 00:06:42,293
- What just happened?
- I don't know.
144
00:06:42,293 --> 00:06:44,793
But I got that same high I got
when I peeled that orange.
145
00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:45,835
[LAUGHING]
146
00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:57,209
I don't know how it came out of me.
147
00:06:57,209 --> 00:07:00,668
It's just that this Paula Drake woman
was attacking my family
148
00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:03,002
and all of a sudden
I just became, like, a mother cat.
149
00:07:03,002 --> 00:07:04,710
And my mom was my kitten
150
00:07:04,710 --> 00:07:07,209
and she was being swallowed
by a python or something.
151
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:09,668
- Oh, pythons gotta eat.
- What?
152
00:07:09,668 --> 00:07:12,043
Not a kitten person.
Surprising, I know, but--
153
00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:15,918
Excuse me, dance competition?
Why didn't you tell me about this?
154
00:07:15,918 --> 00:07:19,126
- Oh, because I usually just--
- We're in. I have magic legs.
155
00:07:19,126 --> 00:07:22,209
- Ha.
- No, we're not-- We're not dancing.
156
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,835
What do you mean we're not--?
We can win.
157
00:07:24,835 --> 00:07:26,418
- You are going down, Newly.
- No.
158
00:07:26,418 --> 00:07:28,251
We can dance any other night
of the year.
159
00:07:28,251 --> 00:07:32,043
But the Walnut Valley Dance Competition
is the one night I get to be on tech crew.
160
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:37,460
If it makes you feel any better, though,
my mom and I are kind of a lock to win.
161
00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:40,710
- So two women dancing.
- Mm-hm.
162
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,835
- You're thinking where the boobs go?
- Anyone would.
163
00:07:44,835 --> 00:07:47,752
So how's your dad, you know,
with you stepping in?
164
00:07:47,752 --> 00:07:50,043
I don't know, she's telling him right now.
165
00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:53,376
God, I feel so bad, though, because
he looks forward to this every year.
166
00:07:53,376 --> 00:07:56,668
Thank you, gay-lawyer couple!
167
00:07:56,668 --> 00:08:00,334
Have fun with Sam.
I'm off to the boat show.
168
00:08:00,334 --> 00:08:01,543
[LAUGHING]
169
00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:03,209
Whoo!
170
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:08,251
We're thinking about doing a cha-cha,
but we haven't figured it out yet.
171
00:08:08,251 --> 00:08:10,460
We're gonna get
these little matching gold dresses.
172
00:08:10,460 --> 00:08:13,960
Oh, God, it's going to feel so good
to take this Paula Drake down.
173
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,209
Paula Drake, little matching dresses.
174
00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:19,293
I'm making sure I have all the details
for when I repeat the story at work.
175
00:08:19,293 --> 00:08:21,293
You are so not interested in this.
176
00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,126
No, I am not interested in this,
and why are you?
177
00:08:24,543 --> 00:08:27,877
I mean, you are finally out of the sticks,
Todd is almost out of the apartment.
178
00:08:27,877 --> 00:08:30,126
You're healing. Don't open the wound.
179
00:08:30,126 --> 00:08:31,877
This means so much to my mother.
180
00:08:32,710 --> 00:08:35,460
Okay, maybe I'm not drinking enough,
because this is unclear.
181
00:08:35,460 --> 00:08:38,835
You don't like your mother,
you don't show up at Thanksgivings.
182
00:08:38,835 --> 00:08:41,626
You send your assistant
to birthday parties,
183
00:08:41,626 --> 00:08:43,752
you don't do Christmas.
184
00:08:43,752 --> 00:08:45,376
Oh, sweet baby Jesus.
185
00:08:47,752 --> 00:08:50,501
Where are these judges?
It's freezing out here.
186
00:08:50,501 --> 00:08:53,501
Well, maybe if a certain shepherd
didn't dress like a $2 whore.
187
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:55,960
- I have a date in half an hour.
- Oh, no, you don't.
188
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,877
It is Christmas Eve, young lady.
You get back here right now.
189
00:08:58,877 --> 00:09:01,960
- You are a member of this family.
- Really? Where do I sign to get out?
190
00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,168
Do not make me
put down this baby Jesus!
191
00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:05,501
[HOWARD SINGING "SILENT NIGHT"]
192
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:09,793
Okay, God, I can't wait to put you
in a home. Really. Oh, God.
193
00:09:10,126 --> 00:09:11,293
[GASPS]
194
00:09:11,293 --> 00:09:13,710
There, I just won you a free ham.
195
00:09:16,626 --> 00:09:19,793
I like it. I think it's edgy.
196
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:23,960
Okay, well, now I am
making it up to her,
197
00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,752
especially if we win.
198
00:09:25,752 --> 00:09:28,002
Because do you know
how good of a dancer I am?
199
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:31,251
Uh, yes, I do.
We used to go dancing all the time.
200
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:35,460
Oh, you used to shake it,
and you used to have everyone watching,
201
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,209
and then I would swoop in
and I would just spank your ass.
202
00:09:38,209 --> 00:09:39,543
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
203
00:09:40,126 --> 00:09:41,376
I love this song.
204
00:09:42,251 --> 00:09:43,626
ANDREA:
Yes.
205
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:01,168
[LAUGHS]
206
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,002
Well, don't just stand there, spank me!
207
00:10:13,835 --> 00:10:16,043
Okay, you can do this.
208
00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:17,460
You know how to dance.
209
00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:19,460
[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
210
00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:48,126
[MUSIC STOPS]
211
00:10:48,126 --> 00:10:49,293
[SIGHS]
212
00:10:49,293 --> 00:10:50,918
Bitch.
213
00:10:54,002 --> 00:10:56,293
Samantha,
214
00:10:56,501 --> 00:10:58,877
get up off the floor.
215
00:10:58,877 --> 00:11:01,960
When your father pulls in, he doesn't stop
until he hits that tennis ball.
216
00:11:03,084 --> 00:11:07,835
I talked to my doctor today
and I have lost my ability to dance.
217
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:11,501
Oh, please. I swear,
that man just says things to upset me.
218
00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:16,752
Ow. No, Mom, it's the amnesia.
He says it happens all the time.
219
00:11:16,752 --> 00:11:20,835
He's seen people lose their ability
to play the piano or to speak French.
220
00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:22,501
Last night I tried to dance at a club,
221
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:26,209
and I unintentionally raised $2,000
for my problem.
222
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:29,251
Samantha, when you were 4
you couldn't dance either.
223
00:11:29,251 --> 00:11:31,543
Until I pushed you
224
00:11:31,543 --> 00:11:33,710
and I made you practice.
225
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:36,334
And then when you were 7
you started bringing home trophies.
226
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:37,710
A Newly never gives up.
227
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,293
It's over, Mom.
228
00:11:39,293 --> 00:11:42,126
The one good thing about my life
and it's just gone.
229
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,960
All right, I'm just gonna go get my stuff
and head back to the city.
230
00:11:51,835 --> 00:11:53,126
Unless you push me again.
231
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:56,376
No. Oh, no, no, no.
232
00:11:56,376 --> 00:11:57,835
That was hard on both of us.
233
00:11:57,835 --> 00:12:01,460
Oh, no, no. There were so many tears,
so many vodka tonics.
234
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,460
Come on, come on.
You just said that a Newly never gives up.
235
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:07,126
On themselves.
236
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,668
On each other, all the time.
237
00:12:12,376 --> 00:12:14,126
Come on.
238
00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:16,877
Come on.
239
00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:21,668
And turn. And turn. And turn.
240
00:12:21,668 --> 00:12:23,460
- I don't see hips. Turn.
- That's my hip.
241
00:12:23,626 --> 00:12:25,793
- My hip is out.
- That's one hip. Cha, cha, cha.
242
00:12:26,084 --> 00:12:28,334
- I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.
- All right. Ready?
243
00:12:28,334 --> 00:12:31,960
- One, two, release. Let go!
- Wait. I just-- Okay, but--
244
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,043
- I don't see a dancer anywhere.
- I am a dancer.
245
00:12:34,043 --> 00:12:36,084
- You are not a dancer.
- I am so a dancer!
246
00:12:36,084 --> 00:12:38,710
- I can't hear you.
- I'm a dancer!
247
00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,084
Then show me you're a dancer--
248
00:12:40,084 --> 00:12:41,251
[BELL DINGS]
249
00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:43,084
Sorry, honey.
Gotta turn the chicken over.
250
00:12:43,084 --> 00:12:46,918
And round and round and step
and cha, cha, cha.
251
00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,585
- That was it.
- Do it again.
252
00:12:48,585 --> 00:12:51,418
- I wanna go. And step back--
- Step and-- That's my girl!
253
00:12:51,418 --> 00:12:54,251
Yes, yes! You did it!
I knew you could do it!
254
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,043
I think somebody
deserves some ice cream.
255
00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:59,084
I think someone deserves some fresh fruit.
I do have to lift you.
256
00:13:02,543 --> 00:13:05,084
Why should I pay some hack
for taking crap photographs
257
00:13:05,084 --> 00:13:06,668
and ruining my wedding?
258
00:13:06,668 --> 00:13:08,710
We really couldn't do any of this
through e-mail?
259
00:13:09,251 --> 00:13:11,668
Look, Jeffrey looks hideous.
260
00:13:11,668 --> 00:13:14,002
He isn't even smiling,
and it's his wedding day.
261
00:13:15,126 --> 00:13:18,002
There's nothing wrong with these.
Your husband looks hot. Pay the man.
262
00:13:18,002 --> 00:13:21,334
Okay, I don't expect somebody
without a ring on her finger to understand.
263
00:13:21,752 --> 00:13:25,626
You just resent women like me
because you want what we have.
264
00:13:25,626 --> 00:13:29,126
Okay, one,
I've probably already had what you have,
265
00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:33,002
and two, maybe there's no ring
on my finger because I don't want one.
266
00:13:33,002 --> 00:13:35,626
- You don't know me.
- Oh, really?
267
00:13:35,626 --> 00:13:39,710
Career girl by day, and by night
a long line of meaningless affairs
268
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:43,002
with guys who wouldn't remember you
if they bumped into you on the street.
269
00:13:43,002 --> 00:13:44,793
Am I close?
270
00:13:44,793 --> 00:13:46,918
Just putting off the day
when you find yourself
271
00:13:46,918 --> 00:13:49,251
dancing next to girls
who are ten years younger than you
272
00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:50,877
and you realize
you've missed your window.
273
00:13:51,293 --> 00:13:53,418
And you end up
in your lonely little apartment,
274
00:13:53,418 --> 00:13:57,460
curled up in front of the television,
eating your sad-looking meatloaf for one
275
00:13:57,460 --> 00:14:01,585
and wearing a sweatshirt that says,
"Forget love, I'm falling in chocolate."
276
00:14:03,918 --> 00:14:05,877
Okay, you know what?
277
00:14:07,376 --> 00:14:09,209
I'm gonna take a ten-minute recess.
278
00:14:09,209 --> 00:14:10,710
No, I don't need ten minutes.
279
00:14:10,710 --> 00:14:13,710
I don't care if you pay me or not,
because those pictures are great.
280
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,251
- The problem is you.
- Excuse me?
281
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,585
When I look at these,
I see a guy who loves his wife,
282
00:14:17,585 --> 00:14:18,918
and all you see are the flaws.
283
00:14:18,918 --> 00:14:21,626
You women complain
that there aren't any good guys out there,
284
00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:23,293
then you find one who treats you well
285
00:14:23,293 --> 00:14:25,626
and remembers
that your favorite flower is the daffodil
286
00:14:25,626 --> 00:14:27,543
and held your hand
while you were in a coma--
287
00:14:27,543 --> 00:14:28,960
- What?
- Even after you cheated.
288
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,626
- I never cheated.
- And you still think
289
00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:32,126
there's something better out there.
290
00:14:32,126 --> 00:14:35,043
So you turn to the one guy
who actually loves you and you say,
291
00:14:35,043 --> 00:14:38,460
"You know what, we're not right together.
You have to move out."
292
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,835
Well, you know what?
I am moving out, all right?
293
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:43,084
I don't care if I have to live in a box.
294
00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:46,585
And for your information,
a guy did offer to marry me.
295
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:50,209
And if that stick would have turned blue,
I'd be living in Scarsdale by now. Uh-huh.
296
00:14:53,752 --> 00:14:56,251
Hey, Todd, it's me.
Just wanted to let you know
297
00:14:56,251 --> 00:14:58,918
that I am not gonna be coming back
to the apartment tonight
298
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:02,168
because I have to rehearse my dance
number with my mom in the morning.
299
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,918
It's kind of fun hanging out with her.
300
00:15:03,918 --> 00:15:06,835
I didn't think that I would really like--
Okay, nice beep. All right.
301
00:15:06,835 --> 00:15:10,126
Mom! Hey, I got the dresses!
302
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,960
Mom!
303
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,960
[CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYING]
304
00:15:16,960 --> 00:15:18,668
Mom?
305
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,209
- What are you doing?
- It's not what it looks like.
306
00:15:22,209 --> 00:15:24,752
You're practicing for the contest with Dad,
aren't you?
307
00:15:24,752 --> 00:15:25,960
No.
308
00:15:26,585 --> 00:15:29,251
We were smoking marijuana.
I am so hungry.
309
00:15:29,251 --> 00:15:30,918
- Who wants pie?
- There's pie.
310
00:15:32,084 --> 00:15:35,334
Here, Dad, I hope you can pull off
something with spaghetti straps.
311
00:15:41,918 --> 00:15:44,209
Samantha.
312
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:48,752
You were making real progress, honey,
but you only got the one step.
313
00:15:48,752 --> 00:15:52,334
Now, if the competition was one step long,
that trophy would have been ours.
314
00:15:52,334 --> 00:15:54,376
No, no, no, you're right.
315
00:15:54,376 --> 00:15:57,002
I mean, I was just being stupid.
316
00:15:57,002 --> 00:15:59,543
- We would never have won as a team.
- Oh...
317
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:02,960
Plus, this is really the push I needed.
318
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:07,126
What am I doing hanging out here all day
dancing with my mommy, right?
319
00:16:07,126 --> 00:16:09,835
I mean, I'm an adult.
320
00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:13,084
Thanks for doing my laundry.
321
00:16:13,084 --> 00:16:14,251
[SNIFFS]
322
00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:16,668
Mm, that really does smell good.
323
00:16:22,376 --> 00:16:23,543
What is that look for?
324
00:16:24,543 --> 00:16:27,334
She said herself she knew
we couldn't beat Paula Drake.
325
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,668
She practically moved back home.
326
00:16:29,668 --> 00:16:31,960
You guys have been out in that garage
ten hours a day.
327
00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:33,918
She did it to be with you.
328
00:16:33,918 --> 00:16:36,043
Howard, please,
I know my own daughter.
329
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:39,084
She hasn't wanted to spend time with me
since she was 12 years old.
330
00:16:39,084 --> 00:16:41,793
Can we please go back out there?
We've got a lot of work to do.
331
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:44,460
You know, I think I'm done for tonight.
332
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:46,501
I don't even want any pie.
333
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:57,501
That bride messengered over the check
this morning.
334
00:16:57,501 --> 00:17:00,960
There's enough here
for first and last month's rent plus security.
335
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,418
Huh. What I said must have
gotten through.
336
00:17:03,418 --> 00:17:05,334
No, what you said
scared the crap out of her.
337
00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:07,168
I had to talk her out
of a restraining order.
338
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:09,251
Great.
339
00:17:09,251 --> 00:17:10,710
So...
340
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:16,293
- Now I can move out.
- Yeah, and Sam can get on with her life.
341
00:17:16,293 --> 00:17:18,209
- And there we are. Thanks, Andrea.
- Mm-hm.
342
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:20,835
- Andrea.
- Right. Right.
343
00:17:20,835 --> 00:17:23,043
And, hey, listen-- Um...
344
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:26,960
You're not going to end up alone,
making meatloaf for one.
345
00:17:30,126 --> 00:17:34,418
And somewhere out there,
there's a girl who's just gonna--
346
00:17:34,418 --> 00:17:36,084
Sorry, I can't do it, it's too weird.
347
00:17:36,084 --> 00:17:37,418
We tried.
348
00:17:38,209 --> 00:17:40,209
[JAZZ PLAYING]@n
349
00:17:42,084 --> 00:17:43,752
[CHATTERING]
350
00:17:58,460 --> 00:17:59,585
Who is that guy?
351
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:02,793
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
352
00:18:10,918 --> 00:18:13,376
That was Drake and Romero.
353
00:18:14,418 --> 00:18:15,710
You guys are next.
354
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:17,543
I will deny that we had this conversation,
355
00:18:17,543 --> 00:18:19,293
but I'm gonna give you guys
some extra light.
356
00:18:23,543 --> 00:18:25,585
I was just warming them up for you,
Regina.
357
00:18:25,585 --> 00:18:28,334
- Where's Charlie?
- Poor thing hurt his knee.
358
00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:30,418
But fortunately, my good friend Mateo,
359
00:18:30,418 --> 00:18:32,668
three-time international
ballroom-dancing champion,
360
00:18:32,668 --> 00:18:34,960
- was able to be with me.
- So when do I get my money?
361
00:18:35,501 --> 00:18:38,334
ANNOUNCER:
Now, please welcome, next to the floor,
362
00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:43,752
Newly and Newly, and the cha-cha.
363
00:18:45,043 --> 00:18:47,084
[MUSIC PLAYING]
364
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,209
You ready, Regina?
365
00:18:49,501 --> 00:18:50,918
Hurt your knee.
366
00:18:50,918 --> 00:18:52,918
I think the expression is "break a leg."
367
00:18:52,918 --> 00:18:56,626
I swear to God, if you don't hurt your knee
right now, I'll break it with a pipe.
368
00:19:00,334 --> 00:19:01,418
[GROANING]
369
00:19:02,585 --> 00:19:05,877
- Oh, the pain, it's on fire. Oh...
- Easy, De Niro.
370
00:19:05,877 --> 00:19:07,960
Flamingo down. Flamingo down.
371
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,002
- Weber and Duncan on deck.
MAN: I don't believe it.
372
00:19:12,293 --> 00:19:14,293
What's going on? Are you okay?
373
00:19:14,293 --> 00:19:17,084
I'm so happy you came. I was afraid
that was going to be our last fight.
374
00:19:17,626 --> 00:19:20,793
No, Mom.
I want to have lots of fights with you.
375
00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:24,835
I mean, it's only been a year
since we started over, right?
376
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:26,460
What kid leaves home after a year?
377
00:19:27,418 --> 00:19:31,418
Oh, it's getting worse!
It's like a branding iron searing my flesh!
378
00:19:31,418 --> 00:19:32,918
It hurts, we get it.
379
00:19:32,918 --> 00:19:36,293
ANNOUNCER:
So last chance for Newly and Newly?
380
00:19:36,293 --> 00:19:38,168
Not on your life. Ready?
381
00:19:38,168 --> 00:19:41,126
What, me? Mom, you won't win.
382
00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:42,918
No, Samantha. We won't win.
383
00:19:44,626 --> 00:19:46,418
I was hoping you would ask.
384
00:19:46,793 --> 00:19:49,251
- Here, take this. Take this.
- Okay. All right.
385
00:19:49,251 --> 00:19:50,918
- Positions.
- Positions.
386
00:19:50,918 --> 00:19:52,918
[CHA-CHA MUSIC PLAYING]
387
00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:05,793
Oh, my God, we're doing it.
388
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:08,084
And--
389
00:20:12,126 --> 00:20:14,585
You know when you think
something is going to go badly
390
00:20:14,585 --> 00:20:17,168
and it goes just okay
so you think it's going great?
391
00:20:19,418 --> 00:20:21,168
It's probably worse
than you ever imagined.
392
00:20:30,752 --> 00:20:34,334
Are you sure you want more light?
Because I was thinking more darkness.
393
00:20:46,126 --> 00:20:48,334
We don't have to go through this
to see each other.
394
00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,793
Just come over. I'll be there.
395
00:20:50,168 --> 00:20:52,334
- That's good to know. Thanks.
- Well, call first.
396
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,918
- I do have a life.
- Yeah.
397
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:55,626
Okay, maybe I was wrong.
398
00:20:55,626 --> 00:20:58,793
Maybe I didn't lose every good thing
with my amnesia.
399
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,418
Some things are in there to discover.
400
00:21:01,418 --> 00:21:03,543
Some can be re-learned.
401
00:21:03,543 --> 00:21:06,084
And others, if they're important,
402
00:21:06,084 --> 00:21:09,793
well, I just gotta trust they'll be there
when I need them.
403
00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:15,543
[MUSIC STOPS]