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[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
2
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:04,043
SAM [IN VOICEOVER]: We make
like a million decisions every day.
3
00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:05,460
Some big and some small.
4
00:00:05,460 --> 00:00:07,543
And it's not always obvious
which is which.
5
00:00:07,543 --> 00:00:09,752
Like this one.
We've all been there.
6
00:00:09,752 --> 00:00:14,334
Whether to tell your new boyfriend
that you still live with your ex-boyfriend.
7
00:00:14,334 --> 00:00:17,877
Could be as big as a freight train
or as tiny as an electric car.
8
00:00:17,877 --> 00:00:19,084
SAM:
Whoo.
9
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[CHUCKLES]
10
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I just love driving in your little toy car.
11
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It's like riding in a snow globe.
12
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So can I come up this time?
13
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Up where?
14
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Stairs?
15
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Upstairs?
16
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No, I'm not ready yet.
17
00:00:35,543 --> 00:00:37,710
You remember
that we already slept together, right?
18
00:00:37,710 --> 00:00:41,877
Yeah. No, no, I'm just
not ready for you to just see it.
19
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All messy and stuff.
20
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It's like a guy lives there. Heh.
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I just-- I have this desire
22
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just to know
23
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everything
24
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about you.
25
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Let me just check with Frank
about a package I was expecting.
26
00:01:06,626 --> 00:01:08,168
Frank?
27
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Question.
28
00:01:10,168 --> 00:01:15,168
Has that package
from the Todd Company arrived yet?
29
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You know,
the one that would make it too crowded
30
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for Owen to come upstairs?
31
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You know, the tall--?
32
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Yes, I understand
what package you mean.
33
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Oh, right, right, right.
34
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Hooh. Brr. It's cold out there.
35
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We could use some global warming
right about now, huh?
36
00:01:40,877 --> 00:01:44,626
So, what do you say, should I plug
this thing in and we go upstairs?
37
00:01:44,626 --> 00:01:47,626
Oh, you quit that sexy talk.
38
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No.
39
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Next time, okay?
40
00:01:56,918 --> 00:02:00,501
Andrea, you're always saying
you have excellent taste.
41
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What do you think?
42
00:02:02,002 --> 00:02:03,960
I think you're very lonely.
43
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,960
I'm photographing the fundraiser calendar
for the Newfie Rescue.
44
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:10,209
What makes a better April, huh?
45
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:11,835
Mr. Cellophane
dressed as the Easter bunny--
46
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[CELL PHONE RINGS]
47
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Oh, that's so weird.
I was just about to fake a phone call.
48
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Hello, Andrea. It's Seth.
49
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,168
- Don't hang up, please--
ANDREA: Seth,
50
00:02:19,168 --> 00:02:20,835
I told you to stop calling me.
51
00:02:20,835 --> 00:02:23,002
No, you already gave me
Tony Dane's phone number.
52
00:02:23,002 --> 00:02:27,043
So unless you turn into an even more
famous basketball player and I go blind,
53
00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:28,543
I don't need you anymore.
54
00:02:28,543 --> 00:02:30,043
- Get them away from me.
- Okay.
55
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- Hey.
ANDREA: Put them away.
56
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Hey. So...
57
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Listen, last night Todd and Owen
almost ran into each other, again.
58
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And I was like, "I cannot keep up
this charade any longer."
59
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So I decided I'm gonna come clean,
I'm gonna tell them both.
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Thank you. Thank you.
61
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- I'm so relieved.
- Who are you gonna tell first?
62
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You couldn't let me just have that
for one second, could you?
63
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Wow, you look stunning tonight.
64
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Ew.
65
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Bartender, I did not order this.
66
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I told you to stop bothering me.
Now, scoot.
67
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I'm meeting Tony here for drinks.
68
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No, you're meeting Seth here for drinks.
69
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I texted you with Tony's phone.
70
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- You little sleaze.
- Well, you wouldn't return my messages,
71
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you kept hanging up on me,
72
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how was I supposed
to get in touch with you?
73
00:03:23,752 --> 00:03:27,501
But the good news is, we get
to stare into each other's eyes all night.
74
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Ready? And go.
75
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,793
- Oh, I'm going.
- Wait, wait, wait.
76
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Let me tell you
why I've been trying to reach you.
77
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Tony won't call you back
until he sees a picture.
78
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A picture? That is so superficial.
79
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Didn't you tell him
how incredibly hot I am?
80
00:03:44,334 --> 00:03:46,918
Look, he's used to dating celebrities,
models.
81
00:03:46,918 --> 00:03:49,334
People that he's seen.
People that we've all seen.
82
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People that have been in rehab.
83
00:03:50,877 --> 00:03:53,918
I can do rehab.
I've done all the work leading up to it.
84
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Just send him a picture.
85
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- Don't make that face.
- Don't make that one.
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Shut up.
87
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And then I realized that my wallet
was in the composting heap.
88
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[BOTH LAUGH]
89
00:04:06,835 --> 00:04:10,668
You're so funny. Which reminds me,
I have something really terrible to tell you.
90
00:04:10,668 --> 00:04:13,877
And look, I feel so bad
that it's taken me this long,
91
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but I was just scared that
you were gonna be freaked out,
92
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which you have absolutely
no reason to be.
93
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What is it? You have a fur coat?
94
00:04:20,543 --> 00:04:22,002
You own some alligator shoes?
95
00:04:22,002 --> 00:04:23,168
I have a roommate.
96
00:04:23,877 --> 00:04:26,334
That's it? That's why
I couldn't come upstairs?
97
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:30,710
The other thing is,
he's a guy who's not gay.
98
00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:33,960
And I know that because
we've slept together like a million times.
99
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,126
Okay, look, my roommate
is my ex-boyfriend, Todd.
100
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And look,
you don't have to worry about a thing,
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there's absolutely
nothing going on between us.
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I also have alligator shoes.
I just want to get that all out.
103
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And a matching bag.
104
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I don't know why I held that back.
105
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Are you mad?
106
00:04:55,710 --> 00:04:57,918
- I'm relieved.
- Hmm?
107
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I didn't want to tell you either,
my best friend is my ex-girlfriend.
108
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- You have a Todd?
- Yeah. Willow, yeah.
109
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I didn't know how to tell you either.
I mean, we went out for a long time
110
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and then, when we broke up
we realized we could be, like, just friends.
111
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Just friends. That's cool.
112
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I guess, you know, for most people
it's strange to be friends with your ex.
113
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Look at us sitting here,
all evolved and everything.
114
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Mm-hm. No, evolution is great.
Yeah, you don't want to be like monkeys.
115
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You know, get out of that tree, monkey!
Heh-heh-heh.
116
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Out of that willow tree.
117
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Off that willow.
118
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Hey, so what if Owen
is best friends with his ex?
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You know, I--
120
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I trust him
and it just shouldn't bother me.
121
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- But it does.
- It does. It really, really does.
122
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I wouldn't like it
if Chase was still friends with his ex-wife.
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Even if the courts allowed it, I wouldn't.
124
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You know, I have a Todd and there's
absolutely nothing going on with my Todd.
125
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Women can have a Todd.
Men get a Todd,
126
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they do what they do
with everything they get,
127
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,126
they just try to figure out a way
to have sex with it.
128
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Hey. Hey, Mom.
Mom, look what I did.
129
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Oh.
130
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It's okay. That's how I learn.
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Forget cookies.
132
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I just went to a couple open houses,
check out our competition.
133
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No one is putting out cookies.
I mean, no one.
134
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It's all cupcakes now.
It's like a nightmare come to life.
135
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- So make cupcakes.
- I don't know how to make cupcakes.
136
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I make chocolate chip cookies.
I'm sorry it's out of fashion.
137
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You should make S'mores.
138
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Remember you'd make them
when we were kids.
139
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Dena, Dena, Dena,
S'mores aren't baking.
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I only made those so you could
have fun together playing with fire,
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while I finished the crossword.
142
00:06:47,543 --> 00:06:49,793
Oh, what is that look?
143
00:06:49,793 --> 00:06:51,543
I was never more than two rooms away.
144
00:06:51,543 --> 00:06:54,168
First of all, this look isn't about you.
145
00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:58,334
But now I have a deeper understanding of
why I'm so frightened of lighting my stove.
146
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:01,501
Owen told her that he's still friends
with his ex-girlfriend, Willow.
147
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,710
- You should tell Owen to dump Willow.
REGINA: Oh, Lord, no. Oh, no, no, no.
148
00:07:05,710 --> 00:07:08,293
No, do not make him choose
between the two of you.
149
00:07:08,293 --> 00:07:11,668
That will just drive them back together.
You need to make friends with this girl.
150
00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:13,084
Yeah?
151
00:07:13,376 --> 00:07:15,293
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
152
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[SAM STAMMERS]
153
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And you know what? I think I'm just upset
because it's just-- It's unknown, you know?
154
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It's the only way you'll get close enough
to destroy her.
155
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:24,877
And back to wrong.
156
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:33,293
So when do you think
I'll be able to meet this--?
157
00:07:33,293 --> 00:07:35,710
What's her name again? What is it?
158
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:37,960
- Willow?
- What? You want to?
159
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,918
That'd be great, she'd love to meet you.
160
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,209
Yeah, I mean if she-- If she wants to.
161
00:07:42,209 --> 00:07:46,626
You know, I got a lot stuff going on,
but, you know, whatever, yeah.
162
00:07:46,626 --> 00:07:50,043
Why don't we have dinner tomorrow
night? We can do it after her yoga class.
163
00:07:50,043 --> 00:07:51,877
Mm. Yoga, huh?
164
00:07:51,877 --> 00:07:54,334
What, is she trying to slim down
or something?
165
00:07:54,334 --> 00:07:56,043
No, no, I hope not. No.
166
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,877
She's too thin as it is.
167
00:07:57,877 --> 00:07:59,877
No, she teaches.
168
00:08:00,626 --> 00:08:02,710
- So, like, what night did you want--?
- Tonight.
169
00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:06,002
- Let's do it tonight.
- Really? That's great.
170
00:08:06,002 --> 00:08:09,501
And we could invite Todd.
I mean, you know, I'd love to meet him.
171
00:08:10,418 --> 00:08:13,126
Todd. Yeah.
172
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,710
Yeah, no he'll--
He's gonna be so excited
173
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:19,585
to finally put a face
to the name I'm constantly saying.
174
00:08:19,585 --> 00:08:21,084
- Oh.
- I just hope
175
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:26,501
tonight's not his bench-pressing class.
So, yeah.
176
00:08:33,002 --> 00:08:35,585
- Hey, you're cooking.
- Yeah.
177
00:08:35,585 --> 00:08:39,460
I just-- Having a couple of friends over
for dinner. This vegan girl
178
00:08:39,460 --> 00:08:43,209
- and her ex-boyfriend, Owen.
- Oh, yeah? When did you meet them?
179
00:08:43,209 --> 00:08:46,501
When I started dating the vegan girl's
ex-boyfriend, Owen. Here, try this.
180
00:08:48,501 --> 00:08:51,460
- Wait, wait, wait.
- I know. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you earlier.
181
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:53,710
I just-- I didn't wanna hurt your feelings,
you know?
182
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:55,710
But then it started
to get really uncomfortable
183
00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,793
because Owen wanted to come up
here and have sex.
184
00:08:57,793 --> 00:08:59,626
I mean, not by himself. With me.
185
00:09:01,293 --> 00:09:02,710
I might be doing this poorly.
186
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:06,752
Okay, well, enjoy your dinner.
I'll be at McCorkle's, it's pot pie night.
187
00:09:06,752 --> 00:09:08,002
No. No, no, you have to stay!
188
00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:13,710
Why would I have dinner with you
and your new boyfriend?
189
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:17,168
Because if you leave
190
00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:20,209
because it's weird for you,
191
00:09:17,168 --> 00:09:20,209
then it's gonna look like you left
192
00:09:20,209 --> 00:09:25,168
and I don't want Owen to think that I live
with a guy who thinks it's weird. Please?
193
00:09:25,168 --> 00:09:27,418
So you want me to put myself
in an awkward situation
194
00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,835
to prove to everyone
how awkward it's not?
195
00:09:29,835 --> 00:09:33,835
Yeah, and if you could do a few pushups
before they get here, that would be great.
196
00:09:33,835 --> 00:09:35,835
Are you sure
you don't want a theme, huh?
197
00:09:36,418 --> 00:09:39,835
Wild West or a saloon girl.
198
00:09:39,835 --> 00:09:41,543
Why would Tony Dane
want a saloon girl?
199
00:09:41,543 --> 00:09:43,668
- Well--
- Do you know why I asked you to do this?
200
00:09:43,668 --> 00:09:46,793
Because you have a camera.
Now, just be quiet and shoot it.
201
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:49,293
Okay, I made a mix of sexy music
202
00:09:49,293 --> 00:09:52,543
just like the photographers
of Redbook use.
203
00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:54,752
[HOT CHOCOLATE'S
"YOU SEXY THING" PLAYING]
204
00:09:54,752 --> 00:09:57,084
Oh. Okay. All right.
205
00:09:57,084 --> 00:09:59,376
You're beautiful.
You're making love to the camera.
206
00:09:59,376 --> 00:10:02,043
You're making holiday crafts, huh?
207
00:10:03,293 --> 00:10:05,960
Oh, y-- Ooh. Whoo.
208
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,418
What?
209
00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,293
What? Let me see.
210
00:10:09,293 --> 00:10:11,668
- Oh, God.
- Ow.
211
00:10:11,668 --> 00:10:14,002
I knew it. I knew it.
212
00:10:14,002 --> 00:10:17,043
Damn it.
I can't believe this is still happening.
213
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:18,752
What is? Because I'm scared.
214
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,585
I've never been able
to take a good picture, okay?
215
00:10:21,585 --> 00:10:25,418
I'm amazing in motion
and then when I stop, I get that.
216
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:27,460
It's like I'm an optical illusion.
217
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,543
No, but you posed for that portrait.
218
00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:35,209
I mean, you look like the Mona Lisa,
but with additional life experience.
219
00:10:35,209 --> 00:10:36,835
I hired a guy to paint it for me.
220
00:10:37,043 --> 00:10:39,168
- From this photo.
- Ooh.
221
00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:42,501
Okay. That guy is an excellent artist.
222
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:44,251
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
223
00:10:44,251 --> 00:10:46,460
Oh, God.
Okay, please don't be prettier than me.
224
00:10:46,460 --> 00:10:48,960
Please don't be prettier than me.
225
00:10:50,460 --> 00:10:53,752
Oh, good.
Oh, God, her head is gigantic.
226
00:10:53,752 --> 00:10:55,002
Oh, it's the fisheye thing.
227
00:10:56,168 --> 00:10:58,084
Hello. Welcome.
228
00:10:58,084 --> 00:11:00,668
- Hey, Sam, this is Willow.
- Sam.
229
00:11:00,668 --> 00:11:03,585
Oh, it's so amazing to finally meet you.
230
00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:05,752
Owen talks about you so much
I feel like I know you.
231
00:11:05,752 --> 00:11:07,209
[OWEN AND WILLOW CHUCKLE]
232
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:10,002
- Come on in.
OWEN AND SAM: Hi.
233
00:11:11,376 --> 00:11:15,376
Okay, so admit it. You were a little freaked
out when you heard about me, right?
234
00:11:15,376 --> 00:11:17,835
I know, most women are
and I completely understand.
235
00:11:17,835 --> 00:11:20,668
No, gosh. No, no, no.
236
00:11:20,668 --> 00:11:22,002
No. A little bit.
237
00:11:22,002 --> 00:11:23,209
[CHUCKLING]
238
00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:25,918
- Just a smidge. I haven't slept in days.
- Mm.
239
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:29,752
I get it. I'm so sorry.
240
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:32,793
- Come here. Mm-hm.
- Uh-- Heh.
241
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:34,376
[WHISPERS]
She's great!
242
00:11:34,376 --> 00:11:35,793
Hey, you must be Owen.
243
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,501
Hi, nice to meet you, Todd.
244
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:39,002
- And this is --
- Todd?
245
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,002
- Willow? From the art institute?
- Ha-ha.
246
00:11:41,002 --> 00:11:43,251
Photography 205, Body and Shadows.
247
00:11:43,251 --> 00:11:44,752
You guys know each other?
248
00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,376
Willow was our life-studies model.
249
00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:49,126
Didn't you wear that same, grungy,
Soundgarden T-shirt like every day?
250
00:11:49,334 --> 00:11:52,002
- Yeah, more than what you were wearing.
- Oh, stop it.
251
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,376
Yeah, I know. Quit it.
252
00:11:53,376 --> 00:11:55,668
At least he was polite enough
to hit on me after class.
253
00:11:55,668 --> 00:11:57,168
TODD:
But you always had some boyfriend.
254
00:11:57,168 --> 00:11:59,002
- Yeah, this guy.
- You're kidding.
255
00:11:59,002 --> 00:12:01,334
[ALL LAUGH]
256
00:12:01,334 --> 00:12:04,626
Oh, my God. You were naked.
And Todd asked you out.
257
00:12:04,626 --> 00:12:07,793
That is-- It's extremely hilarious.
258
00:12:09,043 --> 00:12:10,918
I cannot believe
how many Pearl Jam concerts
259
00:12:10,918 --> 00:12:12,752
we were at at the same time
without knowing.
260
00:12:12,752 --> 00:12:14,501
I know it's so crazy.
261
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,168
Remember that two-hour encore
they did?
262
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,626
- Best. The best.
SAM: You want to hear something crazy?
263
00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:23,668
You know that song by that band who--?
Oh, God, what's the name of the band?
264
00:12:23,668 --> 00:12:28,418
I don't know. They have a song that's on
a commercial right now and it goes like:
265
00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:31,334
[HUMS TUNE]
266
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,418
- Why is that crazy?
- Oh.
267
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:36,460
- Oh, well, Owen and I get it.
- Heh. I don't have a TV.
268
00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:38,835
Oh, well, that's crazy. Am I right?
269
00:12:38,835 --> 00:12:39,960
Oh, I don't have one either.
270
00:12:40,418 --> 00:12:41,960
Oh, you don't.
271
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,418
WILLOW:
Hey.
272
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:46,376
Do you still have pictures of me
from art class? I never got copies.
273
00:12:46,376 --> 00:12:48,376
Yeah, yeah, I think so.
In the other room.
274
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:50,626
I don't know if I should.
That's when I was in shape.
275
00:12:50,626 --> 00:12:53,334
No. Oh, no.
Yeah, you guys go look at those.
276
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:55,793
Have fun. That's fun.
277
00:12:55,793 --> 00:12:59,293
- She's great.
- So is Todd. Okay, confession,
278
00:12:59,293 --> 00:13:02,585
I didn't really love it
when I found you guys lived together.
279
00:13:02,585 --> 00:13:06,626
But now that I know you're just friends,
I kind of feel silly.
280
00:13:06,626 --> 00:13:08,084
[TODD LAUGHING]
281
00:13:08,084 --> 00:13:09,793
[WILLOW LAUGHING]
282
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,209
Yeah.
283
00:13:11,626 --> 00:13:12,835
Hmm?
284
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,543
[WILLOW SIGHS]
285
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:18,043
You know, since this is Owen's
first time at the apartment,
286
00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:21,251
we were thinking we'd get dessert
and give you time to hang out alone.
287
00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:22,793
- Cool, thanks.
- That's ridiculous.
288
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:25,877
No, I mean, it's just silly
because I already went to the store.
289
00:13:25,877 --> 00:13:27,752
I went to the Nature Mart.
I got us dessert.
290
00:13:27,752 --> 00:13:32,002
- So who wants rhubarb crisp?
- Ooh. That sounds good.
291
00:13:32,002 --> 00:13:33,960
- Really?
- We're just gonna get going.
292
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,668
Yeah, Sam, thank you so much.
She's the best.
293
00:13:37,668 --> 00:13:40,334
- Don't blow it, dumb-dumb.
- Don't you blow it, knucklehead.
294
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:41,543
[ALL LAUGH]
295
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:43,126
See you later, bastards.
296
00:13:45,293 --> 00:13:46,668
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
297
00:13:46,668 --> 00:13:49,251
We'll just give your pictures
a little enhancement.
298
00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:53,168
You'll see, if we don't like something,
we'll just touch it up in-- Oh.
299
00:13:53,168 --> 00:13:56,793
- Oh, my God.
- Dena, is it bad? Okay, show me.
300
00:13:57,626 --> 00:14:01,293
Why do you have a picture of an iguana?
Oh, my God. Oh.
301
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:06,835
I don't understand
how this becomes that.
302
00:14:06,835 --> 00:14:09,376
It just does. It doesn't matter.
303
00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:12,752
- I'm never going to meet Tony Dane.
- So what?
304
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:13,918
Whoo.
305
00:14:14,126 --> 00:14:18,084
I mean, he's just a guy.
You can have any guy you want.
306
00:14:18,084 --> 00:14:20,293
Any regular guy.
307
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,960
This guy's famous.
308
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,209
- What does that matter?
- It just matters, okay?
309
00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:26,626
It's just
310
00:14:27,793 --> 00:14:30,293
ever since I was a little girl,
311
00:14:30,793 --> 00:14:36,084
you know, I'd look at these famous guys,
and I'd wanna be that girl.
312
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:40,835
You know, the one with them
walking down the red carpet,
313
00:14:40,835 --> 00:14:43,126
and the one
fighting with them at the airport.
314
00:14:43,126 --> 00:14:47,168
That girl. That girl that everyone hated
just because she was with him.
315
00:14:47,168 --> 00:14:49,209
Oh, but plenty of people do hate you.
316
00:14:49,209 --> 00:14:50,501
Just the ones that know me.
317
00:14:51,084 --> 00:14:53,918
I wanna be hated everywhere
by everyone.
318
00:14:55,293 --> 00:14:57,668
Then let's get you that dream. Huh?
319
00:14:57,668 --> 00:14:59,501
Yes. Okay.
320
00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:02,376
Oh.
321
00:15:02,376 --> 00:15:04,710
- That's not gonna do it.
- One more.
322
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:05,877
At least.
323
00:15:07,626 --> 00:15:08,835
Uh, oh.
324
00:15:08,835 --> 00:15:10,293
- Sorry.
- Hmm?
325
00:15:10,293 --> 00:15:11,626
Is it the rhubarb crisp?
326
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:14,918
Mm. No, no.
327
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,877
I was just wondering
why Todd and Willow are still out.
328
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:19,626
- It's only been a half an hour.
- Yeah.
329
00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:22,835
Do you think they're okay? I mean,
should we call around or something?
330
00:15:22,835 --> 00:15:26,626
How late can dessert go before places
have to start setting up for breakfast?
331
00:15:28,043 --> 00:15:31,710
Okay, Sam, I think
I gotta ask you a question.
332
00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:35,126
I mean, I know that I'm over Willow.
Are you really sure that you're over Todd?
333
00:15:35,126 --> 00:15:36,585
What?
334
00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:40,960
Yeah. I mean, why would you think
I'm not?
335
00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:43,835
I guess because the pause you took
before you said "yeah"
336
00:15:43,835 --> 00:15:46,960
- was big enough for me to park my car in.
- Okay, first of all,
337
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,209
you have a very tiny car.
338
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:51,668
And also, you--
I was just caught off guard.
339
00:15:51,668 --> 00:15:53,668
Just ask me again. Go ahead.
340
00:15:53,668 --> 00:15:55,460
- Okay.
- Okay.
341
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,543
Can you honestly say
that Todd is just a friend
342
00:15:57,543 --> 00:15:59,376
whom you don't have
romantic feelings for?
343
00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,084
Okay, that's--
344
00:16:02,084 --> 00:16:04,168
No, wait, no.
Please, please. That's not fair.
345
00:16:04,168 --> 00:16:05,626
You changed the question around.
346
00:16:05,626 --> 00:16:08,084
Sam, look, I really like you,
347
00:16:08,084 --> 00:16:11,543
but I can't move forward
unless you just get rid of the pause.
348
00:16:13,209 --> 00:16:15,334
Ahh...
349
00:16:17,501 --> 00:16:19,460
REGINA:
Samantha. Samantha.
350
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,334
A hundred strokes. That's all.
351
00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:23,793
The future of our business
rests on those cupcakes.
352
00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:25,543
I'm so mad at Owen.
353
00:16:25,543 --> 00:16:27,793
I mean, making me choose
between him and Todd.
354
00:16:27,793 --> 00:16:31,126
I should have him choose between me
and Todd. See how he likes it.
355
00:16:31,126 --> 00:16:32,418
Yeah. Hmm.
356
00:16:32,418 --> 00:16:37,835
Handsome millionaire environmentalist
or the hobo who's living on my couch.
357
00:16:37,835 --> 00:16:40,043
I can see where you'd be stumped.
358
00:16:40,043 --> 00:16:41,752
Maybe he's right about how I feel.
359
00:16:41,752 --> 00:16:43,710
Because I really, really hated it
360
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:47,334
that Todd was out
with that Miss Nude-Photo Princess.
361
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:49,626
I'm sure you did.
362
00:16:49,626 --> 00:16:51,585
You saw yourself
losing your fallback guy.
363
00:16:52,209 --> 00:16:53,710
I don't even know what that is.
364
00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,043
The person you always keep
in the back of your mind.
365
00:16:56,043 --> 00:16:59,585
You know, as a possibility in case
the one you're with doesn't work out.
366
00:16:59,585 --> 00:17:01,084
Loretta McCloski.
367
00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:06,334
We'll talk later.
368
00:17:06,334 --> 00:17:08,460
I mean, do you think he's right?
369
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:10,835
Do you think I'm choosing Todd over him?
370
00:17:10,835 --> 00:17:12,043
REGINA:
No, I don't.
371
00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:14,752
I think you're just afraid
of moving toward something new.
372
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:16,626
You know, Todd is like cookies.
373
00:17:16,626 --> 00:17:19,334
Todd's familiar.
Owen is like cupcakes.
374
00:17:19,334 --> 00:17:21,418
Take me, I'm making cupcakes.
375
00:17:21,418 --> 00:17:23,251
Cupcakes are the future.
376
00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:26,002
- I think your future is burning.
- What?
377
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:29,877
Oh. Oh, no! Oh.
378
00:17:29,877 --> 00:17:31,043
Oh.
379
00:17:31,043 --> 00:17:33,918
So maybe the future is doughnuts.
380
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:38,460
No, the future is a place where real estate
is a career for 22-year-olds
381
00:17:38,668 --> 00:17:41,376
with flat stomachs
and tinted moisturizer and cupcakes.
382
00:17:42,209 --> 00:17:46,084
Anyone over 35 is just a ridiculous relic!
383
00:17:47,793 --> 00:17:50,752
- Is she still saying she's 36?
- Thirty-eight.
384
00:17:51,835 --> 00:17:55,835
So, what is this
that you're trying to decide?
385
00:17:55,835 --> 00:17:57,293
Between Owen and Todd.
386
00:17:57,293 --> 00:18:01,209
The only problem is if I choose Owen
that means I have to get rid of Todd.
387
00:18:01,209 --> 00:18:04,877
And then what if it doesn't work out
with Owen then I've lost Todd forever.
388
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,960
Okay. Here.
389
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:10,376
- Flip it.
- Flip a coin?
390
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,460
Heads, it's Owen. Tails, it's Todd.
391
00:18:12,460 --> 00:18:14,126
Oh, this is ridiculous.
392
00:18:14,126 --> 00:18:15,501
Fine.
393
00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:23,126
Tails, it's Todd. Congratulations.
394
00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:27,460
Let me do it again because I barely even
tossed it and it deserves a fair chance.
395
00:18:27,460 --> 00:18:28,793
Right?
396
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:30,002
Okay.
397
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:33,668
Tails, it's Todd. Congratulations.
398
00:18:33,668 --> 00:18:36,126
- Best three out of five.
- No, no, Sammy.
399
00:18:36,126 --> 00:18:38,084
Do you really need to flip it again?
400
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,126
No. Thank you, Daddy.
401
00:18:42,126 --> 00:18:44,168
I know what I have to do.
402
00:18:46,002 --> 00:18:49,710
So where is this photo
and why couldn't you e-mail it to me, huh?
403
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,126
Please say it's too dirty.
404
00:18:51,126 --> 00:18:53,002
I'm not sending Tony Dane a photo.
405
00:18:53,002 --> 00:18:55,460
Wow, you gave up faster than I thought.
406
00:18:55,460 --> 00:18:58,251
Perhaps because you've accepted
the inevitability of us.
407
00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:00,168
No.
408
00:19:01,877 --> 00:19:03,209
I'm sending him this.
409
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:06,043
That is perfect
because I just got him a giant wallet.
410
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:10,543
Be careful with it,
it's one of a kind. Like me.
411
00:19:10,543 --> 00:19:12,585
You got it.
412
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:13,710
Careful, idiot!
413
00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:21,918
Ask me if I'm over Todd.
414
00:19:21,918 --> 00:19:23,376
- Heh.
- Go ahead.
415
00:19:23,376 --> 00:19:26,251
- Okay, are you over Todd?
- Yes. Ask me again.
416
00:19:26,251 --> 00:19:27,585
- Are you over--?
- Yes.
417
00:19:27,585 --> 00:19:29,835
See? No pause.
418
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,585
I wanna be with you.
419
00:19:31,585 --> 00:19:34,043
- How did you decide this?
- I flipped a coin.
420
00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:35,710
- You flipped a coin.
- Mm-hm.
421
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:38,376
And you lost. Every time.
422
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:39,835
I'm a little confused.
423
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:44,918
Okay, it came up Todd twice in a row,
but that didn't matter.
424
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:47,209
I didn't even need to see the next flip,
425
00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:51,251
because no matter how obvious it is,
or how loud the universe screams at me:
426
00:19:51,251 --> 00:19:55,084
"You're supposed to be with Todd,"
I wanted it to be you.
427
00:19:55,293 --> 00:19:59,918
- That didn't come out right at all.
- No. It never does. It's kind of your thing.
428
00:20:01,084 --> 00:20:02,668
[GIGGLES]
429
00:20:03,918 --> 00:20:05,251
SAM [IN VOICEOVER]:
So get this:
430
00:20:05,251 --> 00:20:08,835
The word "decision" comes from
the same root as the word "scissors."
431
00:20:08,835 --> 00:20:11,418
I know that because
I spelled "schism" wrong one day,
432
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:13,835
and spellcheck
led me to learn something.
433
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:15,793
[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
434
00:20:19,793 --> 00:20:22,543
Decisions and scissors
can both be scary.
435
00:20:22,543 --> 00:20:25,710
I mean, you can't gouge your eye out
with just a decision.
436
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:27,126
But sometimes it feels that way.
437
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:28,626
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
438
00:20:31,626 --> 00:20:35,209
With every decision, you're snipping away
the choices you don't want.
439
00:20:35,209 --> 00:20:36,585
Hey, Frank.
440
00:20:36,585 --> 00:20:39,626
Sometimes you make a decision
and feel sure you did the right thing.
441
00:20:39,626 --> 00:20:42,043
Hey, Todd. I'm glad I caught you.
442
00:20:42,043 --> 00:20:44,668
I just wanna tell you
that if you want to go out with Willow
443
00:20:44,668 --> 00:20:46,918
then you have my blessing.
444
00:20:47,585 --> 00:20:50,084
Well. Thank you.
445
00:20:50,084 --> 00:20:52,626
And what if I wanted to go out with her
the last two nights
446
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:53,918
and part of this morning?
447
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,376
Namaste.
448
00:20:57,835 --> 00:20:59,710
- All right.
- Okay.
449
00:20:59,710 --> 00:21:02,752
But sometimes, you can't help
but to think a little bit
450
00:21:02,752 --> 00:21:05,376
about the choices you've cut loose.
451
00:21:08,793 --> 00:21:10,418
[COIN CLINKS]
452
00:21:10,418 --> 00:21:13,710
Don't pick it up
until we find out if it's heads or--
453
00:21:14,376 --> 00:21:16,918
No. Let's not find out.
454
00:21:16,918 --> 00:21:18,543
Shh.