1 00:00:02,376 --> 00:00:04,501 SAMANTHA: Since breaking up with the perfect guy, 2 00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:06,501 I've discovered plenty of imperfect ones. 3 00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:07,668 Oh, God. 4 00:00:07,668 --> 00:00:09,668 I definitely don't fall for every guy I meet. 5 00:00:11,418 --> 00:00:12,626 But when I do fall-- 6 00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:13,835 Okay. 7 00:00:13,835 --> 00:00:15,501 - I'm Mike. - Hi. 8 00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:16,752 --I fall fast. 9 00:00:23,918 --> 00:00:25,668 And I always land hard. 10 00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,168 Oh, it hurts. 11 00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:30,376 I just want it to stop. 12 00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:32,501 TODD: Oh, trust me, you're not the only one. 13 00:00:32,501 --> 00:00:34,002 It's okay, sweetie. 14 00:00:34,002 --> 00:00:37,376 We're gonna get through this like we always do. 15 00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:38,793 I think she might kill herself. 16 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:41,334 SAMANTHA: I'm not gonna kill myself, okay? 17 00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:44,334 I know you won't. You are strong. 18 00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:47,918 [WHISPERS] I'm gonna need belts, shoelaces, and any of your ties. 19 00:00:47,918 --> 00:00:51,460 - I have one tie. You can't have it. - But what if she...you know? 20 00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,209 Then I'll need it for the funeral. 21 00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:55,626 What is wrong with me? 22 00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:58,126 It's like I have absolutely no learning curve. 23 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,126 You know, I like-- I meet a guy. 24 00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:04,334 I put everything that I have into that relationship for three weeks 25 00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:07,084 and then I just end up in a ball on the floor. 26 00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:10,002 Too bad they didn't know you when you gave nothing to a relationship. 27 00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,626 They might've stuck around for four years. 28 00:01:12,626 --> 00:01:14,501 That's it. You know what? 29 00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:17,126 - No more men. - Good. Take a break. 30 00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:19,168 Maybe that's it. I just need to-- 31 00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:21,585 I just need to be single for a while, you know? 32 00:01:21,585 --> 00:01:23,168 Just stand on my own. 33 00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:24,877 But not on a ledge, right? 34 00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,835 You know what? Just saying that, 35 00:01:27,835 --> 00:01:29,293 I feel better. 36 00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:31,418 Oh, it hurts. 37 00:01:31,418 --> 00:01:33,710 Oh, make it stop. 38 00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,002 Honey, I think you need to eat food. 39 00:01:36,002 --> 00:01:39,209 SAMANTHA: God, Mike and I used to eat food. 40 00:01:39,209 --> 00:01:42,334 - What happened? She was feeling great. - I have no idea. 41 00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:45,793 I just asked if there's something she was doing to keep driving these men away. 42 00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:48,209 And then I guess she thought of something really sad. 43 00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,002 I forgot. How many pairs of underwear do I pack for a week? 44 00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:52,334 - Nine. - Are you sure? 45 00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,668 Last time I packed nine, and it was not enough. 46 00:01:54,668 --> 00:01:56,418 - Then pack 12. - No, that's too much. 47 00:01:56,418 --> 00:01:57,960 I was thinking more like ten or 11. 48 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,668 Sam, any thoughts on this? 49 00:01:59,668 --> 00:02:01,918 Wait, wait, wait a minute. You guys are going away? 50 00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:03,960 When were you gonna tell me this? 51 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,877 When I started to love you too much? 52 00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:10,209 I am making your father take a vacation. 53 00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:13,376 His doctor said his blood pressure is sky-high. 54 00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,376 I don't want him keeling over. 55 00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:17,501 A vacation. That's what I need. 56 00:02:17,501 --> 00:02:19,918 I need to go away. I need to go away with my family. 57 00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,710 Just get away from anything that reminds me of Mike. 58 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,002 Well, come on along. 59 00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:26,084 We were just gonna go up to Mike Mountain. 60 00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:28,168 [BOTH LAUGH] 61 00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:29,668 Yeah. 62 00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:32,710 Stop. No, that's a good idea. We'll make it a family vacation. 63 00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:35,626 Well, I'm game. We're going up to that resort on Lake Wopahowie 64 00:02:35,626 --> 00:02:38,126 that we used to go to every year. You loved that place. 65 00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:39,543 Oh, the lake resort. 66 00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:42,209 - Yeah, that was fun. REGINA: Really? 67 00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:44,918 - You remember the lake resort? - No, no. 68 00:02:44,918 --> 00:02:46,835 But sometimes that just works. 69 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,793 Really? Your mom wants me to come? 70 00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,002 Yeah, well, I mean, she said I could bring one friend. 71 00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:53,626 Just not Andrea. So, yeah. 72 00:02:53,626 --> 00:02:57,418 I always wanted to go with you as a kid, but my mom was always sick. 73 00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,501 But now she's dead. Yay! 74 00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,002 - That didn't come out right. - No. 75 00:03:02,002 --> 00:03:05,168 But listen, please, please, please, don't say anything to Andrea, okay? 76 00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:08,585 I need to handle this very delicately, so zip. 77 00:03:08,585 --> 00:03:10,460 DENA: Mm-hm. 78 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:15,334 I love these giant mugs. They make my hands look extra teeny. 79 00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,460 - Sam and I are going away. - Dena. 80 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,418 What is she talking about? Where are you going with her and not me? 81 00:03:20,418 --> 00:03:22,877 - Nowhere that you would wanna go. - How do you know that? 82 00:03:22,877 --> 00:03:25,168 - On vacation with my parents. - Oh, ew. 83 00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:26,918 - See? - Well, it doesn't mean 84 00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:29,668 - I wouldn't have liked to have been asked. - I know. I'm sorry. 85 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:33,209 Andrea, would you like to come on vacation with me and my family 86 00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:35,501 even though it is 200 miles in a car 87 00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:38,293 with my dad singing "Rhinestone Cowboy"? 88 00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:39,668 Thank you. 89 00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:41,126 Yes, I'd love to go. 90 00:03:41,126 --> 00:03:43,668 - What? No fair. - Okay, shh. 91 00:03:43,668 --> 00:03:47,877 Listen, my mom said I can only bring one person and I already asked Dena. 92 00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:49,376 And her mom's finally dead. 93 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,543 - Lucky. - Yeah. 94 00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:05,002 Dad, thanks so much for stopping, but you know what? 95 00:04:05,002 --> 00:04:07,334 I don't think I can go here so I'll just hold it. 96 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,752 Well, this is where we're staying. 97 00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:11,209 Oh. 98 00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:15,084 I guess I'll be holding it for a week. 99 00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:17,752 HOWARD: Wow, they sure fixed up the place. 100 00:04:19,043 --> 00:04:21,376 I know I'm a guest and I shouldn't be nitpicky, 101 00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:24,209 but we're going to be murdered here. 102 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,002 All right, girls. No complaining. 103 00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:29,043 That man's life depends on this vacation 104 00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:32,626 and we're all going to enjoy ourselves no matter how much drinking I have to do. 105 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:36,418 You're right. I don't care what it looks like or smells like. 106 00:04:36,418 --> 00:04:38,002 I'm out of the city, 107 00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:39,793 and away from men and heartbreak 108 00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:41,376 - and I like it. BRAD: Sam? 109 00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:43,334 Oh, my God. 110 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:45,501 I can't believe you came back. 111 00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:49,043 - Oh, no. He sounds cute. - Yeah. 112 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,585 Damn it. 113 00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:11,209 So, Brad, you running the place now? 114 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,002 Yeah, since my dad died. 115 00:05:13,002 --> 00:05:15,835 Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. He was such a nice man. 116 00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:17,460 Did they ever catch his killer? 117 00:05:18,835 --> 00:05:20,168 [DENA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY] 118 00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:22,209 Wow, look at you, Sam. 119 00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,168 And you, 120 00:05:24,168 --> 00:05:25,793 friendly innkeeper. 121 00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,084 [LAUGHS] 122 00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:28,960 Samantha, it's Brad. 123 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,168 Little Brad. 124 00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:32,877 Oh, good Lord, he was your first love. 125 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:37,084 - Of course he was. - What do you mean, first love? 126 00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:41,334 Howard, that last summer, she showed up late for every meal with leaves in her hair. 127 00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,501 - What did you think she was doing? - Bird watching. 128 00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:46,084 She said she was bird watching and that's what she was doing. 129 00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,877 - Now I'm gonna go unpack the car. - No heavy lifting. 130 00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:52,293 I swear, you die up here, I'll bury you right where you drop. 131 00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:54,460 There aren't a lot of birds here in the winter, 132 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,835 but there's a family of badgers we can watch. 133 00:05:57,752 --> 00:05:59,626 Look, I'm sorry. 134 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:03,918 I'm sure it all that bird stuff was a lot of fun and everything, 135 00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:05,002 but I have amnesia. 136 00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,835 - I have the bubonic plague. - Hm. 137 00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:13,835 No, I don't. No. This is-- We-- 138 00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:16,585 Remember that game where you'd say something that started with A 139 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,543 and I would name one that started with a B? 140 00:06:18,543 --> 00:06:19,918 No. 141 00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:23,960 Wow. Amnesia. Oh, I'm sorry. 142 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,293 Oh, no, no, no. It's okay. 143 00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:30,251 It's sort of like having a surprise party every single day. 144 00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,835 Like finding out about us. 145 00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:33,626 - Surprise. - Okay. 146 00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:36,960 Here are your room keys. Just settle in. 147 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,002 And if you need anything, don't be afraid to ask. 148 00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:42,835 Well, then, how about a dirty martini, three olives? 149 00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,334 How's that for getting settled in? 150 00:06:45,002 --> 00:06:47,334 Yes, we no longer serve alcohol. 151 00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,835 The liquor license got too expensive. 152 00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:52,877 Surprise. 153 00:06:54,668 --> 00:06:57,376 - So he was my first kiss, huh? - Yeah. 154 00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,960 You'd come back from your week and tell me all about it 155 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,585 and I'd remember every single detail 156 00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:03,752 because I used to write about it in my diary. 157 00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:05,835 Except I'd use my name instead of yours. 158 00:07:05,835 --> 00:07:07,585 Well, why didn't you warn me about that? 159 00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,168 I didn't think he'd still be here. 160 00:07:09,168 --> 00:07:12,334 I mean, what grown adult lives in the same house they grew up in 161 00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,668 and never leaves? 162 00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:15,668 - You. - Oh, that's true. 163 00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:18,460 Andrea? 164 00:07:19,168 --> 00:07:21,752 Oh, my God, hey. 165 00:07:22,126 --> 00:07:23,793 You guys come here too? 166 00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:26,084 How crazy is that? 167 00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:27,543 Well, crazy is one way to put it. 168 00:07:27,543 --> 00:07:29,752 No, I come here all the time. 169 00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:32,626 I love it. It has mice. 170 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,918 SAMANTHA: Hm. ANDREA: Ew. 171 00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,460 Hey, did you see the guy who runs this place? 172 00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,334 You know, normally I do not go for hill people, 173 00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:45,043 but he was hot. 174 00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:48,002 That's Brad. He and Sam used to hook up. 175 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,460 Long ago when we were kids. 176 00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,168 And just with this part. 177 00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:54,168 Well, it's time to use the other parts. 178 00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:56,460 No, it is time to do nothing with nobody. 179 00:07:56,460 --> 00:08:00,002 And he is exactly the nobody I'm going to do nothing with. 180 00:08:00,002 --> 00:08:02,460 Because he is cute and we have a history 181 00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,668 and I am a sucker for that. 182 00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:07,084 So keep him away from me or else he'll rip my heart out. 183 00:08:07,084 --> 00:08:08,585 If not him, someone will. 184 00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:13,002 I put your father down for a nap. Can I--? 185 00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:17,501 - What the hell are you doing here? - I can be here, it's a free country. 186 00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,002 Oh, you can't just invite yourse-- 187 00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:20,209 Oh, wait. 188 00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,460 You brought alcohol. You always have alcohol. 189 00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,918 Do I? 190 00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:25,835 Oh, it's hard to say. 191 00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,460 Come on, Andrea. Have a-- Andrea. 192 00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,251 Have a heart. 193 00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,334 My husband's dying. 194 00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,793 Oh, where'd you find this? 195 00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:38,460 Oh, I was poking around, 196 00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:41,793 looking for a secret soundproof basement with a drain in the floor 197 00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,501 and I found fun games. 198 00:08:43,501 --> 00:08:45,043 Cool. 199 00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:49,334 Except we only have two E's, an A, 200 00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:51,877 and a curiously strong breath mint with a Z on it. 201 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:54,002 BRAD: Hey. - Ew. I'm not sure I wanna touch that. 202 00:08:54,002 --> 00:08:55,543 Mind if I join you? 203 00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,209 Oh, no. You can. 204 00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,293 Great. 205 00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,043 Would you like a mint? 206 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,835 [SIGHS] 207 00:09:17,835 --> 00:09:20,376 - Hey, Sam. - Oh, hey, dude. What's up? 208 00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:23,293 What's going on? I sort of get the feeling you're avoiding me. 209 00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:26,460 Avoiding you? No. Oh, actually I was looking for you. 210 00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,293 I was. That's why I ran out here. 211 00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,835 You work here, so, what would you recommend? 212 00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,334 Because I'm like, ooh, starving. 213 00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,918 I've been wanting to show you something. 214 00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:38,793 There's only one bag of those chips and I'm gonna stay here 215 00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,585 just to make sure that no one else gets it. 216 00:09:40,877 --> 00:09:43,543 Come on. It'll take two seconds. Come on. 217 00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,334 - Okay. - Come on, it's right here. 218 00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:52,293 - Come on. - What, you want to play tetherball? 219 00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:53,752 Look. 220 00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:55,918 SAMANTHA: Oh, my God. 221 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,334 Look at that. 222 00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:03,293 My hand was so small. 223 00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:05,168 We did it 224 00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:07,460 so they would always be one handprint 225 00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:09,793 together. 226 00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,209 Look we made a heart. 227 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,543 Yeah. 228 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,251 I know why this place is falling apart. 229 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,460 Because the help's spending so much time hitting on the guests. 230 00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:33,126 That's what-- Yeah, maybe just a few more fresh towels, 231 00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:35,585 a little less "fresh" behavior, you know? 232 00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:37,543 - What? - Yeah, you heard me. 233 00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:43,626 HOWARD: Fifty-eight, 59, 60, 61-- - Hi, sweetie. 234 00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,710 Hey, where have you been? 235 00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,626 How come you didn't ask me to go on your walk? 236 00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:49,418 Because you're supposed to be relaxing. 237 00:10:49,418 --> 00:10:51,334 Well, I hate relaxing. 238 00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:56,168 I can't rock any more. I've already rocked 4,208 times. 239 00:10:56,168 --> 00:10:58,418 And there's 61 trees in that direction. 240 00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:03,168 Always have to be busy. Always have to have a hobby. 241 00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:05,543 Remember when I got you that wine-making kit? 242 00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:08,251 - Yeah, I wasn't very good at that. - Yes, you were. 243 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,168 It had a nice oaky finish. 244 00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,710 Well, I don't know how. I made it in a plastic garbage can. 245 00:11:13,168 --> 00:11:17,835 Well, the point is, what can you tell me about fermenting these berries? 246 00:11:18,835 --> 00:11:21,168 Well, one, they would probably poison you 247 00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,043 and, two, it would take three months. 248 00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:25,626 Shoot. 249 00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:29,002 You know, everyone talks about what the Donner Party ate all winter. 250 00:11:29,002 --> 00:11:31,626 No one ever asks what they drank. 251 00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:37,334 I don't know how you resisted Brad, with the handprints and the moonlight, 252 00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:40,501 and the look in his eye which could be love or could be crazy. 253 00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,334 But either way, it's attention. 254 00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:45,877 No, I know I felt bad about being harsh, but I had to act fast. 255 00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:48,043 You know, I felt like a trapped wolf 256 00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:51,043 who had to chew off my leg before I kissed him. 257 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,752 And who wants to kiss a girl with a wolf leg in her mouth? 258 00:11:53,752 --> 00:11:55,418 ANDREA: Well... 259 00:11:57,585 --> 00:11:59,835 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God. Come on. Shh. 260 00:12:05,002 --> 00:12:07,793 It looks like you chewed off the wrong girl's leg. 261 00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,293 - Mm-hm. - Oh. 262 00:12:12,168 --> 00:12:14,002 She is supposed to be my friend. 263 00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:15,418 And how could she do this? 264 00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:17,334 You did say you didn't want Brad. 265 00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:19,710 No, I didn't. I said I didn't want to want him. 266 00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,460 That doesn't mean that I don't want him. 267 00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:24,585 - Which I don't. - Well, I can't believe she got confused. 268 00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:27,418 Oh, God. I'm not saying that I should be mad about it. 269 00:12:27,418 --> 00:12:29,209 I'm just saying, like-- 270 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,293 Okay, it's like if my favorite food is shrimp, 271 00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,002 so a waiter brings me shrimp. 272 00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,418 But I can't eat shrimp because it makes my tongue swell up, 273 00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:36,626 so I don't eat the shrimp. 274 00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:40,043 But that doesn't mean that I want Andrea grabbing shrimp off my plate 275 00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,793 and giving it a massage. 276 00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:45,376 Well, on the bright side, you don't have to keep pushing Brad away now. 277 00:12:45,877 --> 00:12:47,334 You think? 278 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,626 Yeah. I mean, in a way 279 00:12:49,626 --> 00:12:53,251 she was kind of protecting you by being a slimy tramp. 280 00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,293 You know, you're right. 281 00:12:56,293 --> 00:13:00,293 You're right. She's actually doing me a favor by being a slimy tramp. 282 00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:01,501 Yeah. 283 00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,334 And if I didn't have a boyfriend back home, 284 00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:05,043 I'd hit that so fast for you. 285 00:13:05,626 --> 00:13:06,960 - Thank you. - Sure. 286 00:13:07,585 --> 00:13:09,668 [HUMMING] 287 00:13:09,668 --> 00:13:11,002 Ooh. 288 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,543 Amateur. 289 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,501 SAMANTHA: See, this is exactly what I wanted. 290 00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:01,918 Just sitting by the fire, together. 291 00:14:01,918 --> 00:14:03,501 Not being murdered. 292 00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,251 It can't get any better than that. 293 00:14:05,835 --> 00:14:07,668 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 294 00:14:08,002 --> 00:14:10,168 - Hey. - What's going on? 295 00:14:10,168 --> 00:14:12,043 Oh, nothing. 296 00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,710 What's going on with you? 297 00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:17,002 I just took a walk in the woods. 298 00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:20,251 Oh, the air out here. I really think it makes me prettier. 299 00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:23,334 Wow, you've got a lot of leaves in your hair. 300 00:14:23,334 --> 00:14:26,793 Oh, I was chasing this raccoon and he went through the branches 301 00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,418 and then I-- Ow! 302 00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,501 - Oh, sorry, just was-- HOWARD: Hey, look. 303 00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:32,585 - Everybody's here. - Yeah, lookie, lookie. 304 00:14:32,585 --> 00:14:34,418 SAMANTHA: Yeah, just a bunch of friends 305 00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:38,043 hanging out together and sitting by the fire. 306 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,376 So who wants to play charades? 307 00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,209 Howard, you are not playing charades. All that jumping around. 308 00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:46,084 No, it will be like playing Russian roulette. 309 00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:49,376 We'll play that game where you get to guess what people are-- 310 00:14:49,376 --> 00:14:52,334 Guess what you're thinking without saying any words. 311 00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,960 - You mean charades? - Shh. 312 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,501 I said, no words. 313 00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:56,793 Are you drunk? 314 00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:58,501 - Are you? - Yes. 315 00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:00,585 Okay, Dena, why don't you start us off? 316 00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,251 DENA: Oh, okay. 317 00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:04,835 Here we go. All right. 318 00:15:06,334 --> 00:15:07,752 Ice-cream maker. 319 00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,251 It's a movie, Regina. 320 00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:11,918 Three words. 321 00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:14,626 Ice-cream maker. 322 00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:16,793 Three words, do not take me on. 323 00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,126 Did you steal my booze? 324 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,960 Oh, come on. No one's stealing anything. 325 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,835 - Except maybe boyfriends, huh? - What? 326 00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,418 I'm doing The Breakfast Club here. 327 00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:28,002 You talked. You talked. Come on, my turn. 328 00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:29,668 DENA: Apparently, you play advanced rules. 329 00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:33,918 - Okay, I'm gonna make this one easy. - Oh, easy? Easy? I got it: Andrea. 330 00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,835 [SAMANTHA LAUGHS] 331 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,626 Hello? 332 00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,002 It's a movie. Four words. 333 00:15:40,002 --> 00:15:41,918 DENA: Oh, first word. 334 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,668 - Worm? SAMANTHA: Slimy? 335 00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:46,752 Lawyer? 336 00:15:46,752 --> 00:15:48,002 Jerk? 337 00:15:48,002 --> 00:15:49,752 Backstabber? 338 00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:52,418 - Forrest tramp? - Gump. Gump. Forrest Gump. 339 00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,251 Okay, what is your problem? 340 00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:55,752 SAMANTHA: You know what my problem is? 341 00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:57,752 Is that I saw you in the woods with Brad. 342 00:15:57,752 --> 00:16:00,501 And don't say that you weren't there because Dena saw it too. 343 00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,043 And she was pissed. 344 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,835 Caddyshack. 345 00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:06,960 Oh, Ghostbusters. 346 00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,585 You said you didn't even want him. 347 00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:11,293 Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I wanted you to have him. 348 00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:14,710 Well, then, you're in luck because I didn't do anything with him. He likes you. 349 00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,543 - Really? - Okay, new movie. 350 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:20,418 - First word is "the." - Then explain all the leaves in your hair. 351 00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:23,376 I told you. I was chasing Mr. Raccoon. 352 00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,918 He had the perfect fur for the trim on my vest. 353 00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:30,168 The French Connection. No, The Sting. 354 00:16:30,168 --> 00:16:32,293 Look, I don't want him. I'm not with him. 355 00:16:32,293 --> 00:16:34,960 You take him. Go get him. I don't care. 356 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,752 But that's the thing I can't go for it, because I do care. 357 00:16:37,752 --> 00:16:39,126 That's my problem. 358 00:16:39,126 --> 00:16:43,126 I'm not like you, you know. I can't just throw myself in and have fun 359 00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,460 and get leaves all in my hair and just walk away. 360 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,585 It's not fair. I wanna be like you. 361 00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:49,585 I wanna be dead inside. 362 00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:50,835 I just wanna be dead. 363 00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:53,209 REGINA: The Dead Zone! DENA: Sam, don't do it. 364 00:16:53,209 --> 00:16:54,710 You have so much to live for. 365 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:57,793 - Fisher King. - Yes. 366 00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:05,418 Just-- Can you please just give me back my shoelaces? 367 00:17:05,418 --> 00:17:08,501 Not until I know how you're feeling. 368 00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:11,334 Okay, that's the problem, all right? I'm feeling. 369 00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,501 I am feeling constantly. 370 00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:18,418 I am like a robot who's been programmed to do nothing else. 371 00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:21,710 Which is totally stupid because if you're gonna take the time to make a robot 372 00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,918 it should at least, like, be able to walk around the room and pick up stuff. 373 00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,918 Please stop saying that you're a robot. 374 00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:28,668 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 375 00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:31,002 Hey, Dena, can I talk to Sam? 376 00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,376 Okay, but don't listen to her. She has tricks to make you crazy. 377 00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:37,460 Okay. 378 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:41,334 - Can I sit? - Yeah. 379 00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:46,334 You gonna use that as some sort of teaching tool? 380 00:17:46,334 --> 00:17:48,251 What, this? Yeah. 381 00:17:48,251 --> 00:17:51,668 You see, inside are the seeds of something new. 382 00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:53,668 And then 383 00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:56,168 they're protected by this big-- 384 00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,002 No, I just picked it up outside. 385 00:17:58,002 --> 00:17:59,376 - It's pretty though, huh? - Yeah. 386 00:17:59,835 --> 00:18:01,585 Thanks, Daddy. 387 00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:06,710 I was just remembering all the summers that we came up here. 388 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,334 Every year, you'd get into a big fight with whatever girlfriend you brought along, 389 00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:12,168 usually over some boy. 390 00:18:12,168 --> 00:18:14,585 And at the end of the week, you'd get in a fight with him 391 00:18:14,585 --> 00:18:17,084 end up dunking him in the lake 392 00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:19,293 or beaning him with one of those. 393 00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:22,626 And then you'd cry all the way home in the car. I loved it. 394 00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:24,835 That sounds awesome. 395 00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:26,918 Well, because two hours after you got home 396 00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:29,418 you'd be fine and on to the next thing. 397 00:18:29,418 --> 00:18:32,251 You know, just living your life, you know? 398 00:18:32,251 --> 00:18:34,209 Going for it. 399 00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:37,084 Yeah, and I've seen some of that come back since the accident. 400 00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:39,251 - Really? - Mm-hm. 401 00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,084 - You gotta live, right? - Yeah. 402 00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:43,543 It's like me. 403 00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:47,960 If I listen to your mother and sat around afraid that my heart was going to explode 404 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,002 I wouldn't enjoy a thing. 405 00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:52,293 Thanks, Daddy. 406 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,002 ANDREA: Sam-- 407 00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:56,543 Hey, Andrea. 408 00:18:56,543 --> 00:18:58,501 I am so sorry I was so mean. 409 00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:02,626 - It's all good. - Good. 410 00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,960 Because I'm gonna go 411 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,418 and apologize to that there Brad. 412 00:19:07,418 --> 00:19:08,877 And who knows, 413 00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:11,168 maybe I'll just go for it. 414 00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:17,501 Bird watching. She's just going bird watching. 415 00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:18,752 Yeah. 416 00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:20,835 [DINGING] 417 00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:34,293 Don't ring my bell. 418 00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:35,918 It's my bell. 419 00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,585 Don't ring it. 420 00:19:37,585 --> 00:19:42,710 Are you still mad about last night when I was acting all silly? 421 00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:45,626 Last night? Was that the night you called me the help? 422 00:19:45,626 --> 00:19:47,126 Oh, come on. That old joke? 423 00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:52,835 Look, I'm really sorry, okay? 424 00:19:52,835 --> 00:19:56,501 I was just coming off of a really bad breakup 425 00:19:56,501 --> 00:19:59,209 which was coming off of a really bad breakup. 426 00:19:59,209 --> 00:20:02,668 And I just didn't want my heart to explode. 427 00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,752 I never planned on exploding your heart, Samantha. 428 00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:08,752 I've been thinking about you for the last 20 years. 429 00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:10,168 Oh. 430 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,126 Well, I've been thinking about you too. 431 00:20:13,376 --> 00:20:17,585 - Probably. I really don't know. Maybe. - So, what do you wanna do? 432 00:20:17,585 --> 00:20:18,752 Hm. 433 00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:23,376 Well, maybe you could show me those badgers. 434 00:20:23,376 --> 00:20:25,501 Oh. They're so cute. 435 00:20:25,501 --> 00:20:28,543 But you don't wanna get too close, though. They're really mean. 436 00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,835 Oh, you're really talking about badgers. 437 00:20:32,835 --> 00:20:35,668 Oh, well, okay, that could be fun too. 438 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,460 It's hurts. 439 00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:47,918 Oh, God. 440 00:20:47,918 --> 00:20:51,752 It hurts so bad. 441 00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,376 But it's good. 442 00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:55,710 It feels right. 443 00:20:57,668 --> 00:20:59,460 You bet it does, sweetie. 444 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:02,293 Hit the child safety locks. I don't want her throwing herself out. 445 00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:03,626 HOWARD: Okay, everybody. 446 00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:06,209 [SINGING "RHINESTONE COWBOY"] 447 00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:08,293 SAMANTHA: No matter how hard I keep landing, 448 00:21:08,293 --> 00:21:10,626 I guess I owe it to myself to fall 449 00:21:10,626 --> 00:21:13,293 because the heart wants what the heart wants. 450 00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:17,168 And apparently, mine wants a nasty bruise. 451 00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,668 [SINGING "RHINESTONE COWBOY"] 452 00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:21,835 SAMANTHA: Yee-ha. REGINA: Now go high.