1
00:00:02,376 --> 00:00:04,501
SAMANTHA:
Since breaking up with the perfect guy,
2
00:00:04,501 --> 00:00:06,501
I've discovered plenty
of imperfect ones.
3
00:00:06,501 --> 00:00:07,668
Oh, God.
4
00:00:07,668 --> 00:00:09,668
I definitely don't fall for every guy I meet.
5
00:00:11,418 --> 00:00:12,626
But when I do fall--
6
00:00:12,626 --> 00:00:13,835
Okay.
7
00:00:13,835 --> 00:00:15,501
- I'm Mike.
- Hi.
8
00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:16,752
--I fall fast.
9
00:00:23,918 --> 00:00:25,668
And I always land hard.
10
00:00:26,293 --> 00:00:28,168
Oh, it hurts.
11
00:00:28,168 --> 00:00:30,376
I just want it to stop.
12
00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:32,501
TODD:
Oh, trust me, you're not the only one.
13
00:00:32,501 --> 00:00:34,002
It's okay, sweetie.
14
00:00:34,002 --> 00:00:37,376
We're gonna get through this
like we always do.
15
00:00:37,376 --> 00:00:38,793
I think she might kill herself.
16
00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:41,334
SAMANTHA:
I'm not gonna kill myself, okay?
17
00:00:41,334 --> 00:00:44,334
I know you won't. You are strong.
18
00:00:44,334 --> 00:00:47,918
[WHISPERS] I'm gonna need belts,
shoelaces, and any of your ties.
19
00:00:47,918 --> 00:00:51,460
- I have one tie. You can't have it.
- But what if she...you know?
20
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,209
Then I'll need it for the funeral.
21
00:00:53,418 --> 00:00:55,626
What is wrong with me?
22
00:00:55,626 --> 00:00:58,126
It's like I have absolutely
no learning curve.
23
00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,126
You know, I like-- I meet a guy.
24
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:04,334
I put everything that I have
into that relationship for three weeks
25
00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:07,084
and then I just end up in a ball
on the floor.
26
00:01:07,084 --> 00:01:10,002
Too bad they didn't know you
when you gave nothing to a relationship.
27
00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:12,626
They might've stuck around
for four years.
28
00:01:12,626 --> 00:01:14,501
That's it. You know what?
29
00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:17,126
- No more men.
- Good. Take a break.
30
00:01:17,126 --> 00:01:19,168
Maybe that's it. I just need to--
31
00:01:19,168 --> 00:01:21,585
I just need to be single for a while,
you know?
32
00:01:21,585 --> 00:01:23,168
Just stand on my own.
33
00:01:23,168 --> 00:01:24,877
But not on a ledge, right?
34
00:01:25,460 --> 00:01:27,835
You know what? Just saying that,
35
00:01:27,835 --> 00:01:29,293
I feel better.
36
00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:31,418
Oh, it hurts.
37
00:01:31,418 --> 00:01:33,710
Oh, make it stop.
38
00:01:33,710 --> 00:01:36,002
Honey, I think you need to eat food.
39
00:01:36,002 --> 00:01:39,209
SAMANTHA:
God, Mike and I used to eat food.
40
00:01:39,209 --> 00:01:42,334
- What happened? She was feeling great.
- I have no idea.
41
00:01:42,334 --> 00:01:45,793
I just asked if there's something she was
doing to keep driving these men away.
42
00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:48,209
And then I guess
she thought of something really sad.
43
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:51,002
I forgot. How many pairs of underwear
do I pack for a week?
44
00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:52,334
- Nine.
- Are you sure?
45
00:01:52,334 --> 00:01:54,668
Last time I packed nine,
and it was not enough.
46
00:01:54,668 --> 00:01:56,418
- Then pack 12.
- No, that's too much.
47
00:01:56,418 --> 00:01:57,960
I was thinking more like ten or 11.
48
00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:59,668
Sam, any thoughts on this?
49
00:01:59,668 --> 00:02:01,918
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
You guys are going away?
50
00:02:02,376 --> 00:02:03,960
When were you gonna tell me this?
51
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,877
When I started to love you too much?
52
00:02:07,501 --> 00:02:10,209
I am making your father take a vacation.
53
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:13,376
His doctor said his blood pressure
is sky-high.
54
00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,376
I don't want him keeling over.
55
00:02:15,376 --> 00:02:17,501
A vacation. That's what I need.
56
00:02:17,501 --> 00:02:19,918
I need to go away.
I need to go away with my family.
57
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,710
Just get away from anything
that reminds me of Mike.
58
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,002
Well, come on along.
59
00:02:24,002 --> 00:02:26,084
We were just gonna go up
to Mike Mountain.
60
00:02:26,084 --> 00:02:28,168
[BOTH LAUGH]
61
00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:29,668
Yeah.
62
00:02:29,668 --> 00:02:32,710
Stop. No, that's a good idea.
We'll make it a family vacation.
63
00:02:32,710 --> 00:02:35,626
Well, I'm game. We're going up to
that resort on Lake Wopahowie
64
00:02:35,626 --> 00:02:38,126
that we used to go to every year.
You loved that place.
65
00:02:38,126 --> 00:02:39,543
Oh, the lake resort.
66
00:02:39,543 --> 00:02:42,209
- Yeah, that was fun.
REGINA: Really?
67
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:44,918
- You remember the lake resort?
- No, no.
68
00:02:44,918 --> 00:02:46,835
But sometimes that just works.
69
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,793
Really? Your mom wants me to come?
70
00:02:49,793 --> 00:02:52,002
Yeah, well, I mean,
she said I could bring one friend.
71
00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:53,626
Just not Andrea. So, yeah.
72
00:02:53,626 --> 00:02:57,418
I always wanted to go with you as a kid,
but my mom was always sick.
73
00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,501
But now she's dead. Yay!
74
00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,002
- That didn't come out right.
- No.
75
00:03:02,002 --> 00:03:05,168
But listen, please, please, please,
don't say anything to Andrea, okay?
76
00:03:05,168 --> 00:03:08,585
I need to handle this very delicately, so zip.
77
00:03:08,585 --> 00:03:10,460
DENA:
Mm-hm.
78
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:15,334
I love these giant mugs.
They make my hands look extra teeny.
79
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:17,460
- Sam and I are going away.
- Dena.
80
00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:20,418
What is she talking about? Where
are you going with her and not me?
81
00:03:20,418 --> 00:03:22,877
- Nowhere that you would wanna go.
- How do you know that?
82
00:03:22,877 --> 00:03:25,168
- On vacation with my parents.
- Oh, ew.
83
00:03:25,168 --> 00:03:26,918
- See?
- Well, it doesn't mean
84
00:03:26,918 --> 00:03:29,668
- I wouldn't have liked to have been asked.
- I know. I'm sorry.
85
00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:33,209
Andrea, would you like to come
on vacation with me and my family
86
00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:35,501
even though it is 200 miles in a car
87
00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:38,293
with my dad singing
"Rhinestone Cowboy"?
88
00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:39,668
Thank you.
89
00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:41,126
Yes, I'd love to go.
90
00:03:41,126 --> 00:03:43,668
- What? No fair.
- Okay, shh.
91
00:03:43,668 --> 00:03:47,877
Listen, my mom said I can only bring
one person and I already asked Dena.
92
00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:49,376
And her mom's finally dead.
93
00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:51,543
- Lucky.
- Yeah.
94
00:04:02,209 --> 00:04:05,002
Dad, thanks so much for stopping,
but you know what?
95
00:04:05,002 --> 00:04:07,334
I don't think I can go here
so I'll just hold it.
96
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,752
Well, this is where we're staying.
97
00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:11,209
Oh.
98
00:04:13,293 --> 00:04:15,084
I guess I'll be holding it for a week.
99
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:17,752
HOWARD:
Wow, they sure fixed up the place.
100
00:04:19,043 --> 00:04:21,376
I know I'm a guest
and I shouldn't be nitpicky,
101
00:04:21,376 --> 00:04:24,209
but we're going to be murdered here.
102
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,002
All right, girls. No complaining.
103
00:04:27,002 --> 00:04:29,043
That man's life
depends on this vacation
104
00:04:29,043 --> 00:04:32,626
and we're all going to enjoy ourselves
no matter how much drinking I have to do.
105
00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:36,418
You're right. I don't care
what it looks like or smells like.
106
00:04:36,418 --> 00:04:38,002
I'm out of the city,
107
00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:39,793
and away from men and heartbreak
108
00:04:39,793 --> 00:04:41,376
- and I like it.
BRAD: Sam?
109
00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:43,334
Oh, my God.
110
00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:45,501
I can't believe you came back.
111
00:04:46,168 --> 00:04:49,043
- Oh, no. He sounds cute.
- Yeah.
112
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:55,585
Damn it.
113
00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:11,209
So, Brad, you running the place now?
114
00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:13,002
Yeah, since my dad died.
115
00:05:13,002 --> 00:05:15,835
Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
He was such a nice man.
116
00:05:15,835 --> 00:05:17,460
Did they ever catch his killer?
117
00:05:18,835 --> 00:05:20,168
[DENA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
118
00:05:20,752 --> 00:05:22,209
Wow, look at you, Sam.
119
00:05:22,209 --> 00:05:24,168
And you,
120
00:05:24,168 --> 00:05:25,793
friendly innkeeper.
121
00:05:25,793 --> 00:05:27,084
[LAUGHS]
122
00:05:27,084 --> 00:05:28,960
Samantha, it's Brad.
123
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,168
Little Brad.
124
00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:32,877
Oh, good Lord, he was your first love.
125
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:37,084
- Of course he was.
- What do you mean, first love?
126
00:05:37,084 --> 00:05:41,334
Howard, that last summer, she showed up
late for every meal with leaves in her hair.
127
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:43,501
- What did you think she was doing?
- Bird watching.
128
00:05:43,501 --> 00:05:46,084
She said she was bird watching
and that's what she was doing.
129
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,877
- Now I'm gonna go unpack the car.
- No heavy lifting.
130
00:05:49,334 --> 00:05:52,293
I swear, you die up here,
I'll bury you right where you drop.
131
00:05:52,293 --> 00:05:54,460
There aren't a lot of birds here
in the winter,
132
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,835
but there's a family of badgers
we can watch.
133
00:05:57,752 --> 00:05:59,626
Look, I'm sorry.
134
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:03,918
I'm sure it all that bird stuff
was a lot of fun and everything,
135
00:06:03,918 --> 00:06:05,002
but I have amnesia.
136
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,835
- I have the bubonic plague.
- Hm.
137
00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:13,835
No, I don't. No. This is-- We--
138
00:06:13,835 --> 00:06:16,585
Remember that game where you'd say
something that started with A
139
00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:18,543
and I would name one
that started with a B?
140
00:06:18,543 --> 00:06:19,918
No.
141
00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:23,960
Wow. Amnesia. Oh, I'm sorry.
142
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,293
Oh, no, no, no. It's okay.
143
00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:30,251
It's sort of like having a surprise party
every single day.
144
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,835
Like finding out about us.
145
00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:33,626
- Surprise.
- Okay.
146
00:06:34,168 --> 00:06:36,960
Here are your room keys. Just settle in.
147
00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:40,002
And if you need anything,
don't be afraid to ask.
148
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:42,835
Well, then, how about a dirty martini,
three olives?
149
00:06:42,835 --> 00:06:44,334
How's that for getting settled in?
150
00:06:45,002 --> 00:06:47,334
Yes, we no longer serve alcohol.
151
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:48,835
The liquor license got too expensive.
152
00:06:50,293 --> 00:06:52,877
Surprise.
153
00:06:54,668 --> 00:06:57,376
- So he was my first kiss, huh?
- Yeah.
154
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,960
You'd come back from your week
and tell me all about it
155
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,585
and I'd remember every single detail
156
00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:03,752
because I used to write about it
in my diary.
157
00:07:03,752 --> 00:07:05,835
Except I'd use my name
instead of yours.
158
00:07:05,835 --> 00:07:07,585
Well, why didn't you warn me
about that?
159
00:07:07,585 --> 00:07:09,168
I didn't think he'd still be here.
160
00:07:09,168 --> 00:07:12,334
I mean, what grown adult
lives in the same house they grew up in
161
00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,668
and never leaves?
162
00:07:13,668 --> 00:07:15,668
- You.
- Oh, that's true.
163
00:07:16,835 --> 00:07:18,460
Andrea?
164
00:07:19,168 --> 00:07:21,752
Oh, my God, hey.
165
00:07:22,126 --> 00:07:23,793
You guys come here too?
166
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:26,084
How crazy is that?
167
00:07:26,084 --> 00:07:27,543
Well, crazy is one way to put it.
168
00:07:27,543 --> 00:07:29,752
No, I come here all the time.
169
00:07:29,752 --> 00:07:32,626
I love it. It has mice.
170
00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,918
SAMANTHA: Hm.
ANDREA: Ew.
171
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,460
Hey, did you see the guy
who runs this place?
172
00:07:41,460 --> 00:07:43,334
You know,
normally I do not go for hill people,
173
00:07:43,543 --> 00:07:45,043
but he was hot.
174
00:07:45,043 --> 00:07:48,002
That's Brad.
He and Sam used to hook up.
175
00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,460
Long ago when we were kids.
176
00:07:50,460 --> 00:07:52,168
And just with this part.
177
00:07:52,168 --> 00:07:54,168
Well, it's time to use the other parts.
178
00:07:54,168 --> 00:07:56,460
No, it is time to do nothing with nobody.
179
00:07:56,460 --> 00:08:00,002
And he is exactly the nobody
I'm going to do nothing with.
180
00:08:00,002 --> 00:08:02,460
Because he is cute
and we have a history
181
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:04,668
and I am a sucker for that.
182
00:08:04,668 --> 00:08:07,084
So keep him away from me
or else he'll rip my heart out.
183
00:08:07,084 --> 00:08:08,585
If not him, someone will.
184
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:13,002
I put your father down for a nap.
Can I--?
185
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:17,501
- What the hell are you doing here?
- I can be here, it's a free country.
186
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,002
Oh, you can't just invite yourse--
187
00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:20,209
Oh, wait.
188
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:22,460
You brought alcohol.
You always have alcohol.
189
00:08:22,460 --> 00:08:23,918
Do I?
190
00:08:23,918 --> 00:08:25,835
Oh, it's hard to say.
191
00:08:29,084 --> 00:08:31,460
Come on, Andrea. Have a-- Andrea.
192
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:33,251
Have a heart.
193
00:08:33,251 --> 00:08:35,334
My husband's dying.
194
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,793
Oh, where'd you find this?
195
00:08:36,793 --> 00:08:38,460
Oh, I was poking around,
196
00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:41,793
looking for a secret soundproof basement
with a drain in the floor
197
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:43,501
and I found fun games.
198
00:08:43,501 --> 00:08:45,043
Cool.
199
00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:49,334
Except we only have two E's, an A,
200
00:08:49,334 --> 00:08:51,877
and a curiously strong
breath mint with a Z on it.
201
00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:54,002
BRAD: Hey.
- Ew. I'm not sure I wanna touch that.
202
00:08:54,002 --> 00:08:55,543
Mind if I join you?
203
00:08:55,543 --> 00:08:58,209
Oh, no. You can.
204
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,293
Great.
205
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,043
Would you like a mint?
206
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,835
[SIGHS]
207
00:09:17,835 --> 00:09:20,376
- Hey, Sam.
- Oh, hey, dude. What's up?
208
00:09:20,376 --> 00:09:23,293
What's going on?
I sort of get the feeling you're avoiding me.
209
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:26,460
Avoiding you? No.
Oh, actually I was looking for you.
210
00:09:26,460 --> 00:09:29,293
I was. That's why I ran out here.
211
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:31,835
You work here,
so, what would you recommend?
212
00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:33,334
Because I'm like, ooh, starving.
213
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,918
I've been wanting
to show you something.
214
00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:38,793
There's only one bag of those chips
and I'm gonna stay here
215
00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,585
just to make sure
that no one else gets it.
216
00:09:40,877 --> 00:09:43,543
Come on. It'll take two seconds.
Come on.
217
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:46,334
- Okay.
- Come on, it's right here.
218
00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:52,293
- Come on.
- What, you want to play tetherball?
219
00:09:52,293 --> 00:09:53,752
Look.
220
00:09:53,752 --> 00:09:55,918
SAMANTHA:
Oh, my God.
221
00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,334
Look at that.
222
00:10:01,126 --> 00:10:03,293
My hand was so small.
223
00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:05,168
We did it
224
00:10:05,168 --> 00:10:07,460
so they would always be one handprint
225
00:10:08,168 --> 00:10:09,793
together.
226
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:12,209
Look we made a heart.
227
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,543
Yeah.
228
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,251
I know why this place is falling apart.
229
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,460
Because the help's spending
so much time hitting on the guests.
230
00:10:29,460 --> 00:10:33,126
That's what-- Yeah, maybe
just a few more fresh towels,
231
00:10:33,126 --> 00:10:35,585
a little less "fresh" behavior, you know?
232
00:10:35,585 --> 00:10:37,543
- What?
- Yeah, you heard me.
233
00:10:39,168 --> 00:10:43,626
HOWARD: Fifty-eight, 59, 60, 61--
- Hi, sweetie.
234
00:10:43,626 --> 00:10:45,710
Hey, where have you been?
235
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,626
How come you didn't ask me to go
on your walk?
236
00:10:47,626 --> 00:10:49,418
Because you're
supposed to be relaxing.
237
00:10:49,418 --> 00:10:51,334
Well, I hate relaxing.
238
00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:56,168
I can't rock any more.
I've already rocked 4,208 times.
239
00:10:56,168 --> 00:10:58,418
And there's 61 trees in that direction.
240
00:10:59,168 --> 00:11:03,168
Always have to be busy.
Always have to have a hobby.
241
00:11:03,668 --> 00:11:05,543
Remember when I got you
that wine-making kit?
242
00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:08,251
- Yeah, I wasn't very good at that.
- Yes, you were.
243
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,168
It had a nice oaky finish.
244
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:12,710
Well, I don't know how.
I made it in a plastic garbage can.
245
00:11:13,168 --> 00:11:17,835
Well, the point is, what can you tell me
about fermenting these berries?
246
00:11:18,835 --> 00:11:21,168
Well, one,
they would probably poison you
247
00:11:21,168 --> 00:11:23,043
and, two, it would take three months.
248
00:11:23,877 --> 00:11:25,626
Shoot.
249
00:11:25,626 --> 00:11:29,002
You know, everyone talks about
what the Donner Party ate all winter.
250
00:11:29,002 --> 00:11:31,626
No one ever asks what they drank.
251
00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:37,334
I don't know how you resisted Brad,
with the handprints and the moonlight,
252
00:11:37,334 --> 00:11:40,501
and the look in his eye
which could be love or could be crazy.
253
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,334
But either way, it's attention.
254
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:45,877
No, I know I felt bad about being harsh,
but I had to act fast.
255
00:11:45,877 --> 00:11:48,043
You know, I felt like a trapped wolf
256
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:51,043
who had to chew off my leg
before I kissed him.
257
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,752
And who wants to kiss a girl
with a wolf leg in her mouth?
258
00:11:53,752 --> 00:11:55,418
ANDREA:
Well...
259
00:11:57,585 --> 00:11:59,835
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Come on. Shh.
260
00:12:05,002 --> 00:12:07,793
It looks like you chewed off
the wrong girl's leg.
261
00:12:07,793 --> 00:12:10,293
- Mm-hm.
- Oh.
262
00:12:12,168 --> 00:12:14,002
She is supposed to be my friend.
263
00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:15,418
And how could she do this?
264
00:12:15,418 --> 00:12:17,334
You did say you didn't want Brad.
265
00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:19,710
No, I didn't.
I said I didn't want to want him.
266
00:12:19,710 --> 00:12:21,460
That doesn't mean
that I don't want him.
267
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:24,585
- Which I don't.
- Well, I can't believe she got confused.
268
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:27,418
Oh, God. I'm not saying
that I should be mad about it.
269
00:12:27,418 --> 00:12:29,209
I'm just saying, like--
270
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,293
Okay,
it's like if my favorite food is shrimp,
271
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:33,002
so a waiter brings me shrimp.
272
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:35,418
But I can't eat shrimp
because it makes my tongue swell up,
273
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:36,626
so I don't eat the shrimp.
274
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:40,043
But that doesn't mean that I want Andrea
grabbing shrimp off my plate
275
00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,793
and giving it a massage.
276
00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:45,376
Well, on the bright side, you don't have to
keep pushing Brad away now.
277
00:12:45,877 --> 00:12:47,334
You think?
278
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,626
Yeah. I mean, in a way
279
00:12:49,626 --> 00:12:53,251
she was kind of protecting you
by being a slimy tramp.
280
00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,293
You know, you're right.
281
00:12:56,293 --> 00:13:00,293
You're right. She's actually doing me
a favor by being a slimy tramp.
282
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:01,501
Yeah.
283
00:13:01,501 --> 00:13:03,334
And if I didn't have a boyfriend
back home,
284
00:13:03,334 --> 00:13:05,043
I'd hit that so fast for you.
285
00:13:05,626 --> 00:13:06,960
- Thank you.
- Sure.
286
00:13:07,585 --> 00:13:09,668
[HUMMING]
287
00:13:09,668 --> 00:13:11,002
Ooh.
288
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:55,543
Amateur.
289
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:59,501
SAMANTHA:
See, this is exactly what I wanted.
290
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:01,918
Just sitting by the fire, together.
291
00:14:01,918 --> 00:14:03,501
Not being murdered.
292
00:14:03,501 --> 00:14:05,251
It can't get any better than that.
293
00:14:05,835 --> 00:14:07,668
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
294
00:14:08,002 --> 00:14:10,168
- Hey.
- What's going on?
295
00:14:10,168 --> 00:14:12,043
Oh, nothing.
296
00:14:12,043 --> 00:14:13,710
What's going on with you?
297
00:14:14,918 --> 00:14:17,002
I just took a walk in the woods.
298
00:14:17,002 --> 00:14:20,251
Oh, the air out here.
I really think it makes me prettier.
299
00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:23,334
Wow, you've got
a lot of leaves in your hair.
300
00:14:23,334 --> 00:14:26,793
Oh, I was chasing this raccoon
and he went through the branches
301
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,418
and then I-- Ow!
302
00:14:28,418 --> 00:14:30,501
- Oh, sorry, just was--
HOWARD: Hey, look.
303
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:32,585
- Everybody's here.
- Yeah, lookie, lookie.
304
00:14:32,585 --> 00:14:34,418
SAMANTHA:
Yeah, just a bunch of friends
305
00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:38,043
hanging out together
and sitting by the fire.
306
00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,376
So who wants to play charades?
307
00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,209
Howard, you are not playing charades.
All that jumping around.
308
00:14:43,209 --> 00:14:46,084
No, it will be like playing
Russian roulette.
309
00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:49,376
We'll play that game where you
get to guess what people are--
310
00:14:49,376 --> 00:14:52,334
Guess what you're thinking
without saying any words.
311
00:14:52,334 --> 00:14:53,960
- You mean charades?
- Shh.
312
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,501
I said, no words.
313
00:14:55,501 --> 00:14:56,793
Are you drunk?
314
00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:58,501
- Are you?
- Yes.
315
00:14:58,501 --> 00:15:00,585
Okay, Dena, why don't you start us off?
316
00:15:00,585 --> 00:15:02,251
DENA:
Oh, okay.
317
00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:04,835
Here we go. All right.
318
00:15:06,334 --> 00:15:07,752
Ice-cream maker.
319
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,251
It's a movie, Regina.
320
00:15:10,251 --> 00:15:11,918
Three words.
321
00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:14,626
Ice-cream maker.
322
00:15:14,626 --> 00:15:16,793
Three words, do not take me on.
323
00:15:16,793 --> 00:15:18,126
Did you steal my booze?
324
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,960
Oh, come on.
No one's stealing anything.
325
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:23,835
- Except maybe boyfriends, huh?
- What?
326
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:25,418
I'm doing The Breakfast Club here.
327
00:15:25,418 --> 00:15:28,002
You talked. You talked.
Come on, my turn.
328
00:15:28,002 --> 00:15:29,668
DENA:
Apparently, you play advanced rules.
329
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:33,918
- Okay, I'm gonna make this one easy.
- Oh, easy? Easy? I got it: Andrea.
330
00:15:33,918 --> 00:15:35,835
[SAMANTHA LAUGHS]
331
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,626
Hello?
332
00:15:37,626 --> 00:15:40,002
It's a movie. Four words.
333
00:15:40,002 --> 00:15:41,918
DENA:
Oh, first word.
334
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,668
- Worm?
SAMANTHA: Slimy?
335
00:15:45,418 --> 00:15:46,752
Lawyer?
336
00:15:46,752 --> 00:15:48,002
Jerk?
337
00:15:48,002 --> 00:15:49,752
Backstabber?
338
00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:52,418
- Forrest tramp?
- Gump. Gump. Forrest Gump.
339
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,251
Okay, what is your problem?
340
00:15:54,251 --> 00:15:55,752
SAMANTHA:
You know what my problem is?
341
00:15:55,752 --> 00:15:57,752
Is that I saw you
in the woods with Brad.
342
00:15:57,752 --> 00:16:00,501
And don't say that you weren't there
because Dena saw it too.
343
00:16:00,501 --> 00:16:02,043
And she was pissed.
344
00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:04,835
Caddyshack.
345
00:16:04,835 --> 00:16:06,960
Oh, Ghostbusters.
346
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,585
You said you didn't even want him.
347
00:16:08,585 --> 00:16:11,293
Yeah, but that doesn't mean
that I wanted you to have him.
348
00:16:11,293 --> 00:16:14,710
Well, then, you're in luck because I didn't
do anything with him. He likes you.
349
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,543
- Really?
- Okay, new movie.
350
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:20,418
- First word is "the."
- Then explain all the leaves in your hair.
351
00:16:20,418 --> 00:16:23,376
I told you. I was chasing Mr. Raccoon.
352
00:16:23,376 --> 00:16:25,918
He had the perfect fur for the trim
on my vest.
353
00:16:26,334 --> 00:16:30,168
The French Connection. No, The Sting.
354
00:16:30,168 --> 00:16:32,293
Look, I don't want him. I'm not with him.
355
00:16:32,293 --> 00:16:34,960
You take him. Go get him. I don't care.
356
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,752
But that's the thing I can't go for it,
because I do care.
357
00:16:37,752 --> 00:16:39,126
That's my problem.
358
00:16:39,126 --> 00:16:43,126
I'm not like you, you know.
I can't just throw myself in and have fun
359
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:45,460
and get leaves all in my hair
and just walk away.
360
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,585
It's not fair. I wanna be like you.
361
00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:49,585
I wanna be dead inside.
362
00:16:49,585 --> 00:16:50,835
I just wanna be dead.
363
00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:53,209
REGINA: The Dead Zone!
DENA: Sam, don't do it.
364
00:16:53,209 --> 00:16:54,710
You have so much to live for.
365
00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:57,793
- Fisher King.
- Yes.
366
00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:05,418
Just-- Can you please
just give me back my shoelaces?
367
00:17:05,418 --> 00:17:08,501
Not until I know how you're feeling.
368
00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:11,334
Okay, that's the problem, all right?
I'm feeling.
369
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,501
I am feeling constantly.
370
00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:18,418
I am like a robot who's been programmed
to do nothing else.
371
00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:21,710
Which is totally stupid because if you're
gonna take the time to make a robot
372
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,918
it should at least, like, be able to
walk around the room and pick up stuff.
373
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,918
Please stop saying that you're a robot.
374
00:17:26,918 --> 00:17:28,668
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
375
00:17:28,668 --> 00:17:31,002
Hey, Dena, can I talk to Sam?
376
00:17:33,585 --> 00:17:36,376
Okay, but don't listen to her.
She has tricks to make you crazy.
377
00:17:36,376 --> 00:17:37,460
Okay.
378
00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:41,334
- Can I sit?
- Yeah.
379
00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:46,334
You gonna use that
as some sort of teaching tool?
380
00:17:46,334 --> 00:17:48,251
What, this? Yeah.
381
00:17:48,251 --> 00:17:51,668
You see, inside are the seeds
of something new.
382
00:17:52,418 --> 00:17:53,668
And then
383
00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:56,168
they're protected by this big--
384
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,002
No, I just picked it up outside.
385
00:17:58,002 --> 00:17:59,376
- It's pretty though, huh?
- Yeah.
386
00:17:59,835 --> 00:18:01,585
Thanks, Daddy.
387
00:18:02,752 --> 00:18:06,710
I was just remembering
all the summers that we came up here.
388
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,334
Every year, you'd get into a big fight
with whatever girlfriend you brought along,
389
00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:12,168
usually over some boy.
390
00:18:12,168 --> 00:18:14,585
And at the end of the week,
you'd get in a fight with him
391
00:18:14,585 --> 00:18:17,084
end up dunking him in the lake
392
00:18:17,084 --> 00:18:19,293
or beaning him with one of those.
393
00:18:19,293 --> 00:18:22,626
And then you'd cry
all the way home in the car. I loved it.
394
00:18:22,626 --> 00:18:24,835
That sounds awesome.
395
00:18:25,126 --> 00:18:26,918
Well, because two hours
after you got home
396
00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:29,418
you'd be fine and on to the next thing.
397
00:18:29,418 --> 00:18:32,251
You know, just living your life, you know?
398
00:18:32,251 --> 00:18:34,209
Going for it.
399
00:18:34,209 --> 00:18:37,084
Yeah, and I've seen some of that
come back since the accident.
400
00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:39,251
- Really?
- Mm-hm.
401
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:42,084
- You gotta live, right?
- Yeah.
402
00:18:42,084 --> 00:18:43,543
It's like me.
403
00:18:43,543 --> 00:18:47,960
If I listen to your mother and sat around
afraid that my heart was going to explode
404
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,002
I wouldn't enjoy a thing.
405
00:18:50,501 --> 00:18:52,293
Thanks, Daddy.
406
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:54,002
ANDREA:
Sam--
407
00:18:55,209 --> 00:18:56,543
Hey, Andrea.
408
00:18:56,543 --> 00:18:58,501
I am so sorry I was so mean.
409
00:18:59,793 --> 00:19:02,626
- It's all good.
- Good.
410
00:19:02,626 --> 00:19:04,960
Because I'm gonna go
411
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,418
and apologize to that there Brad.
412
00:19:07,418 --> 00:19:08,877
And who knows,
413
00:19:08,877 --> 00:19:11,168
maybe I'll just go for it.
414
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:17,501
Bird watching.
She's just going bird watching.
415
00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:18,752
Yeah.
416
00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:20,835
[DINGING]
417
00:19:32,877 --> 00:19:34,293
Don't ring my bell.
418
00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:35,918
It's my bell.
419
00:19:36,251 --> 00:19:37,585
Don't ring it.
420
00:19:37,585 --> 00:19:42,710
Are you still mad about last night
when I was acting all silly?
421
00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:45,626
Last night? Was that the night
you called me the help?
422
00:19:45,626 --> 00:19:47,126
Oh, come on. That old joke?
423
00:19:49,168 --> 00:19:52,835
Look, I'm really sorry, okay?
424
00:19:52,835 --> 00:19:56,501
I was just coming off
of a really bad breakup
425
00:19:56,501 --> 00:19:59,209
which was coming off
of a really bad breakup.
426
00:19:59,209 --> 00:20:02,668
And I just didn't want my heart
to explode.
427
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,752
I never planned on exploding your heart,
Samantha.
428
00:20:06,376 --> 00:20:08,752
I've been thinking about you
for the last 20 years.
429
00:20:08,752 --> 00:20:10,168
Oh.
430
00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:12,126
Well, I've been thinking about you too.
431
00:20:13,376 --> 00:20:17,585
- Probably. I really don't know. Maybe.
- So, what do you wanna do?
432
00:20:17,585 --> 00:20:18,752
Hm.
433
00:20:18,752 --> 00:20:23,376
Well, maybe you could show me
those badgers.
434
00:20:23,376 --> 00:20:25,501
Oh. They're so cute.
435
00:20:25,501 --> 00:20:28,543
But you don't wanna get too close, though.
They're really mean.
436
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,835
Oh, you're really talking about badgers.
437
00:20:32,835 --> 00:20:35,668
Oh, well, okay, that could be fun too.
438
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,460
It's hurts.
439
00:20:46,460 --> 00:20:47,918
Oh, God.
440
00:20:47,918 --> 00:20:51,752
It hurts so bad.
441
00:20:52,626 --> 00:20:54,376
But it's good.
442
00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:55,710
It feels right.
443
00:20:57,668 --> 00:20:59,460
You bet it does, sweetie.
444
00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:02,293
Hit the child safety locks.
I don't want her throwing herself out.
445
00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:03,626
HOWARD:
Okay, everybody.
446
00:21:03,626 --> 00:21:06,209
[SINGING "RHINESTONE COWBOY"]
447
00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:08,293
SAMANTHA:
No matter how hard I keep landing,
448
00:21:08,293 --> 00:21:10,626
I guess I owe it to myself to fall
449
00:21:10,626 --> 00:21:13,293
because the heart wants
what the heart wants.
450
00:21:13,293 --> 00:21:17,168
And apparently,
mine wants a nasty bruise.
451
00:21:17,168 --> 00:21:19,668
[SINGING "RHINESTONE COWBOY"]
452
00:21:19,668 --> 00:21:21,835
SAMANTHA: Yee-ha.
REGINA: Now go high.