1
00:00:00,363 --> 00:00:02,363
Being single is completely underrated.
2
00:00:02,523 --> 00:00:04,963
You can use up all the hot water
for long baths,
3
00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:06,403
not share the popcorn,
4
00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:09,203
and hog the remote
to flip through 500 channels.
5
00:00:09,363 --> 00:00:12,603
This is helpful if you have amnesia.
You can fill in decades of info
6
00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,163
in the time it takes
your nail polish to dry.
7
00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:17,963
Did you know that Hitler
had a mistress? What a jerk.
8
00:00:18,123 --> 00:00:19,883
- History Channel again?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:22,963
I only caught the second half,
but I think I got the gist.
10
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,123
Look at this.
11
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,683
- You can send coffee to the troops.
- Put it down.
12
00:00:27,843 --> 00:00:29,363
- Why? It's a nice thing to do.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:33,083
I thought it was a nice thing too.
I sent a pound of Sumatra Dark, a note,
14
00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:36,163
and got a note back
from Captain Randy Holt saying thank you.
15
00:00:36,323 --> 00:00:38,683
Then I, to be polite, e-mailed back,
"You're welcome."
16
00:00:38,843 --> 00:00:41,203
And then he e-mailed me back,
"What's up?"
17
00:00:41,363 --> 00:00:42,963
Now I feel I'm cheating on Chase,
18
00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:45,283
and I led him on,
and I'm a coffee tease.
19
00:00:45,683 --> 00:00:46,683
Coffee tease.
20
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,043
See, the whole store knows.
21
00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:51,803
Oh, come on. Calm down.
You are not cheating on Chase.
22
00:00:51,963 --> 00:00:55,763
All right? He's just a lonely soldier
who wants news from home.
23
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,483
You know, just keep it
to, like, small talk,
24
00:00:58,643 --> 00:00:59,643
you know, boring stuff.
25
00:00:59,803 --> 00:01:00,803
You know what,
26
00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:04,163
why don't you tell that story you told
me three times about your fridge?
27
00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:06,003
- Hey.
- Which I found thrilling.
28
00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:10,523
But I think in his day, it would be
a nice break from all the excitement.
29
00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:12,723
- Hey, Andrea.
- I'm on a date.
30
00:01:12,883 --> 00:01:15,803
You and Tony Dane are still texting?
When are you gonna meet--?
31
00:01:16,963 --> 00:01:19,083
Look, I know he's a basketball star
and everything,
32
00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:20,563
but he should take the time to--
33
00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:22,803
Okay, why are you bupping me?
34
00:01:22,963 --> 00:01:25,763
Look, it's okay. You know,
just because I'm not dating anyone
35
00:01:26,203 --> 00:01:28,563
doesn't mean that you can't talk
about your relationship.
36
00:01:28,723 --> 00:01:31,723
That's exactly what it means.
Every time you're not dating someone
37
00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,443
and I am, you do everything you can
to try and break us up.
38
00:01:34,603 --> 00:01:38,243
Oh, come on, I would never do--
Oh, and of course, I'm wrong.
39
00:01:38,523 --> 00:01:40,523
I'm gonna go to the little girls' room.
40
00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,603
I'll be right back.
41
00:01:45,603 --> 00:01:48,403
You guys make a great couple. Yeah.
42
00:01:48,563 --> 00:01:52,243
Andrea must be really happy if she's
gonna try and go off her meds again.
43
00:01:53,843 --> 00:01:55,283
You work out, huh?
44
00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:56,723
Yeah.
45
00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,203
That'll be helpful when Andrea's husband
gets out of prison.
46
00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:02,843
Seriously,
47
00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:06,363
you don't recognise her
from her "film career"?
48
00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:07,883
No?
49
00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:12,283
All right, look, I know
that that used to happen, but I am--
50
00:02:12,443 --> 00:02:14,083
- Different now. We know.
- Different now.
51
00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:16,603
Fine, whatever. I will back off.
52
00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:19,203
I just thought it would be
a nice story to tell your kids
53
00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,683
that Mommy and Daddy
actually met once.
54
00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:22,923
We're trying to meet.
55
00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:26,683
We're just very high-powered people
with very busy schedules.
56
00:02:27,443 --> 00:02:30,003
But it seems like he's the one
who's always cancelling on you--
57
00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,323
I know.
58
00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:42,843
Turn on the tube.
The game starts in five minutes.
59
00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:44,963
What channel's it on?
60
00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:47,443
Todd, it's Cameron.
I didn't hear from you.
61
00:02:47,603 --> 00:02:50,523
I just called to see
if you wanted to meet up sometime.
62
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:52,963
Cameron?
63
00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:55,123
The dancer with the legs
and the daddy issues.
64
00:02:55,283 --> 00:02:56,883
What the hell, man?
65
00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,363
I might call. I don't know.
66
00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:01,363
Man, I'd be all over that.
And that girl at the deli?
67
00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:05,043
"Take a number, here's mine."
They're like dropping from trees out there.
68
00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:07,123
What are you hanging around here for?
69
00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,043
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
70
00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:10,483
Hey.
71
00:03:13,363 --> 00:03:16,243
- Shut up.
- Todd, come on.
72
00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:18,123
What are you doing, man?
73
00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:21,243
We've been hanging out a lot lately.
You know, movies, dinners.
74
00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:23,683
Maybe it'll grow from friends
into something else.
75
00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:26,563
Todd, listen to me.
You are quickly becoming gay roommate.
76
00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:29,723
If you want it to turn into something,
you gotta make her miss you.
77
00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:33,603
- We live in the same apartment.
- Then get out. Be less available.
78
00:03:33,763 --> 00:03:35,483
All right? Sam is smart.
79
00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:38,163
Why buy the bull
when you can castrate it for free?
80
00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:39,803
Wow, that's beautiful, man.
81
00:03:39,963 --> 00:03:41,723
Hey. Hey, Seth.
82
00:03:41,883 --> 00:03:43,443
You work for Tony Dane, right?
83
00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:45,763
- Towel boy.
- Mock if you will, my friend,
84
00:03:45,923 --> 00:03:48,323
but if it weren't for me,
he'd always be wet.
85
00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,683
I don't like the way
that he is treating Andrea.
86
00:03:50,843 --> 00:03:54,123
I mean, why is he stringing her along?
Does he not like her or something?
87
00:03:54,283 --> 00:03:57,203
I mean, what, is he afraid of commitment?
Like, what's the deal?
88
00:03:57,363 --> 00:04:00,763
I'll ask him about his feelings
next time we get our nails done.
89
00:04:00,923 --> 00:04:02,483
Look, I need to talk to him, okay?
90
00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,563
- Why?
- Because I owe her.
91
00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,923
Look, I just need a way to get to him,
Sethy.
92
00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:12,563
- What, I just go in?
- This is what you wanted.
93
00:04:12,723 --> 00:04:14,003
Now, here's your press pass.
94
00:04:14,163 --> 00:04:16,523
If you get caught or captured,
I don't know you,
95
00:04:16,683 --> 00:04:19,603
because believe it or not,
it is possible for me to be demoted.
96
00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:20,963
Really?
97
00:04:21,123 --> 00:04:22,483
Okay.
98
00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,963
Good game. Good game.
Way to play. Way to play.
99
00:04:27,123 --> 00:04:28,563
- Hey.
- Oh, I'm sorry about that.
100
00:04:28,723 --> 00:04:30,003
That's a whole lot of naked.
101
00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:32,923
How did you give up 12 unanswered
points in the fourth quarter?
102
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,163
We come to play every night.
103
00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:36,563
Anyone in this league can beat you
any night of the week,
104
00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:39,763
so you gotta rely on your teammates.
Any more questions?
105
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,803
Why do you keep cancelling
on Andrea Belladonna?
106
00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:44,243
What paper are you with?
107
00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:46,643
I happen to be with...
108
00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:49,523
...Heinie Magazine.
109
00:04:49,963 --> 00:04:51,483
Anyway, why do you keep cancelling
on her?
110
00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:55,603
What, are you a commitment-phobe,
or just a big fat liar? Which is it?
111
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,403
I'm not cancelling on her.
She's cancelling on me.
112
00:04:58,563 --> 00:05:00,563
Really? That's weird.
113
00:05:04,723 --> 00:05:06,083
Hey, Andrea.
114
00:05:06,243 --> 00:05:09,683
- What did you do?
- Me? Nothing. This and that.
115
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,283
- You?
- Oh, me?
116
00:05:11,443 --> 00:05:13,883
Me? I got a text message
from Tony Dane.
117
00:05:14,363 --> 00:05:17,043
Said, "Some crazy blond
came into my locker room
118
00:05:17,203 --> 00:05:19,443
and accused me
of always cancelling on you."
119
00:05:20,323 --> 00:05:23,203
That Paris Hilton.
God, she's everywhere.
120
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:26,883
You just had to get involved, didn't you?
I told you to leave it alone.
121
00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:29,763
You know what? You also told me
that he was cancelling on you.
122
00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:32,283
So you know what? You lied to me,
and that's one of the sins.
123
00:05:32,443 --> 00:05:34,803
- Don't even.
- Why don't you wanna see him?
124
00:05:34,963 --> 00:05:37,083
Because. Because it is perfect.
125
00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,963
We text each other all the time.
We share things.
126
00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:41,203
We never fight.
127
00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:44,883
It is the best relationship I have ever had,
and you just destroyed it.
128
00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:49,843
- Guess you managed to hear all that.
- Some.
129
00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:51,443
Mostly I was writing a poem.
130
00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,923
Excuse me. Excuse me.
131
00:06:04,483 --> 00:06:07,283
Hey. I am completely afraid
that a bug
132
00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,843
is gonna crawl
down my throat when I'm asleep.
133
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,083
I saw that
on the Discovery Channel last night.
134
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,363
When did you start thinking
that your life needed a narrator?
135
00:06:15,523 --> 00:06:17,963
Everyone is afraid of something,
all right?
136
00:06:18,123 --> 00:06:19,563
Go out with Tony.
137
00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:22,483
You need more
than a text relationship, Andrea.
138
00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,163
You deserve that, and Tony likes you.
139
00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:28,403
No, no. He likes the stuff
my phone says I say.
140
00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:29,963
Okay? I mean,
141
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,803
I can be this perfect person,
and I plan every word,
142
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:35,203
and I could spell-check myself.
143
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,483
What if I meet him and every word
that just comes out of my mouth
144
00:06:38,643 --> 00:06:40,723
is just misspelled?
145
00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:43,523
If that's what you're worried about,
I'll go with you.
146
00:06:44,243 --> 00:06:47,523
I'll bring Todd. We can be like
the Ricardos and the Mertzes,
147
00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:50,563
the Flintstones and the Rubbles.
I've been watching way too much TV.
148
00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:52,243
Yes.
149
00:06:53,763 --> 00:06:55,523
Mr. Newly, hi. I have a situation.
150
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:59,203
I've been writing to a soldier in Iraq,
and I may have mentioned in a letter
151
00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,523
that my refrigerator's broken.
152
00:07:00,683 --> 00:07:02,083
Today, this one showed up,
153
00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:06,163
and if my real boyfriend, Chase, sees it
at my place, he'll know I'm cheating.
154
00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:09,923
Regina, it's for you.
155
00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:14,603
Hey, Todd,
will you please bring me my purse?
156
00:07:20,883 --> 00:07:22,323
Hey. Is the man of the house at home?
157
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,363
- I was getting this for Samantha.
- Yeah, that's better.
158
00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:29,763
Before I forget, we are going out
with Andrea tomorrow night, okay?
159
00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,283
Hey, Seth.
160
00:07:33,163 --> 00:07:34,603
No.
161
00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:37,523
- No?
- No.
162
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:39,083
Not available.
163
00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:40,603
Not even gonna say why.
164
00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:42,323
Okay, well,
165
00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:45,243
I just thought you might wanna
hang out with Tony Dane,
166
00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,483
but I guess I was wrong.
167
00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,803
- Okay! Okay!
- Eight o'clock.
168
00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:02,003
This is you playing hard to get?
So far I've only seen "get."
169
00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:03,603
I'm hanging out with Tony Dane.
170
00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,083
I can still ignore Sam.
In fact, she can see me ignore her.
171
00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:07,603
It'll drive her nuts. Up high.
172
00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:10,283
- Gay roommate.
- Shut it.
173
00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:13,483
This is in Farsi.
174
00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:15,443
I should've stopped
writing Captain Randy.
175
00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:16,763
Sam said it was okay,
176
00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:19,683
but now the poor guy
is sending me major appliances.
177
00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:21,603
I mean, I have to get out of this.
178
00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:24,683
It's tearing me apart.
I can't keep living two lives.
179
00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:27,363
Honey, I don't think you're living one.
180
00:08:27,843 --> 00:08:29,403
You gotta break up with this guy.
181
00:08:29,563 --> 00:08:33,203
I can't break up with a soldier. I have
a "Support the Troops" sticker on my car.
182
00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:34,523
Then let me do it, please.
183
00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:37,523
I haven't broken up with anyone
for so long, it'll make me feel a teenager.
184
00:08:37,923 --> 00:08:39,523
No, it's my responsibility.
185
00:08:39,683 --> 00:08:42,483
I'm just gonna go and do it now.
186
00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:45,043
Fine, leave, but don't come back.
187
00:08:46,363 --> 00:08:47,363
Excuse me?
188
00:08:47,523 --> 00:08:48,803
No.
189
00:08:49,323 --> 00:08:50,843
Please. Don't--
190
00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:53,683
Don't make this
any harder than it needs to be.
191
00:08:54,163 --> 00:08:57,923
We had our chance,
but our chance came and went.
192
00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,483
People change.
193
00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:01,283
So just--
194
00:09:01,603 --> 00:09:03,363
Just walk away,
195
00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:06,483
and always remember
the times that we had.
196
00:09:13,923 --> 00:09:16,043
You are so hired.
197
00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:23,123
Hello? Thirsty.
198
00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:24,323
My drink?
199
00:09:24,483 --> 00:09:26,443
You know, I forgot you were there.
200
00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:28,803
You know what? I should go.
201
00:09:28,963 --> 00:09:31,243
Yeah, I have a big tort complaint
to prepare for,
202
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:33,883
and you don't know what that is,
so you can't say I'm lying.
203
00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:35,683
- Here he comes.
- Yeah.
204
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,723
- Hey, Tony!
- See, he hates me.
205
00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:41,483
He doesn't. Now just breathe, okay?
206
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,523
Andrea?
207
00:09:46,203 --> 00:09:47,763
It was definitely worth the wait.
208
00:09:48,883 --> 00:09:50,603
Hi-lo.
209
00:09:50,763 --> 00:09:54,083
I meant to say hi,
and then I thought hello,
210
00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:56,603
and it came out like hi-lo.
211
00:09:58,163 --> 00:09:59,283
Let me start again.
212
00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:01,563
Hi-lo.
213
00:10:04,163 --> 00:10:06,523
Now, Philly,
that's a tough town to play in.
214
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,203
Are you two together, or what?
215
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,963
- No, I'm alone. Lone wolf.
- Used to be.
216
00:10:12,123 --> 00:10:13,523
I don't even know her.
217
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,363
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
218
00:10:17,523 --> 00:10:19,043
Yeah.
219
00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,723
Excuse me.
220
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,963
- Gay?
- Trust me.
221
00:10:44,123 --> 00:10:46,563
Yeah, well, he wasn't before he went.
222
00:10:46,723 --> 00:10:49,443
He took the urinal right next to me,
and then there was a look.
223
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,083
- How does that make him gay?
- There was a nod.
224
00:10:52,243 --> 00:10:53,923
Okay, a look and a nod, that's it?
225
00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,923
And a smile.
There was a look, a nod and a smile.
226
00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,643
- Only thing missing was ice skates.
- Ice skates?
227
00:10:58,803 --> 00:11:00,283
Figure skaters are gay, right?
228
00:11:00,443 --> 00:11:02,163
I don't know. This is not my scene.
229
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:04,083
Sam. Sam. Come here.
230
00:11:04,523 --> 00:11:06,723
Do not say anything, all right?
This is going really well,
231
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:10,163
and I'm not gonna let anything screw it up.
Okay?
232
00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:13,363
- Yeah?
- Tony said the most amazing thing.
233
00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,843
- Go ahead. Say it again.
- I just said I liked her shoes.
234
00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,403
No. No. No.
235
00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:19,883
He said he liked
my vintage Lacroix shoes.
236
00:11:20,043 --> 00:11:22,643
I mean, really, what kind of man
notices something like that?
237
00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:25,043
Sam, thoughts?
238
00:11:31,163 --> 00:11:33,843
I mean, look at her. She likes him.
239
00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:35,923
Maybe she can change him.
It's possible.
240
00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,443
They have camps for that.
I saw it on the Bible channel.
241
00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,083
- Just tell her.
- Tell her what?
242
00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,643
That she's in love with a gay man?
I can't tell her that.
243
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,203
She's just gonna think
that I'm sabotaging her relationship.
244
00:11:45,363 --> 00:11:47,363
- So don't tell her.
- She's in love with a gay man.
245
00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,843
How can I not tell her?
She's gonna get hurt.
246
00:11:50,003 --> 00:11:52,243
Wait a minute, you're right. You're right.
247
00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:54,003
I don't tell her. I show her.
248
00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:57,003
If she sees it for herself
then she can't be mad at me, right?
249
00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:59,123
Thank you so much.
You're such a good friend.
250
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,123
Wait, friend?
No, no, no. I'm not your--
251
00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:04,283
Damn it.
252
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:08,643
Like it?
253
00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:12,403
Hey, look at me, I'm a break-up artist.
Nice stove.
254
00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:14,083
I'm sorry.
255
00:12:14,243 --> 00:12:17,323
He told me how hard it was for him there,
and I wanted to relate,
256
00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,603
so I told him the light on my stove
kept going out.
257
00:12:19,763 --> 00:12:21,883
You were supposed to be
helping me out of this.
258
00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:23,443
I couldn't do it. He needs me.
259
00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:26,083
I might be the only thing
keeping him alive at night.
260
00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:28,763
- Who are you keeping alive at night?
- My soldier.
261
00:12:28,923 --> 00:12:30,283
Oh, I'll break up with him.
262
00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:34,603
I fire people all the time, no problem,
but nobody buys my wife a stove.
263
00:12:34,763 --> 00:12:37,683
- Including you.
- Damn right.
264
00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:39,763
Look at it.
265
00:12:39,923 --> 00:12:41,683
You begged for it. Look at it.
266
00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:45,483
Tony, you know, Todd and I were
talking this morning
267
00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:48,083
about what our favourite characters
on Sex and the City were,
268
00:12:48,243 --> 00:12:51,203
and I was just curious what yours was.
269
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:54,083
You know,
I've never seen Sex and the City.
270
00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:56,883
It's okay.
271
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,963
Let's put on some music, all right?
272
00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:01,723
Tony, you can pick,
because you're the guest.
273
00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:06,483
We have Foo Fighters, Metallica,
274
00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:08,283
Mamma Mia.
275
00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:11,443
Hey, what's your favourite musical,
Tony?
276
00:13:11,763 --> 00:13:13,843
I'm really not into musicals.
277
00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,723
Oh, really, so you're gonna play it
that way, huh?
278
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,763
Andrea, I need to get some more wine.
Will you help me open up a bottle?
279
00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,603
Okay, good.
280
00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,683
Guys, have fun.
281
00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:27,683
I like him.
282
00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:31,843
- Oh, me too. You know, I think we--
- I think you should have sex with him.
283
00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:34,243
- What?
- Yeah. Right now. Just try,
284
00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:36,483
and then observe
what happens, you know?
285
00:13:36,643 --> 00:13:38,123
If he says that he's not in the mood,
286
00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:41,523
then you tell him to get in the mood
or explain why not. Okay?
287
00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:43,003
That sounds kind of hot.
288
00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:44,563
Yeah, it is kind of.
289
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,923
But I like him, I really do.
290
00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:50,163
I think I kind of wanna take it slow
with him.
291
00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:51,763
Oh, my God.
292
00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:54,563
Maybe some of the new you
is rubbing off on me.
293
00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,043
Now?
294
00:13:59,683 --> 00:14:01,963
Oh, God.
295
00:14:02,203 --> 00:14:05,363
What are you doing leaving me out there?
I'm a pleaser, you know that?
296
00:14:05,523 --> 00:14:08,243
Look, Andrea's just not getting it.
297
00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,803
- I need you to sleep with Tony Dane.
- Sorry?
298
00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:12,243
We already know he likes you,
299
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:14,723
so we just need him to, like,
hit on you in front of her.
300
00:14:15,203 --> 00:14:18,083
I know what we could do. We could
go out there, we could all start dancing.
301
00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:20,603
Then I'll switch,
you can start dancing with Tony--
302
00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:24,163
- Wait, wait. No, no, no.
- We'll switch-- Start dancing with him.
303
00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:27,043
- Let's just open this up a little bit.
- Will you just cut it out?
304
00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:30,483
- Put some oil on. It needs to shimmer.
- Stop it. What are you doing?
305
00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:33,523
I'm not your toy. I'm not your pal.
I'm not your girlfriend,
306
00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:35,163
and I'm not your gay roommate.
307
00:14:35,323 --> 00:14:37,443
I'm here, okay? Right here.
308
00:14:37,603 --> 00:14:39,163
And I guess that's the problem.
309
00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:48,803
Drama queen, huh?
310
00:14:48,963 --> 00:14:50,483
Snap!
311
00:14:51,403 --> 00:14:52,803
- Where's Andrea?
- Bathroom.
312
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,363
Oh, good.
313
00:14:54,523 --> 00:14:56,523
Then it's just the two of us.
314
00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,483
All right, Tony,
you can be straight with me.
315
00:14:58,643 --> 00:15:02,203
- I'm sorry, that's a poor choice of words.
- What are you talking about?
316
00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,283
- I think you know.
- Do I?
317
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:08,163
Tony, I know what happened
in the men's room with Todd, okay?
318
00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:10,083
And Andrea is my best friend,
319
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,283
and I'm not gonna stand by
and let her get hurt.
320
00:15:12,443 --> 00:15:14,243
Look, she's gonna understand.
321
00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:16,563
I mean, I have admitted
so many horrible things to her,
322
00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:17,843
and she's always forgiven me.
323
00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:19,603
Not that being gay is horrible,
324
00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:23,003
or needs to be forgiven or anything.
I think it's good. It's--
325
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:25,683
Go, gays! So...
326
00:15:27,763 --> 00:15:29,083
- Hey.
- Hey.
327
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:31,043
What's going on?
328
00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,563
Andrea,
329
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,283
this isn't easy to say.
330
00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:38,843
It's okay. It's okay, Tony.
It's all right.
331
00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,243
Andrea,
332
00:15:40,403 --> 00:15:42,483
Tony has something
that he needs to tell you.
333
00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:44,603
- Sam tried to hit on me.
- What?
334
00:15:44,803 --> 00:15:47,283
- Sam.
- No. No, what?
335
00:15:47,443 --> 00:15:50,483
I don't wanna come between the two
of you, but I think we should just go.
336
00:15:50,643 --> 00:15:53,483
I was not hitting on him.
I was not hitting on you.
337
00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:57,043
I was-- Why would I hit on him?
He's gay.
338
00:15:57,203 --> 00:15:59,603
Yeah, you're gay. He's gay.
339
00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:02,083
There. God, I said it. I said it.
340
00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:03,843
Big weight lifted now.
341
00:16:04,003 --> 00:16:06,963
Oh, honey, he is gay.
342
00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:09,203
Oh, my God.
343
00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:10,963
Honestly, Sam.
344
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,043
A new low, even for you.
345
00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:14,803
What? No.
346
00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:16,403
He's gay--
347
00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:18,843
He was staring at Todd's:
348
00:16:19,883 --> 00:16:23,003
Maybe Andrea's right. Maybe I do
have some sort of pathological need
349
00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:25,043
to destroy all of her relationships.
350
00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:27,523
It's like, I don't know
if Tony Dane is gay.
351
00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:30,243
- I could be totally wrong.
- My boyfriend in college was gay.
352
00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,243
We didn't know it at the time.
I mean, he knew it,
353
00:16:32,403 --> 00:16:34,763
and all of the members
of the Man Alive Choir,
354
00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:36,923
but I did not see it.
355
00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:39,923
Now Andrea hasn't called me back
for two days. Todd's avoiding me.
356
00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,283
He leaves before I even get up.
357
00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:42,923
Did you do something
to make him mad,
358
00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:46,083
like ask him to oil up
and seduce Tony Dane?
359
00:16:46,803 --> 00:16:48,083
No. Just that.
360
00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:52,003
Hi.
361
00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:54,363
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
362
00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,323
- Guess who's gay?
- No one.
363
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,523
No one's gay, and anyone who says
that they are are just kidding themselves.
364
00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,803
Tony Dane.
365
00:17:02,963 --> 00:17:05,523
Maybe not.
Maybe I'm just being narrow-minded.
366
00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:07,363
You know what? In Europe,
367
00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:10,803
straight guys, they hold hands,
they walk right on down the street.
368
00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,763
No, he's gay. He told me himself.
369
00:17:12,923 --> 00:17:14,323
He did?
370
00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:16,963
You know that I was not
trying to break you guys up.
371
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:21,603
Yes, and today,
we're leaking our relationship to the press.
372
00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,283
Okay, I know I'm the one with amnesia,
373
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,523
but that means when two guys
love each other and--
374
00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:28,083
- Yeah.
- No, look. This is all good.
375
00:17:28,243 --> 00:17:29,803
Tony gets to have me on his arm,
376
00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:33,123
and I get paparazzi, press
and private planes,
377
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,763
and I get to see
whoever I want in secret.
378
00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:38,003
So you know what, Sam?
You were right.
379
00:17:38,163 --> 00:17:41,443
I need more out of a relationship: fame.
380
00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,123
Okay.
381
00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:45,283
Are you sure that this is what you want?
382
00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:47,163
- Yes, yes.
- Really?
383
00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:51,803
It's just a little weird to have a guy
who's just a friend.
384
00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:54,243
It doesn't have to be.
I mean, look at me and Todd.
385
00:17:54,403 --> 00:17:57,523
- No, it only works if one of you is gay.
- Why?
386
00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:01,843
There's always one that wants something
more than the other one. Usually me.
387
00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:03,603
Or Todd.
388
00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:06,363
Oh, God, I am such an idiot.
Of course he was mad
389
00:18:06,523 --> 00:18:09,363
I was trying to put oil on him.
Who wants to be treated like that?
390
00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,563
Chase. He loves it when I take
baby oil and:
391
00:18:14,323 --> 00:18:17,483
I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel
about the theory of matter,
392
00:18:17,643 --> 00:18:19,923
that matter exists in different forms.
393
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,523
I think the same thing applies to love.
Love is like liquid.
394
00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:25,843
It can flow outward
and bring life to a desert.
395
00:18:26,323 --> 00:18:27,803
He's very charming.
396
00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:30,483
You know, he's only on leave for a week.
Just show him a good time.
397
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,883
I can't show him a good time.
You show him a good time.
398
00:18:35,883 --> 00:18:38,803
- Regina, it's for you.
- Hey--
399
00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:44,923
Love can be a gas, light as air
and assuming the shape of its container.
400
00:18:47,163 --> 00:18:49,843
I mean, it's crazy. I have been so busy
with other peoples' lives
401
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,403
that I have paid no attention
to what's happening in mine.
402
00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:56,083
Like Todd. I mean, if he has feelings
for me, we need to talk about that,
403
00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:58,803
and about my feelings
about his feelings for me.
404
00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:02,083
Or if I have feelings for him
and my feelings about that.
405
00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:03,723
No?
406
00:19:04,403 --> 00:19:09,843
So I'm just gonna open up some wine
and settle in for a nice chat.
407
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,523
White wine and feelings.
408
00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:13,563
He's a very lucky man.
409
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:14,803
Good night, Ms. Newly.
410
00:19:14,963 --> 00:19:16,723
Good night, Frank.
411
00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:22,203
Hey, Todd?
412
00:19:22,363 --> 00:19:23,363
Hey,
413
00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:25,763
can we just talk about some--
414
00:19:26,043 --> 00:19:27,563
Hi.
415
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,203
- You there.
- Hi.
416
00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:31,443
Hi.
417
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:32,643
Sam.
418
00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:35,443
This is Cameron.
We were just going out.
419
00:19:35,603 --> 00:19:37,083
Yeah. Okay, good.
420
00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,843
Hi. That's-- You'll like that, yeah.
421
00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:41,123
And him.
422
00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:44,403
You'll like him, because he's not gay.
423
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,643
You wanted to talk?
424
00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:49,843
Me? No, I'm good.
425
00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:51,363
Have fun. Yeah.
426
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,803
Plus, I only got enough wine
for one, so...
427
00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:57,803
Oh, yeah.
428
00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:07,963
And like matter,
love can't be created or destroyed.
429
00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,363
It's always there,
430
00:20:09,523 --> 00:20:11,603
even if you can't see it.
431
00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:15,443
Even if it's right there in front of you.