1 00:00:00,363 --> 00:00:02,363 Being single is completely underrated. 2 00:00:02,523 --> 00:00:04,963 You can use up all the hot water for long baths, 3 00:00:05,123 --> 00:00:06,403 not share the popcorn, 4 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:09,203 and hog the remote to flip through 500 channels. 5 00:00:09,363 --> 00:00:12,603 This is helpful if you have amnesia. You can fill in decades of info 6 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,163 in the time it takes your nail polish to dry. 7 00:00:15,523 --> 00:00:17,963 Did you know that Hitler had a mistress? What a jerk. 8 00:00:18,123 --> 00:00:19,883 - History Channel again? - Yeah. 9 00:00:20,043 --> 00:00:22,963 I only caught the second half, but I think I got the gist. 10 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,123 Look at this. 11 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,683 - You can send coffee to the troops. - Put it down. 12 00:00:27,843 --> 00:00:29,363 - Why? It's a nice thing to do. - Yeah. 13 00:00:29,523 --> 00:00:33,083 I thought it was a nice thing too. I sent a pound of Sumatra Dark, a note, 14 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:36,163 and got a note back from Captain Randy Holt saying thank you. 15 00:00:36,323 --> 00:00:38,683 Then I, to be polite, e-mailed back, "You're welcome." 16 00:00:38,843 --> 00:00:41,203 And then he e-mailed me back, "What's up?" 17 00:00:41,363 --> 00:00:42,963 Now I feel I'm cheating on Chase, 18 00:00:43,123 --> 00:00:45,283 and I led him on, and I'm a coffee tease. 19 00:00:45,683 --> 00:00:46,683 Coffee tease. 20 00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:49,043 See, the whole store knows. 21 00:00:49,203 --> 00:00:51,803 Oh, come on. Calm down. You are not cheating on Chase. 22 00:00:51,963 --> 00:00:55,763 All right? He's just a lonely soldier who wants news from home. 23 00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:58,483 You know, just keep it to, like, small talk, 24 00:00:58,643 --> 00:00:59,643 you know, boring stuff. 25 00:00:59,803 --> 00:01:00,803 You know what, 26 00:01:00,963 --> 00:01:04,163 why don't you tell that story you told me three times about your fridge? 27 00:01:04,323 --> 00:01:06,003 - Hey. - Which I found thrilling. 28 00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:10,523 But I think in his day, it would be a nice break from all the excitement. 29 00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:12,723 - Hey, Andrea. - I'm on a date. 30 00:01:12,883 --> 00:01:15,803 You and Tony Dane are still texting? When are you gonna meet--? 31 00:01:16,963 --> 00:01:19,083 Look, I know he's a basketball star and everything, 32 00:01:19,243 --> 00:01:20,563 but he should take the time to-- 33 00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:22,803 Okay, why are you bupping me? 34 00:01:22,963 --> 00:01:25,763 Look, it's okay. You know, just because I'm not dating anyone 35 00:01:26,203 --> 00:01:28,563 doesn't mean that you can't talk about your relationship. 36 00:01:28,723 --> 00:01:31,723 That's exactly what it means. Every time you're not dating someone 37 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:34,443 and I am, you do everything you can to try and break us up. 38 00:01:34,603 --> 00:01:38,243 Oh, come on, I would never do-- Oh, and of course, I'm wrong. 39 00:01:38,523 --> 00:01:40,523 I'm gonna go to the little girls' room. 40 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,603 I'll be right back. 41 00:01:45,603 --> 00:01:48,403 You guys make a great couple. Yeah. 42 00:01:48,563 --> 00:01:52,243 Andrea must be really happy if she's gonna try and go off her meds again. 43 00:01:53,843 --> 00:01:55,283 You work out, huh? 44 00:01:55,723 --> 00:01:56,723 Yeah. 45 00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,203 That'll be helpful when Andrea's husband gets out of prison. 46 00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:02,843 Seriously, 47 00:02:03,003 --> 00:02:06,363 you don't recognise her from her "film career"? 48 00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:07,883 No? 49 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:12,283 All right, look, I know that that used to happen, but I am-- 50 00:02:12,443 --> 00:02:14,083 - Different now. We know. - Different now. 51 00:02:14,243 --> 00:02:16,603 Fine, whatever. I will back off. 52 00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:19,203 I just thought it would be a nice story to tell your kids 53 00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,683 that Mommy and Daddy actually met once. 54 00:02:21,843 --> 00:02:22,923 We're trying to meet. 55 00:02:23,083 --> 00:02:26,683 We're just very high-powered people with very busy schedules. 56 00:02:27,443 --> 00:02:30,003 But it seems like he's the one who's always cancelling on you-- 57 00:02:31,323 --> 00:02:32,323 I know. 58 00:02:40,683 --> 00:02:42,843 Turn on the tube. The game starts in five minutes. 59 00:02:43,003 --> 00:02:44,963 What channel's it on? 60 00:02:45,203 --> 00:02:47,443 Todd, it's Cameron. I didn't hear from you. 61 00:02:47,603 --> 00:02:50,523 I just called to see if you wanted to meet up sometime. 62 00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:52,963 Cameron? 63 00:02:53,123 --> 00:02:55,123 The dancer with the legs and the daddy issues. 64 00:02:55,283 --> 00:02:56,883 What the hell, man? 65 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,363 I might call. I don't know. 66 00:02:58,763 --> 00:03:01,363 Man, I'd be all over that. And that girl at the deli? 67 00:03:01,923 --> 00:03:05,043 "Take a number, here's mine." They're like dropping from trees out there. 68 00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:07,123 What are you hanging around here for? 69 00:03:07,403 --> 00:03:09,043 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 70 00:03:09,203 --> 00:03:10,483 Hey. 71 00:03:13,363 --> 00:03:16,243 - Shut up. - Todd, come on. 72 00:03:16,403 --> 00:03:18,123 What are you doing, man? 73 00:03:18,283 --> 00:03:21,243 We've been hanging out a lot lately. You know, movies, dinners. 74 00:03:21,403 --> 00:03:23,683 Maybe it'll grow from friends into something else. 75 00:03:23,843 --> 00:03:26,563 Todd, listen to me. You are quickly becoming gay roommate. 76 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:29,723 If you want it to turn into something, you gotta make her miss you. 77 00:03:29,883 --> 00:03:33,603 - We live in the same apartment. - Then get out. Be less available. 78 00:03:33,763 --> 00:03:35,483 All right? Sam is smart. 79 00:03:35,643 --> 00:03:38,163 Why buy the bull when you can castrate it for free? 80 00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:39,803 Wow, that's beautiful, man. 81 00:03:39,963 --> 00:03:41,723 Hey. Hey, Seth. 82 00:03:41,883 --> 00:03:43,443 You work for Tony Dane, right? 83 00:03:43,603 --> 00:03:45,763 - Towel boy. - Mock if you will, my friend, 84 00:03:45,923 --> 00:03:48,323 but if it weren't for me, he'd always be wet. 85 00:03:48,483 --> 00:03:50,683 I don't like the way that he is treating Andrea. 86 00:03:50,843 --> 00:03:54,123 I mean, why is he stringing her along? Does he not like her or something? 87 00:03:54,283 --> 00:03:57,203 I mean, what, is he afraid of commitment? Like, what's the deal? 88 00:03:57,363 --> 00:04:00,763 I'll ask him about his feelings next time we get our nails done. 89 00:04:00,923 --> 00:04:02,483 Look, I need to talk to him, okay? 90 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,563 - Why? - Because I owe her. 91 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,923 Look, I just need a way to get to him, Sethy. 92 00:04:10,403 --> 00:04:12,563 - What, I just go in? - This is what you wanted. 93 00:04:12,723 --> 00:04:14,003 Now, here's your press pass. 94 00:04:14,163 --> 00:04:16,523 If you get caught or captured, I don't know you, 95 00:04:16,683 --> 00:04:19,603 because believe it or not, it is possible for me to be demoted. 96 00:04:19,763 --> 00:04:20,963 Really? 97 00:04:21,123 --> 00:04:22,483 Okay. 98 00:04:24,323 --> 00:04:26,963 Good game. Good game. Way to play. Way to play. 99 00:04:27,123 --> 00:04:28,563 - Hey. - Oh, I'm sorry about that. 100 00:04:28,723 --> 00:04:30,003 That's a whole lot of naked. 101 00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:32,923 How did you give up 12 unanswered points in the fourth quarter? 102 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,163 We come to play every night. 103 00:04:34,323 --> 00:04:36,563 Anyone in this league can beat you any night of the week, 104 00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:39,763 so you gotta rely on your teammates. Any more questions? 105 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,803 Why do you keep cancelling on Andrea Belladonna? 106 00:04:42,963 --> 00:04:44,243 What paper are you with? 107 00:04:44,403 --> 00:04:46,643 I happen to be with... 108 00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:49,523 ...Heinie Magazine. 109 00:04:49,963 --> 00:04:51,483 Anyway, why do you keep cancelling on her? 110 00:04:51,643 --> 00:04:55,603 What, are you a commitment-phobe, or just a big fat liar? Which is it? 111 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,403 I'm not cancelling on her. She's cancelling on me. 112 00:04:58,563 --> 00:05:00,563 Really? That's weird. 113 00:05:04,723 --> 00:05:06,083 Hey, Andrea. 114 00:05:06,243 --> 00:05:09,683 - What did you do? - Me? Nothing. This and that. 115 00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,283 - You? - Oh, me? 116 00:05:11,443 --> 00:05:13,883 Me? I got a text message from Tony Dane. 117 00:05:14,363 --> 00:05:17,043 Said, "Some crazy blond came into my locker room 118 00:05:17,203 --> 00:05:19,443 and accused me of always cancelling on you." 119 00:05:20,323 --> 00:05:23,203 That Paris Hilton. God, she's everywhere. 120 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:26,883 You just had to get involved, didn't you? I told you to leave it alone. 121 00:05:27,043 --> 00:05:29,763 You know what? You also told me that he was cancelling on you. 122 00:05:29,923 --> 00:05:32,283 So you know what? You lied to me, and that's one of the sins. 123 00:05:32,443 --> 00:05:34,803 - Don't even. - Why don't you wanna see him? 124 00:05:34,963 --> 00:05:37,083 Because. Because it is perfect. 125 00:05:37,243 --> 00:05:39,963 We text each other all the time. We share things. 126 00:05:40,123 --> 00:05:41,203 We never fight. 127 00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:44,883 It is the best relationship I have ever had, and you just destroyed it. 128 00:05:47,243 --> 00:05:49,843 - Guess you managed to hear all that. - Some. 129 00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:51,443 Mostly I was writing a poem. 130 00:06:02,003 --> 00:06:03,923 Excuse me. Excuse me. 131 00:06:04,483 --> 00:06:07,283 Hey. I am completely afraid that a bug 132 00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,843 is gonna crawl down my throat when I'm asleep. 133 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,083 I saw that on the Discovery Channel last night. 134 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:15,363 When did you start thinking that your life needed a narrator? 135 00:06:15,523 --> 00:06:17,963 Everyone is afraid of something, all right? 136 00:06:18,123 --> 00:06:19,563 Go out with Tony. 137 00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:22,483 You need more than a text relationship, Andrea. 138 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,163 You deserve that, and Tony likes you. 139 00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:28,403 No, no. He likes the stuff my phone says I say. 140 00:06:28,563 --> 00:06:29,963 Okay? I mean, 141 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,803 I can be this perfect person, and I plan every word, 142 00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:35,203 and I could spell-check myself. 143 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,483 What if I meet him and every word that just comes out of my mouth 144 00:06:38,643 --> 00:06:40,723 is just misspelled? 145 00:06:40,883 --> 00:06:43,523 If that's what you're worried about, I'll go with you. 146 00:06:44,243 --> 00:06:47,523 I'll bring Todd. We can be like the Ricardos and the Mertzes, 147 00:06:47,683 --> 00:06:50,563 the Flintstones and the Rubbles. I've been watching way too much TV. 148 00:06:50,723 --> 00:06:52,243 Yes. 149 00:06:53,763 --> 00:06:55,523 Mr. Newly, hi. I have a situation. 150 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:59,203 I've been writing to a soldier in Iraq, and I may have mentioned in a letter 151 00:06:59,363 --> 00:07:00,523 that my refrigerator's broken. 152 00:07:00,683 --> 00:07:02,083 Today, this one showed up, 153 00:07:02,243 --> 00:07:06,163 and if my real boyfriend, Chase, sees it at my place, he'll know I'm cheating. 154 00:07:07,923 --> 00:07:09,923 Regina, it's for you. 155 00:07:11,203 --> 00:07:14,603 Hey, Todd, will you please bring me my purse? 156 00:07:20,883 --> 00:07:22,323 Hey. Is the man of the house at home? 157 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:25,363 - I was getting this for Samantha. - Yeah, that's better. 158 00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:29,763 Before I forget, we are going out with Andrea tomorrow night, okay? 159 00:07:29,923 --> 00:07:31,283 Hey, Seth. 160 00:07:33,163 --> 00:07:34,603 No. 161 00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:37,523 - No? - No. 162 00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:39,083 Not available. 163 00:07:39,243 --> 00:07:40,603 Not even gonna say why. 164 00:07:40,923 --> 00:07:42,323 Okay, well, 165 00:07:42,483 --> 00:07:45,243 I just thought you might wanna hang out with Tony Dane, 166 00:07:45,403 --> 00:07:47,483 but I guess I was wrong. 167 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,803 - Okay! Okay! - Eight o'clock. 168 00:07:58,963 --> 00:08:02,003 This is you playing hard to get? So far I've only seen "get." 169 00:08:02,163 --> 00:08:03,603 I'm hanging out with Tony Dane. 170 00:08:03,763 --> 00:08:06,083 I can still ignore Sam. In fact, she can see me ignore her. 171 00:08:06,243 --> 00:08:07,603 It'll drive her nuts. Up high. 172 00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:10,283 - Gay roommate. - Shut it. 173 00:08:12,083 --> 00:08:13,483 This is in Farsi. 174 00:08:13,643 --> 00:08:15,443 I should've stopped writing Captain Randy. 175 00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:16,763 Sam said it was okay, 176 00:08:16,923 --> 00:08:19,683 but now the poor guy is sending me major appliances. 177 00:08:19,843 --> 00:08:21,603 I mean, I have to get out of this. 178 00:08:21,763 --> 00:08:24,683 It's tearing me apart. I can't keep living two lives. 179 00:08:24,843 --> 00:08:27,363 Honey, I don't think you're living one. 180 00:08:27,843 --> 00:08:29,403 You gotta break up with this guy. 181 00:08:29,563 --> 00:08:33,203 I can't break up with a soldier. I have a "Support the Troops" sticker on my car. 182 00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:34,523 Then let me do it, please. 183 00:08:34,683 --> 00:08:37,523 I haven't broken up with anyone for so long, it'll make me feel a teenager. 184 00:08:37,923 --> 00:08:39,523 No, it's my responsibility. 185 00:08:39,683 --> 00:08:42,483 I'm just gonna go and do it now. 186 00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:45,043 Fine, leave, but don't come back. 187 00:08:46,363 --> 00:08:47,363 Excuse me? 188 00:08:47,523 --> 00:08:48,803 No. 189 00:08:49,323 --> 00:08:50,843 Please. Don't-- 190 00:08:51,003 --> 00:08:53,683 Don't make this any harder than it needs to be. 191 00:08:54,163 --> 00:08:57,923 We had our chance, but our chance came and went. 192 00:08:58,083 --> 00:08:59,483 People change. 193 00:08:59,643 --> 00:09:01,283 So just-- 194 00:09:01,603 --> 00:09:03,363 Just walk away, 195 00:09:03,763 --> 00:09:06,483 and always remember the times that we had. 196 00:09:13,923 --> 00:09:16,043 You are so hired. 197 00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:23,123 Hello? Thirsty. 198 00:09:23,283 --> 00:09:24,323 My drink? 199 00:09:24,483 --> 00:09:26,443 You know, I forgot you were there. 200 00:09:26,603 --> 00:09:28,803 You know what? I should go. 201 00:09:28,963 --> 00:09:31,243 Yeah, I have a big tort complaint to prepare for, 202 00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:33,883 and you don't know what that is, so you can't say I'm lying. 203 00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:35,683 - Here he comes. - Yeah. 204 00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,723 - Hey, Tony! - See, he hates me. 205 00:09:38,883 --> 00:09:41,483 He doesn't. Now just breathe, okay? 206 00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:45,523 Andrea? 207 00:09:46,203 --> 00:09:47,763 It was definitely worth the wait. 208 00:09:48,883 --> 00:09:50,603 Hi-lo. 209 00:09:50,763 --> 00:09:54,083 I meant to say hi, and then I thought hello, 210 00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:56,603 and it came out like hi-lo. 211 00:09:58,163 --> 00:09:59,283 Let me start again. 212 00:10:00,563 --> 00:10:01,563 Hi-lo. 213 00:10:04,163 --> 00:10:06,523 Now, Philly, that's a tough town to play in. 214 00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:09,203 Are you two together, or what? 215 00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:11,963 - No, I'm alone. Lone wolf. - Used to be. 216 00:10:12,123 --> 00:10:13,523 I don't even know her. 217 00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,363 I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 218 00:10:17,523 --> 00:10:19,043 Yeah. 219 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,723 Excuse me. 220 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:43,963 - Gay? - Trust me. 221 00:10:44,123 --> 00:10:46,563 Yeah, well, he wasn't before he went. 222 00:10:46,723 --> 00:10:49,443 He took the urinal right next to me, and then there was a look. 223 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,083 - How does that make him gay? - There was a nod. 224 00:10:52,243 --> 00:10:53,923 Okay, a look and a nod, that's it? 225 00:10:54,083 --> 00:10:55,923 And a smile. There was a look, a nod and a smile. 226 00:10:56,083 --> 00:10:58,643 - Only thing missing was ice skates. - Ice skates? 227 00:10:58,803 --> 00:11:00,283 Figure skaters are gay, right? 228 00:11:00,443 --> 00:11:02,163 I don't know. This is not my scene. 229 00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:04,083 Sam. Sam. Come here. 230 00:11:04,523 --> 00:11:06,723 Do not say anything, all right? This is going really well, 231 00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:10,163 and I'm not gonna let anything screw it up. Okay? 232 00:11:11,443 --> 00:11:13,363 - Yeah? - Tony said the most amazing thing. 233 00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:15,843 - Go ahead. Say it again. - I just said I liked her shoes. 234 00:11:16,003 --> 00:11:17,403 No. No. No. 235 00:11:17,563 --> 00:11:19,883 He said he liked my vintage Lacroix shoes. 236 00:11:20,043 --> 00:11:22,643 I mean, really, what kind of man notices something like that? 237 00:11:22,803 --> 00:11:25,043 Sam, thoughts? 238 00:11:31,163 --> 00:11:33,843 I mean, look at her. She likes him. 239 00:11:34,003 --> 00:11:35,923 Maybe she can change him. It's possible. 240 00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:38,443 They have camps for that. I saw it on the Bible channel. 241 00:11:38,603 --> 00:11:40,083 - Just tell her. - Tell her what? 242 00:11:40,243 --> 00:11:42,643 That she's in love with a gay man? I can't tell her that. 243 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,203 She's just gonna think that I'm sabotaging her relationship. 244 00:11:45,363 --> 00:11:47,363 - So don't tell her. - She's in love with a gay man. 245 00:11:47,523 --> 00:11:49,843 How can I not tell her? She's gonna get hurt. 246 00:11:50,003 --> 00:11:52,243 Wait a minute, you're right. You're right. 247 00:11:52,403 --> 00:11:54,003 I don't tell her. I show her. 248 00:11:54,163 --> 00:11:57,003 If she sees it for herself then she can't be mad at me, right? 249 00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:59,123 Thank you so much. You're such a good friend. 250 00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:02,123 Wait, friend? No, no, no. I'm not your-- 251 00:12:03,283 --> 00:12:04,283 Damn it. 252 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:08,643 Like it? 253 00:12:08,803 --> 00:12:12,403 Hey, look at me, I'm a break-up artist. Nice stove. 254 00:12:12,563 --> 00:12:14,083 I'm sorry. 255 00:12:14,243 --> 00:12:17,323 He told me how hard it was for him there, and I wanted to relate, 256 00:12:17,483 --> 00:12:19,603 so I told him the light on my stove kept going out. 257 00:12:19,763 --> 00:12:21,883 You were supposed to be helping me out of this. 258 00:12:22,043 --> 00:12:23,443 I couldn't do it. He needs me. 259 00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:26,083 I might be the only thing keeping him alive at night. 260 00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:28,763 - Who are you keeping alive at night? - My soldier. 261 00:12:28,923 --> 00:12:30,283 Oh, I'll break up with him. 262 00:12:30,443 --> 00:12:34,603 I fire people all the time, no problem, but nobody buys my wife a stove. 263 00:12:34,763 --> 00:12:37,683 - Including you. - Damn right. 264 00:12:38,643 --> 00:12:39,763 Look at it. 265 00:12:39,923 --> 00:12:41,683 You begged for it. Look at it. 266 00:12:41,843 --> 00:12:45,483 Tony, you know, Todd and I were talking this morning 267 00:12:45,643 --> 00:12:48,083 about what our favourite characters on Sex and the City were, 268 00:12:48,243 --> 00:12:51,203 and I was just curious what yours was. 269 00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:54,083 You know, I've never seen Sex and the City. 270 00:12:55,523 --> 00:12:56,883 It's okay. 271 00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,963 Let's put on some music, all right? 272 00:12:59,123 --> 00:13:01,723 Tony, you can pick, because you're the guest. 273 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:06,483 We have Foo Fighters, Metallica, 274 00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:08,283 Mamma Mia. 275 00:13:09,403 --> 00:13:11,443 Hey, what's your favourite musical, Tony? 276 00:13:11,763 --> 00:13:13,843 I'm really not into musicals. 277 00:13:14,003 --> 00:13:16,723 Oh, really, so you're gonna play it that way, huh? 278 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,763 Andrea, I need to get some more wine. Will you help me open up a bottle? 279 00:13:19,923 --> 00:13:21,603 Okay, good. 280 00:13:22,083 --> 00:13:23,683 Guys, have fun. 281 00:13:26,323 --> 00:13:27,683 I like him. 282 00:13:27,843 --> 00:13:31,843 - Oh, me too. You know, I think we-- - I think you should have sex with him. 283 00:13:32,003 --> 00:13:34,243 - What? - Yeah. Right now. Just try, 284 00:13:34,403 --> 00:13:36,483 and then observe what happens, you know? 285 00:13:36,643 --> 00:13:38,123 If he says that he's not in the mood, 286 00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:41,523 then you tell him to get in the mood or explain why not. Okay? 287 00:13:41,683 --> 00:13:43,003 That sounds kind of hot. 288 00:13:43,163 --> 00:13:44,563 Yeah, it is kind of. 289 00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:46,923 But I like him, I really do. 290 00:13:47,083 --> 00:13:50,163 I think I kind of wanna take it slow with him. 291 00:13:50,323 --> 00:13:51,763 Oh, my God. 292 00:13:51,923 --> 00:13:54,563 Maybe some of the new you is rubbing off on me. 293 00:13:58,043 --> 00:13:59,043 Now? 294 00:13:59,683 --> 00:14:01,963 Oh, God. 295 00:14:02,203 --> 00:14:05,363 What are you doing leaving me out there? I'm a pleaser, you know that? 296 00:14:05,523 --> 00:14:08,243 Look, Andrea's just not getting it. 297 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:10,803 - I need you to sleep with Tony Dane. - Sorry? 298 00:14:10,963 --> 00:14:12,243 We already know he likes you, 299 00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:14,723 so we just need him to, like, hit on you in front of her. 300 00:14:15,203 --> 00:14:18,083 I know what we could do. We could go out there, we could all start dancing. 301 00:14:18,243 --> 00:14:20,603 Then I'll switch, you can start dancing with Tony-- 302 00:14:20,763 --> 00:14:24,163 - Wait, wait. No, no, no. - We'll switch-- Start dancing with him. 303 00:14:24,323 --> 00:14:27,043 - Let's just open this up a little bit. - Will you just cut it out? 304 00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:30,483 - Put some oil on. It needs to shimmer. - Stop it. What are you doing? 305 00:14:30,643 --> 00:14:33,523 I'm not your toy. I'm not your pal. I'm not your girlfriend, 306 00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:35,163 and I'm not your gay roommate. 307 00:14:35,323 --> 00:14:37,443 I'm here, okay? Right here. 308 00:14:37,603 --> 00:14:39,163 And I guess that's the problem. 309 00:14:47,563 --> 00:14:48,803 Drama queen, huh? 310 00:14:48,963 --> 00:14:50,483 Snap! 311 00:14:51,403 --> 00:14:52,803 - Where's Andrea? - Bathroom. 312 00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:54,363 Oh, good. 313 00:14:54,523 --> 00:14:56,523 Then it's just the two of us. 314 00:14:56,683 --> 00:14:58,483 All right, Tony, you can be straight with me. 315 00:14:58,643 --> 00:15:02,203 - I'm sorry, that's a poor choice of words. - What are you talking about? 316 00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,283 - I think you know. - Do I? 317 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:08,163 Tony, I know what happened in the men's room with Todd, okay? 318 00:15:08,323 --> 00:15:10,083 And Andrea is my best friend, 319 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:12,283 and I'm not gonna stand by and let her get hurt. 320 00:15:12,443 --> 00:15:14,243 Look, she's gonna understand. 321 00:15:14,403 --> 00:15:16,563 I mean, I have admitted so many horrible things to her, 322 00:15:16,723 --> 00:15:17,843 and she's always forgiven me. 323 00:15:18,003 --> 00:15:19,603 Not that being gay is horrible, 324 00:15:19,763 --> 00:15:23,003 or needs to be forgiven or anything. I think it's good. It's-- 325 00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:25,683 Go, gays! So... 326 00:15:27,763 --> 00:15:29,083 - Hey. - Hey. 327 00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:31,043 What's going on? 328 00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,563 Andrea, 329 00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,283 this isn't easy to say. 330 00:15:36,723 --> 00:15:38,843 It's okay. It's okay, Tony. It's all right. 331 00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,243 Andrea, 332 00:15:40,403 --> 00:15:42,483 Tony has something that he needs to tell you. 333 00:15:43,083 --> 00:15:44,603 - Sam tried to hit on me. - What? 334 00:15:44,803 --> 00:15:47,283 - Sam. - No. No, what? 335 00:15:47,443 --> 00:15:50,483 I don't wanna come between the two of you, but I think we should just go. 336 00:15:50,643 --> 00:15:53,483 I was not hitting on him. I was not hitting on you. 337 00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:57,043 I was-- Why would I hit on him? He's gay. 338 00:15:57,203 --> 00:15:59,603 Yeah, you're gay. He's gay. 339 00:15:59,763 --> 00:16:02,083 There. God, I said it. I said it. 340 00:16:02,243 --> 00:16:03,843 Big weight lifted now. 341 00:16:04,003 --> 00:16:06,963 Oh, honey, he is gay. 342 00:16:07,123 --> 00:16:09,203 Oh, my God. 343 00:16:09,363 --> 00:16:10,963 Honestly, Sam. 344 00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,043 A new low, even for you. 345 00:16:13,203 --> 00:16:14,803 What? No. 346 00:16:14,963 --> 00:16:16,403 He's gay-- 347 00:16:16,563 --> 00:16:18,843 He was staring at Todd's: 348 00:16:19,883 --> 00:16:23,003 Maybe Andrea's right. Maybe I do have some sort of pathological need 349 00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:25,043 to destroy all of her relationships. 350 00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:27,523 It's like, I don't know if Tony Dane is gay. 351 00:16:27,683 --> 00:16:30,243 - I could be totally wrong. - My boyfriend in college was gay. 352 00:16:30,403 --> 00:16:32,243 We didn't know it at the time. I mean, he knew it, 353 00:16:32,403 --> 00:16:34,763 and all of the members of the Man Alive Choir, 354 00:16:34,923 --> 00:16:36,923 but I did not see it. 355 00:16:37,283 --> 00:16:39,923 Now Andrea hasn't called me back for two days. Todd's avoiding me. 356 00:16:40,083 --> 00:16:41,283 He leaves before I even get up. 357 00:16:41,443 --> 00:16:42,923 Did you do something to make him mad, 358 00:16:43,083 --> 00:16:46,083 like ask him to oil up and seduce Tony Dane? 359 00:16:46,803 --> 00:16:48,083 No. Just that. 360 00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:52,003 Hi. 361 00:16:52,163 --> 00:16:54,363 - Hey, guys. - Hey. 362 00:16:54,523 --> 00:16:56,323 - Guess who's gay? - No one. 363 00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,523 No one's gay, and anyone who says that they are are just kidding themselves. 364 00:17:01,563 --> 00:17:02,803 Tony Dane. 365 00:17:02,963 --> 00:17:05,523 Maybe not. Maybe I'm just being narrow-minded. 366 00:17:05,963 --> 00:17:07,363 You know what? In Europe, 367 00:17:07,523 --> 00:17:10,803 straight guys, they hold hands, they walk right on down the street. 368 00:17:10,963 --> 00:17:12,763 No, he's gay. He told me himself. 369 00:17:12,923 --> 00:17:14,323 He did? 370 00:17:14,483 --> 00:17:16,963 You know that I was not trying to break you guys up. 371 00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:21,603 Yes, and today, we're leaking our relationship to the press. 372 00:17:21,763 --> 00:17:23,283 Okay, I know I'm the one with amnesia, 373 00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:25,523 but that means when two guys love each other and-- 374 00:17:26,483 --> 00:17:28,083 - Yeah. - No, look. This is all good. 375 00:17:28,243 --> 00:17:29,803 Tony gets to have me on his arm, 376 00:17:29,963 --> 00:17:33,123 and I get paparazzi, press and private planes, 377 00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,763 and I get to see whoever I want in secret. 378 00:17:35,923 --> 00:17:38,003 So you know what, Sam? You were right. 379 00:17:38,163 --> 00:17:41,443 I need more out of a relationship: fame. 380 00:17:41,603 --> 00:17:43,123 Okay. 381 00:17:43,283 --> 00:17:45,283 Are you sure that this is what you want? 382 00:17:45,443 --> 00:17:47,163 - Yes, yes. - Really? 383 00:17:48,483 --> 00:17:51,803 It's just a little weird to have a guy who's just a friend. 384 00:17:51,963 --> 00:17:54,243 It doesn't have to be. I mean, look at me and Todd. 385 00:17:54,403 --> 00:17:57,523 - No, it only works if one of you is gay. - Why? 386 00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:01,843 There's always one that wants something more than the other one. Usually me. 387 00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:03,603 Or Todd. 388 00:18:03,763 --> 00:18:06,363 Oh, God, I am such an idiot. Of course he was mad 389 00:18:06,523 --> 00:18:09,363 I was trying to put oil on him. Who wants to be treated like that? 390 00:18:09,523 --> 00:18:12,563 Chase. He loves it when I take baby oil and: 391 00:18:14,323 --> 00:18:17,483 I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel about the theory of matter, 392 00:18:17,643 --> 00:18:19,923 that matter exists in different forms. 393 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,523 I think the same thing applies to love. Love is like liquid. 394 00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:25,843 It can flow outward and bring life to a desert. 395 00:18:26,323 --> 00:18:27,803 He's very charming. 396 00:18:27,963 --> 00:18:30,483 You know, he's only on leave for a week. Just show him a good time. 397 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,883 I can't show him a good time. You show him a good time. 398 00:18:35,883 --> 00:18:38,803 - Regina, it's for you. - Hey-- 399 00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:44,923 Love can be a gas, light as air and assuming the shape of its container. 400 00:18:47,163 --> 00:18:49,843 I mean, it's crazy. I have been so busy with other peoples' lives 401 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:52,403 that I have paid no attention to what's happening in mine. 402 00:18:52,563 --> 00:18:56,083 Like Todd. I mean, if he has feelings for me, we need to talk about that, 403 00:18:56,243 --> 00:18:58,803 and about my feelings about his feelings for me. 404 00:18:58,963 --> 00:19:02,083 Or if I have feelings for him and my feelings about that. 405 00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:03,723 No? 406 00:19:04,403 --> 00:19:09,843 So I'm just gonna open up some wine and settle in for a nice chat. 407 00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,523 White wine and feelings. 408 00:19:11,683 --> 00:19:13,563 He's a very lucky man. 409 00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:14,803 Good night, Ms. Newly. 410 00:19:14,963 --> 00:19:16,723 Good night, Frank. 411 00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:22,203 Hey, Todd? 412 00:19:22,363 --> 00:19:23,363 Hey, 413 00:19:23,523 --> 00:19:25,763 can we just talk about some-- 414 00:19:26,043 --> 00:19:27,563 Hi. 415 00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,203 - You there. - Hi. 416 00:19:30,363 --> 00:19:31,443 Hi. 417 00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:32,643 Sam. 418 00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:35,443 This is Cameron. We were just going out. 419 00:19:35,603 --> 00:19:37,083 Yeah. Okay, good. 420 00:19:37,243 --> 00:19:39,843 Hi. That's-- You'll like that, yeah. 421 00:19:40,003 --> 00:19:41,123 And him. 422 00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:44,403 You'll like him, because he's not gay. 423 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:46,643 You wanted to talk? 424 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:49,843 Me? No, I'm good. 425 00:19:50,003 --> 00:19:51,363 Have fun. Yeah. 426 00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:55,803 Plus, I only got enough wine for one, so... 427 00:19:55,963 --> 00:19:57,803 Oh, yeah. 428 00:20:04,883 --> 00:20:07,963 And like matter, love can't be created or destroyed. 429 00:20:08,123 --> 00:20:09,363 It's always there, 430 00:20:09,523 --> 00:20:11,603 even if you can't see it. 431 00:20:12,403 --> 00:20:15,443 Even if it's right there in front of you.