1 00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:05,084 SAM: There are people in the world who have no one in their life. 2 00:00:05,084 --> 00:00:06,877 No one to come home to. 3 00:00:06,877 --> 00:00:08,626 [ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING] 4 00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:10,918 No one to share their day with. 5 00:00:14,002 --> 00:00:16,501 Those people are so lucky. 6 00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:17,501 [SIGHS] 7 00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:20,793 [TODD CLEARS THROAT] 8 00:00:23,293 --> 00:00:24,293 [SIGHS] 9 00:00:27,668 --> 00:00:30,002 [TODD SPEAKING CHINESE] 10 00:00:34,543 --> 00:00:37,002 Learning Chinese. It is their century, you know, 11 00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:39,002 and eventually, they will overflow their borders. 12 00:00:40,002 --> 00:00:41,043 Crowded there, is it? 13 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,251 - Yeah. - Yeah. 14 00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:51,543 Hello, Mom? Dad? 15 00:00:51,543 --> 00:00:52,668 [DOOR CLOSES] 16 00:00:54,835 --> 00:00:56,043 Yes. 17 00:00:57,334 --> 00:00:58,710 [SIGHS] 18 00:01:02,126 --> 00:01:06,460 REGINA: Samantha? We saw your car. - Hey, Sammy. What are you doing here? 19 00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,168 No, what are you doing here? 20 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:11,168 I thought today was the day you guys go look for junk at garage sales. 21 00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:13,793 Well, it is, we came home early. I got some horrible news. 22 00:01:13,793 --> 00:01:16,126 Yeah, she made me pass up a great box of doorknobs. 23 00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:18,626 I could have had a spare for every door in the house. 24 00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,002 So what was your horrible news? 25 00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:23,126 You know that condo we have listed over on College Avenue? 26 00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,376 Yeah? 27 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,251 - Well, there was a bidding war. - Yeah? 28 00:01:27,084 --> 00:01:28,334 And we sold it. 29 00:01:30,376 --> 00:01:33,084 You do know that it wasn't an actual war, right? 30 00:01:33,084 --> 00:01:34,585 That was our only listing. 31 00:01:34,585 --> 00:01:36,668 And it sold. Yay. 32 00:01:36,668 --> 00:01:38,501 Hey, why don't you and Dad go and celebrate? 33 00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,418 Samantha, you don't understand. 34 00:01:40,418 --> 00:01:43,126 To get listings you have to have a listing. 35 00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:45,209 Like it's easier to get a job when you're working 36 00:01:45,209 --> 00:01:47,960 or to meet a man when you're dating somebody else. 37 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,585 Oh, listen to me, I'm talking to someone who doesn't have a job or a man. 38 00:01:52,168 --> 00:01:54,918 Why don't we just put another ad in the paper? 39 00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:57,084 Like, that picture of us with the cell phones. 40 00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,418 It looked like an escort service. 41 00:01:59,877 --> 00:02:01,126 We got calls. 42 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,334 Oh! I know. 43 00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:05,918 What if we sell this house? 44 00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,376 HOWARD: Whoa, nobody's selling this house. 45 00:02:08,376 --> 00:02:10,126 I just washed all the window screens. 46 00:02:10,126 --> 00:02:11,918 I don't mean really sell it. 47 00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:15,752 It's just, I wanna have an open house so I can meet people that are looking. 48 00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,418 You know, get new listings. 49 00:02:17,418 --> 00:02:19,668 I do not like strangers in my house. 50 00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,460 I don't even like people I like in my house. 51 00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,668 I hear you. 52 00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:24,835 [CELL PHONE RINGING] 53 00:02:27,251 --> 00:02:28,293 - Hello? TODD: Hey. 54 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,168 I found 5 bucks in the couch. 55 00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:32,418 If I take 2 more out of your jeans, I can see a movie. 56 00:02:33,084 --> 00:02:36,168 - So you won't be in the apartment? -Yeah. 57 00:02:36,168 --> 00:02:39,168 - Wanna join me? - Oh, poo, no, I can't, 58 00:02:39,168 --> 00:02:41,084 I'm having sort of a work crisis with my mom. 59 00:02:41,084 --> 00:02:43,793 - So you have a good time. - Bye. 60 00:02:45,293 --> 00:02:48,418 Good for you. Oh, I'm finally getting the support from you that I was-- 61 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,543 SAM: See you. 62 00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,293 [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] 63 00:02:54,376 --> 00:02:56,376 Oh, Todd. No. 64 00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,376 [SPEAKS IN CHINESE] 65 00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,376 Oh, hey. That means, "I'd like to send a fax." 66 00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:07,626 - But who sends a fax anymore? - What happened to the movie? 67 00:03:07,626 --> 00:03:09,418 Well, I decided I didn't wanna go alone. 68 00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:11,460 It's not as fun doing things by myself, you know? 69 00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:14,251 [YELLING] No, I don't know, Todd. How could I possibly know? 70 00:03:15,168 --> 00:03:18,002 Okay, is something bothering you? 71 00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:20,710 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes. Look, I never get to be here by myself 72 00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:21,918 because you are always here. 73 00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:27,501 Look, I know I'm around a lot lately. But right now I'm waiting to hear 74 00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:30,376 about a staff photographer job at The Chicago Mirror. 75 00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,835 Really? When are you gonna hear? 76 00:03:31,835 --> 00:03:34,376 Tomorrow? This afternoon? By the time I finish this sentence? 77 00:03:34,376 --> 00:03:36,668 It's down to two of us, we're both meeting tomorrow, 78 00:03:36,668 --> 00:03:39,668 but I'm not holding my breath because the other guy is Wes Green. 79 00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:41,251 - Wes Green? - Wes Green. 80 00:03:41,668 --> 00:03:44,835 Yeah, he and I both started at a free local paper a few years back, but then 81 00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:46,793 he got this picture of a mine-worker rescue 82 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,251 which earned him a Pulitzer Prize and his career took off. 83 00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:53,793 I was supposed to get that assignment, but for some reason I never got the call. 84 00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,334 I'm gonna go get us a cab. Don't forget to lock up. 85 00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:00,877 - Did you put the vodka in the carry-on? - Yes, yes. 86 00:04:00,877 --> 00:04:03,084 And smile, it's 78 degrees in Cancún. 87 00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:05,002 Why do I have to have curly hair? Why? 88 00:04:05,002 --> 00:04:06,960 [PHONE RINGS] 89 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,126 [ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS] 90 00:04:08,126 --> 00:04:10,251 MAN: Todd, it's Chuck at the Chicago Voice. 91 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:14,543 I got you into that collapsed mine in Ohio, but you have to leave now. Call me. 92 00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:18,710 Hmm. Cancún, Ohio. 93 00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:22,543 MACHINE: Message deleted. - Olé. 94 00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:28,251 Oh, my God. Did you ever find out what happened? 95 00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:32,334 Well, what happened is, is now Wes is shooting magazine covers 96 00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:34,710 and I'm renting your couch. 97 00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:36,126 [CHUCKLES] 98 00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:40,376 - By the way, this month's on me. - What? 99 00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,043 And all I cared about was going to Mexico 100 00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:57,168 and I completely ruined a guy's entire life. 101 00:04:57,168 --> 00:05:00,334 You must feel awful. Ooh! How was Cancún? 102 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:03,168 Dena, sweetie, I never get to remember the good parts, 103 00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:04,752 only the screwing-people-over parts. 104 00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:05,918 [CELL PHONE RINGS] 105 00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:07,168 Sorry. 106 00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:09,002 - And Todd doesn't know what you did? - No. 107 00:05:09,002 --> 00:05:12,960 I didn't tell him I dropped his sunglasses in the toilet, I'm not gonna tell him about this. 108 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,293 - Can I tell him? - No. 109 00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:18,251 Man, I just-- I just wish I could undo this, you know? 110 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,960 Get him that job somehow. 111 00:05:22,084 --> 00:05:25,710 Which I could, if Wes was out of the way. 112 00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:28,501 - I need your help. - Hey, I am insulted. 113 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:32,293 Just because I am Italian does not mean I can get rid of somebody. 114 00:05:33,752 --> 00:05:37,501 I mean, I can. I mean, I know someone. Who happens to be Italian. 115 00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,960 No, no, sweetie, because you're a lawyer, and you can help me get his address. 116 00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:42,668 So you can slash his tires. 117 00:05:42,668 --> 00:05:44,626 No. No more bad. 118 00:05:45,002 --> 00:05:47,960 I've already messed up someone's whole life. I mean, who does that? 119 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,418 Uh, my neighbor just called 120 00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:52,251 and she said that there is a For Sale sign in my front yard 121 00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,501 and an open house going on. 122 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,626 My mother does that, that's who. 123 00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,002 Thanks for signing in. Here's my card. 124 00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:05,334 Mrs. Newly, what's going on? 125 00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:07,002 How did you get in my house? 126 00:06:07,002 --> 00:06:10,418 Isn't that the great thing about living in a small town? No one locks their doors. 127 00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:12,960 I do. Yeah. You can't sell my house. 128 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,835 Is that something I needed to say specifically at some point? 129 00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:19,376 I'm not, I'm not, I'm not selling your house, I'm just making contacts. 130 00:06:19,376 --> 00:06:21,334 I've already met four potential clients. 131 00:06:21,334 --> 00:06:24,043 And a strange man sniffed your banister and then he left. 132 00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:27,293 You let in Mr. Darcy? You-- This is not okay. 133 00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:30,710 Hi. We love this house, and we'd like to make an offer. 134 00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:33,585 Oh, no. No. 135 00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:34,918 No. Uh-uh. 136 00:06:34,918 --> 00:06:38,293 WOMAN: Hi. DENA: No. No, sorry. See you. 137 00:06:38,293 --> 00:06:40,002 Nuh-uh. 138 00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:44,251 Um, apparently, the house might not actually be available after all. 139 00:06:44,251 --> 00:06:46,626 Okay, we don't want a big negotiation. 140 00:06:46,626 --> 00:06:48,793 We'll give you 30,000 over the asking price. 141 00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,793 I think you'll be very happy here. 142 00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:07,334 Oh, that's him. That's Wes Green. 143 00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:09,293 ANDREA: Ooh. 144 00:07:09,293 --> 00:07:11,334 Ooh, ooh. Hot. Mm. 145 00:07:11,334 --> 00:07:13,251 I gotta figure out what I'm gonna say to him. 146 00:07:13,251 --> 00:07:15,084 I need some sort of plan. 147 00:07:15,084 --> 00:07:16,460 I should have sex with him. 148 00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:18,960 - How is that gonna help my plan? - What plan? 149 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,209 - What? - Oh, jeez, forget it. 150 00:07:21,209 --> 00:07:24,668 Hey, Wes Green. Wes Green. Hi. Hi. Hi, I'm-- 151 00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:28,501 Hi, I'm Samantha Newly. I'm a friend of Todd Deepler's. 152 00:07:28,501 --> 00:07:30,918 Oh, God, yeah. 153 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,168 - How is Todd? - He's good, he's good. 154 00:07:33,168 --> 00:07:36,002 Look, you know that Pulitzer Prize you won? 155 00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:38,418 - I do, yes. - That should have been his. 156 00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,043 Okay. Um... 157 00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:45,084 - Well, I'll just go get it then. - No, no, no, that's-- 158 00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:48,418 You can keep the thingamajigger. Just... 159 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,835 Look, please don't go on that interview today. 160 00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:52,251 Let Todd get this job. 161 00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:53,585 And why would I do that? 162 00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:57,002 Look, Todd was supposed to have that coal-mine assignment, 163 00:07:57,002 --> 00:08:01,334 but I didn't give him the message, so in a way, you might say 164 00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,918 I kind of got you that Pulitzer Prize, so basically you owe me. 165 00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:08,251 Oh, I-- First of all, 166 00:08:08,251 --> 00:08:11,251 - thank you for the Pulitzer Prize. - Yeah, it's okay. 167 00:08:11,251 --> 00:08:13,501 Although I don't recall you being in that mine shaft 168 00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:16,418 choking on dust and death for two days, a mile underground. 169 00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:17,626 Or placing the camera, 170 00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:20,501 or getting enough lights down there to shoot, but not too much light, 171 00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,626 so that people could feel the darkness those men live in down there. 172 00:08:23,626 --> 00:08:25,710 Yeah, okay, we get it, you've got a camera. 173 00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,710 So does everybody else. I have one on my phone. 174 00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,501 If you don't mind, I'll keep the Prize 175 00:08:29,501 --> 00:08:32,460 and my interview appointment, which is in 20 minutes, 176 00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:35,668 so I gotta get ready. Say hi to Todd, okay? Ha, ha. 177 00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,501 [SCOFFS] 178 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,418 Ow. 179 00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,043 ANDREA: Use this. 180 00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:06,002 - You carry that in your car? - You don't? 181 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:09,084 - No, I can't do this. I can't do this. - You've done it plenty. 182 00:09:09,084 --> 00:09:11,543 Go through the side, where the belting's not in the way. 183 00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:15,918 No, no. I was mad a minute ago, but it is just-- It's not right. 184 00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:19,084 - So let's just go. - Yeah, no, you should go home. 185 00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:22,960 Where, because of you, Todd is probably sitting there, jobless. 186 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,126 Just teaching himself the banjo. 187 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,251 [TIRE HISSES] 188 00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,376 See? It's just like riding a bike, right? 189 00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:44,043 I can't believe it. I got the job the great Wes Green was up for. 190 00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,710 - This is amazing. - You're welcome. 191 00:09:46,126 --> 00:09:50,168 - What? - You're welcome to happiness. 192 00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:53,626 Go forth. Be happy. Welcome. 193 00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,251 - Thanks. - See you. 194 00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:05,209 I totally got him that job. Which we will file under "zip it," all right? 195 00:10:05,209 --> 00:10:08,501 I just know there goes my Chinese study buddy. 196 00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:11,168 You. Right there. 197 00:10:11,168 --> 00:10:13,460 - Frank, don't go anywhere. - Don't worry. 198 00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,668 [IN CHINESE] 199 00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:17,376 Thank you. 200 00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:18,585 What the hell, anyway? 201 00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,585 - Is there a problem, sir? - Ask her. 202 00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:24,501 Hey, I know you. 203 00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:27,293 Dude, how the heck did you know where I lived? 204 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,126 I drove Todd once when we worked together. 205 00:10:29,126 --> 00:10:30,877 But today I had to take the bus, 206 00:10:30,877 --> 00:10:33,752 because someone slashed my tire to get her boyfriend a job. 207 00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,002 She's all yours. 208 00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,334 Frank, come on, tires? 209 00:10:38,334 --> 00:10:40,918 Tires are really hard to slash. 210 00:10:40,918 --> 00:10:43,710 Which I would not know about. 211 00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:48,752 Okay, okay, okay. I am so sorry. 212 00:10:48,752 --> 00:10:51,460 But you know, you're kind of getting a little flip-outty. A little-- 213 00:10:52,376 --> 00:10:55,877 Flippy-outty, a little flippity. 214 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,126 You're mad. 215 00:10:57,126 --> 00:10:59,752 And I understand that, but you can get any job you want 216 00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:02,084 and Todd really, really needed that job. 217 00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,293 Did he? 218 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,418 Did he need it because his wife divorced him 219 00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:07,793 and he has to show a judge that he's locally employed 220 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,501 or he'll lose custody of his kids? 221 00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,251 I don't know. 222 00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:16,334 Fine, fine. I have ruined your life too. I will fix this. I promise. 223 00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:19,002 I'll talk to Todd and I will explain to your ex-wife exactly-- 224 00:11:19,002 --> 00:11:23,626 No. You go anywhere near my family and I will run you down in the street. 225 00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,543 You'll need a pretty cooperative bus driver for that. 226 00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,668 [LAUGHS] 227 00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:30,043 Not funny. 228 00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:34,752 Great. Now, to help Wes, I just have to ruin Todd's career again. 229 00:11:34,752 --> 00:11:39,209 By the way, I'm happy, and I never want your help. 230 00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:42,752 Dena, Dena. 231 00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:46,126 - This is a very good offer. - I know. 232 00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:50,293 It's 30,000 dollars over the asking price. 233 00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,585 I know, heh. That's a lot of money. 234 00:11:52,585 --> 00:11:54,251 In this market? 235 00:11:54,251 --> 00:11:56,752 With people all over this country unable to sell their homes 236 00:11:56,752 --> 00:11:58,835 it's like spitting in their faces. 237 00:11:58,835 --> 00:12:02,918 You know, this was my mom's house. I've never lived anywhere else. Heh, heh. 238 00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:07,376 Dena. 239 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,668 Do you know where your mother is right now? 240 00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,668 - She's in here. - In a wall. 241 00:12:13,043 --> 00:12:14,835 - I didn't mean literally. - A mausoleum-- 242 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:20,168 Okay, no, the point is, she's not here in this house. 243 00:12:20,168 --> 00:12:21,209 She's in heaven. 244 00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:25,126 And your boyfriend's in the city, 245 00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:26,877 and Samantha's in the city, 246 00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:30,626 and that's where your future is, Dena. 247 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,126 Dena, I'm giving you the future. 248 00:12:37,084 --> 00:12:38,084 Thank you. 249 00:12:38,293 --> 00:12:39,877 [CHUCKLES] 250 00:12:40,501 --> 00:12:41,877 Oh. 251 00:12:45,043 --> 00:12:46,501 [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES] 252 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:47,835 - Hey. - Hey. 253 00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,460 - How was your first day? - Great. 254 00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:53,334 Amazing. Sam, this job is everything I've always wanted. 255 00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:58,501 Really? Even better than working at a camera store? 256 00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,460 A camera store? No, no, this job is great. 257 00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:03,251 My editor walked me through the stories I'm gonna be shooting. 258 00:13:03,251 --> 00:13:06,084 Gangs on the north side, spring training with the Cubs, 259 00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:08,585 maybe London 2012. Yeah. 260 00:13:08,585 --> 00:13:11,585 Oh. "Maybe London 2012"? 261 00:13:11,585 --> 00:13:14,668 I mean what, if you play your cards right or something? 262 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,710 Sure, if you wanna walk on eggshells for the next four years. 263 00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,418 No wonder you're so stressed out. 264 00:13:19,418 --> 00:13:21,752 - I'm not stressed out. - Calm down, man. 265 00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,585 Breathe, chill. 266 00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:27,835 Look, you beat out Wes Green for this job. 267 00:13:27,835 --> 00:13:29,585 You can do so much better. 268 00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:32,668 I-- I believe in you. 269 00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:35,710 Wait, what's going on? You were so happy I got this job. 270 00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,877 Okay, all right I'll say it. 271 00:13:37,877 --> 00:13:42,918 Look, I-- I've seen your work and, uh, it's not that good. 272 00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:48,585 - Incredible. - What? 273 00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,418 You just have to keep me down, don't you? 274 00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:52,585 No. No, no, that's not it. 275 00:13:52,585 --> 00:13:54,251 Then what? Why do you want me to quit? 276 00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,293 Because-- 277 00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:58,543 Because I-- 278 00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:04,334 I really started to miss you. You know, just-- 279 00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:06,626 It's really quiet around here. 280 00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:09,793 Yeah, exactly. When I was laying around the apartment, you could handle that. 281 00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:12,960 You know, I bet this is why I never got anywhere when we were together. 282 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,668 Well, I'm going somewhere now, you know. 283 00:14:14,668 --> 00:14:19,043 I'm going out to dinner with my editor and publisher. Deal with it. 284 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,043 - Sam? - Huh? 285 00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,168 [PANTING] 286 00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:37,418 You know, that Martha Stewart is a wack-adoo 287 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,752 because this does not sharpen knives. 288 00:14:41,543 --> 00:14:42,918 Nope, that doesn't. 289 00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:49,002 You slashed Wes Green's tire? 290 00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:50,710 No, I tried reasoning with him first. 291 00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:54,793 And I wouldn't have even been able to slash the tire if Andrea didn't carry a knife. 292 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:58,126 You know what, hearing it now, I bear very little responsibility here. 293 00:14:58,126 --> 00:14:59,835 So now I have to quit the job. 294 00:14:59,835 --> 00:15:01,460 Thank you so much for understanding. 295 00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:05,835 I mean, his life is in shambles, you know, he's getting divorced, his tire was slashed. 296 00:15:05,835 --> 00:15:08,168 I mean because I don't deserve it. 297 00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,543 Yes, you do deserve it. 298 00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:10,960 And you will get the next one. 299 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,793 - No, he can have it, I'm done. - Done? 300 00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,752 With photography? No. Why? 301 00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:16,877 Because on the off chance you're not always there 302 00:15:16,877 --> 00:15:20,251 to slash someone's tire for me, it's obvious I'll never have Wes' career. 303 00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:22,960 Yeah, well, you know what, you would have if it wasn't for me. 304 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,501 - What? - Huh? 305 00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:27,293 Thanks for doing my inspection, Mr. Newly. 306 00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:30,960 Oh, not a problem. You know, those licensed guys are a racket. 307 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,960 Carnies with a clipboard. No, everything is fine under there, 308 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,043 but you've got a bluish stain on the sink. 309 00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:40,209 Yeah. You know, that's just from my mom making a blueberry pie every Sunday. 310 00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:42,126 The new owners can bleach it out. 311 00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:47,251 What? No. Every time I go to rinse out a glass it makes me think of her. 312 00:15:47,251 --> 00:15:51,168 You know what, I'm just gonna take that sink with me. 313 00:15:51,168 --> 00:15:54,168 - Yeah. - Well, they might notice that eventually. 314 00:15:54,168 --> 00:15:56,251 And here, this doorjamb, this has all the marks 315 00:15:56,251 --> 00:15:59,084 from where my mom measured my height every single birthday. 316 00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,293 And oh, this asterisk by my thirteenth 317 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,084 is because I wouldn't take off my Darth Vader helmet. 318 00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,835 No, I'm-- I'm ripping that out, too. Yeah. 319 00:16:08,918 --> 00:16:10,209 HOWARD: Uh-huh. 320 00:16:10,209 --> 00:16:12,043 - And the front door? - Taking it. 321 00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:14,710 Yeah, that's where Chase and I had our first kiss. 322 00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,376 And oh, I'm gonna need the floor in front of the fireplace 323 00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,209 because that's the first place, you know, we-- Never mind. 324 00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:22,209 But I'm gonna need that. Yeah. 325 00:16:23,543 --> 00:16:27,710 - Dena, are you sure you wanna sell? - Oh, yeah, sure. 326 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:31,877 You know-- I mean, I signed a contract, right? Everybody's counting on me. 327 00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:33,543 - So I guess-- REGINA: Hi. 328 00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,960 I just got off the phone with the new buyers. 329 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,918 They wanted to make sure that you were lea-- 330 00:16:39,668 --> 00:16:42,918 That you were leaving the Snoopy mailbox. Ha. 331 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,002 Like you were gonna take that with you. 332 00:16:45,752 --> 00:16:46,877 [WHISPERS] I want that. 333 00:16:48,002 --> 00:16:49,793 Regina, bad news. 334 00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:52,376 - This sale ain't gonna happen. DENA & REGINA: What? 335 00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:56,376 Yeah, I was just down in the basement. It's riddled with mold. 336 00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:59,752 Mold? So? You hang up an air freshener. 337 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,918 Well, nobody's gonna buy a house with mold, Regina. 338 00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:04,668 And now that you know, you have to disclose it. 339 00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:08,002 Well, thanks so much for your help, Mr. Science. 340 00:17:08,002 --> 00:17:11,501 You're not a professional and you cannot say anything against your wife in court. 341 00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:14,752 Dena, Dena, I'm gonna get a bottle of wine and some painkillers, 342 00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:18,084 and by tomorrow you're gonna forget that this conversation ever happened. 343 00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:22,084 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Wait, wait, wait. Don't blame Mr. Newly, it's me. 344 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:26,877 I'm happy here. I have a good life, you know? 345 00:17:26,877 --> 00:17:32,501 I have a boyfriend and a best friend, and a free house with a yard for my dogs. 346 00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:35,209 People work their whole lives to have what I already have, 347 00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,543 I mean, I don't wanna leave. Ha, ha. 348 00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:42,710 [SNICKERS] 349 00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:44,918 Okay, we got mold. 350 00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:55,084 I don't even have a basement. 351 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,209 Well, I'm not a professional. 352 00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,877 - Thanks, Mr. Newly. - Don't mention it. 353 00:18:00,877 --> 00:18:04,418 Oh, and your bedroom wiring is shot. 354 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,126 Oh. Tsk. 355 00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,334 - Gotcha. - No, I mean it. 356 00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:11,334 Fix it or one night you'll wake up on fire. 357 00:18:11,668 --> 00:18:13,084 [DOOR OPENS] 358 00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,626 A vacation? You screwed me out of a job for a vacation? 359 00:18:17,626 --> 00:18:21,543 Okay, okay, okay, that's one scenario. Now just flip it around. 360 00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:24,835 - I did you a favor. - Oh, really? How's that? 361 00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:27,877 Say I did give you that message. And you had gotten that job. 362 00:18:27,877 --> 00:18:31,752 I mean, maybe you would have gotten a Pulitzer Prize and ended up like Wes, 363 00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:34,501 in a failed marriage, not allowed to see our kids. 364 00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:36,710 Well, maybe I wouldn't have neglected our kids. 365 00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:38,877 Yes, you would have, you'd be gone all the time. 366 00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:40,376 What, and you're such a great mom? 367 00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:42,918 - At least I went to their soccer games. - Wait, Sam. 368 00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:44,918 And the homework, it's so hard. 369 00:18:44,918 --> 00:18:47,084 - What are we talking about? - I don't know. 370 00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,293 I'm just so ashamed. I'm-- 371 00:18:51,334 --> 00:18:55,752 I am so, so sorry that I ruined your life. 372 00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:01,376 Well, I don't know if you ruined my life. 373 00:19:01,376 --> 00:19:03,626 Yeah, it was kind of ruined. By me. 374 00:19:03,626 --> 00:19:05,710 - It's not ruined. - Kind of is. 375 00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:08,293 - It's not even that bad. - You didn't see Wes' car. 376 00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,710 - Wasn't for me, you'd be driving that car. - Okay, stop. 377 00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:13,418 - Can you drive a stick, though? - Sam, come on. 378 00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:16,084 I know you think you pull all the strings, but you're not God. 379 00:19:16,084 --> 00:19:17,334 You don't control the universe. 380 00:19:17,752 --> 00:19:20,168 That's very sweet, Todd, but just not true. 381 00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:23,835 Believe me, I would love to blame you for everything bad that's ever happened. 382 00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:26,877 And not giving me that message, yeah, that was bad. 383 00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:29,334 You know, but since then, I might have 384 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,460 made a few wrong moves on my own. 385 00:19:31,835 --> 00:19:35,585 No, you said I always kept you down. 386 00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:39,043 Well, I was mad. 387 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,043 The truth is, I've never been a big self-starter. 388 00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:45,543 When we were together, you kind of kicked my ass into gear. 389 00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,334 Really? 390 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:52,543 Which is maybe why since we've been apart, 391 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:55,585 I've kind of sputtered. 392 00:19:57,501 --> 00:19:58,501 Oh. 393 00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,918 Quit. Recommend Wes. 394 00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:10,501 We'll find you something better. 395 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,002 Camera store? 396 00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:15,710 Even better. 397 00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:18,043 [SIGHS] 398 00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:19,334 [DIALING] 399 00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:23,126 SAM: Okay, so like I was saying, except the opposite, 400 00:20:23,126 --> 00:20:27,043 it is a nice thing to have people in your life. Duh. 401 00:20:30,418 --> 00:20:34,460 You just have to remember that they're in charge of their own destiny. 402 00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,251 - Give me that. - And that you can't control them, 403 00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:39,918 - no matter how much you want to. - Here we go. 404 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:48,251 No matter how much they really need you to take the wheel, 405 00:20:48,251 --> 00:20:50,043 don't do it. 406 00:20:56,793 --> 00:20:59,543 All you can do is give them a nudge in the right direction 407 00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,752 and hope for the best. 408 00:21:03,752 --> 00:21:06,877 The good news is, you'll have more time to focus on your own life, 409 00:21:06,877 --> 00:21:10,543 to solve your own problems, big and small. 410 00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:16,626 Like how to do a crossword puzzle when you have amnesia. 411 00:21:17,668 --> 00:21:20,334 "I blank Lucy." 412 00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:22,293 Who the hell's Lucy?