1
00:00:01,877 --> 00:00:05,084
SAM: There are people in the world
who have no one in their life.
2
00:00:05,084 --> 00:00:06,877
No one to come home to.
3
00:00:06,877 --> 00:00:08,626
[ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH BUZZING]
4
00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:10,918
No one to share their day with.
5
00:00:14,002 --> 00:00:16,501
Those people are so lucky.
6
00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:17,501
[SIGHS]
7
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:20,793
[TODD CLEARS THROAT]
8
00:00:23,293 --> 00:00:24,293
[SIGHS]
9
00:00:27,668 --> 00:00:30,002
[TODD SPEAKING CHINESE]
10
00:00:34,543 --> 00:00:37,002
Learning Chinese.
It is their century, you know,
11
00:00:37,002 --> 00:00:39,002
and eventually,
they will overflow their borders.
12
00:00:40,002 --> 00:00:41,043
Crowded there, is it?
13
00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:45,251
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
14
00:00:49,168 --> 00:00:51,543
Hello, Mom? Dad?
15
00:00:51,543 --> 00:00:52,668
[DOOR CLOSES]
16
00:00:54,835 --> 00:00:56,043
Yes.
17
00:00:57,334 --> 00:00:58,710
[SIGHS]
18
00:01:02,126 --> 00:01:06,460
REGINA: Samantha? We saw your car.
- Hey, Sammy. What are you doing here?
19
00:01:06,460 --> 00:01:08,168
No, what are you doing here?
20
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:11,168
I thought today was the day you guys
go look for junk at garage sales.
21
00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:13,793
Well, it is, we came home early.
I got some horrible news.
22
00:01:13,793 --> 00:01:16,126
Yeah, she made me pass up
a great box of doorknobs.
23
00:01:16,126 --> 00:01:18,626
I could have had a spare
for every door in the house.
24
00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:20,002
So what was your horrible news?
25
00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:23,126
You know that condo we have listed
over on College Avenue?
26
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:24,376
Yeah?
27
00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:26,251
- Well, there was a bidding war.
- Yeah?
28
00:01:27,084 --> 00:01:28,334
And we sold it.
29
00:01:30,376 --> 00:01:33,084
You do know
that it wasn't an actual war, right?
30
00:01:33,084 --> 00:01:34,585
That was our only listing.
31
00:01:34,585 --> 00:01:36,668
And it sold. Yay.
32
00:01:36,668 --> 00:01:38,501
Hey, why don't you and Dad
go and celebrate?
33
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,418
Samantha, you don't understand.
34
00:01:40,418 --> 00:01:43,126
To get listings
you have to have a listing.
35
00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:45,209
Like it's easier to get a job
when you're working
36
00:01:45,209 --> 00:01:47,960
or to meet a man
when you're dating somebody else.
37
00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,585
Oh, listen to me, I'm talking to someone
who doesn't have a job or a man.
38
00:01:52,168 --> 00:01:54,918
Why don't we just put another ad
in the paper?
39
00:01:54,918 --> 00:01:57,084
Like, that picture of us
with the cell phones.
40
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:59,418
It looked like an escort service.
41
00:01:59,877 --> 00:02:01,126
We got calls.
42
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,334
Oh! I know.
43
00:02:04,334 --> 00:02:05,918
What if we sell this house?
44
00:02:05,918 --> 00:02:08,376
HOWARD:
Whoa, nobody's selling this house.
45
00:02:08,376 --> 00:02:10,126
I just washed all the window screens.
46
00:02:10,126 --> 00:02:11,918
I don't mean really sell it.
47
00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:15,752
It's just, I wanna have an open house
so I can meet people that are looking.
48
00:02:15,752 --> 00:02:17,418
You know, get new listings.
49
00:02:17,418 --> 00:02:19,668
I do not like strangers in my house.
50
00:02:20,460 --> 00:02:22,460
I don't even like people I like
in my house.
51
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,668
I hear you.
52
00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:24,835
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
53
00:02:27,251 --> 00:02:28,293
- Hello?
TODD: Hey.
54
00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,168
I found 5 bucks in the couch.
55
00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:32,418
If I take 2 more out of your jeans,
I can see a movie.
56
00:02:33,084 --> 00:02:36,168
- So you won't be in the apartment?
-Yeah.
57
00:02:36,168 --> 00:02:39,168
- Wanna join me?
- Oh, poo, no, I can't,
58
00:02:39,168 --> 00:02:41,084
I'm having sort of a work crisis
with my mom.
59
00:02:41,084 --> 00:02:43,793
- So you have a good time.
- Bye.
60
00:02:45,293 --> 00:02:48,418
Good for you. Oh, I'm finally getting
the support from you that I was--
61
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,543
SAM:
See you.
62
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,293
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
63
00:02:54,376 --> 00:02:56,376
Oh, Todd. No.
64
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,376
[SPEAKS IN CHINESE]
65
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:04,376
Oh, hey.
That means, "I'd like to send a fax."
66
00:03:05,002 --> 00:03:07,626
- But who sends a fax anymore?
- What happened to the movie?
67
00:03:07,626 --> 00:03:09,418
Well, I decided I didn't wanna go alone.
68
00:03:09,418 --> 00:03:11,460
It's not as fun doing things
by myself, you know?
69
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:14,251
[YELLING] No, I don't know, Todd.
How could I possibly know?
70
00:03:15,168 --> 00:03:18,002
Okay, is something bothering you?
71
00:03:18,002 --> 00:03:20,710
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Yes. Look, I never get to be here by myself
72
00:03:20,710 --> 00:03:21,918
because you are always here.
73
00:03:24,543 --> 00:03:27,501
Look, I know I'm around a lot lately.
But right now I'm waiting to hear
74
00:03:27,501 --> 00:03:30,376
about a staff photographer job
at The Chicago Mirror.
75
00:03:30,376 --> 00:03:31,835
Really? When are you gonna hear?
76
00:03:31,835 --> 00:03:34,376
Tomorrow? This afternoon?
By the time I finish this sentence?
77
00:03:34,376 --> 00:03:36,668
It's down to two of us,
we're both meeting tomorrow,
78
00:03:36,668 --> 00:03:39,668
but I'm not holding my breath
because the other guy is Wes Green.
79
00:03:39,668 --> 00:03:41,251
- Wes Green?
- Wes Green.
80
00:03:41,668 --> 00:03:44,835
Yeah, he and I both started at a free
local paper a few years back, but then
81
00:03:44,835 --> 00:03:46,793
he got this picture
of a mine-worker rescue
82
00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:50,251
which earned him a Pulitzer Prize
and his career took off.
83
00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:53,793
I was supposed to get that assignment,
but for some reason I never got the call.
84
00:03:56,168 --> 00:03:58,334
I'm gonna go get us a cab.
Don't forget to lock up.
85
00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:00,877
- Did you put the vodka in the carry-on?
- Yes, yes.
86
00:04:00,877 --> 00:04:03,084
And smile, it's 78 degrees in Cancún.
87
00:04:03,084 --> 00:04:05,002
Why do I have to have curly hair? Why?
88
00:04:05,002 --> 00:04:06,960
[PHONE RINGS]
89
00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,126
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
90
00:04:08,126 --> 00:04:10,251
MAN:
Todd, it's Chuck at the Chicago Voice.
91
00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:14,543
I got you into that collapsed mine in Ohio,
but you have to leave now. Call me.
92
00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:18,710
Hmm. Cancún, Ohio.
93
00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:22,543
MACHINE: Message deleted.
- Olé.
94
00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:28,251
Oh, my God.
Did you ever find out what happened?
95
00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:32,334
Well, what happened is, is now Wes
is shooting magazine covers
96
00:04:32,334 --> 00:04:34,710
and I'm renting your couch.
97
00:04:34,710 --> 00:04:36,126
[CHUCKLES]
98
00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:40,376
- By the way, this month's on me.
- What?
99
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:54,043
And all I cared about
was going to Mexico
100
00:04:54,043 --> 00:04:57,168
and I completely ruined
a guy's entire life.
101
00:04:57,168 --> 00:05:00,334
You must feel awful.
Ooh! How was Cancún?
102
00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:03,168
Dena, sweetie,
I never get to remember the good parts,
103
00:05:03,168 --> 00:05:04,752
only the screwing-people-over parts.
104
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:05,918
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
105
00:05:05,918 --> 00:05:07,168
Sorry.
106
00:05:07,168 --> 00:05:09,002
- And Todd doesn't know what you did?
- No.
107
00:05:09,002 --> 00:05:12,960
I didn't tell him I dropped his sunglasses in
the toilet, I'm not gonna tell him about this.
108
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:14,293
- Can I tell him?
- No.
109
00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:18,251
Man, I just--
I just wish I could undo this, you know?
110
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,960
Get him that job somehow.
111
00:05:22,084 --> 00:05:25,710
Which I could,
if Wes was out of the way.
112
00:05:26,168 --> 00:05:28,501
- I need your help.
- Hey, I am insulted.
113
00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:32,293
Just because I am Italian
does not mean I can get rid of somebody.
114
00:05:33,752 --> 00:05:37,501
I mean, I can. I mean, I know someone.
Who happens to be Italian.
115
00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,960
No, no, sweetie, because you're a lawyer,
and you can help me get his address.
116
00:05:41,334 --> 00:05:42,668
So you can slash his tires.
117
00:05:42,668 --> 00:05:44,626
No. No more bad.
118
00:05:45,002 --> 00:05:47,960
I've already messed up someone's
whole life. I mean, who does that?
119
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,418
Uh, my neighbor just called
120
00:05:49,418 --> 00:05:52,251
and she said that there is a For Sale sign
in my front yard
121
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,501
and an open house going on.
122
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,626
My mother does that, that's who.
123
00:05:57,460 --> 00:05:59,002
Thanks for signing in. Here's my card.
124
00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:05,334
Mrs. Newly, what's going on?
125
00:06:05,334 --> 00:06:07,002
How did you get in my house?
126
00:06:07,002 --> 00:06:10,418
Isn't that the great thing about living
in a small town? No one locks their doors.
127
00:06:10,418 --> 00:06:12,960
I do. Yeah. You can't sell my house.
128
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:15,835
Is that something I needed
to say specifically at some point?
129
00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:19,376
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not selling your house,
I'm just making contacts.
130
00:06:19,376 --> 00:06:21,334
I've already met four potential clients.
131
00:06:21,334 --> 00:06:24,043
And a strange man
sniffed your banister and then he left.
132
00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:27,293
You let in Mr. Darcy? You--
This is not okay.
133
00:06:27,293 --> 00:06:30,710
Hi. We love this house,
and we'd like to make an offer.
134
00:06:30,710 --> 00:06:33,585
Oh, no. No.
135
00:06:33,585 --> 00:06:34,918
No. Uh-uh.
136
00:06:34,918 --> 00:06:38,293
WOMAN: Hi.
DENA: No. No, sorry. See you.
137
00:06:38,293 --> 00:06:40,002
Nuh-uh.
138
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:44,251
Um, apparently, the house might not
actually be available after all.
139
00:06:44,251 --> 00:06:46,626
Okay, we don't want a big negotiation.
140
00:06:46,626 --> 00:06:48,793
We'll give you 30,000
over the asking price.
141
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,793
I think you'll be very happy here.
142
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:07,334
Oh, that's him. That's Wes Green.
143
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:09,293
ANDREA:
Ooh.
144
00:07:09,293 --> 00:07:11,334
Ooh, ooh. Hot. Mm.
145
00:07:11,334 --> 00:07:13,251
I gotta figure out
what I'm gonna say to him.
146
00:07:13,251 --> 00:07:15,084
I need some sort of plan.
147
00:07:15,084 --> 00:07:16,460
I should have sex with him.
148
00:07:16,460 --> 00:07:18,960
- How is that gonna help my plan?
- What plan?
149
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,209
- What?
- Oh, jeez, forget it.
150
00:07:21,209 --> 00:07:24,668
Hey, Wes Green. Wes Green.
Hi. Hi. Hi, I'm--
151
00:07:25,585 --> 00:07:28,501
Hi, I'm Samantha Newly.
I'm a friend of Todd Deepler's.
152
00:07:28,501 --> 00:07:30,918
Oh, God, yeah.
153
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:33,168
- How is Todd?
- He's good, he's good.
154
00:07:33,168 --> 00:07:36,002
Look,
you know that Pulitzer Prize you won?
155
00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:38,418
- I do, yes.
- That should have been his.
156
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,043
Okay. Um...
157
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:45,084
- Well, I'll just go get it then.
- No, no, no, that's--
158
00:07:45,084 --> 00:07:48,418
You can keep the thingamajigger.
Just...
159
00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:50,835
Look, please don't go
on that interview today.
160
00:07:50,835 --> 00:07:52,251
Let Todd get this job.
161
00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:53,585
And why would I do that?
162
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:57,002
Look, Todd was supposed to have
that coal-mine assignment,
163
00:07:57,002 --> 00:08:01,334
but I didn't give him the message,
so in a way, you might say
164
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,918
I kind of got you that Pulitzer Prize,
so basically you owe me.
165
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:08,251
Oh, I-- First of all,
166
00:08:08,251 --> 00:08:11,251
- thank you for the Pulitzer Prize.
- Yeah, it's okay.
167
00:08:11,251 --> 00:08:13,501
Although I don't recall
you being in that mine shaft
168
00:08:13,501 --> 00:08:16,418
choking on dust and death for two days,
a mile underground.
169
00:08:16,418 --> 00:08:17,626
Or placing the camera,
170
00:08:17,626 --> 00:08:20,501
or getting enough lights down there
to shoot, but not too much light,
171
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,626
so that people could feel the darkness
those men live in down there.
172
00:08:23,626 --> 00:08:25,710
Yeah, okay, we get it,
you've got a camera.
173
00:08:25,710 --> 00:08:27,710
So does everybody else.
I have one on my phone.
174
00:08:27,710 --> 00:08:29,501
If you don't mind, I'll keep the Prize
175
00:08:29,501 --> 00:08:32,460
and my interview appointment,
which is in 20 minutes,
176
00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:35,668
so I gotta get ready.
Say hi to Todd, okay? Ha, ha.
177
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,501
[SCOFFS]
178
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,418
Ow.
179
00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:02,043
ANDREA:
Use this.
180
00:09:02,543 --> 00:09:06,002
- You carry that in your car?
- You don't?
181
00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:09,084
- No, I can't do this. I can't do this.
- You've done it plenty.
182
00:09:09,084 --> 00:09:11,543
Go through the side,
where the belting's not in the way.
183
00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:15,918
No, no. I was mad a minute ago,
but it is just-- It's not right.
184
00:09:15,918 --> 00:09:19,084
- So let's just go.
- Yeah, no, you should go home.
185
00:09:19,084 --> 00:09:22,960
Where, because of you,
Todd is probably sitting there, jobless.
186
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,126
Just teaching himself the banjo.
187
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,251
[TIRE HISSES]
188
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,376
See? It's just like riding a bike, right?
189
00:09:40,626 --> 00:09:44,043
I can't believe it. I got the job
the great Wes Green was up for.
190
00:09:44,043 --> 00:09:45,710
- This is amazing.
- You're welcome.
191
00:09:46,126 --> 00:09:50,168
- What?
- You're welcome to happiness.
192
00:09:50,168 --> 00:09:53,626
Go forth. Be happy. Welcome.
193
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,251
- Thanks.
- See you.
194
00:10:00,626 --> 00:10:05,209
I totally got him that job.
Which we will file under "zip it," all right?
195
00:10:05,209 --> 00:10:08,501
I just know there goes
my Chinese study buddy.
196
00:10:08,501 --> 00:10:11,168
You. Right there.
197
00:10:11,168 --> 00:10:13,460
- Frank, don't go anywhere.
- Don't worry.
198
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,668
[IN CHINESE]
199
00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:17,376
Thank you.
200
00:10:17,376 --> 00:10:18,585
What the hell, anyway?
201
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,585
- Is there a problem, sir?
- Ask her.
202
00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:24,501
Hey, I know you.
203
00:10:24,501 --> 00:10:27,293
Dude, how the heck
did you know where I lived?
204
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,126
I drove Todd once
when we worked together.
205
00:10:29,126 --> 00:10:30,877
But today I had to take the bus,
206
00:10:30,877 --> 00:10:33,752
because someone slashed my tire
to get her boyfriend a job.
207
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,002
She's all yours.
208
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:38,334
Frank, come on, tires?
209
00:10:38,334 --> 00:10:40,918
Tires are really hard to slash.
210
00:10:40,918 --> 00:10:43,710
Which I would not know about.
211
00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:48,752
Okay, okay, okay. I am so sorry.
212
00:10:48,752 --> 00:10:51,460
But you know, you're kind of getting
a little flip-outty. A little--
213
00:10:52,376 --> 00:10:55,877
Flippy-outty, a little flippity.
214
00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,126
You're mad.
215
00:10:57,126 --> 00:10:59,752
And I understand that,
but you can get any job you want
216
00:10:59,752 --> 00:11:02,084
and Todd really, really needed that job.
217
00:11:02,084 --> 00:11:03,293
Did he?
218
00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,418
Did he need it
because his wife divorced him
219
00:11:05,418 --> 00:11:07,793
and he has to show a judge
that he's locally employed
220
00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:09,501
or he'll lose custody of his kids?
221
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:12,251
I don't know.
222
00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:16,334
Fine, fine. I have ruined your life too.
I will fix this. I promise.
223
00:11:16,334 --> 00:11:19,002
I'll talk to Todd and I will explain
to your ex-wife exactly--
224
00:11:19,002 --> 00:11:23,626
No. You go anywhere near my family
and I will run you down in the street.
225
00:11:24,209 --> 00:11:26,543
You'll need a pretty cooperative bus driver
for that.
226
00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,668
[LAUGHS]
227
00:11:28,043 --> 00:11:30,043
Not funny.
228
00:11:30,043 --> 00:11:34,752
Great. Now, to help Wes,
I just have to ruin Todd's career again.
229
00:11:34,752 --> 00:11:39,209
By the way, I'm happy,
and I never want your help.
230
00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:42,752
Dena, Dena.
231
00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:46,126
- This is a very good offer.
- I know.
232
00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:50,293
It's 30,000 dollars over the asking price.
233
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:52,585
I know, heh. That's a lot of money.
234
00:11:52,585 --> 00:11:54,251
In this market?
235
00:11:54,251 --> 00:11:56,752
With people all over this country
unable to sell their homes
236
00:11:56,752 --> 00:11:58,835
it's like spitting in their faces.
237
00:11:58,835 --> 00:12:02,918
You know, this was my mom's house.
I've never lived anywhere else. Heh, heh.
238
00:12:06,043 --> 00:12:07,376
Dena.
239
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:10,668
Do you know where your mother
is right now?
240
00:12:10,668 --> 00:12:12,668
- She's in here.
- In a wall.
241
00:12:13,043 --> 00:12:14,835
- I didn't mean literally.
- A mausoleum--
242
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:20,168
Okay, no, the point is,
she's not here in this house.
243
00:12:20,168 --> 00:12:21,209
She's in heaven.
244
00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:25,126
And your boyfriend's in the city,
245
00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:26,877
and Samantha's in the city,
246
00:12:28,668 --> 00:12:30,626
and that's where your future is, Dena.
247
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:35,126
Dena, I'm giving you the future.
248
00:12:37,084 --> 00:12:38,084
Thank you.
249
00:12:38,293 --> 00:12:39,877
[CHUCKLES]
250
00:12:40,501 --> 00:12:41,877
Oh.
251
00:12:45,043 --> 00:12:46,501
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]
252
00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:47,835
- Hey.
- Hey.
253
00:12:47,835 --> 00:12:50,460
- How was your first day?
- Great.
254
00:12:50,460 --> 00:12:53,334
Amazing. Sam, this job
is everything I've always wanted.
255
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:58,501
Really? Even better
than working at a camera store?
256
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:00,460
A camera store?
No, no, this job is great.
257
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:03,251
My editor walked me through the stories
I'm gonna be shooting.
258
00:13:03,251 --> 00:13:06,084
Gangs on the north side,
spring training with the Cubs,
259
00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:08,585
maybe London 2012. Yeah.
260
00:13:08,585 --> 00:13:11,585
Oh. "Maybe London 2012"?
261
00:13:11,585 --> 00:13:14,668
I mean what,
if you play your cards right or something?
262
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,710
Sure, if you wanna walk on eggshells
for the next four years.
263
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:19,418
No wonder you're so stressed out.
264
00:13:19,418 --> 00:13:21,752
- I'm not stressed out.
- Calm down, man.
265
00:13:22,334 --> 00:13:24,585
Breathe, chill.
266
00:13:24,585 --> 00:13:27,835
Look, you beat out Wes Green
for this job.
267
00:13:27,835 --> 00:13:29,585
You can do so much better.
268
00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:32,668
I-- I believe in you.
269
00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:35,710
Wait, what's going on?
You were so happy I got this job.
270
00:13:35,710 --> 00:13:37,877
Okay, all right I'll say it.
271
00:13:37,877 --> 00:13:42,918
Look, I-- I've seen your work
and, uh, it's not that good.
272
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:48,585
- Incredible.
- What?
273
00:13:48,585 --> 00:13:50,418
You just have to keep me down,
don't you?
274
00:13:50,418 --> 00:13:52,585
No. No, no, that's not it.
275
00:13:52,585 --> 00:13:54,251
Then what?
Why do you want me to quit?
276
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:56,293
Because--
277
00:13:56,918 --> 00:13:58,543
Because I--
278
00:14:00,918 --> 00:14:04,334
I really started to miss you.
You know, just--
279
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:06,626
It's really quiet around here.
280
00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:09,793
Yeah, exactly. When I was laying around
the apartment, you could handle that.
281
00:14:09,793 --> 00:14:12,960
You know, I bet this is why I never
got anywhere when we were together.
282
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,668
Well, I'm going somewhere now,
you know.
283
00:14:14,668 --> 00:14:19,043
I'm going out to dinner with my editor
and publisher. Deal with it.
284
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,043
- Sam?
- Huh?
285
00:14:30,585 --> 00:14:32,168
[PANTING]
286
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:37,418
You know, that Martha Stewart
is a wack-adoo
287
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,752
because this does not sharpen knives.
288
00:14:41,543 --> 00:14:42,918
Nope, that doesn't.
289
00:14:47,126 --> 00:14:49,002
You slashed Wes Green's tire?
290
00:14:49,002 --> 00:14:50,710
No, I tried reasoning with him first.
291
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:54,793
And I wouldn't have even been able to
slash the tire if Andrea didn't carry a knife.
292
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:58,126
You know what, hearing it now,
I bear very little responsibility here.
293
00:14:58,126 --> 00:14:59,835
So now I have to quit the job.
294
00:14:59,835 --> 00:15:01,460
Thank you so much for understanding.
295
00:15:01,460 --> 00:15:05,835
I mean, his life is in shambles, you know,
he's getting divorced, his tire was slashed.
296
00:15:05,835 --> 00:15:08,168
I mean because I don't deserve it.
297
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,543
Yes, you do deserve it.
298
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:10,960
And you will get the next one.
299
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,793
- No, he can have it, I'm done.
- Done?
300
00:15:12,793 --> 00:15:14,752
With photography? No. Why?
301
00:15:14,752 --> 00:15:16,877
Because on the off chance
you're not always there
302
00:15:16,877 --> 00:15:20,251
to slash someone's tire for me,
it's obvious I'll never have Wes' career.
303
00:15:20,251 --> 00:15:22,960
Yeah, well, you know what,
you would have if it wasn't for me.
304
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,501
- What?
- Huh?
305
00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:27,293
Thanks for doing my inspection,
Mr. Newly.
306
00:15:27,293 --> 00:15:30,960
Oh, not a problem. You know,
those licensed guys are a racket.
307
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,960
Carnies with a clipboard.
No, everything is fine under there,
308
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,043
but you've got a bluish stain on the sink.
309
00:15:36,043 --> 00:15:40,209
Yeah. You know, that's just from my mom
making a blueberry pie every Sunday.
310
00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:42,126
The new owners can bleach it out.
311
00:15:42,126 --> 00:15:47,251
What? No. Every time I go to rinse out
a glass it makes me think of her.
312
00:15:47,251 --> 00:15:51,168
You know what, I'm just gonna take
that sink with me.
313
00:15:51,168 --> 00:15:54,168
- Yeah.
- Well, they might notice that eventually.
314
00:15:54,168 --> 00:15:56,251
And here, this doorjamb,
this has all the marks
315
00:15:56,251 --> 00:15:59,084
from where my mom measured my height
every single birthday.
316
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:01,293
And oh, this asterisk by my thirteenth
317
00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:04,084
is because I wouldn't take off
my Darth Vader helmet.
318
00:16:04,084 --> 00:16:07,835
No, I'm-- I'm ripping that out, too. Yeah.
319
00:16:08,918 --> 00:16:10,209
HOWARD:
Uh-huh.
320
00:16:10,209 --> 00:16:12,043
- And the front door?
- Taking it.
321
00:16:12,043 --> 00:16:14,710
Yeah, that's where Chase and I
had our first kiss.
322
00:16:14,710 --> 00:16:17,376
And oh, I'm gonna need the floor
in front of the fireplace
323
00:16:17,376 --> 00:16:20,209
because that's the first place,
you know, we-- Never mind.
324
00:16:20,209 --> 00:16:22,209
But I'm gonna need that. Yeah.
325
00:16:23,543 --> 00:16:27,710
- Dena, are you sure you wanna sell?
- Oh, yeah, sure.
326
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:31,877
You know-- I mean, I signed a contract,
right? Everybody's counting on me.
327
00:16:32,251 --> 00:16:33,543
- So I guess--
REGINA: Hi.
328
00:16:34,293 --> 00:16:36,960
I just got off the phone
with the new buyers.
329
00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,918
They wanted to make sure
that you were lea--
330
00:16:39,668 --> 00:16:42,918
That you were leaving
the Snoopy mailbox. Ha.
331
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,002
Like you were gonna take that with you.
332
00:16:45,752 --> 00:16:46,877
[WHISPERS]
I want that.
333
00:16:48,002 --> 00:16:49,793
Regina, bad news.
334
00:16:49,793 --> 00:16:52,376
- This sale ain't gonna happen.
DENA & REGINA: What?
335
00:16:52,376 --> 00:16:56,376
Yeah, I was just down in the basement.
It's riddled with mold.
336
00:16:57,002 --> 00:16:59,752
Mold? So?
You hang up an air freshener.
337
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,918
Well, nobody's gonna buy a house
with mold, Regina.
338
00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:04,668
And now that you know,
you have to disclose it.
339
00:17:05,334 --> 00:17:08,002
Well, thanks so much for your help,
Mr. Science.
340
00:17:08,002 --> 00:17:11,501
You're not a professional and you cannot
say anything against your wife in court.
341
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:14,752
Dena, Dena, I'm gonna get
a bottle of wine and some painkillers,
342
00:17:14,752 --> 00:17:18,084
and by tomorrow you're gonna forget
that this conversation ever happened.
343
00:17:18,084 --> 00:17:22,084
[IN NORMAL VOICE] Wait, wait, wait.
Don't blame Mr. Newly, it's me.
344
00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:26,877
I'm happy here.
I have a good life, you know?
345
00:17:26,877 --> 00:17:32,501
I have a boyfriend and a best friend,
and a free house with a yard for my dogs.
346
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:35,209
People work their whole lives
to have what I already have,
347
00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,543
I mean, I don't wanna leave.
Ha, ha.
348
00:17:41,293 --> 00:17:42,710
[SNICKERS]
349
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:44,918
Okay, we got mold.
350
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:55,084
I don't even have a basement.
351
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,209
Well, I'm not a professional.
352
00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:00,877
- Thanks, Mr. Newly.
- Don't mention it.
353
00:18:00,877 --> 00:18:04,418
Oh, and your bedroom wiring is shot.
354
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,126
Oh. Tsk.
355
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,334
- Gotcha.
- No, I mean it.
356
00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:11,334
Fix it or one night you'll wake up on fire.
357
00:18:11,668 --> 00:18:13,084
[DOOR OPENS]
358
00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,626
A vacation? You screwed me out of a job
for a vacation?
359
00:18:17,626 --> 00:18:21,543
Okay, okay, okay, that's one scenario.
Now just flip it around.
360
00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:24,835
- I did you a favor.
- Oh, really? How's that?
361
00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:27,877
Say I did give you that message.
And you had gotten that job.
362
00:18:27,877 --> 00:18:31,752
I mean, maybe you would have gotten
a Pulitzer Prize and ended up like Wes,
363
00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:34,501
in a failed marriage,
not allowed to see our kids.
364
00:18:34,501 --> 00:18:36,710
Well, maybe
I wouldn't have neglected our kids.
365
00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:38,877
Yes, you would have,
you'd be gone all the time.
366
00:18:38,877 --> 00:18:40,376
What, and you're such a great mom?
367
00:18:40,376 --> 00:18:42,918
- At least I went to their soccer games.
- Wait, Sam.
368
00:18:42,918 --> 00:18:44,918
And the homework, it's so hard.
369
00:18:44,918 --> 00:18:47,084
- What are we talking about?
- I don't know.
370
00:18:48,543 --> 00:18:50,293
I'm just so ashamed. I'm--
371
00:18:51,334 --> 00:18:55,752
I am so, so sorry that I ruined your life.
372
00:18:58,251 --> 00:19:01,376
Well, I don't know if you ruined my life.
373
00:19:01,376 --> 00:19:03,626
Yeah, it was kind of ruined. By me.
374
00:19:03,626 --> 00:19:05,710
- It's not ruined.
- Kind of is.
375
00:19:05,710 --> 00:19:08,293
- It's not even that bad.
- You didn't see Wes' car.
376
00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,710
- Wasn't for me, you'd be driving that car.
- Okay, stop.
377
00:19:10,710 --> 00:19:13,418
- Can you drive a stick, though?
- Sam, come on.
378
00:19:13,418 --> 00:19:16,084
I know you think you pull all the strings,
but you're not God.
379
00:19:16,084 --> 00:19:17,334
You don't control the universe.
380
00:19:17,752 --> 00:19:20,168
That's very sweet, Todd,
but just not true.
381
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:23,835
Believe me, I would love to blame you
for everything bad that's ever happened.
382
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:26,877
And not giving me that message,
yeah, that was bad.
383
00:19:26,877 --> 00:19:29,334
You know, but since then,
I might have
384
00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:31,460
made a few wrong moves on my own.
385
00:19:31,835 --> 00:19:35,585
No, you said I always kept you down.
386
00:19:37,251 --> 00:19:39,043
Well, I was mad.
387
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:43,043
The truth is,
I've never been a big self-starter.
388
00:19:43,043 --> 00:19:45,543
When we were together,
you kind of kicked my ass into gear.
389
00:19:47,793 --> 00:19:49,334
Really?
390
00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:52,543
Which is maybe why
since we've been apart,
391
00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:55,585
I've kind of sputtered.
392
00:19:57,501 --> 00:19:58,501
Oh.
393
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,918
Quit. Recommend Wes.
394
00:20:08,918 --> 00:20:10,501
We'll find you something better.
395
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,002
Camera store?
396
00:20:13,835 --> 00:20:15,710
Even better.
397
00:20:16,793 --> 00:20:18,043
[SIGHS]
398
00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:19,334
[DIALING]
399
00:20:19,334 --> 00:20:23,126
SAM: Okay, so like I was saying,
except the opposite,
400
00:20:23,126 --> 00:20:27,043
it is a nice thing
to have people in your life. Duh.
401
00:20:30,418 --> 00:20:34,460
You just have to remember
that they're in charge of their own destiny.
402
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,251
- Give me that.
- And that you can't control them,
403
00:20:37,251 --> 00:20:39,918
- no matter how much you want to.
- Here we go.
404
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:48,251
No matter how much
they really need you to take the wheel,
405
00:20:48,251 --> 00:20:50,043
don't do it.
406
00:20:56,793 --> 00:20:59,543
All you can do is give them a nudge
in the right direction
407
00:20:59,543 --> 00:21:01,752
and hope for the best.
408
00:21:03,752 --> 00:21:06,877
The good news is, you'll have more time
to focus on your own life,
409
00:21:06,877 --> 00:21:10,543
to solve your own problems,
big and small.
410
00:21:12,209 --> 00:21:16,626
Like how to do a crossword puzzle
when you have amnesia.
411
00:21:17,668 --> 00:21:20,334
"I blank Lucy."
412
00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:22,293
Who the hell's Lucy?