1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:03,376 SAMANTHA: What happens when you achieve your dream 2 00:00:03,376 --> 00:00:05,710 running a multi-million-dollar charity foundation, 3 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:07,793 but you have no idea what to do? 4 00:00:07,793 --> 00:00:11,002 You're like a dog who chases cars and finally catches one. 5 00:00:11,002 --> 00:00:15,043 Now what? I guess you chew on the tire for a while until you figure it out. 6 00:00:15,043 --> 00:00:16,376 Wow. 7 00:00:16,376 --> 00:00:18,168 - Hi. - Tyler Banks, your temp. 8 00:00:18,168 --> 00:00:20,668 But I could see this becoming permanent. 9 00:00:20,668 --> 00:00:22,293 Well, it's nice to meet you, Tyler. 10 00:00:22,293 --> 00:00:24,710 I didn't know what you like so I got you all of them. 11 00:00:24,710 --> 00:00:26,877 Oh, okay, thank you. 12 00:00:26,877 --> 00:00:28,168 My, um, office? 13 00:00:29,334 --> 00:00:31,168 Is this okay? 14 00:00:31,793 --> 00:00:32,835 Mm-hm. 15 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,043 Oh, my office. 16 00:00:47,626 --> 00:00:51,334 [MUMBLING EXCITEDLY] 17 00:00:52,376 --> 00:00:53,918 I see a bookshelf right there. 18 00:00:53,918 --> 00:00:57,501 It's okay. I do the same thing every time I take over a company. 19 00:00:57,501 --> 00:01:00,710 Sorry, Sam. This guy just walked right by me. 20 00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:03,293 He does not have an appointment. 21 00:01:03,293 --> 00:01:06,293 Winston Funk. Name on the building. 22 00:01:06,293 --> 00:01:10,126 Tyler Banks. Name on the yogurt in the fridge. 23 00:01:10,126 --> 00:01:11,626 [WHISPERS] Tyler. 24 00:01:13,460 --> 00:01:16,334 So welcome to your company. 25 00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:19,835 Listen, we have a lot to talk about. 26 00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:22,793 How about scheduling something for, ooh, next week? 27 00:01:22,793 --> 00:01:25,543 Okay, um, how about lunch on Monday? 28 00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,626 No, I meant all next week. 29 00:01:27,626 --> 00:01:29,293 Jackson Hole has three feet of powder. 30 00:01:29,293 --> 00:01:31,835 Oh, you know, as tempting as that sounds, 31 00:01:31,835 --> 00:01:35,168 I do have $30 million of your money burning a hole in my pocket, 32 00:01:35,168 --> 00:01:37,043 and it ain't gonna spend itself. 33 00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:39,002 As long as you're giving all of my money away, 34 00:01:39,002 --> 00:01:41,209 we might as well give some of it to the Ritz-Carlton. 35 00:01:41,209 --> 00:01:43,334 Oh, you go. I need to find needy people. 36 00:01:44,126 --> 00:01:45,293 I have needs. 37 00:01:45,293 --> 00:01:47,960 - Pay people to take care of those. - I thought I had. 38 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:49,334 Now it's 40 million. Keep talking. 39 00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:53,334 Okay, Sam, I get it. You won. You got the job. 40 00:01:53,334 --> 00:01:56,501 Now I need to get down to business and find our first charity. 41 00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:58,126 Fantastic. I mean, you're so eager, 42 00:01:58,126 --> 00:02:00,418 why don't we call a press conference for next Friday? 43 00:02:00,418 --> 00:02:02,334 I don't need that much time. This Friday? 44 00:02:02,334 --> 00:02:03,835 - Thursday? - How about Wednesday? 45 00:02:03,835 --> 00:02:06,835 - Because today is Wednesday. - How about Thursday? 46 00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,334 [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 47 00:02:13,293 --> 00:02:16,376 I'm sorry, they just showed up. It might be the free money. 48 00:02:17,002 --> 00:02:20,084 I believe we said next Friday, right? 49 00:02:27,793 --> 00:02:30,209 Come on, Andrea, let me be in your wedding. 50 00:02:30,209 --> 00:02:32,668 I mean, all the celebrities are gonna be there, 51 00:02:32,668 --> 00:02:35,251 and I've never got to be a bridesmaid before. 52 00:02:35,251 --> 00:02:37,418 And, I mean, the closest thing that I ever got was, 53 00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,376 I was my mother's pallbearer. 54 00:02:39,376 --> 00:02:43,501 Well, I would give it some thought, but I have so many errands to run. 55 00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:47,126 And I just don't have time to think about it. 56 00:02:47,126 --> 00:02:50,710 Oh, I'll do it. I get it, I get it. I'll do it, I'll do it. 57 00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:53,501 SAMANTHA: Hey, hey, hey. Hey, I'm sorry. 58 00:02:53,501 --> 00:02:56,209 Oh, where have you been? You were supposed to be here an hour ago. 59 00:02:56,209 --> 00:03:00,293 I know, I know. I had a 5:00 with a landmine victim that ran over. 60 00:03:00,293 --> 00:03:02,835 I told him I had to run. I felt bad about that. 61 00:03:02,835 --> 00:03:06,793 Then I apologized for blowing him off. Yeah, that went well. 62 00:03:06,793 --> 00:03:08,126 Wanna hear a really sad story? 63 00:03:08,126 --> 00:03:10,877 They discontinued the bridesmaid dresses that I wanted. 64 00:03:10,877 --> 00:03:12,293 Yeah. Here's what we're left with. 65 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:15,793 I couldn't possibly look at this-- Oh, God, these are bad. 66 00:03:15,793 --> 00:03:17,543 I know. That's the whole point, 67 00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:20,334 to make you look like a clown so I can shine. 68 00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:22,501 Just not the corduroy. 69 00:03:22,501 --> 00:03:25,418 Oh, well you will make a lovely Southern belle. 70 00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:29,043 It's endless, I'm telling you. If I say yes to one charity, 71 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,002 I'm just saying no to thousands of other ones. 72 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:33,376 It's like I'm responsible for the entire world. 73 00:03:33,376 --> 00:03:35,877 I do not wanna decide who lives or who dies. 74 00:03:35,877 --> 00:03:37,752 You know, I'm not Santa Claus. 75 00:03:37,752 --> 00:03:40,334 Oh, uh, remember, we talked about that? 76 00:03:40,835 --> 00:03:44,168 It's this new you. You're too soft to say no. 77 00:03:44,168 --> 00:03:48,293 Yeah. What I need is the old me to come help the new me with this job. 78 00:03:48,293 --> 00:03:52,126 Yeah, and the closest thing you have to the old you is me. 79 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,002 Oh, my God, you're right. 80 00:03:56,002 --> 00:04:01,752 I hate disappointing the less fortunate, and you seem to get a thrill out of it. 81 00:04:04,002 --> 00:04:07,960 - Are you offering me a job? - Yes. Oh, come on, please do it. 82 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:11,293 - I'm really afraid I can't do this alone. - What does it pay? 83 00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,209 I don't know, I looked at the budget quickly. 84 00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,793 I think there's a seven in it. 85 00:04:14,793 --> 00:04:18,002 - I won't do it for anything less than a nine. - I can do eight, but that's it. 86 00:04:18,002 --> 00:04:20,168 - Yeah. - Yes. 87 00:04:20,168 --> 00:04:21,960 About this hummingbird choir, 88 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,543 you do know that they don't really hum. 89 00:04:24,543 --> 00:04:26,752 I want birds. And I want "We've Only Just Begun." 90 00:04:26,752 --> 00:04:28,752 You wanna be a bridesmaid, figure it out. 91 00:04:28,752 --> 00:04:30,752 - Okay. - Yeah. 92 00:04:31,126 --> 00:04:32,168 Hey, Andrea-- Oh. 93 00:04:33,043 --> 00:04:35,126 I'm sorry. I didn't know you were in a meeting. 94 00:04:35,126 --> 00:04:36,585 No, no, no. Come in, come in. 95 00:04:36,585 --> 00:04:38,126 - Sam, meet Philippe. - Hi. 96 00:04:38,126 --> 00:04:40,168 We've been going over his ideas all morning 97 00:04:40,168 --> 00:04:41,960 and we really need your opinion on this. 98 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,043 Great, fire away. Heh, heh. 99 00:04:45,918 --> 00:04:49,002 What do you think? He did J-Lo's first and third wedding. 100 00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,960 I'm sorry, Philippe, I really need to talk to Andrea. 101 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,209 So if you'll just step out for a minute, that would be great. 102 00:04:55,209 --> 00:04:56,251 Au revoir. 103 00:04:57,334 --> 00:05:00,543 Andrea, honey, we have a press conference on Friday. 104 00:05:01,126 --> 00:05:03,918 - Oh, my God. - Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying. 105 00:05:03,918 --> 00:05:06,710 Tony Dane and I have a press conference in an hour. 106 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:09,002 - Thank you so much for reminding me. - What? 107 00:05:09,002 --> 00:05:10,293 You cannot go. 108 00:05:10,293 --> 00:05:13,543 It is so good to work for a friend. Chapman was such a slave driver. 109 00:05:13,543 --> 00:05:15,084 I'll be back at 4:30. 110 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:17,835 Ooh, that's really not enough time to start anything then. 111 00:05:17,835 --> 00:05:20,209 - We'll hit it hard tomorrow morning. - Andrea, what--? 112 00:05:21,334 --> 00:05:22,460 Andrea. 113 00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:27,334 Hi, Cheryl, I'm Samantha Newly. 114 00:05:27,334 --> 00:05:30,793 Oh, okay. This isn't a proposal, it's a résumé. 115 00:05:30,793 --> 00:05:33,543 Yes. I saw your press announcement for the foundation 116 00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:36,126 and I was betting that you could use an in-house attorney. 117 00:05:36,126 --> 00:05:38,668 Cheryl, I'm so sorry, but we have already filled that-- 118 00:05:38,668 --> 00:05:40,209 Oh, wow, you've-- 119 00:05:40,209 --> 00:05:42,126 You've worked for a lot of foundations, huh? 120 00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:45,084 And it looks like you have a lot of grant applicants out there already. 121 00:05:45,084 --> 00:05:47,585 Oh, God, yes, I am so overwhelmed. I just-- 122 00:05:47,585 --> 00:05:51,002 Miss Newly, you really need to narrow your focus. 123 00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:54,293 - What is your mission statement? - Oh, my mission statement. 124 00:05:54,293 --> 00:06:01,043 Um, well, it is to boldly go where 125 00:06:02,002 --> 00:06:03,168 no man has gone-- 126 00:06:03,168 --> 00:06:06,168 Yeah, okay. So I don't really know what a mission statement is. 127 00:06:06,168 --> 00:06:09,334 What your foundation does and doesn't stand for. 128 00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:12,668 Oh. Good, evil. 129 00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:14,168 In that order. 130 00:06:14,168 --> 00:06:16,293 You'll find a lot of these guys are just hustlers 131 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,168 trying to take advantage of the new kid. 132 00:06:18,168 --> 00:06:20,626 The charity business is about knowing the players, 133 00:06:20,626 --> 00:06:22,460 and believe me, I know all of them. 134 00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:25,002 And I can help you sort these out in a couple of days. 135 00:06:25,002 --> 00:06:26,501 Do you have any questions for me? 136 00:06:26,501 --> 00:06:29,126 Um, yeah, just a couple. 137 00:06:29,126 --> 00:06:32,002 - Are you getting married? - Never again. 138 00:06:32,002 --> 00:06:34,209 And when can you start? 139 00:06:36,501 --> 00:06:38,126 Hey. What's going on? 140 00:06:38,126 --> 00:06:42,002 What's going on is, we need a new fridge. 141 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,710 Well, you don't throw something out every time it breaks. 142 00:06:44,710 --> 00:06:47,168 If we did that, how would we play our eight-tracks? 143 00:06:47,168 --> 00:06:49,543 Nope. I can fix this puppy. 144 00:06:50,002 --> 00:06:51,626 Not this time, I made sure of that. 145 00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:54,877 Hey, Dad, you're a boss. 146 00:06:54,877 --> 00:06:56,793 Have you ever had to fire a friend? 147 00:06:56,793 --> 00:07:00,668 - Ha. Howard, tell her. - You're not my friend, you're my wife. 148 00:07:00,668 --> 00:07:02,209 It was when we were first married. 149 00:07:02,209 --> 00:07:04,418 He was trying to save money. Surprise, surprise. 150 00:07:04,418 --> 00:07:08,168 Well, you're still married, so it must have gone okay, right? 151 00:07:08,168 --> 00:07:10,501 I had to have security escort her from the building. 152 00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,168 I lost two good men that day. 153 00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:16,084 I have Tyler. I guess this would give him a chance to die for me. 154 00:07:16,084 --> 00:07:18,877 Ah! I found it. Look. Huh. 155 00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:22,084 It looks like that wire's been cut. 156 00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:24,710 Beavers. 157 00:07:25,835 --> 00:07:29,710 I'll just tell Andrea it's the economy, how I'm downsizing. 158 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,543 She'll understand that, right? 159 00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:34,043 I mean, it's like, if we were friends and I fired you-- 160 00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:37,334 - You did. From our relationship. - I was downsizing. 161 00:07:37,334 --> 00:07:40,043 You see how much better that sounds? 162 00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,043 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 163 00:07:44,293 --> 00:07:45,877 - Hi. What's up? - Hey. 164 00:07:45,877 --> 00:07:48,002 Do you still have that book of Shakespeare sonnets 165 00:07:48,002 --> 00:07:50,877 that I gave you for your birthday? The one that you pretended to like? 166 00:07:50,877 --> 00:07:55,460 No, I loved it. Yes, it occupies a place of honor on-- 167 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:58,209 Over there somewhere. 168 00:07:58,209 --> 00:08:01,126 All right, now I'm gonna go fire Andrea. 169 00:08:01,126 --> 00:08:02,376 - Oh, have fun. - Yeah. 170 00:08:02,376 --> 00:08:03,626 Keep her in front of you. 171 00:08:03,626 --> 00:08:05,668 - Yeah. - Okay. 172 00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:09,084 Hi. 173 00:08:09,668 --> 00:08:12,585 Just pitching some spec vows to Andrea, you know. 174 00:08:12,585 --> 00:08:15,084 Still not a bridesmaid, but it's a foot in the door, right? 175 00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:19,002 Oh, here it is. 176 00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:20,501 [CHUCKLING] 177 00:08:26,168 --> 00:08:27,376 [GASPS] 178 00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:30,293 [SQUEALING] 179 00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:31,501 Oh, the ring. 180 00:08:32,084 --> 00:08:34,168 Oh, my God. Are you gonna propose to Sam? 181 00:08:34,877 --> 00:08:37,126 - Can you keep a secret? - No. 182 00:08:37,126 --> 00:08:40,543 Before the accident, I proposed to her. 183 00:08:41,168 --> 00:08:43,043 But you can't tell her. 184 00:08:43,043 --> 00:08:46,293 Oh, uh, you know-- Um. 185 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,168 Are you gonna propose to Sam again? Oh, ho. 186 00:08:49,418 --> 00:08:50,668 No, that's over. 187 00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:54,626 I've been wanting to get a place of my own. 188 00:08:54,626 --> 00:08:58,293 So if I hock this, I can afford it. 189 00:08:58,752 --> 00:09:02,168 No, no, no. You're giving up too soon. 190 00:09:02,168 --> 00:09:05,710 Oh, God, I mean, haven't you pictured your lives? 191 00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:08,334 You know, growing old together. 192 00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:10,168 - Yeah, I did once. - Well, do it again. 193 00:09:10,668 --> 00:09:13,376 Hey, hey, you know, they have computer software 194 00:09:13,376 --> 00:09:15,543 that'll, you know, age you, 195 00:09:15,543 --> 00:09:18,043 and you can see what you guys would look like. 196 00:09:18,043 --> 00:09:19,418 Or, hey, just get a mirror. 197 00:09:19,418 --> 00:09:24,293 Just get a mirror and kind of pull down, like, "I love you, Todd. 198 00:09:24,293 --> 00:09:26,710 I love you, Todd Deepler." 199 00:09:31,835 --> 00:09:35,835 Andrea, you may have noticed a downturn in the economy and-- 200 00:09:35,835 --> 00:09:38,002 Now, you listen to me, lard ass. 201 00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:39,793 - What? - I'm on the phone with Chapman. 202 00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:42,293 What? No. No, no, no. Don't do that. 203 00:09:42,293 --> 00:09:45,418 You can take your job and stick it somewhere the sun-- 204 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,710 Hello? What? 205 00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:51,002 I needed it for my phone cord collection. Stupid hobby. 206 00:09:52,501 --> 00:09:54,501 Oh, God. Um... 207 00:09:54,501 --> 00:09:56,668 Wait right here. I'll be right back. I just-- 208 00:09:56,668 --> 00:09:59,501 This completes my set, so... 209 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:04,543 Hey, girlfriend. It's 8:00. 210 00:10:04,543 --> 00:10:06,543 Didn't you get my e-mail about coming in at 10? 211 00:10:06,543 --> 00:10:08,209 Oh, I'm sorry, that's my worst fault. 212 00:10:08,209 --> 00:10:10,376 I'm the last one to leave and I'm two hours early. 213 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,168 - Yeah, yeah. - Who's that in my office? 214 00:10:12,168 --> 00:10:14,626 Aren't you just Miss Nosy Parker? Maybe I have a surprise. 215 00:10:14,626 --> 00:10:15,668 Now you're ruining it. 216 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:19,752 Who are you talking to? 217 00:10:20,293 --> 00:10:21,668 The ceiling guy. 218 00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:24,668 - Where is he? - In the ceiling. 219 00:10:24,668 --> 00:10:27,126 Were you not listening? Do I have to fire you for that? 220 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,543 What's going on? 221 00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:31,501 Well, maybe I was gonna surprise you, Andrea, but now you're ruining it. 222 00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:32,585 Who's that? 223 00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:37,002 I'm Cheryl Hainstock, vice president of Legal Affairs. 224 00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:42,293 Surprise. 225 00:10:44,293 --> 00:10:47,668 It works a lot better when she jumps out of the cake. 226 00:10:49,376 --> 00:10:50,668 SAMANTHA: Andrea, I am so sorry. 227 00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:53,918 It's just that Cheryl is just so much better than you are. 228 00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:55,752 Oh, that sounded bad. 229 00:10:55,752 --> 00:10:58,501 It's not personal, okay? It's just business. 230 00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:00,251 But you know what? 231 00:11:00,251 --> 00:11:03,293 In the business of friendship, you're still hired. 232 00:11:03,293 --> 00:11:05,251 You know what? I get it. I get it, stop it. 233 00:11:05,251 --> 00:11:07,460 - Come here, come here, come here. - What? 234 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,418 Oh, my God, thank you. Thank you for making this so easy. 235 00:11:12,668 --> 00:11:17,918 Wow. So are you gonna just go back to your old job, missy? 236 00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:21,043 Oh, yeah, you're gonna say to Chapman, "I'm sorry, my bad." 237 00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:24,084 And he's gonna be like, "You're in the doghouse, Belladonna." You know. 238 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:27,585 - Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. - I'm sorry? 239 00:11:27,585 --> 00:11:30,334 Hmm? Oh, you see, I signed a contract. 240 00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:34,084 So you can keep her, but I'm staying. 241 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,418 Um, and do what? 242 00:11:37,418 --> 00:11:39,626 Just act like nothing's changed? 243 00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:42,752 Oh, no, one thing has changed. You're not my maid of honor anymore. 244 00:11:42,752 --> 00:11:46,543 It's not personal, it's just business, missy. 245 00:11:47,084 --> 00:11:49,501 Right. No, I get it. 246 00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:53,877 So where's my maid of honor? 247 00:11:54,501 --> 00:11:58,002 I love this dress. Ha, ha. 248 00:11:58,002 --> 00:12:01,043 I mean, I don't really love, you know, this dress. Who could? 249 00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:03,877 But I love that I've been asked to wear it. 250 00:12:04,293 --> 00:12:05,877 SAMANTHA [IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]: Well, hi, y'all. 251 00:12:06,877 --> 00:12:09,543 Oh, Sam, I don't want any trouble. 252 00:12:09,543 --> 00:12:11,043 What are you doing here? 253 00:12:11,043 --> 00:12:12,418 Well, fiddle-de-dee. 254 00:12:12,418 --> 00:12:15,126 I'm here for my maid of honor fitting, sugar. 255 00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:18,043 Dena is my maid of honor now, honey pie. 256 00:12:18,043 --> 00:12:20,251 See, she's wearing the hat, the maid of honor hat. 257 00:12:20,251 --> 00:12:21,752 I am wearing the hat, Sam. 258 00:12:22,168 --> 00:12:26,418 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Yes, well, you asked me to be your maid of honor. 259 00:12:26,418 --> 00:12:29,752 And guess what? I'm not going anywhere. 260 00:12:29,752 --> 00:12:32,626 Now, let's talk bridal shower. 261 00:12:32,626 --> 00:12:38,960 I was thinking maybe some sloppy joes, some ribs, or maybe a dancing bear. 262 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,376 You don't have to rassle it. 263 00:12:40,752 --> 00:12:42,585 That's okay. That's Dena's job now. 264 00:12:42,585 --> 00:12:45,334 I have to wrestle a bear? What is the theme of this wedding? 265 00:12:45,334 --> 00:12:48,168 Oh, also, my maid of honor speech. 266 00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:50,376 Oh, no, no, no. No one said I had to make a speech. 267 00:12:50,376 --> 00:12:53,877 I was thinking about starting off with a dirty limerick 268 00:12:53,877 --> 00:12:56,209 [IN IRISH ACCENT] in a wee Irish brogue. 269 00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:59,626 I can't talk in public. I freeze up and I swallow air. 270 00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:02,585 - I cannot believe you're doing this to me. - [IN NORMAL VOICE] You started it. 271 00:13:02,585 --> 00:13:05,752 You lured me into a job and then you fired me. 272 00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:08,460 You took advantage of our friendship. 273 00:13:08,460 --> 00:13:13,460 I blew off a fake job to go and plan my wedding. Big whoop. 274 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,960 A fake job? 275 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,002 You got hired to do a job you know nothing about 276 00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:19,585 because the boss wants to get into your pants. 277 00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:21,376 - It's a joke. - Oh, yeah? 278 00:13:21,376 --> 00:13:23,002 You wanna know what a joke is? 279 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:26,084 Marrying a gay guy and thinking it's an actual wedding. 280 00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:29,209 You know what? It's so funny, people are laughing behind your back. 281 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,293 Oh, like they're laughing at you in Chapman & Funk? 282 00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:34,043 I wouldn't know, because the laughing 283 00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:36,668 that they're laughing at you is drowning it out. 284 00:13:36,668 --> 00:13:38,501 But possibly. 285 00:13:38,501 --> 00:13:41,543 Oh, a joke. I can start with a joke. 286 00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:44,334 And I can use my little hand puppet, Little Dena. 287 00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:46,793 You know, because she has the courage to say things I don't. 288 00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:49,710 Hello, everyone. 289 00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:54,960 Hi. Has that one been in yet? 290 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:59,334 She got a 911 text from an ice sculptor and flew out of here. 291 00:13:59,334 --> 00:14:02,168 Oh, good. Then we can get some work done. 292 00:14:02,168 --> 00:14:03,710 Almost done already. 293 00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:08,043 I divided the proposals into yeses, maybes and nos. 294 00:14:08,043 --> 00:14:11,126 - But there's only one pile. - Those are the nos. 295 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,752 Well, why even do the maybes then? 296 00:14:13,752 --> 00:14:15,543 I'm an optimist. 297 00:14:17,668 --> 00:14:20,002 You rejected the Red Cross? 298 00:14:20,002 --> 00:14:21,293 Showboaters. 299 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:26,668 "We're the Red Cross. We save victims of war and disasters." 300 00:14:26,668 --> 00:14:29,209 Um, Cheryl, 301 00:14:29,209 --> 00:14:33,668 I know we haven't quite pinned down the mission statement yet, 302 00:14:33,668 --> 00:14:38,043 but the gist of it is we give money away. 303 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,209 And that's what they want. Handouts. 304 00:14:40,209 --> 00:14:43,002 Hey, I could use a million dollars, maybe I'll apply. 305 00:14:43,002 --> 00:14:46,251 I worked my tailbone off for every penny I ever got. 306 00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:48,460 Nobody ever gave me a free ride. 307 00:14:48,835 --> 00:14:52,209 Well, that's nuts. 308 00:14:53,418 --> 00:14:57,418 Cheryl, have you noticed a downturn in the economy? 309 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,877 I'm not going anywhere, I signed a contract too. 310 00:15:02,209 --> 00:15:03,835 Dad? 311 00:15:04,168 --> 00:15:07,043 - What--? - Oh, it's you, I'm sorry. 312 00:15:07,043 --> 00:15:10,126 - Whole neighborhood's out. - Yeah, I saw that. 313 00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:13,126 So, what were the beavers trying to get this time? 314 00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:16,002 One of those fancy washer-dryers that talk to each other. 315 00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:19,501 All I did was yank a couple of wires 316 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:23,501 and now Mr. McClatchey's respirator is running off his car battery. 317 00:15:24,126 --> 00:15:25,877 The Abernathy kid picked the wrong day 318 00:15:25,877 --> 00:15:28,209 to bring the incubator chicks home from school. 319 00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:30,626 The high school hockey game... 320 00:15:31,002 --> 00:15:33,209 Let's just say we've had a day. 321 00:15:33,209 --> 00:15:35,126 Want some chardonnay? 322 00:15:35,710 --> 00:15:39,084 - It's warm, but it does the job. - Dad. 323 00:15:40,918 --> 00:15:42,585 Hey. 324 00:15:42,585 --> 00:15:44,668 Hey, sweetie. How's the boss? 325 00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:49,251 I suck. I have two lawyers, I have a thousand applicants, 326 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:52,835 and I have two days to start giving away $30 million. 327 00:15:52,835 --> 00:15:55,877 It is nothing but problems. 328 00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:58,209 - Could you hold that for a second? - Yeah, sure. 329 00:15:58,209 --> 00:15:59,835 Ow! 330 00:15:59,835 --> 00:16:03,084 Now, that, that's a problem. Okay? What you have is a job. 331 00:16:03,084 --> 00:16:05,960 - A job that you always wanted. - You just shocked me. 332 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:08,752 Well, so you stumble a little bit out of the gate, who cares? 333 00:16:11,168 --> 00:16:13,793 Do you think I knew what I was doing when I started out? 334 00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:16,501 I mean, it's not that I'm bad at it, it's just... 335 00:16:17,126 --> 00:16:20,043 The truth is, Dad, I don't deserve it. 336 00:16:20,043 --> 00:16:22,418 Andrea's right, it's just a joke job. 337 00:16:23,084 --> 00:16:25,501 And the only reason I have it is because some billionaire 338 00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:29,835 wants to get into my pan...tomime club. 339 00:16:29,835 --> 00:16:31,668 It's a very exclusive club. 340 00:16:31,668 --> 00:16:35,126 Here's a secret. Everyone is a fraud. 341 00:16:35,126 --> 00:16:36,960 Nobody knows what they're doing. 342 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:41,334 I mean, you think I have any idea how to fix this electrical panel? Mm-mm. 343 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:45,418 But I am not letting your mother win. That is not an option. 344 00:16:45,877 --> 00:16:49,084 Okay. I get it. 345 00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:50,918 - I just gotta do it. - Mm-hm. 346 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,543 It gets easier though, doesn't it, Daddy? 347 00:16:54,543 --> 00:16:56,710 Boy, wouldn't that be great? 348 00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:00,501 You know, for every problem you solve, you create three more. 349 00:17:00,501 --> 00:17:02,293 You know, and then you hire a staff. 350 00:17:02,668 --> 00:17:04,793 And then the staff has kids. 351 00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:07,168 Now they all wanna take the afternoon off 352 00:17:07,168 --> 00:17:09,585 so that they can take their kids trick-or-treating. 353 00:17:09,585 --> 00:17:12,376 I mean, since when did Halloween become a holiday, huh? 354 00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:13,626 Daddy. 355 00:17:14,501 --> 00:17:17,668 But hey, it's gonna be great for you, okay? 356 00:17:17,668 --> 00:17:19,002 Okay. 357 00:17:19,002 --> 00:17:21,960 For me, you know, 358 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:24,418 I think I've had a good run. 359 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,460 What? You're quitting? 360 00:17:27,460 --> 00:17:28,835 Yeah. 361 00:17:29,710 --> 00:17:31,877 Thanks for the talk, kiddo. 362 00:17:32,084 --> 00:17:36,460 Hey, Regina. We have to talk about the rest of our lives. 363 00:17:45,418 --> 00:17:46,960 What have you done to your father? 364 00:17:48,835 --> 00:17:50,002 Morning, Tyler. 365 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:52,501 Will you grab all the proposals and bring them to my office? 366 00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:54,168 And hold all my calls. 367 00:17:54,168 --> 00:17:58,002 I love your sense of purpose, and your bouncy ringlets. 368 00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:12,543 DOCTOR: Prenatal care would cost so little, 369 00:18:13,209 --> 00:18:17,334 and the effect on infant mortality would be enormous. 370 00:18:19,626 --> 00:18:21,835 WOMAN: It shouldn't be that easy to end up in the street. 371 00:18:22,376 --> 00:18:24,293 It should be hard. 372 00:18:25,376 --> 00:18:27,710 MINISTER: God asks us to save his children. 373 00:18:27,710 --> 00:18:33,168 Not to prove we're virtuous, but to fill our hearts with joy. 374 00:18:43,126 --> 00:18:46,877 --the recipients of the first Winston Funk Foundation grant. 375 00:18:48,376 --> 00:18:50,501 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE] 376 00:19:00,002 --> 00:19:01,376 Hey. 377 00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:04,002 What's this? 378 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:06,668 It's my resignation. 379 00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:09,084 I was wrong. You're not a joke. 380 00:19:10,543 --> 00:19:12,126 You ever wonder why we're friends? 381 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:15,334 - No. - Because the truth is, 382 00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:18,168 I have no idea what I'm doing. 383 00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:22,002 And you are the only person who would tell me that. 384 00:19:22,002 --> 00:19:25,293 It's because you and I will tell each other the things that other people won't. 385 00:19:25,293 --> 00:19:26,501 Or should. 386 00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:29,960 I mean, like you and your wedding. Who else is gonna say to you, 387 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,668 "Andrea, stop. What's up with the gay dude?" 388 00:19:32,668 --> 00:19:34,460 No one. 389 00:19:34,793 --> 00:19:36,418 But seriously, 390 00:19:36,626 --> 00:19:38,084 the guy's, like, super gay. 391 00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:40,460 I know. I know. 392 00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:41,793 [SIGHS] 393 00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:44,293 Okay, fine, look. 394 00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:46,668 When I was 6, 395 00:19:46,668 --> 00:19:50,793 I would play dream wedding like every little girl would do. 396 00:19:51,043 --> 00:19:54,334 And my cat would be the ring bearer, and I'd wear this big dress, 397 00:19:54,334 --> 00:19:58,376 and I'd have a big pink cake, and there'd be birds. 398 00:19:58,376 --> 00:20:01,835 And then when I got older, you know, I'd play divorce attorney. 399 00:20:02,585 --> 00:20:05,168 And now, the guys that I date, I don't wanna marry them. 400 00:20:05,168 --> 00:20:09,501 And if I did, I'd run off to Vegas or a courthouse or something, 401 00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:12,668 but the little 6-year-old still wants that day. 402 00:20:14,043 --> 00:20:16,710 You wanna take that dream away from a little girl? 403 00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:18,126 Nope. 404 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:21,126 You know that the cats would eat the birds, right? 405 00:20:21,126 --> 00:20:23,251 - Yeah. - Yeah. 406 00:20:23,251 --> 00:20:25,460 So, what do you wanna do? 407 00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:30,918 I want you and I to learn this job together. 408 00:20:31,460 --> 00:20:33,376 And I want you to get rid of the crazy lady. 409 00:20:33,376 --> 00:20:35,918 Done. I already have a plan. 410 00:20:35,918 --> 00:20:40,334 - Do I wanna hear it? - I don't know. Can you lie to a grand jury? 411 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,376 - Go. - Ha. 412 00:20:46,251 --> 00:20:47,460 SAMANTHA: With my amnesia, 413 00:20:47,460 --> 00:20:49,543 I can't dream about things I don't remember, 414 00:20:49,543 --> 00:20:52,043 so I dream about the future. 415 00:20:54,626 --> 00:20:57,460 Some people don't even wanna wake from their old dreams. 416 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:02,376 Some just need to make new ones. 417 00:21:05,460 --> 00:21:10,084 Me, for now, I have my hands full just living this one. 418 00:21:15,293 --> 00:21:17,002 Hey, you. 419 00:21:17,002 --> 00:21:19,418 SAMANTHA: Until the next one comes along.