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[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
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00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:06,002
SAMANTHA: I guess a lot of girls
have this princess fantasy.
3
00:00:06,002 --> 00:00:08,668
Living in luxury, totally pampered.
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00:00:08,668 --> 00:00:10,376
I'm trying to understand it.
5
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In fact, I'm trying really hard.
6
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There's no plastic wrap on the glasses
7
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and no paper on the toilet seat.
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Rich people don't care what they catch.
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I know, I'd better get used to this.
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00:00:24,501 --> 00:00:25,793
After I'm married tomorrow,
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I'll have to learn to become
self-indulgent and demanding.
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I'm tired of this song now,
change the CD.
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[MUSIC STOPS]
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Andrea, stop.
I can change the CD myself.
15
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If someone can carry me over there.
Could you?
16
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You have to learn
not to do things for yourself
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00:00:40,877 --> 00:00:43,585
once you and Winston Funk
are a power couple.
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00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,418
A power couple?
We just started seeing each other.
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I was actually thinking
of not bringing him to the wedding.
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You have to bring him.
I need famous people there.
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Matthew McConaughey?
He just dropped out
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because I told him
he had to wear a shirt.
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But that's the thing.
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The wedding's gonna be
on the news and TV,
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and if I bring Funk, people will see.
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People far away.
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- People in London.
- Like Todd?
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No, I was actually thinking
Prince Harry might be upset.
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Yes, Todd.
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Todd is not gonna be happy
about this at all.
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Oh, you had no choice.
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Todd is in London, Funk is here.
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Here versus there,
here is always better.
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Not if you're talking about a bear.
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
36
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- Oh! Hi.
- I thought you'd want Mr. Snowball.
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Chase, I was gonna try to go
one night without-- Thank you.
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You have to go, we're about to start
the bachelorette games.
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Really? Like pillow fights?
A little bath play?
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Yeah.
Yeah, you just missed the tickle party.
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Really? No, you're joking, right?
42
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- Are you?
- Yes.
43
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I wanna play
How Well Do You Know the Bride.
44
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You know,
I figure between Sam's amnesia
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and Andrea's blackouts, I'm a lock.
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Wait, what? Amnesia?
What do you mean "amnesia"?
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I told you that, right?
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When Sam said she was in rehab,
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but she'd really been in a car accident
and lost her memory?
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No? Did I not tell you that?
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She worked for me for an entire year,
she was our best performer,
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and she had no idea
what she was doing?
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- Amnesia?
- Oh--
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Oh, n-- Tickle party! Whoo!
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Lord, Howard.
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You were only on the road
for nine days.
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- How'd you make such a mess?
- I was exploring America.
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You think Lewis and Clark tidied up?
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What are these?
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Almonds.
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Those are my almonds.
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"Lightly salted"?
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Since when do you lightly salt anything?
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Okay. I picked up a hitchhiker.
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Oh, my God, a hitchhiker? Howard.
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I knew you were gonna react like this.
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Relax, it was just a young woman.
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You picked up a woman?
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I was never in any danger.
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I mean, she was just a little thing.
She was half your size.
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Okay. Time for party games.
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I know. Let's play
Hide the Bridesmaid. Go.
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No.
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This one's hysterical.
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Whatever she says when she opens it
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is what she's gonna say
on her wedding night.
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Here.
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I don't think that works
if the groom is gay.
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I'm pulling it, nothing's happening.
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Although I could be wrong.
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Just think. This could be our lives
if you were dating Funk.
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We wouldn't have to think or feel.
Just absorb.
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Like amoebas.
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[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
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- I don't know if it's me.
- I'll get it.
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Do you know he doesn't have any keys?
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I mean, he has a driver
and a valet and a butler.
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The man does not own a key.
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He owns a Florida Key.
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MAN: All right, we got the chocolate
mousse for two, lemon water for one,
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and a little something special
for the bride-to-be, care of me.
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It's Funk.
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"Enjoy your honeymoon on exclusive
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private San Madre Island
in the Grenadines."
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We tried that, it was booked.
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I know, that's why I bought it
and declared myself king.
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Feel free to bring a guest of choice,
who's free to bring a guest of choice.
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00:04:03,501 --> 00:04:05,376
I'm supposed to be impressed
you have an island?
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00:04:06,209 --> 00:04:08,752
Because you know what?
There's probably, like, at least
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ten people who have islands, so...
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After the wedding,
you'll be whisked to the airport
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on my private helicopter,
where you will board my private jet
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to San Madre Island.
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Phone ahead
if you want the kosher meals.
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- You want kosher.
- Till then, good night.
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- Do it!
- What? I don't--
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- Mmph!
- Oh.
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- Excuse me, sir.
- Yeah?
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If your boss will let you off work tomorrow,
you maybe wanna go to a wedding?
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Why, yes, prime minister,
it was a lovely ceremony.
111
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It was so good of you to come.
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Oh, drummer from U2.
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[PHONE RINGS]
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Yes, I agree, and it's a shame
that Bono didn't show-- Hello?
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Todd.
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Hi. Uh, nothing.
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Listen, I was gonna call you.
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There's something that I need to say.
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TODD: Hey, me too.
- Oh!
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I'm back to take you to the wedding.
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What wedding?
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Oh, orange juice, shoot.
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Darn it, see, this is why
you don't sneak up on people!
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Oh, and, hey, it's really good
to see you, by the way.
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- Are you sure?
- Yes.
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Just having
a crazy couple of days here, and--
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You know when would be good?
Two weeks from now.
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What's going on, Sam?
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Nothing. I just wish you would've told me
you were coming
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so I could have saved you a spot.
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Is that goat cheese?
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It's the same color.
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It's gonna be like Spackle.
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And what do you mean, my spot?
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- Are you going with someone else?
- Someone else? No.
136
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No, there's--
There are tons of people coming.
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Just like Andrea. Well, obviously.
138
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And Tony and his boyfriend.
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Dena. Maybe Andrea's mom.
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- And some guy from work.
- Funk?
141
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Um, I think that's his name.
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- I knew it.
- Look, I was gonna call you
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when I got off the phone
with the drummer from U2.
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Fine, whatever.
145
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You know, I'm glad I came back.
146
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I needed to get all my stuff anyway.
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And off to London you go.
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And of course, why not?
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It's what you do.
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You don't want me here,
now you don't want me to leave?
151
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You wouldn't have to leave
if you'd never left.
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I got a job. You said I should go.
153
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And then you went.
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Look, you know what, forget it.
We're just out of sync.
155
00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:38,626
You know,
we are relentlessly out of sync.
156
00:06:38,626 --> 00:06:40,710
You are in my bed,
you should be on the couch.
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You're on the couch,
you should be in my bed.
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And when you should be in Africa,
you're in Chicago.
159
00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:47,002
And when you should be in Chicago,
you're in London.
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Yeah? Yeah, well, I can beat that.
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You were mean as a snake,
then you were in a coma,
162
00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:53,501
then you didn't remember me,
then you wanted me, then you didn't.
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00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:56,501
The best time we ever had together
was when you were in a coma!
164
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:57,543
Maybe you should go.
165
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,918
Here, let me help you
take some stuff down.
166
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Never anything I can use.
167
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You need any more help? No?
168
00:07:10,877 --> 00:07:12,168
Okay, bye.
169
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Yeah. Well, it's been a nice trip.
170
00:07:14,209 --> 00:07:18,585
Fourteen hours in coach,
but totally worth it for this paperback!
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[DOOR SLAMS]
172
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HOST [ON TV]: Bells are ringing
for one happy couple today
173
00:07:28,168 --> 00:07:32,293
as basketball superstar Tony Dane
marries Andrea Belladonna
174
00:07:32,293 --> 00:07:35,710
in a celebrity-filled ceremony
in the Windy City.
175
00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:38,334
With the president in town
and traffic gridlocked,
176
00:07:38,334 --> 00:07:40,460
will they get to the church on time?
177
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:43,585
Superstar Weddings is there.
178
00:07:43,585 --> 00:07:46,002
I found these in the RV. What are they?
179
00:07:46,002 --> 00:07:47,877
- I don't know.
- They're pictures of you.
180
00:07:47,877 --> 00:07:50,293
At Civil War battlefields.
181
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,668
On four different days.
182
00:07:53,209 --> 00:07:55,126
Taken by your little hitchhiker,
I assume.
183
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:57,960
Because no way do you know
how to use the self-timer on your camera.
184
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,960
Well, Jenny was interested.
I mean, she majored in history.
185
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,585
Oh, you know her name?
186
00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:04,752
What, are you writing
her centerfold bio?
187
00:08:04,752 --> 00:08:08,293
She has a name, she goes to college,
she likes almonds,
188
00:08:08,293 --> 00:08:10,668
and her turn-ons are old men in RVs.
189
00:08:10,668 --> 00:08:13,918
I swear, Regina, nothing happened.
190
00:08:13,918 --> 00:08:16,002
Something did happen, Howard.
191
00:08:16,002 --> 00:08:18,084
You shared your life with someone.
192
00:08:18,084 --> 00:08:20,293
- Well, you didn't wanna go!
- I don't care!
193
00:08:20,293 --> 00:08:22,710
That's not your life to share,
that belongs to me.
194
00:08:23,376 --> 00:08:24,960
Okay.
195
00:08:25,668 --> 00:08:27,626
I get it. I get it.
196
00:08:28,084 --> 00:08:30,293
This is still your life.
197
00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:32,168
Our life.
198
00:08:32,501 --> 00:08:34,002
Come here.
199
00:08:39,918 --> 00:08:41,251
Is that a tattoo?
200
00:08:42,918 --> 00:08:44,668
REGINA:
I don't know.
201
00:08:45,585 --> 00:08:47,209
DENA:
Chase?
202
00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:49,460
Chase, I--
203
00:08:49,668 --> 00:08:54,084
Uh, I have to be at the church.
Why aren't you ready for the wedding?
204
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,002
I was up all night.
205
00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,668
Saw the sunrise.
206
00:09:00,168 --> 00:09:02,835
Has it always had all those colors? I--
207
00:09:02,835 --> 00:09:04,877
What else have I missed
right underneath my nose?
208
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:08,002
I know you're upset
about Sam's amnesia.
209
00:09:08,002 --> 00:09:11,543
I mean, she did the job
with no information at all.
210
00:09:11,543 --> 00:09:14,334
What does that say about the job?
Or about my job?
211
00:09:14,835 --> 00:09:16,710
Does anything really matter?
212
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:18,668
- Do we exist?
MAN: Two lattes.
213
00:09:18,668 --> 00:09:20,126
I mean, is anything really real?
214
00:09:20,877 --> 00:09:22,960
Come on, it is time for us
to get away together.
215
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,334
It is time for us to go away.
216
00:09:24,752 --> 00:09:27,668
You need to come with me
so we can find out what is really real.
217
00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:29,752
- No, I-- No--
- Yes.
218
00:09:29,752 --> 00:09:32,251
I can't just go.
You know, I can't just leave.
219
00:09:32,501 --> 00:09:35,460
I still have half a season
of Lost recorded.
220
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:37,626
I don't know
how to stop my newspaper.
221
00:09:37,626 --> 00:09:40,334
- I have dogs.
- Oh, do you have dogs?
222
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:41,918
Or do they have you?
223
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:45,002
Okay. This is why sleep is so important.
224
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:47,293
Chase, my life is very real.
225
00:09:47,293 --> 00:09:51,002
Now get dressed, because I have to help
my friend that hates me marry a gay man.
226
00:09:51,002 --> 00:09:52,668
What? He's gay?
227
00:09:53,168 --> 00:09:55,835
As we count down
to the Belladonna-Dane ceremony--
228
00:09:55,835 --> 00:09:57,960
Mom! Wha--?
Mom, what are you talking about?
229
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,209
You have to be here.
230
00:09:59,209 --> 00:10:01,251
I know traffic is jammed up,
but we'll wait.
231
00:10:01,251 --> 00:10:04,460
No. We cannot hold the start,
we have time booked on the satellite.
232
00:10:04,460 --> 00:10:06,251
- Who are you?
- I'm with the network.
233
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:08,793
We prepared for this,
we have alternate parents on hold.
234
00:10:09,126 --> 00:10:12,585
You choose. We like this guy.
He was on Veronica Mars.
235
00:10:12,585 --> 00:10:15,168
We share a lot of that same audience,
so they'll dig it.
236
00:10:15,168 --> 00:10:18,126
Okay, let's break down here
and set up at the church.
237
00:10:18,126 --> 00:10:20,543
This is the guy who set us up
right here.@^
238
00:10:20,543 --> 00:10:23,585
I don't know why I did that.
I really wanted her for myself.@^
239
00:10:24,585 --> 00:10:25,918
TONY:
Yeah, this guy here is crazy.
240
00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,543
I'm serious.
241
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:29,877
Don't marry her. I really wanted her.
242
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:31,168
[DOOR OPENS]
243
00:10:31,168 --> 00:10:33,960
SAMANTHA:
Hey. Honey, I'm so sorry I'm late.
244
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,084
Todd showed up. Surprise.
245
00:10:36,543 --> 00:10:40,376
Okay. Besides your toast to me,
let that be the most you say today.
246
00:10:40,376 --> 00:10:43,043
Okay, look, take this engagement ring
247
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,835
and don't give it back to me
until my wedding ring is on my finger.
248
00:10:45,835 --> 00:10:47,043
Okay, how's my dress?
249
00:10:47,043 --> 00:10:48,501
Um, it's fine. It's fine.
250
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:50,835
Little baby goats might follow you,
but that'll be cute.
251
00:10:51,835 --> 00:10:54,126
- Go get dressed. Here. Go, go, go.
ANDREA: Okay, yeah.
252
00:10:54,877 --> 00:10:58,585
HOST: Our cameras also caught the bride
in conversation with her friend,
253
00:10:58,585 --> 00:11:01,084
the unattached billionaire
Winston Funk.
254
00:11:01,084 --> 00:11:03,168
FUNK : You're a friend of Samantha's,
aren't you?
255
00:11:03,168 --> 00:11:05,460
ANDREA: Huh?
- She mentioned something about
256
00:11:05,460 --> 00:11:08,334
maybe seeing her
ex-boyfriend again or...
257
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,293
I don't know,
I guess that's a good thing?
258
00:11:10,293 --> 00:11:11,543
Ooh.
259
00:11:11,543 --> 00:11:14,877
- Funk, who has himself been linked--
- What was that? Excuse me, excuse me.
260
00:11:14,877 --> 00:11:16,918
Where's the rest of the tape?
I need to see it.
261
00:11:16,918 --> 00:11:18,752
Is it in here? Is it in here?
Come on, move.
262
00:11:19,835 --> 00:11:23,793
FUNK [ON TV]: What, is he like
a struggling artist or something like that?
263
00:11:23,793 --> 00:11:26,334
He's a photographer.
Local stuff, nothing special.
264
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:28,126
You know, not like magazines
or anything.
265
00:11:30,460 --> 00:11:33,626
Well, maybe he'll get his big break
one day.
266
00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:35,626
SAMANTHA:
He sent him away.
267
00:11:36,460 --> 00:11:38,960
He sent Todd away
so he could be with me.
268
00:11:39,752 --> 00:11:41,668
Well? Huh?
269
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,043
It's all fake.
270
00:11:43,376 --> 00:11:44,918
It's a setup.
271
00:11:44,918 --> 00:11:48,043
God, how could I be so stupid
to think that it was real?
272
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:49,877
If that's supposed to be
your toast to me,
273
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:51,585
then you should keep working on it.
274
00:11:56,626 --> 00:11:59,002
Sam? Our car is here, we should go.
275
00:11:59,002 --> 00:12:00,501
No, why don't you go?
276
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:03,418
I just found a really good episode
of Top Cook here.
277
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,585
You want a french fry?
278
00:12:05,585 --> 00:12:07,585
Here, you want some more?
279
00:12:07,585 --> 00:12:09,376
Something has transpired.
280
00:12:09,376 --> 00:12:10,752
You sent Todd away!
281
00:12:11,501 --> 00:12:13,251
- Yes, I did.
- Yes!
282
00:12:13,251 --> 00:12:14,793
You did!
283
00:12:14,793 --> 00:12:17,334
And you're busted.
284
00:12:19,168 --> 00:12:20,501
Why don't you seem busted?
285
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:22,251
For what, loving you?
286
00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:23,752
Loving?
287
00:12:23,752 --> 00:12:25,501
Love? Are you--?
288
00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:27,126
What? No.
289
00:12:27,126 --> 00:12:29,835
All right, what did I do?
What did I do, really?
290
00:12:29,835 --> 00:12:31,793
I offered Todd a job.
291
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,793
Okay? That's it. What am I, the devil?
292
00:12:33,793 --> 00:12:36,418
I can't compel people to do things
they don't wanna do.
293
00:12:37,918 --> 00:12:40,668
I didn't get to where I am
without being able to spot a winner.
294
00:12:40,668 --> 00:12:44,126
And you are like that tire factory
I bought in India.
295
00:12:44,376 --> 00:12:46,084
When the fir-- Look, I--
296
00:12:46,543 --> 00:12:49,752
That is not a romantic statement,
and I see that right now.
297
00:12:51,585 --> 00:12:54,376
Look, come on, now,
Todd wanted a job.
298
00:12:54,376 --> 00:12:55,418
I want you.
299
00:12:57,251 --> 00:12:59,334
And I wanna spend every day of my life
300
00:12:59,334 --> 00:13:02,835
just giving you everything
you ever wanted.
301
00:13:02,835 --> 00:13:05,084
If you like that sort of thing.
302
00:13:07,835 --> 00:13:08,960
You know what I want?
303
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:10,460
What?
304
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:14,752
I wanna blow off this wedding
and get the hell out of here.
305
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:17,084
And if I don't do it now,
I'm never gonna do it.
306
00:13:17,084 --> 00:13:19,626
- So let's go. Come on.
- Let's go.
307
00:13:21,126 --> 00:13:22,543
HOST [ON TV]:
The couple's star-filled--
308
00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:25,668
All right, next time you come back
to convince a girl that you want her,
309
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,460
don't bring a round-trip ticket.
It's not sexy.
310
00:13:28,918 --> 00:13:32,209
This coming from the guy who set up
the love of his life with her husband.
311
00:13:32,209 --> 00:13:34,209
In retrospect, it was a flawed strategy.
312
00:13:34,209 --> 00:13:36,418
The wedding will take place
at the local church
313
00:13:36,418 --> 00:13:39,168
where Tony was baptized as a child
314
00:13:39,168 --> 00:13:42,668
and where the Aunt Ethel
who raised him is still the organist.
315
00:13:42,668 --> 00:13:44,793
- Man, we suck.
- Yeah.
316
00:13:45,209 --> 00:13:47,585
I thought it was gonna be
like An Officer and a Gentleman.
317
00:13:48,626 --> 00:13:50,376
Come on, you know. The end?
318
00:13:50,376 --> 00:13:52,418
When Richard Gere
comes into the factory,
319
00:13:52,418 --> 00:13:55,293
scoops up Debra Winger,
and then just carries her right out.
320
00:13:55,293 --> 00:13:56,835
Doesn't even let her punch out,
321
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:59,002
he's not even sure
if she has personal time coming,
322
00:13:59,002 --> 00:14:00,251
he doesn't care.
323
00:14:03,126 --> 00:14:04,918
Well, then what?
324
00:14:04,918 --> 00:14:07,084
Well, then the movie's over.
325
00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:09,002
[TODD SIGHS]
326
00:14:10,334 --> 00:14:11,877
Seth?
327
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:13,668
The movie's not over.
328
00:14:13,668 --> 00:14:17,793
--Andrea Belladonna
in a celebrity-filled ceremony...
329
00:14:20,918 --> 00:14:23,293
You may see me on the news.
330
00:14:25,793 --> 00:14:27,126
A tattoo.
331
00:14:27,126 --> 00:14:29,293
It's a butterfly. And I like it.
332
00:14:29,293 --> 00:14:31,334
Oh, me too.
You know, I always wanted hepatitis,
333
00:14:31,334 --> 00:14:33,126
but now I can just get it from you.
334
00:14:33,126 --> 00:14:36,501
Look, I was sitting
next to this woman at a bar,
335
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,835
and she had these beautiful,
beautiful portraits
336
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:41,960
of all of her dead boyfriends
up and down both arms.
337
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,543
- They're called sleeves.
- You were at a bar?
338
00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:46,877
Yes. One night I was staying
at Samantha's--
339
00:14:46,877 --> 00:14:50,293
- You went into the city alone?
- Yes, Howard. Yes.
340
00:14:50,293 --> 00:14:52,084
While you
and Miss Hitchhiker of the Month
341
00:14:52,084 --> 00:14:55,418
were traipsing through battlefields,
I went into the city!
342
00:14:55,418 --> 00:14:56,585
And you know what else?
343
00:14:56,585 --> 00:14:58,334
I had sushi!
344
00:14:58,710 --> 00:15:00,168
You did not.
345
00:15:00,168 --> 00:15:02,293
As raw as can be!
346
00:15:02,293 --> 00:15:05,002
Hepatitis and parasitic worms.
347
00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:07,126
That's what you get in the city.
348
00:15:07,126 --> 00:15:11,293
Howard, I don't want to live in an RV.
349
00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,877
I'm sorry.
350
00:15:13,877 --> 00:15:16,752
I should have told you that
from the start.
351
00:15:17,418 --> 00:15:19,626
We're young.
352
00:15:19,626 --> 00:15:23,960
I don't want battlefields and cemeteries
and final resting places.
353
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,626
I'm not ready to rest.
354
00:15:25,626 --> 00:15:28,084
I'm too excited about our future.
355
00:15:28,084 --> 00:15:30,710
But that's what I wanna do in the future.
356
00:15:30,710 --> 00:15:32,668
I wanna look at the past.
357
00:15:33,002 --> 00:15:34,293
Not me.
358
00:15:34,293 --> 00:15:36,418
I'm just starting.
359
00:15:36,418 --> 00:15:38,585
I'm a butterfly.
360
00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:44,668
They have a life span of six days.
361
00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:46,293
DENA:
Andrea, it's Sam.
362
00:15:46,626 --> 00:15:48,501
Where are you? Why aren't you here?
363
00:15:48,793 --> 00:15:51,626
Hey, Andrea, I'm in a helicopter!
364
00:15:51,626 --> 00:15:53,168
So listen.
365
00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:54,793
Honey, I can't come to your wedding.
366
00:15:54,793 --> 00:15:56,626
I'm really sorry. It's--
367
00:15:56,626 --> 00:15:58,960
I finally figured out what it is that I want.
368
00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,251
I just can't miss this chance.
369
00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:03,710
I hope you understand.
370
00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:05,168
Listen, I can't hear you,
371
00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:08,793
so I'm just gonna pause
for your response!
372
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:11,334
No. I cannot do this without you.
373
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,376
Now get back here before I kill you.
374
00:16:14,251 --> 00:16:16,460
Thank you so much for understanding.
375
00:16:16,460 --> 00:16:18,084
Bye!
376
00:16:20,168 --> 00:16:23,918
Andrea Belladonna, I'd like you to meet
your mom and dad.
377
00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,418
The network wanted diversity.
378
00:16:27,418 --> 00:16:28,460
[ORGAN PLAYING]
379
00:16:28,626 --> 00:16:31,376
Okay. This is happening.
Let's get the bride in the chute. You, go.
380
00:16:31,376 --> 00:16:33,251
- Mom, move it.
- Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
381
00:16:33,251 --> 00:16:36,043
Those aren't my parents
and my maid of honor isn't even here.
382
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:38,126
- What is this?
- Now, you'll be fine.
383
00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:41,460
You know, when I worked
on Veronica Mars, I was scared to death.
384
00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:42,918
But I'm here for you, Andrea.
385
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,126
It's "Andrea." Dad.
386
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:46,960
[TIRES SCREECHING]
387
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,877
[CROWD CHATTERING]
388
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,209
PHOTOGRAPHER:
Wait.
389
00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:04,626
MAN [OVER PA]: Ladies and gentlemen,
Flight 46 has been canceled.@n
390
00:17:04,626 --> 00:17:07,835
Flight 46 has been canceled.
391
00:17:08,126 --> 00:17:09,793
GUARD:
Can I help you, sir?
392
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:20,460
You're gonna love my island.
393
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:22,960
Guess who's on the five-dollar bill.
394
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:25,752
Honey? What are you--?
My plane is that way.
395
00:17:25,752 --> 00:17:28,418
Oh, yeah, I know.
But I just remembered that you suck.
396
00:17:29,293 --> 00:17:30,668
But thank you for the ride.
397
00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,835
I never would've been able
to catch Todd without it.
398
00:17:32,835 --> 00:17:35,043
Sam? What are you doing?
399
00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:37,209
What, do you feel manipulated? Used?
400
00:17:37,626 --> 00:17:39,209
It's gotta be rough, huh?
401
00:17:39,209 --> 00:17:44,126
Because I am not your puppet
in your little puppet theater show, okay?
402
00:17:44,126 --> 00:17:46,168
You don't get to control my fate.
403
00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:47,877
Your fate. Okay, fate--
404
00:17:47,877 --> 00:17:50,626
There's no such thing as fate,
sweetheart.
405
00:17:50,626 --> 00:17:53,209
All right? Fate is what happens to people
who have no power.
406
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:55,084
Well, I do have the power.
407
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:56,710
I have the power to walk away.
408
00:17:56,710 --> 00:17:58,209
Check it out.
409
00:17:58,209 --> 00:17:59,668
See you at work on Monday.
410
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:06,209
Hi. Hi, I need to get my bag.
They said I have to ask you.
411
00:18:06,209 --> 00:18:08,002
This bag has been checked to London.
412
00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:10,376
- But I'm not going to London.
- Why'd you check it to London?
413
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:14,334
Well, because my girlfriend--
Ex-girlfriend-- Doesn't matter, forget it.
414
00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:17,418
You know what? I'll let the bag go alone.
I'll just get it later.
415
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:19,710
You checked a bag
you have no intention of accompanying?
416
00:18:19,710 --> 00:18:21,251
That's right.
417
00:18:21,543 --> 00:18:23,752
- Security to baggage services.
MAN: Security, copy.
418
00:18:24,043 --> 00:18:27,960
Excuse me.
Hi. Yeah. I guess I need to buy a ticket.
419
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,126
- Okay, where to?
- It doesn't matter.
420
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:33,543
Well, there's a flight to Hong Kong
that departs in 20 minutes.
421
00:18:33,543 --> 00:18:34,960
Perfect, perfect. One, please.
422
00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:37,585
I'm afraid that flight's sold out.
423
00:18:37,585 --> 00:18:39,835
Me, I think you'd enjoy Shanghai.
424
00:18:40,126 --> 00:18:43,418
- My college friends and I went there and--
- I don't care, all right?
425
00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:45,918
I just need a one-way ticket,
I have no bags to check,
426
00:18:45,918 --> 00:18:48,793
it doesn't matter to where, because
I'm not gonna end up there anyway.
427
00:18:49,251 --> 00:18:50,960
One sec.
428
00:18:51,793 --> 00:18:53,626
Security to ticketing, please.
429
00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:54,835
No, no, no. What--? Come on.
430
00:18:56,543 --> 00:18:58,793
It'll be a minute until a room opens up.
431
00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:00,626
You might wanna
take this time to relax.
432
00:19:00,626 --> 00:19:03,209
Oh, please, please.
Please, let me stop him.
433
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:06,293
Look, I know how this
is gonna go down. I do.
434
00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:07,710
He's gonna get on that plane
435
00:19:07,710 --> 00:19:11,002
and he's gonna meet some flight attendant
whose husband just died or something,
436
00:19:11,002 --> 00:19:13,626
and then they're gonna talk,
and she's gonna open up,
437
00:19:13,626 --> 00:19:16,460
and by the time they land,
they're sharing a flat together.
438
00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:18,168
We cannot keep doing this.
439
00:19:19,168 --> 00:19:20,835
I know, it's confusing.
440
00:19:21,084 --> 00:19:23,043
But, you know, people are confusing.
441
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:25,043
That's what makes them real.
442
00:19:25,043 --> 00:19:27,460
And I don't care if we're in sync.
443
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:30,460
As long as we're out of sync together.
444
00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,543
TODD:
Then shut up and tell him that.
445
00:19:32,543 --> 00:19:34,293
Todd.
446
00:19:35,043 --> 00:19:36,460
- Hey, no contact.
- Hm?
447
00:19:36,877 --> 00:19:38,376
Wait, I have something for you.
448
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:39,960
Me too.
449
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,877
- Sir.
- What? Dude, come on.
450
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,543
- No.
- All right, fine, fine. Open it for me.
451
00:19:46,376 --> 00:19:48,334
Go on. There, there. Can I have that?
452
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:50,126
Oh, man.
453
00:19:50,710 --> 00:19:52,710
- Will you marry me?
- Will you marry me?
454
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:57,877
SAMANTHA:
There's another kind of fairy tale.
455
00:19:57,877 --> 00:20:02,877
One built on star-crossed lovers
who fight against the evil empire,
456
00:20:03,293 --> 00:20:05,543
who find each other against all odds.
457
00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:08,084
No one can ever know about this.
458
00:20:09,126 --> 00:20:10,918
Got it?
459
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:13,960
Got it.
460
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:17,251
- Now shut up and spoon me.
- Oh.
461
00:20:17,251 --> 00:20:18,960
- So nasty.
- Ahh.
462
00:20:19,543 --> 00:20:21,209
So where to?
463
00:20:21,209 --> 00:20:24,209
I've got 5 million frequent-flier miles
and two years of French.
464
00:20:24,209 --> 00:20:25,460
We're free.
465
00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:27,168
Nothing to tie us down.
466
00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:28,877
You hear that? We're free.
467
00:20:28,877 --> 00:20:31,877
You boys like your freedom.
Yes, you do.
468
00:20:31,877 --> 00:20:33,877
Time for somebody's pill, huh?
469
00:20:33,877 --> 00:20:36,251
Hey, Frank. Guess what.
470
00:20:36,626 --> 00:20:37,752
We're getting married.
471
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:39,710
Well, I wish you luck.
472
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:41,251
Aw, thanks, Frank.
473
00:20:41,251 --> 00:20:43,710
What--? What are you doing? Oh.
474
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:47,084
Wait, hold on, hold on.
I have to get my keys.
475
00:20:47,084 --> 00:20:48,334
He has keys.
476
00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,752
Lots and lots and lots of luck.
477
00:20:56,126 --> 00:20:58,877
That last one?
Now that's my kind of fairy tale.
478
00:20:58,877 --> 00:21:00,752
Where true love trumps all
479
00:21:00,752 --> 00:21:03,376
and they live happily ever after.
480
00:21:03,376 --> 00:21:05,793
- Mom.
- I've left your father.
481
00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,543
Now, it's nothing you did.
482
00:21:07,877 --> 00:21:11,877
We both love you just the same,
we're just gonna live in different places.
483
00:21:11,877 --> 00:21:13,126
I'm gonna live here.
484
00:21:14,293 --> 00:21:17,084
But does everything
have to be so brown?
485
00:21:17,084 --> 00:21:18,501
Let's get some color in here.