1
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Previously on Californication...

2
00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:05,587
How come you never told me
Bill's daughter was a writer?

3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:09,133
This young woman's written what
could be the book of the year.

4
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:10,342
Is that right?

5
00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,221
The girl's gonna sell five million copies
based on the jacket photo alone.

6
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,391
- People are gonna recognise my writing.
- No, see, I covered my tracks.

7
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:20,019
I added little bits of me
when I retyped it.

8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,272
You have done some fucked-up
shit in your time,

9
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,899
- but I didn't think you'd do that.
- Not knowingly.

10
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,152
I'll take the book off the counter...
you say the word.

11
00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,611
- There are offers?
- Many.

12
00:00:29,654 --> 00:00:30,904
Well, then I'm fucked.

13
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,494
Baby, come on...
hey, we were taking a break!

14
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,956
- Are you totally serious about marrying Bill?
- Yes.

15
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,332
What about Hank?

16
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:46,420
- Are you questioning things?
- I question everything... it's very healthy.

17
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:49,298
I just think you can't
run off and marry a guy

18
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:52,009
after making sweet love to yours truly.

19
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♪ If you're all alone and you need someone

20
00:01:00,935 --> 00:01:04,980
♪ Call me up and I'll come running

21
00:01:05,023 --> 00:01:11,862
♪ Reconsider me

22
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,739
♪ If it's still the past ♪

23
00:01:13,782 --> 00:01:16,867
If anyone knows of a reason
why this couple should not wed,

24
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speak now or forever hold your peace.

25
00:01:20,663 --> 00:01:23,165
♪ Reconsider me

26
00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:28,087
♪ Reconsider me ♪

27
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,257
What?

28
00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:39,389
Uh, wait, hold on. Hold on.

29
00:01:39,432 --> 00:01:41,016
Stop. One minute. Time out.

30
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:45,604
Since you are bringing it up,
there is something I would like to express.

31
00:01:45,647 --> 00:01:48,273
I just want to put it on the table.

32
00:01:48,316 --> 00:01:51,110
Karen, I've got a car...

33
00:01:51,152 --> 00:01:52,653
There's more.

34
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:55,072
You just say the word,
and I'll pull it around front.

35
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,659
You get in, you grab the Becca, off we go.

36
00:01:58,701 --> 00:02:00,911
Bill, I'm sorry... you're not invited.

37
00:02:00,954 --> 00:02:04,039
Doesn't have much of a back seat.

38
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:08,794
What do you say, Karen? It's not too late.

39
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,046
It's never too late.

40
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,509
♪ Reconsider me ♪

41
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,637
Aaaaahh!

42
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,931
Slow down!

43
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,767
(Exhales sharply)

44
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:38,740
(Breathing heavily)

45
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,830
Are you OK?

46
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,415
Oh, sweetie.

47
00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:49,459
Yeah. Just a bad dream.

48
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,295
Better get moving...

49
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,006
Wedding's at three.

50
00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:56,967
I laid out your clothes.

51
00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,845
There's coffee.

52
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:04,892
Oh, happy day.

53
00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:56,735
OK, the fucking bunny
goes around the fucking left...

54
00:03:56,778 --> 00:03:59,863
(Footsteps approach)

55
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,574
(Gasps)

56
00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:05,827
Oh, my God, honey.
You look so beautiful.

57
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:08,038
- Dad?
- Yeah?

58
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,999
- It happened.
- What happened?

59
00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,835
It.

60
00:04:13,878 --> 00:04:16,255
- It what?
- It!

61
00:04:16,297 --> 00:04:18,632
- It?
- The it!

62
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,386
Oh, it! Shit.

63
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,971
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie.

64
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:26,807
I should have been set up
for such a momentous event

65
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,600
in the life of a young woman.

66
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:31,728
I should have had some
kind of kit prepared.

67
00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,855
Are you OK? Do you need to sit down?

68
00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:37,359
Are you there, Dad? It's me... Becca. I'm
fine.

69
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,611
I'm not going to die or anything.
I just got my period.

70
00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,196
Shh-shh-shh!

71
00:04:41,239 --> 00:04:43,073
- Can we keep moving?
- Yeah.

72
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,579
Aha! OK.

73
00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,958
- Whoa, whoa... oh, dear.
- What?

74
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:56,169
- I kinda need those.
- I probably need them more than you.

75
00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:00,549
- Uh, well, let me buy them off you.
- No.

76
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,051
- Can I buy a couple?
- Ew, no!

77
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,178
Let me just buy a couple tampons from you.

78
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,307
- I can't buy one tampon? One tampon.
- No, I won't sell you one tampon.

79
00:05:08,349 --> 00:05:09,933
I can't buy one...
Do you have any cash?

80
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:12,769
Here's an idea...
why don't you try another store?

81
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,521
They make a lot of these things, you know?

82
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,982
You don't understand. I'm in a big hurry.

83
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,859
I need those actual tampons.

84
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,110
- Bye now.
- Hey!

85
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,446
Lady, you know what? You are not very nice.

86
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:24,156
Excuse me?

87
00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:26,158
If I was in the market for, say...

88
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:28,285
I don't know, adult diapers,

89
00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,537
and some poor, incontinent soul walked by

90
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:32,164
who obviously needed them more than I did,

91
00:05:32,206 --> 00:05:33,623
I would surrender those diapers.

92
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:35,792
Good to know, asshole!

93
00:05:35,835 --> 00:05:38,420
- Everything OK?
- This guy's being a total dick.

94
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,964
He's trying to steal my tampons.

95
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,342
Why do you want to steal
a woman's tampons?

96
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,344
I wasn't trying to steal her tampons.

97
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,220
I was trying to buy them off her.

98
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,723
OK. What the fuck you want to buy
my wife's tampons for?

99
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,642
You two are a charming couple.
You been together long?

100
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,770
Are you looking to get your ass kicked?

101
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:58,231
Normally, I'd say, "Go for it...
kick his ass,"

102
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:01,026
but we're running out of time here, Dad.

103
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,820
Sweetie, you're right.
When you're right, you're right.

104
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,739
Let's blow this Popsicle stand.

105
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,075
Hey, enjoy the shit out of your tampons.

106
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,534
Thanks a lot.

107
00:06:09,577 --> 00:06:11,953
Go, Becca. Becca, go!

108
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,997
- Come here!
- Go! Go!

109
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,582
- Becca!
- (Woman) Honey!

110
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,001
By the Heineken! Yeah! You're open!

111
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,461
- Yes!
- (Crash)

112
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,713
(Both grunting)

113
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,925
She's the one who needs them?

114
00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:27,761
No, they're for me.
I like to use them as earplugs.

115
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,348
- First time?
- First time.

116
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,476
- Where's your mother?
- She's getting married today.

117
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,977
We're on our way to the wedding.

118
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:39,147
Oh, she's not married
to your father... what a surprise.

119
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,692
Do you need some help, sweetie?

120
00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:45,278
That's not a terrible idea, honey.

121
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,039
I'm sorry.

122
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,999
What are you gonna do?

123
00:06:58,042 --> 00:06:59,960
When it comes to the woman I love,

124
00:07:00,002 --> 00:07:02,003
I don't think, I just act.

125
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,965
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I messed you all up.

126
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:08,051
- Nah, it's cool.
- I'm sorry, man.

127
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,428
- Am I good?
- Yeah.

128
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:11,847
- How's the hair?
- Looks good.

129
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,892
(Bill) We're a blended family,
and I want the kids on that side...

130
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:21,022
- (Mia) Hey, Dad.
- Hey.

131
00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,567
Where's Karen? Cold feet?

132
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:27,070
That's very sweet of you, honey,
and very supportive.

133
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:31,241
Throw a couple of drinky-poos in her, a
roofie or two... she's not going anywhere.

134
00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,701
Hey!

135
00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:36,079
You're lucky I have a very
sophisticated sense of humour.

136
00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:38,248
You'll miss my dark, sardonic wit

137
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:41,543
when I'm criss-crossing
the nation on my book tour.

138
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,795
Yes, um... about your book.

139
00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:45,338
You read it? What'd you think?

140
00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,924
Well, uh, I wanted to save this

141
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,511
until after we got back
from the honeymoon, but...

142
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,847
I can't, in good conscience,
let you publish it,

143
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,807
not given the current national climate.

144
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:58,727
- What the fuck are you talking about?
- Mia, watch your language.

145
00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,061
Where is this coming from?

146
00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:04,149
Believe it or not, I'm fairly
successful at what I do,

147
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,777
and something called...
Fucking And Punching

148
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,030
by my 16-year-old daughter

149
00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:12,199
might bring me
some undesirable attention.

150
00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,367
You can't do this. It's my book.
I wrote it.

151
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:16,578
I can do whatever the fuck I want with it.

152
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:18,788
I'm in business with
half of these publishers.

153
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:20,916
If I want to make something
go away, it goes away.

154
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:25,128
That's not what this is about...
your reputation.

155
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:28,381
Well, the content is a little unsettling,
wouldn't you agree?

156
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,134
The whole thing reads like
some teenage girl's fantasy

157
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,845
about having an affair
with some depraved asshole

158
00:08:33,888 --> 00:08:37,807
who bears a striking resemblance
to my least favourite American novelist.

159
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,061
What makes you think it's fantasy?

160
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,483
Mia.

161
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,904
(Sighs)

162
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,822
- Take a hit.
- No!

163
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,492
I can't get high on my wedding day.

164
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,370
Yes, you can. "Yes, I did."

165
00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:01,039
Yeah, and look how that ended up.

166
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:06,419
Now, you're aware that once you
say, "I do," it's gonna be you...

167
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:07,963
(Spits)

168
00:09:08,005 --> 00:09:11,758
and Bill's baby arm for
the rest of your life.

169
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,344
- Can you handle that shit?
- That's big.

170
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,889
A baby arm is very big, Marcy.
That's gonna hurt.

171
00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,350
Especially in the ass.

172
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,852
Has Bill requested the ass yet?

173
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,815
- No, and he's not gonna get it!
- Not even on his wedding night?

174
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:30,402
You don't deny your man the ass.
You give it to him.

175
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,280
Because once he knows he can have that,

176
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:36,950
he ain't gonna want that shit
any more... believe that.

177
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:40,996
Yeah, man, the ass is always greener.

178
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:47,794
Seriously, though,
I think you're doing the right thing here.

179
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:51,339
You are so fucking full of shit.
You hated him.

180
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:54,050
Last week, you said he made
your flavia shrivel.

181
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,385
My labia.

182
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,514
Sorry. No one was
a bigger hater than me,

183
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,766
- But Bill's a good guy.
- He is!

184
00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,977
- He's a man of substance.
- Yes! Yes.

185
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,854
- He's not a lost boy.
- No.

186
00:10:05,896 --> 00:10:09,149
Cos believe me, once you've
seen the love of your life

187
00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:12,527
hit in the face with
another woman's ejaculate,

188
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,405
your perspective changes.

189
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,073
It fucks you up.

190
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,909
You lose your innocence.
That shit is fucked up.

191
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,333
Hey, Marce...

192
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,210
I slept with Hank.

193
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,007
OK, either I'm really fucking baked,

194
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,968
or you just told me that you boned Hank.

195
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,095
His dad had just died, so...

196
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,641
- You're such a slut!
- I know.

197
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:45,560
- Was it good?
- Yeah...

198
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:49,022
- It was sad.
- Like coming and crying sad,

199
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:52,525
or like dirty and shameful sad?

200
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:56,655
- (Crying) I don't know.
- No, no, no, you stupid bitch!

201
00:10:56,697 --> 00:10:58,490
- You're gonna fuck your make-up!
- I'm good.

202
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:00,533
Oh, happy thoughts!

203
00:11:08,042 --> 00:11:11,920
- What up, Runkle?
- Hey there.

204
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:15,298
You better pace yourself, young lady.

205
00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:16,758
Why? I'm fucked.

206
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,636
My dad won't let me publish
Fucking And Punching.

207
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,638
National climate, and whatnot.

208
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,557
Really? I don't really know
what you're talking about,

209
00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,435
national climate and whatnot,
but that's good news.

210
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:30,021
You got what was coming to you after all.

211
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,857
What do you know about it?

212
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,735
I know you fucked and punched him...

213
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,946
set him up, stole his book.

214
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,824
Oh, ho-ho-ho, what are you
gonna do about it, huh?

215
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,075
Spank me?

216
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,995
You ladies talk about
everything, don't you?

217
00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:47,747
Just the stuff worth talking about.

218
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:49,833
How long it take her to drop that one?

219
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,334
Two sips of a soy macchiato,

220
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:55,547
but, hey, I always knew
you had a little bit of kink in you.

221
00:11:55,631 --> 00:11:58,007
I could tell.

222
00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:00,343
Yeah? You looking to get
a little of that now?

223
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,887
You do realise
you're hitting on a teenage girl?

224
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:04,597
I thought that was your "thang".

225
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,016
Ugh. Gross.

226
00:12:07,059 --> 00:12:10,145
At least it all worked out for the
best, right? Hank gets his book back,

227
00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:13,398
and you get to crawl back
to the hole from whence you came.

228
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:16,484
(Scoffs) Hey, fuck that, Runkle.

229
00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:19,320
This ain't over till it's over.

230
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,075
(♪ Rock music blaring)

231
00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:36,337
- You, Lilliputian... you're going with me.
- Don't scratch it.

232
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:38,298
And you... she wants to talk to you.

233
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:40,258
You had sex with her!

234
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,927
- She told you?
- She told me.

235
00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,929
And you gotta hit that shit again...

236
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,931
give her some of that daddy dick.

237
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:48,975
Fuck her into doing the right thing here.

238
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:51,811
(Laughing) There's something
seriously wrong with you,

239
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,396
And you're stoned.

240
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:56,524
Shhh! Don't be harsh.
You're freaking me out.

241
00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:58,693
Behave yourself.

242
00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,161
Wow...

243
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,997
You look incredible...

244
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:15,290
except for the makeup,
which is a little hooker-ish.

245
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,712
Maybe that's what you're going for,
I don't know.

246
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:18,922
Shut up.

247
00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:21,966
What took you so long? Where is she?

248
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,469
There was bad traffic on the PCH...

249
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:29,015
- You're so full of...
and Becca got her period.

250
00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,850
What? She did?

251
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:34,103
Makes perfect sense it would happen
on my watch, doesn't it?

252
00:13:34,146 --> 00:13:36,314
Oh, my God. How is she? What did you do?

253
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:39,359
What do you think?
I handled the fuck out of that shit.

254
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,570
- You did?
- Yeah.

255
00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:43,947
- You mean you showed her how to...
- Oh, God, no.

256
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,825
There was this very nice lady
at the supermarket that helped us out.

257
00:13:46,867 --> 00:13:48,785
Jesus Christ, Hank!

258
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,538
Fuck! It wasn't supposed to be like this.

259
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:54,082
I wasn't supposed
to be marrying some other guy,

260
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:57,919
and you weren't supposed to flush
your fucking career down the toilet,

261
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,046
and Becca wasn't supposed
to start her period

262
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,341
and some strange woman show her
how to use a tampon for the first time.

263
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:05,969
All those things that
weren't supposed to happen...

264
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:07,387
They happened.

265
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,933
What happens next is up to you.

266
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:15,061
I'm going through with it, Hank.

267
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,272
Go through with it, Karen.

268
00:14:17,314 --> 00:14:20,900
- I can't cancel. It's not that simple.
- I'm not asking you to.

269
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:25,613
I'm not gonna make some grand, romantic
gesture and ruin your wedding day.

270
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:28,116
You're not?

271
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:32,287
- You promise?
- I promise.

272
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,167
Good luck out there.

273
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:46,551
(Door opens and closes)

274
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:51,347
(Woman) And if anyone knows any reason
why these two should not be wed,

275
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,309
please speak now
or forever hold your peace.

276
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,647
Bill.

277
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:02,734
Yoo-hoo! Over here!

278
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,236
Mia, what are you doing?

279
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:08,740
Excuse me, I was told to speak
now or forever hold my peace.

280
00:15:08,782 --> 00:15:11,284
Was that just bullshit
or can I file my grievance?

281
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,871
- Oh, this could be interesting.
- Um...

282
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,959
Yeah, I just don't think that
I can fully endorse this union.

283
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,462
Get a load of the balls on this chick.

284
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:26,257
I told you we should cut this part
from the ceremony. It's totally antiquated.

285
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:29,510
Let her speak, OK? Mia? Come on.

286
00:15:31,388 --> 00:15:34,182
OK, first of all, you two
don't even love each other.

287
00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,976
Yeah, you don't even know what love is.

288
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,603
I love your dad... of course I do.

289
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,940
Karen, all due respect...
give me a fucking break.

290
00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:44,192
- You're still in love with Hank.
- (Bill) Mia, that's enough.

291
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,111
- And you know what? You should be.
- (Both) Bbrooop!

292
00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:49,113
He's obviously the guy for you.

293
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,324
OK, I am so fucking high right now.

294
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:55,578
Dad, I want you to be happy... I do.

295
00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,748
You totally deserve it. You got a bum deal.

296
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:02,835
You loved someone with your whole heart...
I know you did...

297
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,837
And they up and died on you.

298
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:10,426
That sucks... but you gotta get real.
You can't just play house.

299
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,720
(Hank) It's good.

300
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:14,180
- Fuck!
- Hold on.

301
00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,598
If you marry Karen,

302
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:18,441
you're always gonna be staring
down the barrel of Hank, simple as that.

303
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:23,106
- Let's take a little walk.
- You'd like that, wouldn't you?

304
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,566
We're gonna get some coffee,
smoke some cigarettes...

305
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,652
Come here.

306
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:31,114
Let it go. All right? Just let it go.

307
00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,740
If I can, you can.

308
00:16:32,783 --> 00:16:34,409
It doesn't mean anything.

309
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:36,035
You think you can just shut me up?

310
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,204
Of course you do, Hank...
just like you thought

311
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,248
you could fuck me
and never talk to me again.

312
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:43,710
- (Murmuring)
- Hank, what is she talking about?

313
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,046
Do you want to tell them or should I?

314
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,467
You fucked her, didn't you?

315
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,263
(Gasping)

316
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,933
OK, you want to do this?

317
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,393
For real?

318
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,271
Do it right... tell them the truth.

319
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:06,065
Hank, what did you do?

320
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:09,277
Tell them.

321
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,696
Did you, or did you not, sleep with him?

322
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,544
Of course not.

323
00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:32,508
Give a girl some credit.
It's just a book... a made-up story.

324
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,637
It's fucking fiction, people!

325
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:44,312
OK.

326
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,356
I don't give a damn about
any moment that's come before this.

327
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,108
It's very simple, Karen.

328
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:51,569
I love you.

329
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:53,988
Do you love me?
Do you want to marry me?

330
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,287
Yes, I do.

331
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,377
(♪ Only Women Bleed)

332
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:33,736
♪ Man's got his woman to take his seed

333
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:39,033
♪ He got the power, she got the need

334
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:44,372
♪ She spends her life through
pleasing up her man

335
00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:50,628
♪ She feeds him dinner
on anything she can

336
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:55,591
♪ She cries alone at night too often

337
00:18:55,634 --> 00:19:00,138
♪ He smokes and drinks
and don't come home at all

338
00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:09,765
♪ Only women bleed

339
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:20,158
♪ Man makes your hair grey,
he's your life's mistake ♪

340
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,951
You want to talk about it?

341
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:26,247
- No.
- You need a hug?

342
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:29,709
- Oh, no.
- Come on. Let me love you.

343
00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:31,669
Will you shut the fuck up?

344
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:36,132
♪ He slaps you once in a while
and you live and love in pain ♪

345
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,426
So, what now?

346
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:41,095
Uh...

347
00:19:42,431 --> 00:19:44,724
I was thinking maybe
I'll get into teaching.

348
00:19:44,808 --> 00:19:47,059
There's an idea.

349
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,896
Not a particularly good one,
but it's an idea nonetheless.

350
00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,107
- Good luck with that.
- I hate you.

351
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:54,483
I hate myself.

352
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:59,071
♪ Only women bleed ♪

353
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,202
(Cheering and applause)

354
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,541
Dance with your daughter?

355
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:13,127
Don't mind if I do.

356
00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:14,962
Later, Runkle.

357
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,471
I'm very proud of you.

358
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:26,599
Really? And why is that?

359
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,768
Because you got through it...

360
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,896
and didn't get into a fight with anyone.

361
00:20:31,939 --> 00:20:34,440
Well, you didn't start it, at least.

362
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:38,903
You're tragically flawed, Dad,

363
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,948
but you've got a good heart.

364
00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,993
I'll take that.

365
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,162
(Both laugh)

366
00:20:51,458 --> 00:20:54,543
Hello, sister, mind if I cut in?

367
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:06,305
I suppose I should thank you.

368
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,433
- For what?
- Saving my ass.

369
00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,270
I'd say we're about even right now.

370
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,355
How's that?

371
00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,566
My dad decided to publish the book, so...

372
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:21,529
I think he feels a lot better
knowing that we didn't have sex.

373
00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:25,283
- But we did.
- Yeah.

374
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:28,953
Yeah, we did.

375
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:30,538
Once upon a time,

376
00:21:30,580 --> 00:21:33,916
I saw my favourite writer
in a bookstore and...

377
00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:35,626
I seduced him.

378
00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:38,421
So what... would it have been better

379
00:21:38,463 --> 00:21:42,258
to lose my virginity in the back
of some rich kid's Beamer?

380
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,594
Now you're really fucking with me.

381
00:21:47,180 --> 00:21:50,516
A girl never forgets her first.

382
00:21:56,606 --> 00:21:58,232
Hey...

383
00:21:58,275 --> 00:22:00,234
How you holding up, Daddy?

384
00:22:00,277 --> 00:22:03,779
Oh, hey, don't worry about me.

385
00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,741
Worry about that poor simpleton over there.

386
00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:09,201
You can call me whenever, you know...

387
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,704
Hey, take that.

388
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:14,290
Come on, Marcy. You know
you want that bald eagle back.

389
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:15,750
You've made him suffer long enough.

390
00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:18,169
He's been out there.
Trust me, there's nothing for him.

391
00:22:18,211 --> 00:22:20,254
He spanked the forbidden fruit,

392
00:22:20,297 --> 00:22:22,465
and now he's realised
that he'd rather be...

393
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:25,384
shucking your hairless clam.

394
00:22:25,427 --> 00:22:27,845
(Both laugh)

395
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,097
Hey, be nice to my clam.

396
00:22:32,267 --> 00:22:35,853
Hey, you, dance with
your fucking wife already.

397
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:40,232
Be nice to her vagina.

398
00:22:51,244 --> 00:22:55,373
Well, I guess congratulations are in order.

399
00:22:55,415 --> 00:22:59,043
- You did it.
- Looks like I did.

400
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,795
Good for you.

401
00:23:00,837 --> 00:23:03,214
OK, this is starting to
give me dumb chills.

402
00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:05,633
- What?
- That's right... you're a woman now.

403
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,802
- Shut up.
- Baby.

404
00:23:08,970 --> 00:23:10,888
May I?

405
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:14,308
Dance? You?

406
00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:24,402
Why didn't I dance with you more often?

407
00:23:24,444 --> 00:23:26,904
Remember? You thought it was stupid.

408
00:23:26,947 --> 00:23:30,032
Sounds familiar.

409
00:23:30,075 --> 00:23:32,159
And once again, the joke's on me,

410
00:23:32,202 --> 00:23:34,495
Because I'm the stupid one.

411
00:23:37,290 --> 00:23:42,461
You know, I'm sorry I never
gave you a day like today.

412
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,297
I don't know what I was so afraid of.

413
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:47,133
So negative.

414
00:23:47,175 --> 00:23:49,844
Because I look around

415
00:23:49,886 --> 00:23:52,430
and I think it's the most beautiful thing

416
00:23:52,472 --> 00:23:54,557
I've ever seen...

417
00:23:54,599 --> 00:23:56,976
aside from you.

418
00:24:03,316 --> 00:24:06,610
Oh, I believe that's our daughter.

419
00:24:06,653 --> 00:24:08,446
Don't stare... she'll kill us.

420
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,995
Just all went by so fast.

421
00:24:16,037 --> 00:24:21,417
From the moment I met you till just now...

422
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,670
seems like just a second ago.

423
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:35,848
Excuse me, Hank.
I wouldn't mind dancing with my wife.

424
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:38,517
Bill, of course. Be good to her.

425
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,021
I had a shot with her once, but I blew it.

426
00:24:56,912 --> 00:24:59,538
(Grunting, panting in distance)

427
00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:08,464
Now, that's what I call fucking, Runkle.

428
00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,716
You go, girl.

429
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,403
OK, don't push your luck, Clapton.

430
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:34,281
Becca, meet me in the car
in three and a half minutes.

431
00:25:34,324 --> 00:25:38,118
And you? No tongue. I'm serious.
That's not cool.

432
00:25:38,161 --> 00:25:42,206
Check yourself, before you
wrigidy-wrigidy-wreck yourself.

433
00:25:42,249 --> 00:25:45,459
(♪ The Rolling Stones:
You Can't Always Get What You Want)

434
00:25:45,502 --> 00:25:49,213
♪ I saw her today at the reception ♪

435
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:53,175
Stay away from musicians.
They're nothing but trouble.

436
00:25:53,218 --> 00:25:56,679
He asked me out... on a date.

437
00:25:58,181 --> 00:25:59,974
Captain Fantastic.

438
00:26:00,016 --> 00:26:03,018
- Thank you.
- Can I go?

439
00:26:04,229 --> 00:26:06,397
Of course you can go.

440
00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:09,149
- Impressed?
- Very.

441
00:26:09,192 --> 00:26:11,235
Maybe it's possible, after all this time,

442
00:26:11,278 --> 00:26:13,988
for your old man
to grow the fuck up already.

443
00:26:15,448 --> 00:26:19,618
Maybe it happens anyway,
whether you like it or not.

444
00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,413
Hm...

445
00:26:23,873 --> 00:26:26,959
- Yeah!
- Pay up.

446
00:26:27,002 --> 00:26:30,004
I gave my last bill to the valet.
You're shit out of luck.

447
00:26:30,046 --> 00:26:33,382
Hank! Wait! Hank!

448
00:26:33,425 --> 00:26:37,219
Hank! Wait! Hank! Wait!

449
00:26:37,262 --> 00:26:38,846
Just go... drive the car!

450
00:26:38,888 --> 00:26:40,097
- You sure?
- Yes!

451
00:26:40,140 --> 00:26:41,890
Quick, before I change my fucking mind!

452
00:26:41,933 --> 00:26:43,601
I'm sorry, baby.

453
00:26:43,643 --> 00:26:45,060
- Karen!
- (Tyres squeal)

454
00:26:45,103 --> 00:26:47,479
Karen, wait! Come back!

455
00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:49,857
Karen!

456
00:26:49,899 --> 00:26:51,984
(Tyres squeal)

457
00:27:05,999 --> 00:27:13,999
♪ You can't always get what you want

458
00:27:31,191 --> 00:27:33,942
♪ Aaaaa-ooow! ♪