1 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,779 PREVIOUSLY ON "CALIFORNICATION"... THAT'S IT! BIGS, STOP THE VAN! 2 00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:14,115 WHAT? 3 00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,250 OVITZ! HIT THE BRICKS! 4 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:17,651 SEE YOU AT THE OSCARS, PAL. 5 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,420 HE RUINED MY CAREER. 6 00:00:19,453 --> 00:00:22,556 LOOK -- DAISY'S FAMILY, AND YOU FUCKED HER SHIT UP. FIX THIS. 7 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,492 "VAGINATOWN" IS PROBABLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN ANYWAY. 8 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:25,759 THE FINANCING FELL THROUGH. 9 00:00:25,793 --> 00:00:27,695 YOU'RE SHITTING ME! I WISH I WAS. 10 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,397 THE "WALL OF COCKS" SEQUENCE ALONE 11 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,132 WOULD HAVE BLOWN PEOPLE'S MINDS. 12 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,700 THE "WALL OF COCKS"... 13 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:36,104 OH, HELLS, YEAH! YOU GOT DAISY THE PART. 14 00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,172 I HAD TO INVEST 100 GRAND IN HIS MOVIE. 15 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:39,407 YEAH. I AM, UH, I AM PREGNANT. 16 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,374 I'M NOT THE FATHER. 17 00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:43,111 THERE WAS ONLY ONE GUY, ACCORDING TO SONJA. 18 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:44,212 CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, 19 00:00:44,245 --> 00:00:48,149 BUT HANK COULD VERY WELL BE THE FATHER OF THE CHILD. 20 00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:49,250 Hank: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? 21 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,784 JUST GIVING YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING TO PUT IN YOUR BOOK. 22 00:00:50,818 --> 00:00:52,286 WE DROVE OUT HERE TOGETHER. 23 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,455 I ENDED UP PRODUCING. SHE ENDED UP ALONE. 24 00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:06,867 [ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ] 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,869 * ...DEEP INSIDE 26 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,405 * I SAY, YEAH, YEAH, CAN'T YOU SEE? * 27 00:01:11,439 --> 00:01:12,506 * I SAY, YEAH 28 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:14,542 [ MUSIC STOPS ] 29 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:35,229 [ VEHICLE APPROACHES ] 30 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,865 OH, HEY. 31 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,669 OH. GREETINGS. 32 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:42,770 JUST, UH... 33 00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:46,140 YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING ON MY PROPERTY? 34 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,342 OH, YEAH, I'M JUST, UH, I, UH, I WANTED TO KNOW 35 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:50,144 IF THE LADY OF THE HOUSE WAS HOME. 36 00:01:50,178 --> 00:01:51,412 AND YOU ARE? 37 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,780 I'M A FRIEND. 38 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,349 WELL, I'M -- I'M MORE OF A FRIEND OF A FRIEND, ACTUALLY. 39 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:57,385 MY WIFE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS THAT I DON'T KNOW. 40 00:01:57,418 --> 00:01:58,486 OH, SO YOU'RE MARRIED? 41 00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,788 [ CHUCKLES ] THAT'S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS. 42 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,623 WELL, NO, LOOK, I-I APPRECIATE THE HOSTILITY. 43 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,259 BUT I'M NOT TRYING TO BREAK INTO YOUR CASTLE AND YOUR KEEP HERE. 44 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,827 I'M A WRITER. I'M DOING SOME RESEARCH. 45 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,929 MY NAME IS HANK MOODY. IT'S A PLEASURE. 46 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,631 THERE'S NO SMOKING HERE. 47 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,301 OUTSIDE. 48 00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,169 THERE'S NO SMOKING OUTSIDE? REALLY? 49 00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,738 Woman: IS EVERYTHING OKAY OUT HERE? OH, IS THIS HER? 50 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,707 HONEY, IT'S OKAY. GO BACK INSIDE. 51 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,342 HEY, MY NAME IS HANK MOODY. I'M A WRITER. 52 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:24,278 AND I WAS JUST -- I WAS DOING SOME RESEARCH. 53 00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,480 DID I...SAY THAT YOU COULD TALK TO HER? 54 00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:30,218 JESUS, YOU GOT A BIT OF AN OVERPROTECTIVE VIBE HAPPENING HERE. 55 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:32,953 I WANT TO ASK YOU A QUESTION ABOUT LEW, LEW ASHBY. 56 00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:36,624 HEY! HEY, I ASKED YOU NICELY TO GET OFF MY PROPERTY. 57 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:39,260 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT "NICELY," MOTHERFUCKER. 58 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,795 I WILL LEAVE YOUR PROPERTY WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY... 59 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,364 MOTHAFUCKAH. 60 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,339 [ GATE OPENS ] 61 00:02:51,372 --> 00:02:53,307 WHO PUTS A FUCKIN' BUSH THERE?! 62 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:37,785 Charlie: I'M JUST SAYING, 63 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,321 ASHBY MANOR MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU 64 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,556 IN YOUR CURRENT DEPRESSED FRAME OF MIND. 65 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,592 IT'S NOT THE BEST PLACE FOR ANYBODY 66 00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,727 SINCE ASBHY LET THE DOUCHE BAG WITHIN TAKE UP RESIDENCE. 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,596 OH, YOUR FAVORITE. YOU REALLY LIKE THAT GUY. 68 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,731 OH, WHO? JULIAN SELF, THE SNAKE-OIL SALESMAN? 69 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,833 10 GRAND A WEEK THAT BEARDED BOZO'S MAKING, 70 00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:54,635 DISPENSING HIS DIARRHEA-OF-THE-MOUTH THERAPIES 71 00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,504 TO THE CREATIVELY BLOCKED. 72 00:03:56,537 --> 00:03:58,339 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? 10 GRAND. 73 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:00,541 THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT THE RUNKLE NEST EGG INTO -- 74 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:01,909 SELF-HELP. 75 00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,811 OH, WAIT A MINUTE -- THAT'S SLEAZIER THAN PORN. 76 00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:06,280 SO I THINK YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE. LAUGH IT UP, PAL. 77 00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:07,648 ONLY ONE MORE DAY OF SHOOTING, 78 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,683 WE SELL THIS PUPPY, AND I DOUBLE MY INVESTMENT. 79 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,285 SO YOU'RE SANGUINE ABOUT THE WHOLE... 80 00:04:11,319 --> 00:04:13,020 I AM SANGUINISSIMO, BABY. SANGUINISSIMO. 81 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,788 ALTHOUGH I GOT TO SAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 82 00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:17,691 I'M -- I'M A LITTLE WORRIED ABOUT BEING ON THAT PORN SET. YEAH? 83 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,960 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE A GYNECOLOGIST. 84 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,929 YIKES. DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT GIRL? 85 00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:24,332 YOU KNOW, SHE LOOKS DOWN BETWEEN THE STIRRUPS 86 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,634 AND SHE SEES YOUR GLEAMING ORB LOOMING STRAIGHT UP AT HER. 87 00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,035 YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT? 88 00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,537 SO, DID I EVER THINK ABOUT 89 00:04:29,570 --> 00:04:31,305 PENETRATING SOMEONE WITH MY HEAD? 90 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,707 NO, I NEVER DID THINK ABOUT THAT. GOOD. 91 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,850 HEY, LEW? 92 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:48,055 LEW? 93 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,890 [ WOMAN MOANING IN DISTANCE ] 94 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:52,826 HEY, LEW! 95 00:04:52,860 --> 00:04:55,095 HEY, LEW, YOU DECENT? 96 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,431 LEW. 97 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,501 OH! OH! 98 00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:01,835 I KNEW YOU WERE A DICK! 99 00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:03,504 [ PANTING ] 100 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:04,438 I KNEW IT. 101 00:05:04,472 --> 00:05:06,474 OKAY, CAN WE -- CAN WE DO THIS LATER, PLEASE? 102 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,642 SURE, NO PROBLEM. 103 00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,412 [ WOMAN MOANING ] 104 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,347 COME ON. LET GO OF IT. 105 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:16,049 YOU CAN DO IT. 106 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:19,887 ALL RIGHT, JUST SMILE. 107 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:20,654 HANK! 108 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:22,956 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] NICE. 109 00:05:22,990 --> 00:05:25,393 PLEASE. PLEASE. 110 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,961 [ Chuckling ] OH. OH, THAT'S GOOD. WE'RE DONE. 111 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,997 Charlie: NICE AND SECURE ON THERE. 112 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,932 I'M A LITTLE CONCERNED WITH THE BUMP HERE. 113 00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:34,502 IF YOU COULD JUST -- I DON'T WANT IT TO FALL OFF. 114 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,938 GEEZ! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, GUYS! 115 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,072 CAREFUL, HUH?! 116 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,442 I LOVE THIS THING -- MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF. 117 00:05:41,475 --> 00:05:43,844 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 118 00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:45,913 HE-E-Y! 119 00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:48,048 [ CHUCKLES ] BABY! 120 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:50,684 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HOUSE? 121 00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:51,685 I'M SORRY, OKAY? 122 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:54,121 IT'S JUST -- YOU KNOW, THE LOCATION FELL THROUGH. 123 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:56,824 SO, LOOK, WE HAVE ONE MORE SCENE, 124 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,459 AND "VAGINATOWN" IS A WRAP, OKAY? 125 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,127 I JUST -- I-I-I FIGURED YOU'D BE WORKING. 126 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:03,096 WHAT, A GIRL CAN'T COME HOME A LITTLE EARLY? 127 00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:05,766 KNOCK OFF, RELAX, WATCH A LITTLE "OPES"? 128 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:06,867 Ronny: RUNKLE! 129 00:06:06,900 --> 00:06:09,169 I'M GONNA NEED TO KNOCK A COUPLE WALLS DOWN IN THERE. 130 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,638 WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT? 131 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,906 WHAT'S THAT? IS THAT THE SPINNER? 132 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:14,975 DIDN'T WE SHOOT THAT SCENE ALREADY? 133 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:17,377 THIS IS MY WIFE. 134 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:19,980 OH. SORRY. 135 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,716 'ELLO. RONNY PRAEGER. FILMMAKER. 136 00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:23,984 YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOUR OLD DEAR 137 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,420 WAS SUCH A LOVELY BIT OF FILTH. 138 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:27,621 YOU DIRTY BASTARD. 139 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:30,190 WHAT DO YOU RECKON, SWEETHEART? DO YOU WANT TO BE IN IT? 140 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,460 I COULD EASILY SEE YOU AND DAISY 141 00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:34,928 ENGAGED IN A NICE LITTLE BIT OF STAND-UP 69. 142 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:38,131 69 IS A WASTE OF TIME, STAND-UP OR OTHERWISE. 143 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,868 AND DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY WALLS. 144 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,103 YOU ARE SPICY. I LIKE IT. 145 00:06:44,472 --> 00:06:45,939 THERE SHE IS. 146 00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,941 MY LEADING LADY. 147 00:06:47,975 --> 00:06:51,111 CAN YOU FEEL IT -- THE SEXUAL TENSION? 148 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:53,180 [ SIGHS ] 149 00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:54,848 HOW DO I LOOK? 150 00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:57,117 OHH! [ MARCY CLEARS THROAT ] 151 00:06:57,150 --> 00:07:00,153 DON'T STARE, YOU FUCKING BABOON. IT'S RUDE! 152 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:02,856 CHRIST ON THE CROSS, WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF? 153 00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,725 YOU LOOK LIKE A FUCKIN' CHILD! 154 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:05,993 A VERY HOT CHILD. 155 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:09,062 WHO'S BEEN POORLY WAXED. YOU CHEATED ON ME. 156 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:11,164 I COULDN'T GET AN APPOINTMENT, AND HE TOLD ME TO SHAVE. 157 00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,733 I TOLD YOU TO TRIM. 158 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,167 THIS IS "VAGINATOWN," SWEETHEART. 159 00:07:14,201 --> 00:07:17,771 THEY DIDN'T HAVE LITTLE HEART-SHAPED TUFTS OF PUBIS IN 1930's L.A. 160 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:21,141 MAYBE NOT, BUT I THINK MY CHARACTER WAS BEFORE HER TIME. 161 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,844 SORRY. WHO SAID IT'S YOUR CHARACTER? 162 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,246 WE NEED A FUCKIN' MERKIN! 163 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,249 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'VE GOT A FEW OF THOSE LYING AROUND. 164 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,251 YOU DO? WHY? 165 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,487 DON'T YOU TELL HIM, MARCE! 166 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,258 TURN IT THIS WAY, IT'S LIKE HE'S STARING AT YOU. 167 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,994 HANK, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? 168 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:42,730 THAT COULD BE ANYBODY. YEAH, BUT IT'S NOT. 169 00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,533 IT'S "THE ARTIST WITHIN" A VERY NICE YOUNG GIRL NAMED HOLLY. 170 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,868 LOOK. LOOK, IT'S LIKE ONE OF THOSE JESUS PICTURES, 171 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,270 EXCEPT IT'S HIS BALLS THAT FOLLOW YOU WHEREVER YOU MOVE. 172 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,606 SEE THAT BRUTE-LIKE APPENDAGE THERE? IT'S ACTUAL-SIZE. 173 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,142 YOU CAME ALL THE WAY OVER HERE TO SHOW ME THAT? 174 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,010 YOU'RE 12. 175 00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,012 WELL, THIS -- NO, THIS VINDICATES ME. 176 00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:00,614 PROVES THE GUY'S A DOUCHE BAG. 177 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,650 HE'S A DANGER TO WOMEN. HE HAS TO BE STOPPED. 178 00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,017 HE'S GOT TO BE STOPPED? 179 00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:06,019 HE MANIPULATES THEM. HE FUCKS WITH THEIR MINDS. 180 00:08:06,053 --> 00:08:07,655 YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH SONJA, RIGHT? 181 00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,256 WHY DON'T YOU GO TELL HER? YOU SHOULD. 182 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:12,292 POSSIBLY. BUT YOU'RE THE FATHER OF HER UNBORN CHILD. 183 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,228 SO I THINK THAT TRUMPS "FRIEND." WE DON'T KNOW THAT FOR CERTAIN. 184 00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:16,597 WE DON'T KNOW FOR CERTAIN 185 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,999 WHAT KIND OF ARRANGEMENT THEY HAVE, EITHER. 186 00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:20,868 THEY LIVE TOGETHER -- THAT'S THEIR ARRANGEMENT. 187 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,135 MAYBE THEY HAVE ONE OF THOSE, 188 00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,538 YOU KNOW, LIKE, OPEN RELATIONSHIP OR SOMETHING. 189 00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:25,873 EW. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 190 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,274 THAT -- THAT -- THAT IS DISGUSTING. 191 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,042 THAT IS NOT A POSSIBILITY. 192 00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,011 THE OPEN RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT EXIST. 193 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:33,547 IT'S LIKE AN OXYMORON, LIKE "JUMBO SHRIMP" OR -- 194 00:08:33,581 --> 00:08:35,816 OH, OKAY. SO THAT'S WHERE YOU DRAW THE LINE? 195 00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:36,984 AT OPEN RELATIONSHIPS? 196 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,886 YES, THAT'S THOROUGHLY OFFENSIVE TO ME. 197 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:42,189 HUH. THE MOUTH-RAPIST WHO SLEEPS WITH PROSTITUTES IS OFFENDED. 198 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,757 NO, COME ON. LOOK -- 199 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:45,192 LOOK, MY ETHICAL UNPREDICTABILITY 200 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:47,094 IS DEFAULT PROOF OF ITS HARD-WON VITALITY. 201 00:08:47,127 --> 00:08:49,830 BECAUSE I'M NOT, LIKE, BY ROTE OR PROGRAMMATIC ABOUT IT. 202 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,832 I THINK THIS SHIT THROUGH, EVERY ISSUE. 203 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,701 ANYWAY, ARE YOU GONNA GO TATTLE TO SONJA 204 00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,335 OR DO I HAVE TO, 'CAUSE I'D BE GLAD TO. 205 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,970 HANK, SHUT UP, OKAY? MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. 206 00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:57,871 GET OUT OF HERE. 207 00:08:57,905 --> 00:08:59,239 I'M MINDING OUR BUSINESS. 208 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,974 GO PICK UP BECCA. SHE'S AT SCHOOL. 209 00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,576 THIS CONVERSATION IS NOT OVER. 210 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,146 OKAY, CAPTAIN. WHAT'S THE PLAN? HMM? 211 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,682 WE GONNA BE SHOOTING SOMETHING AT SOME POINT? 212 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,918 I KIND OF -- I PROMISED MY WIFE, YOU KNOW, 213 00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,754 THAT THE, YOU KNOW, THINGS WOULD CLEAR OUT BY, SAY... 214 00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:15,288 OH, YOU PROMISED YOUR WIFE, DID YOU? YEAH. 215 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,858 WHAT IS IT YOU THINK WE'RE DOING HERE, RUNKLE? 216 00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,627 DOES THIS LOOK LIKE CHATSWORTH? 217 00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,762 DO I LOOK LIKE A UKRAINIAN SEX WORKER? NO. 218 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,231 WE ARE MAKING EROTIC ART HERE... 219 00:09:24,264 --> 00:09:27,367 SOMETHING MEN -- AND WOMEN, GOD-WILLING -- 220 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:30,003 WILL BE PLEASURING THEMSELVES TO FOR DECADES TO COME. 221 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:30,871 OKAY, OKAY. I GET THAT. 222 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,773 AND I RESPECT YOUR VISION. REALLY, I DO. 223 00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,908 IT'S JUST, THE NEIGHBORS ARE GETTING A LITTLE RESTLESS. 224 00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,710 AND I WOULD RATHER THEY DON'T CALL THE COPS 225 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:37,745 AND HAVE US SHUT DOWN. 226 00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:38,712 HEY, LOOK -- IT'S YOUR MONEY. 227 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:41,014 BUT IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR TRANSCENDENCE... 228 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,950 Man: We should start shooting. 229 00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,619 BRING IN FIRST TEAM! [ SIGHS ] 230 00:09:45,653 --> 00:09:48,656 [ INTRO TO POETS & PORNSTARS' "ROCK AND ROLL" PLAYS ] 231 00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,326 WHERE'S CLITTES? 232 00:09:55,929 --> 00:09:58,165 [ SNORTING, SNIFFLES ] 233 00:09:58,198 --> 00:09:59,700 [ COUGHS SOFTLY ] 234 00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:01,034 [ CHUCKLES ] 235 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:04,337 MAN, YOU LOOK SMOKIN' IN THAT PICTURE. 236 00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:05,873 HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 237 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,407 YEAH, YOUR DAD LOOKS SO PROUD. 238 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,142 THAT'S NOT MY DAD. 239 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:11,812 FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, MARCE. 240 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:14,281 * ...LIKE IT'S A LOST DARK HEART THAT SEES... * 241 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:18,085 YOU -- IT'S TIME TO GO DOWN AND UNLEASH THE MONSTER OF COCK. 242 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,055 BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. 243 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:25,859 * ...CALL IT MY CONSTITUTION 244 00:10:25,893 --> 00:10:29,396 * CALL IT THE COMMON NEED 245 00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:32,766 * CALL IT A STRANGE DEVOTION, MAN... * 246 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,902 THIS IS WHAT YOU CAME HOME EARLY FOR, ISN'T IT? 247 00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:36,904 TO DO SOME COCAINE. 248 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:38,706 AND WATCH SOME "OPRAH." 249 00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:40,307 * ...IT'S JUST ROCK AND ROLL TO ME * 250 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,277 [ SIGHS ] 251 00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:47,447 THAT THIRSTY LITTLE NOSE OF YOURS IS COSTING US SOME MONEY. 252 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,783 HAVE YOU CHECKED OUR BANK BALANCE LATELY? 253 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,018 [ SNIFFS ] 254 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:54,154 ASSHOLE, YOU JUST PUT THE BULK OF OUR NEST EGG 255 00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,924 INTO A MOVIE CALLED "VAGINATOWN." 256 00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,159 AND YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME FEEL BAD 257 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,695 ABOUT A LITTLE AFTERNOON SNACK WITH JAKE CLITTES? 258 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:03,363 THIS MOVIE IS AN INVESTMENT, 259 00:11:03,396 --> 00:11:05,432 WHICH WE'RE IN TOGETHER, REMEMBER? 260 00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,300 A LITTLE BIT OF SUPPORT, PLEASE. 261 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,237 AND IT'S "CLITTES" -- SOUNDS LIKE "TITTIES." 262 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,206 [ SNIFFS FORCEFULLY ] 263 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,341 WELL, IF MEMORY SERVES, 264 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,177 UH, THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU SAY YOU CAN HANDLE IT 265 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,346 AND THAT YOU CAN STOP WHENEVER YOU WANT. 266 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:20,948 OH, I CAN STOP. 267 00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:22,449 THEN STOP. 268 00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:24,051 FOR A DAY. 269 00:11:24,084 --> 00:11:25,318 FOR AN HOUR. 270 00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:29,056 YEAH, YOU CAN SAY "NO, NO, NO" ALL YOU WANT, MISS WINEHOUSE. 271 00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:31,358 I'M THIS CLOSE TO BOOKING YOU A ROOM AT WISHES. 272 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,426 WHAT HAPPENED TO PROMISES? 273 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:36,429 PROMISES OF MALIBU IS NO LONGER IN THE RUNKLE FAMILY BUDGET. 274 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:38,899 WISHES IS IN OXNARD. 275 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:41,134 RUNKLE, BAD NEWS. DAISY'S IN HER TRAILER. 276 00:11:41,168 --> 00:11:44,071 SHE WON'T COME OUT. SHE'LL ONLY TALK TO YOU. 277 00:11:44,104 --> 00:11:45,172 [ SIGHS ] 278 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:48,108 WE'LL FINISH THIS CONVERSATION LATER. 279 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:53,814 DON'T YOU BE CONDESCENDING TO ME, MOTHERFUCKER. 280 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,282 [ SNIFFS ] 281 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,417 I CAN STOP. 282 00:11:57,450 --> 00:12:01,488 [ SNIFFS ] I CAN STOP WHENEVER THE FUCK I WANT. 283 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,957 * ...IT'S JUST ROCK AND ROLL 284 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:07,995 [ STATIC, MUSIC ALTERNATE ON RADIO ] 285 00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,766 [ FUNK MUSIC PLAYS ] 286 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,168 GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES. 287 00:12:15,202 --> 00:12:19,039 AH, IT'S THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING FLANNEL. 288 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,508 ON TIME FOR A CHANGE. IMPRESSIVE. 289 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,877 WE'RE STILL GOING TO LEW ASHBY'S, RIGHT? 290 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,913 YEAH, WE WANT TO GO, TOO. 291 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:28,381 "WE"? OH, SORRY. 292 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,283 HANK MOODY, THIS IS ANNIKA STALEY 293 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:31,785 OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE. 294 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,220 REALLY? THE ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE? 295 00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:35,255 THE ONE THAT USED TO HAVE SOME CULTURAL RELEVANCE? 296 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,857 WELL, I AM DELIGHTED TO MEET YOU, 297 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:38,792 ANNIKA STALEY FROM ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE. 298 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,794 SORRY TO CRASH THE PARTY. 299 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:43,196 I'M JUST TRAILING MIA FOR THE DAY. 300 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,397 SHE'S GONNA BE IN OUR "HOT" ISSUE. 301 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,199 OH, SHE'S HOT, IS SHE? 302 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:48,836 FEVERISH? 303 00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,339 WILL YOU EXCUSE ME A MOMENT? 304 00:12:52,372 --> 00:12:54,307 SORRY. 305 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,442 SURE. 306 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,577 [ ANNIKA CHUCKLES ] 307 00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,579 IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? 308 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:02,916 I MADE A MESS OF YOUR BUSH THIS MORNING. 309 00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:06,586 THAT'S, UH... SHIT, THAT CAME OUT WRONG. 310 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,988 FLOWERS. SHE'S GOT THIS... 311 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,323 WOW. ...POTTED-FLOWER THING, AND I... 312 00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:11,324 I'LL SEE YOU GUYS. 313 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,426 IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU, LADIES. YEAH. 314 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,828 HEY, THIS IS A COINCIDENCE. 315 00:13:14,862 --> 00:13:16,329 I'M HERE PICKING UP MY DAUGHTER, AND -- 316 00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,265 WELL, I GOT SOME MAIL FOR YOU. 317 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,499 YOU DO? YEAH. 318 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:22,936 YOU ARE -- YOU ARE "RESIDENT," AREN'T YOU? 319 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,038 BUT I-I DOUBT THAT YOU NEED YOUR CARPETS CLEANED. 320 00:13:25,072 --> 00:13:26,940 OR YOUR DRAPES. I BET YOUR CARPETS ARE IMMACULATE. 321 00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:28,441 I BET THE CARPETS MATCH THE DRAPES. 322 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:30,477 DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE THIS GOOD OF A FIRST IMPRESSION? 323 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,979 WELL, IT'S A SECOND IMPRESSION, ACTUALLY. 324 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:33,013 HANK. HANK MOODY. 325 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,582 AND THEY'RE ONLY GONNA GET WORSE FROM HERE ON IN, 326 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,584 SO I'M JUST GONNA LAY MY CARDS ON THE TABLE. 327 00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,319 DO YOU KNOW A GUY NAMED LEW ASHBY? 328 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,488 YEAH, SURE. HE'S SOME FAMOUS RECORD PRODUCER, RIGHT? 329 00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:42,422 A ROCK-'N'-ROLL LEGEND. 330 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,925 I'M WRITING A BOOK ON HIM. OH? GOOD LUCK. 331 00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:47,294 YEAH. I'M GONNA NEED IT BECAUSE THE GUY'S A CYPHER. 332 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,461 I CAN'T GET ANYWHERE. 333 00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,530 WELL, THEN WHY DO THE RESEARCH? JUST PRINT THE LEGEND. 334 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:52,099 THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WANT TO READ, RIGHT? 335 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:53,633 ONE LONG ROCK-'N'-ROLL BACCHANALIA 336 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:57,004 WHERE THE MUSIC NEVER ENDS, THE GROUPIES NEVER GET OLDER, 337 00:13:57,037 --> 00:13:59,139 AND YOUR DICK NEVER SHRIVELS UP AND FALLS OFF 338 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:01,374 FROM SOME UNSPECIFIED VENEREAL DISEASE. 339 00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,377 WOW. THAT WAS UNKIND TO MY DICK. 340 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,379 I HAD TO GET YOU BACK FOR RUINING MY BUSH. 341 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,516 HMM. WELL, I'VE KNOWN THE GUY FOR LIKE SIX WEEKS NOW, 342 00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,418 AND THE ONLY GENUINE MOMENT I'VE HAD WITH HIM 343 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:13,553 IS WHEN HE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS WOMAN THAT HE NEVER GOT OVER 344 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:15,155 AND A MUSTANG THAT WOULDN'T GO IN REVERSE. 345 00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,457 THAT'S WHY I WAS SNOOPING AROUND YOUR HOUSE TODAY. 346 00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,459 I THINK YOU'D HAVE BETTER LUCK FINDING THE MUSTANG. 347 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:20,593 WHY IS THAT? 348 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:23,196 'CAUSE IT ACTUALLY EXISTED. BLUE WITH GREY INTERIOR. 349 00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,664 AND WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL? 350 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,500 FIGMENT OF LEW'S IMAGINATION. 351 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,876 [ DOG BARKING ] 352 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,918 [ SIGHS ] 353 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:49,389 I LIKE YOUR TRAILER. 354 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,993 I DROVE OUT HERE IN THIS PIECE OF SHIT. 355 00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:56,196 [ SIGHS ] I WAS GONNA BE A BIG, BIG STAR. 356 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,364 LOOK AT ME NOW. 357 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,332 LOOK, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, 358 00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,468 IF YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF PORN, JUST -- 359 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:03,336 I DON'T WANT TO GET OUT OF PORN. 360 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,072 I LOVE PORN. 361 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:06,539 WHY? 362 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,576 'CAUSE I LOVE SEX. 363 00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:12,345 AND I LOST IT AT THE MOVIES. 364 00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:14,147 LITERALLY. 365 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:18,485 I WAS 15, AND MY BOYFRIEND TOOK ME TO THE DRIVE-IN. 366 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:21,621 THEY WERE SHOWING A REVIVAL OF "DIRTY DANCING." 367 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:25,025 I LOVE THAT MOVIE! DEFINITELY IN MY TOP 10. 368 00:15:25,058 --> 00:15:26,359 MINE TOO. 369 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:29,562 I JUST -- I GOT SO TURNED ON, 370 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,265 I JUST JUMPED HIS BONES THEN AND THERE. 371 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:36,036 AND EVER SINCE, I'VE ASSOCIATED MOVIES AND SEX. 372 00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,404 AND I STARTED TO THINK, 373 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,240 "WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE A GUILTY PLEASURE?" 374 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,574 EVERYBODY WATCHES IT. 375 00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,076 YOU DO, RIGHT? 376 00:15:43,110 --> 00:15:44,644 VERY MUCH SO, YES. 377 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:46,713 SOME MIGHT CALL IT A SOFT ADDICTION. 378 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:49,549 BUT THEN I GOT OUT HERE AND... 379 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,352 I JUST -- I SAW WHAT IT REALLY IS. 380 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,755 JUST AN ENDLESS SERIES OF DISGUSTING SCENES 381 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,226 SHOT BY DISGUSTING PEOPLE. 382 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:02,329 BUT THEN YOU CAME ALONG. 383 00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,597 AND YOU GOT ME THIS CLOSE TO MY DREAMS. 384 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:06,766 WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING, RIGHT? 385 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:08,001 BUT IT'S SCARY. 386 00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,736 I MEAN, WHAT IF I SUCK? 387 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,672 YOU DO NOT SUCK, DAISY. TRUST ME. 388 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:16,143 IF THERE'S ONE THING I KNOW, IT'S PORN, OKAY? 389 00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:17,277 AND YOU GOT SOMETHING 390 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,746 THAT THOSE SILICONE VALLEY GALS DON'T -- THE 'X' FACTOR. 391 00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,148 IT SETS YOU APART. 392 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:23,483 YOU'RE THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, 393 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:26,519 AMERICA'S FUCKABLE SWEETHEART. 394 00:16:28,555 --> 00:16:31,458 I'M STARTING TO GET THAT FEELING, CHARLIE. 395 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,526 WHAT FEELING WOULD THAT BE? 396 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,728 THE SAME ONE I GOT AT THE DRIVE-IN. 397 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:38,131 OH. 398 00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:41,134 WE BETTER GET YOU INSIDE, THEN. 399 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:44,137 Please. [ GRUNTS ] I beg you... 400 00:16:44,171 --> 00:16:47,174 OKAY, PEOPLE, LET'S DO THIS THING! 401 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,076 Come on... 402 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:50,677 W-W-WHAT'S WRONG WITH CLITTES? 403 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,312 COKE DICK. 404 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,446 COKE DICK? 405 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,549 TOO MUCH BLOW, AND THE COCK WON'T GROW. 406 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:58,518 WHA-WHA-WHA-WHA? Ronny: THANKS TO YOUR OLD LADY, 407 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:01,488 JAKE HERE IS ABOUT AS USEFUL AS TITS ON A NUN. 408 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,356 WE'RE GONNA NEED A STUNT COCK. 409 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:04,791 STUNT COCK? 410 00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:07,460 YOU -- DROP YOUR PANTS. 411 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,732 CALL YOURSELF A MAN? 412 00:17:14,234 --> 00:17:16,103 I WEEP FOR YOU. 413 00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:19,106 RUNKLE, WHAT ARE YOU PACKING? 414 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:21,108 ME? WHAT ABOUT YOU? 415 00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:24,111 WHY DON'T YOU WHIP OUT YOUR HITCHCOCK AND GIVE IT A CAMEO? 416 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,079 OUR LEADING MAN IS CIRCUMCISED. 417 00:17:26,113 --> 00:17:27,780 CAN'T SAY THE SAME FOR MYSELF. 418 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:31,251 BESIDES, I CAN GO FOR HOURS. WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT. 419 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,353 OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE... 420 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,855 HONEY... WHAT? 421 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,725 YOU'VE DELIVERED PLENTY OF ONE-MINUTE MONEY SHOTS IN THIS LIVING ROOM. 422 00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,127 ONE MORE'S NOT GONNA KILL YOU. 423 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,495 HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND, WOMAN? 424 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:44,331 YOU ACTUALLY WANT ME TO DO THIS? 425 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,699 NO, BUT I ALSO DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN PARK LA BREA 426 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,202 AND EAT CAT FOOD WHEN I'M OLD. 427 00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:51,638 100 GRAND, RUNKLE -- THE NEST EGG. 428 00:17:51,671 --> 00:17:54,874 AND IF OUR BLESSED UNION MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU, 429 00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,645 YOU WILL GET IN THERE AND DRIVE MISS DAISY, HO. 430 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,089 Holly: * NOW I KNOW 431 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,860 * SPANISH HARLEM 432 00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:20,400 * ARE NOT JUST PRETTY WORDS TO SAY... * 433 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,802 I THINK WHAT I LOVE MOST ABOUT MIA'S BOOK 434 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,671 IS HOW VISCERAL IT IS. 435 00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,806 THAT'S MY DAUGHTER. 436 00:18:26,839 --> 00:18:29,776 OH, YEAH. YEAH, GREAT. 437 00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,712 I GUESS IT'S TOO MUCH TO ASK OF A WRITER FROM ROLLING STONE 438 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,481 TO LOVE MUSIC. IT'S NOT MY BEAT. 439 00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:37,250 YOU COVER WORDS. MM-HMM. 440 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,586 ALL WORDS OR JUST... 441 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,388 JUST THE HOT ONES? 442 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,191 WHY DON'T YOU FIND OUT? LET ME INTERVIEW YOU. 443 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,425 OH, GOD, NO. NO. 444 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,794 COME ON, COME ON. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. 445 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:48,928 NO, I DON'T WANT TO. 446 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,798 COME ON. WE CAN HAVE A DRINK, WE'LL TALK ABOUT MIA. 447 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,334 OH, I'M SURE MIA IS PERFECTLY CAPABLE 448 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:55,802 OF TALKING ABOUT HERSELF. 449 00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,271 WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT? 450 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:00,740 HEY. 451 00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:04,277 THAT IS A LOVELY SHADE OF BLUE YOUR FACE IS WEARING. 452 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,180 OH, GOD. I THINK I'M -- I'M GONNA -- YOU GONNA -- 453 00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:09,249 [ VOMITS ] 454 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,718 OH. [ SIGHS ] 455 00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:14,454 YOU KNOW, EVERYONE SAID IT WOULD STOP IN THE SECOND TRIMESTER. 456 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,757 OH, CRAP, DID I GET SOME ON YOUR FOOT? OH, NO. NO WORRIES. 457 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:20,793 UNLIKE YOU, I'M NOT A BIG SYMPATHETIC VOMITER. 458 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:21,894 OH, THANKS. 459 00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:25,265 JULIAN -- JULIAN THINKS THAT ALL... HERE YOU GO. 460 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,899 ...PHYSICAL ILLNESS -- OH, THANK YOU -- 461 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,936 IS -- IS DUE TO SOME, YOU KNOW, MENTAL WEAKNESS. 462 00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,504 OH, REALLY? YEAH. 463 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:33,606 WOW. WHAT CAUSES CANCER? 464 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,642 BITTER-- NO. BITTERNESS. 465 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,843 HANG ON. THAT'S NOT IT. 466 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,778 SLOTH. NO. NO, IT'S NOT THAT. 467 00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,680 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. FEAR. 468 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,582 FEAR. WELL, LET'S ALERT THE FUCKIN' MEDIA! 469 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,451 LET'S GET THAT SHIT TAKEN CARE OF. 470 00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:47,254 END SUFFERING IN OUR TIME. 471 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,522 Sonja: [ SIGHS ] ISN'T HE HERE? 472 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,259 I THOUGHT HE WAS WORKING WITH LEW THIS WEEK. 473 00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,626 NO. HE WAS. EARLIER. 474 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,528 LAYING HANDS ON THE FAITHFUL. 475 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:58,231 OH, GEE. ONLY HIS HANDS? POSSIBLY MORE. 476 00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,599 OH, GOD, I KNEW IT. 477 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:02,435 EVERY TIME HE COMES OVER HERE, HE ENDS UP BONING SOME GROUPIE. 478 00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:03,570 AND THAT'S FUCKED UP, RIGHT? 479 00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:06,306 I MEAN, WHEN YOU'RE WITH SOMEBODY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE OFF, 480 00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:07,940 BONING SOME STRANGER, DOGGY-STYLE, RIGHT? 481 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,276 RIGHT? 482 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,010 THAT'S BULLSHIT. [ SIGHS ] 483 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,514 RIGHT? YOU'RE NOT REACTING THE WAY I THOUGHT YOU'D REACT. 484 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:16,416 WE KIND OF HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP, SO... 485 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:17,950 NO SHIT. 486 00:20:17,984 --> 00:20:20,720 YEAH. WELL, IT'S HOW YOU GROW. 487 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:23,022 IS THAT HOW YOU GROW? YOU HAVE TO VALIDATE YOURSELF, 488 00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:25,358 ASSUAGE YOUR OWN INSECURITIES BECAUSE YOU CAN'T RELY 489 00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:27,494 ON OTHER PEOPLE TO BRING THAT SHIT TO THE TABLE. 490 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,529 ALL RIGHT, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING, 491 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,364 IF HE'S NOT BEING FAITHFUL TO YOU 492 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:33,366 AND HE'S NOT THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILD, 493 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,967 WHAT IS HE BRINGING TO THE TABLE? 494 00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,337 ASIDE FROM THE FACIAL HAIR. 495 00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,573 OKAY, LOOK. THIS COULD BE MY LAST CHANCE. 496 00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,741 AND FUCK IT. 497 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:45,645 I'M NOT -- I'M NOT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO WORKS ALONE. 498 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,414 I NEED TO BE WITH SOMEBODY. 499 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:48,915 I MEAN, FOR CHRIST SAKES, 500 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,818 I WAS MARRIED TO A BIG HOMO FOR LIKE 10 YEARS, RIGHT? 501 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:52,952 [ WINCES ] SHIT. 502 00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,722 WHAT? YOU ALL RIGHT? NO. I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. 503 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,757 YOU GOT TO PUKE AGAIN? YOU GOT TO POOP? 504 00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:00,327 NO, I DON'T HAVE TO POOP! I FELT SOMETHING MOVE! 505 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,729 IT MOVED, AND I'VE NEVER FELT THAT BEFORE. OH. 506 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,898 HANG ON. HERE, HERE. JUST FEEL THAT. 507 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] ANYTHING? 508 00:21:08,034 --> 00:21:10,537 NO. LITTLE GAS, MAYBE. NO, IT'S NOT GAS. 509 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,671 [ CHUCKLES ] 510 00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:13,406 NO. NOTHING. 511 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,309 [ SIGHS ] I SWEAR. HOLD ON. LET ME. 512 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:18,010 HELLO, IN THERE. 513 00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,679 ANYBODY HOME? 514 00:21:19,712 --> 00:21:22,014 ANYBODY HOME? 515 00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:24,417 OH, SHIT, I FELT -- 516 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,419 RIGHT? RIGHT? ISN'T THAT WEIRD? YEAH. 517 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,788 HEY, GUYS. THIS FEELS KIND OF FAMILIAR. 518 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,823 OH, GOD, KAREN. HEY. 519 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,059 SOUNDS GOOD. SOUNDS GOOD. THANKS. 520 00:21:33,092 --> 00:21:34,794 OKAY. ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA, UM... 521 00:21:34,827 --> 00:21:37,964 I'M GONNA GO TRY TO FIND JULIAN. 522 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:40,600 THANK YOU. OKAY. 523 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:41,968 [ EXHALES SHARPLY ] 524 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,836 I DON'T SAY THIS OFTEN ENOUGH, 525 00:21:43,870 --> 00:21:46,606 SO I'M JUST GONNA -- I'M GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. 526 00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,575 WHAT? YOU WERE RIGHT. 527 00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:49,809 ABOUT WHAT? 528 00:21:49,842 --> 00:21:51,911 They do have an open relationship. 529 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:53,913 YOU JUST COULDN'T STAY OUT OF IT, COULD YOU? NO. 530 00:21:53,946 --> 00:21:54,781 GOOD. 531 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:56,849 WHY IS THAT GOOD? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 532 00:21:56,883 --> 00:21:59,386 YOU KNOW, ONLY A TOTAL ASSHOLE WOULD GET SOMEONE PREGNANT 533 00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:01,120 AND THEN SIT BACK AND DO NOTHING ABOUT IT. 534 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,989 AND YOU GOT INVOLVED. I MEAN, THAT'S GOOD. 535 00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:04,824 THAT'S PROGRESS FOR YOU. HEY, WELL DONE. 536 00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:07,394 HEY, BECCA. COME ON, LET'S GO. 537 00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:10,062 NO WAY. THIS IS TOO MUCH FUN. GRAB YOUR STUFF. 538 00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:11,998 IT'S LATE. DON'T ARGUE WITH ME. WE'RE GOING. 539 00:22:12,031 --> 00:22:13,633 FINE. 540 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:16,436 DON'T WORRY, KAREN. I'VE BEEN KEEPING AN EYE ON HER. 541 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:19,839 WELL, THAT'S GREAT. AND WHO'S BEEN KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU? 542 00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:22,542 GOOD NIGHT, SWEETIE. 543 00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:25,412 SUCH NICE FRIENDS. 544 00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:30,783 YOU KIND OF LOOK LIKE YOU COULD USE THAT DRINK. 545 00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,619 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 546 00:22:34,153 --> 00:22:35,755 [ SCISSORS SNIPPING ] 547 00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:37,524 AIEE! NOT SO ROUGH. 548 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,058 WOULD YOU QUIT SQUIRMING AROUND? 549 00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:40,927 I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOUR MAN-BUSH 550 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:42,495 A LITTLE MORE CAMERA-READY. 551 00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:44,597 YEAH, AND I'M GETTING THE FEELING 552 00:22:44,631 --> 00:22:46,466 THAT YOU'RE NOT SO OKAY ABOUT THIS. 553 00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:48,868 LOOK, I'M AS OKAY AS I CAN POSSIBLY BE. 554 00:22:48,901 --> 00:22:51,838 YOU, ON THE OTHER HAND, DON'T SEEM THAT EXCITED, 555 00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:52,972 ESPECIALLY FOR A GUY 556 00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:56,576 WHO'S ABOUT TO GET A LITTLE WIFE-SANCTIONED STRIZZ-ANGE. 557 00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:58,878 WELL, YOU KNOW, MAYBE A LITTLE LESS WITH THE SCISSOR. 558 00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,112 AND, I DON'T KNOW. 559 00:23:00,146 --> 00:23:01,648 COULD YOU, LIKE... 560 00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:04,651 DO THAT THING...YOU DO? 561 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,955 OH, JESUS. 562 00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:12,692 [ SIGHS ] 563 00:23:15,528 --> 00:23:17,797 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 564 00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:20,500 ALMOST READY FOR YOU, RUNKLE. 565 00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,535 I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU, MISSUS. 566 00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:24,537 DO YOU MIND? 567 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:32,211 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 568 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:36,616 NOW THERE THE PORCELAIN MONKEY I KNOW AND LOVE. 569 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,853 I'M DOING THIS FOR US. 570 00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,655 [ INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY ] 571 00:23:42,689 --> 00:23:44,090 I KNOW. 572 00:23:44,123 --> 00:23:46,993 NOW GO GET 'EM, QUICKDRAW. 573 00:23:47,026 --> 00:23:49,829 [ FILM NOIR MUSIC PLAYS ] 574 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,032 [ EXHALES DEEPLY ] 575 00:24:01,974 --> 00:24:05,244 YOU'RE GONNA BE GREAT, CO-STAR. 576 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:07,046 [ SIGHS ] 577 00:24:07,079 --> 00:24:09,181 HOW'S IT LOOK? DOES IT -- DOES IT LOOK OKAY? 578 00:24:09,215 --> 00:24:11,250 IT'S PERFECT, CHARLIE. 579 00:24:11,283 --> 00:24:13,520 YOU'RE PERFECT. 580 00:24:13,553 --> 00:24:16,022 ALL RIGHT, QUIET, PLEASE! 581 00:24:16,055 --> 00:24:18,190 ROLLING! 582 00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:20,827 AND...ACTION! 583 00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:22,829 [ PANTING, MOANING ] 584 00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:26,966 CHARLIE... 585 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,168 OH, SHIT. CHARLIE... 586 00:24:29,201 --> 00:24:31,638 I KNOW THAT LOOK. HE'S GONNA BLOW. 587 00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:33,840 SLOW IT DOWN, RUNKLE. 588 00:24:33,873 --> 00:24:35,742 AAH! AH! AAH! 589 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,844 FORGET IT, JAKE. 590 00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:39,879 IT'S VAGINATOWN! 591 00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:42,649 AAAH! OH... 592 00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:47,019 [ SHUDDERS ] 593 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:48,120 AND CUT! 594 00:24:48,154 --> 00:24:49,088 DID WE GET THAT? 595 00:24:49,121 --> 00:24:51,891 DID WE GET IT? PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT. 596 00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:56,128 THAT'LL DO, RUNKLE. THAT'LL DO. 597 00:24:56,162 --> 00:24:57,597 [ APPLAUSE ] 598 00:24:57,630 --> 00:25:01,233 WHOO! 599 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,915 GOD, YOU'RE... EXACTLY LIKE YOUR BOOKS. 600 00:25:15,948 --> 00:25:18,084 I'M EXACTLY LIKE MY BOOKS? 601 00:25:18,117 --> 00:25:21,087 YES -- TOTALLY PUERILE... 602 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:22,822 CRASS... 603 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:24,791 ADOLESCENT... 604 00:25:24,824 --> 00:25:26,793 NO, I KNOW WHAT "PUERILE" MEANS. YEAH. 605 00:25:26,826 --> 00:25:28,795 I'M ACTUALLY JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED 606 00:25:28,828 --> 00:25:30,597 THAT YOU READ MY BOOKS AT ALL. 607 00:25:30,630 --> 00:25:31,898 OH, YEAH. WELL, SURE. 608 00:25:31,931 --> 00:25:34,634 YOU KNOW, I TRY TO READ ALL THE GREAT MISOGYNISTS. 609 00:25:34,667 --> 00:25:37,804 IT REALLY FUELS MY FEMINIST FIRE. 610 00:25:37,837 --> 00:25:42,208 IN FACT, I-I ACTUALLY WROTE A REVIEW OF YOUR FIRST NOVEL. 611 00:25:42,241 --> 00:25:43,475 DID YOU? WHAT'D YOU SAY? 612 00:25:43,509 --> 00:25:46,713 YEAH, FOR A LITTLE MAGAZINE BACK IN CHICAGO. WHAT'D YOU SAY? 613 00:25:46,746 --> 00:25:49,616 I SAID THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS A SELF-RIGHTEOUS PRICK 614 00:25:49,649 --> 00:25:52,752 NO WOMAN IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD EVER ACTUALLY SLEEP WITH. 615 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:55,622 I CALLED IT "A RETARDED MAN'S"... "PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT." 616 00:25:55,655 --> 00:25:56,623 I REMEMBER THAT REVIEW. 617 00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:59,025 THAT WAS ONE OF THE WORST REVIEWS I EVER GOT. 618 00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:01,594 I'M DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN BE DRINKING BUDDIES ANYMORE, 619 00:26:01,628 --> 00:26:02,461 ANNIKA STALEY. 620 00:26:02,494 --> 00:26:04,864 THAT WAS DOWNRIGHT VICIOUS. THANK YOU. 621 00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,600 WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO WRITE SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 622 00:26:07,634 --> 00:26:10,036 I WAS KIND OF GOING THROUGH A LITTLE ROUGH PATCH IN MY LIFE, 623 00:26:10,069 --> 00:26:11,804 WAS WORKING OUT MY ISSUES WITH GUYS. 624 00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:12,905 YOU THINK? YEAH. 625 00:26:12,939 --> 00:26:14,306 YOU KNOW, WHEN I READ THAT, 626 00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:16,743 I WANTED TO MUFF-PUNCH YOU WITH MY TYPEWRITER. 627 00:26:16,776 --> 00:26:18,144 [ Chuckling ] OH. YEAH. 628 00:26:18,177 --> 00:26:19,746 OH. 629 00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:24,016 YOU STILL WANT TO? 630 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:27,019 [ INTRO TO "HAVE LOVE, WILL TRAVEL" PLAYS 631 00:26:27,053 --> 00:26:29,756 AAH! OH! FUCK! 632 00:26:29,789 --> 00:26:32,124 [ MOANING LOUDLY ] OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! 633 00:26:32,158 --> 00:26:33,726 [ CHUCKLES ] OKAY... 634 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,194 OH... 635 00:26:35,227 --> 00:26:38,164 OH, I MAY NEED TO TAKE BACK "PUERILE." 636 00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:39,365 MM, SO YOU'RE SAYING 637 00:26:39,398 --> 00:26:42,735 YOU'RE WILLING TO REEVALUATE MY OEUVRE. 638 00:26:42,769 --> 00:26:45,237 OW! OOH! AAH! WHAT, DO WE GOT AFTERSHOCK? 639 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:46,873 AH, NO, NO. TOE CRAMP. 640 00:26:46,906 --> 00:26:48,875 FLEX THAT SHIT. OW! FUCK, THAT HURTS! 641 00:26:48,908 --> 00:26:50,242 I GOT IT. LIKE A DOCTOR. 642 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:52,979 PLEASE STOP THIS. PLEASE, I JUST NEED SOME WATER. 643 00:26:53,012 --> 00:26:54,346 I'M JUST REALLY DEHYDRATED. 644 00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:57,149 I JUST NEED -- JUST NEED SOMETHING WITH ELECTROLYTES. 645 00:26:57,183 --> 00:26:58,284 OH, OKAY. 646 00:26:58,317 --> 00:27:01,253 VAGATORADE. 647 00:27:01,287 --> 00:27:04,023 YEAH. GOOD ONE. THAT WAS NICE. 648 00:27:04,056 --> 00:27:07,026 * HAVE LOVE 649 00:27:07,059 --> 00:27:10,697 * YEAH, BABY, WILL TRAVEL... 650 00:27:10,730 --> 00:27:12,098 HEY... 651 00:27:12,131 --> 00:27:13,833 WHO'S THE SCREAMER? 652 00:27:13,866 --> 00:27:16,402 OH, IT'S THE, UH, WRITER WOMAN FROM ROLLING STONE. 653 00:27:16,435 --> 00:27:19,205 OOH, NICE! GOT ME OFF MY RHYTHM, THOUGH. 654 00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:21,440 THE CHICK I WAS WITH -- JUST ABOUT TO COME. 655 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,976 HEARS THE OTHER ONE SCREAM, JUMPS RIGHT OUT OF HER SKIN. 656 00:27:24,010 --> 00:27:25,211 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 657 00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:27,213 SORRY. I SWEAR, FOR A SECOND THERE, 658 00:27:27,246 --> 00:27:29,415 I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA HIT ME OR SOMETHING, PUNCH ME. 659 00:27:29,448 --> 00:27:30,817 [ CHUCKLES ] ME LIKEY. 660 00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:33,252 * ...YEAH, BABY, WILL TRAVEL... * 661 00:27:33,285 --> 00:27:35,054 EXCUSE ME, GENTS. 662 00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:36,889 * ...HAVE LOVE... 663 00:27:36,923 --> 00:27:39,358 ME LIKEY. 664 00:27:39,391 --> 00:27:41,360 HAIL, CAESAR. 665 00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:46,332 * I SAID, IF YOU NEED LOVIN', BABY * 666 00:27:46,365 --> 00:27:50,269 * MM-MMM, I'LL TRAVEL 667 00:27:50,302 --> 00:27:52,371 * WELL, I MIGHT TAKE A BUS 668 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:54,673 * OR I'LL TAKE A PLANE * TAKE A PLANE 669 00:27:55,241 --> 00:27:55,908 * I MIGHT HITCHHIKE 670 00:27:57,109 --> 00:27:58,110 * OR TAKE A RAILROAD TRAIN * RAILROAD TRAIN 671 00:27:59,045 --> 00:28:02,048 * YOUR KIND OF LOVE DRIVES A MAN INSANE * 672 00:28:02,081 --> 00:28:05,752 * SO LOOKIN' FOR ME WALKING JUST ANY OLD WAY * 673 00:28:05,785 --> 00:28:08,020 * HAVE LOVE 674 00:28:08,054 --> 00:28:11,157 * YEAH, BABY, WILL TRAVEL 675 00:28:12,892 --> 00:28:15,494 * I SAID, IF YOU NEED LOVIN', BABY * 676 00:28:15,527 --> 00:28:17,496 * MM-MMM, I'LL TRAVEL 677 00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,498 -- Captions by VITAC -- www.vitac.com 678 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,400 CLOSED CAPTIONING PROVIDED BY SHOWTIME NETWORKS 679 00:28:21,433 --> 00:28:22,969 AND BLIND DECKER PRODUCTIONS