1 00:00:11,379 --> 00:00:12,680 - [laughs] 2 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:17,585 - OW. 3 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:23,457 JESUS H. CHRIST. 4 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,059 - HI, DADDY. 5 00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:26,660 - THIS IS BILL'S DAUGHTER, MIA, 6 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:28,062 AND THIS IS HANK. 7 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,830 YOU--YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER? 8 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,234 - NO. - I AM 16, YOU KNOW. 9 00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,503 WHAT'S THIS? - HANK'S NEW BOOK. 10 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:36,770 - ARE YOU REALLY 16? 11 00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,373 - I'M REALLY 16. - THIS IS REALLY GOOD. 12 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,375 - IT'S NOT A MEMOIR. 13 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:43,244 - IT'S A WRITTEN ACCOUNT OF MY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. 14 00:00:43,277 --> 00:00:45,579 - WRITTEN BY ME AS A FUCKING NOVEL. 15 00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,716 - I KNOW YOU'VE SET HIM UP, STOLE HIS BOOK. 16 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,184 - AND WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH? 17 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:52,286 - I GOT TO ASK, SINCE YOU ALWAYS TEND TO WRITE 18 00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:53,587 EXACTLY WHAT YOU KNOW, 19 00:00:53,621 --> 00:00:56,124 WHAT'S THE FUCKING DEAL? 20 00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,659 YOU HAVE DONE SOME FUCKED-UP SHIT IN YOUR TIME, 21 00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:01,562 BUT I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO THAT. 22 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:05,133 - WE HAVE TO LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS, 23 00:01:05,166 --> 00:01:07,701 NOT HIS POTENTIAL. 24 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,337 - GO. DRIVE THE CAR. 25 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,338 - KAREN. 26 00:01:10,371 --> 00:01:12,406 - YOU'RE SAYING THAT THE THREE OF US MOVE BACK 27 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:13,441 TO NEW YORK TOGETHER? 28 00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:15,176 - WELL, SOON, YEAH. 29 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:16,810 OKAY? 30 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,546 LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN. 31 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,249 - WHAT BRINGS YOU TO THESE FAIR PARTS? 32 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,684 - I'M DOING A LITTLE SIGNING/READING IN VENICE. 33 00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,119 I WANT YOU GUYS TO COME. 34 00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,587 - PAUL RIDER, MIA'S MANAGER. 35 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:29,257 - OH. HEY. - WOW. 36 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:31,825 - QUITE THE LITERARY SCANDAL WE HAVE HERE. 37 00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,461 - WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM? 38 00:01:33,494 --> 00:01:34,795 - BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM. 39 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,664 - THINK ABOUT KAREN AND THINK ABOUT BECCA. 40 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,299 - HANK, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. 41 00:01:40,168 --> 00:01:41,569 - STOP! - YOU'RE FUCKED, MOODY. 42 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,803 - I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 43 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,173 - OKAY. 44 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,441 [sirens wail] 45 00:01:53,881 --> 00:01:56,817 [Alice in Chains' Check My Brain] 46 00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:01,155 * 47 00:02:01,189 --> 00:02:05,726 - * SO I FOUND MYSELF IN THE SUN * 48 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:08,396 * OH, YEAH 49 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,231 * 50 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:13,867 * A HELL OF A PLACE TO END A RUN * 51 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:18,339 * OH, YEAH 52 00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:21,675 * CALIFORNIA 53 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,277 * I'M FINE 54 00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:26,580 * SOMEBODY, CHECK MY BRAIN 55 00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:31,785 * CALIFORNIA'S ALL RIGHT 56 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:35,756 * SOMEBODY, CHECK MY BRAIN 57 00:02:35,789 --> 00:02:38,192 * 58 00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,794 - HOME, SKEEVES. 59 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,862 - HEY, ARE YOU HUNGRY? 60 00:02:41,895 --> 00:02:43,697 YOU MUST BE STARVED. 61 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:45,966 YOU KNOW WHAT? COME ON. COME ON. WE'LL GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT. 62 00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:48,536 GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST, MY TREAT. 63 00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:49,403 - I GOT TO GET HOME. 64 00:02:49,437 --> 00:02:52,306 I GOT TO FACE THE MUSIC AT SOME POINT. 65 00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:54,375 WHAT? 66 00:02:54,408 --> 00:02:56,444 - WHAT? - WHAT'S THAT LOOK? 67 00:02:56,477 --> 00:02:57,845 - WHAT LOOK? 68 00:02:57,878 --> 00:03:00,414 - THAT SHIFTY, SOMEWHAT CUNTY LOOK OF YOURS. 69 00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,716 - [sighs] 70 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,552 I CAN'T TAKE YOU HOME, PALOMINO. 71 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,454 - WHY IS THAT, CHARLIE? 72 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,422 - I'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO. 73 00:03:08,456 --> 00:03:09,557 - BY KAREN? 74 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,325 - AND MARCY. 75 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,861 SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD KICK MY PALE, POCKMARKED ASS 76 00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:15,396 IF I BROUGHT YOU HOME RIGHT NOW. 77 00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,332 AND I BELIEVE THAT CRAZY, LITTLE BITCH TOO. 78 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:19,733 GET THIS. 79 00:03:19,767 --> 00:03:22,270 WE'RE SPLITTING THE SHEETS. YEAH. 80 00:03:22,303 --> 00:03:24,672 SHE SIGNED THE PAPERS. 81 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,574 IT TOTALLY BROKE MY HEART. 82 00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,676 REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA WORK IT OUT. 83 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,978 GUESS NOT. - CHARLIE! 84 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:33,281 - WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW? - CHARLIE! 85 00:03:33,314 --> 00:03:34,548 - YEAH? 86 00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,950 - I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL. 87 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,553 - [clears throat] 88 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:40,954 YOU'RE RIGHT. I'M SORRY. 89 00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:43,857 YOU WIN. YOU GOT IT WAY WORSE RIGHT NOW. 90 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:44,892 GET IN THE CAR. 91 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:47,328 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD SEE. 92 00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:59,573 - [groans] 93 00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,042 I DON'T GET IT, RUNKS. HOW'D IT GET OUT SO FAST? 94 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:03,944 - IT'S CALLED THE INTERWEB, HANK. 95 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,579 IT'S BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE NOW. 96 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:08,549 REMEMBER HOW FAST MY MASTURBATION VIDEO SPREAD? 97 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,683 THAT WAS UNNERVING. 98 00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,585 - THAT WAS FUNNY, 'CAUSE IT WAS YOU. 99 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,721 - YEAH. - NOT ME. 100 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,056 - YEAH, SOME STORY, HUH? - [chuckles] 101 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,825 - YEAH. TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I NEVER THOUGHT 102 00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,560 HE WAS MUCH OF A WRITER. - [laughs] 103 00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:22,029 - BUT NOW THE GUY'S MY FUCKING HERO. 104 00:04:22,062 --> 00:04:24,298 I MEAN, HE HIT THAT SHIT, RIGHT? 105 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:27,034 WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR A TASTE OF THAT SWEET PEACH. 106 00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,702 AH. 107 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:32,506 ALL RIGHT, PEACE. - YEAH, OKAY. 108 00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,007 THERE YOU GO... 109 00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,410 ANOTHER SATISFIED CUSTOMER. 110 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:37,878 - I'M GONNA ASK YOU A QUESTION, RUNKLE, 111 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,079 AND HOW YOU ANSWER WILL DETERMINE 112 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,815 WHETHER OR NOT I PUT THIS CIGARETTE OUT IN YOUR ASSHOLE. 113 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,784 WILL YOU TAKE ME THE FUCK HOME? 114 00:04:48,055 --> 00:04:49,723 - HOME IT IS, MY GOOD MAN. 115 00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,779 - YOU'RE A USELESS FUCK, YOU KNOW THAT? 116 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,681 - THE MAN THREATENED PHYSICAL VIOLENCE, MARCY. 117 00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:15,383 - SO DID I, YOU STUPID MUTT. 118 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:16,650 - YOU CAN'T HURT ME ANYMORE, YOU KNOW. 119 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,419 YOU ALREADY TORE MY FUCKING HEART OUT. 120 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,854 - GO AWAY, HANK. I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU IN. 121 00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,390 - I GET IT, MARCE. YOU'RE A GOOD FRIEND. 122 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,525 YOU'RE THE GATEKEEPER, BUT THIS IS MY HOME. 123 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,927 IT'S MY FAMILY. - IS IT TRUE? 124 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,028 - THE MAN WAS FRAMED. 125 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:31,365 - YES, IT'S TRUE, BUT IT'S ALSO HUGELY COMPLICATED. 126 00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:34,402 - I BELIEVE YOU. 127 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:37,971 I DO, BUT STILL, IT'S PRETTY FUCKING GRODY. 128 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:42,009 - MM. YOU'LL GET NO ARGUMENT FROM ME. 129 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,111 NOW, WHAT'S THE MOVE HERE? ARE YOU GONNA STEP ASIDE, 130 00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,879 OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO PICK YOU UP AND MOVE YOU ASIDE 131 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:49,016 LIKE THE GORGEOUS LITTLE GARDEN GNOME THAT YOU ARE? 132 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,718 - GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, HANK, 133 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,119 BEFORE BECCA COMES HOME. 134 00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:53,921 - I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HER. HOW IS SHE? 135 00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:55,856 - OH, SHE'S GREAT. SHE'S FANTASTIC. 136 00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:57,491 I CAN'T KEEP HER OFF THE COMPUTER, THOUGH, 137 00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,059 'CAUSE SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT. 138 00:05:59,092 --> 00:06:00,794 SHE THINKS YOU WERE SET UP. 139 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:02,696 DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT AWAY FROM HER? 140 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,031 DO YOU WANT TO HAVE TO LOOK HER IN THE EYE 141 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,166 AND TELL HER THAT YOU PUT YOUR DICK 142 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,102 IN A GIRL THAT'S THE SAME AGE THAT SHE IS RIGHT NOW? 143 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:10,871 'CAUSE IF YOU DO, STICK AROUND. 144 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,873 FUCK YOU. - WELL-- 145 00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:15,876 - WELL, CALL ME MR. BRIGHTSIDE, 146 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:18,111 BUT I THINK WE'RE MAKING SOME SERIOUS PROGRESS HERE. 147 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,714 WHAT? SHE WANTED YOU TO HAVE A CHANGE OF CLOTHES. 148 00:06:20,748 --> 00:06:23,684 THAT WAS VERY THOUGHTFUL OF HER. 149 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,059 - SO THE ARRAIGNMENT'S TOMORROW MORNING. 150 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,927 IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL DO WHAT I CAN 151 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:37,598 TO PLEA DOWN THE ASSAULT AND BATTERY. 152 00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,600 YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? 153 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:41,869 - YES. DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE? 154 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:45,005 - SURE DO. - HMM? 155 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,541 - MM-HMM. 156 00:06:47,575 --> 00:06:48,909 - HANK. 157 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,979 HANK. HANK. 158 00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,647 - IS THERE SOMETHING I SHOULD KNOW HERE? 159 00:06:53,681 --> 00:06:54,982 - SUCH AS? - IS HE RETARDED? 160 00:06:55,015 --> 00:06:57,751 - HEY. - HE'S ACTUALLY QUITE A GOOD GUY 161 00:06:57,785 --> 00:06:59,219 ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HIM. 162 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,455 HE'S--HE'S VERY PLEASANT, VERY AGREEABLE. 163 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,623 - GOOD TO KNOW, 164 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:04,925 BECAUSE ON PAPER HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL PIECE OF SHIT. 165 00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:07,060 - HEY, NOW. - ABBY HERE IS THE BEST THERE IS 166 00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,162 AT DEFENDING THE UNJUSTLY ACCUSED. 167 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,466 HEY, HEY, REMEMBER THAT POOR GUY WHO KEPT SHOWING HIS PENIS 168 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,333 TO THE LAKER GIRLS? 169 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,003 SHE TOTALLY GOT HIM OFF. - IMPRESSIVE. 170 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:20,641 - SO WHAT WAS IT YOU WANTED TO DO, ABBY, YOU KNOW, BEFORE? 171 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,843 - OKAY, I'LL PLAY. 172 00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:23,844 BEFORE WHAT? 173 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,880 - BEFORE YOU SOLD OUT AND WENT TO LAW SCHOOL. 174 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,782 UP TOP. - CUTE. 175 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,183 - CAN'T HELP IT. THE GUY'S CUTE. 176 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,652 - HE'S ALSO A THREE-TIME LOSER. 177 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,021 - WELL, NOW YOU'RE JUST NAME-CALLING. 178 00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,256 - IT SAYS HERE YOU WERE ARRESTED FOR ASSAULTING A, UH, FILMMAKER 179 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,591 NAMED TODD CARR. 180 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,159 - SHITTY FILMMAKER NAMED TODD CARR. 181 00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,729 DOES IT SAY "SHITTY" THERE? 'CAUSE IT SHOULD. 182 00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:43,230 - THE CHARGES WERE DROPPED AT MR. CARR'S REQUEST. 183 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:44,865 SHORTLY THEREAFTER, AN ALTERCATION 184 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,700 WITH AN L.A.P.D. OFFICER. 185 00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:49,803 MM. GOT OFF LIGHT--PROBATION. 186 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:52,272 HOW'D YOU MANAGE THAT ONE? 187 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,041 REALLY? 188 00:07:54,074 --> 00:07:56,143 - HE'D JUST HAD A VASECTOMY. - POINT BEING? 189 00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:59,680 - COP NIGHTSTICKED HIM IN THE BALLS-- 190 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,148 BIG MISUNDERSTANDING. - OH, YEAH. 191 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:02,082 TELL THAT TO MY BALLS. 192 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:04,785 I STILL GOT A TOUCH OF THE EPIDIDYMITIS. 193 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,820 WHENEVER IT FLARES UP, I GOT TO SOAK MY POUCH 194 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,623 IN FOUR INCHES OF TEPID BATHWATER. 195 00:08:09,657 --> 00:08:11,291 TALK ABOUT A PARTY. - YOU KNOW WHAT? 196 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,161 THIS IS A BIG FUCKING WASTE OF MY TIME. 197 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:15,629 GOOD LUCK TO YOU, MR. MOODY. 198 00:08:15,663 --> 00:08:16,864 - APOLOGIZE, YOU IDIOT. 199 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:19,032 - OKAY, LOOK, I'M SORRY 200 00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,868 THAT I TALKED ABOUT MY BALLS, 201 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,136 MY BIG, BEAUTIFUL BALLS. 202 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,738 IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE. 203 00:08:24,772 --> 00:08:26,039 NO, I GET IT. I GET IT. 204 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,575 I GET HOW SERIOUS THIS ALL IS, YOU KNOW, 205 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:28,842 AND I DON'T WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME. 206 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,243 - REALLY? - YES. 207 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,780 IT'S JUST THAT I TRUST YOU TO DO WHATEVER VOODOO IT IS 208 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:35,148 THAT YOU DO DO FOR ME. 209 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,785 SO I'M GONNA-- I PUT MYSELF IN YOUR HANDS. 210 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,119 I'M PUTTY FOR YOU. 211 00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:41,822 I'LL TUMBLE FOR YOU. I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. 212 00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,329 - START WITH A SHOWER. 213 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,865 YOU SMELL LIKE YOU JUST WALKED OUT OF A FISTING CONTEST. 214 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,867 I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW MORNING. 215 00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:55,836 DON'T BE LATE. 216 00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,240 - SHE'S GOOD. 217 00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,909 SHE TOTALLY NAILED IT. 218 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:11,785 - THE PRODIGAL SON RETURNS. 219 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:13,921 - DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU WANT TO PLEASURE YOURSELF, RUNKS, 220 00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,789 JUST A LITTLE BIT? - I WON'T LIE. 221 00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,024 THERE IS SLIGHT TUMESCENCE. 222 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,992 - [groans] WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? 223 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:22,029 - ALL WILL BE REVEALED IN GOOD TIME, MY FRIEND. 224 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,598 MEANWHILE, I GOTS TO DRAIN THE HOG. 225 00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:25,733 - OH, COME ON. 226 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,168 WE ALL KNOW THAT THING IS THIN, BENT, AND UNCIRCUMCISED. 227 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,670 DON'T BULLSHIT ME. - JESUS CHRIST. 228 00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:30,971 HOW MANY TIMES I GOT TO TELL YOU? 229 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,039 I AM NOT UNCIRCUMCISED. 230 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,775 THE MOHEL JUST LEFT A LITTLE TOO MUCH FORESKIN. 231 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,777 THAT'S ALL-- A SMIDGE, JUST A SMIDGE. 232 00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:40,113 - [laughs] SO IT'S LIKE A CIRC-DU-HALFWAY? 233 00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:41,649 - [laughs] 234 00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:43,684 - [grunts] 235 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:55,162 - HEY. [whistles] 236 00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,338 - THERE. YOU HAPPY? 237 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:08,208 - VERY MUCH SO. THANKS. 238 00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:15,683 I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU. 239 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:18,218 - OH. ALL RIGHT. 240 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:19,987 YOU'RE NOT REALLY MY TYPE, ANYWAY. 241 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,755 - REALLY? - YEAH, I LIKE 'EM OLDER... 242 00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,090 AND HANDICAPPED. - OH. 243 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,158 - EXCUSE ME. HANDI-CAPABLE. - [laughs] 244 00:10:25,192 --> 00:10:27,294 - WELL, NOW I'M DEFINITELY, FOR SURE, 245 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:29,797 NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH YOU. 246 00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:33,300 - HANK. - MIA. 247 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,868 - OKAY. YOU WIN, LADY. 248 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:36,203 YOU'RE OFFICIALLY CREEPING ME OUT. 249 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,771 WHAT--WHAT--WHAT... 250 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:39,940 - SORRY. PROFESSIONAL HAZARD. 251 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,942 - WHAT DO YOU DO? - HELLO, HELLO. 252 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,276 I SEE YOU TWO HAVE ALREADY MET. 253 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,278 - NO, SHE INTRODUCED HERSELF TO ME AS MIA 254 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,279 AND TOTALLY BUMMED ME OUT. 255 00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,214 - CHARLIE RUNKLE. 256 00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:49,449 I AM SO PLEASED TO MEET YOU-- HUGE FAN. 257 00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,152 - MY GUY FRIDAY-- SMOOTH, REAL SMOOTH. 258 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,254 - HANK MOODY, SASHA BINGHAM. 259 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:55,923 - SASHA BINGHAM. ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT YOU DO, SASHA? 260 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:59,059 - OOH. - AH! HE'S A KIDDER, THIS ONE. 261 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,094 HE'S A KIDDER. HE'S KIDDING. 262 00:11:01,128 --> 00:11:04,164 GUYS. LADIES. 263 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,833 SHE'S A FUCKING MOVIE STAR, YOU NUDNIK. 264 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:06,900 - HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? 265 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,268 - WELL, LOOK, OPEN YOUR EYES. 266 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,137 - I'VE BEEN IN JAIL, CHARLIE. - LOOK. LOOK. 267 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,905 YOU'VE BEEN IN JAIL 72 HOURS, HANK. 268 00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,841 - A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN A WEEKEND. 269 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:16,409 - COME WITH ME. COME WITH ME. 270 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:22,382 - WHEN I WAS IN JUNIOR HIGH, I SAW FAST TIMES... 271 00:11:22,415 --> 00:11:25,185 - FAST TIMES-- GREAT FUCKING MOVIE. 272 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,254 - JESUS CHRIST, RUNKLE. SETTLE DOWN. 273 00:11:27,287 --> 00:11:29,857 - I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. 274 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,158 CONTINUE, PLEASE. 275 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:32,926 - THANK YOU, ROGER EBERT. 276 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,128 SO ANYWAY, PHOEBE CATES TOOK OFF HER TOP, 277 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:37,230 AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE, 278 00:11:37,264 --> 00:11:40,901 WHICH IS WHY I WANT TO TAKE FUCKING & PUNCHING 279 00:11:40,934 --> 00:11:44,104 AND GIVE MY INNER 12-YEAR-OLD THE MOVIE HE FUCKING DESERVES. 280 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,906 I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU. 281 00:11:45,939 --> 00:11:47,875 I'M A BIG FAN OF GRATUITOUS NUDITY. 282 00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,277 - FORGET IT. SASHA BINGHAM IS AMERICA'S SWEETHEART-- 283 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,779 THE GIRL NEXT DOOR. 284 00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:53,346 SHE'S NOT DOING ANY GRATUITOUS NUDITY. 285 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:56,449 - NUDITY? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE NUDITY. 286 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:57,851 I HAVE GREAT TITS. 287 00:11:57,885 --> 00:11:59,086 - GREAT TITS. 288 00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,988 - AND IF I'M EVER GONNA SHOW THEM ON SCREEN, 289 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:01,989 NOW'S THE TIME. 290 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,791 - NOW IS THE TIME. 291 00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:06,326 - YOU KNOW, A LOT OF ACTRESSES SAY THAT, 292 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,996 AND THEN YOU GET TO THE... - OH, YEAH. 293 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,798 - HOLY SHIT. - WHOO. 294 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:11,932 - OH, SWEET LORD. - THERE. 295 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:13,333 YOU HAPPY? 296 00:12:13,366 --> 00:12:14,935 - I'M HAVING HEART PALPITATIONS. 297 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,137 - YOU KNOW WHAT, RUNKS? I'M GLAD I CAME. 298 00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,505 - I'M GLAD YOU CAME TOO. - YEAH. 299 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,140 - WHAT I CARE ABOUT IS THE SCRIPT, 300 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:21,842 BECAUSE RIGHT NOW IT'S A FUCKING MESS. 301 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,944 - AGREED. IT NEEDS SOME WORK. 302 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,078 - A LOT OF WORK. 303 00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,214 I MEAN, THE ONLY REASON WHY I'M EVEN CONSIDERING THIS 304 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,049 IS BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE THE BOOK. 305 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,050 - CHEERS. 306 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,219 NOT ONLY DOES THE LADY HAVE BODACIOUS TATAS, 307 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:35,055 SHE ALSO HAS SPLENDIFEROUS TASTE IN LITERATURE. 308 00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,523 - THAT SHE DOES. 309 00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,126 AND CONSIDERING THAT YOU ACTUALLY WROTE THE BOOK 310 00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:41,829 THAT I LOVE, HOW ABOUT YOU REWRITE THE SCRIPT 311 00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,797 THAT I LOATHE? - OH! NO, NO, NO. 312 00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:46,333 MY ADVENTURES IN THE SCREEN TRADE HAVE BEEN 313 00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,068 ABOUT AS MUCH FUN AS FORCED ANAL, 314 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,470 NOT THAT FORCED ANAL CAN'T BE FUN. 315 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,840 - YOU'RE A FANTASTIC WRITER, HANK. 316 00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,507 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING. 317 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,410 I AM NOT IMMUNE TO KIND WORDS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE SO TRUE. 318 00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,979 PLEASE CONTINUE. 319 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:01,014 - UH, FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH, 320 00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,984 HANK, I WANTED YOU TO ADAPT THE BOOK 321 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:05,919 BACK WHEN I FIRST OPTIONED IT, 322 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,455 AND I WAS DISAPPOINTED WHEN YOU PASSED. 323 00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:10,824 - I PASSED? I DID? - YEAH. 324 00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,893 - I--NO, I DON'T REMEMBER GETTING THAT OFFER. 325 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,361 - I PASSED ON YOUR BEHALF. 326 00:13:14,394 --> 00:13:16,063 I THOUGHT IT'D BE TOO WEIRD FOR YOU. 327 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:19,599 - AND YOU WONDER WHY MY CAREER IS IN SUCH DISREPAIR. 328 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,501 - I NEVER WONDER ABOUT THAT. 329 00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:24,237 - CALL ME A SCUMBAG, BUT THERE IS 330 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,107 A REAL MOMENT RIGHT HERE. 331 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,209 WITH SASHA'S INTEREST 332 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,478 AND WITH HANK'S FACE ALL OVER THE NEWS RIGHT NOW, 333 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:34,247 WE COULD BE AT SUNDANCE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. 334 00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,515 - [grunts disapprovingly] 335 00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,384 - HANK, LET ME HANDLE THIS. 336 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,853 - WELL, YOU--THEN HANDLE IT, MOTHERFUCKER. 337 00:13:39,887 --> 00:13:41,288 - IN PROCESS. I'M IN PROCESS. 338 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,991 - OKAY. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I-I APOLOGIZE. 339 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,258 I'VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH. 340 00:13:45,292 --> 00:13:46,426 I JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL, 341 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,395 AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT, EATEN, 342 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,097 OR-- PARDON ME, MILADY-- 343 00:13:50,130 --> 00:13:51,631 TAKEN A DECENT CRAP IN DAYS. 344 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,434 - [laughs] - UH... 345 00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:57,404 EXCEPT THIS COFFEE DOES-- DOES SEEM TO BE WORKING. 346 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:01,608 YES, INDEED, IT IS TIME TO RELEASE THE KRAKEN. 347 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,944 ALL RIGHT, I WANT TO THANK EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, 348 00:14:03,977 --> 00:14:05,078 ESPECIALLY YOU, SASHA BINGHAM. 349 00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,213 YOU SAY YOU HAVE GREAT TITS, 350 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,948 AND I MOST CERTAINLY CONCUR, 351 00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:11,251 BUT THAT ASS OF YOURS IS NO SLOUCH EITHER. 352 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:19,126 - I WANT THIS MOVIE. 353 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:21,394 - OH, WE WANT YOU TO WANT THIS MOVIE. 354 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,397 [chuckles] 355 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,967 - WHAT WAS THE QUESTION? I'M SORRY. 356 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,401 I'M INCREDIBLY HIGH RIGHT NOW. 357 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,403 - LOOK, I HAVE A WINDOW, 358 00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,205 AND I WANT THIS TO BE MY NEXT THING, 359 00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,074 BUT THE SCRIPT HAS TO BE RIGHT, AND THE MAN 360 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:35,943 DROPPING THE DEUCE IS YOUR BEST SHOT AT GETTING IT THERE. 361 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,945 SO IF NOT, 362 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:40,213 THERE'S ALWAYS CAA. 363 00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:41,949 I'M IN TOWN FOR A FEW DAYS. 364 00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:44,985 YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. 365 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:55,228 - WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY... 366 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,965 THE MASTER APPEARS. 367 00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,666 - IS THAT A QUOTE? I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 368 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:03,971 - WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT I HAVE SOMETHING 369 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,306 THAT YOU WANT. 370 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,376 I'M SORRY-- SOMETHING THAT YOU NEED. 371 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,477 - OKAY, I'LL PLAY THIS GAME. 372 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,012 WHAT IS IT YOU WANT, RUNKLE? 373 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,147 HOW CAN WE HELP YOU HELP YOUR CLIENT? 374 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,349 - AH! SEE, THAT'S WHAT I LOVE. 375 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:18,551 THAT'S WHAT I MISS-- BEING PART OF A TEAM, 376 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:23,390 HELPING WILDLY TALENTED PEOPLE ACHIEVE THEIR WILDEST DREAMS... 377 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,225 HAVING AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT, 378 00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,027 A CAR ALLOWANCE, 379 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,528 A YOUNG, NUBILE ASSISTANT 380 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,697 TO FETCH ME MY CARAMEL MACCHIATO. 381 00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,631 - DONE. 382 00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:34,301 YOU CONVINCE YOUR CLIENT TO TAKE THIS JOB, 383 00:15:34,334 --> 00:15:36,403 MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T SHIT THE BED, 384 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,205 AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OLD JOB BACK. 385 00:15:38,238 --> 00:15:39,672 HAPPY? 386 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,442 OH, JUST ONE LITTLE THING-- 387 00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:44,444 TRY AND KEEP YOUR FUCKING DICK IN YOUR PANTS THIS TIME, 388 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,213 OR I WILL RIP IT OFF WITH MY BARE HANDS. 389 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,380 I PROMISE. 390 00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:50,583 [The Rolling Stones' Can't You Hear Me Knocking] 391 00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:55,522 * 392 00:15:55,555 --> 00:16:00,427 - * YEAH, YOU GOT SATIN SHOES * 393 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,129 - THIS ONE'S ON ME. 394 00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:03,563 - OH, THANK YOU. 395 00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:04,631 - MM-HMM. - MM. 396 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,466 DRINKS ON THE HOUSE. - THANK YOU. 397 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,567 - MM-HMM. 398 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:11,604 - * Y'ALL GOT COCAINE EYES 399 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:15,108 - OH. 400 00:16:15,142 --> 00:16:17,044 - HOW DO YOU DO IT? 401 00:16:17,077 --> 00:16:21,281 - UH, IT'S AN OLD JEDI MIND TRICK. 402 00:16:21,314 --> 00:16:23,250 - I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER ASKED YOU THIS BEFORE, 403 00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:26,153 BUT HOW MANY? 404 00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,687 - HOW MANY? HOW MANY? 405 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,589 - HOW MANY BROADS HAVE YOU BALLED? 406 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:33,293 - "BROADS"? "BALLED"? WHO ARE YOU RIGHT NOW? 407 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:34,294 - OKAY, FINE. 408 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:36,429 HOW MANY WOMEN TO WHOM HAVE YOU MADE THE LOVE? 409 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,098 - YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THAT KIND OF SHIT. 410 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,799 YOU DON'T WANT THAT INFORMATION RATTLING AROUND YOUR HEAD, 411 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,602 MAKING YOU FEEL ALL EFFEMINATE AND EMASCULATED AND SHIT. 412 00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:44,237 - SURE I DO. - TRUST ME. 413 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,773 SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT TO YOUR LIMITED IMAGINATION. 414 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,308 - YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH? 415 00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,476 - MM-MM. 416 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,710 NO. NO, NO, NO. 417 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:55,348 ALL THIS TALK ABOUT SLEEPING WITH WOMEN IS MAKING ME SLEEPY. 418 00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,549 - ONE. 419 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,650 11. 420 00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,152 - 11. - 11. 421 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,121 WELL, THAT'S DOUBLE DIGITS, SOUNDS GOOD-- 422 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,656 PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE NUMBER FOR A COCKSMAN OF YOUR CALIBER. 423 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,358 AND IT REMINDS ME OF SPINAL TAP. 424 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,393 CHEERS. 425 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:10,430 - I GOT TO GET IT UP TO 100. 426 00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:14,334 TRIPLE DIGITS, THEN I CAN DIE HAPPY. 427 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,536 - WELL, YOU MAY HAVE TO CRYOGENICALLY FREEZE YOUR COCK 428 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:19,506 AND ATTACH IT TO BRAD PITT TO GET THERE, BUDDY BOY. 429 00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,308 - YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT? 430 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,210 - [chuckling] NO, I DON'T. 431 00:17:23,243 --> 00:17:25,145 AND I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS. 432 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,747 11 WOMEN-- WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 433 00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:31,584 - MARCY. - YOU SEE THAT? 434 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,420 YOU HAD THE MAGIC PUSS, AND YOU LOST IT. 435 00:17:33,453 --> 00:17:35,288 DO YOU THINK THAT BALLING 89 MORE BROADS 436 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:36,856 IS GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT THAT? 437 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,226 - IT WOULD CERTAINLY BE A START. 438 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,166 - DO YOU THINK, UH... 439 00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,835 DO YOU THINK THAT LADY LAWYER WAS-- 440 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,803 DO YOU THINK SHE WAS RIGHT? - ABOUT WHAT? 441 00:17:50,837 --> 00:17:52,439 - SHE CALLED ME A PIECE OF SHIT. 442 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:53,706 - ON PAPER-- 443 00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,342 SHE SAID YOU WERE A PIECE OF SHIT ON PAPER. 444 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,476 - STILL. 445 00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:57,844 - YOU'RE NOT A PIECE OF SHIT, HANK, 446 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,413 PAPER OR OTHERWISE. 447 00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:01,748 YOU MAY BE MY WORST CLIENT, 448 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,384 BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN MY BEST FRIEND. 449 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:08,555 AND ME LOVE YOU VERY LONG TIME. 450 00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:11,724 - I REFUSE TO BE NUMBER 12, CHARLIE. 451 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,194 - OH, I WASN'T COUNTING THE GUYS. 452 00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,628 [laughs] 453 00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:17,330 - HEY, CAN I CRASH WITH YOU GUYS TONIGHT? 454 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,765 YOU THINK MARCY'LL MIND IF I TAKE THE MASTER? 455 00:18:18,798 --> 00:18:21,301 - CAN'T DO IT, HANK. - OKAY, I'LL FLIP HER FOR IT. 456 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,170 [cell phone chimes] 457 00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,338 NO. WHAT? 458 00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:27,574 THE CUNTY LOOK--STOP. 459 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,808 PUT YOUR FACE BACK. 460 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,278 - YOU GOT ANOTHER MEETING. 461 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:32,745 - [groans] 462 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,348 - WE BE MEETING AND A-GREETING. 463 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,584 [elevator bell dings] 464 00:18:41,354 --> 00:18:43,256 - FUCK YOU, CHARLIE. I'M NOT DOING THIS. 465 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,294 - I TOLD HER YOU WOULD. - WELL, THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM. 466 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,696 I JUST WANT TO GO THE FUCK HOME. - YOU DON'T GOT ONE. 467 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,231 YOU'RE HOMELESS. GET USED TO IT. 468 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,465 - THEN I WANT TO GO TO YOUR PLACE. 469 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,701 - MY PLACE? MY PLACE IS IN FUCKING ESCROW. 470 00:18:54,734 --> 00:18:56,469 I'M LIVING ON BORROWED TIME 471 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:57,670 IN A HOUSE THAT NO LONGER BELONGS TO ME 472 00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,839 WITH A WOMAN WHO NO LONGER WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME. 473 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,941 YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY EXILE ON MAIN STREET, HANK. 474 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:03,310 - WHATEVER. I'D SETTLE 475 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:04,811 FOR A DECENT NIGHT'S SLEEP AT THIS POINT. 476 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,379 - WELL, MAYBE YOUR NEWEST, BESTEST FRIEND 477 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,448 WILL LET YOU CRASH. - OH, BULLSHIT. 478 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,683 I HAVE, LIKE, ZERO INTEREST IN CHASING TAIL RIGHT NOW. 479 00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,186 - THAT'S FINE-- TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE. 480 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:15,655 BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE INTEREST IN CHASING THIS JOB. 481 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,690 YOU ALWAYS TALK A BIG GAME 482 00:19:17,724 --> 00:19:19,859 ABOUT DOING THE GOOD WORK AND FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT. 483 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,528 WELL, HERE'S YOUR CHANCE. 484 00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:23,730 STOP FEELING SO FUCKING SORRY FOR YOURSELF 485 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,398 AND GET IN THERE AND CARPE 486 00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:26,499 THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT. - ALL RIGHT. 487 00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,368 WE'RE SURE THIS IS JUST ABOUT REWRITING MY HISTORY, 488 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:29,802 NOT YOURS. 489 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:31,838 - SO WHAT IF IT IS, HUH? 490 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,640 YOU THINK I WOULDN'T JUMP AT THE CHANCE 491 00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:34,941 TO GET BACK SOME VERSION OF WHAT I LOST? 492 00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,643 YOU DON'T THINK I DESERVE THAT? 493 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:44,951 - FINE. 494 00:19:44,984 --> 00:19:47,687 I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. 495 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,556 - I KNEW YOU WOULD. - ASSHOLE. 496 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,958 - ATTA BOY, DOUCHE BAG. 497 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,960 I'M PROUD OF YOU. 498 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,303 - HI. 499 00:20:05,972 --> 00:20:07,240 COME ON IN. 500 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,976 [elevator bell dings] 501 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,850 - WOW, WHEN YOU SAID YOU HAD SOME NOTES, 502 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:20,720 YOU REALLY HAD SOME FUCKING NOTES. 503 00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,821 - DO THEY MAKE SENSE? 504 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,723 - UH, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY, 505 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:26,293 WHEN I GET AROUND TO READING THE SCRIPT. 506 00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,728 I THINK WE'RE PRETTY MUCH ON THE SAME PAGE... 507 00:20:28,761 --> 00:20:30,297 OR PAGES. 508 00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:34,334 - [laughs] - PAGES AND PAGES AND PAGES. 509 00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,568 - YOU LOOK TIRED. 510 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:39,272 - YEAH, WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG LIFE. 511 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,608 - GO HOME. 512 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:44,444 - I WOULD THAT I COULD. I AIN'T GOT NONE. 513 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:47,347 I'M HOMELESS. 514 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,782 - YOU'RE PRETTY HANDSOME FOR A HOMELESS FELLOW. 515 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:52,319 - I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT. 516 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,721 BUT I DO HAVE GREAT TITS. - [laughs] 517 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,456 WELL, YOU CAN CRASH HERE IF YOU WANT. 518 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,990 AS YOU CAN SEE, I HAVE PLENTY OF ROOM-- 519 00:20:58,024 --> 00:20:59,526 TOO MUCH, ACTUALLY. 520 00:20:59,559 --> 00:21:03,062 - THAT IS, UH-- THAT'S PRETTY TEMPTING. 521 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,332 - AS IT SHOULD BE. 522 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,433 - YEAH. 523 00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,371 YOU DO HAVE A BEAUTIFUL... BED. 524 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,340 - OH. 525 00:21:15,908 --> 00:21:18,778 DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE THE PERFECT GENTLEMAN. 526 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,980 COME ON. 527 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,917 - I'VE BEEN HURT BEFORE. [grunts] 528 00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,886 - COME ON. 529 00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:29,656 SO ONE MORE QUESTION ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. 530 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,057 - SHOOT. 531 00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:33,593 - WHAT DOES MIA WANT? 532 00:21:33,626 --> 00:21:35,995 - MIA WANTS WHAT ALL GIRLS WANT-- 533 00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:40,032 A GUY JUST GAY ENOUGH TO CURL UP AND WATCH PROJECT RUNWAY WITH. 534 00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,501 - [laughs] 535 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,436 YEAH, AND WHAT DOES HANK WANT? 536 00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:44,937 - HANK... 537 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:47,674 OH. WANTS TO CLOSE HIS EYES 538 00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:49,742 AND WAKE UP IN HIS OWN BED 539 00:21:49,776 --> 00:21:51,511 NEXT TO THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, 540 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:54,881 LISTENING TO THE SWEET, MELLIFLUOUS SOUNDS 541 00:21:54,914 --> 00:21:57,484 OF HIS DAUGHTER'S HEAVY-METAL GUITAR 542 00:21:57,517 --> 00:22:00,052 COMING FROM THE BEDROOM NEXT. 543 00:22:02,655 --> 00:22:04,924 - YOU REALLY LOVE THEM, DON'T YOU? 544 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,594 - SO MUCH SO THAT THE WORDS THEMSELVES 545 00:22:07,627 --> 00:22:09,596 SOUND UNSPEAKABLY LAME. 546 00:22:09,629 --> 00:22:12,565 - GOD, THAT'S HOT. 547 00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:19,105 - * AND I LAID TRAPS FOR TROUBADOURS * 548 00:22:19,138 --> 00:22:21,741 * WHO GET KILLED BEFORE THEY REACH BOMBAY * 549 00:22:26,112 --> 00:22:27,013 - LIAR. 550 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:29,916 - OOH, ANOTHER HAZARD OF THE PROFESSION. 551 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:32,785 BESIDES, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 552 00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,854 - NO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY SAY. 553 00:22:34,887 --> 00:22:36,423 - IF YOU CAN'T BE WITH THE ONE YOU LOVE... 554 00:22:36,456 --> 00:22:37,457 - STOP. STOP. 555 00:22:37,490 --> 00:22:39,426 AGAIN WITH THE UNSPEAKABLY LAME. 556 00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:41,761 - I KNOW. 557 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:45,732 THAT'S WHY I NEED A WRITER. 558 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:53,940 * 559 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,127 - * PLEASED TO MEET YOU 560 00:23:15,161 --> 00:23:17,764 * HOPE YOU GUESSED MY NAME 561 00:23:17,797 --> 00:23:19,031 - WHAT WAS IT LIKE? 562 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,600 - WHAT WAS WHAT LIKE? 563 00:23:20,633 --> 00:23:22,502 - THE PUNCH. 564 00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:25,137 - [sighs] - [laughs] 565 00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:29,776 - WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT. 566 00:23:29,809 --> 00:23:31,778 GO ON. GIVE IT A SHOT. 567 00:23:31,811 --> 00:23:32,879 - REALLY? 568 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,515 - YEAH. COME ON. 569 00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,785 - [laughs] 570 00:23:41,621 --> 00:23:44,457 - YOU HIT LIKE A GIRL. JESUS CHRIST. 571 00:23:44,491 --> 00:23:46,493 IT WAS A PUNCH, DARLING, NOT A SLAP. 572 00:23:46,526 --> 00:23:48,761 - ALL RIGHT. 573 00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:52,131 - * HAVE SOME SYMPATHY 574 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,199 - OH. 575 00:23:53,232 --> 00:23:54,801 HARDER. 576 00:23:54,834 --> 00:23:56,869 - HARDER? - HARDER. 577 00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:59,171 - ALL RIGHT. 578 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:02,174 - MM. 579 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:05,177 [chuckling] 580 00:24:05,211 --> 00:24:08,548 HARDER. - [grunts] 581 00:26:11,838 --> 00:26:14,206 - [gasps] [knocking at door] 582 00:26:17,977 --> 00:26:19,946 [knocking continues] 583 00:26:28,955 --> 00:26:31,924 [knocking continues] 584 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,067 - JESUS. 585 00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,335 HOLSTER THAT THING, WOULD YOU? 586 00:26:43,369 --> 00:26:45,371 [scoffs] 587 00:26:45,404 --> 00:26:46,906 [door closes] 588 00:26:46,939 --> 00:26:50,042 NICE COCK, BY THE WAY. IT'S VERY MANLY. 589 00:26:50,076 --> 00:26:52,679 - THIS OLD THING? 590 00:26:52,712 --> 00:26:54,146 WHAT ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE, RUNKS? 591 00:26:54,180 --> 00:26:55,915 - NUMBER 12-- 592 00:26:55,948 --> 00:26:58,084 THE WAITRESS LAST NIGHT AT THE BAR, 593 00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:00,753 TOTALLY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. - TOTALLY. 594 00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:03,956 RIGHT ON! THE RUNK, NUMBER 12. 595 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:06,358 - THANK YOU. WE GOT NO TIME TO CELEBRATE, THOUGH. 596 00:27:06,392 --> 00:27:08,360 YOU'RE LATE FOR YOUR ARRAIGNMENT. 597 00:27:08,394 --> 00:27:11,197 - FUCK ME RUNNING. 598 00:27:13,132 --> 00:27:16,068 THANK YOU, SKEEVES. - GO GET 'EM. 599 00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,908 - HEY, LADY LAWYER. LOOK WHO'S HERE. 600 00:27:21,941 --> 00:27:24,310 - JESUS. 601 00:27:24,343 --> 00:27:26,813 - WHAT? - WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? 602 00:27:26,846 --> 00:27:28,447 - OH, THAT'S KIND OF A LIFE IMITATING ART 603 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,581 IMITATING LIFE KIND OF A DEAL. - FORGET IT. 604 00:27:29,615 --> 00:27:31,217 I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. - GOOD CALL. BEST NOT TO KNOW. 605 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:32,752 SHOULD WE DO THIS? - NO NEED. 606 00:27:32,785 --> 00:27:34,253 THEY'RE DROPPING THE ASSAULT CHARGES. 607 00:27:34,286 --> 00:27:36,689 - THANK YOU. 608 00:27:36,723 --> 00:27:38,357 THANK YOU. THANK YOU. 609 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,226 - THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. 610 00:27:40,259 --> 00:27:42,261 - YEAH? 611 00:27:42,294 --> 00:27:44,196 - HANK MOODY? - GUILTY. 612 00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,865 - DON'T SAY THAT. 613 00:27:45,898 --> 00:27:47,166 - WE HAVE A WARRANT FOR YOUR ARREST. 614 00:27:47,199 --> 00:27:49,068 - JESUS FUCK. WHAT NOW? 615 00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:51,237 - WELL, LIKE I SAID, THE D.A.'S OFFICE WAS WILLING 616 00:27:51,270 --> 00:27:53,172 TO DROP THE ASSAULT CHARGES-- THAT'S THE GOOD NEWS. 617 00:27:53,205 --> 00:27:54,140 - WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS? 618 00:27:54,173 --> 00:27:56,408 - YOU'RE BEING CHARGED WITH STATUTORY RAPE. 619 00:27:58,410 --> 00:28:00,446 - COME ON. LET'S GO. 620 00:28:00,479 --> 00:28:02,048 - WAIT, WAIT, WHOA. 621 00:28:02,081 --> 00:28:03,750 WHAT HAPPENED? 622 00:28:03,783 --> 00:28:05,084 - DEFENDING YOUR FRIEND JUST BECAME 623 00:28:05,117 --> 00:28:07,686 A HELL OF A LOT MORE INTERESTING. 624 00:28:09,789 --> 00:28:12,725 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com