1 00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:07,675 - RUNKLE! 2 00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:09,677 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 3 00:00:09,710 --> 00:00:11,379 - HEY, IS THIS RUNKLE'S HOUSE? 4 00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:12,646 - WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,781 - STU BEGGS. YOU'RE THE WIFE? 6 00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:14,782 - SOON TO BE EX. 7 00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,784 - WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH? 8 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,052 - MM-MMM. 9 00:00:18,086 --> 00:00:19,253 - I GOTTA GET IT UP TO 100. 10 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:21,322 TRIPLE DIGITS. 11 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,057 - I MET THE WIFE. - SOON TO BE EX. 12 00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,126 - SO YOU WOULDN'T MIND IF I TOOK A CRACK AT HER? 13 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,660 - SAY WHAT? 14 00:00:26,694 --> 00:00:27,795 - AND YOU ARE? 15 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,730 - I'M BEN. - KAREN. 16 00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:30,731 NICE TO MEET YOU. 17 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:31,832 - NICE TO MEET YOU TOO. 18 00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,067 - HOW'S LENNY KRAVITZ? 19 00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:34,135 - EXCUSE ME? 20 00:00:34,168 --> 00:00:35,369 - YOU KNOW, THAT CARAMEL-COLORED MAN 21 00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:36,370 YOU'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND WITH. 22 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:38,106 - UM, NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 23 00:00:38,139 --> 00:00:39,507 - ABBY HERE IS THE BEST THERE IS 24 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,342 AT DEFENDING THE UNJUSTLY ACCUSED. 25 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,443 - YOU REALLY LOVE THIS SHIT, HUH? 26 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,844 - SOMETIMES IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN SEX. 27 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,314 - YOU MUST NOT LIKE SEX VERY MUCH. 28 00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,131 - [sighs] 29 00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,698 HEY! 30 00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:07,535 - AM I REALLY THAT SCARY THE MORNING AFTER? 31 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,770 - HARDLY. YOU'RE JUST REALLY PENETRATING ME 32 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,272 WITH THOSE PRETTY BLUE EYES. 33 00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:13,107 - THEY'RE HAZEL. 34 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:15,109 - ARE THEY? 35 00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,411 IT'S EARLY AND YOU GOT A BUNCH OF CRUDDIES IN THERE. 36 00:01:17,445 --> 00:01:18,612 - THANK YOU. 37 00:01:18,646 --> 00:01:20,881 - YES, NO. OH, THAT'S RIGHT, HAZEL THEY ARE. 38 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,383 STILL PRETTY, THOUGH. 39 00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,320 - WELL, I SUPPOSE ONE GOOD PENETRATION 40 00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,588 DOES DESERVE ANOTHER. 41 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,523 - OOH, I LIKE WHERE YOU'RE GOING WITH THIS. 42 00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,225 I LOVE ME SOME MORNING SEX. 43 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:33,127 DAYLIGHT, SMELLY PITS, BAD BREATH. 44 00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,795 BRING IT. LET'S DO THIS. 45 00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:36,530 - I NEED TO RECUSE MYSELF. 46 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:38,266 - RECUSE ME? 47 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:39,800 - I'M BEING SERIOUS. 48 00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:41,335 - WELL, THE BATHROOM IS THAT-A-WAY. 49 00:01:41,369 --> 00:01:42,403 - WE HAD SEX, HANK. 50 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,571 - DON'T DO THAT. 51 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,539 DON'T--DON'T REDUCE IT. 52 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:46,374 THAT WAS NOT SEX. 53 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,809 THAT WAS NAKED POETRY. - OH, OKAY. 54 00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:51,145 - I HAVEN'T BEEN FUCKED LIKE THAT SINCE I WAS AN ALTAR BOY. 55 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,780 - REALLY? ARE YOU FINISHED? - NO, I'M NOT FINISHED. 56 00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,382 I'M JUST GETTING STARTED, COUNSELOR. 57 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:55,583 - YOU'RE NOT LISTENING. - NO, I'M NOT, 58 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,151 BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY READING YOUR BRAILLE. 59 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:58,919 - AHEM. 60 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,254 - I'M A LIP-READER, 61 00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:01,789 AND I CAN ALSO READ UPSIDE DOWN, 62 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:02,856 AND YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAYS? 63 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,692 "SHUT UP AND FUCK ME." 64 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,760 - WE HAD SEX. YOU MADE ME COME. 65 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,162 - DON'T SELL YOURSELF SHORT. 66 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,897 I INVITED YOU TO COME. 67 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:10,798 YOU DID ALL THE REST. 68 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:13,601 - AND NOW WE HAVE A SERIOUS CONFLICT. 69 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,569 - I'M NOT THE GREATEST OF LEGAL MINDS, 70 00:02:15,603 --> 00:02:18,239 BUT, LAST NIGHT, WHEN WE MADE THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS, 71 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:20,741 I DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE TECHNICALLY MY ATTORNEY. 72 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,644 - YEAH, YES, AND THAT LOGIC 73 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,680 WAS PERFECTLY, PERFECTLY SOUND LAST NIGHT. 74 00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,349 THIS MORNING, NOT SO MUCH. 75 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,551 - LAST NIGHT, THIS MORNING, WHAT'S THE DIFF, REALLY? 76 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,686 WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT ANYWAY? 77 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,322 - IT'S YOUR CHOICE, HANK. 78 00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:35,623 WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? 79 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,591 FUCK YOU OR DEFEND YOU? 80 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,926 - OH, SHIT. 81 00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:40,728 THERE'S A REALLY GOOD LAWYER JOKE IN THERE SOMEWHERE, 82 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:42,430 BUT THERE'S NOT ENOUGH BLOOD IN MY BRAIN 83 00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,398 TO FIGURE IT OUR RIGHT NOW. 84 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:45,799 - OKAY, I'M INTRODUCING YOU TO A NEW ATTORNEY. 85 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:46,834 - NO, I LIKE MY OLD ONE. 86 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,636 - AND SHE LIKES YOU TOO. 87 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,204 A LITTLE TOO MUCH MAYBE. 88 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,373 - HOW MUCH ARE WE TALKING? 89 00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:55,443 - READ MY BRAILLE. 90 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:01,649 [laughs] - WOW. 91 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,451 THAT SPEAKS VOLUMES. 92 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:16,664 - SO...WHAT'S IT GONNA BE? 93 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,766 - OH, YOU'RE RECUSED. 94 00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,769 [upbeat music] 95 00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:28,742 * 96 00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,449 - HELLO? 97 00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:09,883 HELLO! 98 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,452 GOOD MORNING. 99 00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,020 GOOD MORNING. 100 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,555 OH! - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 101 00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:15,923 - WELL, YOUR DOOR WAS AJAR. 102 00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,858 I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU HADN'T BEEN VIOLATED. 103 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:20,694 - OH. SO WHAT ARE YOU, ROBIN HOOD OF RAPISTS NOW? 104 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:21,495 - OH, GOOD ONE. 105 00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:23,531 AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO. 106 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,699 - HELLO AND GOOD-BYE! 107 00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,368 - I HAVE SOME TIME TO KILL. I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT. 108 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,602 I BROUGHT YOU SOME COFFEE. 109 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,771 HOW DO YOU TAKE IT NOW? BLACK? 110 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,640 - THANKS, BROTHER. - OH, FUCK. 111 00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:35,042 - CHEERS. 112 00:04:35,075 --> 00:04:35,909 - [sighs] 113 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:38,479 SO, WHAT, YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT NOW? 114 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:39,780 - SHUT UP. IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 115 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:40,814 - IT IS MY BUSINESS. 116 00:04:40,848 --> 00:04:42,783 THAT WAS MY VAGINA FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME. 117 00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,385 I HAVE SQUATTER'S RIGHTS ON THAT. 118 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,786 - BEN BROUGHT ME A PAINTING, 119 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,488 AND HE WAS HANGING IT UP FOR ME 120 00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:48,822 IN THE BEDROOM, OKAY? 121 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:49,923 - OH, THAT IS SMOOTH, BEN. 122 00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,825 REAL SMOOTH. WHAT WAS THE OCCASION? 123 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,860 DOING IT? 124 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,562 - BEN IS AN ARTIST, HANK. 125 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,963 - OH, FUCK, AREN'T WE ALL? 126 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:57,965 - ACTUALLY, I AM AN ARTIST BY PROFESSION. 127 00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,567 IT SAYS SO ON MY TAX RETURN. 128 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,535 - WELL, SOMETIMES IN THE BATHROOM, 129 00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,837 I WILL DRAW ON THE WALL WITH MY OWN POO. 130 00:05:03,871 --> 00:05:05,406 DOESN'T MAKE ME A FUCKING ARTIST, DOES IT? 131 00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,974 - NO. - POO-CASSO. 132 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:07,875 - IT MAKES YOU A GROWN MAN 133 00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,076 WHO LIKES TO PLAY WITH HIS EXCREMENT. 134 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,844 - EXACTLY, KAREN. EXACTLY. 135 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,780 - I DESIGN ALBUM COVERS. 136 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,648 - WOW, THAT IS BUTTFUCKING AWESOME, BEN. 137 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,116 YOU ARE VERY HARD TO HATE. 138 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,951 HEY, GUESS WHAT. 139 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,587 I DID IT LAST NIGHT TOO... 140 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,821 WITH A WOMAN. 141 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,357 - A WOMAN? A GROWN WOMAN? 142 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,626 - AN EXTREMELY HOT, TOTALLY SEXY WOMAN. 143 00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,695 CLASS UP THE WAZOO, RIGHT? - GOOD FOR YOU. 144 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:28,929 - A REAL FUCKING DAME, THAT ONE. 145 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:29,930 - GOOD FOR YOU, HANK. 146 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,732 - NO, GOOD FOR US, KAREN. 147 00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,033 'CAUSE WE'RE MOVING ON. 148 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:34,835 WE'RE SHARING OUR GENITALS WITH OTHER PEOPLE. 149 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,604 IT'S SO FUCKING MATURE, I WANT TO PUNCH MYSELF IN THE DICK. 150 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,771 - DO IT! 151 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,640 - LISTEN, NOT THAT I'M NOT ENJOYING THIS, 152 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,108 WHATEVER THIS IS, 153 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,577 BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE MAYBE I SHOULD TRY AND PUT A STOP TO IT. 154 00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:44,712 - YES, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA, 155 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:45,846 AND GOOD LUCK, 'CAUSE-- 156 00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,581 - [imitating Karen] YEAH, THAT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA, 157 00:05:47,615 --> 00:05:48,716 AND GOOD LUCK, 'CAUSE-- - I'M GONNA STAB YOU. 158 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:49,850 - FUCK YOU. 159 00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:50,851 - DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THE GIRLS? 160 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,820 - NO, SHE DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GIRLS. 161 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,987 SHE DOESN'T TELL ME ANYTHING ANYMORE. 162 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,389 - THEY'RE DOING AN UNPLUGGED GIG TONIGHT. 163 00:05:55,423 --> 00:05:56,390 YOU SHOULD COME. 164 00:05:56,424 --> 00:05:57,658 - WELL, THAT'S INTERESTING. 165 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,560 MAYBE I WILL. 166 00:05:59,593 --> 00:06:01,128 MAYBE I WON'T. 167 00:06:01,161 --> 00:06:03,731 GUESS YOU'LL JUST TO HAVE WAIT AND SEE, YOU TWO, WON'T YOU? 168 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:04,998 - I'M EXCITED. 169 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:09,970 - WE HAVE A PROPOSITION FOR YOU, RUNKLE. 170 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,105 - OKAY, LET ME JUST THROW IT OUT THERE. 171 00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,842 THIS IS NOT A THREESOME I AM INTERESTED IN AT ALL. 172 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:17,545 - WE, NEITHER, YOU FUCKING JACKASS. 173 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,047 - WELL, I'M OPEN... SEXUALLY. 174 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,882 I MEAN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. 175 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:23,751 - STU, SHUT THE FUCK UP. 176 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,487 - OKAY. SO HERE'S THE DEAL. 177 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,423 WE HAVE A PITCH MEETING TODAY AT SHOWTIME, 178 00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,759 AT FX, AND HBO TOMORROW. 179 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:34,061 BUT I THINK SHOWTIME IS THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS. 180 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,597 - NURSE JACKIE, I LIKE THAT SHIT. 181 00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,032 EDIE FALCO. RESPECT. 182 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,501 - WHAT'S THE PITCH? 183 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:43,737 - WELL... 184 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,573 YOU WERE MARRIED TO HER. 185 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,742 [laughing] 186 00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:51,445 - I DON'T GET IT. 187 00:06:51,479 --> 00:06:52,813 - SEE? HE'S NOT A VISIONARY, STU. 188 00:06:52,846 --> 00:06:54,081 I TOLD YOU. 189 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:55,583 - IT'S A DOWN AND DIRTY HALF-HOUR 190 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:58,118 ABOUT A FOUL-MOUTHED CELEBRITY WAXOLOGIST. 191 00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:01,489 PUNANI-TENDER TO THE STARS, IF YOU WILL, 192 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,624 BASED ON HERS TRULY. 193 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,126 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 194 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,462 THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. 195 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,563 - THANK YOU. - REALLY? 196 00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:12,032 WELL, HOW COME YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF IT, BRAIN TRUST? 197 00:07:12,065 --> 00:07:14,201 - OBVIOUSLY, I WAS TOO CLOSE TO IT. 198 00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,538 I WAS TOO BUSY BEING EMASCULATED BY IT. 199 00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,673 - DON'T BLAME ME BECAUSE YOU WERE BORN WITH A CLIT FOR A COCK 200 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:23,176 AND A TINY LITTLE BEANBAG TO HOUSE WHAT PASSES FOR BALLS. 201 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,178 - SEE? MAGIC. 202 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:30,651 - DON'T YOU WORRY, HANK. ABBY'S THE BEST. 203 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,886 BUT EVEN THE BEST NEED A LITTLE HELP SOMETIMES. 204 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,987 ISN'T THAT RIGHT, ABBY? 205 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,989 - ABSOLUTELY, LLOYD. YOU ARE THE MAN. 206 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,192 - I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU. 207 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:40,728 - THANK YOU, LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR. 208 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,262 I FEEL SAFE WITH YOU. 209 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,964 - WHAT ARE YOU READING RIGHT NOW? 210 00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:45,766 - WHAT AM I READING? 211 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,200 - WHAT'S ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND RIGHT NOW? 212 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,603 - THAT'S AN INTERESTING QUESTION. 213 00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:52,205 UM, BOTTLE OF HEINEKEN, 214 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:53,273 PACK OF SMOKES, 215 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,576 THE ACCOMMODATOR. [club thuds] OH. 216 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:56,610 - OH, THE ACCOMMODATOR? 217 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:57,978 IS THAT LIKE A NOVEL? 218 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,713 - NO, NO, NO. IT'S MORE LIKE A SEX TOY. 219 00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:00,914 A DILDO, ESSENTIALLY, 220 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:02,516 ONLY YOU STRAP IT TO YOUR HEAD 221 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:04,785 SO THAT THE DONG PART JUTS OUT FROM YOUR CHIN. 222 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,887 IT ENABLES YOU TO "ACCOMMODATE" YOUR LADY 223 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,557 BY PERFORMING ORAL AND PENETRATO AT THE SAME TIME. 224 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,759 YOU KNOW, LIKE... 225 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:12,893 SOMETHING LIKE THIS. 226 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:14,127 LIKE CHINOCCHIO? 227 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,729 [laughs] CHINOCCHIO. - INTERESTING. 228 00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:17,264 - I THINK IT'S VERY INTERESTING. I CAN HOOK YOU UP. 229 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,198 YOU TOO, ABBY. 230 00:08:18,231 --> 00:08:20,167 - THANK YOU, HANK. THAT'S GENEROUS OF YOU. 231 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,635 - YOU SEEM TO BE IN PRETTY GOOD SHAPE. 232 00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:23,136 WHERE DO YOU WORK OUT? YOU DO THE STEPS? 233 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,838 - THE STEPS? 234 00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:27,174 - IN SANTA MONICA. - OH. 235 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:29,009 - IT'S QUITE A SCENE. LOTS OF LOVELY LADIES. 236 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,611 YOU CAN REALLY MAKE A DAY OF IT. 237 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,781 - YEAH. YEAH. 238 00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,949 - WHAT'S UP? YOU NEED SOMETHING? 239 00:08:35,983 --> 00:08:37,284 I WAS JUST THINKING... 240 00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,053 IF I WANTED TO HANG MYSELF, 241 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,288 DO YOU THINK THIS CHANDELIER HERE 242 00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:43,624 WOULD SUPPORT MY WEIGHT THERE? 243 00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,892 - UH... 244 00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:47,628 - ABOUT 175, 180? 245 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,763 - YOU HAVE AN INTERESTING SENSE OF HUMOR, HANK. 246 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,865 - THAT'S WHAT THEY TELL ME, LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR. 247 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,301 - WELL, I LIKE TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF THESE DAYS. 248 00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:55,836 HAD A BIT OF A SCARE LAST YEAR. 249 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,004 - DID YOU? 250 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,606 - YEAH, NOTHING-- NOTHING SERIOUS. 251 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:00,073 JUST AN ANAL FISSURE. 252 00:09:00,107 --> 00:09:01,208 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS, HANK? 253 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:03,110 - [sighs] 254 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,678 - IT'S LIKE A SMALL RIP OR TEAR... 255 00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:06,079 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I KNOW, I KNOW. 256 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,881 - IN THE SKIN OF THE ANAL CANAL. 257 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:10,751 WELL, HURT LIKE A SON OF A BITCH. 258 00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:11,719 ONLY THING THAT GOT ME THROUGH 259 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:13,353 WAS THE THOUGHT OF GETTING BACK TO THE GAME. 260 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,354 [golf ball rattles in box] YOU PLAY, HANK? 261 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,725 - NO! I'M MORE OF A MINIATURE GOLFER MYSELF. 262 00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,660 - WE SHOULD PLAY, THE THREE OF US. 263 00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,929 TODAY. YOU GUYS CAN GET ME UP TO SPEED. 264 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,631 I'LL GO AND CHECK WITH LINDSAY, 265 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:24,898 SEE IF SHE CAN CLEAR MY SCHEDULE. 266 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,735 - GREAT. - OH, THIS IS NOT GOOD. 267 00:09:27,768 --> 00:09:29,637 - [chuckling] 268 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,038 YOU MADE YOUR BED, 269 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:32,840 AND THEN YOU FUCKED ME IN IT. 270 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,775 - MM-HMM-HMM. I THINK I NEED TO RECUSE MYSELF. 271 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:36,877 - IT'S IMPOSSIBLE. HE'S MY BOSS. 272 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:38,378 I MEAN, I CAN'T JUST GO TO HIM AND SAY, 273 00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:39,747 "UH, HEY, LLOYD, SORRY. 274 00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:40,948 HANK THINKS YOU'RE A BIG BORE." 275 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:42,282 - BUT HE IS A BIG FUCKING BORE. 276 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,516 - BUT MAYBE THAT'S A GOOD THING. 277 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,719 MAYBE THAT WILL PREVENT YOU FROM STICKING YOUR DICK IN HIM. 278 00:09:45,753 --> 00:09:47,120 - I WOULD NEVER STICK MY DICK IN HIM. 279 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,289 IT WOULD FALL OFF FROM COMPLETE AND UTTER BOREDOM. 280 00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:51,191 - GET DIR--GET DIRECTIONS FROM PATTI. 281 00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:54,862 I'LL SEE YOU OUT ON THE LINKS. 282 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,200 [golf ball thuds] - OOH! 283 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:06,006 - DID HE TELL YOU ABOUT HIS ANAL FISSURE? 284 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:07,040 - YES. YES, HE DID. 285 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,408 HE'S THE FISSURE KING. 286 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,844 - I'M SORRY. HE'S THE WORST. 287 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,080 - I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU STAND IT HERE, PATTI. 288 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,715 - ME, NEITHER. ALL THE GUYS AROUND HERE ARE LIKE THAT. 289 00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:17,685 SOMETIMES I THINK I'M NEVER GONNA FIND A MAN. 290 00:10:17,718 --> 00:10:20,087 - WHAT KIND OF FELLA YOU LOOKING FOR? 291 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,990 - HONESTLY? I JUST NEED TO GET LAID. 292 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,025 - I HEAR THAT. 293 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,426 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK CAN HELP OUT. 294 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,295 I GOT A GUY FOR YOU. HE'S A SURE THING. 295 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,731 TOTAL CHROME DOME, BUT HE FUCKS LIKE A CHAMP. 296 00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,299 LOVES TO EAT THE PUSSY TOO. 297 00:10:34,702 --> 00:10:36,003 - I'M LISTENING. 298 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,242 - HOO. 299 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,047 - YOU A LITTLE NERVOUS THERE, HUH? 300 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,316 YOU NEVER HAVE BEEN ONE FOR SALES, HAVE YOU? 301 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,684 - NO. 302 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,786 FUCK YOU. STOP TRYING TO PSYCH ME OUT. 303 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:53,921 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M THE NERVOUS ONE. 304 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,789 I GOT THE FUCKING RUNS. 305 00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:58,125 I THINK I HAVE A LITTLE IBS. 306 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,760 - A LITTLE TMI. 307 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:00,861 - I'M SORRY, MY DEAR. 308 00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,095 NOT TO WORRY. 309 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,463 IT ALWAYS HAPPENS BEFORE A PITCH. 310 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,866 IT'S A RITUAL CLEANSING. 311 00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:10,370 [groaning] 312 00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,341 - SO... 313 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,408 - BE QUIET. 314 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:16,476 - WHAT? WHAT? NO. 315 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:19,412 I WAS JUST--I WAS GOING TO ASK ABOUT YOU AND STU. 316 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:21,448 STU AND YOU. 317 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:23,150 MAR-STU, HA! 318 00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,384 THAT'S WHAT THE RAGS WOULD BE CALLING IT. 319 00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:26,253 MAR-STU. 320 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:28,989 SO, HOW'S IT GOING? 321 00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,223 - WHATEVER. 322 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:31,391 HE'S NICE. 323 00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,460 - NICE. 324 00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,928 DO YOU LIKE HIM? 325 00:11:34,962 --> 00:11:37,197 - YES, I LIKE HIM, CHARLIE, OKAY? 326 00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:39,800 IT'S NICE TO BE WITH A FUCKING GROWN-UP FOR ONCE. 327 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,869 - I USED TO BE A GROWN-UP... 328 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,303 ONCE. 329 00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,005 I JUST... 330 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:46,206 REGRESSED A LITTLE. 331 00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:47,374 - A LITTLE? 332 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,277 YOU'RE LIKE A BALD BENJAMIN BUTTON, AGING IN REVERSE. 333 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:52,445 YOU'RE GOING TO DIE A BIG, PINK, QUIVERING JELL-O BABY. 334 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:53,446 COME ON. 335 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:56,784 - WHATEVER'S GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU, 336 00:11:56,817 --> 00:12:00,520 I HOPE YOU FIND ALL THE HAPPINESS YOU DESERVE. 337 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,022 I MEAN THAT. 338 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:05,625 - THANKS, CHARLIE. 339 00:12:09,496 --> 00:12:11,799 - AND YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT IN THERE. 340 00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:17,304 - OKAY. THAT IS BETTER. 341 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,073 GOT ALL THE POISON OUT. 342 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,241 SO, WE READY TO DO THIS? 343 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,944 - MM. - OKAY, LET'S HUDDLE UP. 344 00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,178 COME ON. 345 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,914 - YES. - THERE WE GO, THERE WE GO. 346 00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:31,518 [overlapping chatter] 347 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,037 [muttering] 348 00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:56,443 OKAY. 349 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,982 MOTHERFUCKER. 350 00:13:04,584 --> 00:13:06,586 - I'M SORRY, SIR. COLLARED SHIRTS ONLY. 351 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,488 AND NO DENIM. 352 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:09,589 - WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF FASCIST? 353 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,924 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT AGAINST DENIM? 354 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,025 IT'S THE PEOPLE'S FABRIC. 355 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:14,895 - I CAN SHOW YOU TO THE PRO SHOP IF YOU'D LIKE, SIR. 356 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:16,964 - RUN. SAVE YOURSELF. 357 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:22,836 - [laughing] 358 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,137 OH, MY GOD. 359 00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,273 THIS IS JUST TOO DELICIOUS. 360 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,975 - I HATE MYSELF, AND I WANT TO DIE. 361 00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,943 - WE ARE GOING TO HAVE MUCH FUN OUT THERE. 362 00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,344 - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. - THINK ABOUT IT. 363 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,046 WE CAN HAVE GUILT-FREE SEX NOW. 364 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,082 - I WASN'T GUILTY. - WELL, I WAS. 365 00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:37,985 - WELL, SOMETIMES GUILT CAN MAKE THE SEX BETTER, YOU KNOW? 366 00:13:38,018 --> 00:13:39,486 - SOMETIMES IT CAN. 367 00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,121 - OH! 368 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,622 DRESSING ROOM QUICKIE? 369 00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,291 I'LL LET YOU PLAY WITH MY PUTTER. COME ON. 370 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,127 - AHEM. - LOOKING GOOD, HANK. 371 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,196 YOU GUYS READY TO GO TO CHURCH? 372 00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:50,931 - HMM. 373 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,400 - ROBERTA, WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME 374 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,904 IF I TOLD YOU WE HAVE YOUR NEXT WEEDS? 375 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,271 - GREAT. 376 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,040 TELL US. 377 00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,642 - THE NAME OF THE SHOW IS HOT LIPS. 378 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,611 YEAH. 379 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,513 IT'S CENTERS AROUND THE SEXPLOITS 380 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:09,116 OF AN ESTHETICIAN OF THE STARS. 381 00:14:09,149 --> 00:14:11,651 WHAT IS IT LIKE TO STARE INTO THE BUSINESS END 382 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,221 OF SANDY BULLOCK'S VAGINA? 383 00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:16,990 THIS WOMAN KNOWS. 384 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:19,359 WHAT'S IT LIKE TO TAKE OFF THE HAIR 385 00:14:19,392 --> 00:14:22,229 FROM ROBIN WILLIAMS' MAMMOTH BALLSACK? 386 00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:25,332 THIS WOMAN IS FAMILIAR WITH EVERY VEIN. 387 00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:27,067 - I DON'T-- [clears throat] 388 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:30,470 I DON'T DO BALLS, SO... 389 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,474 - WELL, THAT'S GOOD NEWS. 390 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:38,045 BUT ANYWAY, UH... 391 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:39,913 [laughs] 392 00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,181 BUT...UNH! [stomach gurgling] 393 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:43,951 OH! AHEM. 394 00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,087 MARCY HAS STORIES AND STORIES AND STORIES 395 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,321 THAT GO FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS, 396 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:51,258 SO I'M GONNA HAND IT OFF TO HER, [gas groans] 397 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,227 AND IF YOU WILL KINDLY EXCUSE ME, 398 00:14:54,261 --> 00:14:56,229 I'M HAVING A LITTLE TUMMY TROUBLE. 399 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,897 [groans] 400 00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:05,038 - UM, YEAH. 401 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,573 I, UH-- 402 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,708 I GOT SOME STORIES, KIDS. 403 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,111 I'VE, UH, SEEN SOME SHIT. 404 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,146 I'VE SEEN... 405 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:19,652 I'VE GOT STORIES... DAMN. 406 00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:22,455 I GOT STORIES THAT'LL STRAIGHTEN YOUR PUBES. 407 00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:28,361 - MAYBE YOU COULD TELL US ONE. 408 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:31,999 - YEAH, OF COURSE. I, UM... 409 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:36,336 SHIT, UH, LET ME THINK. 410 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,105 UH, UH, 411 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:41,708 'CAUSE I'M TOTALLY FUCKING DRAWING A BLANK HERE. 412 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,410 UM... 413 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:44,677 - SO... [clears throat] 414 00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:48,415 MARCY GETS A CALL FROM A VERY FAMOUS ACTRESS. 415 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,383 I'M NOT GONNA NAME ANY NAMES HERE. 416 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,052 NICOLE. 417 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,453 IT'S AN EMERGENCY. 418 00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:55,155 SHE'S SHOOTING AT UNIVERSAL. 419 00:15:55,188 --> 00:15:58,391 HER LEADING MAN HAS BEEN FLIRTING WITH HER ALL DAY LONG. 420 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,626 SEAN. 421 00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,494 HE WANTS TO SEE HER IN HIS TRAILER 422 00:16:01,528 --> 00:16:04,431 TO TALK ABOUT THE SCRIPT, HAITI, WHATEVER. 423 00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:06,733 CLEARLY IT IS ON. 424 00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:09,269 BUT NICOLE IS SPORTING 425 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,638 KIND OF A WINTER BUSH SITUATION DOWN SOUTH, 426 00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,340 IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 427 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:16,709 WHAT IS A HAIRY-SCARY "A"-LISTER TO DO? 428 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,778 SHE CALLS THE MARSTER OVER HERE. 429 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,248 AND WHAT DOES MARCY DO? 430 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:24,317 SHE ACCIDENTALLY TEARS OFF A PIECE OF NICOLE'S LABIA. 431 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,454 MAJORA, NOT MINORA. BUT THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE. 432 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,589 THE MOVIE SHUTS DOWN. 433 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,324 - YEAH, FUNNY-- 434 00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:33,126 FUNNY SCENE, BUT WHAT'S THE SHOW? 435 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,228 - THAT IS A VERY GOOD QUESTION, ROBERTA. 436 00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:39,299 TO ME, IT'S ABOUT THE CRAZY SHIT THAT WOMEN DO TO THEMSELVES 437 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,700 IN THE NAME OF MEN. 438 00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:45,238 IT'S ABOUT A SMART, SUCCESSFUL, MODERN WOMAN, 439 00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,207 LOOKING FOR LOVE IN A CITY 440 00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:49,376 THAT DOES NOT PLACE A WHOLE LOT OF VALUE ON IT. 441 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,478 - AND IT'S ABOUT PUSSY. 442 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,346 IT'S ABOUT GETTING SOME, 443 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,049 GIVING IT AWAY, AND KEEPING IT CLEAN. 444 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,551 [laughter] 445 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,190 - YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE HISTORY OF THE GAME, HANK? 446 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,691 - PRECIOUS LITTLE, LLOYD. 447 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,393 - WELL, IT'S NOT ALTOGETHER CLEAR, 448 00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,627 IT'S UP FOR DEBATE, 449 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,530 BUT SOME HISTORIANS CLAIM IT DATES BACK 450 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,699 TO THE ROMAN GAME OF PAGANICA, 451 00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:14,767 WHERE, UH, PARTICIPANTS USED A BENT STICK 452 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,269 TO HIT A STUFFED LEATHER BALL. 453 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:18,605 - IS THAT RIGHT? THAT IS FASCINATING. 454 00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,107 HOW DO YOU WORK FOR THIS FUCKING DRONE? 455 00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,109 - HE'S MY BOSS. 456 00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,244 HAVE YOU LOVED EVERY BOSS YOU'VE EVER HAD? 457 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:25,512 - I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER REALLY HAD A BOSS. 458 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,114 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 459 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,448 - TO HAVE A BOSS, YOU KIND OF NEED TO HAVE A JOB, 460 00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,782 AND I'VE NEVER HAD ONE-- A JOB. 461 00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,651 - I'M ACTUALLY HAVING SEX 462 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,553 WITH SOMEONE WHO'S NEVER BEEN GAINFULLY EMPLOYED? 463 00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,122 - I KNOW. IT'S WEIRD, RIGHT? 464 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:37,190 [cell phone ringing] WHAT? 465 00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,159 [ringing] 466 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,527 WHO CALLIN' MY PHONE? 467 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,594 - SILENCE! 468 00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:42,662 - I'LL CALL YOU BACK. 469 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,497 [beeps] GO AHEAD, LLOYD. 470 00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,403 - BEAUTIFUL, LLOYD. 471 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:52,405 - YOU'RE UP, ABBY. - YES. AHEM. 472 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:57,144 - OHH. 473 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,716 HOLD ON A SECOND THERE, ABBY. 474 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:04,717 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 475 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,192 JUST KEEP THIS ARM STRAIGHT. - MM-HMM. 476 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,526 - AND USE YOUR HIPS. 477 00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:14,761 - OKAY. - OKAY. 478 00:18:14,794 --> 00:18:16,296 - THANK YOU, LLOYD. [clears throat] 479 00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,698 - YOU DOG, YOU. 480 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,534 - GOOD SHOT, ABBY. 481 00:18:21,568 --> 00:18:23,370 - I'M UP. 482 00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:24,571 DOOT-DOOT. 483 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,708 [groans] 484 00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,478 WHOA, OH. [farts] 485 00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,446 SORRY. 486 00:18:39,352 --> 00:18:40,287 OH! 487 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,622 OKAY, I GET A HOOLIHAN ON THAT ONE, RIGHT? 488 00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:44,157 - THAT'S A MULLIGAN. 489 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,326 - RIGHT, WHATEVER. I GOT THAT. 490 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,860 - HANG ON A SECOND, HANK. LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 491 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,432 KEEP YOUR LEFT ARM STRAIGHT, COME ON. 492 00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:53,666 - [laughs] 493 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,336 - YOU'RE GONNA NEED A LITTLE ASTROGLIDE BACK THERE, LLOYD. 494 00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,538 I'M NOT THAT EASY. - AND USE YOUR HIPS NOW. 495 00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,843 - YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE. 496 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:09,849 OH! FUCK ME. 497 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,686 RUN, YOU CUNT! 498 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,655 - NO, NO, NO. 499 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:16,656 - GET THERE, GET THERE. 500 00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:17,957 - HANK, THAT'S NOT FUNNY. 501 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:19,592 A LITTLE RESPECT FOR THE GAME, PLEASE. 502 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,694 NOW, WE'RE NOT GOING TO GO ANYWHERE 503 00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,763 UNTIL YOU DRIVE THAT BALL. 504 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:37,810 - OH! PULLED IT. 505 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,546 WHEE. 506 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,713 - AHEM. 507 00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,221 - GREAT FUCKING MEETING, 508 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:49,722 AND THEY BOUGHT IT IN THE ROOM, 509 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,958 JUST LIKE I SAID THEY WOULD. 510 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,526 I AM SO EXCITED, MARCY. 511 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,828 I KNEW YOU HAD A PROJECT IN YOU 512 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,264 JUST WAITING TO GET OUT. 513 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:58,965 RUNKLE, HOW COME YOU NEVER SAW THIS? 514 00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,667 I DON'T KNOW, STU. 515 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,869 I GUESS I JUST MISSED IT. 516 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:05,472 GUESS I MISSED A LOT OF THINGS. 517 00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,407 - HEY, YOU WANT COME BACK TO MY PLACE, 518 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,908 CELEBRATE FURTHER? 519 00:20:08,941 --> 00:20:11,711 - SURE. GO GET THE CAR. 520 00:20:11,744 --> 00:20:13,713 - SORRY I CAN'T INVITE YOU, CHARLIE, 521 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:14,947 BUT THAT WOULD BE WEIRD. 522 00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:16,849 - I AGREE, STU. 523 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:19,252 ANYWAY, LIKE I SAID, I'M NOT INTERESTED 524 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,820 IN NUDING UP WITH YOU GUYS. 525 00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:23,556 BESIDES, HANK HAS FIXED ME UP ON A BLIND DATE. 526 00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:25,425 SHE SHOULD BE HERE ANY MINUTE. 527 00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:28,795 APPARENTLY, SHE'S DTF. 528 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,730 - LOVE TO HEAR THAT. 529 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:32,699 PEACE, BRO. 530 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,268 [Stu laughing] 531 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,705 - YOU REALLY SAVED MY ASS, RUNKLE. 532 00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:40,407 - I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT. 533 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,810 I JUST GAVE YOU A LITTLE PUSH, THAT'S ALL. 534 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:45,378 YOU DID THE REST. 535 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:50,883 - OKAY. [clears throat] 536 00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,020 WELL, HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 537 00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,688 - YOU TOO, MARCE. 538 00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:14,474 - AH, YOU MUST BE CHARLIE. 539 00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,009 - AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? 540 00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,379 - HANK TOLD ME YOU WERE BALD. 541 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:21,581 - HA! RIGHT. 542 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:22,782 OF COURSE, HE DID. 543 00:21:22,815 --> 00:21:26,353 - HE ALSO SAID YOU FUCK LIKE A CHAMP. 544 00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:27,454 NICE TO MEET YOU. 545 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:29,722 I'M NUMBER 21. 546 00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,564 - HEY, YOU THINK I CAN RETURN THESE CLUBS 547 00:21:37,597 --> 00:21:41,534 TO THE PRO SHOP WHEN I'M DONE TODAY? 548 00:21:41,568 --> 00:21:43,936 JESUS, WOW. MEAN FACE GUY. 549 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,109 [shorts unzip] 550 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,979 [urinating] 551 00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:56,983 [whistling] 552 00:21:57,016 --> 00:21:59,686 - [groans] 553 00:21:59,719 --> 00:22:01,588 - UH-OH. 554 00:22:01,621 --> 00:22:03,856 HEY, COME ON. - COME HERE! 555 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:06,693 - HANK, LLOYD! - I WAS RAKING! 556 00:22:06,726 --> 00:22:07,694 I WAS CLEANING UP. 557 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:09,562 - STOP THIS! - COME HERE! 558 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:12,865 - YOU'RE ACTING LIKE CHILDREN. - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 559 00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:14,834 - COME HERE! - OOH! 560 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:16,869 - [growls] - WHOA! 561 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:18,438 - OH, MY GOD! 562 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,707 - SHUT UP! SHUT THE FUCK UP! 563 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:22,675 HOW DARE YOUR DISRESPECT THE GOLF COURSE! 564 00:22:22,709 --> 00:22:24,110 - LLOYD! - SHUT THE FUCK UP! 565 00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:27,013 - LLOYD ALAN PHILLIPS, JR.! - [grunts] 566 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:30,650 HANK, I'M SORRY. - GENTLEMEN, PLEASE. 567 00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:32,585 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAME OVER ME. I'M SORRY. 568 00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:34,621 - I DO THAT SOMETIMES. I MAKE PEOPLE ANGRY. 569 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:35,988 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO NOW? 570 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,624 - WHAT? 571 00:22:37,657 --> 00:22:39,726 - YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME BACK TO ABBY. 572 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:42,929 YEAH, BECAUSE THIS RIGHT HERE? 573 00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,664 THIS IS NOT A LOVE CONNECTION. 574 00:22:44,697 --> 00:22:46,499 - OH. MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT. 575 00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:48,034 - BUT THAT SEXY LITTLE LEGAL BEAGLE-- 576 00:22:48,067 --> 00:22:50,136 THAT IS JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED FOR ME. 577 00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:51,237 - YEAH, BUT MY WORD IS MY BOND, 578 00:22:51,270 --> 00:22:53,606 AND I TOLD ABBY THAT I WOULD TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. 579 00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:55,808 - BELIEVE IT OR NOT, SHE WAS TAKING GREAT CARE OF ME. 580 00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,143 IN FACT, I HAVE NEVER FELT 581 00:22:57,176 --> 00:22:58,945 SO WELL TAKEN CARE OF BY AN ATTORNEY. 582 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:01,047 IT WAS ALMOST EROTIC. - IT'S OKAY. 583 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,517 I WAS FEELING A LITTLE STRESSED, A LITTLE OVERWORKED, 584 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,453 BUT I LEARNED FROM THE BEST. 585 00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:07,987 - YEAH, YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL, LLOYD. 586 00:23:08,020 --> 00:23:09,856 YOU DON'T WANT TO GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE ANAL FISSURES. 587 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,724 - OH, I MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT. 588 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:13,593 THAT WAS AN AWFUL TIME. A TERRIBLE TIME. 589 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:15,795 LIKE HAVING TWO ANUSES. 590 00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:17,464 - DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE? 591 00:23:17,497 --> 00:23:19,599 - WELL, I DO. - REALLY? 592 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:21,000 - THE DOCTOR SAID I WAS SO SPECIAL, 593 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:22,602 I'M IN ALL THE BOOKS. 594 00:23:22,635 --> 00:23:23,736 - RIGHT ON. 595 00:23:26,639 --> 00:23:27,740 NO, THAT'S YOUR KID. 596 00:23:27,774 --> 00:23:29,476 OH, THERE IT IS. RIGHT THE FUCK ON. 597 00:23:29,509 --> 00:23:30,543 - YEAH. 598 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,012 - LOOKS LIKE A MAP OF THE WESTERN UNITED STATES. 599 00:23:33,045 --> 00:23:34,113 [both laughing] 600 00:23:38,518 --> 00:23:39,852 - OHH. 601 00:23:39,886 --> 00:23:41,754 FINE, I'LL BE YOUR ATTORNEY AGAIN. 602 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:43,022 - REALLY? YOU WILL? 603 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,224 THIS IS GOOD NEWS. 604 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:47,126 - YES. UNLESS I GET YOU OFF, 605 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,995 YOU'LL BE OF NO USE TO ANYONE, 606 00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:50,997 ME, MOST IMPORTANTLY. 607 00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:54,200 - WELL, THEN I THINK YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET ME OFF THEN. 608 00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:55,535 - NOPE. 609 00:23:55,568 --> 00:23:57,003 NO MORE SEX. - WHAT? 610 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:59,105 NO MORE SEXYTIME? 611 00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:04,176 - I MEAN, IF I'M GOING TO SEE THIS THROUGH TO THE END, 612 00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:06,045 WE CAN'T HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. 613 00:24:06,078 --> 00:24:08,615 - BUT WE DO HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP. 614 00:24:08,648 --> 00:24:10,950 - NOT ANYMORE, WE DON'T. 615 00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:12,018 - BUT... 616 00:24:12,051 --> 00:24:13,820 - BUT WHAT? - YOU GOT YOURS. 617 00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:15,488 - I KNOW. 618 00:24:15,522 --> 00:24:16,756 IT WAS GOOD TOO. 619 00:24:16,789 --> 00:24:19,058 I'M SORRY, PAL. 620 00:24:19,091 --> 00:24:20,760 - FINE. BE THAT WAY. 621 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,596 - OH! YOU CAN GIVE IT UP THAT EASILY? 622 00:24:23,630 --> 00:24:24,897 I'M ACTUALLY INSULTED. 623 00:24:24,931 --> 00:24:26,733 - NO, NO, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY, TRUST ME. 624 00:24:26,766 --> 00:24:28,000 I GOT A WHOLE MOVIE PLAYING IN MY HEAD, 625 00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:29,268 AND IT'S PRETTY FUCKING AROUSING. 626 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:31,003 - MMM. 627 00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:32,038 I KNOW THAT MOVIE. 628 00:24:32,071 --> 00:24:33,139 - YEAH? 629 00:24:33,172 --> 00:24:35,274 - I LOVE THAT MOVIE. - STARRING YOU. 630 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,877 - I GUESS IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO KEEP US GOING, HUH? 631 00:24:37,910 --> 00:24:38,911 - I GUESS SO. 632 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:39,979 - IT'LL BE INTERESTING. 633 00:24:40,012 --> 00:24:42,081 - WHAT'LL BE INTERESTING? 634 00:24:42,114 --> 00:24:44,851 - WELL, THERE WILL COME A DAY 635 00:24:44,884 --> 00:24:47,654 WHEN ALL THIS HORRID LEGAL STRIFE IS BEHIND US. 636 00:24:47,687 --> 00:24:49,556 - OH, LORD, I FUCKING HOPE SO. 637 00:24:49,589 --> 00:24:53,793 - AND IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO, UH, 638 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:56,929 SEE WHAT YOU WANT THEN. 639 00:24:56,963 --> 00:24:58,598 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 640 00:24:58,631 --> 00:25:02,234 - YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. 641 00:25:41,173 --> 00:25:43,610 - HEY, BEN. 642 00:25:43,643 --> 00:25:45,612 - HOW ARE YOU, HANK? 643 00:25:45,645 --> 00:25:47,313 - HOW ARE YOU THIS EVENING? 644 00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:52,151 - YOU KNOW, WE NEVER REALLY GOT OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT, DID WE? 645 00:25:52,184 --> 00:25:54,020 - NO, WE DIDN'T. 646 00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:55,755 THAT'S PROBABLY MY FAULT. 647 00:25:55,788 --> 00:25:57,624 - IT'S DEFINITELY YOUR FAULT. 648 00:25:57,657 --> 00:25:58,791 - MM. 649 00:26:02,361 --> 00:26:04,263 - YOUR KID IS TALENTED. 650 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:06,198 - SO'S YOURS. 651 00:26:07,767 --> 00:26:10,136 WELL, WE GOT THAT IN COMMON, RIGHT? 652 00:26:10,169 --> 00:26:11,370 - YEAH. 653 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:14,240 AND WE SEEM TO HAVE THE SAME TASTE IN WOMEN. 654 00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:17,143 - YOU KNOW, HANK, I GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YOU. 655 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,178 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS. 656 00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:22,782 NOT THAT I DON'T WANT IT TO BE WHAT YOU THINK IT IS, 657 00:26:22,815 --> 00:26:24,917 IT'S JUST SHE'S NOT... 658 00:26:24,951 --> 00:26:26,385 SHE'S JUST NOT THERE YET. 659 00:26:26,418 --> 00:26:30,056 - OKAY, THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW. 660 00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:32,258 - THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GONNA STOP TRYING. 661 00:26:32,291 --> 00:26:33,860 - I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO. 662 00:26:33,893 --> 00:26:35,995 IF YOU DID, YOU WOULDN'T DESERVE HER. 663 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:37,630 [acoustic guitars playing] 664 00:26:37,664 --> 00:26:39,899 - SHE SURE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL ALL RIGHT. 665 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,034 - AMEN. 666 00:26:42,068 --> 00:26:48,307 * 667 00:26:48,340 --> 00:26:50,142 - * WOKE UP TO THE SOUND 668 00:26:50,176 --> 00:26:53,913 * OF POURING RAIN 669 00:26:53,946 --> 00:26:59,686 * THE WIND WOULD WHISPER AND I'D THINK OF YOU * 670 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,154 * AND ALL THE TEARS YOU'VE CRIED * 671 00:27:02,188 --> 00:27:06,092 * HAVE CALLED MY NAME 672 00:27:06,125 --> 00:27:08,294 * AND WHEN YOU NEEDED ME 673 00:27:08,327 --> 00:27:11,964 * I CAME THROUGH 674 00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:17,770 * PAINT A PICTURE OF THE DAYS GONE BY * 675 00:27:17,804 --> 00:27:19,138 * WITH LOVE I'M BLIND 676 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:23,275 * AND YOU CAN MAKE ME SEE * 677 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:29,782 * I'D STARE A LIFETIME INTO YOUR EYES * 678 00:27:29,816 --> 00:27:35,387 * SO THAT I KNEW THAT YOU WERE THERE FOR ME * 679 00:27:35,421 --> 00:27:41,393 * TIME AFTER TIME, YOU WERE THERE FOR ME * 680 00:27:41,427 --> 00:27:44,831 * REMEMBER YESTERDAY 681 00:27:44,864 --> 00:27:47,299 * WALKING HAND IN HAND 682 00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:49,936 * LOVE LETTERS IN THE SAND * 683 00:27:49,969 --> 00:27:53,439 * I REMEMBER YOU 684 00:27:53,472 --> 00:27:56,242 * ALL THE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS 685 00:27:56,275 --> 00:27:59,245 * AND EVERY ENDLESS DAY 686 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:01,948 * I WANT TO HEAR YOU SAY 687 00:28:01,981 --> 00:28:06,886 * I REMEMBER YOU 688 00:28:06,919 --> 00:28:09,455 * YEAH 689 00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:11,457 * OH OH OH 690 00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:14,426 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com