1 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:08,342 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:08,376 --> 00:00:09,310 [guitar riffs] 3 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,645 - WE COULD ACTUALLY USE A LEAD GUITARIST. 4 00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,814 - WHAT DO YOU CALL YOURSELVES? - QUEENS OF DOGTOWN. 5 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,617 - SHIT. FUCK. THE RABBIT DONE DIED. 6 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,419 - SO WHOSE IS IT? - I DON'T KNOW! 7 00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,254 - CHARLIE'S? - FUCK, NO! 8 00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,123 THAT KID'S ALL SNIPPED TO SHREDS. 9 00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:23,791 - I'VE HAD A COUPLE OF VASECTOMIES. 10 00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,627 - WHAT EXACTLY ARE YOU SAYING HERE, DOC? 11 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,696 THERE STILL COULD BE SWIMMERS IN HIS JUNK? 12 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,232 - HOW 'BOUT YOU REWRITE THE SCRIPT THAT I LOATHE? 13 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,533 - WITH SASHA'S INTEREST, 14 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,236 WE COULD BE AT SUNDANCE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR. 15 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:36,237 - I'M TRYING TO MAKE THE CHARACTER 16 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,371 A LITTLE MORE LIKEABLE, 17 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:38,572 'CAUSE ON THE PAGE, HE'S AN ASSHOLE. 18 00:00:38,606 --> 00:00:41,109 - YOU UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE KIND OF TALKING ABOUT ME. 19 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:42,776 - WANNA KNOW HOW MANY WOMEN I'VE SLEPT WITH? 20 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,245 - MM-MM. NO. NO, NO, NO. 21 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:46,280 - I GOTTA GET IT UP TO 100. 22 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:49,250 - I'M MAKIN' MY MOVE. 23 00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:50,518 - I'M DROPPING OUT. 24 00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,221 - OKAY, SO...NO MOVIE. 25 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,822 WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS? - THE GOOD NEWS 26 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,657 IS THAT I STILL WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU. 27 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:59,227 AT LEAST ONCE MORE. 28 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,429 - YOU KNOW, THAT IS PRETTY GOOD NEWS. 29 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:08,836 - AI-YOW! 30 00:01:08,869 --> 00:01:12,673 WAAH! HA HA HA! 31 00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,543 ZAH! 32 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:20,548 - ALL RIGHT. YOU GOTTA STOP THAT. 33 00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,184 I'M SERIOUS, I FEEL A HATE CRIME COMING ON. 34 00:01:23,217 --> 00:01:24,318 - NO, NO, NO. 35 00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:25,786 DON'T BE HATIN' ON THE GOOD NEWS DANCE. 36 00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,655 - DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS? 37 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,657 THEY FINALLY CAME OUT WITH SPANX FOR MEN? 38 00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:31,859 - NO, SILLY. THAT WAS MONTHS AGO. 39 00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:34,128 I'M WEARING ONE RIGHT NOW, AS A MATTER OF FACT. 40 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:36,330 YEAH, YEAH, FIRMS MY CHEST. FLATTENS MY TUMMY. 41 00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:39,300 HERE, HERE, FEEL. YOU CAN DO IT, COME ON. 42 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,734 - OOH. ROCK HARD. 43 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,270 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 44 00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:44,438 - I'M TALKING ABOUT MYSELF. I'M ROCK HARD RIGHT NOW. 45 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:47,275 - SO AM I! GET A LOAD OF THIS. 46 00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:49,343 SASHA IS BACK ON BOARD. 47 00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:51,345 - SHA-FA-THA! WHY? WHAT? 48 00:01:51,379 --> 00:01:52,313 WHY? 49 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:53,647 - EDDIE NERO'S ON BOARD. 50 00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,316 - OH. WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE. 51 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,785 IN A CRASS, SLEAZY, OPPORTUNISTIC KIND OF A WAY. 52 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,153 SURE. 53 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:00,621 - SASHA BINGHAM IS ALSO STARRING 54 00:02:00,654 --> 00:02:02,890 IN SLOWLY WE ROT DEUX. 55 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:05,359 - YEAH. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME. 56 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:06,894 - IT'S A ZOMBIE-COP-ACTION-THRILLER. 57 00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:09,330 FIRST ONE DID 274 DOMESTIC. 58 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,798 - RIGHT ON. SOUNDS LIKE A SHIT SANDWICH, 59 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,766 BUT, HEY, THE GIRL'S GOTTA EAT, RIGHT? 60 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,867 GOOD FOR HER. 61 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,536 - NO, NO, GOOD FOR YOU! 62 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,671 BECAUSE SASHA BINGHAM WANTS HER ONE HANK MOODY 63 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,807 ON SET TO POLISH HER DIALOGUE. 64 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,742 - WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT ONE HANK MOODY 65 00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:23,377 HAS ANY INTEREST IN DOING SUCH A THING? 66 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:25,813 - THEY GOT 100 GRAND TO SPEND 67 00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:28,182 FOR ONE WEEK'S WORK. 68 00:02:28,216 --> 00:02:29,483 - A HUNDY LARGE? 69 00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:31,685 THAT IS A MOST EXCELLENT NUMBER OF QUATLOOS! 70 00:02:31,719 --> 00:02:32,886 SOLD! 71 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,722 - GOOD! 'CAUSE I ALREADY SAID YOU'D DO IT! 72 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:35,823 HA HA HA! 73 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,525 - TURN THAT OVER. - OH, YEAH. 74 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:38,659 - GIMME THAT. 75 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,194 - SEE, IT'S THE GOOD NEWS DANCE. 76 00:02:40,228 --> 00:02:43,197 [upbeat music] 77 00:02:43,231 --> 00:02:49,169 * 78 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,413 - LET ME GUESS. 79 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,814 - SHE'S ASKING FOR YOU. 80 00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:35,416 - TELL HER TO FUCK OFF. I'M SMOKING. 81 00:03:35,449 --> 00:03:36,984 - YOU WANT ME TO TELL HER THAT? 82 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,553 - I'M COMIN'. 83 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,922 THE THINGS WE DO FOR QUATLOOS, HUH? 84 00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,957 YOU DON'T-- YOU DON'T GET PAID. 85 00:03:43,991 --> 00:03:45,526 - FIRST TEAM IS READY. 86 00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:46,527 - ACTION! 87 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:51,432 [extras moaning] 88 00:03:51,465 --> 00:03:53,701 - DIE! DIE, MOTHERFUCKER, DIE! 89 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,703 [gunfire] 90 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,837 - AND CUT. 91 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,939 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO AGAIN RIGHT AWAY. 92 00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,308 RESET. 93 00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,642 - REALLY? DON'T YOU HAVE IT ALREADY? 94 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:02,610 - IF I HAD IT ALREADY, 95 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,612 YOU'D BE SECOND-GUESSING ME FROM DOWN HERE 96 00:04:04,645 --> 00:04:06,380 INSTEAD OF UP THERE, OKAY? 97 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,450 - HANK, CAN YOU PITCH ME A BUNCH OF ALTS FOR THIS SCENE? 98 00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,051 I DON'T THINK MY CHARACTER WOULD SAY THIS SHIT. 99 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:15,589 - UH, FIRST OF ALL, WHO SAYS IT'S YOUR FUCKING CHARACTER? 100 00:04:15,623 --> 00:04:17,758 AND SECONDLY, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. 101 00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:19,293 SAY THE LINE. DON'T SAY THE LINE. 102 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:22,062 [whispering] I'M GOING ALAN SMITHEE ON THIS BITCH. 103 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,497 [beep] 104 00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,766 - I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS. GET ME DOWN. 105 00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,368 - LET'S GO AGAIN, OKAY? RIGHT AWAY, RIGHT? 106 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,037 AND...EVERYBODY. AND ACTION! 107 00:04:30,070 --> 00:04:32,340 [moaning, yelling] 108 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,741 - SUCK MY DICK, ASSHOLE. 109 00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:34,775 - CUT. 110 00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:37,311 GET HER DOWN. 111 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,380 GOT 15 MINUTES, OKAY? 112 00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,014 - I DON'T WANT 15 MINUTES. I WANNA GO HOME. 113 00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,017 - YOU'RE TELLING ME. FUCKIN' SEQUELS. 114 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,328 - QUICK. WE HAVE 15 MINUTES. 115 00:04:54,362 --> 00:04:56,430 WELL, NOT TOO QUICK. 116 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:58,065 - I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO WORK ON THE SCENE. 117 00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,700 - PLEASE. THERE IS NO FIXING THAT THING. 118 00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,503 I JUST WANTED TO PLAY... WITH YOU. 119 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:03,904 - [grunts] AGAIN? 120 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:06,407 I'M STILL A LITTLE SORE FROM THIS MORNING'S PLAYDATE. 121 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,975 - PUSSY. 122 00:05:08,008 --> 00:05:10,411 - YOU KNOW, I'M A WRITER, SASHA, 123 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:12,045 NOT A FUCK TOY. 124 00:05:12,079 --> 00:05:13,381 - DON'T LOOK NOW, 125 00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:15,115 BUT YOUR MANPON STRING IS HANGING OUT. 126 00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:16,550 - AH! YOU SEE THAT? YOU'RE FUNNY. 127 00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:17,651 YOU CAN WRITE YOUR OWN STUFF. 128 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,119 - OF COURSE I CAN. 129 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:21,889 BUT IT'S SO LONELY. 130 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,757 [cell phone rings] 131 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,426 NO. NO. 132 00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,428 YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING THAT. DON'T DO IT. 133 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,062 YOU'RE ANSWERING IT! 134 00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,931 I'M HATING YOU RIGHT NOW. 135 00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:33,367 - YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE YOU WHEN YOU'RE WORKING. 136 00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,035 JUST SAYIN'. HELLO? 137 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,037 WHAT? [sighs] 138 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,406 FUCK ME. 139 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,607 OKAY. JUST CUT HER OFF, 140 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,775 AND I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. 141 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,511 FUCK. 142 00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,413 - WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU CAN'T LEAVE. 143 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:47,448 - MY KID. SHE'S UP TO NO GOOD AGAIN. 144 00:05:47,481 --> 00:05:49,082 I GOTTA GO DEAL WITH HER. - NO, NO, NO, NO. 145 00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,851 YOU HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THIS KID. 146 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,820 YOU'RE BOUGHT AND PAID FOR, MOODY. 147 00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,000 NOW, THERE'S THAT WRITER'S MIND AT WORK. 148 00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,101 NOW WE'RE TALKIN'. 149 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:10,438 - MMM. GET YOUR FREAK ON, OFFICER. 150 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,005 - [giggles] 151 00:06:19,780 --> 00:06:21,615 - NO. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING? 152 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,917 THIS ISN'T FUNNY, ASSHOLE. 153 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,986 FUCK. 154 00:06:33,561 --> 00:06:37,097 - * WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAME HERE TONIGHT * 155 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,901 * I GOT THE FEELIN' THAT SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT * 156 00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,771 * I'M SO SCARED IN CASE I FALL OFF MY CHAIR * 157 00:06:43,804 --> 00:06:45,506 - YOU KNOW, BEX, YOU'RE REALLY MAKING ME REGRET 158 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:48,976 EVER SIGNING YOU UP FOR GUITAR LESSONS. 159 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,912 - I ONLY EVER DID IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED ME TO. 160 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:54,114 - REALLY? IT SEEMED TO ME YOU WERE PRETTY INTO IT. 161 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:57,150 - YEAH. I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD. 162 00:06:57,184 --> 00:07:00,120 - WELL PLAYED, YOUNG LADY. WELL PLAYED. 163 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,156 YOU'RE REALLY PARTYING LIKE A ROCK STAR THESE DAYS, 164 00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,758 AREN'T YA? - OH, YEAH. 165 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:07,761 I'M A FUCKIN' ROCK STAR, ALL RIGHT. 166 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:11,131 CAN'T EVEN CONVINCE A BOY TO LET ME GIVE HIM A BLOW JOB. 167 00:07:11,164 --> 00:07:12,933 - [chokes] 168 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,234 BECCA-- 169 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:15,869 - WHAT? 170 00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:18,171 I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE HONEST? 171 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:20,741 ISN'T THAT THE MOODY FAMILY THING? 172 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:23,243 OUR MOST PRIZED VIRTUE? 173 00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,178 THE HONESTY. 174 00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:26,113 - GO AHEAD, BE HONEST. 175 00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,549 GIVE YOUR FATHER A MASSIVE CORONARY EVENT. 176 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:30,751 - I'M NOT A HAPPY CAMPER, DAD. 177 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,653 - REALLY? I HADN'T NOTICED. 178 00:07:32,686 --> 00:07:34,855 - I DON'T LIKE HOW THINGS ARE CHANGING. 179 00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,224 YOU'RE NEVER AROUND. 180 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:40,027 BUT I'M NOT SURE I EVEN MISS YOU. 181 00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,997 - I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FATHER. 182 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,734 - [giggles] NO DUH, DAD. 183 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:50,003 BUT WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN? 184 00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,873 AND YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY SCARES ME? 185 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,642 - WHAT? 186 00:07:54,675 --> 00:07:57,210 - I LIKE BEING FUCKED UP. 187 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:59,212 NOW MORE THAN EVER. 188 00:07:59,246 --> 00:08:02,015 IS THAT A KID THING? 189 00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,618 OR A GENETIC THING? 190 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,855 'CAUSE I'M STARTING TO GET IT NOW. 191 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:11,124 THINGS ARE WAY FUNNIER WHEN I'M HIGH. 192 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:15,829 AND THE SAD STUFF IS JUST... WAY LESS SAD. 193 00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,098 IT'S ALMOST... 194 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,133 ROMANTIC. 195 00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:24,572 - ARE YOU OKAY? - I'M FINE! 196 00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,940 WHAT IS THE BIG FUCKING DEAL? 197 00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,876 I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T DONE THIS BEFORE, 198 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,611 TWI--ONCE. 199 00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:32,613 IN COLLEGE. 200 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,615 - RIGHT. 201 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,316 SO LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE, 202 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,052 SOMETHING PLEASANT, SOMETHING WITH, UH... 203 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:42,289 RAINBOWS AND...UNICORNS. 204 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:44,625 - STU ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM. 205 00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,793 - HE DID? 206 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,628 WELL, I MEAN, THAT'S EXCITING. 207 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,763 - HAVE YOU MET STU? - NO. 208 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:51,264 BECAUSE YOU WON'T LET ME. 209 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:52,966 - YEAH, BECAUSE YOU'LL JUDGE ME. 210 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,067 - THAT'S RIDICULOUS. 211 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,069 I'VE BEEN JUDGING YOU FOR YEARS. 212 00:08:59,306 --> 00:09:01,308 - JESUS! 213 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:03,076 THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL A LATE-TERM ABORTION. 214 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:04,812 IS THAT SHIT EVEN LEGAL? 215 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,014 - [whispers] MARCY, I DON'T THINK EVERYONE IS HERE 216 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,682 TO HAVE AN ABORTION. 217 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,084 - YOU NEVER KNOW, KAREN. 218 00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:12,886 JUST BECAUSE WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT 219 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,122 DOESN'T MEAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT SHIT. 220 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,291 SHE LOOKS SO HAPPY. - YEAH, SHE DOES. 221 00:09:18,325 --> 00:09:21,061 - I HAVE NEVER BEEN THAT HAPPY. 222 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:24,097 - OH. JUST BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S AHEAD OF HER. 223 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:25,699 - WELL... 224 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:27,601 WHAT IF THIS IS IT? 225 00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:31,004 WHAT IF THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE AT BEING TRULY HAPPY 226 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:33,774 AND I'M JUST SNUFFING IT OUT BECAUSE IT'S INCONVENIENT? 227 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:36,176 - MARCE, YOU KNOW WHAT? 228 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,946 YOU'VE CHANGED THIS APPOINTMENT A BUNCH OF TIMES. 229 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,748 I THINK YOU NEED TO FACE THE FACT 230 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:43,951 THAT THERE'S A PART OF YOU THAT WANTS TO HAVE A BABY. 231 00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:46,286 - BUT THAT'S THE THING... I DON'T. 232 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,156 I HATE KIDS. THEY'RE ANNOYING LITTLE SHITS. 233 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,124 - SHH. - IT'S A TERRIBLE BURDEN. 234 00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:53,260 - RUNKLE? 235 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,895 MARCY RUNKLE? 236 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,631 - [quietly] WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO, BABY? 237 00:09:57,665 --> 00:10:00,033 - MARCY RUNKLE? 238 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,117 - WOW. LOOK AT YOU. 239 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,119 WHAT ARE YOU-- YOU'RE SUCH A REGULAR, 240 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:21,254 YOU JUST WALK ON IN, THEY SLIDE YOU YOUR DRINK, 241 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,023 NO QUESTIONS ASKED? 242 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,357 - MEMBERSHIP HAS ITS PRIVILEGES, LADY. 243 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,793 - OH. 244 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:28,428 - AND I HAVE NO SHAME. I NEED THIS DRINK. 245 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,298 AND I WILL NEED ANOTHER SHORTLY THEREAFTER. 246 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,100 - BAD DAY? 247 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,168 - MEDIUM SHITTY, YEAH. 248 00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,970 - I HEAR THAT. 249 00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,406 - NO STRANGER TO MISERY, ARE YA? 250 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,810 I LIKE THAT IN A WOMAN SITTING ALONE AT A BAR. 251 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,177 TELL ME ALL YOUR TROUBLES. 252 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,813 TELL ME WHAT AILS YOU. 253 00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:48,115 - NO. IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF BORING KID STUFF. 254 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,684 - I GOT SOME OF THAT SHIT TOO. 255 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:51,885 - THAT'S NOT A LINE? - NO, NO, NO. 256 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,887 I GOT PLENTY OF BORING, ANGSTY KID SHIT 257 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,723 THAT KEEPS ME AWAKE AT NIGHT. 258 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,024 AT LEAST UNTIL I PASS OUT. 259 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,892 - HMM. 260 00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:00,828 BOY? GIRL? 261 00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:03,030 - GIRL MAKES IT SOUND SO PLEASANT. 262 00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,898 I HAVE ONE BIG PAIN-IN-THE-ASS 263 00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,166 TEENAGE DAUGHTER. 264 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,869 - OH, MY GOD. THAT'S THE WORST. 265 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:11,171 - WORD. - HMM. 266 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,440 - WELL, HERE'S TO, UH... 267 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,308 DIFFICULT DAUGHTERS. 268 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,310 - CHEERS. [clink] 269 00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,179 - AND, UH... 270 00:11:19,212 --> 00:11:21,381 HERE'S TO MOTHERS WHO DRINK WITH STRANGERS. 271 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,717 - AH, CHEERS, CHEERS. 272 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,365 [knocking on glass] 273 00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,317 - GOOD EVENING. 274 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,186 - I'M SORRY. THE GATE WAS OPEN. 275 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:01,354 - NO, I'M SORRY. ABOUT EVERYTHING. 276 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,323 - I'M PEGGY, YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 277 00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:04,825 - RIGHT, RIGHT. 278 00:12:04,858 --> 00:12:06,359 MARCY SAYS NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU. 279 00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,296 - WELL...I'M NOT SURE SHE WILL ANYMORE. 280 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,399 - WHY'S THAT? 281 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,234 - WELL, DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, BUT... 282 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,103 THE HOUSE HAS FALLEN OUT OF ESCROW. 283 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:18,138 - OF COURSE IT HAS! 284 00:12:18,171 --> 00:12:19,372 - THE BUYERS COULDN'T GET A LOAN. 285 00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,341 - OF COURSE THEY COULDN'T. 286 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:24,311 - IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME TO PUT IT BACK UP ON THE MARKET. 287 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,880 - OKAY. UM...WELL, UH... 288 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,816 I-I'LL TALK TO MARCY, 289 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,785 AND WE'LL GET BACK TO YOU. 290 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,821 - OKAY. 291 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,793 WHAT ADULT FILM WERE YOU WATCHING? 292 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,461 - EXCUSE ME? 293 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,530 - YOU WERE WATCHING PORNOGRAPHY, WEREN'T YOU? 294 00:12:43,563 --> 00:12:45,866 - I WAS. YES. 295 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,467 - WHAT KIND? 296 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,938 OH, YOU MUST THINK I'M SUCH A SLUT. 297 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,205 - NO, NO, NO, NOT AT ALL. 298 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,274 - YOU MUST. CALL ME ONE--I INSIST. 299 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,809 - OH, YOU LIKE THAT. - UH-HUH. 300 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,477 - OKAY. OH, YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SLUT. 301 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:58,478 - OH! [slap] 302 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,013 - OW! WHAT THE FUCK? 303 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,481 - YOU CAN CHOKE ME IF YOU WANT TO. 304 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,216 - NO, NO, I'M REALLY NOT INTO THAT. 305 00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:06,053 I HAD A BAD EXPERIENCE WITH AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIA RECENTLY. 306 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,454 - REALLY? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT. 307 00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:11,091 - SOME OTHER TIME, OKAY? - I JUST WANNA FEEL SOMETHING! 308 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,960 OH! OHH! 309 00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,228 PRETEND MY FATHER COULD WALK IN AT ANY SECOND. 310 00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:17,464 - THIS IS MY HOUSE. - JUST PRETEND! 311 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,232 - OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 312 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:21,334 I THINK I HEAR YOUR FATHER IN THE HALLWAY. 313 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:23,336 - OH, NO, I WANNA STOP, BUT I CAN'T! 314 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,573 YOUR BIG BLACK COCK FEELS SO GOOD! 315 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,042 - YEAH? THAT'S HIM. THERE HE IS. 316 00:13:29,076 --> 00:13:30,944 I SEE HIM COMING IN THE ROOM. 317 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:33,580 - DADDY, NO! I'M A BIG GIRL NOW. 318 00:13:33,613 --> 00:13:36,216 - IS HE STILL HERE? - NO, HE WENT TO GET HIS GUN. 319 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,551 - AAH! 320 00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:40,954 [both moaning] 321 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,923 - HE'S GONNA KILL BOTH OF US, CHARLIE. 322 00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:45,558 DADDY DOESN'T LIKE IT WHEN I FUCK THE SLAVES. 323 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,360 [gasps] 324 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:51,098 [panting] 325 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,967 OH, GOD, THAT WAS FUCKING INTENSE. 326 00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:57,070 I ALMOST WANTED TO FUCK YOU TO DEATH. 327 00:13:57,104 --> 00:13:59,106 BUT IN A GOOD WAY, YOU KNOW? 328 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,344 - WHOO! - [giggles] 329 00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,479 - YES. 330 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,081 YOU KNOW WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU? 331 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,617 - HMM? 332 00:14:10,650 --> 00:14:12,452 I MEAN, ASIDE FROM THE FACT 333 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:15,088 THAT YOU'RE LIKE SEVEN DIFFERENT KINDS OF NAKED RIGHT NOW. 334 00:14:15,122 --> 00:14:17,257 - OH, MY GOD. 335 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,360 DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW NICE THAT SOUNDS? 336 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,396 YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S BEEN SINCE A GUY HAS SAID THAT TO ME? 337 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:25,232 I'M SORRY, GO AHEAD. WHAT WERE YOU GONNA SAY? 338 00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:28,468 WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT ME? - YOU'RE VERY AGE-APPROPRIATE. 339 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,637 - [laughs] 340 00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:33,373 WOW. YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO PISS ALL OVER 341 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:35,375 A GIRL'S HAPPY BUZZ. - NO, NO, THAT'S A GOOD THING. 342 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,644 I THINK IT MEANS MAYBE I'M GROWIN' THE FUCK UP. 343 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,349 - THAT'S VERY GOOD FOR YOU. - YEP. 344 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:50,090 - BUT I AM LEAVING FOR NEW YORK IN A COUPLE DAYS. 345 00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,291 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO SUGGEST 346 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,926 THAT WE HAD A FUTURE OR ANYTHING. 347 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,095 - YOU REALLY ARE QUITE THE ROMANTIC, AREN'T YOU? 348 00:14:55,128 --> 00:14:57,130 - FUCK. EVERYTHING'S COMING OUT WRONG THIS MORNING. 349 00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:58,165 - I KNOW. NEXT THING YOU KNOW, 350 00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,367 YOU'RE GONNA SAY SOMETHING LESS THAN FLATTERING 351 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,236 ABOUT MY ASS. - NOPE. NO WAY. 352 00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:05,172 THAT THING IS BULLETPROOF. - [giggling] 353 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,640 - THAT IS AN ASS WRAPPED IN KEVLAR. 354 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,276 IF YOU SAID TO ME, "HANK... 355 00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:11,011 ALL YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW IS EAT THAT ASS," 356 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:14,081 I WOULD PUT ON A LOBSTER BIB AND EAT THAT ASS. 357 00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,349 FOR HOURS. [slaps] WITH GUSTO. 358 00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:19,519 - THANK YOU. MY ASS THANKS YOU. 359 00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,254 - YOUR ASS IS WELCOME. 360 00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,093 - AND DON'T WORRY. I HAD A LITTLE BIT OF FUN. 361 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,361 - A LITTLE BIT OF FUN IT WAS. 362 00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:30,597 - AND, UH, I THINK THAT WE SHOULD DO IT AGAIN. 363 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,565 'CAUSE YOU KNOW... 364 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,534 I'M HERE A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR, 365 00:15:34,567 --> 00:15:36,069 CHECKING UP ON MY DAUGHTER. 366 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,537 - YEAH? 367 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,139 WHAT DOES SHE DO? 368 00:15:39,172 --> 00:15:41,108 [door thuds shut] 369 00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,544 [knock on door] 370 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,385 - AAH! 371 00:15:52,419 --> 00:15:53,720 NOT A GOOD TIME. 372 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,022 - DON'T WORRY, GIRLY MAN. 373 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,656 I'M ALL ABOUT THE WORK RIGHT NOW. 374 00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:58,225 - YEAH, WELL, I'VE KINDA GOT SOME... 375 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:01,094 COMPANY. - OH...I SEE. 376 00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:04,097 IT'S COOL. I KNOW WE'RE NOT EXCLUSIVE. 377 00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,698 I SEE OTHER PEOPLE TOO, YOU KNOW? 378 00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,368 - MM. YEAH, WELL, I KNOW THAT. 379 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,203 COURSE YOU DO. 380 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:13,106 YEAH, BUT LIKE... HOW MANY? 381 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,641 - I'M NOT SOME BIG FUCKING SLUT, HANK. 382 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,343 - OH, NO, NO, NO, I'M NOT JUDGING. 383 00:16:16,376 --> 00:16:17,777 I'M JUST-- I'M JUST CURIOUS. 384 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,779 - WELL, I DID SLEEP WITH EDDIE NERO. 385 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,515 - GROSS! THAT IS DISGUSTING! 386 00:16:22,549 --> 00:16:24,117 HE POOPS ON PEOPLE. 387 00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:27,387 AND HE TOOK A MAN IN HIS MOUTH ONCE. 388 00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,789 [imitates gagging] 389 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:31,124 - OKAY, COME ON. 390 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,492 I NEED TO GO OVER TODAY'S PAGES. 391 00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:35,028 I CAN'T SAY THIS SHIT. IT'S ALL EXPOSITION. 392 00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,697 [continues gagging] 393 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:39,332 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY NOTES, 394 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,368 AND I HAVE TO GO MEET MY MOTHER FOR BREAKFAST. 395 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,702 - YOUR MOTHER? 396 00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:44,237 - YEAH, SHE'S IN TOWN FROM NEW YORK. 397 00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:45,772 SHE COMES IN EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE TO CHECK ON ME 398 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,507 AND MAKE SURE I'M GROUNDED. 399 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,376 - YOUR MOM. 400 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,078 UH... 401 00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:52,512 - ARE YOU HAVING A STROKE? 402 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,447 - EH... - YOU SOUND KIND OF RETARDED 403 00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:57,050 ALL OF A SUDDEN. - MAMA. 404 00:16:57,084 --> 00:16:59,086 - I SAW WE GO ONCE MORE, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW, I DO NOT THINK 405 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,788 THAT I SUCKED ENOUGH OF YOUR DICK LAST NIGHT. 406 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,823 [stutters] SASHA! 407 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,392 - MOM? 408 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,260 - MOM? - [strangled] UH... 409 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:09,529 - YOU FUCKED MY MOM? 410 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,131 - OH! 411 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:13,666 DUDE! THAT WAS SERIOUSLY UNCOOL! 412 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,505 - I THINK I--I GOTTA GO AFTER HER. 413 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,672 - YEAH, I THINK YOU BETTER PUT ON 414 00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,208 SOME CLOTHES FIRST, THOUGH. 415 00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,743 - OH! GOOD IDEA. 416 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,646 I...H-HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER? 417 00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,248 - I'M KINDA WRITING SOMETHING FOR HER. 418 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:30,083 - POOR BABY. - YEAH, IT TURNS OUT 419 00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,784 SHE'S REALLY QUITE THE FUCKING DIVA, HUH? 420 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,253 - NO. POOR BABY HER. 421 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,654 IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW OLD YOU GET, 422 00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,523 IT'S ALWAYS GONNA BE REALLY WEIRD 423 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,092 TO SEE YOUR MOTHER IN A SEXUAL SITUATION. 424 00:17:39,126 --> 00:17:40,360 - YEAH. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY 425 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,130 BEEN WITH THE AWESOME DUDE YOUR MOM JUST BONED. 426 00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:45,332 - RIGHT. - YEAH. 427 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,402 - WHAT? - WHAT? 428 00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,371 - I'M SORRY, DID YOU JUST SAY WHAT I THINK YOU SAID, 429 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,839 WHICH IS THAT YOU SLEPT WITH MY DAUGHTER? 430 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,174 - NO, NO, NO. 431 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,308 - NO, YOU'RE LYING NOW, BECAUSE YOU DID. 432 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:56,376 - YOU MISUNDERSTOOD. 433 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,512 I WAS MERELY TALKING ABOUT WRITERS AND ACTRESSES 434 00:17:59,546 --> 00:18:01,314 AND MARILYN MONROE AND ARTHUR MILLER 435 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,284 AND HOW THAT SHIT NEVER SEEMS TO WORK OUT. 436 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,585 - SHE'S A FUCKING KID! 437 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:07,354 YOU FUCKED MY FUCKING KID. 438 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:10,257 THAT'S NOT VERY AGE-APPROPRIATE, NOW IS IT, YOU ASSHOLE? 439 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,824 - TOUCHE. 440 00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,865 - SASHA, DEAR...HELLO. 441 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,401 CAN YOU COME OUT AND PLAY? 442 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:24,171 IT'S QUITE WARM OUT HERE. DO YOU KNOW WHY? 443 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:27,207 BECAUSE WE'RE BURNING MONEY. IT'S A BONFIRE OF CASH. 444 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:31,578 I'M FUCKED. MY CAREER IS OVER. 445 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,581 - SETTLE DOWN, ALFRED BITCHCOCK. LET ME TRY. 446 00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,783 - YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HER, DID YOU? 447 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,353 - NO WAY. THAT'S WHAT THE EXTRAS ARE FOR. 448 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:41,754 [pounding] SASHA. 449 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,190 IT'S HENRY MOODY. 450 00:18:43,223 --> 00:18:45,192 THE WRITER. REMEMBER ME? 451 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:47,660 THE POLISHER OF YOUR CRACKLING EXPOSITION. 452 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:50,563 I'D LIKE A WORD WITH YOU, PLEASE. 453 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:52,365 ONE WORD. 454 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,167 [click] 455 00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,168 AH. 456 00:18:55,202 --> 00:18:56,369 [door slams] 457 00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:59,539 IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, 458 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,409 YOUR MOTHER SMACKED ME UPSIDE THE HEAD PRETTY GOOD. 459 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,478 AND MY BALLS ARE KILLING ME. 460 00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:07,280 - I'M JUST GROSSED OUT RIGHT NOW. 461 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,949 - WELL, THAT'S-- THAT'S PRETTY NORMAL. 462 00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,751 - HOW WOULD YOU KNOW? 463 00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,420 - WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, 464 00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:15,955 I ONCE BUMPED UGLIES WITH MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND'S MOTHER. 465 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,358 THAT WAS A TERRIBLE TIME. WE GOT THROUGH IT, THOUGH. 466 00:19:18,391 --> 00:19:19,692 THIS TOO SHALL PASS. 467 00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,428 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? 468 00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:23,630 - NO. BUT TELL ME. 469 00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,268 - I WAS REALLY STARTING TO LIKE YOU. 470 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,203 - OH. WELL... 471 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,538 DESPITE THE FACT THAT I AM 472 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,406 THIS SWIRLING BLACK HOLE OF CHAOS, 473 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,375 I AM PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME SOMETIMES. 474 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:41,214 - BEST SEX OF MY LIFE. - REALLY? 475 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,282 BETTER THAN EDDIE NERO? 476 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:44,784 - WEIRDEST SEX OF MY LIFE. - I DON'T WANNA KNOW. 477 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:46,686 DO I? - NO. YOU DON'T. 478 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,856 I'M STILL HAUNTED BY IT. - HMM! 479 00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:52,759 - THE THINGS HE MADE ME DO. - JESUS! 480 00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:54,827 HEY, DON'T BLAME YOUR MOM... 481 00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,963 BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING, 482 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,232 AND DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON THESE GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE. 483 00:19:59,266 --> 00:20:00,967 THEY WORK THEIR FUCKING ASSES OFF. 484 00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,670 YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY YOU'RE SASHA FUCKING BINGHAM, 485 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,738 AMERICA'S SWEETHEART, THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, 486 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,307 THE DIRTY GIRL NEXT DOOR. 487 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:09,976 THAT'S THE BESTEST KIND. 488 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,811 UH-OH. 489 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,981 MMM... 490 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,617 - WEIRD? - ODDLY, NO. 491 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,387 BUT I'M REALLY GOOD AT COMPARTMENTALIZING SHIT. 492 00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:29,562 YOU ARE ONE DIRTY COP. 493 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,299 SOMETIMES I HATE MY CONSCIENCE... 494 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:33,900 WHOA! 495 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:35,968 BUT RIGHT NOW IT'S TELLING ME 496 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:37,970 THAT THIS MAY NOT BE THE BEST IDEA. 497 00:20:38,004 --> 00:20:39,839 - YEAH? WELL, IT'S THE ONLY WAY 498 00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:41,708 YOU'RE GONNA GET ME BACK OUT THERE. 499 00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:43,876 - OH, WELL. IN THAT CASE... 500 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:53,886 HEY! 501 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:57,724 WELL... 502 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,431 THIS IS A FINE HOW-DO-YOU-DO. 503 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:16,543 - WE NEED TO TALK BUSINESS, MARCY. 504 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,445 - WHAT? 505 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:21,013 OKAY. 506 00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:23,950 - I MEAN, IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT, JUST DO IT. 507 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,619 I'M A MAN. SORTA. 508 00:21:26,653 --> 00:21:29,622 I MEAN, I-I CAN TAKE IT. I THINK. 509 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:31,858 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, STU? 510 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:34,861 - IT'S JUST YOU'RE SO QUIET, AND THAT IS WEIRD. 511 00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:38,465 I MEAN, USUALLY YOU'RE YAKKING UP A STORM AND... 512 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,701 I'VE BECOME QUITE FOND OF THAT OBSCENE VERBAL DIARRHEA. 513 00:21:41,734 --> 00:21:43,536 - THAT'S LOVELY. 514 00:21:43,570 --> 00:21:45,405 AND DISGUSTING, STU. THANKS. 515 00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:46,773 - IN MY EXPERIENCE, 516 00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:48,808 WHEN A WOMAN HAS RUN OUT OF THINGS TO SAY TO ME, 517 00:21:48,841 --> 00:21:50,109 DONE. 518 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,845 TIME TO THROW ANOTHER EX-WIFE ON THE FIRE. 519 00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:55,014 - I WASN'T PLANNING ON BREAKING UP WITH YOU, STU. 520 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,984 NOT ANYTIME SOON, ANYWAY. 521 00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:01,988 - WELL, I'M GUESSING YOU'RE NOT MOVING IN WITH ME. 522 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,391 - LOOK, MAN, WE COULD TALK ABOUT 523 00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:07,527 THE SHACKING UP SHIT LATER, OKAY? 524 00:22:07,560 --> 00:22:09,762 [clears throat] 525 00:22:09,796 --> 00:22:13,633 BUT I DO... HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 526 00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,768 - IT'S MY PENIS, ISN'T IT? 527 00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:17,637 - WHAT? - THE SIZE. 528 00:22:17,670 --> 00:22:20,039 IT HURTS YOU, DOESN'T IT? GOD DAMN IT! 529 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,575 - NO! YOUR PENIS IS FINE, STU. 530 00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:24,043 - FINE? FINE? 531 00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:27,113 - YES. FINE. IN A GOOD WAY. 532 00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,815 IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY. 533 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,384 I MEAN, AND I'VE SEEN SOME WEIRD, FUCKED-UP WANGS 534 00:22:31,418 --> 00:22:33,152 IN MY DAY, SO GOOD ON YOU. 535 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,422 - OKAY. 536 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:37,857 THEN HONESTY IT IS... OKAY? 537 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:39,726 COME ON, BABY. GO FOR IT. 538 00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:40,960 I'M ALL EARS. 539 00:22:43,596 --> 00:22:45,164 - [groans] 540 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,966 I'M PREGNANT. 541 00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:03,115 - [sobbing] 542 00:23:03,149 --> 00:23:05,552 - OH, GOD, STU. PLEASE DON'T CRY. 543 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,887 NO. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK! 544 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,123 - NOT WHAT I THINK? IT'S NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE? 545 00:23:11,157 --> 00:23:14,694 - HARDLY. - I'M GONNA BE A FATHER! 546 00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:15,928 - NO. STU! STUART! 547 00:23:15,962 --> 00:23:18,431 YOU ARE NOT LETTING ME TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING ON. 548 00:23:18,465 --> 00:23:19,766 - YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT KEEPING IT? 549 00:23:19,799 --> 00:23:21,868 YOU'RE GONNA GET RID OF IT? - NO. I'M KEEPING IT. 550 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:23,035 - OH, THANK GOD, THANK GOD. 551 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:24,604 - I THOUGHT ABOUT DOING THE DEED, 552 00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:26,138 BUT I COULDN'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. 553 00:23:26,172 --> 00:23:28,140 BUT THERE IS THIS OTHER THING. 554 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:29,175 - OW! WHAT? 555 00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:31,978 - CHARLIE. - RUNKLE? OH, GOD! 556 00:23:32,011 --> 00:23:33,546 I DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF THAT. 557 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,981 OH, MY GOD, HE MUST BE SO UPSET! 558 00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:36,449 POOR BASTARD! 559 00:23:36,483 --> 00:23:38,751 - WELL-- [cell phone rings] 560 00:23:38,785 --> 00:23:39,752 - AH! 561 00:23:39,786 --> 00:23:41,120 IT'S MOTHER! 562 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,456 - OH. - WHAT AM I GONNA TELL HER? 563 00:23:43,490 --> 00:23:45,825 I GOTTA TELL HER THE TRUTH, OBVIOUSLY. 564 00:23:45,858 --> 00:23:47,827 - OBVIOUSLY. - HELLO, MOTHER? 565 00:23:47,860 --> 00:23:49,762 GUESS WHAT. 566 00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,864 I'M GONNA BE A FATHER. 567 00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:53,466 [laughing] YEAH! 568 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:57,036 TALK ABOUT THE GODDAMN CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! 569 00:23:57,069 --> 00:24:00,039 [soft rock in background] 570 00:24:00,072 --> 00:24:06,045 * 571 00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:12,218 - OH, BOY. 572 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:17,857 - FUCKING KIDS. 573 00:24:17,890 --> 00:24:21,027 - THEY'RE JUST A TERRIBLE BURDEN, AREN'T THEY? 574 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:22,729 - EVER FEEL LIKE YOU'RE LOSING THE WAR? 575 00:24:22,762 --> 00:24:25,765 - UM, YEAH. I THINK THAT I'M IN TOUCH WITH THAT EMOTION. 576 00:24:25,798 --> 00:24:28,000 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 577 00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:30,870 - HOPE FOR THE BEST. 578 00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:32,939 PLAN FOR THE WORST AND... 579 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,674 SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. 580 00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:35,675 I DON'T KNOW-- JUST EMBRACE THE FACT 581 00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,844 THAT WE'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FUCKING HYPOCRITES. 582 00:24:37,877 --> 00:24:38,911 - TRUE DAT. 583 00:24:40,046 --> 00:24:41,147 - OH. 584 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:43,716 - I STILL HATE YOU. - I KNOW, I KNOW. 585 00:24:43,750 --> 00:24:47,053 - BUT I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I'M IN OVER MY HEAD 586 00:24:47,086 --> 00:24:48,955 AND I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY SHIT. 587 00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:51,157 - HONEY...COME HERE. IT'S OKAY. 588 00:24:51,190 --> 00:24:53,626 LISTEN. 589 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:56,563 WHAT SAY YOU TO A COUPLE OF 590 00:24:56,596 --> 00:24:57,864 ROOM SERVICE BURGERS 591 00:24:57,897 --> 00:24:59,966 AND AN $18 HOTEL MOVIE? 592 00:24:59,999 --> 00:25:01,868 - THAT SOUNDS PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME. 593 00:25:01,901 --> 00:25:03,135 CAN I COME? 594 00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:04,737 - I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW. 595 00:25:04,771 --> 00:25:06,839 - SURE. I GET IT. 596 00:25:06,873 --> 00:25:07,840 - BUT IF I WERE, 597 00:25:07,874 --> 00:25:10,877 I'D PROBABLY APOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR TODAY. 598 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:14,747 - WELL, IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY SPEAKING TO ME 599 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:16,749 AND YOU ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT, 600 00:25:16,783 --> 00:25:20,019 I MIGHT EVEN RESPOND BY SAYING THAT I DESERVED IT. 601 00:25:20,052 --> 00:25:25,157 AND MAYBE I'D EVEN APOLOGIZE AND SAY THAT I WAS SORRY... 602 00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,859 FOR EVERYTHING. 603 00:25:26,893 --> 00:25:29,796 - MAYBE? - DEFINITELY. 604 00:25:31,831 --> 00:25:33,199 - I'LL SEE YOU UPSTAIRS. 605 00:25:33,232 --> 00:25:35,201 - YES. I'LL BE UP IN A SECOND. 606 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:48,147 YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY. - HMM? 607 00:25:48,180 --> 00:25:50,583 - IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW RICH, HOW FAMOUS. 608 00:25:50,617 --> 00:25:52,151 THEY'RE ALL JUST LITTLE KIDS 609 00:25:52,184 --> 00:25:54,220 WHO NEED THEIR MOMMIES AND THEIR DADDIES. 610 00:25:54,253 --> 00:25:56,656 - HERE'S HOPING. 611 00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:59,358 - AND I KNOW I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU THAT WELL, 612 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:00,927 SO...THIS MIGHT BE OUT OF LINE, 613 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,629 BUT I'M GONNA SAY IT ANYWAY. 614 00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:03,763 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO. - I'M GONNA. 615 00:26:03,796 --> 00:26:04,964 - ALL RIGHT. 616 00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:08,635 - YOU...ARE COMING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE 617 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:10,837 TO THE POINT OF NO RETURN. 618 00:26:10,870 --> 00:26:12,905 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 619 00:26:12,939 --> 00:26:15,007 - THIS THING THAT YOU GOT GOING... 620 00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:19,646 IT'S VERY ROMANTIC AND CHARMING AND CERTAINLY DEVIL-MAY-CARE. 621 00:26:19,679 --> 00:26:20,947 BUT... 622 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:24,016 IT'S LAST CALL, PAL. 623 00:26:24,050 --> 00:26:27,887 YOU SHOULD GET OUT WHILE THE GETTING'S GOOD. 624 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,256 - WHAT IF IT'S ALREADY TOO LATE? 625 00:26:31,758 --> 00:26:33,159 - OH. WELL... 626 00:26:33,192 --> 00:26:34,961 COULD BE. I DON'T KNOW. 627 00:26:34,994 --> 00:26:36,929 CERTAINLY DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDN'T TRY. 628 00:26:38,865 --> 00:26:41,300 MEANWHILE... [clears throat] 629 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:43,302 WHY DON'T YOU... 630 00:26:43,335 --> 00:26:45,772 KEEP YOUR GRUBBY FUCKING PAWS OFF MY DAUGHTER, YEAH? 631 00:26:45,805 --> 00:26:47,640 - YES, MA'AM. 632 00:26:47,674 --> 00:26:50,743 [Motley Crue's Home Sweet Home playing] 633 00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,412 - * TAKE ME TO YOUR HEART 634 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:57,650 * FEEL ME IN YOUR BONES 635 00:26:57,684 --> 00:26:59,686 * JUST ONE MORE NIGHT 636 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:02,321 * AND I'M COMIN' OFF THIS 637 00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:04,423 * LONG AND WINDY ROAD 638 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:05,424 - [whistle] 639 00:27:05,457 --> 00:27:08,027 - YEAH! - YEAH! 640 00:27:08,060 --> 00:27:12,031 crowd: * I'M ON MY WAY 641 00:27:12,064 --> 00:27:15,034 * I'M ON MY WAY 642 00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:18,304 * HOME SWEET HOME 643 00:27:18,337 --> 00:27:20,139 * 644 00:27:20,172 --> 00:27:22,441 * TONIGHT, TONIGHT 645 00:27:22,474 --> 00:27:25,978 * I'M ON MY WAY 646 00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:29,048 * I'M ON MY WAY 647 00:27:29,081 --> 00:27:32,251 * HOME SWEET HOME 648 00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:33,319 - WHOO! - [whistle] 649 00:27:33,352 --> 00:27:36,455 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 650 00:27:36,488 --> 00:27:40,192 - * YOU KNOW THAT I'VE SEEN * 651 00:27:40,226 --> 00:27:44,430 * TOO MANY ROMANTIC DREAMS 652 00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:47,066 * SOMETIMES NOTHIN' 653 00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:49,068 * KEEPS ME TOGETHER 654 00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:51,170 * AT THE SEAMS 655 00:27:51,203 --> 00:27:54,807 * I'M ON MY WAY 656 00:27:54,841 --> 00:27:58,010 * JUST SET ME FREE 657 00:27:58,044 --> 00:28:01,914 * HOME SWEET HOME 658 00:28:01,948 --> 00:28:04,917 [light piano notes] 659 00:28:04,951 --> 00:28:08,687 *