1 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,043 - PREVIOUSLY, ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:10,344 - WHAT? YOU GUYS ARE DOING IT NOW? 3 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:11,545 - IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 4 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,147 - IT SHOULD BE PRETTY CUT AND DRY. 5 00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:16,250 YOU PLEAD GUILTY TO UNLAWFUL SEXUAL CONDUCT, 6 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:19,253 THE STATUTORY RAPE CHARGE GOES AWAY. 7 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,592 NICE WORK, ASSHOLE. 8 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,060 DEAL'S OFF. 9 00:00:26,094 --> 00:00:27,795 - NO FAIR. INDIAN GIVERS. 10 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,197 - I'M DROPPING THE CASE, 11 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,099 LEAVING THE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO FIND 12 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:33,734 AN ATTORNEY WHO SUITS YOUR PARTICULAR PERSONALITY. 13 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,736 - LOOK AROUND. WELCOME TO ROCK BOTTOM. 14 00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,207 I LIVE IN THIS SHITTY, FILTHY HOTEL ROOM. 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,441 YOU HATE ME. BECCA HATES ME. 16 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:41,609 MY ATTORNEY DUMPED ME. 17 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,544 - I'LL BE YOUR ATTORNEY AGAIN. - REALLY? 18 00:00:43,577 --> 00:00:44,745 YOU WILL? - YES. 19 00:00:44,778 --> 00:00:46,214 NO MORE SEX. 20 00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,715 - I'M PEGGY, YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 21 00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,117 - YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING SLUT. 22 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,118 - [grunts] - OW! 23 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,285 WHAT THE FUCK? 24 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,786 - YOU CAN CHOKE ME IF YOU WANT TO. 25 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,156 - SO WHAT IF YOU KNOCKED UP ONE OF THESE SLUNTS? 26 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,224 - I WOULD PRESENT HER WITH A GIFT CARD 27 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,692 ENTITLING THE BEARER TO ONE BACK-ALLEY ABORTION. 28 00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,128 - I'M PREGNANT. 29 00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,163 - [laughs and sobs] 30 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,397 - OH, GOD, STU. 31 00:01:03,431 --> 00:01:05,266 JESUS. 32 00:01:05,299 --> 00:01:06,734 - I'M GONNA BE A FATHER! 33 00:01:06,767 --> 00:01:08,269 - NO. STU! 34 00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,651 - HERE'S TO HANK MOODY... 35 00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:24,885 VERSUS THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. 36 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,387 - UP YOURS. 37 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,788 AND HERE'S TO YOU KEEPING MY BLACK ASS 38 00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,157 OUT OF SAN QUENTIN. 39 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,258 - I'LL DO MY UTMOST. 40 00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:32,760 - AND THE DEVIL TAKE THE HINDMOST. 41 00:01:32,793 --> 00:01:34,228 - REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE UP THERE ON THE STAND 42 00:01:34,262 --> 00:01:35,496 AND THE PROSECUTOR ASKS YOU-- 43 00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:37,365 - [imitating Richard Nixon] I AM NOT A CROOK. 44 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,532 - [chuckles] THAT'S GOOD. 45 00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,867 - I AM NOT A CROOK. 46 00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,135 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 47 00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,203 YOU'RE SICK OF ALL THE PREP. 48 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,537 I UNDERSTAND. I GOT IT. 49 00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:45,406 - I AM SICK OF IT, YES, BUT I'M ALSO NERVOUS. 50 00:01:45,439 --> 00:01:46,374 I AM. - YEAH, YOU SHOULD BE. 51 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,808 - YEAH, I JUST HOPE I DON'T GET THE SQUIRTS 52 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,310 UP ON THE STAND. 53 00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,378 - WELL, ME TOO. 54 00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,546 NERVOUS SHITTERS ARE ALMOST ALWAYS FOUND GUILTY. 55 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:53,781 - I WOULD IMAGINE. 56 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,249 HOW ABOUT YOU? 57 00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:57,751 YOU NERVOUS AT ALL? - NO. 58 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,387 I USED TO BE. 59 00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:01,589 FUCK, I USED TO BLOW CHUNKS THE NIGHT BEFORE 60 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:02,856 EVERY FIRST DAY IN COURT. 61 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:03,857 - NO, THAT'S HOT. YEAH. 62 00:02:03,891 --> 00:02:06,260 I WISH I HAD BEEN THERE TO HOLD YOUR HAIR BACK 63 00:02:06,294 --> 00:02:07,395 AND FONDLE YOUR TITTIES. 64 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:10,364 - OH, HOW YOU TALK. [chuckles] 65 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,300 WELL, BUT I'VE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME NOW. 66 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,901 I'VE LOST THE BUTTERFLIES. 67 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:16,604 - YEAH. 68 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:18,906 WELL, IT'S BEEN AN INTERESTING RIDE. 69 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,409 - THAT IS ONE WAY TO PUT IT. 70 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:22,943 - THANKS FOR STICKING IT OUT WITH ME. 71 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:26,880 - YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME. 72 00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:29,250 - DO YOU WANT TO, UH... 73 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,518 COME UPSTAIRS AND HAVE A NIGHTCAP? 74 00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:32,686 I'VE GOT THE SWELLEST LITTLE HONOR BAR IN TOWN. 75 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,255 - THAT'S A NICE TRY. 76 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,557 - OH, COME ON. CAN YOU BLAME A GUY? 77 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,925 IT'S THE FRIDAY BEFORE THE MONDAY 78 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:41,329 I STAND TRIAL FOR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY. 79 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,564 A MAN MIGHT BE CRAVING SOME COMPANY. 80 00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:46,767 SOME OF YOUR SWEET, INTELLIGENT COMPANY. 81 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,337 - GET A MASSAGE, A FACIAL. 82 00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:51,739 - STOP TEASING ME WITH YOUR DIRTY TALK. 83 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,475 - I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY. 84 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,679 BRIGHT AND EARLY WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL. 85 00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:04,485 HANG IN THERE. 86 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,819 I'M GOOD AT THIS. 87 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,222 - [sighs] 88 00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:21,369 - HOW CAN I HELP YOU, SIR? 89 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:23,737 - MY KEY HAS FAILED ME, M'LADY. 90 00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:26,274 HENRY JAMES MOODY. THE THIRD. 91 00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:28,309 - YES, MR. MOODY. 92 00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,477 THERE'S JUST THE MATTER OF THE BILL. 93 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,811 - WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH IT? 94 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,946 - WELL, IT WOULD APPEAR THAT THE CREDIT CARD COMPANY 95 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,915 IS NOT ACCEPTING YOUR CHARGES. 96 00:03:34,948 --> 00:03:36,116 - OH, WELL, THAT SHIT HAPPENS. 97 00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,552 BETWEEN YOU AND ME, I'M PRETTY FUCKING SOLVENT RIGHT NOW. 98 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,288 I MADE A HUNDY LARGE LAST WEEK. 99 00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,490 - OH, GOOD FOR YOU, SIR. - FOR DOING NOTHING, LITERALLY. 100 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,425 A FOURTH-GRADER COULD HAVE STEPPED IN FOR ME. 101 00:03:44,458 --> 00:03:45,559 AMERICA. 102 00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:46,727 IT'S A GREAT FUCKING COUNTRY, HUH? 103 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,828 - GREAT. 104 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,430 - SO CAN WE PUT THIS ON MY TAB 105 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,698 OR YOU WANT TO GIVE MY AGENT A CALL? 106 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,433 YOU'RE NOT GONNA THROW ME OUT ON MY ASS 107 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,368 OVER SOME PIDDLY LITTLE SUM, ARE YOU? 108 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,469 - WELL-- 109 00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:56,470 - WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE? 110 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,438 WHAT DO I OWE? - LET'S SEE. 111 00:03:57,471 --> 00:03:59,707 HERE WE GO. 112 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:03,977 ROUGHLY, UH, $25,000 AND SOME CHANGE. 113 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,546 - WELL, FUCK MY FACE. 114 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,549 [upbeat music] 115 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:16,524 * 116 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,872 - [grunts] 117 00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,407 [grunts] 118 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,511 HEY...SWEETIE. 119 00:05:10,544 --> 00:05:12,613 DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THE FRESH SEA AIR? 120 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,914 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 121 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:16,016 - CREDIT CARD SNAFU AT THE HOTEL. 122 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,018 I COULDN'T GET IN TOUCH WITH UNCLE RUNKLE 123 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:20,388 AND I DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE YOU GUYS UP. 124 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,623 - YOU COULDN'T FIND A FLOOZY TO TAKE YOU IN? 125 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,791 - HEY NOW. 126 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,593 WHAT'S WRONG WITH COMMUNING WITH NATURE, 127 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:26,894 SLEEPING UNDER THE STARS? 128 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:30,398 - THERE'S BIRD SHIT ON YOUR SHOULDER. 129 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,466 - OH, LOOK AT THAT. 130 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,668 YUCK. SO THERE IS. 131 00:05:34,702 --> 00:05:36,670 - DID YOU DRINK AND DRIVE? 132 00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:39,072 - IN THAT ORDER? 133 00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,674 - COME IN. 134 00:05:40,708 --> 00:05:42,776 - UH, I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA, BEX. 135 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:45,646 YOUR MOM-- - SHE SAID IT WAS OKAY. 136 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:48,616 - WELL, IN THAT CASE. 137 00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,923 - OH, GOD. 138 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,425 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 139 00:05:57,458 --> 00:05:59,460 I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M DEFLOWERING 140 00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,562 MY OWN LITTLE BROTHER. 141 00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,831 - BELIEVE IT, SISTER CHRISTIAN. 142 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,098 KEEPIN' IT IN THE FAMILY. 143 00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,400 - OH, MY. - TABOO-STYLE. 144 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:09,437 - OH, MY OWN BROTHER INSIDE ME. 145 00:06:09,470 --> 00:06:12,139 THIS IS SO FUCKING WRONG! 146 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:15,409 - SO WRONG, MY SEXY SIBLING. 147 00:06:15,443 --> 00:06:17,144 - OH, WE SHARED A CRIB. 148 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,979 - SO VERY, VERY WRONG. 149 00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,148 - FUCK ME, FLESH AND BLOOD! 150 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,450 FUCK ME. 151 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,151 - MOM AND DAD WOULD NOT LIKE THIS 152 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:25,152 ONE LITTLE BIT, WOULD THEY? 153 00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:26,487 - OH, NO. 154 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,721 MOM AND DAD. 155 00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:31,892 WHAT IF THEY COME HOME EARLY FROM MAMMOTH? 156 00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,727 - UH... 157 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:34,962 MOM AND DAD WERE-- 158 00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,565 MOM AND DAD WERE KILLED RECENTLY 159 00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:38,899 IN AN UNFORTUNATE CAR CRASH. 160 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:40,200 - OH! 161 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:45,573 OH, YOUR VIRGINITY IS MINE, BROTHER RUNKLE! 162 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:49,843 - YOU GETTING CLOSE, BY ANY CHANCE? 163 00:06:49,877 --> 00:06:52,613 - DID YOU CUM ALREADY? 164 00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,615 - A COUPLE MINUTES BACK, YEAH. 165 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,917 I THOUGHT I COULD POWER THROUGH THE NEXT BONER. 166 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,085 MY BAD. 167 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,721 - OH. HMM. 168 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,190 I DON'T MIND, CHARLIE. 169 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,559 PLEASING YOU PLEASES ME. 170 00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:08,128 - PLEASE ME YOU DO, MY FANTASY SISTER. 171 00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:11,064 - I WANT TO FULFILL ALL OF YOUR FANTASIES, CHARLIE. 172 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,467 I KNOW YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF SICK, TWISTED STUFF 173 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,235 GOING ON IN THAT DOME OF YOURS 174 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,505 AND I WANT TO MAKE IT ALL COME TRUE. 175 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:21,642 - GOOD TO KNOW. 176 00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,877 - DO YOU WANT TO WATCH ME HAVE SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN? 177 00:07:23,911 --> 00:07:26,614 - NOT REALLY. 178 00:07:26,647 --> 00:07:27,948 MAYBE. 179 00:07:27,981 --> 00:07:29,016 [phone rings] 180 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,552 - [gasps] 181 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,188 RUNKLE-HAUS. 182 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,725 UGH. IT'S YOUR EX. 183 00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,026 - MARCY? 184 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:40,260 - WHO THE HELL WAS THAT? 185 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,995 - A LITTLE BUSY HERE, MARCE. 186 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:44,031 WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR? 187 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:47,200 - STU AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOU OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT. 188 00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:49,837 - WELL, I CAN'T DO IT TONIGHT. 189 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,238 I GOT RESERVATIONS AT MOZZA. 190 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:53,607 WHAT ABOUT SOMETIME NEXT WEEK? 191 00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,009 - LOOK, I KNOW IT'S LAST-MINUTE AND ALL, 192 00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,946 BUT, UH, STU'S BEEN AFTER ME EVER SINCE 193 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,549 I MOVED IN HERE TO HAVE YOU OVER, SO-- 194 00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,250 - YEAH, WHY? SO HE CAN RUB MY NOSE 195 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,285 IN THE OPULENT LIFESTYLE I COULD NEVER GIVE YOU? 196 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:07,020 - HARDLY. 197 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,189 STU IS ALL ABOUT LOOKING TO THE FUTURE. 198 00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:11,525 HE SAYS IT'S WHAT MATURE ADULTS DO. 199 00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:12,826 - OKAY, OKAY. FINE. 200 00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,529 I GUESS I CAN SWITCH SOME THINGS AROUND. 201 00:08:15,563 --> 00:08:20,167 - [moaning] 202 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,869 - CAN I BRING A DATE? 203 00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:24,237 - CONSIDER YOURSELF PLUS ONE. 204 00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:27,941 - GOTTA GO. 205 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,743 - SO IS THERE ANY-- ANYTHING NEW 206 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,011 I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT? 207 00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,746 LATEST DEVELOPMENTS? 208 00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,282 ANY NEWS I NEED TO BE KEPT ABREAST OF? 209 00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:36,884 [chuckles] 210 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,719 HE SAID, "BREAST." 211 00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,754 HE DID. 212 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,856 "BREAST." 213 00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:47,795 - WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, UM... 214 00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:49,096 I COULD USE SOME MONEY. 215 00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,198 I MEAN, WE HAVE A MORTGAGE TO PAY. 216 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,733 - YEAH, BUT I DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE. 217 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:53,734 YOU KICKED ME OUT, REMEMBER? 218 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,968 - EXCUSE ME? 219 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:56,904 - NO, THE CHECK'S IN THE MAIL. HONESTLY. 220 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,271 DESPITE THE GREAT UNPLEASANTNESS, 221 00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:01,141 I'VE BEEN DOING QUITE WELL FINANCIALLY, SO. 222 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,176 - THAT'S WHY YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF YOUR HOTEL? 223 00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,812 - THAT WAS JUST A CREDIT CARD SNAFU, HONEY. 224 00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,847 TURNS OUT IT'S REALLY EXPENSIVE TO LIVE IN A HOTEL. 225 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,181 BUT I'M DOING FINE, SWEETIE. 226 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,651 YOUR FATHER IS A BIG-TIME WORDSMITH. 227 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,285 - GREAT, SO YOU CAN BUY ME A CAR. 228 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,654 - YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE. 229 00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,222 - GREAT, SO YOU CAN TEACH ME. 230 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,057 - WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? 231 00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,626 - PEARL'S LEARNING HOW TO DRIVE RIGHT NOW. 232 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:19,927 BEN'S TEACHING HER. 233 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,629 HE'S GONNA GET HER A CAR TOO. 234 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:24,632 - GET A LOAD OF BLACK JESUS. 235 00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,199 DOES HE TURN WATER INTO WHISKEY TOO? 236 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,200 HEAL THE SICK? 237 00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,802 YEAH, HE DOES, HUH? 238 00:09:28,836 --> 00:09:30,904 WHATEVER. 239 00:09:30,938 --> 00:09:32,673 I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU BEHIND THE WHEEL. 240 00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:34,141 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 241 00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,609 - YEAH, I COULD TEACH HER. 242 00:09:35,643 --> 00:09:37,010 - YOU'RE A TERRIBLE DRIVER. 243 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:38,311 - I AM NOT. - YES, YOU ARE. 244 00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:41,181 YOU'RE LIKE AN ASIAN WOMAN WITH ALZHEIMER'S. 245 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:43,183 NO ARMS OR LEGS. 246 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:44,652 STEERING WITH YOUR TONGUE. 247 00:09:44,685 --> 00:09:46,086 [grunts] 248 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:47,621 WHOOPS. YOU JUST FELL OVER. 249 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:48,656 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? 250 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,123 [grunts] 251 00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:51,358 YOU SEE THAT? NO, THAT WAS HORRIBLE. 252 00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,126 WE STILL GOT IT... - YOU ARE SO STUPID. 253 00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:54,027 - THAT FAMILY CHEMISTRY. 254 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,730 THE COSBYS, THE HUXTABLES, THE MANSONS, 255 00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:57,931 THEY GOT NOTHING ON US. 256 00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,733 NO, NO. YOU STAY. 257 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,235 YOU WERE THE ARCHITECT OF THIS SUMPTUOUS FEAST 258 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,639 AND I WILL BE THE BOY THAT BUSES THE SHIT OUT OF IT. 259 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:08,175 OOH, OOH. WHOA. 260 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,810 - [chuckles] - DON'T LAUGH, 261 00:10:09,843 --> 00:10:12,179 'CAUSE YOU'LL JUST ENCOURAGE HIM. 262 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,280 [engine revs and tires screech] 263 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,248 - HEY, WHOA. 264 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,684 OKAY. 265 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,018 YEAH. 266 00:10:18,051 --> 00:10:19,887 I'VE LOST FEELING IN MY ASS. 267 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,222 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 268 00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,291 [gears grinding] WELL, THAT'S TOTALLY NORMAL. 269 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:25,959 NOT REALLY. 270 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:27,327 YOU HEAR THAT? BLACKIE'S IN PAIN. 271 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,030 POOR BLACKIE'S JUST CRYING. 272 00:10:30,063 --> 00:10:32,432 - DID I BREAK IT? - NO, NO, NO, NO, BABE. 273 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,433 JUST THROW IT IN NEUTRAL. - NUH-UH. 274 00:10:33,466 --> 00:10:34,868 THAT'S IT. 275 00:10:34,902 --> 00:10:35,969 I DON'T WANT TO LEARN TO DRIVE ANYMORE. 276 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:36,837 IT'S TOO HARD. 277 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:38,105 - HONEY, YOU MIGHT WANT TO RECONSIDER. 278 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,172 L.A. IS NOT KNOWN FOR THE QUALITY 279 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,173 OF ITS PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. 280 00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:42,209 - THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE BIG BLUE BUS. 281 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:43,476 - WHAT? 282 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:44,745 YOU WANT HER SANDWICHED BETWEEN SOME GUY WITH TEARDROP TATTOOS 283 00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,781 AND AN OLD LADY THAT SMELLS LIKE CAT FOOD AND MENSTRUAL BLOOD? 284 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:49,950 - WHY WOULD AN OLD WOMAN SMELL LIKE MENSTRUAL BLOOD? 285 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,084 - WELL-- 286 00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,120 - BECAUSE HE NEVER THINKS BEFORE HE OPENS HIS MOUTH. 287 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,022 - THAT MAY BE TRUE, 288 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,757 BUT CRAZY PEOPLE DO RIDE THE BUS 289 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:59,026 AND MAYBE SHE SMELLS OF MENSTRUAL BLOOD 290 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,294 BECAUSE THE HOMELESS PROSTITUTE TWO SEATS AWAY FROM HER 291 00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,730 JUST THREW HER TAMPON AT HER. 292 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,231 - OH, MY GOD. - EVER THINK OF THAT? 293 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,733 YEAH. - I THINK I'M GOING TO THROW UP. 294 00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,901 - DO IT ALL OVER HIS CAR. 295 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,436 - COME ON, LADIES. WHERE'S THE LOVE? 296 00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,637 WE GOT TO TRY TO FIND IT. [engine starts] 297 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,873 THIS WAY, WE'RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO PARALLEL PARKING. 298 00:11:12,906 --> 00:11:14,908 OKAY, NOW THROW IT IN NEUTRAL. 299 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:15,943 [gears grinding] COME ON, STEP ON THE CLUTCH. 300 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:17,110 LEFT. LEFT! 301 00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:18,979 - [giggles] 302 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:19,980 - WHY WOULD YOU CROSS OVER? 303 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,815 IT'S THE LEFT FOOT. 304 00:11:21,849 --> 00:11:23,884 RIGHT FOOT--THAT'S IT. KEEP IT ON THE GAS. 305 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:24,985 NO, NOT ON IT. 306 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,820 NOW, JUST KEEP HOVERING. 307 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,390 - * DESERVES A HOLIDAY 308 00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:33,326 * IN THE SUN 309 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,063 * ALMOST EVERY DAY 310 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:38,899 * TILL THE LIONS ARE OFF 311 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,267 * OF THEIR BACKS 312 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:46,239 * 313 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,149 - AFTER YOU. 314 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,985 - THANK YOU. 315 00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,053 - HEY. - HEY, WELCOME. 316 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:02,189 - HI. - STU. 317 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:05,058 - THANK YOU, CHARLIE. 318 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,860 - OKAY. YES. 319 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:08,461 - THIS IS PEGGY AND, PEGGY, 320 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:09,930 YOU REMEMBER MARCY? 321 00:12:09,963 --> 00:12:10,964 - HI, PEGGY. 322 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,934 PEGGY...OUR REAL ESTATE AGENT. 323 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,103 - IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, MARCY. 324 00:12:16,136 --> 00:12:17,905 WE'RE REALLY MORE LIKE BROTHER AND SISTER. 325 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:19,272 - OKAY. 326 00:12:19,306 --> 00:12:21,875 - THIS PLACE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. 327 00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:24,411 LET ME GUESS. 1956? 328 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,146 - OH, CLOSE. '57. 329 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,447 - I'D LOVE A TOUR. 330 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,982 - OH, BE A PLEASURE. 331 00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,450 LIKE THE GAL, RUNKLE. 332 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,820 SEEMS LIKE A KEEPER. [chuckles] 333 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,355 OVER HERE. 334 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,890 - OOH. - YEAH. 335 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,191 - [imitates gunshot] 336 00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,428 - YOU'RE DATING OUR REALTOR? 337 00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,063 - IF BY DATING, YOU MEAN ENTERING HER 338 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,331 ON A SEMI-REGULAR BASIS, THEN, YES. 339 00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,799 - DELIGHTFUL. 340 00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,936 I'M SO GLAD TO HEAR THE SLUT PARADE CONTINUES. 341 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,003 - WHAT? I DON'T DESERVE A LITTLE 342 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:51,071 POST-DIVORCE HAPPINESS? 343 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:52,472 EXCUSE ME. 344 00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:54,041 WE CAN'T ALL HAVE A RICH BOYFRIEND 345 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,175 WITH A LEGENDARY SCHLONG. 346 00:12:55,208 --> 00:12:57,177 - IS IT SERIOUS? 347 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,211 - WITH PEGGY? 348 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,479 WHO KNOWS? 349 00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,081 I'M TAKING IT DAY BY DAY. 350 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,883 WOULDN'T WANT TO RUSH INTO ANYTHING. 351 00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,417 I LIKES ME MY FREEDOM. 352 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:06,053 - WAS THAT A JAB AT ME? 353 00:13:06,086 --> 00:13:07,955 - A LITTLE ONE. 354 00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,189 I MEAN, THIS WHOLE BUSINESS WITH STU 355 00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:11,024 SORT OF CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, DON'T YOU THINK? 356 00:13:11,058 --> 00:13:12,559 - I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU TO TELL YOU, CHARLIE. 357 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,194 THE HEART WANTS. 358 00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,129 - WELL, THIS HEART WANTS FREEDOM FROM RESPONSIBILITY 359 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,530 AND AN ABUNDANCE OF STRANGE. 360 00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:21,468 THAT'S WHERE I'M AT. 361 00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:24,337 - OKAY, I'LL BE GETTING OUT OF YOUR HAIR. 362 00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,873 - THAT'S OKAY. 363 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,408 YOU COULD STAY THE WEEKEND. IT'S GOOD FOR BECCA. 364 00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:29,977 - YOU SURE? - YEAH. 365 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,444 I MEAN, THAT WAY WE GET TO MAKE SURE 366 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,013 THAT YOU GO TO COURT ON MONDAY. 367 00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,048 - YOU SEE THAT? YOU'RE ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ME. 368 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,884 - MM-HMM. - MUCH APPREESH. 369 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,518 WHY DON'T I MAKE YOU SOME DINNER? 370 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,253 - WELL, THERE'S AN EMPTY OFFER. YOU CAN'T COOK. 371 00:13:40,287 --> 00:13:41,621 - EXCUSE ME? 372 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,390 WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE SENSATION? 373 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,259 - A CORONARY IN A CASSEROLE DISH. 374 00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:47,260 - ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU GO AHEAD AND MAKE SOMETHING 375 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,596 ALL ORGANIC AND HEALTHY AND VEGETARIAN AND SHIT, 376 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,464 AND I'LL PICK OUT A MOVIE FOR US TO WATCH. 377 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:53,533 - I'M GOING OUT. 378 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:54,868 - OH. - MM-HMM. 379 00:13:54,902 --> 00:13:56,970 - OUT OUT? - I GUESS. 380 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,271 - LIKE OUT-ON-A-DATE OUT? 381 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:00,273 - UM, DINNER OUT. 382 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:01,608 - COOL HAND BEN? 383 00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:04,611 - WITH BEN, YES, AND IF YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME SHIT 384 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:06,146 ABOUT IT, YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW. 385 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:07,180 - NO, I WON'T. 386 00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,182 I HAVE GROWN A LOT SINCE BREAKFAST. 387 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:13,486 SO ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, OFFICIALLY DATING NOW? 388 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,956 - WE'RE NOT OFFICIALLY ANYTHING EXCEPT FRIENDS. 389 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,591 - FRIENDS WHO GO OUT TO DINNER ON A SATURDAY NIGHT 390 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:20,227 AND YOU'RE ALL GUSSIED UP. 391 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,495 BUT THAT DOESN'T QUITE DO IT JUSTICE, 392 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,997 'CAUSE YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL. 393 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,165 HE'S A LUCKY GUY. 394 00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,333 - THANK YOU. 395 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:29,036 - I WISH I WERE HIM. 396 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:30,971 AND NOT JUST BECAUSE I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE BLACK... 397 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,339 - [laughs] 398 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,241 - OR IT'D BE A NICE ESCAPE FROM BEING ME, 399 00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:37,610 WHICH IS GETTING PRETTY OLD RIGHT ABOUT NOW, 400 00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,247 BUT BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING 401 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,682 AND I WOULD KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR AND 402 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:45,185 IN THE TIME BETWEEN YOU ANSWERING, 403 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,587 I WOULD TRY TO IMAGINE WHAT YOU WERE GONNA LOOK LIKE. 404 00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:49,622 AND WHEN YOU DID, YOU'D BE, LIKE, 405 00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:51,491 TEN TIMES MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE. 406 00:14:51,524 --> 00:14:53,093 - STOP IT. 407 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,962 - AND I'D GET THIS FUNNY FEELING IN MY STOMACH 408 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,630 BECAUSE YOU'D LOOK AT ME WITH ALL THIS HOPE IN YOUR EYES 409 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:03,036 INSTEAD OF DISAPPOINTMENT, WHICH IS WHAT I SEE NOW. 410 00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,005 [knock on door] 411 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,310 YEAH, LIKE I SAID. 412 00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,980 LUCKY GUY. 413 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,214 - WHAT'S UP? 414 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:15,615 - BENJAMIN. 415 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,185 - HENRY. - NICE. 416 00:15:18,218 --> 00:15:19,219 PEARL, RESPECT. 417 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,020 - PAPA MOODY. 418 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:23,556 - YEAH, THAT STILL QUEERS ME OUT. 419 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,160 - SO, UM, WE SHOULDN'T BE, YOU KNOW, LATE. 420 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:29,229 - GO HAVE FUN, YOU KIDS. 421 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,663 I'LL KEEP AN EYE ON THESE RAPSCALLIONS. 422 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:33,133 - MAYBE THEY'D BE SAFER KEEPING AN EYE ON THEMSELVES. 423 00:15:33,166 --> 00:15:35,568 - ALL RIGHT, WELL, THEN THEY CAN KEEP AN EYE ON ME. 424 00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,637 HEY, YOU LADIES WANT TO DO ANYTHING? 425 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:41,408 WHO'S UP FOR A GAME OF HYPODERMIC NEEDLE DARTS? 426 00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:45,678 I SAID HYPODERMIC NEEDLE DARTS FOR THE CHILDREN. 427 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,747 GO ON, LADIES. 428 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,282 DIG IN. 429 00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,650 THIS STUFF WILL CLOG YOUR ARTERIES, 430 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:52,585 BUT IT'LL ALSO PUT HAIR ON YOUR CHEST. 431 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,454 YOU'LL THANK ME LATER. 432 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,556 - KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AN AUTOPSY. 433 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,159 - YES, BUT IT TASTES LIKE AMERICA. 434 00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:01,294 SO WHAT DO YOU FREAKS WANT TO DO? 435 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,063 DO YOU WANT TO CATCH A MOVIE OR SOMETHING? 436 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,631 YOU WANT TO GET YOUR HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ON? 437 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,099 - THOSE MOVIES ARE AWFUL, DAD. 438 00:16:06,133 --> 00:16:07,100 - YEAH, THANKS FOR TRYING, 439 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,369 BUT THAT'S NOT REALLY WHAT THE KIDS ARE INTO. 440 00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:10,570 - TELL ME WHAT THE KIDS ARE INTO. 441 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,640 TAKE ME TO SCHOOL, LADIES. 442 00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:15,075 - PRETTY MUCH GETTING FUCKED UP 443 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,243 AND SEARCHING THE NET FOR STUPID SHIT. 444 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,777 - THAT SOUND PRETTY GOOD. 445 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,646 THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MODERN EQUIVALENT 446 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,514 OF HANGING OUT IN FRONT OF THE 7-ELEVEN 447 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,682 AND WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, 448 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,084 WHICH I DID THE SHIT OUT OF IN MY YOUTH, 449 00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:27,120 BUT I CAN'T ENDORSE IN YOU YOUNGSTERS. 450 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:30,357 HOW ABOUT SOME, UH-- OOH, AMERICAN IDOL? 451 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,025 - DAD... - WHAT? 452 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:33,460 - DO WE LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF GIRLS 453 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:34,761 WHO ARE INTO AMERICAN IDOL? 454 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,629 - NO, NOT SO MUCH. 455 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:38,698 ACTUALLY, YOU LOOK LIKE GIRLS WHO WOULD HURT GIRLS 456 00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,100 WHO ARE INTO AMERICAN IDOL. 457 00:16:40,133 --> 00:16:42,069 - AWW, HE GETS US. 458 00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,637 - ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST GONNA HANG OUT AND WRITE A SONG. 459 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,374 - WOW. THAT SOUNDS TOTALLY COOL. 460 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,109 CAN I WATCH? - NO. 461 00:16:49,142 --> 00:16:50,243 - YEAH, THAT'S NOT COOL. 462 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:52,079 YOU CAN'T WRITE IN FRONT OF AN AUDIENCE. 463 00:16:52,112 --> 00:16:53,446 - OH. 464 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,382 - WE'LL PLAY IT FOR YOU WHEN WE'RE DONE. 465 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,251 - EXCELLENT. THAT'S A DEAL. 466 00:16:58,285 --> 00:16:59,252 [spits] 467 00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:02,789 [laughter] 468 00:17:02,822 --> 00:17:05,258 THIS IS NOT MY BEST BATCH. 469 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:06,693 - YEAH, IT KIND OF TASTES LIKE ASS. 470 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,562 - NOT THE GOOD KIND EITHER. 471 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:11,564 - [snoring] 472 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,485 [muffled giggles] 473 00:17:32,519 --> 00:17:33,653 - COME ON. LET'S GO. 474 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,522 - AND THAT, MY FRIENDS, 475 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,590 IS THE REAL REASON MIDNIGHT COWBOY 476 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,159 WAS GIVEN AN "X" RATING. 477 00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,727 - FASCINATING STUFF, STU. 478 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,195 YOU SHOULD REALLY WRITE A BOOK. 479 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,530 I COULD SELL THAT SHIT IN A HEARTBEAT. 480 00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:45,165 - NO, NO. ENOUGH ABOUT ME. 481 00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,468 I BELIEVE MY DEAR MARCY HAS SOMETHING 482 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:49,536 SHE WOULD LIKE TO SHARE. 483 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:50,737 - OH, NO. 484 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,539 TELL 'EM THE ONE ABOUT MARISA TOMEI 485 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,642 AND WHAT SHE REALLY DID TO GET THAT OSCAR. 486 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,377 - NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. ENOUGH ABOUT THE PAST. 487 00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:59,812 LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE. 488 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,315 THIS IS A NIGHT TO CELEBRATE BEGINNINGS. 489 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:04,684 DON'T YOU THINK, MARCY? 490 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:06,153 BEGINNINGS? 491 00:18:06,186 --> 00:18:08,188 - WOULD ANYBODY LIKE MORE WINE? 492 00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:09,222 - NO, NO. 493 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:10,257 - NO. 494 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,192 - OKAY. 495 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,165 AHEM. 496 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:20,133 LIFE IS A FUCKED UP THING. 497 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:23,136 SHIT HAPPENS. 498 00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,673 ONE DAY YOU'RE UP AND ANOTHER YOU'RE DOWN. 499 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:27,840 - MARCY? MARCY? - WHAT? 500 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,342 - THE WINE. - WHAT? 501 00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,577 - WINE. - HMM? 502 00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:32,312 - THE BABY! 503 00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:34,347 - JESUS! 504 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,920 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? 505 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,689 - APPARENTLY, I'M LOOKING AT A PREGNANT WOMAN. 506 00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:44,524 - I'M SO SORRY, MARCY. 507 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,294 - NO, IT'S FINE. OKAY, SO NOW YOU KNOW. 508 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,529 STU DONE KNOCKED ME UP. 509 00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,797 I AM INDEED WITH CHILD. 510 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,798 SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS. 511 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,400 - ARE YOU KEEPING IT? 512 00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,535 - WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? 513 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:56,536 WHAT? 514 00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:57,804 - OF COURSE WE'RE KEEPING IT. 515 00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:58,938 THE BEGGS' NAME WILL LIVE ON 516 00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:02,642 THANKS TO THE WELCOMING CONFINES OF MARCY'S BLESSED WOMB. 517 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,577 - HOW IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE? 518 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:06,813 - CHARLIE, WE WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW 519 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:08,281 BEFORE YOU FOUND OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE. 520 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,682 IT JUST SEEMED LIKE THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 521 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:11,218 - WELL, THAT WAS QUICK. 522 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,785 WHO KNEW YOU WERE SUCH A FERTILE MYRTLE, MARCE? 523 00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:14,821 - YOU DON'T SEEM EXACTLY HAPPY FOR US, CHARLIE. 524 00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,856 - ME? I'M ECSTATIC. 525 00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:19,659 WHY SHOULDN'T I BE HAPPY THAT MY EX-WIFE 526 00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,294 AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND OF SIX WEEKS 527 00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:22,429 ARE EXPECTING A CHILD? 528 00:19:22,462 --> 00:19:27,700 MAZEL-FUCKING-TOV. REALLY. 529 00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,770 [phone rings] 530 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,739 - [grunts] 531 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,947 HEY, BECCA, WILL YOU GET THAT? 532 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:42,915 BECCA? 533 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,857 HELLO? 534 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:55,562 [siren wails] 535 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,998 BECCA? BECCA? 536 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,967 BECCA. 537 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:11,311 YOU OKAY, PEARL? 538 00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,712 - PEARL! 539 00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,583 PEARL. 540 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,485 YOU OKAY? - BABY. 541 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:19,819 - YOU'RE OKAY? YOU SURE? 542 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:23,623 - [sighs] 543 00:20:23,656 --> 00:20:24,824 - WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? 544 00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:27,427 - THEY TOOK MY KEYS AND SNUCK OUT. 545 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,695 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE KEEPING AN EYE ON THEM. 546 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:29,862 - I DOZED. 547 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:30,963 - WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOZE 548 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,832 ON YOUR BREATH, RIGHT? 549 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,468 - WELL, I DETECT A FAINT HINT OF COCK ON YOUR BREATH, 550 00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:37,704 BUT I'M NOT GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT IT, AM I? 551 00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:39,806 - IT WAS OUR FAULT, OKAY? IT WAS OUR FAULT. 552 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,041 - WE WOULD HAVE TRIED THE SAME THING IF MY MOM WAS THERE. 553 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:44,043 - IT'S TRUE. THEY WOULD HAVE. 554 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,045 - YOU DEFENDING HIM NOW TOO? 555 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,980 - I'M NOT DEFENDING ANYONE. 556 00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,782 I'M JUST GLAD THEY'RE ALIVE. 557 00:20:49,816 --> 00:20:51,984 - LET'S GO, PEARL. 558 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,954 WE'RE GONNA GO HOME. 559 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,059 - HEY, AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 560 00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:02,061 ABOUT FIXING THAT HEADLIGHT ANYMORE. 561 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:05,965 - DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG? 562 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:08,701 - [scoffs] 563 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,670 - OKAY. 564 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:15,975 [sighs] 565 00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:17,577 - [sighs] 566 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,579 YOU STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR HER, DON'T YOU? 567 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,914 - THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE MAD ABOUT? 568 00:21:21,948 --> 00:21:23,416 - I SAW THE WAY YOU LOOKED AT HER 569 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:25,485 WHEN YOU FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT. 570 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:26,653 - LOOK? THERE WAS NO LOOK. 571 00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:29,822 I WAS--I WAS TAKEN ABACK, THAT'S ALL. 572 00:21:29,856 --> 00:21:32,759 - I CAN'T FUCK A MAN WHO'S IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER, CHARLIE. 573 00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,394 I CAN'T DO IT. 574 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:35,828 I WON'T DO IT. 575 00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:38,598 - PEGGY, MARCY AND I HAVE A LONG, 576 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:40,066 COMPLICATED HISTORY TOGETHER. 577 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:44,937 I CAN'T JUST TURN OFF MY EMOTIONS LIKE FLIPPING A SWITCH. 578 00:21:44,971 --> 00:21:46,105 - DO YOU WANT A CHILD, CHARLIE? 579 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:47,574 IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT? 580 00:21:47,607 --> 00:21:49,376 - NO! 581 00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:51,911 MAYBE. I--I DON'T KNOW. 582 00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:56,483 - YOU DISGUST ME RIGHT NOW, CHARLIE. 583 00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:57,484 - ARE YOU BARREN? 584 00:21:57,517 --> 00:22:00,487 - I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT. 585 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:02,722 - LOOK, PEGGY... 586 00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,057 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GONNA BE WITH YOU AND ME, 587 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:08,395 BUT MARCY WILL ALWAYS HAVE A PLACE IN MY HEART. 588 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:10,863 IF YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT, THEN I DON'T KNOW 589 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:14,801 IF THIS THING BETWEEN US CAN WORK OUT. 590 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,570 [both screaming] 591 00:22:17,604 --> 00:22:19,739 - OH, CHARLIE! OH, CHAR--CHARLIE! 592 00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:21,441 - JESUS CHRIST! - OH, CHARLIE, I'M SORRY. 593 00:22:21,474 --> 00:22:22,709 I DIDN'T MEAN TO, REALLY. - AH! 594 00:22:22,742 --> 00:22:24,877 - I DIDN'T MEAN TO. I'M SO SORRY. 595 00:22:24,911 --> 00:22:26,946 - WHAT THE FUCK, PEGGY? 596 00:22:26,979 --> 00:22:29,081 - I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER. 597 00:22:29,115 --> 00:22:31,684 LET ME MAKE IT NICE. 598 00:22:31,718 --> 00:22:35,988 YOU LET PEGGY MAKE THE PAIN GO BYE-BYE. 599 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,791 - OH, GOD. 600 00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,560 OH, GOD. 601 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:41,761 OH. OH. 602 00:22:41,794 --> 00:22:44,130 OH, GOD. - MMM. 603 00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:50,136 - YOU FORGET YOUR DESSERTS. 604 00:22:50,169 --> 00:22:53,573 I PUT PERFECT. 605 00:22:53,606 --> 00:22:56,476 - THANK YOU, IRMA. 606 00:22:56,509 --> 00:22:57,910 - MMM. 607 00:22:57,944 --> 00:22:59,446 - OH, GOD. 608 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:01,814 OH, GOD. 609 00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:04,016 - I'M WARNING YOU, 610 00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:07,119 TOMORROW, I'M GONNA BE PRETTY PISSED AT YOU. 611 00:23:07,153 --> 00:23:10,022 BUT, TONIGHT, I'M JUST HIGH-FIVING JESUS 612 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,724 THAT YOU'RE OKAY. 613 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:13,593 - I'M SORRY ABOUT THE CAR. 614 00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:14,727 - IT'S JUST A CAR. 615 00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:15,862 - YOU LOVE THAT CAR. 616 00:23:15,895 --> 00:23:18,197 - NO, I LOVE YOU. 617 00:23:18,230 --> 00:23:20,700 - I LOVE YOU TOO AND I'M SCARED. 618 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,502 - WHY? 619 00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:23,770 - I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE GUILTY. 620 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:26,573 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO LOOK AT YOU THAT WAY. 621 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:31,511 I WANT THEM TO KNOW HOW GREAT YOU CAN BE. 622 00:23:31,544 --> 00:23:33,112 - YOU SHOULDN'T BE THINKING ABOUT THAT. 623 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,114 THAT'S TOO MUCH FOR YOUR BRAIN. 624 00:23:35,147 --> 00:23:36,883 ALL YOU SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT IS BOYS 625 00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:39,686 AND ROCK AND ROLL AND STEALING YOUR OLD MAN'S CAR KEYS. 626 00:23:39,719 --> 00:23:43,690 BUT NOT ANYMORE, 'CAUSE I'LL CHOP YOUR HANDS OFF, OKAY? 627 00:23:43,723 --> 00:23:45,725 - IT WAS A NICE DAY, WASN'T IT? 628 00:23:45,758 --> 00:23:48,461 - IT WAS. IT WAS REALLY NICE. 629 00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:49,829 IT WAS A PERFECT DAY. 630 00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:52,064 - RIGHT UP UNTIL I RUINED IT. 631 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,467 - YOU DIDN'T RUIN ANYTHING. 632 00:23:54,501 --> 00:23:57,470 YOU JUST MADE A MISTAKE, A REALLY TERRIBLE MISTAKE. 633 00:23:57,504 --> 00:23:59,606 BUT WE ALL DO. 634 00:23:59,639 --> 00:24:00,707 LOOK AT ME. 635 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:03,209 I TAKE A BREATH, I MAKE A MISTAKE. 636 00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:08,681 THEN WE JUST GET UP AND SHOOT FOR ANOTHER PERFECT DAY. 637 00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:16,055 - I'M GOING TO BE THINKING GOOD THOUGHTS, DAD, ON MONDAY. 638 00:24:20,793 --> 00:24:23,763 - THANK YOU. 639 00:24:39,812 --> 00:24:42,615 HOW THE FUCK DID WE GET HERE? 640 00:24:42,649 --> 00:24:45,284 - I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S YOUR FAULT. 641 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,086 - OH, UNDOUBTEDLY. 642 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:50,022 I AM CURRENTLY ACCEPTING BLAME FOR EVERYTHING. 643 00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:53,292 VOLCANOES, EARTHQUAKES, OIL SPILLS... 644 00:24:53,325 --> 00:24:56,963 STEROIDS, RAP MUSIC. 645 00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,230 IT'S ALL MY FAULT. 646 00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:00,967 - YOU TRICKED ME, YOU KNOW? 647 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,537 YOU TRICKED ME. 648 00:25:04,571 --> 00:25:06,639 I WOULD HEAR THE DOORBELL RING AND I WOULD GO 649 00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:10,276 RUNNING TOWARDS IT AND... 650 00:25:10,309 --> 00:25:12,979 I'D BE THINKING, "I DON'T EVEN LIKE THIS GUY. 651 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:15,582 THIS IS JUST SOME STUPID FLING." 652 00:25:15,615 --> 00:25:19,752 AND THEN I'D OPEN THE DOOR AND ALL THOSE THOUGHTS 653 00:25:19,786 --> 00:25:23,556 DISAPPEARED BECAUSE... 654 00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:26,192 I'D SEE YOUR SMILE AND I WAS A GONER. 655 00:25:29,762 --> 00:25:31,964 I TRUSTED THAT SMILE. 656 00:25:31,998 --> 00:25:35,768 - HE WAS A GOOD GUY, THAT SMILE. 657 00:25:35,802 --> 00:25:38,137 I DON'T SEE HIM MUCH AROUND ANYMORE. 658 00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:40,272 I MISS HIM. 659 00:25:40,306 --> 00:25:41,874 - IT'S SO STRANGE. 660 00:25:41,908 --> 00:25:45,144 JUST CHANGED SO FAST. 661 00:25:45,177 --> 00:25:46,779 ONCE, YOU WERE MY FUTURE. 662 00:25:46,813 --> 00:25:50,282 THEN YOU WERE MY...MISERY. 663 00:25:50,316 --> 00:25:51,784 - HMM. NICE. 664 00:25:51,818 --> 00:25:53,720 - AND NOW YOU'RE ALMOST MY PAST. 665 00:25:53,753 --> 00:25:56,856 - ALMOST. 666 00:25:56,889 --> 00:25:58,290 - WELL, I'M TRYING. 667 00:25:58,324 --> 00:25:59,258 - WELL, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 668 00:25:59,291 --> 00:26:03,295 I'LL ALWAYS BE BUZZING AROUND LIKE A GNAT. 669 00:26:03,329 --> 00:26:09,268 LIKE A WELL-HUNG GNAT... WITH A DREAM. 670 00:26:09,301 --> 00:26:12,739 - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 671 00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:14,974 - YEAH. 672 00:26:15,007 --> 00:26:17,977 I THINK I DO KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN 673 00:26:18,010 --> 00:26:21,280 AND I KIND OF HATE THAT I DO. 674 00:26:21,313 --> 00:26:23,115 - ARE YOU READY FOR MONDAY? 675 00:26:23,149 --> 00:26:24,651 - I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT MONDAY. 676 00:26:24,684 --> 00:26:26,753 I JUST WANT TO THINK ABOUT TODAY. 677 00:26:26,786 --> 00:26:28,755 - WELL, TODAY'S GONE. 678 00:26:28,788 --> 00:26:30,823 IT'S TOMORROW ALREADY. 679 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:33,960 IN A COUPLE HOURS, WE'LL GET UP. 680 00:26:33,993 --> 00:26:37,296 WE'LL DRINK SOME COFFEE, READ THE PAPER, 681 00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:41,333 LAUGH AT ALL YOUR JOKES... 682 00:26:41,367 --> 00:26:44,270 AND TRY TO FORGET THAT THE NEXT DAY ISN'T MONDAY. 683 00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:46,005 AND THEN MONDAY WILL COME 684 00:26:46,038 --> 00:26:51,678 AND WE'LL TAKE BECCA TO SCHOOL. 685 00:26:51,711 --> 00:26:55,214 THEN I'LL TAKE YOU TO COURT... 686 00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:56,716 SO THAT YOU CAN STAND TRIAL 687 00:26:56,749 --> 00:27:01,420 FOR RAPING A TEENAGE GIRL. 688 00:27:01,453 --> 00:27:03,856 BECAUSE THAT IS THE REALITY OF OUR LIVES RIGHT NOW. 689 00:27:08,127 --> 00:27:12,064 I DON'T KNOW HOW WE GOT HERE... 690 00:27:14,867 --> 00:27:17,904 BUT THIS IS WHERE WE ARE. 691 00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:20,873 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com