1 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,310 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,545 - IT'S YO AGENT, CALLING FROM THE COAST, 3 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,814 WITH THE PROSPECT OF A SIGNIFICANT PAYDAY. 4 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,049 - I'LL TAKE IT. 5 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,585 - [gasps] - OH, SHIT. 6 00:00:17,618 --> 00:00:18,786 MAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS? 7 00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:20,621 I END UP NEXT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN 8 00:00:20,654 --> 00:00:25,126 IN THE TRI-STATE AREA, AND I GO AND SPILL A DRINK IN HER LAP. 9 00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:28,296 - GUESS WE SHOULDN'T RUIN IT BY KEEPING IN TOUCH OR ANYTHING. 10 00:00:28,329 --> 00:00:30,731 - ALAS, THIS ONE'S NOT YOUR LADY ANYMORE, HANK. 11 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,366 - HE'S LIKE YOU... - BATES. 12 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:33,634 - BUT AWESOME. 13 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,503 - HOW'S BECCA? - BOYFRIEND. 14 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,138 NOW, I WANT TO KILL HIM, HANK. 15 00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:38,206 - WE'RE KEEPING IT SIMPLE. 16 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,773 I COME IN PEACE, OKAY? 17 00:00:39,807 --> 00:00:41,775 - THE KID'S A LOATHSOME FUCKIN' ASSHOLE. 18 00:00:41,809 --> 00:00:45,746 - GREAT SEEING YOU, DAD. ALWAYS A PLEASURE. 19 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:48,849 - HE WANTS HANK TO COME TO HIM. - WHO THE FUCK IS "HE"? 20 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,551 - SAMURAI APOCALYPSE. 21 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,253 - I NEED YOUR WORDS. 22 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:54,155 WHAT THE FUCK ELSE YOU GONNA DO, WRITE ANOTHER BOOK? 23 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:56,757 FUCK THAT, LET'S GET PAID, MOTHERFUCKER. 24 00:00:56,790 --> 00:01:00,594 MOODY, THIS IS KALI. REMEMBER THIS NAME, KALI, YO. 25 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,870 [sexy rock music] 26 00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:17,578 * 27 00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:19,213 - OH, MY WORD. 28 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:22,583 I DON'T THINK THIS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 29 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:24,285 - WHY? 30 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,787 WAS I DOING SOMETHING WRONG? 31 00:01:26,820 --> 00:01:29,290 - OH, NO, NO, NO. THAT WAS WORLD CLASS. 32 00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:30,891 - [laughs] - SOME GIRLS ARE TIMID 33 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,294 AND LACK FOCUS, BUT YOU, 34 00:01:33,327 --> 00:01:34,862 YOU SHOULD BE IN PORN. 35 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,464 - HMM? 36 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,666 - BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO BE. 37 00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:42,303 YOU ARE NOT TAKING THIS IN THE SPIRIT IN WHICH IT WAS INTENDED. 38 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:44,738 - MM-MMM. 39 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:45,706 MMM. 40 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,311 - ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN. 41 00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:51,879 - NO, ALLOW ME, MOTHERFUCKER! 42 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:53,581 - [screams] 43 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:54,682 - DIE! 44 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,484 DIE, MOTHERFUCKER! 45 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:57,885 YAAAAH! 46 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:02,623 - [grunts] 47 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,292 - WHOO! - [sighs] 48 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:07,161 CHARLIE, THANK GOD. 49 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,796 [sighs] 50 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:10,864 YOU WEREN'T JUST BLOWIN' ME RIGHT NOW, WERE YOU? 51 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,767 - NO, SIRREE, I MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT. 52 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,570 - NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT? - NO. NO. 53 00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,872 YOUR MAGIC JOHNSON WAS NOWHERE NEAR MY ORAL CAVITY. 54 00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,941 I DID JUST BEAT OFF IN THE SHOWER, THOUGH. 55 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,245 YEAH. I EVEN GOT A LITTLE CUM ON MY FOOT, RIGHT HERE. 56 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:27,381 DON'T WORRY, WASHED RIGHT OFF. 57 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:30,351 - YOU ARE A FUCKIN' ANIMAL, YOU KNOW THAT? 58 00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:33,854 GODDAMN L.A. 59 00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:36,757 I ONLY HAVE DREAMS LIKE THIS WHEN I'M HERE. 60 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:40,794 - HEY, NOW. YOU RELAX. 61 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,696 HAVE YOURSELF A CUP OF BLACK GOLD. 62 00:02:42,730 --> 00:02:44,232 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT WE'LL DO? 63 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:47,601 WE WILL--WE WILL TAKE A WALK ALONG THE BEACH, 64 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:50,871 WE'LL GAZE UPON SOME FOXY MALIBU HARD BODIES. 65 00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,740 - FUCK THAT SHIT. 66 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:56,310 CAN YOU GET ME ON A PLANE BACK TO NEW YORK TONIGHT, PLEASE? 67 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,378 - WHAT ABOUT SAMURAI APOCALYPSE? 68 00:02:57,411 --> 00:02:58,512 - WHAT ABOUT HIM? 69 00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:00,948 - HE WANTS YOU, AND ONLY YOU. 70 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,751 HE LOVES YOUR BLACK ASS. 71 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,554 - WELL, IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HAVE ONE'S BLACK ASS WANTED, 72 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:09,490 BUT I'M NOT SURE IF THE FEELINGS ARE RECIPROCATED. 73 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,493 - WELL, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM. 74 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,795 - THAT'S YOUR JOB, AGENT. 75 00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:17,465 - HE IS A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT, HANK. 76 00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:19,933 THIS NEEDS TO BE FINESSED. - AND IF IT ISN'T? 77 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:22,603 - THEN I WILL BE VERY UPSET WITH YOU. 78 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:23,871 - [sighs] 79 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:27,841 AND WHAT WOULD THAT ENTAIL, EXACTLY? 80 00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,643 - I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY. - [laughs] 81 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:30,978 - BUT IT WILL PROBABLY INVOLVE 82 00:03:31,011 --> 00:03:32,846 NOT RETURNING YOUR CALLS IN A TIMELY MANNER. 83 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,783 - [laughing] OH, NO. [cell phone tune] 84 00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:39,720 AW, FUCK. 85 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,921 YO-LA. 86 00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,956 - BECCA IS REALLY UPSET WITH YOU. 87 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,793 - YEAH, THAT'S SORT OF A TRENDING TOPIC RIGHT NOW. 88 00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,495 - I JUST THINK YOU SHOULD TRY AND MAKE IT UP TO HER 89 00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,962 BEFORE YOU LEAVE TOWN. 90 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,499 - WHITE WOMAN, PLEASE. SHE'LL THANK ME LATER. 91 00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:53,367 - MAYBE, BUT YOU KNOW, IN THE MEANTIME, 92 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,968 YOU COULD KISS AND MAKE NICE. 93 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:55,969 [laughing] SHE'S YOUR ONLY DAUGHTER. 94 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:56,970 - OH, THANK GOD. 95 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,439 WHAT? - [laughs] 96 00:03:58,472 --> 00:03:59,773 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' OVER THERE? 97 00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:00,808 ARE YOU AND BATES PLAYIN' GRAB-ASS? 98 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,310 - STOP. - WOMAN-- 99 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:03,311 - [laughing] STOP. - BE A PROFESSIONAL, 100 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,878 FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. 101 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:09,016 DOES--D-D-DOES BECCA NEED AN IPAD OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 102 00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,017 - WHAT? - BYE, HANK. 103 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:11,585 - KA-- 104 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:13,020 CHARLIE, CAN YOU GET ME AN IPAD? 105 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:15,856 - MOST CERTAINLY, IF YOU SIT DOWN WITH THE SAMURAI. 106 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,492 - YOU'RE A REAL TWATTY FUCKIN' CUNT, YOU KNOW THAT? 107 00:04:18,526 --> 00:04:20,294 - TWAT? TWAT? I CUNT HEAR YOU. 108 00:04:20,328 --> 00:04:21,595 I'VE GOT AN EAR IN-FUCK-TION. 109 00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,830 I'LL FINGER IT OUT LATER. 110 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,432 - YOU STILL GOT SOME CUM ON YOUR FOOT. 111 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:25,933 MADE YOU LOOK. 112 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,301 [mouth click] 113 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,874 [upbeat music] 114 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:41,849 * 115 00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:17,418 [hard rock music] 116 00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:25,393 * 117 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:32,433 - OH, AH, AH, AH, AH. BECCA MOODY. 118 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,868 TA-DA! [whistles] 119 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:37,971 - TA-DA. 120 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,107 - OH, YOU HAVE ONE ALREADY? 121 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,775 - I'M NOT 12. YOU CAN'T BRIBE ME ANYMORE. 122 00:05:41,809 --> 00:05:43,477 WELL, YOU CAN, 123 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:46,714 BUT YOU HAVE TO ADJUST FOR LIFESTYLE AND INFLATION. 124 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,016 - I AM NOT TRYIN' TO BRIBE YOU, SWEETIE. 125 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:51,385 I'M JUST TRYIN' TO WEAKEN YOUR STEELY RESOLVE 126 00:05:51,419 --> 00:05:52,586 TO HATE THE OLD MAN. 127 00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,755 - I DON'T HATE YOU. 128 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,957 I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED THAT YOU DON'T TRUST ME, 129 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,494 AND THAT YOU CAN'T PUT ASIDE ALL YOUR PETTY JUDGMENTAL BULLSHIT 130 00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,129 FOR THE DURATION OF ONE SIMPLE DINNER. 131 00:06:02,162 --> 00:06:04,632 - THAT'S FAIR. [sniffs] 132 00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:06,166 BUT HE WAS KIND OF A TOOL. 133 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,801 - THIS IS HOW YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY? 134 00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:09,470 - [sighs] YOU'RE RIGHT. 135 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:11,505 LET'S--LET'S SWITCH GEARS. - [laughs] 136 00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,874 - WHAT? 137 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:15,576 - MMM. 138 00:06:17,044 --> 00:06:18,679 WHAT, YOU DON'T WANT TO MAN-POUND? 139 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,415 - NOT REALLY. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PUT IT THAT WAY. 140 00:06:21,449 --> 00:06:22,983 - OKAY, FINE, BE THAT WAY, DUDE. 141 00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,118 - WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? - I GO HERE. 142 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:26,787 - AREN'T YOU A LITTLE OLD FOR COLLEGE? 143 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,922 WHAT ARE YOU, ON THE SIX-YEAR PLAN, STEPHEN HAWKING? 144 00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,691 - IT'S CALLED GRAD SCHOOL. I'M A T.A. 145 00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,159 - IT'S HOW WE MET. - MM-HMM. 146 00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:33,794 - HEY, THAT'S AGAINST THE RULES. 147 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,663 - DAD, DURING YOUR TENURE AS A COLLEGE PROFESSOR, 148 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,064 YOU SLEPT WITH YOUR T.A., 149 00:06:37,097 --> 00:06:40,100 THE DEAN'S WIFE, AND ONE OF YOUR STUDENTS. 150 00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:41,569 SHE WAS A STRIPPER, TOO. 151 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,505 - WAY TO GO, HANK. UP HIGH. 152 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:45,806 - IF YOU MUST KNOW, 153 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:47,107 THAT WAS A PARTICULARLY TOUGH TIME FOR ME. 154 00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,809 I WAS NOT WELL. - MM-HMM. 155 00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,912 - [sniffs] AND I HAVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKES. 156 00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,814 THIS IS NOT GOING AS I HAD HOPED. 157 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:56,717 - IPAD 2? VERY NICE. 158 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,951 - HE TRIED TO BRIBE ME WITH IT. 159 00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,554 - YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE. - THAT SHE DOES. 160 00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,690 - WELL, I DON'T ALREADY HAVE ONE. 161 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,566 [gasps] WOW. 162 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,967 THANKS, HANK. 163 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:14,968 YOU'RE REALLY STARTIN' TO GROW ON ME. 164 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,236 PINK, THOUGH? 165 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,171 IS THAT-- WHATEVER, I'LL TAKE IT. 166 00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:19,607 - [laughs] 167 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,709 - MMM. [laughs] 168 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:25,579 - PUT MY DAUGHTER BACK ON THE GROUND, PLEASE. 169 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:28,582 [rock music] 170 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:34,588 * 171 00:07:34,622 --> 00:07:36,490 FREDO, HOW'S IT HANGING? 172 00:07:36,524 --> 00:07:40,260 - OH, QUITE LOW, SIR. 173 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,095 IS THE MASTER EXPECTING YOU? 174 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,864 - NO, THIS IS MORE OF A COLD CALL. 175 00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:46,700 - OH, DO PLEASE COME IN, SIR. - THANK YOU. 176 00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,512 HEY. 177 00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,947 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? 178 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,149 - I MIGHT ASK YOU THE VERY SAME QUESTION. 179 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:03,984 - IT'S COMPLICATED. 180 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,586 - I'M GUESSING HE DOESN'T KNOW WE'RE MARRIED. 181 00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:07,521 - [laughs] YOU'RE FUNNY. 182 00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,022 - AND WE JUST MADE OUT... ON A PLANE. 183 00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:12,860 WE WERE UP IN THE AIR. WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 184 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,128 - YOU KNOW, HE HAS GUNS, 185 00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,532 AND SAMURAI SWORDS. 186 00:08:18,566 --> 00:08:20,734 - I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT. 187 00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,035 - REALLY? 188 00:08:22,069 --> 00:08:24,271 - MM-HMM. YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 189 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:27,608 THAT LITTLE HIGH SCHOOL MAKE OUT SESSION OF OURS, 190 00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,877 I CAN'T STOP THINKIN' ABOUT IT. 191 00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:30,878 YOU? 192 00:08:30,911 --> 00:08:32,846 - NEVER. 193 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,815 EVER. - HMM. 194 00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:39,052 YOU HAVE EXTREMELY MOIST LIPS. THEY'RE LIKE KISSABLE CUPCAKES. 195 00:08:39,086 --> 00:08:40,854 IT'S AS IF SPRINKLES AND CRUMBS GOT TOGETHER... 196 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,656 - [laughs] - AND MADE SWEET LOVE 197 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:48,596 AND HAD THESE DELICIOUS LITTLE SMOOCHABLE CUPCAKE BABIES. 198 00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:49,930 - HANK MOODY! 199 00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:51,865 'SUP, NIGGA? [laughs] 200 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,667 BETTER NOT BE HITTIN' ON MY GIRL. 201 00:08:53,701 --> 00:08:56,303 - I'M NOT YOUR GIRL, CALVIN. - OOH, CALVIN? 202 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,906 - JUST PLAYIN', BABY. WHAT YOU DOIN' HERE, MAN? 203 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,641 YOU SHOULD BE IN STARBUCKS WRITIN' ME SOME FUNNY SHIT, 204 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,610 SOME FUNNY, QUOTABLE SHIT, TOO, NIGGA. 205 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,245 - YEAH, UH, THAT'S THE THING. I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT. 206 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,847 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, MAN? 207 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,682 WHAT, THEY AIN'T PAYIN' YOU ENOUGH? 208 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:09,817 - NO, NO, IT-IT'S NOT THE MONEY. I JUST DON'T WANT TO. 209 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,318 - WHY, BECAUSE I'M BLACK? 210 00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:12,786 - NO, IT'S NOT 'CAUSE YOU'RE BLACK. 211 00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:14,254 I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU'RE BLACK. 212 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,956 - WHAT, IT'S BECAUSE I GOT A WHITE BUTLER? 213 00:09:15,989 --> 00:09:17,290 - NO, I LOVE THE FACT THAT YOU GOT A WHITE BUTLER. 214 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,759 ALFRED IS AWESOME. 215 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,160 - OH, THANK YOU, SIR. - RESPECT. 216 00:09:20,193 --> 00:09:21,795 - OH, THIS IS BECAUSE YOU HATE HIP-HOP, RIGHT? 217 00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:22,863 - NO! WELL, YEAH, I DO HATE HIP-HOP, 218 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,665 BUT THAT'S NOT WHY. 219 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:25,833 - OH, YOU'RE JUST MAD 'CAUSE I BE DEALIN' 220 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:27,267 WITH THAT CRAZY-ASS PUSSY, HUH? 221 00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,903 - NO, I FUCKED ALL SORTS OF CRAZY PUSSY, TOO. 222 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,271 - NIGGA, YOU DON'T BE FUCKIN' THE KINDA CRAZY PUSSY 223 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,240 I BE FUCKIN'. TELL HIM, ALFRED. 224 00:09:33,273 --> 00:09:35,743 - NIGGER, YOU DON'T BE FUCKIN' THE SAME KIND OF CRAZY PUSSY 225 00:09:35,776 --> 00:09:37,077 AS HE BE FUCKIN', SIR. 226 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,780 - YOU'D BE SURPRISED, BOTH OF YOU. 227 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,815 - YEAH, RIGHT, LIKE THIS FINE-ASS BITCH RIGHT HERE. 228 00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:43,316 - WILL YOU STOP CALLIN' ME A FUCKIN' BITCH, PLEASE? 229 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,118 - COME ON, MAMA, JUST PEACOCKIN', BABY. 230 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,921 - SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. TRUE DAT. 231 00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,890 - WHAT'S WITH THE USE OF ALL THIS URBAN PATOIS, MAN? 232 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,925 - HEY, IT'S THE A-B-Cs OF ME, BABY. 233 00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,326 - [scoffs] 234 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,129 AW, FUCK. YO, I GOTTA BE SOMEWHERE, MAN. 235 00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:57,698 COME WITH ME, YO. 236 00:09:57,731 --> 00:09:59,132 GIMME ONE DAY AND I'M GONNA SHOW YOU 237 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,101 WHY YOU WANT TO BE IN THE APOCALYPSE BUSINESS, MAN. 238 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,736 [school bell rings] 239 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:03,971 - HE DID WHAT? 240 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,806 - ARE YOU GONNA MAKE HER REPEAT IT? 241 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,374 - I NEED TO UNDERSTAND. 242 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:09,209 - YOU'RE SAYING HE TOOK IT OUT. 243 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,778 - HE TOOK HIS PENIS OUT, 244 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,080 AND HE WAS MASTURBATING IN FRONT OF AVA. 245 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,682 - [laughs] - WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 246 00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:17,250 MASTURBATING? - [laughing] POOR LITTLE AVA. 247 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,853 SHE'S SO CUTE, BUT SHE'S A LITTLE TWEAKED, THOUGH, RIGHT? 248 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,689 YOU GOTTA ADMIT. - YOU CAN'T EVEN CALL IT 249 00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:23,190 MASTURBATION, I MEAN, HE'S-- HE'S BARELY THREE. 250 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:24,424 - CAN YOU COVER THAT-- COVER IT UP. 251 00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,093 - WELL, HIS PENIS WAS FULLY ERECT, 252 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,961 AND HE WAS MANIPULATING IT. 253 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,863 - SOUNDS LIKE HE WAS EXPERIMENTING. 254 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,232 OR MAYBE HE JUST INTENDED TO BE FUNNY. 255 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,134 YOU KNOW, BRING A LITTLE SUNSHINE INTO HER DAY. 256 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:37,070 - I BLAME YOU, CHARLIE. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON. 257 00:10:37,104 --> 00:10:38,806 - OH, YEAH, RIGHT, THE DAY YOU-- 258 00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,407 - CHARLIE, MARCY, THIS IS NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE 259 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,909 FOR THE BLAME GAME. 260 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,712 - HOW CAN WE REPAIR THIS? 261 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:45,879 - AVA'S MOTHER WAS HORRIFIED. 262 00:10:45,913 --> 00:10:47,447 - SURE. - OH, IT'S TERRIBLE. 263 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,082 - AND, SHE'S THREATENING TO PULL HER OUT OF SCHOOL. 264 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,450 - [gasps] - THAT WOULD BE BAD. 265 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,052 - WE'D RATHER THAT NOT HAPPEN, SO... 266 00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:54,121 PERHAPS AN APOLOGY. 267 00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,990 - HOW ABOUT A SIZABLE DONATION? 268 00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,759 - WELL, THAT WOULD BE HELPFUL AS WELL. 269 00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,060 - DONE. - I'M SURE. 270 00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:01,128 - THANK YOU. - [mumbling] VERY HELPFUL. 271 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,396 - NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME. 272 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:09,202 - GREAT. YOU WRITE THE CHECK. I'LL PRESS THE FLESH. 273 00:11:09,236 --> 00:11:10,203 - COME ON, WE HAVE THE NANNY INTERVIEWS. 274 00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:11,438 - I KNOW, I KNOW. 275 00:11:11,471 --> 00:11:13,273 - WHAT HAPPENED TO IRMA? "I PUT PERFECT." 276 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,942 - MARCY GAVE HER THE AXE. 277 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:16,276 - [blows air] - WHAT? 278 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:18,311 - INVOLVE THE FATHER, MAYBE? 279 00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:20,814 - ARE YOU GONNA BE PAYING THEIR SALARY? 280 00:11:20,848 --> 00:11:22,482 - NO, BUT SHE'S GONNA SPEND A LOT OF TIME AROUND MY SON, 281 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,151 AND I SHOULD BE GIVEN MEANINGFUL CONSULTATION. 282 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,819 - FINE. FINE. WE'LL NARROW IT DOWN. 283 00:11:25,853 --> 00:11:27,120 WE'LL BRING YOU IN FOR CALL-BACKS, OKAY? 284 00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:29,857 - STUART! - RIGHT, I'M COMING. 285 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,459 [RZA's 2 Left Shoes] 286 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:34,361 * 287 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,797 - * I LOVE MY NIGGAS TO DEATH DOWN TO THE LAST BREATH * 288 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:39,199 * BUT THE LAST BREATH, I'MA SAVE FOR MYSELF * 289 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:42,469 WHAT THE FUCK? DON'T MESS WITH MY MUSIC, MAN. 290 00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,004 THAT'S MY SHIT, MOTHERFUCKER. THAT'S ME. 291 00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,472 - ALL RIGHT, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? 292 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,240 THAT COULD BE RUN D.M.C., FOR ALL RIGHT I KNOW. 293 00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,209 - MAN, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT HIP-HOP, DO YOU? 294 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,511 - NO, I'M MORE OF A CLASSIC ROCK GUY, YOU KNOW, 295 00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:52,780 ZEPPELIN, THE WHO, ZEVON... 296 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,214 - OH! 297 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,283 - AIR SUPPLY. - OH, NO. 298 00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,318 ALL THAT FUCKIN' DINOSAUR SHIT SOUND THE SAME TO ME. 299 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,188 - SEE, THIS IS A REAL EBONY AND IVORY MOMENT HERE. 300 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,457 WE HATE EACH OTHER'S MUSIC, WHICH MAKES US DIFFERENT, 301 00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:05,959 BUT KINDA THE SAME. 302 00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,494 - [scoffs] UH, HUH. - FEEL ME? 303 00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,830 - YEAH, I FEEL YOU. - WANT A MAN POUND? 304 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:11,264 - NO. - LITTLE DAP? 305 00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,900 - [laughs] - GONNA LEAVE ME HANGIN'? 306 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,502 - HANG, MOTHERFUCKER. - OH, NOW THIS I LIKE. 307 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,104 - OH, THAT'S KALI, MAN. 308 00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,539 FUCKIN' VOICE OF AN ANGEL. [kiss] 309 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:22,375 - CHURCH. - I TELL YOU SOMETHING, MOODY. 310 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:24,511 I BEEN AROUND THE WORLD, MAN, I RAILED MANY BITCHES, MAN, 311 00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:27,447 BUT THIS ONE RIGHT HERE, SHE'S SOMETHIN' SPECIAL, MAN. 312 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,484 I THINK SHE GONNA BE A BIG STAR. 313 00:12:31,518 --> 00:12:33,987 - THIS CAR IS GIVIN' ME THE FUCKIN' CREEPS. 314 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:36,389 I FEEL LIKE WE'RE ABOUT TO ROLL INTO THE WARSAW GHETTO. 315 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:38,258 - OH, SHIT, I AIN'T NEVER BEEN THERE. 316 00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:41,028 HOW THE FUCK IS THE FOOD? 317 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,896 - SCARCE. - [scoffs] 318 00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,398 - * JUST SO I CAN MAINTAIN 319 00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,334 * HE'S LIVIN' FOR HIS LIFE, AND IN TWO LEFT SHOES * 320 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:50,537 * LIVIN' FOR HIS LIFE, AND IN TWO LEFT SHOES * 321 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,205 - WHAT ARE WE DOIN' HERE? 322 00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:56,376 - BIG HOLLYWOOD MEETIN', MAN. LOOK ALIVE. 323 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:59,579 - PETE BERG. - HEY, HEY, SAM. 324 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,414 SSS, SSS! 325 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:04,117 LOOKIN' GOOD, MAN. CONCRETE, CONCRETE, BABY. 326 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,554 - HANK MOODY, WRITER/RAPIST. 327 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,356 - WHAT'S UP? 328 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,424 - HOW YOU DOIN'? GOOD TO MEET YOU. 329 00:13:11,458 --> 00:13:13,961 - UH, ACTUALLY I THINK WE KNOW SOME OF THE SAME PEOPLE. 330 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,996 IN FACT, I ACTUALLY THINK WE'VE BEEN 331 00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:18,431 INSIDE SOME OF THE SAME PEOPLE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. 332 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,000 - YEAH, I THINK I DO KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, 333 00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:21,534 AND I THINK IT'S CREEPIN' ME OUT. 334 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:24,004 - YEAH, WELL, UH, WE GOT A MEETIN', SO, SEE YA. 335 00:13:24,037 --> 00:13:25,238 - ALL RIGHT, COOL. I'LL BE AT THE BAR. 336 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,207 - NO, NO. HOLD ON, WHOA, HOLD ON. 337 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,076 NAH, HE'S WITH ME, YO. HE'S GONNA BE WRITIN' MY SHIT. 338 00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,343 - OH, COME ON. 339 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,612 NO WAY, MAN. I MEAN, NO DISRESPECT. 340 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,582 SAM, I JUST DID A SERIOUS REWRITE ON THE SCRIPT, I MEAN-- 341 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:36,984 - YEAH, BUT THE SHIT AIN'T CRACKIN', MAN. 342 00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,151 I NEED MY SHIT TO CRACKLE, MAN. 343 00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,152 WHAT'S THE CATCHPHRASE? 344 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,054 - CATCHPHRASE? UH... 345 00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,589 KILLIN' BAD GUYS IS MY BUSINESS, 346 00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,425 AND BUSINESS IS FUCKIN' CRACKIN'. 347 00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,427 - KILLIN' BAD GUYS... - BAD GUYS IS MY...BUSINESS... 348 00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:48,528 both: AND BUSINESS IS... - FUCKIN' CRACKIN'. 349 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,897 - BUSINESS IS-- - NAH. 350 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,098 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, MAN. 351 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:53,100 - YOU KNOW WHAT? - ...CRACKIN'. 352 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,568 - I'M GONNA GO DROP SOME HEAT. Y'ALL CHOP IT UP, A'IGHT? 353 00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:58,038 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN'? WHAT IS THIS? 354 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,272 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 355 00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,208 - WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY IN MY SHIT? 356 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:03,176 - I DON'T WANT TO BE. I'M TRYIN' TO PASS. 357 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:04,444 THIS GUY WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 358 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,447 - YOU ARE A MIDDLE-AGED WHITE GUY. 359 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,449 WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLACK CULTURE? 360 00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,352 - ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN', BUT YOU'RE MAKIN' SANTA MONICA COP? 361 00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:14,087 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BLACK CULTURE? 362 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:15,889 - THE CHARACTER WAS ORIGINALLY FROM COMPTON, GET IT? 363 00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,357 - [laughing] WHATEVER, DUDE. - YOU EVER BEEN TO COMPTON? 364 00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,926 - GO MAKE YOUR MOVIE. I'M NO THREAT TO YOU. 365 00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,060 - OH REALLY? YOU'RE NO THREAT TO ME? 366 00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:21,061 YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? - YEAH. 367 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,930 - SURE? - GO. 368 00:14:22,963 --> 00:14:24,031 - WHAT ABOUT MICHELLE? 369 00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:25,933 - MICHELLE? 370 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:28,201 - GIRL YOU FUCKED WHILE I WAS STILL GOIN' OUT WITH HER. 371 00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:30,137 - OH, OKAY. - OH, UH-HUH. 372 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,505 - I--I'M SORRY, I HAD-- I HAD NO IDEA. 373 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,141 - YEAH, WELL, SHE FOUND OUT 374 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,943 I WAS FUCKIN' AROUND ON HER A LITTLE BIT. 375 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,310 WE HAD A LITTLE FIGHT. - MM-HMM. 376 00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,645 - SHE WENT TO A BAR IN VENICE. 377 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,313 SHE MET YOU, SHE FUCKED YOU, 378 00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:43,150 SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT IN A FUCKING EMAIL. 379 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:44,517 A VERY DESCRIPTIVE FUCKING EMAIL, 380 00:14:44,551 --> 00:14:46,119 WHICH ACTUALLY I STILL HAVE. 381 00:14:46,153 --> 00:14:47,454 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO READ IT TO YOU? 382 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,222 - NO! I THINK THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA. 383 00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,124 - YOU SURE? - WELL, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, 384 00:14:51,158 --> 00:14:53,260 IT MIGHT BE KIND OF AN INTERESTING TIME CAPSULE FOR ME. 385 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,295 YOU KNOW, LIKE A STROLL DOWN MEMORY--NO, ACTUALLY, NO. 386 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:56,930 DON'T, I'M GOOD. ALL RIGHT? 387 00:14:56,964 --> 00:14:59,232 AND--AND AGAIN, I'M SORRY. - I LOVED HER. 388 00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,168 I ACTUALLY THINK SHE WAS THE ONE. 389 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,136 - THEN WHY WERE YOU CHEATIN' ON HER? 390 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,238 - IT WAS GONNA BE THE LAST TIME, THAT'S WHY. 391 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:06,573 IT WAS MY KINDA FINAL DALLIANCE. 392 00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,241 I WAS READY TO HANG IT UP. 393 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:10,243 I MEAN, THAT'S HOW MUCH THIS GIRL MEANT TO ME. 394 00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:13,246 SHE ACTUALLY MADE ME RECONSIDER ALL THE FUCKED UP SHIT I'D DONE 395 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,149 BEHIND HER BACK. 396 00:15:16,183 --> 00:15:18,251 - I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, PETER. 397 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,320 - SHIT HAPPENS. 398 00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,255 - YEAH, WELL, SHIT HAPPENS. 399 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,690 SHIT DOES, IN FACT, HAPPEN. 400 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,258 WELL, HEY, MAYBE THAT'S YOUR CATCHPHRASE. 401 00:15:25,292 --> 00:15:26,626 BUT IT'S A-- IT'S A BLACK MOVIE, 402 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:28,128 SO MAYBE IT'S "SHIT BE HAPPENIN'." 403 00:15:28,161 --> 00:15:30,663 - OKAY, LET'S GO. - WHERE? 404 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,966 - OUTSIDE. YOU AND I ARE GONNA SETTLE THIS LIKE MEN. 405 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,667 LET'S GO. - WHY? 406 00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:38,038 - FOR YEARS, I'VE BEEN TORMENTED BY THE IMAGE OF MY GIRL, 407 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,040 THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY, GETTING BANGED OUT 408 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,543 BY SOME SMUG FUCKIN' WRITER. 409 00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:45,578 TIME TO MAKE THIS RIGHT. 410 00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,614 LET'S GO. LET'S GO! 411 00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,983 - REALLY? YOU MADE A MOVIE ABOUT A BATTLESHIP? 412 00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,684 - COME ON. - MAN, JUST, 413 00:15:51,718 --> 00:15:53,486 THANKS FOR ASPEN EXTREME. - PUT YOUR SHIT OUT THERE. 414 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,088 - WHAT THE FUCK Y'ALL CRACKERS UP TO OUT HERE, MAN? 415 00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,556 - WHAT UP, PETE? - NAH, HE FUCKED 416 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:58,691 ONE OF MY EX-GIRLS, WHEN I WAS STILL WITH HER. 417 00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:00,560 - OH, COME ON. - MOODY, YOU A FUCKIN' DOG. 418 00:16:00,593 --> 00:16:02,462 RAPIN' AND PILLAGIN'? - I DIDN'T KNOW. 419 00:16:02,495 --> 00:16:04,697 - AW, MAN, I'LL KILL THAT MOTHERFUCKER THAT TOUCH MY GIRL. 420 00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:05,765 GET HIM, BERG! - WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU-- 421 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,234 - UH! - [laughing] OH! 422 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:08,535 [doorbell rings] 423 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:12,439 - HI. - HI. 424 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,473 AVA'S MOM. - [British accent] OH, NO, I'M-- 425 00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,008 - I'M CHARLIE RUNKLE. 426 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,277 STUART'S DAD, WE SPOKE ON THE PHONE. 427 00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:19,146 - NO, I'M JUST THE NANNY, BUT COME IN. 428 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:20,547 - OH! OH, OH. 429 00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:28,021 - THIS MUST BE AVA. 430 00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,622 HELLO, AVA. 431 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:32,059 - [screams] 432 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,361 - AVA, DARLING, CALM DOWN. 433 00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:35,762 WHY DON'T WE GO TO YOUR ROOM? 434 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,364 - HELLO, MR. RUNKLE. 435 00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,599 - HELLO, MRS., UH-- 436 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,469 - CALL ME ALISON. - AND YOU CALL ME CHARLIE. 437 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,171 [door slams] UH, OKAY. 438 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:47,640 I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY, IN PERSON, 439 00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,077 AND APOLOGIZE FOR MY SON'S BEHAVIOR. 440 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,778 - YOUR SON'S DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR. 441 00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,514 AVA'S CRIED HERSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT SINCE THE INCIDENT. 442 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,417 - HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS BETTER? 443 00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,086 - YOU'RE AN AGENT, AREN'T YOU? 444 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,254 - THAT I AM. U.T.K. 445 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,555 - YOU MUST KNOW MY HUSBAND, BRUCE. 446 00:17:02,589 --> 00:17:04,157 BUSINESS AFFAIRS AT WARNERS. 447 00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:08,228 - OH. UH, OF COURSE. TOUGH NEGOTIATOR. 448 00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,762 BUT FAIR. ALWAYS FAIR. 449 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,498 - BULLSHIT! 450 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,367 HE'S AN ABUSIVE SOCIOPATH AND A CASUAL ALCOHOLIC. 451 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:19,239 - I'M NOT THE BIGGEST FAN. - NEITHER AM I. 452 00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:22,775 - ACTUALLY, UH, HE'S KIND OF A BULLY, IN FACT. 453 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:27,114 - YES, YES, HE IS, AND I HAVE THE SCARS TO PROVE IT. 454 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:31,651 - OKAY. UM, A PEACE OFFERING. 455 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,620 WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND I 456 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:36,423 DISCUSS THIS FURTHER OVER A GLASS OF SAUVIGNON BLANC? 457 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:39,626 - I SHOULDN'T. BUT I WILL. 458 00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,098 - KARMA'S A BITCH, AIN'T IT? - IT'S NOT KARMA. 459 00:17:45,132 --> 00:17:48,201 IT'S JUST SHITTY FUCKIN' LUCK. 460 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:50,237 - THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S A GOOD DIRECTOR, TOO, MAN. 461 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,272 HOPE YOU DIDN'T FUCK MY SHIT UP. 462 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:54,341 - I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW. 463 00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,676 I CARE ABOUT MY FUCKIN' EYE. - [laughs] 464 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,515 - [coughing] 465 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:07,720 [slow hip-hop music] 466 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:13,360 * 467 00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:17,897 - * WHY WOULD YOU STRAND ME HERE * 468 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,433 * STRAND ME HERE 469 00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:24,237 * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE * 470 00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,740 * WHY DID WE CLIMB 471 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,343 * SO HIGH? 472 00:18:30,377 --> 00:18:33,846 - [sobs] - CRYIN' MOTHERFUCKER. 473 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,515 - NO, I AIN'T CRYIN'. SHUT THE FUCK UP! 474 00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:36,583 - MY MAN, THIS NIGGA CRYIN', MAN. 475 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:37,817 CHECK THIS SHIT-- 476 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,819 [yelling and fighting] 477 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:40,820 [gunshot] 478 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,555 - WHOA! - OH! 479 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,891 - * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE * 480 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,193 - OFF ME, NIGGA! 481 00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,329 - * WHAT WOULD YOU SAY? 482 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,464 - OH! THIS MOTHERFUCKER SHOT ME, MAN! 483 00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:53,500 - HEY, LOOK WHO'S CRYIN' NOW. - [sobs] 484 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,668 - CHASE, TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER TO THE HOSPITAL, MAN. 485 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,237 - [crying] NO, MAN! 486 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:59,672 [sobs] OH, SHIT. 487 00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:04,444 I AIN'T GOT NO FUCKIN' MEDICAL! 488 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:10,450 - * WHEN YOU REALLY WANT TO BURN THAT BRIDGE? * 489 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:16,689 * 490 00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:19,592 - WHAT DOES YOUR WIFE DO? 491 00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:22,829 - SHE HAS SEX WITH A VERY RICH MOVIE PRODUCER NAMED STU BEGGS. 492 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:25,965 - MMM, OF COURSE. MARCY. - MM-HMM. 493 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,268 - I SEE HER ALL THE TIME AT THE BAR METHOD. 494 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:30,537 - [chuckles] 495 00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,405 - I HAD SEX WITH STU BEGGS ONCE. 496 00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,806 YEAH, I WAS HIS DEVELOPMENT GIRL 497 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,343 FOR A SHORT TIME IN THE MID-90s. 498 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,478 HUGE PENIS. - YES, I'M WELL AWARE. 499 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:42,215 - LIKE A BRATWURST. - OKAY. ENOUGH. 500 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,850 - HE ASKED ME TO PEE ON HIM. 501 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,686 - REALLY? 502 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,687 DID YOU? 503 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,456 - YES. 504 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:51,558 I HAD TO GO. SEEMED SILLY TO JUST SAY NO. 505 00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:53,593 - [laughing] MAKES SENSE. 506 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,495 - I DON'T WANT TO TAKE AVA OUT OF BROKEN ARROW. 507 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:56,996 IT'S A GREAT SCHOOL, 508 00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,866 AND IT FUNNELS INTO ALL THE BEST ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS. 509 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:01,334 - THAT IS WHAT THEY SAY. 510 00:20:01,368 --> 00:20:04,404 [clears throat] SO... 511 00:20:04,437 --> 00:20:05,838 HOW DO WE FIX THIS? 512 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,874 - WHAT MAKES BOYS WANT TO TAKE THEIR DICKS OUT 513 00:20:07,907 --> 00:20:09,876 AND SHOW THEM TO GIRLS? 514 00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:13,713 - UH, I DON'T KNOW. PRIDE OF OWNERSHIP, MAYBE? 515 00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,015 - ARE YOU GONNA TAKE YOURS OUT? 516 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,984 - I'M SORRY? 517 00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:19,986 - DON'T YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOURS? 518 00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,589 - MY... 519 00:20:22,622 --> 00:20:23,723 PENIS? 520 00:20:23,756 --> 00:20:25,725 - YOUR DICK. YOUR SAUSAGE. 521 00:20:25,758 --> 00:20:27,727 YOUR COCK, WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT. 522 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,497 ARE YOU GONNA TAKE IT OUT AND MASTURBATE FOR ME? 523 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,900 JUST LIKE YOUR SON DID IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER. 524 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:37,937 - [laughs] 525 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,639 WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 526 00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:40,973 - WHY NOT? 527 00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,617 THAT'S RIGHT. 528 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:53,286 TOUCH YOURSELF. 529 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,687 - OH. 530 00:20:54,721 --> 00:20:56,689 - YOU FILTHY PIG. 531 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:58,625 YOU PERVERT. 532 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,393 WHY DO YOU WANT TO SHOW ME YOUR DICK? 533 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:03,296 THAT PATHETIC LITTLE EXCUSE FOR A PENIS. 534 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:04,564 IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR SON'S. 535 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,766 DO YOU FUCK GROWN WOMEN WITH THAT THING? 536 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:09,569 - [breathes hard] - ARE THEY EVER SATISFIED? 537 00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,371 HOW COULD THEY BE? 538 00:21:11,404 --> 00:21:13,573 WHAT'S IT LIKE... 539 00:21:13,606 --> 00:21:17,744 TO HAVE THE DESIRE, BUT NOT THE RIGHT TOOL FOR THE JOB? 540 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,978 - [breathes hard] 541 00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,981 - [gasps] - JESUS CHRIST, LIZZIE! 542 00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,916 HOW ABOUT SOME FUCKING PRIVACY? 543 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,518 - [gasps] - I'M SO SORRY. 544 00:21:25,552 --> 00:21:27,454 OH, MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! 545 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:28,788 OH, MY GOD. - [panting] OH. 546 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,790 - CLEAN UP IN HERE, YOU PIG. 547 00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:33,326 - [pants] [laughs] 548 00:21:47,407 --> 00:21:51,844 - [sobs] 549 00:21:57,116 --> 00:21:59,719 - HEY, ARE-- ARE YOU OKAY? 550 00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:01,721 - I JUST GOT FIRED. 551 00:22:01,754 --> 00:22:04,691 - OH, NO. OH, I'M SO SORRY. 552 00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,393 - DON'T BE. SHE WAS A NIGHTMARE TO WORK FOR. 553 00:22:06,426 --> 00:22:09,362 - YEAH, I GOT THE FEELING. - [sniffs] 554 00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:14,634 - SHE HITS ON EVERYONE, YOU KNOW. 555 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,437 MESSENGERS, MAILMEN, GARDENERS. 556 00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:20,039 I WALKED IN ON HER AND THE DIRECTV GUY ONCE. 557 00:22:20,072 --> 00:22:22,041 SHE HAD HER FINGER UP HIS ASS. 558 00:22:22,074 --> 00:22:23,376 - [mimicking her accent] UP HIS ASS? 559 00:22:23,410 --> 00:22:25,878 - YEAH, SHE'S REALLY FUCKED UP. 560 00:22:25,912 --> 00:22:27,747 - I SHOULD SAY SO. 561 00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:29,115 [closes car door] 562 00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:32,051 HEY, ARE YOU LOOKIN' FOR A NEW GIG? 563 00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,654 - YEAH, ABSOLUTELY. I REALLY NEED THE MONEY... 564 00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:37,023 FOR COOKING SCHOOL. - AWESOME. 565 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:38,658 PEOPLE LOVE FOOD. 566 00:22:38,691 --> 00:22:40,126 - YEAH. 567 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,861 - WELL, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT, 568 00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:45,498 MY EX-WIFE IS LOOKIN' FOR A NEW NANNY FOR OUR SON. 569 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:48,935 - AND YOUR SON IS THE ONE WHO EXPOSED HIMSELF TO AVA. 570 00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:52,038 - YES. YES, BUT HE'S REALLY VERY SWEET. 571 00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:56,142 MY GUESS IS, HE MEANT IT AS A COMPLIMENT. 572 00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:57,577 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 573 00:22:57,610 --> 00:23:00,413 ANY INTEREST? 574 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:02,148 - [sighs] THANK YOU. 575 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:10,189 [hip-hop music] 576 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:15,795 * 577 00:23:15,828 --> 00:23:18,931 - SO LOOK, MAN, YOU HAD A CHANCE TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY WITH ME. 578 00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,434 KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SEE BEHIND THE CURTAIN. 579 00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,903 SO WHAT'S THIS GONNA BE? 580 00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:28,575 - NO DISRESPECT, BUT I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO PASS. 581 00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:29,676 I GOTTA-- 582 00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,882 WILL YOU EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND? 583 00:23:40,653 --> 00:23:43,590 * 584 00:23:43,623 --> 00:23:44,591 - HEY, TYLER. 585 00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:48,828 - HANK. [laughs] WHAT'S UP, MAN? 586 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,797 FANCY SEEING YOU AGAIN. 587 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,832 THIS--THIS IS-- THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 588 00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:53,966 THIS IS MY SISTER. 589 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:55,568 - HOW'S BECCA? 590 00:23:55,602 --> 00:23:56,836 - SHE'S AT HOME WITH HER MOM. 591 00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,170 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO COME OUT TONIGHT. 592 00:23:58,204 --> 00:23:59,772 YOU KNOW, I REALLY DIG THAT ABOUT HER. 593 00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:01,173 - SHE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE? - YEAH, OF COURSE. 594 00:24:01,207 --> 00:24:02,775 I WAS JUST TEXTING WITH HER. 595 00:24:02,809 --> 00:24:04,110 - DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT YOUR SISTER? 596 00:24:04,143 --> 00:24:06,946 - OKAY, I-- I REALLY LIKE BECCA, OKAY, I DO, 597 00:24:06,979 --> 00:24:10,116 BUT LIFE IS SHORT, MAN, YOU KNOW, AND JUST SOMETIMES, 598 00:24:10,149 --> 00:24:13,786 SOMETIMES SHIT HAPPENS. 599 00:24:13,820 --> 00:24:16,556 - IS SHE AWARE OF HOW LOOSE THIS ARRANGEMENT IS? 600 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,057 - I DON'T KNOW, HANK. 601 00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:22,094 WE'RE JUST SORTA TAKIN' IT DAY BY DAY. 602 00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:24,063 SHIT. YOU GOT THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE, 603 00:24:24,096 --> 00:24:25,164 LIKE YOU WANT TO HIT ME. 604 00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:26,999 FEEL FREE... 605 00:24:27,033 --> 00:24:29,669 IF YOU WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO HATE YOU FOR LIFE. 606 00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:35,041 GOTCHA! [laughs] 607 00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:37,176 LOOK, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO DISCUSS? 608 00:24:37,209 --> 00:24:38,878 NO? OKAY, COOL. 609 00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:39,879 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT. 610 00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:41,848 [laughs] 611 00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:44,717 HEY, SIS. [chuckles] 612 00:24:48,555 --> 00:24:51,123 - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 613 00:24:51,157 --> 00:24:55,662 - SOME GUY MY DAUGHTER'S SEEING DOESN'T SEEM ENTIRELY FAITHFUL. 614 00:24:55,695 --> 00:24:57,063 I THINK HE'S GONNA BREAK HER HEART. 615 00:24:57,096 --> 00:24:58,965 - MAYBE WE SHOULD BREAK HIS LEGS FIRST. 616 00:24:58,998 --> 00:25:00,767 - THAT WAS MY FIRST IMPULSE, 617 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,570 BUT IF I DO THAT, THEN SHE'S GONNA HATE ME FOREVER. 618 00:25:03,603 --> 00:25:05,705 I HAVE A HISTORY OF DOING THE WELL-INTENTIONED WRONG THING 619 00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,006 WHEN IT COMES TO HER. 620 00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:10,042 - SO MOODY'S A GOOD FATHER, HUH? 621 00:25:10,076 --> 00:25:12,044 I LIKE THAT IN A BROTHER. 622 00:25:12,078 --> 00:25:14,046 - ME TOO. 623 00:25:20,953 --> 00:25:23,189 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA-- I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. 624 00:25:23,222 --> 00:25:25,024 PEACE. 625 00:25:25,057 --> 00:25:26,125 - PEACE OUT, NIGGA. 626 00:25:26,158 --> 00:25:28,895 - GOOD LUCK ON YOUR PROJECT. 627 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,141 - JUST SO YOU KNOW, 628 00:25:42,174 --> 00:25:45,111 YOU'RE WELL-REPRESENTED IN THIS BATTLE OF THE EXES. 629 00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:46,679 I GOT YOUR BACK, RAPIST. 630 00:25:46,713 --> 00:25:49,281 - MUCHO APPRECIATO, BATESY. 631 00:25:49,315 --> 00:25:51,718 LADIES. - OH, MY GOD. 632 00:25:51,751 --> 00:25:53,219 YOU'VE BEEN IN TOWN FOR TWO DAYS, 633 00:25:53,252 --> 00:25:55,054 AND YOU HAVE A BLACK EYE ALREADY. 634 00:25:55,087 --> 00:25:56,288 - APPARENTLY, I HAD IT COMIN'. 635 00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:59,091 - REALLY? SHOCKER. 636 00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:01,894 - BECCA, CAN I SPEAK WITH YOU A MOMENT? 637 00:26:01,928 --> 00:26:05,865 - NO. 638 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:09,636 - [whispering] GO AND SPEAK WITH HIM. 639 00:26:12,371 --> 00:26:15,374 - I JUST WANTED TO SAY I'M SORRY, YOU KNOW? 640 00:26:15,407 --> 00:26:16,976 IT'S NOT RIGHT OF ME TO SWOOP IN HERE 641 00:26:17,009 --> 00:26:18,645 AND GIVE YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT YOUR LIFE. 642 00:26:18,678 --> 00:26:20,847 BUT YOU HAVE TO KNOW IT COMES FROM A GOOD PLACE. 643 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:22,248 YOU KNOW, A PLACE OF WANTING TO PROTECT YOU 644 00:26:22,281 --> 00:26:23,683 FROM ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT'S OUT THERE. 645 00:26:23,716 --> 00:26:26,352 I KNOW WHAT GUYS ARE LIKE. 646 00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:30,723 [laughs] I'VE BEEN THAT GUY. 647 00:26:30,757 --> 00:26:32,191 I AM THAT GUY, 648 00:26:32,224 --> 00:26:34,827 SOMETIMES. 649 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:36,729 IT'S JUST SO HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE 650 00:26:36,763 --> 00:26:39,265 BETWEEN THOSE THAT HAVE A GOOD HEART 651 00:26:39,298 --> 00:26:41,300 AND THE ONES THAT ARE JUST OUT THERE TO WIN. 652 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:44,771 - HE'S A GOOD GUY, DAD. I KNOW IT. 653 00:26:44,804 --> 00:26:49,208 I KNOW IT LIKE I KNOW YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, DEEP DOWN. 654 00:26:52,679 --> 00:26:56,148 [cell phone tune] 655 00:26:56,182 --> 00:26:58,050 SPEAK OF THE HANDSOME DEVIL. 656 00:26:58,084 --> 00:26:59,051 - [laughs] 657 00:26:59,085 --> 00:27:00,386 - HOLD ON A SEC, DAD. 658 00:27:00,419 --> 00:27:05,191 HELLO. 659 00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:09,361 - YOU DID GOOD. IT'LL BE OKAY. 660 00:27:09,395 --> 00:27:13,032 - YOU SURE ABOUT THAT? 661 00:27:13,065 --> 00:27:14,200 - CAN SOMEONE TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL? 662 00:27:14,233 --> 00:27:15,935 - WHY? WHAT'S HAPPENED? 663 00:27:15,968 --> 00:27:17,336 - TYLER WAS LEAVING SOME CLUB IN HOLLYWOOD, 664 00:27:17,369 --> 00:27:19,071 AND HE GOT JUMPED BY A BUNCH OF GANGBANGERS. 665 00:27:19,105 --> 00:27:21,373 THEY BEAT HIM UP PRETTY BAD. HE'S AT CEDARS. 666 00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:23,175 - SWEETIE, I'M SO SORRY. OF COURSE, COME ON. 667 00:27:23,209 --> 00:27:24,711 LET'S GO. 668 00:27:24,744 --> 00:27:26,946 UM, HAVE YOU GOT THE KEYS? - YEAH, YEAH. 669 00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:29,682 SOUNDS LIKE THE LITTLE TURD-FONDLER 670 00:27:29,716 --> 00:27:32,919 FINALLY PISSED OFF THE WRONG GUY. 671 00:27:32,952 --> 00:27:35,187 - * OLD MAN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE I'M A LOT LIKE YOU * 672 00:27:35,221 --> 00:27:37,256 [cell phone tone] 673 00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:40,960 * I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME 674 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:44,797 * THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH 675 00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:50,069 * AND ONE LOOK IN MY EYES AND YOU CAN TELL THAT'S TRUE * 676 00:27:50,102 --> 00:27:57,710 * 677 00:27:57,744 --> 00:28:00,312 * OLD MAN, LOOK AT MY LIFE 678 00:28:00,346 --> 00:28:04,383 * I'M A LOT LIKE YOU WERE 679 00:28:04,416 --> 00:28:08,187 * 680 00:28:08,220 --> 00:28:14,093 * OLD MAN, TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE, I'M A LOT LIKE YOU * 681 00:28:14,126 --> 00:28:19,766 * I NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE ME THE WHOLE DAY THROUGH * 682 00:28:19,799 --> 00:28:22,001 * AND ONE LOOK IN MY EYES 683 00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:25,872 * AND YOU CAN TELL THAT'S TRUE 684 00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:31,844 *