1 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,809 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,544 YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE ALMOST UGLY. 3 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:12,513 IT'S OFF-PUTTING. I'M HANK. 4 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,747 - IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU, HANK. 5 00:00:13,781 --> 00:00:16,250 - BYE, MISS NEVER-GOT-YOUR-NAME. 6 00:00:16,284 --> 00:00:18,286 - I'M GONNA DO MY OWN THING, MY OWN MOMENT. 7 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,622 SANTA MONICA COP IS MY EDDIE MURPHY MOMENT RIGHT NOW. 8 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:23,191 GET YOUR SEXY ASS OVER HERE. 9 00:00:23,224 --> 00:00:25,426 HANK MOODY, THIS IS MY PROTEGE, KALI. 10 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:26,427 BETTER NOT BE HITTING ON MY GIRL. 11 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,196 WHAT'S UP, MAN? 12 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,330 YOU SHOULD BE AT STARBUCKS WRITING ME SOME FUNNY SHIT, MAN. 13 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,664 - I DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT. 14 00:00:30,698 --> 00:00:35,136 - GET YOUR PAWS OFF HER, AND YOUR FUCKING PENIS. 15 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:36,604 - I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO RICHARD BATES. 16 00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,206 - HAVEN'T TOUCHED THE STUFF 17 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,208 SINCE SLICK WILLY WAS IN THE WHITE HOUSE. 18 00:00:40,241 --> 00:00:41,575 POUR ME ANOTHER. 19 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:44,245 HE UNVEILED HIS BEAUTIFUL MAN-PUSSY. 20 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,446 - HOW'S BECCA? 21 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,548 - THE BOYFRIEND, I WANNA KILL HIM, HANK. 22 00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,183 - HEY, TYLER. 23 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,285 - THIS--THIS IS-- THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE. 24 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:52,620 THIS IS MY SISTER. 25 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,255 - WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 26 00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,090 - SOME GUY MY DAUGHTER'S SEEING. 27 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,591 I THINK HE'S GONNA BREAK HER HEART. 28 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,527 - MAYBE YOU SHOULD BREAK HIS LEGS FIRST. 29 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,129 - TYLER WAS LEAVING SOME CLUB IN HOLLYWOOD, 30 00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:02,863 AND HE GOT JUMPED BY A BUNCH OF GANGBANGERS. 31 00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:04,832 [phone beeps] 32 00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:17,578 [gunshots] 33 00:01:20,314 --> 00:01:21,649 - WOW. 34 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,251 KILLING BAD GUYS IS YOUR BUSINESS, 35 00:01:23,284 --> 00:01:25,553 AND BUSINESS BE FUCKING CRACKIN', YO. 36 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,588 - THAT'S RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER. 37 00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:30,524 KNOW WHO THAT IS? - UH, NO. 38 00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:33,227 IT LOOKS KINDA LIKE RYAN SEACREST THOUGH. 39 00:01:33,261 --> 00:01:35,296 - WHAT THE FUCK YOU GOT AGAINST RYAN SEACREST, MAN? 40 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,597 - NOTHING IN PARTICULAR. 41 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,831 THE GUY JUST BUGS THE SHIT OUTTA ME. 42 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,233 - WHY? 43 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:40,268 THIS MOTHERFUCKER, HE WORKS HARD, 44 00:01:40,301 --> 00:01:41,469 MAKE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS, 45 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:42,703 AND HE GOT A FUCKING CATCHPHRASE, 46 00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,238 WHICH I DON'T HAVE, ALL RIGHT? 47 00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,439 AND YOU WANNA KILL HIM DEAD? 48 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:46,640 THAT'S SOME HARSH SHIT, MOODY. 49 00:01:46,674 --> 00:01:48,342 YOU GOT TOO MUCH NEGATIVE ENERGY IN YOU. 50 00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:49,677 YOU NEED TO WORK THAT SHIT THE FUCK OUT. 51 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,645 - WELL, EXCUSE ME. 52 00:01:51,679 --> 00:01:54,348 - NO, THAT'S FUCKING KALI'S NEW BOYFRIEND RIGHT THERE, MAN. 53 00:01:54,382 --> 00:01:57,551 - OH, SHE'S GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND, DOES SHE? 54 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:58,919 - I DON'T KNOW, MAN, 55 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,488 BUT SHE MOVED OUT OF MY FUCKING CRIB LAST WEEK, 56 00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:02,223 TALKING ABOUT SHE AIN'T COMFORTABLE 57 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:03,591 MIXING BUSINESS AND PLEASURE ANYMORE. 58 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,193 WHAT KINDA SHIT IS THAT, MAN? 59 00:02:05,226 --> 00:02:07,261 - DID SHE SAY SHE WAS SEEING SOMEONE ELSE? 60 00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,562 - FUCK NO. 61 00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:10,364 BUT I KNOW HOW THAT SHIT GOES, MAN. 62 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:12,500 I MEAN, SOMEBODY GOTTA BE TAPPING THAT ASS, 63 00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,734 'CAUSE THAT ASS IS TOO FINE 64 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:15,403 NOT TO BE TAPPED. 65 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,405 AND THAT MR. SOMEONE WILL GET HIS MOTHERFUCKING DICK 66 00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:18,906 SHOT THE FUCK OFF. 67 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,375 - HEY, YOU KNOW, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY, 68 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,244 SAM YOU AM. 69 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:26,914 YOU'RE MERE MONTHS AWAY FROM BECOMING AN A-LIST "RAPTOR." 70 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:28,549 - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? 71 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:30,284 - RAPPER TURNED ACTOR. GET IT? 72 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:31,419 - NO, I DON'T GET THAT. 73 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:32,586 - I LIKE IT. 74 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,255 WHATEVER. 75 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:37,725 - FUCKING BITCH JUST DRIVES ME CRAZY, MAN. 76 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,427 YOU KNOW WHAT, MAYBE IT'S THE CASE OF A NIGGA 77 00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,295 WHO WANTS SOME SHIT HE CAN'T HAVE. 78 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:42,330 - TRUE DAT. 79 00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:44,398 THIS NIGGA HAS OFTEN 80 00:02:44,432 --> 00:02:46,567 FELL PREY TO THAT ON SOME OCCASIONS. 81 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,901 I'M SORRY. 82 00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:49,503 MY BAD. 83 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,573 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, I'M IN THE WRONG THERE. 84 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,974 - WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT, MAN? 85 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,309 - MMM? - WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT? 86 00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:56,744 - NOTHING. - WRONG. 87 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,346 YOU'RE ROLLING WITH ME ON A RIDE-ALONG. 88 00:02:58,379 --> 00:02:59,813 - A RIDE-ALONG? 89 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,649 - YEAH, WITH THE REAL SANTA MONICA P.D. 90 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,317 I GOTTA GET MY FUCKING COP. 91 00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,718 REALLY WANNA BE AUTHENTIC, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 92 00:03:04,752 --> 00:03:05,819 AND I NEED TO HIT THE STREETS 93 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,621 TO GET THE FEEL FOR THIS SHIT. 94 00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:09,390 AND YOU NEED TO BE TAKING SOME FUCKING NOTES, ALL RIGHT? 95 00:03:09,423 --> 00:03:13,894 SO BE THERE OR BE SIX FEET UNDER, MOTHERFUCKER. 96 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:20,334 [upbeat music] 97 00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:28,309 * 98 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,815 - YOU GOTTA GO. 99 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,517 - I DON'T GOTTA DO NOTHING. 100 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,685 - GOOD GOD, MAN, IT'S A RIDE-ALONG. 101 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,053 AT THE ABSOLUTE WORST, 102 00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,988 IT'LL BE AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING BLAST. 103 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,591 - LOOK, SOONER OR LATER THIS GUY'S GONNA FIND 104 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:18,926 OR FIGURE OUT THAT I'M FUCKING 105 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,694 THE OBJECT OF HIS GANGSTERY AFFECTIONS, 106 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,396 AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I'M TOAST. 107 00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:23,897 BLOODY, BULLET-RIDDEN TOAST. 108 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,599 - I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD GO. 109 00:04:25,633 --> 00:04:27,435 - AND I THINK YOU SHOULD BE ON MY SIDE FOR ONCE. 110 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:28,836 YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSED ON PROTECTING MY ASS, 111 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,070 NOT JUST MY CAREER. 112 00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:32,373 - YOUR CAREER IS JUST FINE, BUDDY-BOY. 113 00:04:32,406 --> 00:04:34,408 YOU ARE THE GUY THAT GOT SANTA MONICA COP 114 00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:35,476 A GREEN LIGHT. 115 00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:36,610 - WOW. 116 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,711 THERE'S A DUBIOUS HONOR. 117 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,812 - DUBIOUS OR NOT, 118 00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,013 I GOT SERIOUS INTEREST IN YOU 119 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,682 FOR A WHOLE BUNCH OF PROJECTS. 120 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,484 - THAT'S GREAT. REALLY? 121 00:04:43,517 --> 00:04:44,952 WELL, WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT IT NOW? 122 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,887 WHY JUST AS AN ASIDE? WHAT ARE THEY? 123 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,589 - I DON'T KNOW. 124 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:50,691 I GOT 'EM WRITTEN DOWN ON A BUCKSLIP SOMEWHERE. 125 00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:53,794 - WORST AGENT EVER. 126 00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,430 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I WILL GO WITH YOU. 127 00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,965 KEEP YOU OUT OF HARM'S WAY. 128 00:04:57,998 --> 00:05:00,100 I WILL BE YOUR HUMAN KEVLAR. 129 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,503 IT'S NO PROBLEM, NONE AT ALL. 130 00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,439 THAT'S JUST THE KIND OF SERVICE YOU GET FOR YOUR 10%. 131 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:07,641 - BULLSHIT, YOU JUST WANNA RIDE IN THE POLICE CAR. 132 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,910 - EVER SINCE I WAS A LITTLE BOY. 133 00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:11,445 - YOU'RE HERE, YOU'RE QUEER, AND I'M USED TO IT, 134 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:12,513 BUT YOU'RE NOT INVITED. 135 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,448 - BUT I COULD BE, RIGHT? 136 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,449 I COULD TAG ALONG 137 00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,084 FOR THE RIDE-ALONG. 138 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:20,788 - I FEEL LIKE CRUSHING ONE OF YOUR TESTICLES RIGHT NOW. 139 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,691 - DOES THAT MEAN I CAN GO? 140 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:27,695 - FINE, LET'S GO, POWDER. 141 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,363 - [exclaims] 142 00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,031 - I HOPE YOU GET KILLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY. 143 00:05:38,506 --> 00:05:40,007 THIS FEELS UNNATURAL TO ME, 144 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,476 VOLUNTARILY ARRIVING AT A POLICE STATION. 145 00:05:42,510 --> 00:05:43,644 - [sniffs] I LIKE IT. 146 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,012 SMELLS LIKE CRIME, PUNISHMENT, 147 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,580 AND THE URINE OF HOMELESS MEN AND WOMEN. 148 00:05:46,614 --> 00:05:50,017 - WHERE IS THAT FUCKING LUNATIC? 149 00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:51,685 - HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK, MOTHERFUCKER. 150 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,621 'CAUSE YOU UNDER ARREST. - WHAT THE FUCK FOR? 151 00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:57,591 - FOR JERKING OFF ON THE JOB, DR. EVIL! 152 00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:00,060 - WHAT THE FUCK? 153 00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,795 - I SCARED THE SHIT OUT YOU. 154 00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,631 - HEY, HEY, DO YOUR RUNKLE IMITATION 155 00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:06,400 FOR RUNKLE HIMSELF. CHECK IT OUT. 156 00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,602 - [grunting] 157 00:06:08,636 --> 00:06:10,170 - HUH? 158 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,905 - I DON'T SEE WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT. 159 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,507 IT'S NOT EVEN REALISTIC. 160 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:16,510 DID YOU WATCH THE VIDEO? IT WAS MORE LIKE THIS. 161 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:17,845 WHOO! 162 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:18,879 - THAT'S TRUE. 163 00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,781 - [sighs] COMMANDO. 164 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:21,782 - HEY, WHAT THE FUCK HE DOING HERE, MAN? 165 00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,050 I DIDN'T INVITE HIM. 166 00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:24,785 - FUCKER INVITED HIMSELF. TELL HIM. 167 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,020 - I ALWAYS WANTED TO RIDE IN A COP CAR. 168 00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,756 IT'S A BOYHOOD DREAM, ACTUALLY. 169 00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:30,123 - WELL, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT 170 00:06:30,157 --> 00:06:31,659 AND YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS, A'IGHT? 171 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,993 - A'IGHT. 172 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:34,528 - A'IGHT. - A'IGHT. 173 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:36,430 - SHOTGUN. 174 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:39,433 [rock music] 175 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,502 - * COME ON, PUT 'EM UP, PUT 'EM UP * 176 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,936 - SO THIS IS IT, BOYS. 177 00:06:42,970 --> 00:06:45,539 WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE. TAKE A WHIFF. 178 00:06:45,573 --> 00:06:48,208 - [sniffs] - SORRY, THAT WAS ME. 179 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,010 HEY, LOOK, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU, 180 00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,745 THERE'S NOT A WHOLE LOT OF GLAMOUR TO THE PROFESSION. 181 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,547 - ARE YOU KIDDING? THIS IS FUCKING AWESOME. 182 00:06:53,581 --> 00:06:54,915 CAN I TURN THIS LIGHT ON? 183 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,550 - NO. - CAN I PULL SOMEONE OVER? 184 00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,885 - AND STOP TOUCHING STUFF. 185 00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,487 COME ON, MAN, YOU'RE LIKE A BIG BABY. 186 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:01,188 - HEY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I ALWAYS SAY. 187 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,956 - ANY AVAILABLE UNIT IN THE VICINITY OF PICO AND 23RD, 188 00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:04,458 POSSIBLE "B" AND "E" IN PROGRESS. 189 00:07:04,492 --> 00:07:06,026 - AIN'T YOU GONNA GET THAT, MAN? 190 00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:07,595 THAT SHIT'S CLOSE BY. 191 00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:09,830 - NAH, SOMEBODY WILL GET IT. 192 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,565 EVENTUALLY. 193 00:07:11,599 --> 00:07:12,966 SOUNDS PRETTY UNPLEASANT. 194 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,469 BESIDES, I GOTTA BABYSIT YOU BED WETTERS. 195 00:07:15,503 --> 00:07:18,238 SO WHAT'S THIS MOVIE ABOUT? 196 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,941 - IT'S ABOUT HOLLYWOOD'S NEED TO RECYCLE 197 00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:25,245 EVEN THE LAMEST IDEAS IN AN EFFORT TO MAXIMIZE... 198 00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,580 STUFF. 199 00:07:26,614 --> 00:07:27,915 I DON'T KNOW. I'M OUT. 200 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:28,916 I GOT NOTHING. - SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOODY. 201 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,751 YOU'RE TOO CYNICAL, MAN. 202 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,985 YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THE WORLD THROUGH THE EYES OF A CHILD 203 00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:33,987 LIKE RUNKLE HERE. 204 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:35,656 - OOH. - HEY, YO. 205 00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:36,957 IT'S ABOUT A TOUGH KID WHO GREW UP IN COMPTON, 206 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,526 BECOMES A COP, 207 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:39,927 GETS TRANSFERRED OVER TO SANTA MONICA, 208 00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,095 AND USES HIS STREET SMARTS TO FUCK UP WHITEY. 209 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,231 - SO IT'S LIKE BEVERLY HILLS COP. 210 00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,699 - YOU ARE CORRECT, SIR. 211 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,000 - EVERYBODY KEEPS SAYING THAT SHIT. 212 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,869 NAH, MAN, IT'S BASED IN SANTA MONICA. 213 00:07:48,902 --> 00:07:50,137 - YEAH, IT'S SET IN SANTA MONICA. 214 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:53,541 - HEY, HEY, HEY, MR. OFFICER, SIR, 215 00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,142 THAT GUY IS CLEARLY TEXTING WHILE DRIVING. 216 00:07:55,175 --> 00:07:57,678 LET'S GET HIM. - WHO GIVES A FUCK? 217 00:07:57,711 --> 00:07:59,279 WHO DOESN'T? I DO IT ALL THE TIME. 218 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,514 I'D BE A HYPOCRITE IF I PULLED SOMEBODY OVER 219 00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,849 FOR THAT SHIT. 220 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:03,651 YOU IMAGINE GETTING PULLED OVER FOR TEXTING? 221 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:04,785 WOULDN'T THAT JUST CHAP YOUR FUCKING HIDE? 222 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,286 - FUCK, MAN. 223 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,789 - WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON DRUNK DRIVING, OFFICER? 224 00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,890 - YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION, RIGHT? 225 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:10,924 - THANK YOU. 226 00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,125 - THAT DEPENDS REALLY, 227 00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,727 MOSTLY ON THE CUT OF THEIR JIB. 228 00:08:13,761 --> 00:08:16,597 IF THE GUY'S A REAL D-BAG, HIS ASS IS MINE. 229 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,098 HE IS GOING DOWN. 230 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,100 AND THE SAME THING FOR A HOT CHICK. 231 00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:21,569 DOWN ON THIS. 232 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:23,036 - OH-HO! ALL RIGHT. 233 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,705 GET A LOAD OF BAD LIEUTENANT. 234 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,273 - HEY, YO, YOU EVER SHOOT A MOTHERFUCKER BEFORE? 235 00:08:26,306 --> 00:08:27,841 - JUST ONCE. 236 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,209 KIND OF A SAD STORY, ACTUALLY. 237 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,711 IT WAS A LITTLE KID. 238 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:31,979 I MEAN, I THOUGHT THE KID HAD A PIECE. 239 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,783 TURNS OUT IT WAS AN IPOD TOUCH. 240 00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:36,984 - BET HE WAS BLACK. WAS HE BLACK? 241 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,085 - WAS HE BLACK? 242 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,186 - OF COURSE HE WAS BLACK. 243 00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,188 WHY DO YOU THINK I SHOT FIRST? 244 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,923 [laughs] - THIS NIGGA, MAN. 245 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,325 COP OR NO COP, MAN, HE PULL THIS FUCKING CAR OVER, 246 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,160 I'M GONNA BITCH-SMACK THAT MOTHERFUCKER. 247 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,195 - CHURCH. 248 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,196 - [whimpers] 249 00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,664 - HEY, RUNKS, 250 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,765 GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, MAN. 251 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,200 - UH, I'M SORRY. 252 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,002 I WAS JUST--I WAS THINKING ABOUT LITTLE STEWIE. 253 00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,837 HE'S ALWAYS PLAYING WITH HIS IPOD TOUCH. 254 00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,205 HE'S GOT THIS APP ON IT 255 00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,673 THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE A GUN, YOU KNOW? 256 00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:00,941 HE USED TO LOVE TO POINT IT AT IRMA 257 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:02,275 AND PRETEND TO SHOOT HER IN THE HEAD 258 00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:04,912 EXECUTION STYLE. - THAT'S ADORABLE. 259 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,580 - JESUS, THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GOD, HUH? 260 00:09:06,614 --> 00:09:07,715 - [laughs] 261 00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,150 I'M JUST FUCKING WITH YOU MORONS. 262 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,085 NEVER PULLED MY PIECE OUT ON THE JOB. 263 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:14,354 NEVER. NOT ONCE. 264 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:17,357 - TOO BAD THE SAME CAN'T BE SAID FOR RUNKS, HUH? 265 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:18,358 - [chuckles] 266 00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:21,094 [both grunting] 267 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,063 - I DON'T KNOW. 268 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,999 - HEY, HEY, HEY, WHO'S HUNGRY? 269 00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,375 - I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, WE'RE ACTUALLY SITTING AROUND 270 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,844 WATCHING A COP EAT DONUTS. 271 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,345 - I KNOW, IT'S A CLICHE, 272 00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:40,080 BUT THEY'RE SO FUCKING DELICIOUS, YOU KNOW? 273 00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,282 PLUS DONUTS GOT SUGAR AND CARBS, 274 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:44,184 WHICH ALLOWS FOR A QUICK BURST OF ENERGY. 275 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,786 COFFEE KEEPS ME AWAKE AND ALERT. 276 00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,722 HOT CALL COMES IN, I'M FUCKING READY. 277 00:09:48,756 --> 00:09:50,223 YOU GETTING ALL THIS, WRITER? 278 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,692 YOU NEED ME TO TALK SLOWER? 279 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:54,695 - IT'S ALL RIGHT UP HERE. 280 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:55,963 - FILL 'ER UP, DOTTY. 281 00:09:55,996 --> 00:09:57,631 - THIS SHIT IS FUCKING BORING, YO. 282 00:09:57,665 --> 00:09:59,132 IF I WANT TO SIT AROUND AND EAT DONUTS ALL NIGHT, 283 00:09:59,166 --> 00:10:01,168 I COULDA STAYED HOME AND SMOKED SOME FUCKING WEED, MAN. 284 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:02,703 - HEY, YOU WANTED TO SEE WHAT A NIGHT 285 00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:03,937 IN THE LIFE OF A COP IS LIKE. 286 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:05,338 THIS IS IT. I DRIVE AROUND. 287 00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:07,007 I TRY NOT TO GET MYSELF KILLED. 288 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,876 AND I FEED THE PAIN THAT COMES FROM KNOWING 289 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,912 THAT I PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE NIGHT AFTER FUCKING NIGHT. 290 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:15,148 THAT AND THE PAIN OF DEALING WITH A MESSY DIVORCE. 291 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:17,417 BANGING A FUCKING FIREMAN. YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? 292 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,920 - CHICK MUST REALLY HAVE A THING FOR GUYS IN UNIFORM. 293 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,088 - YEAH, EVER SINCE 9/11, 294 00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,290 FUCKING FIREMEN GET ALL THE PUSSY. 295 00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,259 HEY, YOU SEE THAT CHICK RIGHT THERE? 296 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,695 TOTAL PRO. 297 00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,929 - WOW, HOW CAN YOU TELL? 298 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,297 - YEARS OF EXPERIENCE, MY FRIEND. 299 00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,399 - HEY, HEY, HOW MUCH YOU THINK SHE CHARGES? 300 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:35,002 - AH, 25 BUCKS WILL GET YOU SOME SUCTION. 301 00:10:35,035 --> 00:10:36,904 GOTTA WEAR A RUBBER THOUGH. 302 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,773 50 BUCKS, SHE'LL LET YOU THROW DELI MEAT AT HER ASS. 303 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,174 75, SHE'LL LET YOU TASE HER. 304 00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,409 - WHY WOULD ANYBODY WANT TO DO THAT? 305 00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,077 - PEOPLE ARE SICK, MAN. 306 00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:45,178 I'M JUST TELLING YOU WHAT'S ON THE MENU 307 00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:46,446 WITH THESE BROADS. 308 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,849 - HEY, RUNKLE, HOW MUCH TO TASE YOU? 309 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,317 - HEY, HEY, MR. SAMURAI, SIR, 310 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,786 I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN TASED, AND IT IS NO FUN. 311 00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:53,821 - NO, IT IS. - NO FUN AT ALL. 312 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,088 - IT'S FUN. 313 00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:56,456 - THAT SAID, I'D PROBABLY DO IT 314 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,325 FOR A CRISP HUNDY. 315 00:10:58,358 --> 00:11:00,027 - OH, YEAH? ALL RIGHT, I'LL THROW IN. 316 00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,430 - EACH. EACH MAYBE. 317 00:11:03,463 --> 00:11:04,798 - AH, SHIT, IT'S HAPPENING! 318 00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,033 - WHAT'S HAPPENING? 319 00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:07,367 - MY HEART. ANOTHER FUCKING EPISODE. 320 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,703 GOD DAMN IT! - ARE YOU SURE? 321 00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:12,072 - YEAH, GOT AN INTENSE PAIN IN MY CHEST. 322 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,941 ARMS ARE GOING ALL NUMB. 323 00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:15,275 SOMETHING NOT GOOD IS DEFINITELY HAPPENING 324 00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:16,376 TO MY BODY RIGHT NOW. 325 00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:18,078 I'M STROKING OUT OVER HERE. 326 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,246 YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE TO DRIVE ME 327 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:20,347 TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL, OKAY? 328 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,849 - I'M CALLING MY AGENT, MAN. 329 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,817 - I'M RIGHT HERE. - MY NEW AGENT. 330 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,919 - NOW LET'S NOT BE RASH. U.T.K. IS A UNIQUE AGENCY. 331 00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:28,021 OUR ABILITY TO PACKAGE IS UNPARALLELED. 332 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:29,256 HEY, HANG ON, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS, 333 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:30,490 THEN I'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU. 334 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,860 OKAY, 911 IT IS. 335 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:34,494 - [groans] 336 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,797 - OKAY, MAN DOWN! 337 00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:41,268 GOD DAMN. 338 00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:43,103 ONE MINUTE, YOU'RE EATING A DONUT, 339 00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,772 WAXING ALL POETIC. 340 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:46,373 THE NEXT YOU'RE STROKING OUT ALL OVER THE FLOOR. 341 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,008 THAT KINDA MAKES YOU THINK, HUH? 342 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,243 - ABOUT LAYING OFF THE DONUTS, SURE. 343 00:11:50,277 --> 00:11:51,845 - THINK HE'S GONNA BE OKAY? 344 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,380 - I DON'T KNOW, HE SEEMED PRETTY TWEAKED. 345 00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:55,115 I DO KNOW THAT HE APPRECIATED YOU HOLDING HIS HAND 346 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:57,017 THE ENTIRE TIME THOUGH, RUNKS. 347 00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,385 - WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK, SAM? 348 00:11:58,418 --> 00:11:59,787 - I THINK WE SHOULD ADD A STROKE SCENE 349 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,088 TO THE SCRIPT, MAN. - STROKE SCENE? 350 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:02,155 - I CAN PULL THAT SHIT OFF NO PROBLEM. 351 00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:04,091 [groaning] - OH, YEAH. 352 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:06,794 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. NICE. 353 00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,896 - WE BEST BE THINKING ABOUT GETTING OURSELVES A CAB, HUH? 354 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:10,297 OH, WAIT A MINUTE, MAYBE ONE OF YOUR CREW GUYS 355 00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,498 CAN COME PICK US UP? 356 00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:12,499 - OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, CALL THE MIDGET. 357 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:14,001 I LOVE THAT LITTLE DUDE. 358 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,002 - THAT LITTLE NAPPY-HEADED NIGGA, MAN. 359 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,237 - YEAH, MR. LOWERCASE "T." 360 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,840 - NAH, MAN. - OH, NO, NO, NO. 361 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:21,174 I DON'T THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA, SAM. 362 00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:22,776 NO, WE COULD REALLY GET IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. 363 00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:24,144 - FOR WHAT? 364 00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,512 JUST GONNA TAKE IT BACK TO THE POLICE STATION. 365 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:26,880 - CHARLIE, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 366 00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:28,248 THE MORAL THING, THE POLITE THING. 367 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:30,517 - I JUST DON'T WANNA GET IN ANY TROUBLE. 368 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,019 - WHAT'S UP, ADAM-12? 369 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:33,020 I THOUGHT IT WAS YOUR BOYHOOD FUCKING DREAM 370 00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,254 TO RIDE IN A POLICE CAR. 371 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,123 - AND I HAVE FULFILLED THAT DREAM. 372 00:12:36,156 --> 00:12:39,326 NOW IT'S TIME WE SHOULD ALL GO HOME AND REFLECT. 373 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,461 - SHOTGUN! 374 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,864 - HEY, GUYS, WHERE YOU GOING? 375 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,365 WHE-- 376 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:48,435 YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE ME HERE, IS THAT IT? 377 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:50,437 YEP, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE JUST GONNA LEAVE WITHOUT ME. 378 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,941 OKAY, OKAY, I'M COMING. CAN I DRIVE, HUH? 379 00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,475 - * CAN'T STOP NOW 380 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,310 * HOLD THE CHAINS AND THE HARNESSES * 381 00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,913 * GET DOWN TO LAKE TOWN, 'CAUSE CAN'T STOP NOW * 382 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,481 * 383 00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,283 - COULD HAVE AT LEAST LET ME SIT IN THE FRONT. 384 00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:04,584 - I CALLED SHOTGUN. 385 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,953 - THERE'S NOTHING TO DO BACK HERE. 386 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,354 - SHUT THE FUCK UP, RUNKLE. 387 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,156 YOU'RE LIKE A SMALL CHILD BACK THERE, MAN, 388 00:13:09,189 --> 00:13:10,590 AND IT'S PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF. 389 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,492 - BORING. 390 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:15,328 - THIS MOTHERFUCKER DRIVING ALL FUCKING SLOW. 391 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,596 WATCH THIS, WATCH THIS. 392 00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:20,467 [siren blares] 393 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,569 [laughs] POW, MOTHERFUCKER! 394 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,471 - EXCUSE ME, 395 00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:28,341 BUT, UM, I REALLY THINK WE'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE HERE NOW, SAM. 396 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:30,043 I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE AWARE, 397 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,445 BUT--BUT HANK HAS ONLY RECENTLY FINISHED HIS PROBATION. 398 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,947 SO-- 399 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,382 - FOR WHAT, BEING A FUCKING RAPIST? 400 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:38,218 - HEY, STOP IT WITH ALL THAT RAPIST SHIT, OKAY? 401 00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:39,987 I'M SENSITIVE ABOUT THAT. 402 00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:41,554 - COME ON, MAN, I SAY THAT SHIT WITH LOVE, MAN. 403 00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,090 THAT'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU, MAN. 404 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,125 YOU'RE AN OUTLAW, MAN. TRUTH. 405 00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:47,160 - BONG, BONG. - BONG, BONG. 406 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:48,962 - I PREFER RAPER... 407 00:13:48,996 --> 00:13:50,163 TO RAPIST. 408 00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,298 [cell phone rings] - OH, SHIT. 409 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,500 GRAB THE WHEEL FOR ME. 410 00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:55,068 - OH! 411 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,503 - YEAH. 412 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:59,206 - YEAH, YOU PROBABLY WANT TO PUT THAT ON SPEAKER. 413 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:01,508 FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY. - YO, WHAT UP, MAN? 414 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:03,010 WHAT? 415 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,945 NO, SINGED FOR NOTHIN'. FUCK THAT. 416 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,247 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. - BE RIGHT WHERE? 417 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,648 - MY BOY SAW KALI UP IN THE CLUB 418 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:11,051 GETTING COZY WITH SOME CLOWN-ASS NIGGA, MAN. 419 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:13,120 - WELL, WE'RE GOING BACK TO THE POLICE STATION FIRST, RIGHT? 420 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,254 YOU'RE GONNA DROP US OFF. 421 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,123 - SOMETHING TELLS ME NO. 422 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,259 - FUCK THAT, YOU GOTTA STRIKE WHEN THE IRON FIST IS HOT. 423 00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,461 - YEAH, BUT WHAT IF SOMETHING BAD GOES DOWN? 424 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,396 YOU DON'T WANT ANY WITNESSES AROUND, DO YOU? 425 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,998 - NO, I DO WANT WITNESSES, MAN, 426 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:26,333 ESPECIALLY SOME WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS, MAN. 427 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,001 - OH, WHY, 'CAUSE WE'RE WHITE? 428 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:29,202 - YEAH, 'CAUSE YOU WHITE, MOTHERFUCKER. 429 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:30,938 COPS BELIEVE WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS. 430 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,940 YOU GOT MY BACK, RIGHT? Y'ALL GOT MY BACK, RIGHT? 431 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:35,442 YOU'D LIE FOR ME, RIGHT? 432 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:36,910 - NOT IF IT'S AGAINST THE LAW. 433 00:14:36,944 --> 00:14:39,279 - YOU LIE FOR A LIVING, MOTHERFUCKER. 434 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:41,048 - MAN'S GOT A POINT. 435 00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:42,382 - * CAN'T STOP NOW 436 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,317 * WE WILL FIRE LIKE AN ARSONIST * 437 00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,019 * NOT A FORCE TO BE BARGAINED WITH * 438 00:14:46,053 --> 00:14:47,154 * AIN'T STOPPED US 439 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,421 * WON'T STOP US 440 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,991 * CAN'T STOP US NOW 441 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,413 - OFFICER, I THINK SOMEONE'S FOLLOWING ME. 442 00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,048 FEEL LIKE I'M IN DANGER. 443 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,683 - GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE, STREETWALKER. 444 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,351 CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE WORKING, MAN? 445 00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,287 WE ON A STAKEOUT. - NO, THAT'S NOT NICE. 446 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,688 THE LADY SAYS SHE'S IN DANGER. 447 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:25,158 - YOU JUST WANT A FREE HUMMER, DON'T YOU? 448 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,095 - COME ON INSIDE HERE, SWEETHEART. 449 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,529 THAT'S THE WAY YOU TREAT A LADY. 450 00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:32,399 - THANK YOU. OOH, MY DOGS ARE BARKING. 451 00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,467 - AWW. HOW'S BUSINESS TONIGHT? 452 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,536 - IT'S A LITTLE SLOW, ACTUALLY. 453 00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,971 - THERE SHE IS. 454 00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:41,208 - ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU SAY 455 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:42,742 WE JUST--WE LEAVE THE CAR OUT OF THIS 456 00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,344 AND WE PROCEED ON FOOT. 457 00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:45,512 - STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE GOD DAMN CAR, 458 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,147 YOU FUCKING NINNY. 459 00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,316 [starts car] 460 00:15:58,591 --> 00:16:00,227 CAN I DO IT? 461 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:01,628 - FUCK YEAH, GO FOR IT. [sirens blare] 462 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,196 - HOW COME HE GETS TO DO IT? 463 00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,598 - 'CAUSE I LIKE HIM BETTER, MAN. 464 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:09,336 - THAT'S RIGHT, WE'RE PULLING YOU OVER, MOTHERFUCKER. 465 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,503 PULL OVER TO THE RIGHT. 466 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,572 WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? 467 00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,107 YOUR OTHER RIGHT, JACKASS. 468 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:15,608 THERE YOU GO. 469 00:16:27,120 --> 00:16:28,355 SO WHAT'S THE MOVE HERE, 470 00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,790 GOOD COP, BAD COP, BALD COP? 471 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,459 - NO, HOW 'BOUT BAD COP, BAD COP, 472 00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,427 BALD COP STAYS IN THE FUCKING CAR? 473 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,663 - WORKS FOR ME. 474 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,307 - THAT WAS SWEET OF YOU TO LET ME IN. 475 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,376 GIVE ME SHELTER FROM THE STORM. 476 00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:51,111 - IT'S NOTHING. 477 00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:55,715 WHO LIKES TO SEE A LADY IN DANGER? 478 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,617 NOT THIS COP. 479 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,686 LIEUTENANT CHARLES W. RUNKLE. 480 00:16:59,719 --> 00:17:01,154 NICE TO MEET YOU. 481 00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:05,292 - NICE TO MEET YOU TOO, OFFICER. 482 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,660 SO YOU A DETECTIVE? - MM-HMM, YEP. 483 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:09,196 I LIKE TO TAKE A COUPLE OF THE ROOKIES 484 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,730 OUT ON A 5-8-7 NOW AND AGAIN, 485 00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,532 MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THEIR SHIT. 486 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,368 IT'S JUST GOOD OLD-FASHIONED POLICE WORK. 487 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:17,804 - WELL, HOW 'BOUT A GOOD OLD-FASHIONED BLOWJOB? 488 00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,439 THIS ONE'S ON ME, 489 00:17:19,472 --> 00:17:25,312 'CAUSE YOU'RE AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN. 490 00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,248 [unzips pants] 491 00:17:28,281 --> 00:17:29,749 - OHH! 492 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,252 - OUT OF THE CAR, MA'AM. 493 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:35,455 - HANK. 494 00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,757 - LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, MOTHERFUCKER. 495 00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:39,359 COME ON, LOOK ALIVE. 496 00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:40,860 - WHAT THE FUCK? 497 00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,596 - HE'S REALLY PISSED. HE MISSES YOU. 498 00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:44,797 - YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHY I MOVED OUT OF HIS PLACE, 499 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:46,299 BECAUSE HE IS A FUCKING PSYCHO. 500 00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,201 - YEAH, BUT WE GOT TO TALK ABOUT THIS, 501 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,369 'CAUSE SOONER OR LATER HE'S GONNA FIND OUT ABOUT US. 502 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:50,870 - HOW? I'M NOT GONNA TELL HIM. 503 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,871 ARE YOU GONNA TELL HIM? 504 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,306 - NO FUCKING WAY. 505 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:54,574 - SO WE DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM. 506 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,875 - YEAH. 507 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:57,544 NOW I KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU LIVE AT. 508 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,379 GET OUT THE CAR. 509 00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,214 - HE'S REALLY KIND OF SWEET IN A WAY. 510 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:03,516 - HANK, I KNOW YOU THINK HE'S ALL WARM AND CUDDLY. 511 00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:04,751 - OH, NO, I DON'T. 512 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:05,818 - I'M JUST SAYING WATCH YOURSELF. 513 00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,620 - I AM WATCHING MYSELF. 514 00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:10,757 I TRY TO GET OUT, BUT HE PULLS ME BACK IN WITH THE MONEY. 515 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,226 AND, UH, THE MONEY. 516 00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:16,229 AND--AND, OH, THE EXCEPTIONAL WEED. 517 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:19,132 AND, WOW, YOU LOOK REALLY HOT TONIGHT. 518 00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,434 YOU KNOW, I'M THINKING MAYBE I SHOULD HANDCUFF YOU 519 00:18:21,468 --> 00:18:24,537 JUST TO BE SAFE. 520 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,905 - WHAT WAS I DOING WRONG, OFFICER? 521 00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,607 - YOU TELL ME. 522 00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,644 TURN AROUND. 523 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,780 YOU BEEN DRINKING? - NO, SIR, NOT AT ALL. 524 00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,216 - NOT AT ALL? BULLSHIT. 525 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,351 YOU WAS AT THE CLUB, WASN'T YOU? 526 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,787 STEP OVER THERE. 527 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,789 [sniffs] 528 00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,657 SOMETHING SMELL FUNKY TO ME, NIGGA. 529 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:45,792 SMELL LIKE PUSSY. 530 00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:47,260 YOU BEEN DRINKING PUSSY? 531 00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:49,162 - NO. - NO WHAT? 532 00:18:49,196 --> 00:18:51,798 - NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN DRINKING PUSSY, OFFICER. 533 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,733 - WHAT, THIS GIRL PUSSY AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO DRINK? 534 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:56,769 - I'M SURE SHE GOT A VERY DRINKABLE PUSSY. 535 00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:58,638 WE JUST HAVEN'T GOTTEN THERE YET. 536 00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,373 - THINK YOU GONNA GET THERE? 537 00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:02,409 - I THINK I CAN CLOSE THIS, YEAH. 538 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:03,810 - THINK YOU CAN CLOSE THIS. 539 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,878 WHAT IF SHE'S SOMEBODY ELSE'S GIRL? 540 00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:09,316 - THEN I SAY THAT THAT SOMEONE ELSE IN QUESTION 541 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:12,419 ISN'T DOING A GOOD JOB MAKING HER HAPPY. 542 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,955 - IS THAT WHAT YOU SAY, NIGGA? 543 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,390 - AHH! 544 00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,825 - CALVIN, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? 545 00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:20,693 - THIS MOTHERFUCKER DISRESPECTING BOTH OF US. 546 00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:23,296 - WAIT, YOU KNOW THIS GUY? - YOU WANT ME TO CALL 911 547 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:24,331 SO THAT YOU CAN DEAL WITH THE REAL COPS? 548 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:25,798 - FUCK THAT. 549 00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:27,300 LOOK, I WANT YOU TO COME HOME WITH ME, A'IGHT? 550 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:29,602 FORGET ALL THIS BULLSHIT. - FUCK YOU. 551 00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:30,903 - WAIT A SECOND, YOU AIN'T A REAL COP? 552 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:32,705 SHIT, YOU COULD HAVE FOOLED ME. 553 00:19:32,739 --> 00:19:34,441 - I'M GONNA TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT, MOTHERFUCKER. 554 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,309 I AIN'T GONNA APOLOGIZE FOR FUCKING YOUR LEGS UP. 555 00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:37,477 I KNOW WHERE THE FUCK YOU LIVE. 556 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,346 KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY BITCH. 557 00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:40,647 - WAIT A SECOND. 558 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:42,649 AREN'T YOU SAMURAI APOCALYPSE? 559 00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,884 - OH, SHIT. - NO SHIT. 560 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,653 OH, SHIT! 561 00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,756 - GOD, YOU GIVE AN EXCEPTIONAL BLOWJOB. 562 00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:53,326 I MEAN, SERIOUSLY. 563 00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:56,329 SOMETHING TO BE SAID FOR PUTTING IN THE TIME. 564 00:19:56,363 --> 00:19:58,731 AHH! 565 00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:00,467 HAVE YOU READ OUTLIERS? 566 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,535 - MM-MM. - MALCOLM GLADWELL. 567 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:06,573 HE CLAIMS THAT THE SECRET TO SUCCESS IN ANY FIELD 568 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:08,308 IS A SIMPLE MATTER 569 00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,743 OF PRACTICING A SPECIFIC TASK 570 00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:14,881 FOR, MMM, ABOUT 10,000 HOURS. 571 00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:17,717 [moaning] 572 00:20:25,358 --> 00:20:26,626 - WHAT, YOU WANNA SUCK MY DICK NOW? 573 00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,628 - WHAT? 574 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:30,463 - YOU WANT ME TO TAKE MINE OUT? 575 00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,599 WANT ME TO PUT IT IN YOUR MOUTH? 576 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:34,767 - YOUR DICK? 577 00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:39,439 [moaning] 578 00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,942 [screaming] 579 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,580 [screaming, whimpering] 580 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:50,550 [crying] 581 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,787 - BUCK UP, BUDDY-BOY. 582 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:57,457 IT DOESN'T MATTER. YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 583 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:58,858 IT DOESN'T COUNT. 584 00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,527 - DID YOU KNOW? 585 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,561 - OF COURSE. DIDN'T YOU KNOW? 586 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,929 - FUCK YEAH. 587 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,397 SEEN THE SIZE OF THAT ADAM'S APPLE? 588 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,698 - [sobs] 589 00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,933 - SHIT, DO I LOOK IGNORANT TO YOU? 590 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,601 - NO, NO, YOU LOOK LIKE A GUY 591 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:10,570 WHO COULD SPOT A TRANNY HOOKER FROM A MILE AWAY. 592 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,571 RESPECT. 593 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,606 - MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT, MAN. 594 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,609 SHIT, THIS BITCH KALI GOT MY FUCKING HEART ON FIRE, MAN. 595 00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,478 - YEAH, I KNOW HOW THAT FEELS, BROTHER. 596 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:19,912 BUT YOU KNOW WHAT STING SAYS. 597 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,514 - WHAT DOES STING SAY? 598 00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,383 - HE SAYS THAT IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY, 599 00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:24,751 YOU SET THEM FREE. 600 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,086 - STING SAYS THAT? - YEP, HE SURE DOES. 601 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,588 - YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME, MAN. 602 00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:30,423 - NO, HE SAYS THAT. HE SINGS ABOUT IT. 603 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,825 - THAT SAYING BEEN AROUND SINCE THE STONE AGES. 604 00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,594 - YEAH, WELL, STING'S THE ONE WHO WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT. 605 00:21:34,627 --> 00:21:36,329 - YOU THINK I'M DUMB, DON'T YOU, MOODY? 606 00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:37,897 - NO, I DON'T. 607 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:39,832 - THEN WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS FUCKING CONDESCENDING TO ME? 608 00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,801 - I'M NOT CONDESCENDING TO YOU. I'M RELATING. 609 00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:44,003 - YOU KNOW I GOT A FUCKING BROKEN HEART RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? 610 00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,505 - I DO KNOW THAT. YES, I KNOW. 611 00:21:45,538 --> 00:21:46,839 - FUCKING JERSEY SHORE ASS NIGGA, MAN, 612 00:21:46,873 --> 00:21:49,442 STICKING HIS PENCIL DICK IN MY SWEET POUND CAKE. 613 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:50,810 - YEAH, I RELATE. 614 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,445 YOU KNOW, RIGHT NOW THE LOVE OF MY LIFE 615 00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:54,514 IS GETTING POUNDED BY SOME OMNISEXUAL CHICKEN HAWK. 616 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,015 DOESN'T FEEL GOOD. 617 00:21:56,048 --> 00:21:58,718 - NAH. 618 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,554 - IT COULD BE WORSE. - YEAH, HOW? 619 00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:03,856 - COULDA JUST HAD YOUR DICK DRAINED BY A TRANNY HOOKER. 620 00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,057 [both laugh] 621 00:22:05,091 --> 00:22:06,859 - TRUE DAT. 622 00:22:06,893 --> 00:22:10,029 - IT'S NOT FUNNY! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING? 623 00:22:10,062 --> 00:22:12,732 - OH, MAN. 624 00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,634 [laughter] 625 00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,136 [cell phone rings] 626 00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,005 - OH. 627 00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,573 BECCA, HEY, SWEETIE. 628 00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:21,874 I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T TALKING TO ME. 629 00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:23,743 SHH! 630 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:25,011 WAIT, HOLD UP. 631 00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:26,979 SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. 632 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:28,381 IT'S BACK? 633 00:22:28,415 --> 00:22:29,649 OKAY, I GOTTA SEE THIS. 634 00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:32,018 WE'LL BE THERE. - WHAT'S UP? 635 00:22:32,051 --> 00:22:33,753 - WE GOT SOMEWHERE WE GOTTA GO. 636 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:37,490 [sirens blare] - LET'S GO DEEP. 637 00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:39,926 [laughter] 638 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,932 - YOU OKAY, BABY? WHAT HAPPENED? 639 00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,768 - SEE FOR YOURSELF. - IT WAS AMAZING, HANK. 640 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:51,838 IT'S THE COOLEST THING THAT I'VE EVER SEEN. 641 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:54,807 WHAT? IT WAS, I'M SORRY. 642 00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,010 - RICHARD-- - PEEK-A-BOO, 643 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,512 AND FINE WINE. 644 00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:00,513 COME ON UP, HONEY. 645 00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:02,515 - COME-- GET DOWN NOW. 646 00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,417 - I CAN'T REMEMBER THE SONG. - KAREN. 647 00:23:04,451 --> 00:23:05,652 - JESUS. 648 00:23:05,685 --> 00:23:06,986 WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? 649 00:23:07,019 --> 00:23:08,655 - IT'S A LONG STORY, AND ULTIMATELY 650 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:09,956 NOT AS INTERESTING AS WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. 651 00:23:09,989 --> 00:23:12,992 WHAT HAPPENED? - TYLER SWITCHED DRINKS, 652 00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:14,527 THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO WATCH HIM GET DRUNK. 653 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,529 - JESUS, THAT KID REALLY IS A YOUNG ME. 654 00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,565 HEY, BATESY! 655 00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:20,099 - HANK, GOD DAMN IT! IT'S GREAT TO SEE YOU! 656 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:21,734 I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 657 00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:22,735 - GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, MAN. 658 00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:24,203 LOVING THAT MAN-GINA. 659 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:26,573 - THANK YOU. IT IS FUCKING LIBERATING. 660 00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,107 - HEY, YOU WANNA COME DOWN AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON 661 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,809 BEFORE THE LAW GETS HERE? 662 00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,143 - NO, NO, NONSENSE. I'M TUCKED. 663 00:23:31,177 --> 00:23:32,812 YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST TELLING KAREN 664 00:23:32,845 --> 00:23:34,981 I USED TO FUCK GUYS LIKE TYLER BACK IN PRISON. 665 00:23:35,014 --> 00:23:37,049 DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE YEAR I SPENT BEHIND BARS? 666 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,818 - NO. 667 00:23:38,851 --> 00:23:40,520 - YEAH, I WAS RESEARCHING A NOVEL ABOUT PRISON LIFE, 668 00:23:40,553 --> 00:23:42,722 SO I KNOCKED OVER A LITTLE LIQUOR STORE. 669 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,557 THE RESEARCH WAS GREAT, 670 00:23:44,591 --> 00:23:46,659 BUT THERE WAS AN UNEXPECTED GIFT. 671 00:23:46,693 --> 00:23:48,027 I FELL IN LOVE THERE, HANK. 672 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:50,530 TWICE. TWO VERY DIFFERENT MEN. 673 00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:51,731 - MM-HMM. 674 00:23:51,764 --> 00:23:53,065 - AND WE STILL KEEP IN TOUCH. 675 00:23:53,099 --> 00:23:54,601 I GOTTA TELL YOU, 676 00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:56,235 MEN IN PRISON MAKE EXCEPTIONAL PEN PALS. 677 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:58,237 LETTERS LIKE FUCKING SHORT STORIES. 678 00:23:58,270 --> 00:23:59,572 YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST SHORT STORY, HANK? 679 00:23:59,606 --> 00:24:00,940 - YEAH. 680 00:24:00,973 --> 00:24:03,242 - FINISHING MINE GAVE ME A THUNDEROUS ERECTION. 681 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:05,044 YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST ERECTION? 682 00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,679 - YEAH, I HAD A BIG CRUSH 683 00:24:06,713 --> 00:24:08,247 ON THE BLONDE FROM THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. 684 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,982 - ELLY MAY CLAMPETT. 685 00:24:10,016 --> 00:24:13,019 SPILT A LOT OF BOY MILK TO THAT FOXY LITTLE TRAMP. 686 00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:14,987 YEAH. 687 00:24:15,021 --> 00:24:16,556 YOU KNOW, THANKS TO THAT FINE MEMORY, 688 00:24:16,589 --> 00:24:18,558 THE BLOOD IS STARTING TO FLOW DOWN SOUTH. 689 00:24:18,591 --> 00:24:20,927 THIS COULD BE PRETTY HARD TO TUCK IN A MINUTE. 690 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,662 - I HEAR YOU. - I'M GOING FOR A RUN. 691 00:24:22,695 --> 00:24:24,263 GIVE ME A HUG. 692 00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:27,534 - THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO. 693 00:24:27,567 --> 00:24:29,001 - I LOVE YOU, BABE. 694 00:24:29,035 --> 00:24:30,670 DON'T WAIT UP. 695 00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,872 - HEY, HEY, HEY. 696 00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:34,273 YOU WANT ME TO GO AFTER HIM? 697 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:36,976 - NO, I DON'T. JUST LET HIM RUN IT OFF. 698 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:39,512 - HEY, TYLER, NOT COOL. - I'M SPEECHLESS. 699 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,147 - NOT COOL. - I AM SPEECHLESS. 700 00:24:41,180 --> 00:24:42,949 - NOT COOL AT ALL. - I KNOW, I KNOW. 701 00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,684 OKAY, I'M SORRY, ALL RIGHT? I FEEL BAD. 702 00:24:44,717 --> 00:24:46,085 - YEAH. 703 00:24:46,118 --> 00:24:47,620 - BUT, LOOK, BECCA TOLD ME ALL THESE STORIES 704 00:24:47,654 --> 00:24:50,022 ABOUT HOW CRAZY HE GETS WHEN HE DRINKS. 705 00:24:50,056 --> 00:24:51,758 AND, LOOK, IT WAS JUST-- IT WAS TOO TEMPTING. 706 00:24:51,791 --> 00:24:52,959 - ALL RIGHT, MUCH AS I HATE TO SAY IT, 707 00:24:52,992 --> 00:24:54,527 I UNDERSTAND, BUT-- 708 00:24:54,561 --> 00:24:55,962 - BESIDES, HE WAS BEING A TOTAL DICK. 709 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,196 IT'S LIKE HE WAS STANDING IN FOR YOU TONIGHT. 710 00:24:57,229 --> 00:24:58,998 LITERALLY GIVING ME A HARD TIME 711 00:24:59,031 --> 00:25:01,033 ABOUT EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT WAS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH. 712 00:25:01,067 --> 00:25:02,902 SHIT JUST GETS TIRING, YOU KNOW, 713 00:25:02,935 --> 00:25:04,737 AND I JUST HIT MY LIMIT. 714 00:25:04,771 --> 00:25:06,573 - YO, AN ORDER OF ANKIO, MAN. 715 00:25:06,606 --> 00:25:07,774 - IS HE WITH YOU BY ANY CHANCE? 716 00:25:07,807 --> 00:25:09,542 - WHO, THAT-- - YEAH. 717 00:25:09,576 --> 00:25:10,877 - THAT WOMAN? - NO, HIM. 718 00:25:10,910 --> 00:25:12,945 - OH, HIM? OFFICER DOLEMITE OVER THERE? 719 00:25:12,979 --> 00:25:14,747 NO, I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM BEFORE IN MY LIFE. 720 00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:16,315 - YEAH? 'CAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE HE WAS THERE 721 00:25:16,348 --> 00:25:17,884 THE NIGHT I GOT MY ASS KICKED. 722 00:25:17,917 --> 00:25:19,318 - REALLY? THAT WOULD BE QUITE A COINKYDINK. 723 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,553 YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT JUST BEING RACIST? 724 00:25:20,587 --> 00:25:21,821 YOU GOTTA CHECK THAT-- 725 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,155 - YO, MOODY, YOU SEEN THAT FUCKING 726 00:25:23,189 --> 00:25:24,290 NAKED GUY RUN OUTTA HERE? 727 00:25:24,323 --> 00:25:25,758 FUCKING DICK SWINGING 728 00:25:25,792 --> 00:25:26,926 IN SOME REAL WHITE BOY SHIT, YO. 729 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,762 CRAZY. HEY, YO. 730 00:25:29,796 --> 00:25:31,197 YO, AIN'T THIS THE LITTLE ROMEO 731 00:25:31,230 --> 00:25:32,565 WE HAD TO SMACK DOWN AT THE CLUB THE OTHER NIGHT? 732 00:25:32,599 --> 00:25:34,901 - YES, YES, IT IS. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 733 00:25:34,934 --> 00:25:36,803 - GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO. YOU'RE HEALING REAL GOOD, SON. 734 00:25:36,836 --> 00:25:39,105 - THANKS. 735 00:25:39,138 --> 00:25:40,673 - DAD, WHAT DID YOU DO? 736 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:43,075 - NOTHING. I DID--I DID NOTHING. 737 00:25:43,109 --> 00:25:44,777 WILL YOU TELL THEM? - WILL YOU ANSWER HER? 738 00:25:44,811 --> 00:25:46,212 - TELL 'EM. - TELL 'EM WHAT? 739 00:25:46,245 --> 00:25:49,081 - THAT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE. 740 00:25:49,115 --> 00:25:50,349 - NO, HE AIN'T DO ANYTHING THOUGH, 741 00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:51,684 BUT I KNEW IT WAS IMPORTANT TO HIM, 742 00:25:51,718 --> 00:25:52,952 SO I TOOK CARE OF IT. 743 00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:54,587 THAT'S WHAT WE DO FOR EACH OTHER. 744 00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:56,288 I'D BE HAPPY TO DO IT AGAIN IF NECESSARY. 745 00:25:56,322 --> 00:25:57,757 - IT'S NOT NECESSARY. 746 00:25:57,790 --> 00:26:00,092 - LET'S GO. 747 00:26:01,628 --> 00:26:03,262 - THEY MAKE A CUTE COUPLE, MAN. 748 00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:04,931 I DON'T SEE WHY YOU GETTING SO FUCKING BENT UP ABOUT IT. 749 00:26:04,964 --> 00:26:06,899 - THANKS. THAT WAS VERY HELPFUL. 750 00:26:06,933 --> 00:26:08,635 - COOL, LET'S GET SOME SAKE. 751 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:11,203 UNFILTERED SAKE, NIGORI. 752 00:26:15,675 --> 00:26:17,109 I WANNA SEE SOME NEW PAGES TOMORROW, MOODY. 753 00:26:17,143 --> 00:26:20,146 - WHAT EXACTLY HAVE WE LEARNED TONIGHT? 754 00:26:20,179 --> 00:26:21,848 - OUR BOY RUNKLE LEARNED WHAT IT'S LIKE 755 00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,382 TO COME IN A TRANNY HOOKER'S MOUTH. 756 00:26:23,415 --> 00:26:26,986 - THANK YOU, SAM. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 757 00:26:27,019 --> 00:26:28,988 I'D ALMOST MANAGED TO STOP THINKING ABOUT IT 758 00:26:29,021 --> 00:26:31,257 FOR FIVE WHOLE SECONDS THERE. 759 00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:32,725 - GARGLE, GARGLE, YO. 760 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:34,727 [laughs] 761 00:26:34,761 --> 00:26:36,763 HOLY SHIT, YO. CHECK THAT OUT. 762 00:26:36,796 --> 00:26:39,666 WHAT THE FUCK? 763 00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:42,902 - [laughing] 764 00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:47,907 - BATESY! 765 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,942 - HEY! - HEY, WANT A RIDE? 766 00:26:49,976 --> 00:26:51,310 - OH, I DON'T MIND IF I DO. 767 00:26:51,343 --> 00:26:55,047 - WELL, GET ON IN. 768 00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,415 - THANKS, BOYS. 769 00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:58,818 WHO'S UP FOR A COCKTAIL? 770 00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:03,723 [siren blaring] 771 00:27:03,756 --> 00:27:07,026 - OH, FUCK. 772 00:27:07,059 --> 00:27:09,996 [rock music]