1 00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,642 - PREVIOUSLY ON CALIFORNICATION... 2 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,144 - I WANT TO KILL HIM, HANK. 3 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,712 - I DON'T LIKE IT, NOT ONE BIT. 4 00:00:11,745 --> 00:00:13,614 - HANK, HE'S YOU. - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 5 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,683 THE KID'S A LOATHSOME FUCKING ASSHOLE. 6 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:17,351 - DID YOU READ HIS SCREENPLAY YET? 7 00:00:17,385 --> 00:00:20,688 - NO, NOT YET. - I'LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN. 8 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:23,691 - [groans loudly] - THAT BAD, HUH? 9 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:25,426 - IT'S THAT GOOD! - REALLY? 10 00:00:25,459 --> 00:00:27,795 - DON'T YOU EVEN FUCKING DARE, AGENT. 11 00:00:27,828 --> 00:00:29,830 - I'M SORRY, CHARLIE. HE JUST FELL ASLEEP. 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,401 - GUESS I'LL JUST GO, THEN. - YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO. 13 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:38,506 - GOD, I'M SO HARD RIGHT NOW! 14 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:40,174 - HOLY SHIT, THEY'RE HOME! 15 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,443 - WHY DOES COUPLES THERAPY GET ME SO WORKED UP? 16 00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,312 LET'S DO THE ONE WHERE CHARLIE IS STILL YOUR HUSBAND, 17 00:00:44,345 --> 00:00:46,247 BUT HE'S UPSTAIRS IN THE WHEELCHAIR. 18 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,448 - I LIKE THAT ONE! 19 00:00:47,481 --> 00:00:50,451 - AAAH! 20 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,853 HOW MUCH DISRESPECT CAN ONE MAN TAKE? 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,257 - HANK MOODY, THIS IS KALI. 22 00:00:56,290 --> 00:00:57,591 THAT FUCKING SCRIPT IS OFF THE CHARTS, HOMEY. 23 00:00:57,625 --> 00:00:59,227 - YOU LIKE IT? - SANTA MONICA COP. 24 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,429 THAT'S MY EDDIE MURPHY MOMENT RIGHT NOW! 25 00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,730 - HEY, BATESY! - GREAT TO SEE YOU. 26 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,798 I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. 27 00:01:04,832 --> 00:01:07,601 - LOVING THAT MANGINA. - THAT IS FUCKING LIBERATING. 28 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,171 - I THINK I MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE, YOU KNOW? 29 00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,406 - YOU STILL THINKING ABOUT LEAVING HIM? 30 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:32,860 NO. 31 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,362 - BUT-- - ABSOLUTELY NOT, CHARLIE. 32 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,497 - YEAH, I GET IT-- - NO MEANS NO, YOU KNOW? 33 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,733 - I'M JUST ASKING YOU TO PUT IN A SEMI-DECENT WORD FOR ME. 34 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,469 - THERE'LL BE NO PUTTING OF ANY KIND. 35 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,505 AND I AM KINDLY ASKING YOU NOT TO TAKE THIS MEETING. 36 00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,207 - BUT IT'S ON THE BOOKS. 37 00:01:46,240 --> 00:01:48,509 - WELL, THEN CANCEL THAT SHIT. - THAT'S ABSURD! 38 00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:50,344 - WHY? YOU HAVE NO PROBLEM CANCELING ON ME 39 00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,380 WHEN YOU GOT TO GO GET ONE OF YOUR FUCKING BOILS LANCED. 40 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,848 - THAT WAS TWICE. AND IT'S DIFFERENT. 41 00:01:54,882 --> 00:01:57,485 I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT IMPRESSING YOU ANYMORE. 42 00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:59,320 - EXACTLY. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN A RELATIONSHIP. 43 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,688 YOU STOP CARING. 44 00:02:00,721 --> 00:02:02,523 NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THE SEX IS SPORADIC, 45 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,293 THE BLOW JOBS BIANNUAL, AND ASSPLAY IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. 46 00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,161 - HEY, WHEN IT COMES TO ME AND YOU HANK, 47 00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,496 ASSPLAY IS NEVER OUT OF THE QUESTION. 48 00:02:08,529 --> 00:02:10,198 - OH, EAT A DICK, CHARLIE-- 49 00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:12,300 PREFERABLY STU'S, WITH MUSTARD AND KETCHUP ON IT, 50 00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:13,567 MAYBE SOME WITH MARCY, TOO. 51 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:14,802 - THIS KID IS BLOWING UP! 52 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,637 EDDIE NERO WANTS TO STAR IN HIS MOVIE. 53 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,539 IN ABOUT FIVE MINUTES, 54 00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:20,574 TYLER'S GOING TO BE THE HOTTEST SCREENWRITER IN THE BUSINESS. 55 00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:22,410 SOMEONE HAS TO REPRESENT HIM. WHY NOT ME? 56 00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:25,679 - BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FUCKING AGENT, CHARLIE. 57 00:02:25,713 --> 00:02:27,381 - I COULD LOSE MY JOB. 58 00:02:27,415 --> 00:02:29,383 - YOU ALREADY MASTURBATED YOURSELF OUT OF A JOB. 59 00:02:29,417 --> 00:02:30,684 AND GUESS WHAT. YOU BOUNCED BACK. 60 00:02:30,718 --> 00:02:32,186 YOU LANDED ON YOUR WEBBED FEET. 61 00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:33,354 IF YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH THAT SHIT, 62 00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,355 YOU CAN MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING. 63 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,224 - THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT! 64 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,626 - NO. I WILL TELL YOU WHAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT, CHARLIE, 65 00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:41,329 IS WHY I HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO MY AGENT AND FRIEND 66 00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,897 OF WAY TOO MANY YEARS WHY IT'S ABSURDLY INAPPROPRIATE 67 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,799 TO REPRESENT MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND AS A CLIENT. 68 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:49,237 - NO, I-I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 69 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:50,971 BUT... 70 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:52,640 WHY IS IT INAPPROPRIATE EXACTLY? 71 00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,508 - BECAUSE IT OFFENDS ME... 72 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,976 ON A DEEPLY PERSONAL LEVEL. 73 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,246 CAN YOU GRASP THAT, SAMMY GLICK? 74 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:02,316 - [sighs] I GUESS SO. 75 00:03:02,350 --> 00:03:04,318 - GOOD. NOW GIVE ME A HUG AND A KISS. 76 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,254 IT'S MY FIRST DAY OF WORK, AND I'M RUNNING LATE. 77 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,589 - OH, SHIT. THAT'S RIGHT. I FORGOT. 78 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,858 - WAIT. YOU FORGOT? 79 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:12,726 YOU'RE MY AGENT. YOU'RE THE SAMURAI'S AGENT. 80 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,628 YOU'RE STU'S AGENT, AND YET YOU FORGOT 81 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,964 THAT TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING OF SANTA MONICA COP. 82 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,333 THIS IS WHY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU, CHARLIE. 83 00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:20,968 - WHO DOESN'T LIKE ME? 84 00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,303 - PEOPLE. 85 00:03:27,308 --> 00:03:28,609 - PEOPLE LOVE ME. 86 00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:31,612 [upbeat music] 87 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:39,587 * 88 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:16,324 [rap/rock music] 89 00:04:16,357 --> 00:04:24,298 * 90 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,669 [trigger cocks] 91 00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,904 - YOU'RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER GUN. 92 00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:33,807 - NAH, MAN. THAT SHIT AIN'T WORKING, MAN. 93 00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:35,409 IT'S NOT WORKING. 94 00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,611 - CUT. IT'S NOT WORKING. 95 00:04:37,645 --> 00:04:39,079 - IT'S NOT WORKING. 96 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,649 HANK, IT'S NOT WORKING. - TAKE THAT, WATERMELON! 97 00:04:43,551 --> 00:04:44,818 OH, I-I'M SORRY. 98 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,655 IT TURNS OUT I AM QUITE THE FRUIT NINJA. 99 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:50,358 - IT'S FUCKING SHITTY. THE LINE'S NOT WORKING, MOODY. 100 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,059 - I TOLD YOU IT WAS STUPID. YOU CAN'T JUST RIP OFF 101 00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:54,027 ONE OF THE CLASSIC MOVIE LINES OF ALL TIME. 102 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,963 - BUT IT SOUNDED BADASS AT THE TIME, HUH? 103 00:04:55,996 --> 00:04:58,766 - YEAH, BECAUSE WE WERE REALLY HIGH AND WATCHING JAWS. 104 00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,967 - I AIN'T FEELING THAT SHIT NO MORE, THOUGH. 105 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,769 - GIVE HIM SOMETHING ELSE, HANK. 106 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:06,574 - SURE, LET ME REACH INTO MY GRAB BAG OF CLASSIC MOVIE LINES. 107 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,741 OH, NOTHING THERE. HOLD ON. 108 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,743 LET ME CHECK UP MY ASS. 109 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,514 - WHAT THE FUCK WE PAYING HIM FOR? 110 00:05:13,547 --> 00:05:15,416 - HIS SNAPPY FUCKING DIALOGUE. 111 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,551 SORKIN PASSED, BUT HE'S A FAN. 112 00:05:17,585 --> 00:05:18,852 - REALLY? THAT'S AWESOME. 113 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,388 - IT AIN'T JUST THE FUCKING LINE, MAN. 114 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,455 IT'S THE WHOLE FUCKING SCENE, MAN. 115 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,823 THAT SHIT IS WEAK. 116 00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,558 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WANT ANYMORE. 117 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:25,826 - WELL, YOU WANT THE GIRL. 118 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,128 WHO WOULDN'T WANT THAT GIRL? 119 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,997 WHAT'S UP, BABE? 120 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,999 - I WOULD JUST KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER, WOULDN'T I? 121 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,534 - WELL, HE'S YOUR PARTNER, SAM. 122 00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:34,868 - YEAH, BUT HE FUCKED MY GIRL. 123 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:36,804 - BUT YOU LIKE HIM. AND HE MAKES YOU LAUGH. 124 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,406 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MAN. 125 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:40,140 - OH, WHOA, WHOA! - WHOEVER FUCKED MY GIRL-- 126 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,742 BROTHER'S GOING TO BE SUCKING ON THIS. 127 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:44,678 - YOU KNOW, I THINK THIS IS BRILLIANT, SAM. 128 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:46,480 BUT THE STUDIO-- THEY'RE NOT GOING TO WANT YOU 129 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:47,848 KILLING YOUR BEST FRIEND AND PARTNER. 130 00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:49,617 THEY FEEL THAT THAT'S THE KIND OF THING 131 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:52,553 THAT MAKES YOU REALLY FUCKING UNLIKABLE. 132 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,054 - I TOLD YOU, STU, RIGHT? 133 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,823 DON'T USE THAT FUCKING WORD AROUND ME, MAN. 134 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,725 "UNLIKABLE"? I HATE THAT SHIT. 135 00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:59,760 - BOO-YAH. USING THE WORD "UNLIKABLE" 136 00:05:59,793 --> 00:06:02,763 ACTUALLY MAKES THE USER UNLIKABLE. BONG-BONG. 137 00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,698 - WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, HANK, SHUT THE FUCK UP. 138 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,166 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 139 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,935 Y'ALL MOTHERFUCKERS FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT. 140 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,770 ME AND MY BOYS ARE GONNA GO SMOKE SOME FUCKING WEED, 141 00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:11,472 GET MY HEAD STRAIGHT, A'IGHT? - A'IGHT. 142 00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,040 - I'LL BE IN THE FUCKING ROOM, MAN. 143 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,576 - SO YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO? - UH, NO. 144 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:17,478 - JUST REWRITE THE FUCKING SCENE, 145 00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,012 MOVE SOME SHIT AROUND, 146 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,549 WRITE A BETTER KILL ZINGER. - AND IF I CAN'T? 147 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,751 - WELL, I COULD THROW A ROCK 148 00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,019 AND FIND ANOTHER WRITER WILLING TO REPLACE YOU 149 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:29,690 FOR HALF THE MONEY THE STUDIO'S PAYING YOU, HANK. 150 00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,492 - I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. 151 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,599 - WHAT'S WRONG, CHARLIE? 152 00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,701 - NOTHING. NOT A THING. 153 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,471 I'M GETTING MY DICK SUCKED ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY 154 00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:46,540 BY AN EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL GIRL-- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG? 155 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:49,943 - WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING VERY WRONG WITH YOUR PENIS RIGHT NOW. 156 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,812 - THERE ARE A GREAT MANY THINGS WRONG 157 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:53,814 WITH MY PENIS, DEAR LIZZIE. 158 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:57,685 - NO, YOU'RE JUST NOT RESPONDING THE WAY YOU NORMALLY DO. 159 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:59,653 - I THINK I'M PRETTY HARD. 160 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:02,189 - USUALLY, YOU'RE FORGED OF IRON. 161 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,592 - I GUESS I'M A LITTLE PERTURBED 162 00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,761 BY THIS WHOLE HANK AND TYLER THING. 163 00:07:07,795 --> 00:07:10,798 WHAT IS A SLEAZEBALL AGENT TO DO? 164 00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,966 - WELL, I TOLD YOU WHAT I THINK. 165 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,568 - I KNOW. 166 00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:16,704 - SOME THINGS ARE JUST BUSINESS, CHARLIE, 167 00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:19,206 AND SHOULD BE HANDLED AS SUCH. - I KNOW. 168 00:07:19,239 --> 00:07:21,975 BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM SO ADAMANT ABOUT SOMETHING. 169 00:07:22,009 --> 00:07:23,677 HE'S MY BEST FRIEND. 170 00:07:23,711 --> 00:07:25,479 - WELL, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD SERVICE THEM BOTH 171 00:07:25,513 --> 00:07:27,247 WITHOUT CONFLICT? - ABSOLUTELY... 172 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,249 I THINK. 173 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,785 - PERSONALLY, I DON'T THINK IT'S FAIR TO ASK A THING LIKE THAT. 174 00:07:31,819 --> 00:07:33,086 IT'S VERY SELF-SERVING. 175 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,189 - I AGREE. - MM-HMM. 176 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,859 I THINK YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR GUT 177 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,594 ON THIS ONE, CHARLIE. 178 00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,195 - GO WITH GUT. - MM-HMM. 179 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,764 - GOT IT. 180 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,572 - OH, UM... 181 00:07:51,605 --> 00:07:53,941 HAVE YOU HAD A CHANCE TO TALK TO STUART... 182 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,576 ABOUT SANTA MONICA COP-- 183 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,511 IF THERE'S A PART THAT I COULD READ FOR? 184 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:59,079 YOU KNOW, SOMETHING SMALL, OF COURSE. 185 00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:00,881 - NO, BUT I WILL. 186 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,516 - YOU PROMISE? 187 00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,218 - I PROMISE. 188 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:11,659 [energetic music] 189 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:19,633 * 190 00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,270 [knock at door] 191 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,772 - HOLD ON. 192 00:08:28,609 --> 00:08:29,643 [knock at door] 193 00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:32,179 [coughs] FUCK IT. COME ON IN. 194 00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:34,281 - HOW'S IT COMING, HANK? 195 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,316 - JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS, STU. 196 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:39,920 SHIT'S NOT FLOWING. - COPY THAT. 197 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:43,190 YOU'VE GOT TO LET THE CASH BE YOUR LAXATIVE, HANK. 198 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,125 - HEY, THAT'S A PRETTY GOOD LINE, STU. 199 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:48,195 I'M SORRY I CAN'T USE IT IN YOUR BIG, SHITTY MOVIE. 200 00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:51,198 - WELL, YOU GOT 15 MINUTES, HANK. 201 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,702 MY BIG, SHITTY MOVIE IS LOSING THE LIGHT. 202 00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,904 [door opens and closes] 203 00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,906 [knock at door] - COME IN. 204 00:08:58,939 --> 00:09:00,808 - CAN YOU DO ME A HUGE FAVOR? 205 00:09:00,841 --> 00:09:04,211 - WHAT'S THAT? - SAVE MY CAREER. 206 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:05,946 - I'M SORRY. YOU MUST HAVE ME CONFUSED. 207 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:09,116 I-I'M JUST THE WRITER. - AND I'M JUST THE GIRL. 208 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,684 - WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE THE GIRL. 209 00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,285 YOU'RE NOT JUST A GIRL. 210 00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:13,687 - I'M WINDOW DRESSING. 211 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,088 I'M HERE TO SMILE, 212 00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,090 GIVE TEENAGE BOYS SOMETHING TO JERK OFF TO, 213 00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,226 AND GET SEXUALLY HARASSED BY THE DIRECTOR. 214 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,062 - HE IS KIND OF A SMARMY LITTLE DOUCHE, ISN'T HE? 215 00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,832 - MY CHARACTER NEEDS TO GROW SOME BALLS. 216 00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,967 SHE'S BASICALLY JUST A DIAL TONE WITH TITS. 217 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,335 - I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT. 218 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:29,970 - I'LL SHOW THEM TO YOU. - YOUR TITS? 219 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,172 I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR TITS. - REALLY? 220 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,941 - WELL, THAT'S NOT COMPLETELY TRUE, 221 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,709 BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW THEM TO ME. 222 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,678 I MEAN, I MAY BE A SCHMUCK WITH AN UNDERWOOD 223 00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:39,680 BUT I'M NOT A FUCKING SLEAZE MERCHANT. 224 00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,749 - LOOK, I KNOW MY BOOBS GOT ME THIS JOB, 225 00:09:41,782 --> 00:09:43,784 BUT I'M ACTUALLY A SERIOUS ACTRESS. 226 00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:46,720 I WENT TO JUILLIARD. I'M A FUCKING THEATER GEEK. 227 00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:50,023 I LOVE WORDS. DIALOGUE IS LIKE MUSIC TO ME. 228 00:09:50,057 --> 00:09:53,661 WHATEVER YOU WRITE, I WILL MAKE IT SING. 229 00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:55,863 HELP ME, HANK. [toilet flushes] 230 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,397 YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE. 231 00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,800 - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE COOL, YOU'RE SMART, 232 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,969 AND YOU'RE APPEALING TO MY SUBVERSIVE NOBILITY. 233 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:05,739 PLUS, IT DOESN'T HURT THAT I'M REALLY FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW. 234 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,941 LET'S SEE IF WE CAN'T SNEAK A SMART, COOL CHICK 235 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,943 INTO THIS PIECE OF SHIT. 236 00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,413 OH! THAT FEELS RAD. KEEP DOING THAT. 237 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,148 YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING INSPIRED. 238 00:10:15,182 --> 00:10:18,318 I FEEL SOME BALLSY BANTER COMING ON. 239 00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:20,153 OH. 240 00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:22,422 IF YOU KEEP PRESSING THOSE SAVAGE YABBOS INTO MY BACK, 241 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,091 I'M NOT GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE. 242 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:26,660 JUST SAYING. 243 00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:29,429 WELL, MAYBE ONE MORE TIME. THEN WE'LL GET STARTED. 244 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:32,099 [groans] 245 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,403 - WHY'D YOU CANCEL ON ME, CHARLIE? 246 00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,907 - WELL, I--YOU KNOW, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS A LOT, TYLER, 247 00:10:39,940 --> 00:10:43,176 AND I JUST DON'T FEEL IT WOULD BE APPROPRIATE 248 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,346 TO REPRESENT YOU WHILE I'M REPRESENTING HANK. 249 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,983 AND SEEING AS HOW I'M DAMNED TO REPRESENT HANK UNTO ETERNITY-- 250 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:51,318 - WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. 251 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:53,253 YOU DON'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE, 252 00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,989 OR HANK DOESN'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE? 253 00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:59,793 - DOES IT MATTER? - NOT TO ME. 254 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,062 I'VE GOT A BUNCH OF MEETINGS LINED UP. 255 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,932 BUT IT WAS REALLY COOL TO MEET YOU, THOUGH, CHARLIE-- 256 00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:08,268 KIND OF A DREAM COME TRUE. - WHY IS THAT? 257 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:10,070 - WELL, 'CAUSE YOU'RE HANK MOODY'S AGENT. 258 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,772 WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO BE REPRESENTED 259 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,741 BY HANK MOODY'S AGENT? FROM WHERE I'M SITTING, 260 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,142 THAT'D BE THE COOLEST FUCKING THING EVER. 261 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,011 - WHO ELSE ARE YOU MEETING WITH? 262 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,146 - ALL THE MAJORS. 263 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,881 THERE'S THIS GUY AT C.A.A. 264 00:11:20,914 --> 00:11:23,083 HE'S GOT THIS LITTLE BLACK BOOK FULL OF WHORES. 265 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,251 HE OFFERED TO HOOK ME UP GRATIS. 266 00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:26,119 CAN YOU MATCH THAT? 267 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:29,089 - I'D LOVE TO, TYLER, BUT THEY WATCH ME LIKE A HAWK HERE. 268 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,959 I SO MUCH AS LOOK AT A NAKED PICTURE ON THE INTERNET, 269 00:11:31,992 --> 00:11:34,762 AND H.R. SWOOPS IN, AND AN ALARM GOES OFF. 270 00:11:34,795 --> 00:11:37,030 IT'S FUCKING TERRIFYING. 271 00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,433 - TOTALLY. 272 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,770 WELL, IF THIS ISN'T GOING FURTHER, 273 00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,371 THEN I MIGHT AS WELL TAKE OFF. 274 00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:49,042 - WHAT DO YOU SAY YOU AND ME GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, 275 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,343 WE GO GET A DRINK SOMEPLACE? 276 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,946 I COULD GIVE YOU SOME ADVICE 277 00:11:52,980 --> 00:11:56,049 ABOUT WHAT TO WATCH OUT FOR OUT THERE. 278 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:58,185 - SURE, I COULD DRINK. 279 00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,854 [lighter clicks] 280 00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:02,389 - THIS IS REALLY GOOD, HANK. 281 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,057 THANK YOU. 282 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:06,393 I FEEL LIKE I'M IN THIS MOVIE ALL OF A SUDDEN. 283 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,395 - MY PLEASURE. I HOPE IT HELPS. 284 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,331 GOOD LUCK WITH ALL THE DRESS-UP AND THE MAKE-BELIEVE. 285 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,067 - SEEING HOW GOOD THIS IS MAKES ME THINK OF ALL THE OTHER SCENES 286 00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,269 WE COULD DIG INTO TOGETHER. - WHOA, SLOW DOWN THERE. 287 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,271 I'M HERE MAINLY TO BURNISH THE SAMURAI'S BANTER. 288 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,840 - CAN I SHOW YOU MY TITS? 289 00:12:19,873 --> 00:12:22,109 - I TOLD YOU, YOU DON'T HAVE TO... 290 00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:23,543 NECESSARILY. 291 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,245 - I'M DOING MY FIRST NUDE SCENE THIS WEEK, 292 00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,247 AND I'M A LITTLE INSECURE ABOUT THE GIRLS. 293 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,283 - I'M SURE THE GIRLS ARE * FINE 294 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,485 DOESN'T EVEN BEGIN TO COVER IT. 295 00:12:32,519 --> 00:12:35,022 YOU ARE GOING TO ENCHANT AN ENTIRE GENERATION 296 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,290 OF TEENAGE BOYS WITH THOSE POUND PUPPIES. 297 00:12:37,324 --> 00:12:40,260 - THAT'S, LIKE, THE PERFECT REACTION--THANK YOU. 298 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:43,230 - AND NAB YOURSELF A MR. SKIN AWARD IN THE BARGAIN. 299 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,133 - THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. THANK YOU. 300 00:12:46,166 --> 00:12:48,035 - NO, I MEAN... 301 00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,970 THANK YOU, HANK... 302 00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:54,174 FOR EVERYTHING. - YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. 303 00:12:54,207 --> 00:12:57,444 MMM. THANK YOU. - YOU'RE VERY WELCOME. 304 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,980 - GOSH, WE HAVE SOME EXCELLENT MANNERS. 305 00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,916 THIS IS LIKE SOME SERIOUS MERCHANT IVORY SHIT HERE. 306 00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,317 - I GUESS I'M JUST A FIRM BELIEVER 307 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,919 IN REPAYING FAVORS. [zipper sound] 308 00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,554 - OH. 309 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,823 HEY, DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE POLISH ACTRESS 310 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:12,559 THAT CAME TO HOLLYWOOD AND BLEW THE WRITER? 311 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,594 JUST KIDDING. KEEP GOING. 312 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,196 [door opens] 313 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:18,465 - HEY, WHERE ARE THE FUCKING PAGES? 314 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:22,169 HOLY FUCKING SHIT! - OH, MY WORD. 315 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,371 - WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, MOODY? 316 00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,439 - DON'T SHOOT ME. I'M ONLY THE PIANO PLAYER. 317 00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:29,609 - I CAST HER, YOU FUCKING PRICK. 318 00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,611 I'VE HAD MY EYE ON HER THIS WHOLE TIME! 319 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,146 HER ASS IS MINE! 320 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:34,214 - HOW'S THAT WORKING OUT FOR YOU? 321 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:35,582 - I WANT HIM FIRED. 322 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,150 - NO, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO RUN THAT 323 00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,886 PAST THE SAMURAI. - I CAN'T DO THAT. 324 00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:40,487 THE GUY SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. 325 00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,222 - HEY, HOW ABOUT DEFENDING ME, STU? 326 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:43,957 - I WASN'T THE ONE WHO GOT CAUGHT 327 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,458 WITH HIS PRICK IN A YOUNG LADY'S MOUTH. 328 00:13:45,492 --> 00:13:47,928 - OH, WELL, EXCUSE ME FOR ACCEPTING A BLOW JOB 329 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,363 IN EXCHANGE FOR AN HONEST 15 MINUTES' WORK. 330 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,332 THAT WOMAN IS A LEGITIMATE ACTRESS. 331 00:13:52,365 --> 00:13:53,934 SHE CAN BLOW WHOEVER SHE WANTS. 332 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,602 - MY MOVIE IS GOING TO SHIT. 333 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,971 [cries softly] - ARE YOU CRYING? 334 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,306 - NO, I'M JUST-- 335 00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:02,242 - THERE IS NO CRYING IN TENT-POLE FILMMAKING! 336 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,511 YOU FUCKING MARY. GO GET SOME FUCKING PAMPRIN. 337 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:06,046 GO ON! GO ON! 338 00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:07,547 [high-pitched voice] GO ON! GO ON! 339 00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,416 [normal voice] GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, MAN! 340 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,120 THESE PAGES ARE REALLY GOOD, HANK. 341 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,922 TOTALLY DESERVED THE B.J. 342 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,423 - I KNOW, RIGHT? 343 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,568 - SO DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NEXT? 344 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,337 - OH, YEAH, I'VE GOT A BUNCH OF IDEAS. 345 00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:33,106 I ACTUALLY, UM, PITCHED SOME OVER TO THE W.B. GUYS, 346 00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:34,507 AND THEY PRETTY MUCH SHIT THEIR PANTS. 347 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,143 - YEAH, THAT'S A PROBLEM OVER THERE. 348 00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,945 - THEY SAID THAT THEY COULD PUT ME IN A ROOM 349 00:14:37,978 --> 00:14:41,348 WITH STUDIO HEADS, AND I COULD SELL MY IDEAS IMMEDIATELY. 350 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:43,583 - REALLY? THAT'S--THAT'S GREAT, TYLER. 351 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,218 - I THINK I'LL BE FINE. 352 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,687 - YEAH, YOU-- YOU'RE GOING TO DO GREAT. 353 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,457 - IT WAS REALLY COOL OF HANK TO GIVE ME A LEG UP LIKE THIS. 354 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:52,525 YOU KNOW, I'M ACTUALLY KIND OF SURPRISED 355 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,161 HE'S SO AGAINST YOU REPRESENTING ME. 356 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,163 - IT'S A CONFLICT. 357 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:58,565 YOU'D BE GOING UP ON A LOT OF THE SAME JOBS. 358 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,567 - NO, I GET IT. 359 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,235 MAN, IT'D BE COOL IF WE COULD DO 360 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,037 SOMETHING TOGETHER, THOUGH, YOU KNOW? 361 00:15:04,071 --> 00:15:05,672 - THAT WOULD BE COOL. 362 00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,208 THAT WOULD BE A BIG DEAL. 363 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:11,111 - I GOT THIS ONE IDEA WHERE-- - YOU KNOW WHAT? 364 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,413 LET'S DO THIS! 365 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,683 - WHAT? 366 00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:18,718 - I WANT TO DO THIS. I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU. 367 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,587 YOU DON'T WORRY. I WILL SMOOTH IT OVER WITH HANK. 368 00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,956 - WHAT, YOU WANT TO SIGN ME NOW? - YES. YES, I DO. 369 00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,525 I'M GOING WITH MY GUT ON THIS ONE. 370 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,994 - I DON'T KNOW. 371 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,595 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW? 372 00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:30,130 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE "WORKING WITH HANK MOODY'S AGENT, 373 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:32,065 THAT WOULD BE, LIKE, THE COOLEST THING"? 374 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,001 - WELL, I DON'T KNOW--I MEAN, I'VE GOT ALL THESE AGENTS 375 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,169 WHO ARE GENUINELY EXCITED ABOUT BEING IN BUSINESS WITH ME. 376 00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:38,438 I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE, YOU KNOW, TWISTING YOUR ARM OR ANYTHING. 377 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,573 - YOU'RE NOT TWISTING MY ARM, NOT AT ALL. 378 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:44,444 KID, I WANT TO WORK WITH YOU. LET'S DO THIS! 379 00:15:44,477 --> 00:15:46,213 - SOMETHING FEELS WEIRD. 380 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,514 - YOU WANT ME TO SET YOU UP WITH A WHORE? 381 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,249 I CAN DO THAT-- DONE! 382 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,751 - NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO SET ME UP WITH A WHORE. 383 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,586 I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. 384 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,755 BECCA? - BECCA. 385 00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,225 - THE DAUGHTER OF YOUR BEST FRIEND AND STAR CLIENT. 386 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,427 - RIGHT. GREAT GIRL. 387 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,695 - YOU'RE WEIRD, DUDE. 388 00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:04,597 - YES. YES, I AM. 389 00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:08,101 I'M ALSO A FUCKING SHARK, AND I WILL SLAY DRAGONS FOR YOU. 390 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,139 - WELL... 391 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,774 THOSE ARE ALL VERY GENERICALLY PASSIONATE WORDS. 392 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,709 BUT... 393 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,112 I THINK I NEED TO SEE SOME OF THIS PASSION IN ACTION. 394 00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:22,749 - ANYTHING. YOU NAME IT, I WILL DO IT. 395 00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:28,421 - DO YOU SEE THAT GUY IN THERE? 396 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,363 - SURE. HOW COULD I MISS HIM? 397 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,497 - GO UP TO HIM 398 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,267 AND TELL HIM... 399 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,536 THAT YOU WANT TO SUCK HIS DICK... 400 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:44,671 - WHAT? 401 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,806 - AND FINGER HIS ASSHOLE. 402 00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:50,343 [both laughing] 403 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:55,048 - YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? 404 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:56,649 [laughing] 405 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,121 Y-YOU'RE KIDDING. 406 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,493 NO? 407 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:09,762 - I'VE GOT THAT MEETING AT I.C.M. 408 00:17:09,796 --> 00:17:11,698 I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING. 409 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:14,567 - * MY BAG AND MY BOTTLE AND MY MEDICINE, TOO * 410 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:18,438 * DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M HEADED, WHERE I'M GOIN' TO * 411 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,740 * RUN AWAY FROM YOU, OH 412 00:17:20,773 --> 00:17:24,077 * 413 00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:27,680 * RUN AWAY 414 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,417 * RUN AWAY 415 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,852 [rap music] 416 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,456 * 417 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:37,857 - WHAT'S UP, SAM? 418 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,592 THEY'RE KIND OF WAITING FOR YOU DOWN ON SET. 419 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,529 DID YOU NOT LIKE THE NEW PAGES OR SOMETHING? 420 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:44,331 - PAGES IS GOOD. - WELL, THAT'S GREAT. GOOD. 421 00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:47,200 I AIM TO PLEASE. THAT'S AWESOME. 422 00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:50,103 - I DON'T LIKE BEING EMBARRASSED, MAN. 423 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,205 - EMBARRASSED? REALLY? 424 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,641 IS THIS ABOUT--OH, IS THIS ABOUT THE GIRL AND THE BLOW JOB? 425 00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,576 I MEAN, THAT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE CRAZY FUCKING THINGS. 426 00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,345 SHE LITERALLY FELL INTO MY LAP. 427 00:17:58,378 --> 00:18:00,647 YOU KNOW, I-I COULDN'T SAY NO. 428 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,216 - COULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT ME AND OUR FRIENDSHIP. 429 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,218 - WELL, AS SHE RELEASED MY DICK 430 00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,320 FROM THE CROWDED CONFINES OF MY PANTALOONS, 431 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,422 THOUGHTS OF YOU WERE NOWHERE NEAR MY MIND, 432 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,224 WHICH I THINK IS PROBABLY A GOOD THING. 433 00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:15,895 - DO YOU VALUE OUR FRIENDSHIP, MOODY? 434 00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,864 - YES, I'VE GROWN... 435 00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,701 QUITE FOND OF YOU, BROHEIM. 436 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:23,636 - SAME HERE, MOTHERFUCKER. 437 00:18:23,670 --> 00:18:25,672 THAT'S WHY I'M REALLY GOING TO HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU. 438 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,374 [car horn honks] - COME ON, SAM. 439 00:18:27,407 --> 00:18:29,609 THIS IS A BIT OF A HIP-HOP CLICHE, ISN'T IT? 440 00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:30,910 - CLICHES ARE CLICHES FOR A REASON, MAN-- 441 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,745 BECAUSE THEY FUCKING WORK! 442 00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,516 - YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, NOT OVER A SILLY BLOW JOB. 443 00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,351 [indistinct chatter, camera shutters clicking] 444 00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:39,886 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T. BUT WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE, MAN? 445 00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,754 YOU DISRESPECT ME IN MY FUCKING WORKPLACE? 446 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,790 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DO YOU EVEN LIKE THIS GIRL? 447 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:44,891 - I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT BITCH'S NAME, MAN. 448 00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,759 THAT AIN'T THE POINT HERE. 449 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,695 THE POINT IS, I'M NUMBER ONE ON THAT FUCKING CALL SHEET! 450 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:51,664 I CAN'T HAVE THE WHOLE CAST AND CREW OF A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE 451 00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:53,500 WHISPERING HOW MY COURT JESTER 452 00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:55,402 SCREWED THE BADDEST BITCH ON THE SET! 453 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,305 - IS THAT ALL I AM TO YOU-- A COURT JESTER? 454 00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,307 - YEAH, WHAT, NIGGA? YOU FUNNY, MAN. YOU AMUSE ME. 455 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,808 YOU DON'T SEE THE VALUE IN THAT? 456 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,577 YO, JESTERING IS A NOBLE PROFESSION, HANK. 457 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,580 - WHATEVER. YOU GOING TO DROP ME OR WHAT? 458 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,450 - YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON, MAN? - YES! 459 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,784 - HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR FUCKING LESSON? 460 00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,586 [car horn honks] 461 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,688 - DO NOT ACCEPT FREE BLOW JOBS ON THE SET FROM ACTRESSES 462 00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:18,291 IF YOU'RE NOT NUMBER ONE ON THE CALL SHEET--GOT IT. 463 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,193 - BRING HIS ASS FUCKING UP, MAN. 464 00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:21,794 [rock music] 465 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:25,532 - * OH, MAD HOUSE 466 00:19:27,634 --> 00:19:29,168 * WHOO 467 00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:38,411 - EXCUSE ME. 468 00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,214 - WHAT UP? 469 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:43,416 - WELL... 470 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:46,619 I WOULD VERY MUCH... 471 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:49,722 LIKE TO... 472 00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:50,990 [mumbling] SUCK YOUR DICK. 473 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,593 - WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY? 474 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:57,364 - I-I-I'M SORRY. 475 00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,366 I WOULD LIKE... 476 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:02,569 TO SUCK YOUR DICK. 477 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:04,837 - WHAT THE FUCK? 478 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,240 - AND FINGER YOUR ASSHOLE. 479 00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,742 - LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. 480 00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,512 YOU WOULD LIKE TO SUCK MY DICK? 481 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,614 - AND FINGER YOUR ASSHOLE. 482 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,516 - AND FINGER MY ASSHOLE? 483 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:18,718 - YES! 484 00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:24,524 - ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME? 485 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,793 - YES! YES! 486 00:20:26,826 --> 00:20:28,628 I'M SORRY. IT WAS A DARE. 487 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:31,498 NO DISRESPECT INTENDED, NONE WHATSOEVER. 488 00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,635 IT WAS A DARE! 489 00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:39,506 I SWEAR! IT WAS A DARE! 490 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,341 BE GENTLE? 491 00:20:47,714 --> 00:20:50,683 - YOU OKAY? - I SUPPOSE SO. 492 00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,785 THE HEART PALPITATIONS ARE SUBSIDING. 493 00:20:52,819 --> 00:20:55,054 I THINK I MAY NEED TO WIPE MYSELF, THOUGH. 494 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,824 - LOOK, MAN, I'M REALLY SORRY, YO. 495 00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,460 IT AIN'T EASY BEING THE STAR OF THIS FUCKING JOINT, MAN. 496 00:21:00,493 --> 00:21:01,794 I'M UNDER A LOT OF PRESSURE. 497 00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,796 A LOT OF PEOPLE LOOKING UP TO ME FOR AN EXAMPLE. 498 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,398 I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT BITCH, 499 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,933 BUT I DO CARE ABOUT MY CREDIBILITY 500 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,435 AS A MAJOR MOVIE STAR. 501 00:21:08,468 --> 00:21:10,069 I GOT TO SAVE FACE. 502 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,306 - I'M SORRY IF I DID ANYTHING TO ENDANGER YOUR FACE. 503 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:16,309 YOU KNOW, PETE BERG DROPPED OFF OF THIS JOINT BECAUSE OF YOU 504 00:21:16,343 --> 00:21:17,877 AND YOUR FUCKING SHENANIGANS. 505 00:21:17,910 --> 00:21:19,812 WHAT DID I DO? NOTHING. 506 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:22,048 TOOK IT LIKE A MAN, BECAUSE YOU MY BOY, MOODY. 507 00:21:22,081 --> 00:21:24,651 - I LIKE BEING YOUR BOY. ARE WE GOOD? 508 00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,419 - YEAH, WE GOOD, MAN. 509 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,555 BUT, YO, IF THAT HAD BEEN KALI, 510 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:30,957 YOUR FUCKING ASS WOULD BE A FUCKING STAIN ON OCEAN AVENUE 511 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,792 RIGHT NOW. - OF COURSE. 512 00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,495 - THAT'S ANOTHER THING, MAN-- THE KALI OF IT ALL. 513 00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,530 THIS BITCH'S GOT MY HEART PING-PONGING BACK AND FORTH, 514 00:21:37,564 --> 00:21:38,831 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - YEAH. 515 00:21:38,865 --> 00:21:40,467 - HOW MUCH TURMOIL CAN A BROTHER TAKE? 516 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,435 - COPY THAT. YEAH. YEAH. 517 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,805 - [sighs] 518 00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,042 - [groans] 519 00:21:50,076 --> 00:21:52,044 - WHERE YOU WANT IT AT? 520 00:21:52,078 --> 00:21:53,380 - WHAT? 521 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,014 - I GOT TO HIT YOU, MAN. - WHY? 522 00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:56,716 - FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YO. 523 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:57,817 - WHOA, WHOA, WHAT ABOUT DANGLING ME OVER THE BALCONY? 524 00:21:57,850 --> 00:21:59,018 THAT FELT CONSEQUENTIAL TO ME. 525 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,453 - THAT WAS JUST TO SCARE YOU, SON. 526 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:01,888 - YEAH, WELL, IT DID SCARE ME--IT DID. 527 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:03,623 - NORMALLY, I WOULD PISTOL-WHIP A MOTHERFUCKER 528 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,525 FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. - NO, NO, NO. THAT SOUNDS-- 529 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:06,559 - YEAH, THAT'D BE TOO HARSH, RIGHT? 530 00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:08,094 - YEAH, THAT SOUNDS TOO HARSH. 531 00:22:08,127 --> 00:22:09,496 - STOP FUCKING WHINING AND TAKE YOUR MEDICINE, MOODY. 532 00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:10,597 - [groans] 533 00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:11,831 OOH! 534 00:22:17,570 --> 00:22:19,572 - HEY, YOU DON'T LOOK TOO BAD. 535 00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:23,075 I THOUGHT YOU'D WALK BACK IN HERE ALL BRUISED UP AND SHIT. 536 00:22:23,109 --> 00:22:25,545 - THE ONLY VIOLENCE WAS EMOTIONAL. 537 00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:28,080 - WHAT DID THEY DO? 538 00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:29,549 - AHH. 539 00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:33,553 OH, THEY TOOK ME OUT BACK... 540 00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:36,088 PUT ME DOWN ON MY KNEES. 541 00:22:36,122 --> 00:22:39,959 THE BIG GUY TOOK DOWN HIS PANTS. 542 00:22:39,992 --> 00:22:41,394 HE TOOK OUT HIS DICK. 543 00:22:41,428 --> 00:22:44,564 IT WAS VERY BIG, TYLER. 544 00:22:44,597 --> 00:22:46,165 HE COULD HAVE TIED IT INTO A PRETZEL. 545 00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:48,635 - [laughs] 546 00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:52,472 AND? 547 00:22:54,140 --> 00:22:57,043 - HE SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE WITH IT. 548 00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:58,845 - HE SLAPPED YOU IN THE FACE WITH HIS DICK? 549 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,913 - SHH! 550 00:23:00,947 --> 00:23:03,783 YES, MULTIPLE TIMES. 551 00:23:03,816 --> 00:23:05,818 I THINK HE LEFT A TRAIL OF DOGWATER. 552 00:23:05,852 --> 00:23:08,154 - [exhales sharply] 553 00:23:12,058 --> 00:23:14,193 WOW. 554 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:17,797 JESUS, UM... 555 00:23:17,830 --> 00:23:19,966 YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I CAN BE REPRESENTED BY A GUY 556 00:23:19,999 --> 00:23:22,469 WHO WOULD ALLOW HIMSELF TO BE HUMILIATED LIKE THAT. 557 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:23,936 - WHAT? 558 00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:25,805 - I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT MEETING AT I.C.M. 559 00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:28,441 I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHAT I DECIDE. - OH, NO, YOU DON'T! 560 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,809 YOU'RE SIGNING WITH ME, 561 00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,644 AND YOU'RE SIGNING WITH ME RIGHT NOW! 562 00:23:31,678 --> 00:23:33,913 I JUST WENT THROUGH HELL AND BACK FOR YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT! 563 00:23:33,946 --> 00:23:35,815 YOU'RE GOING TO SIGN WITH ME, 564 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:37,550 OR I'M GOING TO HAVE MY NEW FRIENDS 565 00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:39,552 SLAP YOU IN THE FACE WITH ALL THEIR DICKS, 566 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:41,788 YOU HEAR ME? 567 00:23:43,122 --> 00:23:46,192 - YEAH. YEAH, LET'S DO IT. 568 00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:49,996 [cell phone ringing] 569 00:23:50,029 --> 00:23:51,798 - WHAT'S UP, STU? 570 00:24:05,244 --> 00:24:07,113 - YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WENT THROUGH 571 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,682 FOR THAT TWO SECONDS OF ORAL, LADY. 572 00:24:09,716 --> 00:24:11,584 - OH! OW. - SORRY. 573 00:24:11,618 --> 00:24:14,020 IT'S BETTER IF IT LOOKS LIKE YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. 574 00:24:14,053 --> 00:24:15,688 ASSHOLE! 575 00:24:15,722 --> 00:24:18,491 - WHAT THE FUCK? 576 00:24:20,226 --> 00:24:21,594 - HANK... 577 00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,262 I SAY THIS WITH THE UTMOST RESPECT 578 00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:25,832 AND FONDNESS FOR YOU AS BOTH AN ARTIST AND A HUMAN BEING-- 579 00:24:25,865 --> 00:24:26,899 YOU'RE FIRED. 580 00:24:26,933 --> 00:24:28,701 - WHAT? - YOU'RE GONE. 581 00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:31,037 WE'RE BRINGING IN ANOTHER WRITER FOR THE ON-SET WORK. 582 00:24:31,070 --> 00:24:32,271 - SAM KNOW ABOUT THIS? 583 00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,240 - HE KNOWS IT'S THE BEST THING. 584 00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:36,609 THERE'S ALWAYS THE NEXT ONE, BUDDY. 585 00:24:36,643 --> 00:24:38,177 I'LL BE IN TOUCH. 586 00:24:42,014 --> 00:24:43,282 - WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? 587 00:24:43,315 --> 00:24:44,884 - CHARLIE SENT ME TO MEET WITH STU. 588 00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:47,286 - CHARLIE DID? - YEAH, I JUST SIGNED WITH HIM. 589 00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:48,921 - YOU JUST SIGNED WITH CHARLIE? 590 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:51,023 - YEAH. KIND OF A DREAM COME TRUE, ACTUALLY-- 591 00:24:51,057 --> 00:24:52,892 TO BE REPPED BY HANK MOODY'S AGENT. 592 00:24:52,925 --> 00:24:55,862 PRETTY FUCKING COOL... 593 00:24:55,895 --> 00:24:57,530 FOR ME. 594 00:24:57,564 --> 00:24:59,298 ANYWAY, IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S ALREADY PAYING OFF. 595 00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:02,001 THIS MIGHT BE MY FIRST GIG. 596 00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:03,736 - HAVE FUN. 597 00:25:03,770 --> 00:25:06,272 - THIS ISN'T GOING TO BE WEIRD FOR US, IS IT? 598 00:25:06,305 --> 00:25:08,908 - NO MORE THAN USUAL. 599 00:25:11,077 --> 00:25:12,812 [sighs] 600 00:25:12,845 --> 00:25:15,782 - SORRY, HANK. - FUCK YOU, CHARLIE. 601 00:25:15,815 --> 00:25:18,117 - YOU WANT TO GO GET A DRINK? - I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. 602 00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:20,319 - YOU CAN HIT ME IF YOU WANT. - I DON'T WANT TO HIT YOU. 603 00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,054 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, ALL RIGHT? 604 00:25:22,088 --> 00:25:23,856 - COME ON, BUDDY, DON'T BE THAT WAY. 605 00:25:23,890 --> 00:25:26,926 - I AM NOT YOUR BUDDY, AND YOU'RE FUCKING FIRED... 606 00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:29,195 AS AN AGENT AND A FRIEND. 607 00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,931 [INXS's Don't Change] 608 00:25:31,964 --> 00:25:33,900 - * I'M STANDING HERE 609 00:25:33,933 --> 00:25:36,268 * ON THE GROUND 610 00:25:39,238 --> 00:25:40,940 - ON THE HOUSE, POPS. 611 00:25:40,973 --> 00:25:42,709 - REALLY? RIGHT ON. 612 00:25:42,742 --> 00:25:45,344 IT HELPS TO HAVE DAUGHTERS IN LOW PLACES. 613 00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,347 - THAT'S FOR CHANGING MY BOYFRIEND'S LIFE. 614 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,650 - I DIDN'T REALLY DO ANYTHING. 615 00:25:50,683 --> 00:25:53,586 - HE JUST TEXTED ME AND SAID YOU HELPED HIM GET A JOB. 616 00:25:53,620 --> 00:25:56,188 - HUH. WELL, I GUESS I DID. 617 00:25:56,222 --> 00:25:58,224 - THANK YOU, DAD. 618 00:25:58,257 --> 00:25:59,358 I LOVE YOU. 619 00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,828 - OH, NOW YOU LOVE ME. 620 00:26:01,861 --> 00:26:03,362 - I ALWAYS LOVE YOU... 621 00:26:03,395 --> 00:26:06,766 EVEN WHEN I'M THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED WITH YOU. 622 00:26:06,799 --> 00:26:08,601 - YOU REALLY LIKE THIS GUY, HUH? 623 00:26:08,635 --> 00:26:09,869 - I DO. 624 00:26:09,902 --> 00:26:12,071 NOT TO BE MELODRAMATIC OR ANYTHING, 625 00:26:12,104 --> 00:26:14,941 BUT HE'S THE FIRST REAL LOVE OF MY LIFE. 626 00:26:14,974 --> 00:26:16,709 IT IS WHAT IT IS. 627 00:26:16,743 --> 00:26:18,711 - WELL, THE GOOD NEWS IS 628 00:26:18,745 --> 00:26:22,081 I THINK HE FEELS EXACTLY THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU. 629 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:24,717 HOW COULD HE NOT? YOU ARE PRETTY STELLAR. 630 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:26,118 - SO WHAT'S THE BAD NEWS? 631 00:26:26,152 --> 00:26:28,387 - THERE IS NONE. 632 00:26:28,420 --> 00:26:29,922 JUST BE CAREFUL. 633 00:26:29,956 --> 00:26:31,257 YOUNG WRITERS ON THE RISE 634 00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:33,993 HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO MAKE CERTAIN MISTAKES. 635 00:26:34,026 --> 00:26:35,294 - SUCH AS? 636 00:26:35,327 --> 00:26:37,997 - SUCH AS STICKING THEIR DICKS 637 00:26:38,030 --> 00:26:40,099 IN PLACES WHERE KIND WORDS AND FLATTERY COME FROM. 638 00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:41,768 - THAT'S DISGUSTING, DAD. - IT IS. 639 00:26:41,801 --> 00:26:42,969 I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE. 640 00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:44,737 IT'S JUST YOU'RE GETTING OLDER, 641 00:26:44,771 --> 00:26:47,006 AND THE ADVICE-GIVING GETS MORE AND MORE CONFUSING FOR ME. 642 00:26:47,039 --> 00:26:52,378 OH, IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE FRIEND OF A FRIEND OF BILL W. 643 00:26:52,411 --> 00:26:55,281 - THAT'S NOT FUNNY. - IT'S A LITTLE FUNNY, MOM. 644 00:26:55,314 --> 00:26:58,217 - YOU SEE? THE LITTLE BARISTA SAYS IT'S FUNNY. 645 00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:00,887 IT MUST BE SO. SHE'S PLEASED WITH ME TODAY, 646 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,089 SEEING AS I CHANGED HER BOYFRIEND'S LIFE AND ALL. 647 00:27:03,122 --> 00:27:07,026 - I KNOW. THAT WAS INCREDIBLY SWEET OF YOU. 648 00:27:07,059 --> 00:27:09,095 - JEEZ. 649 00:27:09,128 --> 00:27:10,730 IF I'D KNOWN IT WAS THIS EASY 650 00:27:10,763 --> 00:27:12,164 TO GET BACK IN YOUR GOOD GRACES, 651 00:27:12,198 --> 00:27:14,901 I WOULD HAVE BLOWN TYLER A LONG TIME AGO, 652 00:27:14,934 --> 00:27:17,103 AND WE COULD HAVE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. 653 00:27:17,136 --> 00:27:18,905 - SHOULD WE...? 654 00:27:18,938 --> 00:27:21,440 - WHAT... - UP TO YOU. 655 00:27:21,473 --> 00:27:23,042 - ARE YOU TWO LOVELIES UP TO? 656 00:27:23,075 --> 00:27:24,911 - I'M OFF IN A FEW MINUTES. 657 00:27:24,944 --> 00:27:27,146 WE WERE GOING TO GO TO THE MOVIES. 658 00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,915 DO YOU WANT TO COME? 659 00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:31,217 - AH, TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'M NOT REALLY ENAMORED 660 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:33,720 OF THE FUCKING MOVING PICTURES RIGHT NOW. 661 00:27:37,023 --> 00:27:39,792 BUT OF COURSE. 662 00:27:39,826 --> 00:27:41,994 BY ALL MEANS, LET'S... 663 00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:43,996 LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES. 664 00:27:44,030 --> 00:27:48,067 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 665 00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:51,270 - * DON'T CHANGE FOR YOU 666 00:27:51,303 --> 00:27:54,073 * DON'T CHANGE A THING 667 00:27:54,106 --> 00:27:57,076 * FOR ME 668 00:27:57,109 --> 00:28:00,412 * DON'T CHANGE FOR YOU 669 00:28:00,446 --> 00:28:04,316 * DON'T CHANGE A THING FOR ME * 670 00:28:12,258 --> 00:28:15,127 * DON'T 671 00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:21,033 * CHANGE 672 00:28:24,170 --> 00:28:27,106 * DON'T 673 00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:32,779 * CHANGE