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The series is over
and the celebrities have all gone
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home to celebrity land, so let's sit
back and enjoy some highlights
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from the first
half of the current series.
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Would you like to say the words?
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Let's start the show!
Oh, perfect, who needs celebrities?
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CHEERING
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CHEERING
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Oh, not a bad line-up,
not a bad line-up.
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Er, welcome, all.
So lovely to see you all.Yeah.
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Scrubbing up, very nice, nice.
Scrubbed-up. Thanks for
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having us. So, Taylor and Bono,
have you worked together, no?
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Not yet, we're going to talk about
it later. OK!
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But no, Bono, you did a very nice
thing when Taylor got
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to Ireland...
I've been, I'm a Swiftie...
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CHEERING
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We're highly aerial birds, you know.
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Over the years,
we've bumped into each other...
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He doesn't want to take credit
for the fact that he's so nice
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he sent me roses
when I played in Dublin. Yep.
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He doesn't take credit...
Red roses, you know.
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He's a truly great person...
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{\an8}There you are...
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Beautiful.And he's just that great
and thoughtful, just the
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best there is.
I'd better have a drink.
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Here's the thing - Bono
and Taylor have not worked together,
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but weirdly, Taylor and Eddie,
you have worked together.We have!
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Wow, yeah. It was a decade ago.
I once died in his arms,
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in a screen test for Les Mis.
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I did not know this,
I did not know this.
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So, yeah, there's a lot that people
don't know about this story.
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Basically, I was auditioning for two
roles in Les Mis, and I'd done a
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Basically, I was auditioning for two
roles in Les Mis, and I'd done a
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few auditions and gone to New York
and whatever, and I think it had
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been established that
I had more of a look of Cosette,
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but I had the range vocally of
Eponine, so it was
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established that, like,
I was there for a good time,
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not a long time.
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LAUGHTER
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But they were like, you know,
"Do you want to come to London
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"for one last screen test?
And you'll get to screen test
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"with Eddie Redmayne." I'm, like,
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"This seems like an experience
I want to have in my life."
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You're, like, one of my favourite
actors, you're so
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ridiculously talented. Oh.
I was like, "So, yeah,
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"I'll go to London..."
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I get there and they're like,
"OK, so we really want to
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"make you look like Eponine,
we're going to...
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"You know, she wasn't, like, loaded,
she had brown teeth,
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"you know, she didn't have a
lot of money, so..." A 19th-century
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street urchin... Exactly.
I'm trying to say it in a way that
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makes sense... She didn't floss.
Exactly... They were like,
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"We're actually going to
paint your teeth brown for this."
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And I'm like, "So, you're going to
do that after I meet
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"Eddie Redmayne, right?
That's not something you do before.
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"I get to meet people,
then you do the brown teeth."
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They were like, "No, no, it's...
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"Everybody's going to meet you with
the brown teeth, we're going to do
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"big circles under your eyes,
like you're near death..."
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I was like, "This has immediately
become a nightmare for me."
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And then so... You were so nice, but
I think when I met you,
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I was like...
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SHE MUMBLES
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What was hilarious was...
is you walked in as a
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19th-century French street urchin,
and, and I was not expecting that.
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Yeah. But my overwhelming memory of
it, Taylor, was...
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I'd just been to Pizza Express
beforehand, and I'd had
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I'd just been to Pizza Express
beforehand, and I'd had
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some garlic doughballs...
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LAUGHTER
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I thought we were going to be
singing-off with each other,
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but they had us... It was so weird,
cos Taylor was dressed
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fully as Eponine,
and I was in my tracksuit...
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And they had us on the floor,
like, singing sweet nothings
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into each other, and all I knew was
I just had garlic breath.
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LAUGHTER
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Talking about
Les Mis, Samantha Barks... Yeah.
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..one of my closest friends.
Never go to a karaoke bar
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with Samantha Barks...
She's amazing... Yeah.
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I was up singing Lady Marmalade,
giving it all I've got,
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and then she just gets up
and then I was like,
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"Oh, yeah, I remember,
I can't actually sing...!"
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But she is incredible.
Samantha Barks, who was in Les Mis,
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and is amazing,
plays Elsa in Frozen,
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and is amazing,
plays Elsa in Frozen,
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and I took my kids to go and see,
and they got to meet Elsa
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in Frozen and it was the best,
like, sort of celeb name-drop
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I've ever succeeded... Can't talk,
can't talk about Frozen! Oh, no!
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Yeah. What happened?
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Came second in the Oscars to the
song.
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LAUGHTER
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So sorry. My life is filled with
Frozen fractals all around.
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So sorry. My life is filled with
Frozen fractals all around.
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It's the best lyric, it's a
great lyric, it was a great song.
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Yeah. And you should listen to that,
Bono, let it go!Yeah.
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LAUGHTER
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LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SPEECH
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And now, Kate, your underwater
stuff. There's been a lot
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in the press about you holding your
breath, and you're very good at it.
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Mm. Because Tom Cruise has been
on this very sofa talking about his
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holding breath...Oh, has he, now?
Yes.OK, I'm curious about that.
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Well, he held the record
for celebrity breath-holding,
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which is a very niche...
Very niche thing.
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He clocked in, 6 minutes 30.
You thought I was going to say,
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like, 45 seconds.
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6 minutes, 30.Which is
6 minutes 29 seconds more than
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Chris Moyles on
I'm A Celebrity...
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LAUGHTER
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OK, so that's Tom. We're just going
to see the end of Kate Winslet,
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OK, so that's Tom. We're just going
to see the end of Kate Winslet,
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seeing how long. So she's
been in the water, so you'll see
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the back of her head, it's Kate's...
There she is.Yeah.
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So, how long has she managed?
Roll it...Here we go.
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Here we go...
That's nice, here we go...
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SHE GASPS
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Am I dead, am I dead?
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You are alive, you're very much
alive. What was that?
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What do you think it was?
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I don't know, it could have
been 6:10, it could have been 7:10.
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It was 7:15.
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ALL SCREAM
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ALL WHOOP
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Wow.
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It's unbelie... What goes...?
I mean, cos seven minutes is
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so long. Were you thinking about...
dinner tonight?Yes, I was.
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so long. Were you thinking about...
dinner tonight?Yes, I was.
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OK, chop the onion,
peel the garlic...
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Count the slats on the floor
below me. I mean, firstly,
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I do have to just say this, it is
a sport, it's not something
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you can just try in the bath,
and you should never, ever...
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No, I really mean this,
you should never do it by yourself,
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because actually what happens
when people don't know what they're
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doing, is they come up and they...
You saw I did a breathing
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sequence... Yeah...the second
I came up. And then I was talking
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like a totally non-breathy person.
So what happens is, people
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come up and they go...
LOUD GASP
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..and that's when people black out
and run into trouble,
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so it is not something you can just
do, without knowing
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what you're doing. So, the training
I had was three weeks of
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training every single day, and you
learn how to, literally, change
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training every single day, and you
learn how to, literally, change
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how you distribute the oxygen in
your body, it's a very detailed,
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quite extraordinary process
and I loved it and got really,
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really good at it, it turned out.
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You know who's running a bath right
now...? Tom Cruise!
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LAUGHTER
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Yeah.
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He's got the timer on his iPhone,
he's in there.
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And it's a first-time
welcome to Lydia...
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APPLAUSE
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APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
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We've got to go with
the extraordinary success of
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It's A Sin. Obviously, lots of fan
reaction and people in love
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with you on the street
but then you got some very special
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fan reaction.Yes, I did.
So, my friend asked me if he could
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give Elton my number...
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"Elton." "Elton."
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And I was like, "Elton who...?
And he was like, "Elton John."
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And I was like, "Ahh, OK!" And then
within two minutes of sending
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that text, Elton was calling me,
and it was like 01 number...
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I won't give his number...
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LAUGHTER
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I think you can give it
to all of us!
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Let's call him now!
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And he called all of us,
he called the whole cast, and he
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called Russell. How lovely.
I know, it was so sweet.
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Thing is, once he called one of you,
he had to then call everyone!
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I was like, "Oh, my God, Elton John
just called me..."
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That's beautiful.
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Isn't that a lovely thing to do?
That's lovely.
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Then everyone was like,
"Yeah, we got the call too."
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And I was like, "Oh."
That makes me very happy. Yeah.
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But did he... He flew some of them
to LA for the Oscars party,
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didn't he?He did, yeah, so he flew
some of them for the Oscars party
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and he also invited us
all round for a curry.
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And I don't know if that's
confidential information, but...
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It doesn't sound confidential.
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I didn't go because I was away,
so it was all the boys,
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but they had a curry
and maybe an orgy.
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I don't know. Can I just say? Wow.
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That isn't where I thought
that story was going.
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My question - is "having a curry"
a euphemism?
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My question - is "having a curry"
a euphemism?
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Because if it is, I need to know
what the euphemism is,
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because I'm American
and we just don't know
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what "having a curry" means,
but I'm kind of liking it.
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LAUGHTER
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Anyway, here you are,
Lesley Manville, movie star now,
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movie star, and yet, theatre,
you love theatre.
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I mean, years ago, I saw you
in The Cherry Orchard
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with Dame Judi Dench.Did you?
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With Sam Mendes, the child
Sam Mendes.Oh, look at me.
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Oh, God, that's depressing! No!
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Untouched by time.
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And Dame Judi Dench, she has a
reputation for being quite naughty.
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Naughty?! That woman
should be locked up.
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LAUGHTER
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I mean, she is...
I mean, she is so naughty.
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Do you want to know what she did
to me one night? Yes, I do.
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So, there's a moment
in The Cherry Orchard
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where my character was onstage,
on their own, for a short time.
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Judi Dench, she's in the wings
trying to make me laugh,
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trying to corpse me, which is...
Yeah...trying to make me laugh.
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And she is...
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How can I put this?
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..she's pretending
that she's being...pleasured
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by somebody...
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..from behind.
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LAUGHTER
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So... Excellent. I'm sorry, Judi,
if you're watching,
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So... Excellent. I'm sorry, Judi,
if you're watching,
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but you shouldn't be so naughty!
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So I'm onstage,
and I can see all this,
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and I'm desperately trying
not to laugh,
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and the important bit of information
here is that I'd just had a baby,
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and the important bit of information
here is that I'd just had a baby,
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so my pelvic floor wasn't quite
what it should have been.
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Now, I was wearing a long dress,
but I...
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Judi made me laugh so much
that I wet myself.
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And it gets worse, because the stage
was raked, which means...
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So I watched my piss...
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..trickle down.
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APPLAUSE
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Wow.
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I don't think
I was there that night, no.
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Well, if you were in the front row,
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you'd have seen it go over the edge.
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That woman is so naughty.
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I mean,
you must have stories about her.
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You worked with her...?
I've worked with her a few times.
230
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,320
Oh, my God. We did a play
at the National Theatre called
231
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,920
Entertaining Strangers,
which was an ensemble,
232
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,720
I mean, a promenade production,
233
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,840
which meant the audience was in
amongst the actors and vice versa.
234
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,080
And one evening, she was in the...
235
00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:17,600
..offstage, and she could see
a mutual friend, Howard Davies,
236
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:17,840
..offstage, and she could see
a mutual friend, Howard Davies,
237
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:22,760
the director, sitting amongst
the group of people on this stage,
238
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,480
so she thought, "Oh, I know,"
so she scribbled a note,
239
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,600
and then as she passed by
to go and do this scene with
240
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:32,680
Tim Pigott-Smith, she scribbled
down, "Fancy a shag?"
241
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,200
And as she walked past him,
242
00:12:36,240 --> 00:12:38,640
she dropped it in his lap
and carried on, did the scene,
243
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,720
and feeling very smug and pleased
with herself, and at the end of
244
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,600
the scene, she sort of looked round
245
00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:45,600
and realised
it wasn't Howard Davies.
246
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,600
LAUGHTER
247
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,320
That is so good!
248
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,240
Here's the thing. The last time
Stormzy was on the show, you did
249
00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,520
an amazing performance, and after
that, off he went to Glastonbury.
250
00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:04,200
Yeah. You were the first grime
artist to ever headline Glastonbury.
251
00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,880
Yeah. And this look
is now so iconic,
252
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,280
the Banksy bulletproof vest.
253
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,840
So did Banksy...? Like,
how do you get
254
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,680
a Banksy bulletproof vest?
255
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,920
It's just kind of bestowed upon you.
256
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,520
LAUGHTER
257
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,920
I swear to you, that's...
That's what it feels like.
258
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,720
It was like the third...
259
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:27,320
Have I told this story before?
I'm going to tell it anyway. Yeah.
260
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,920
So my contact with Banksy was...
261
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:35,160
He is as elusive as you can imagine,
like, as in...
262
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,840
Is your contact with Banksy, Banksy?
263
00:13:37,880 --> 00:13:40,680
Not really, no, it's like...
264
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:45,800
No, it's not really. You get
contacted through notes, like...
265
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,480
No, it's not really. You get
contacted through notes, like...
266
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,400
It sounds... Yeah, yeah.
267
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,600
It's quite, like...
Is it cloak and dagger?
268
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,280
Basically, like in a nutshell.
269
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,360
And then, yeah, it was mad.
270
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,520
Sometimes... Can I be real?
271
00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,720
Talking about Banksy, I feel like...
272
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,680
Whenever people ask me, like,
about the vest, I'm like,
273
00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,720
"Who sent you here?"
274
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,240
Like, yeah, something, like...
275
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,600
I don't know, yeah,
I might just - zip.
276
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,120
You know what I mean?
277
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,480
Do you go, "Dear Banksy,
I need a large."No, no, no.
278
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:18,520
Anything Banksy does, that's one
thing I can vouch for Banksy,
279
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:23,000
is that, yeah, he literally
found me
280
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:23,240
is that, yeah, he literally
found me
281
00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:26,840
and said, "I've made something
for you, like,
282
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,600
"if you want to wear it,
like, if you don't..."
283
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:32,720
And I was like, "Yeah, I definitely
want to wear it, please." Yeah.
284
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,520
Really, I was like, "Yeah, please."
285
00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:38,560
And then, yeah, and then we'd done
some fittings for it, and then,
286
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:42,960
yeah, it was just very,
very, very...insane.
287
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,080
Did you actually meet him?
I can't... I can't...
288
00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,600
You can't say, can you?
289
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,360
He so did.
290
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,880
"Went for fittings," I mean...
No, no, he weren't there.
291
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,600
That's going to be someone else.
See? He was never... I swear to you.
292
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,480
Or she was never there.
293
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,240
ALL: Oh!
294
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,640
You know, like...
295
00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:08,320
Daniel, did you ever want to do
anything else,
296
00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:10,640
or was it always just
actor, actor, actor?
297
00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:12,840
When I grew up, I mean,
I wanted to be an actor,
298
00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:17,040
but there weren't a lot of outlets
for being an actor where I grew up,
299
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:21,440
so I was probably going to join
the Navy at one point, and then
300
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,560
so I was probably going to join
the Navy at one point, and then
301
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:27,760
I sort of got into waiting, and then
I nearly took a job on the QE2.
302
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,440
I would still be there, probably.
303
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,680
Is it still floating, the QE2?
I don't even know.
304
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,200
I don't know, one of them is.Yeah.
But I was a waiter, yeah.
305
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:40,520
And from about 16, I waited.
In posh restaurants or...?
306
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,440
I mean, they were kind of posh.
307
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:46,680
They were in Chester, which makes
them kind of posh. Chester's posh.
308
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,720
Yeah, but there was always a fight.
I don't know what it was.
309
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,400
There was always a time
where you'd sort of like
310
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:53,120
go round the back
and you could smoke back there,
311
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,160
and so you'd be having a quick fag
round the back,
312
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,600
kind of like on your break,
313
00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,040
and then you'd sort of hear
this "Raar!".
314
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,040
And there'd be a chair thrown.
315
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:03,720
You'd be like, "What? Why?
We're a silver service."
316
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:05,960
Fine dining in Chester.
317
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:10,280
Yeah. Live reporting
from the dessert station.
318
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:14,840
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
319
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:20,320
I saw it last night,
it was just terrific.
320
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:25,160
For most of the film,
your character refuses to feel pain.
321
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:28,400
Yeah, that's based on
the real Agojie women as well.
322
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,480
They were literally were taught
not to feel pain.
323
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:35,760
Which must be quite hard to pretend
that I'm not going, "Ow, ow..."
324
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:36,480
Which must be quite hard to pretend
that I'm not going, "Ow, ow..."
325
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,360
Look at that clip there,
you see me standing on a rock.
326
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,760
There's about five rocks under
my foot there...which is fantastic.
327
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:46,520
But did they give you a protective
thing for the sole of your foot?
328
00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:47,560
No.
329
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,120
LAUGHTER
330
00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,560
No, we were just barefoot,
just raw, the whole time.
331
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:57,040
Which was amazing because we were,
you know, we were 3am,
332
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:57,760
Which was amazing because we were,
you know, we were 3am,
333
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,720
doing stunts, in the dark,
334
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,520
taking down men, as you see,
335
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,800
and like I said,
100% standing the whole time.
336
00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:06,360
Are you fighting with a sword?
Yeah, with a machete in my hand.
337
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,920
So you've got the sword and you're
throwing him? Yeah. Damn.
338
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,560
And then after I throw him...
339
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:15,600
After I throw him, I then have to
take him down again. Yeah, yeah.
340
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,600
And because you'd done things
like Captain Marvel and James Bond
341
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,000
and stuff, were you ahead
of the game,
342
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:29,400
where you ahead of the class?
343
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,640
No.
344
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,720
I thought I would be, but I wasn't.
Oh, really?
345
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:37,440
I wasn't ready,
I'm not going to lie.
346
00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,160
I thought that,
having done a couple of stunts,
347
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,480
that I'd be able to just go in
and springboard off experience
348
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,560
but, no, this was throwing men,
this was machete work,
349
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,200
they were really heavy,
this was discovering muscles
350
00:17:48,240 --> 00:17:50,560
in your wrist that you
didn't realise you had. Mm...
351
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,800
This was working on a Sunday...
352
00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,480
LAUGHTER
353
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:57,480
Big Zuu laughed first!
354
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,440
LAUGHTER
355
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,440
He was waiting, like...
356
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,560
I saw your eyes!
357
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,600
I ain't saying nothing!
LAUGHTER
358
00:18:09,640 --> 00:18:11,080
Lay it out, I want to hear it.
359
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,040
It's just, you know, you were just,
the right hand, innit?
360
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,720
Well, I learned about all that,
so that's fab.
361
00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,680
And, obviously on the show,
there's children on the show
362
00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,160
and there's lots of extras
and background artists.
363
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:28,400
But there was one background artist
who apparently was very
364
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,760
impressed to see you. Do you know
who I'm talking about?
365
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:33,280
No.
366
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,040
Yes, you do!Is it... I mean...
367
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:40,680
There was one. She kept saying...
She got confused.
368
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,480
She got confused.
She thought I was someone else.
369
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,920
I thought she was being really nice,
and she went to me,
370
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:48,000
you're doing really
well for yourself, aren't ya?
371
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,080
I was like, "Ah, thank you, love."
You know how extras can have
conversations with you?
372
00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:53,920
Sorry, supporting artists,
can have conversations with you
373
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,760
and you're like, OK, you know,
and they have really interesting
374
00:18:56,800 --> 00:18:59,960
conversations sometimes. And she
went, "You're doing really well
for yourself."
375
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,640
"Thank you very much." And you're
being polite, do you know
what I mean?
376
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,200
And then I was like, yeah, yeah.
377
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,320
And she went, cos I never thought
it'd happen for ya.
378
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,080
And I was like...
379
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,640
OK, OK. Where are we going now?!
380
00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:15,040
And then she was like, well,
you know, after Big Brother...
381
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,400
And I was like, "What the...
382
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,120
"Hang on. Sorry, love, what?"
383
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,840
And she went, "Well,
you're Craig from Big Brother."
384
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,720
There you go, look. See.
385
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,320
APPLAUSE
386
00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,640
I love that she thought that Craig
from Big Brother was playing
387
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:39,200
the lead in...I know. It was just
one of them things. But the crew...
388
00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,040
Yes, yes, go on, Graham.
You're going to show it, aren't you?
389
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,320
Yes, yes. The crew.
What did the crew do?
390
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,000
The crew overheard
this conversation.
391
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,840
Yes, they did overhear, yes.
392
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,680
And Aaron, our wonderful DOP,
decided it'd be great
393
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,240
for on my final day, when I had
a big heavy scene with me wife
394
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:59,760
and kids, that the crew would
all have these T-shirts on.
395
00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,560
And he goes, action...
396
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,920
LAUGHTER
397
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,560
There's Aaron, the big lad there.
398
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,960
APPLAUSE
399
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,840
And Pete and all the boys, yeah.
400
00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,560
So, you're filming a murder
mystery in Greece,
401
00:20:14,600 --> 00:20:17,120
but then you must have been having
a good time, because apparently
402
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,120
when you stopped filming, you
would then go home...
403
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,760
Keep playing murder mysteries.
You are playing murder mysteries.
404
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:24,920
Well, first of all,
I feel like Covid
405
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,480
and the fact that we had to shoot it
406
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,440
and be very careful
sort of forced us all,
407
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:33,520
whether we liked it or not,
which, thank God, we loved it,
408
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:36,760
to play together. And what do you
play when you're doing, you know,
409
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,440
a part of the Knives Out franchise?
410
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,960
You know, you're going to play a
murder mystery. And so we played...
411
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,040
Do you know this game Mafia?
Do you know Mafia? Anybody?
412
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,760
Oh, my God, I know it.
They play Werewolf here.
413
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,680
Werewolf, yes.
Werewolves and Villagers.
414
00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:53,960
The town priest, that one.
415
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,680
Edward knows!
Yeah, I love that game.
416
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,560
So basically, we'd be sitting here
like we are, and one of us
417
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,920
would be Mafia, but convincing
each other that someone else was...
418
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,320
You're not Mafia, you're a
townsperson. Is this fun?
419
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,600
It's so fun. It doesn't sound fun.
420
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:11,320
It's so fun. It's so much fun.
It's hilarious.
421
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,640
I've played it.
Kate hosts these games at her house.
422
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,480
I've been lucky enough to be invited
to play Mafia at Kate's house,
423
00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,680
and it is so fun.
424
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,160
And actually, the last time
we played it was a while ago now.
425
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:25,520
It was a while ago. But Ryder
played, I remember.
426
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:26,960
Oh, my God. He was good.
427
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:31,200
He was really good, and I wanted to
straight up murder that kid.
428
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,480
It was really hard to do, because
nobody wants to kill the kid,
429
00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:38,640
but I did. Yeah. I think I did.
You killed Ryder, yeah.
430
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,640
So, does more than one person
get killed?Oh, yeah.
431
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,200
The whole point of the game is to
kill everybody. The whole village.
432
00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:46,280
Oh!Yeah. That's sounding more fun.
433
00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:47,960
LAUGHTER
434
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,200
And then you go to the bar.
435
00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,520
So the thing is, you get killed
and then you go to the bar
436
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:55,200
and you watch something really
interesting. You watch who's lying.
437
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:59,840
Yes! And it definitely breaks up
marriages. Like...
438
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:00,480
Yes! And it definitely breaks up
marriages. Like...
439
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,040
My husband and I really
don't like playing together.
440
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,160
It's like, wow, you are...you're
terrible.
441
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:08,400
It's like one of those...
You're a liar.
442
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,400
You have the late-night thing
where it's like,
443
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,160
I can't believe you killed me
like that.
444
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,320
And you were Mafia.
Edward's nodding.
445
00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:17,320
Mine would be dead.
446
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,240
Done, the first round.
447
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,800
And, Edward, you're nodding,
but do you actually play this game?
448
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:28,200
I played it on a boat and one
of the players was Oprah.
449
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,640
Yes!
450
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:31,680
Can I just say... Wow!
451
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,280
APPLAUSE
452
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,920
Way to shit on them!
453
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:39,960
You win! You win!
454
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:44,480
And Oprah, you don't expect Oprah
to lie. No!You don't expect...
455
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:45,360
And Oprah, you don't expect Oprah
to lie. No!You don't expect...
456
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,240
She won. We'd all go round the table
and just like literally try
457
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,960
to skip to the next person,
but she was good.
458
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,520
How do you kill...
You can't kill Oprah!
459
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:58,840
Even if you know she's Mafia,
you're like... It's not possible.
460
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:02,320
..we'll get her next round.
She lived till the end.
461
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,960
I'm sure she... I bet she did.
And beyond.
462
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,440
Oprah!That's so great.
463
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,800
That's the best name-drop we've
ever had on the show.
464
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,600
On a boat with Oprah.Oh, yeah!
465
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,120
LAUGHTER
466
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,040
APPLAUSE
467
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,800
Geena, Geena, lovely name, but you
spell it differently, with two Es.
468
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,680
Yes. Why is that?
469
00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:29,760
Well, I was named Virginia, after my
aunt, and her nickname was Ginny.
470
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,560
So, my parents thought that
we have to come up with a different,
471
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,760
you know, a different nickname,
and hit upon Geena.
472
00:23:35,800 --> 00:23:40,280
And then when I started acting and
I was in articles or whatever,
473
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,720
my mum said, people seem to love
the way you spell your name.
474
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:47,400
And I said, yeah, yeah. I always say
you didn't know how to spell "Gina".
475
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,560
She said, "Oh, no, I knew how to
spell it.
476
00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,240
"I grew up in an Italian
neighbourhood.
477
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,200
"I knew absolutely how to spell it.
478
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,520
"Why did you spell it
with two Es, then?"
479
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:59,920
She says, "Well, I didn't want
anyone to think your name was
GI-na."
480
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,880
She says, "Well, I didn't want
anyone to think your name was
GI-na."
481
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:02,640
LAUGHTER
482
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,120
Just so we're clear,
483
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:10,920
my entire identity is
based on fear of vaginas.
484
00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,000
I know how you feel. Um...
485
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:18,520
That was good.
486
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,320
No, no.
487
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,520
And, now, I'm losing my mind.
Have I seen you play a vicar before?
488
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:28,120
And, now, I'm losing my mind.
Have I seen you play a vicar before?
489
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,480
Um, I think I played a vicar in a...
490
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,680
Like in an Anthony Trollope,
you know,
491
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,360
sort of old-fashioned vicar ones.
You look so right in it.
492
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,680
Well, it is good. It's a good fit.
493
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,520
Well, my dad was a minister
in the Church of Scotland.
494
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:47,920
He wasn't just a minister.
He wasn't just a minister.
495
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,800
He WAS the Church of Scotland.
496
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,840
No, he was the Moderator of the
Church of Scotland for a time
497
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,240
as well, yeah.
He was pretty high up.
498
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:59,480
And now is it true the thing that
you and your father into adulthood
499
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,200
NEVER swore in front of each other?
No! Never!
500
00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,880
I never swore in front of him,
and I never, NEVER heard him...
501
00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:11,600
He was a man of the cloth! He was
a clergyman, for goodness' sake.
502
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,280
Except...
LAUGHTER
503
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:16,480
I never heard him swear.
504
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,280
And I suppose he heard me swear
in things, you know,
505
00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:23,040
but that was always "the script",
so that was fine.
506
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:26,720
But I would never swear in front of
my dad, never.
507
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:30,040
And I-I don't think a swear word
ever passed his lips...
508
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:34,160
until he came down to stay
with me in London once
509
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:36,640
to go and see Billy Connolly.
Billy Connolly was...
510
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,200
We grew up loving Billy Connolly,
and we'd have the cassettes
511
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,800
of Billy Connolly in the car, and my
dad was a big Billy Connolly fan.
512
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,680
So, he came down to
London to see Billy Connolly,
513
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:50,760
and then he came back
and started doing bits of the act.
514
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,440
And it was all very,
oh, that's very funny.
515
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,520
But then, I guess
because it was "the script",
516
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,400
suddenly he's standing in my
living room at midnight going,
517
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,200
BLEEP!
518
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:09,880
SHE COUGHS
519
00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,680
APPLAUSE
520
00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:16,400
Wow! This is the Moderator
of the Church of Scotland!
521
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,800
I'm thinking,
he could be excommunicated!
522
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:22,960
But because it was Billy it was
allowed. Billy's a special case.
523
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,720
Yes, of course.Yeah.
524
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:26,720
Oh...my Go...
525
00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:30,320
First of all, on American...
..you've got one shoe on!
526
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:32,880
Well, it's purchase.
527
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,880
I'm on a couch, you know how you
have to get purchase sometimes?
528
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,240
Anyway, on American television...
529
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,120
WHISPERS:
..you can't say that word.
530
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,040
On British television you
can't say that word.
531
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,200
Oh..
But he just did.
532
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:45,880
But we're not live.
533
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,240
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
534
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:51,720
I really hope I haven't given
you ideas now.
535
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,520
Well... Oh, no, I've already like
blown it, you know.
536
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,760
But I know you have a thing -
537
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:00,120
you don't like to eat out alone,
still now.
538
00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:02,880
Mm, I don't mind eating
on my own.
539
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:05,160
The problem is, as a stand-up
when you're on the road,
540
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:07,080
you're often forced to eat
on your own.
541
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:09,120
But what I like when you're
eating on your own is
542
00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,800
this sort of degree of discretion
because you don't want everyone
543
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,360
to know you're eating on your own.
544
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,280
And I had a situation where
I was caught out
545
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,000
in America by a little Americanism
that they like there.
546
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,920
I was dining on my own and I went to
put my name down for a table
547
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,440
at this restaurant and the hostess
came back out about five minutes
548
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,680
later and there were some other
people waiting for tables as well.
549
00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:30,440
And then at the top of her voice,
she used my name
550
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:33,440
in the most depressing sentence
I've ever heard it used,
551
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,560
because she walked out and she went,
"Jack Whitehall...
552
00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,680
"party for one."
553
00:27:38,720 --> 00:27:40,920
Aww! No!
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
554
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:44,120
Everyone is looking over to see
who the pity party for one is.
555
00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,520
I have to do a walk of shame through
the restaurant...
556
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:48,320
Right to the back.
Right to the back.
557
00:27:48,360 --> 00:27:49,720
..she sits me down at this table.
558
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:51,960
She then does that thing and I don't
know why they do this
559
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:53,680
when you're eating on your own
in a restaurant,
560
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:56,440
she makes a big song and dance of
removing the plate setting
561
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,200
opposite... Yeah! As if to say,
we don't want anyone looking over
562
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,640
and thinking that someone might be
able to sit down opposite you.
563
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:05,200
That is so true, they do always do
that.Why? Why do they do that?
564
00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,400
Then she came back with a menu,
by which point I was like,
565
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:08,960
this woman is taking the piss.
566
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,520
She puts the menu down
in front of me,
567
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:12,760
she goes, "Well, you're not going
to be interested in this first
568
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:15,240
"page because this is all of
our sharing plates."
569
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,200
I get it, I haven't got any friends.
570
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,320
She goes, "Here we are, sir,
this is more your area here.
571
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:23,040
"Wines by the glass."
572
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,920
I was like, "Oh, madam,
how wrong you are. I'm British.
573
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:29,360
"I may eat for a party of one
but I drink for a party of five!"
574
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,800
AUDIENCE CHEER AND APPLAUDS
575
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,200
Erm...
576
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,800
Oh, my God!
577
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,360
Erm...Can I just say,
what's worse -
578
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,360
I'm just going to completely,
I'll come back to...
579
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,360
Yeah, yeah do, yeah.
We'll come back to you. OK.
580
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,520
What's worse is when you're on a
plane... Yeah?
581
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,560
..and...
You have to eat on your own then.
582
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,280
No, no, no, well... But you're on a
plane and they say,
583
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,480
wait for it, "Muslim meal."
584
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,080
No! Muslim meal!
I'm like, are you for real?
585
00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:57,560
I'm on a plane!
586
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,680
Like, what?!
587
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,280
And you have everyone just go...
588
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,920
Travelling alone. I'm like, what?!
589
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,280
AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND APPLAUDS
Come on!
590
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,400
Yeah, yeah, same thing.
591
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,240
That is worse.That is worse.
That is worse.
592
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,480
That is worse.That is worse.
I have never had that experience!
593
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,960
And George Takei,
Star Trek legend but...
594
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,280
AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
Yes, but...Yes!
595
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,440
You can still do it.
Live long and prosper.
596
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,880
Yes, you can still do it.
597
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:29,680
But the weird thing is you have a
catchphrase and it's not that.
598
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:32,640
I mean your catchphrases isn't
even from Star Trek?
599
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,840
No, it's from a shock jock
600
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:37,880
named Howard Stern.
601
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:39,640
Yeah. Yeah.
602
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:44,120
He's a dear friend and he's been
a partner of ours,
603
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:48,400
my husband Brad, in talking up
equality for LGBT people.
604
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:50,760
my husband Brad, in talking up
equality for LGBT people.
605
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:52,720
AUDIENCE CHEERS
And, uh...
606
00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:54,960
But I had never met him.
607
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,920
When I was first invited
to do his show,
608
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:02,680
I was doing a play in New York and
when you're doing a play,
609
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:04,960
the publicist gives you
your assignment.
610
00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,320
Yeah.So I went to that
address on Madison Avenue.
611
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,840
They asked me to wait on a
couch sort of like this
612
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:12,920
They asked me to wait on a
couch sort of like this
613
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:17,000
and they had the radio on and I was
looking through magazines
614
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,080
and I thought...
615
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,320
that show that they have
on is disgusting.
616
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,240
It's vile conversation.
617
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:28,360
So I said to the person sitting next
to me waiting, I said,
618
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:32,080
"Why can't we have good music here?
This is terrible"
619
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:36,840
And she said, "That's the show
we're waiting to go on."
620
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:38,680
THEY LAUGH
621
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,680
And then right on cue,
the receptionist came,
622
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:43,840
ushered me into the studio.
623
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,280
I walked in and there's this tall,
wild haired,
624
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,680
horn rimmed glassed guy.
625
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:54,000
And I said, "Good morning". And he
says, "You have a deep voice.
626
00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,000
"A voice like that must have
a big dong below."
627
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,920
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
628
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,840
I asked, "Are we on the air?"
629
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,000
And he said, "Yep".
630
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,640
And I said...
IN DEEP VOICE:Oh, my...
631
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:17,680
And he had it on tape and so whether
I'm there on the show or not,
632
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:17,920
And he had it on tape and so whether
I'm there on the show or not,
633
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,800
when someone said something or does
something outrageous,
634
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,200
he presses a button
and my voice comes on.
635
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,040
"Oh, my..."
636
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,360
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
637
00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:31,440
It has become my signature.
638
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:35,040
Very good. And now where did
the music come from?
639
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:39,480
Ooh... Um... Where did the music
come from?
640
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:43,160
Well, my mum and dad actually met
onstage doing Pirates of Penzance.
641
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,240
Hello!So... Wow! Yeah.
642
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,800
..probably there, but my mum's not
a great singer.
643
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,040
My dad... My mum was one
of the maids
644
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,640
and my dad was the pirate king.
645
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,280
O-K.
646
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,560
Hell, yeah. And here I am. So...
647
00:31:55,600 --> 00:31:56,960
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
648
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:01,240
No, I say it because you are a great
singer and we've heard you sing
649
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:01,320
No, I say it because you are a great
singer and we've heard you sing
650
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,800
and now there's this clip that has
been out in the world.
651
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,440
How is it out in the world? Did the
school release it or something?
652
00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,080
Yeah. Yeah... So this is a school
production of Phantom of the Opera?
653
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,400
Whoa! The first-ever amateur
production in Ireland.
654
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,160
Were you the Phantom? I was the
Phantom. Stop it! Yes.Yeah.
655
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:19,120
Get in! Yeah. Now, remember,
this is a school production.
656
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,840
I don't know what school
you went to but, uh...
657
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,040
The production values,
I think, are quite high.
658
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,000
I think probably people...Yeah.
..have seen professional productions
659
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:31,200
not as good. So this is
Paul Mescal as...
660
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,080
Oh, now, do you remember the name
of the lady?Jessica Hackett.
661
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,080
Jessica Hackett,
it was on the tip of my tongue.
662
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,160
I knew I knew her. Uh...
663
00:32:39,200 --> 00:32:42,920
Paul Mescal and Jessica Hackett in
Phantom Of The Opera - enjoy.
664
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,040
MUSIC PLAYS
Look at this, come on, look at this!
665
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,160
Is that real fire?
No, it's a like a...
666
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:51,000
Like a screen? Look at that mask!
667
00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,040
I'm guessing that's a wig.
Yes, yes.
668
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:56,840
HE LAUGHS
Oh, I hope she doesn't faint.
669
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:59,680
She might faint,
I hope she doesn't faint.
670
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:01,640
Look how long my hands are.
671
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,160
AUDIENCE LAUGHS
672
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,120
You're both feeling this... Yeah.
So much.
673
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,960
Oh, no, I think she's getting a bit
faint, she might go, she's...
674
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,800
Oh!
675
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,520
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
676
00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:13,000
It's very good.
677
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,560
AUDIENCE CHEERS
678
00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:16,240
Urgh! But...
679
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:22,400
But I was wondering, so famously,
Phantom Of The Opera,
680
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,760
at the end of Act 1, a chandelier
comes crashing down to the stage.
681
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,640
It's supposed to come cra-, like
swooping in. Yeah.
682
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:30,200
Big dramatic moment. Yeah.
683
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:31,920
But that's where the
production values -
684
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,760
we'd use them all like on the, like,
candles, clearly. Yes.
685
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,080
But we did have...
686
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,080
a kind of ramshackle...
687
00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:42,000
I tell you what, I'll fast forward
it. Here is, uh...
688
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,040
So talk us through this.
So you went for slow motion?
689
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,400
Well, we didn't have an option
because that's how... Oh, wow!
690
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,800
..fast it moved.
The stage...!
691
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,200
These stars are giving it their all.
692
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,560
Yeah.
693
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:57,560
Yeah.
EXAGGERATEDLY SLOW: Oh, no!
694
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:00,920
Look at them, they're so good.
695
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,840
Best single work we have.
696
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,920
Oh... It's something.
..it's still going.
697
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,480
Yeah. Still going.
698
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,760
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS
699
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:10,160
Ooh... Wait a second, wait, wait,
wait, and...
700
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,280
it's hitting the stage...
701
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,400
..now! There you go!
702
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:17,480
AUDIENCE CHEERS AND APPLAUDS
Very good. Very good.
703
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,840
It was impressive. I know, they
built it in the school hall.
704
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,880
It was crazy. That was evocative
and safe. Yeah. Moving!
705
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,680
Where did you shoot? It was so
beautiful.
706
00:34:27,720 --> 00:34:29,480
Oh, so beaut-, it was so stunning.
707
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:32,320
Inis Mor, uh, in the Aran Islands
off Galway,
708
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:35,440
and then Achill Island,
which is further - a little bit up.
709
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:39,060
And it was a combination of the
two and we stayed there for...
710
00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:41,560
On the island, 750 people.
Heaven. Mm.
711
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,680
Three weeks and so...
Fab! We'd be, you know...
712
00:34:44,720 --> 00:34:47,360
meeting each other on the road
on our day off...
713
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:49,160
THEY LAUGH
714
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:50,600
So it merged into it, yeah.
715
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,760
But there were tourists there?
Yeah, there was.
716
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,600
On any given day during the summer,
717
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,000
there could be 2,000 tourists
coming in on boats and planes
718
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,440
and cycling around, renting the
bicycles and horses.
719
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,120
He had a...he had a... Stop!
..an interesting kind of, uh...
720
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:03,400
Shut up.
721
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,120
THEY LAUGH
722
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:08,240
They have horse-drawn, you know,
carts that they kind of carry
723
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:12,280
tourists around and stuff
and Colin, as he likes to do,
724
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,200
went down for a jog.
725
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,800
I'll let you tell it.
No, carry on.
726
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,200
No, I was just going for a j-...
and it was a warm summer's day
727
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,720
and I had my shirt off, I'm
jogging in me little runner shorts,
728
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:23,880
with a slit up here. Yeah, got you.
Only a couple of inches.
729
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,360
Moving along. And, yeah, one day
there was a horse and cart
730
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:28,720
and there were six people on the
back of it and all of a sudden,
731
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,760
I noticed that they were only
keeping ten feet ahead of me
732
00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:33,480
with all their cellphones
up on the video.
733
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:35,760
So I stopped and pretend
to have a bit of a stretch
734
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:37,120
and touch my toes and that,
735
00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:39,120
and they'd stop, and then I go,
"For f..."
736
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:41,560
So I'd start running again
and then they'd take off again.
737
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,040
So, for about an hour
we kept about ten feet apart,
738
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,640
and then I thought,
"Ah, feck this. I see a hill coming.
739
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:49,440
"There's no way the horse can get up
that hill as fast as I can run."
740
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,080
Well, we were neck and neck
for about half a mile.
741
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:53,840
LAUGHTER
742
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:55,920
We were neck and neck
for about half a mile.
743
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:58,880
Just before we got to the
centre of town...the horse...
744
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,080
..the horse took it,
the horse took it.
745
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:04,200
That's you guys there,
that's you guys there.Thank you.
746
00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,800
Welcome, all! Welcome, all!
747
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,680
Lovely to see you. Have you
come straight from rehearsal?
748
00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:10,920
Oh, it's exhausting!
749
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:13,840
Yes, we have. We have come
straight from rehearsal.
750
00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:15,920
We've got a few days left.
751
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,640
Oh, it's fun and games!
752
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,400
You haven't started yet, Ian!
753
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,200
Apart from this show, when did
you last do a pantomime?
754
00:36:23,240 --> 00:36:24,840
Er, in 19...
755
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:26,600
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
756
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:30,160
Ouch!
757
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,360
It was...1990.
758
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:34,400
And were you...?
759
00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:36,160
1990 in Harrogate.
760
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,680
Were you in a frock?
No. No. I played...Rollo, I think.
761
00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:41,520
Were you in a frock?
No. No. I played...Rollo, I think.
762
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,040
Thigh boots?
No, no. I think we had...
763
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,680
I think I wore... What do you call
those things? Knickerbockers?
764
00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,600
Ah. I think I had those on, yes.
765
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,840
Was that the attraction of doing
the...?
766
00:36:51,880 --> 00:36:54,040
It was a job, Ian. It was a job!
767
00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:55,120
LAUGHTER
768
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:57,480
That was the attraction.
769
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:02,400
So, this production of Mother Goose,
what makes it special?
770
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,640
It sounds like you've thrown
everything at this.
771
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:05,960
It's got it all.
772
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,200
HE SIGHS
Well...
773
00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,600
I went to the management
774
00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:13,920
and I said, "Before I finish,
I want to play a dame once more."
775
00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:17,880
I have played Widow Twankey
in Aladdin. With great success.
776
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:19,800
Thank you. And as the saying goes,
777
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:22,800
"Once they've seen your Twankey,
can a Goose be far behind?"
778
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,200
LAUGHTER
779
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:31,200
APPLAUSE
780
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,280
But Mother Goose is
the great part for a dame,
781
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:43,760
because it's at the centre of the
story. It is not on the adjunct.
782
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,760
It's all about a woman who is
not quite happy with her lot,
783
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:51,800
and has her wishes granted. And...
we'll see what happens.
784
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,320
And, John, who do you play?
I play...
785
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,320
I play Mother Goose's husband.
786
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,080
Very good.Yes. Called what?
I only... I only found...
787
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,120
I'm called Vic. Vic Goose.
788
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:08,200
And I only found out,
here, in the research chat here,
789
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:11,840
that I am Ian's
first-ever stage husband.
790
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:13,480
Well, now!
791
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:15,440
CHEERING
792
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,320
And I...
793
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:21,040
I'm John Bishop's first...
794
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,120
..er...stage wife.
795
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:24,800
CHEERING
796
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:26,800
No, but the others have been women.
797
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,480
LAUGHTER
798
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:35,280
No, it's about our relationship,
it's about...
799
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:39,160
It's about fame, it's about money,
it's about chasing your dreams
800
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,080
and realising they're not the same.
801
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,680
And mixed in that, there's some
knob gags and singing and dancing.
802
00:38:44,720 --> 00:38:46,360
LAUGHTER
803
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,560
And, Mo, is it really - you were
kind of performing music
804
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,120
before you ever turned to comedy?
805
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,120
Oh, yeah. Like, my dad
is very musical.
806
00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,520
So, like, in the show I do...
I've got a show.
807
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,920
And basically we do this thing
called Nursery Grimes.
808
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,840
So we get a nursery rhyme
and we get a song. So, like...
809
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,120
Just classic nursery rhymes. But
we do a different rendition of it.
810
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,840
Obviously, my dad is a Rastafarian,
811
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:14,800
so we do his Rastafarian take
on it.
812
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:16,800
So instead of "the wheels
on the bus", it's...
813
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,200
# Da wheels on da bus
go around and around! #
814
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:22,400
It's... It's like when
I do, like, comedy shows now,
815
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:23,880
I have it on my Netflix special.
816
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,600
So people are like,
"Go on, do the rhyme,"
817
00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,240
cos I have it in the special.
I'm like, "No, I can't just do it."
818
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:31,640
I'll be in Tesco and I'm like...
819
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:34,080
"The bags are 30p already..."
LAUGHTER DROWNS WORDS
820
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,240
"Do the rhyme." I'm like,
"No, I don't want to do it."
821
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,560
And before you know it, I'm...
822
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:40,080
# Old MacDonald,
him sat on da farm... #
823
00:39:41,640 --> 00:39:44,160
Bruce,
you've been singing professionally.
824
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:47,240
Next year you will have been singing
professionally for 50 years,
825
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,960
ladies and gentlemen.
Wow!Five decades.
826
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,360
Actually... Oh, is it more?
827
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,360
Yeah, actually...
828
00:39:54,400 --> 00:39:57,440
Actually, I've been singing for 60.
829
00:39:57,480 --> 00:39:59,320
LAUGHTER
830
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,120
I've been playing with my band,
in a year, for 50 years.
831
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,720
50 years.
Oh, THAT'S the 50, OK.
832
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,920
That's tricky. Imagine this -
833
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:12,200
the same people...that you went
to high school with,
834
00:40:12,240 --> 00:40:14,520
all of the same people...
835
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:15,600
That's so sweet.
836
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,360
..for the rest of your life.
837
00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:19,000
LAUGHTER
838
00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:22,560
For the rest of your life you work
with them every day.
839
00:40:22,600 --> 00:40:25,880
And no-one can be replaced
or changed.
840
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,120
Oh...
841
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,160
Tell me, when did...
when did the thing...?
842
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,240
Your crowds do this now.
They have signs with the songs
843
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,680
they want to hear.
When did this start?
844
00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:38,360
I don't know. 10, 15 years ago
people started to...
845
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,520
It was my fault,
because I started to play requests.
846
00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:45,400
So people started to bring signs
about what they wanted to hear.
847
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,840
And...to keep the band from
getting too comfortable,
848
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,360
I would pull these signs
out of the audience,
849
00:40:52,400 --> 00:40:55,360
show them to the band and we would
play them. You know.
850
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,760
But it's not always your songs!
No, it can be anything...
851
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,880
LAUGHTER
852
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,480
The poor band is like, "My God..."
853
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:05,640
"Here, Bruce,
do The Wheels On The Bus, mate.
854
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,200
"Do The Wheels On The Bus."
855
00:41:07,240 --> 00:41:11,640
I going to tell you, I have done
The Wheels On The Bus many times!
856
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:11,840
I going to tell you, I have done
The Wheels On The Bus many times!
857
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:13,600
I have three kids,
858
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,800
and I have sung Wheels
On The Bus, not with that accent,
859
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,320
but many times!
860
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:23,000
And tell me about... Wasn't there a
man who wanted to hear Drift Away?
861
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,840
Do you know the man I'm talking
about? He had a sign?I do.
862
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:27,600
Tell the people what the sign said.
863
00:41:27,640 --> 00:41:31,680
It said, "I will give my left
testicle to hear Drift Away."
864
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,400
To whom?
865
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:35,240
LAUGHTER
866
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:38,280
That is the question. That's a good
question. That is the question.
867
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,560
I certainly didn't want
to be responsible for it,
868
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:42,360
so we played Drift Away.
869
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:45,640
Now, talking of fans,
you play the songs for the fans,
870
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,240
but you do seem
to go above and beyond.
871
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:50,920
This was, I think, earlier,
back in the '80s, I think.
872
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:52,960
Do you know the story
where you were...?
873
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,480
I think you were at a cinema.Yeah.
Was it in Denver?
874
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,160
St Louis. St Louis.
875
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,160
You were in the cinema
in St Louis. Take it away.
876
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,640
Unless it's a different story.
No... Unless it's a different story,
877
00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:06,440
and you're thinking, "He can't
want me to tell this story!"
878
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:10,200
I was in a cinema by myself
on an off night from the tour
879
00:42:10,240 --> 00:42:14,840
in St Louis watching
Woody Allen's Stardust Memories...
880
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:16,200
OK.
881
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:20,680
..during which Woody Allen is not
necessarily so kind to his fans
882
00:42:20,720 --> 00:42:21,480
..during which Woody Allen is not
necessarily so kind to his fans
883
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,000
in the film.
884
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,000
So, I had met a kid in the lobby.
885
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:27,640
He was there with his girlfriend.
886
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:30,400
And he said, "Do you want
to sit with us?"
887
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,840
So I said, "OK."
888
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:37,000
See? Already, I'm just thinking
that's just a hard no. Isn't it?
889
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:39,440
"Do you want to sit with us?""No."
"No! I don't."
890
00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:41,920
But no, you did it.
You're lovely, you went and sat...
891
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:44,160
So I went and I sat.
And we watched the movie.
892
00:42:44,200 --> 00:42:47,760
And he says, "Is that how you feel
about your fans?"
893
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,760
So I said, "Well...not so much."
894
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:53,880
He says, "I'm going to go home now.
895
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,600
"Will you come home and meet
my parents?"
896
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:57,960
You didn't?
897
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,600
I said, "OK."
898
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,040
Oh, I love that.
899
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:06,040
And so, I went somewhere
in St Louis
900
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:08,120
with this kid.
901
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,560
And we walked in the door.
902
00:43:10,600 --> 00:43:13,320
And it's about 11 o'clock
at night.
903
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,640
And he says, "Mom, Mom!
904
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:19,720
"I have Bruce Springsteen with me."
905
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:21,480
And she goes, "Who?"
906
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,440
No!
907
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:27,400
And he runs in his bedroom
and he comes out with the album
908
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,680
and shows her the album cover.
909
00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:31,720
He says, "Bruce Springsteen."
910
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:34,360
And of course, then she goes,
"Oh, my God!
911
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,160
"Let me make him some eggs."
912
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,680
LAUGHTER
913
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,040
And so around midnight, I was
sitting in a little house
914
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:46,040
in St Louis having some eggs with
this kid and his mom and...
915
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:50,960
And I saw them for decades after
that every time we came to town.
916
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:51,160
And I saw them for decades after
that every time we came to town.
917
00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,320
Oh! What a story!
918
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,160
APPLAUSE
919
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:57,520
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr Bruce Springsteen!
920
00:43:57,560 --> 00:43:59,000
CHEERING
921
00:43:59,040 --> 00:44:00,560
Oh, yeah!