Oh, you lovely people!
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Hello!
Good evening, everyone!
Oh!
You are so welcome to the show!
It's Friday night and, like a bare bottom on a photocopier
at a Christmas party, I'm back!
We've a great line-up for you.
Over on our music stage, singing for us later,
it's Flo, everybody!
Yeah!
They're going to be singing Access All Areas.
But who's got access to my sofa tonight?
Well, he's best known for his outstanding performance
as Roman Roy in the hit HBO series Succession which, after four
seasons, culminated in his first Emmy and Golden Globe wins.
Now he's taking to the big screen in the comedy
road movie A Real Pain.
It's Kieran Culkin!
There he is!
Lovely to see you.
Sit down.
That's who that is, yeah!
As an actor, he was Oscar-nominated for his portrayal of Facebook
founder Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network and,
as a writer and director, he brings us the very personal
family comedy A Real Pain in which he co-stars with Kieran.
It's Jesse Eisenberg!
Yeah!
Nice to see you.
Have a seat.
This Galway Girl made her name as Clare in the smash hit.
Derry Girls before going all high society as Penelope in Bridgerton
and even fulfilling her childhood dream of being a Barbie Girl.
Now she's travelling through time and space
for Christmas with Doctor Who.
It's Nicola Coughlan!
Oh!
Hello.
They love you!
Nicola Coughlan, everybody!
And this British star has played an intrepid journalist
in Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, the super-sleuth Benoit Blanc
in Knives Out and even briefly dabbled in the world of spies.
Now he's exploring love, loss and loneliness
in the acclaimed new drama Queer.
It's Mr Daniel Craig!
Hello.
Have a seat.
Lovely to see you all, hello, hello.
Last time I was here, it was Covid and we weren't that close.
Now they're breathing all over you!
You can feel their breath.
Lovely!
And a first-time welcome to Jesse and Kieran.
I've actually been on your show before.
Nice memory, good.
Glad that you can remember me!
So we have.
We did the radio together.
We did that, that was a couple of years ago, but around 2002, 2003.
As a matter of fact, I think we have pictures of it.
Really?
I think so.
Oh, my God!
No wonder you don't remember!
That was me?
Jesus!
Get that away!
There we go!
Oh, my God!
Is this 50 years ago?
45, 50.
One of us has aged slightly worse than the other!
Now, if Nicola looks a little windswept, it's
because you rushed here from, was it the set of Bridgerton?
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So literally the plan was, I was, like, I was picked up by, like,
4am and then I got in and I was, like, I've got to get the week off,
I've got to get on the bike!
I've never been on a motorbike before and I felt really excited
until I got on it and then I wanted to die.
We've got a picture of you on the bike.
Oh, there she is!
That's what I was getting on.
If you zoom in, you can really see the fear in my eyes!
I know you think you're cool because you're James Bond,
but I think we all know who is the coolest-looking guy!
Yeah, it was an experience.
What did you do with the microphone?
What were you talking about there?
We were having chats, me and my driver, he from Glasgow,
we were talking about drinking Guinness.
Really?
We had a lovely time, but I wasn't thinking about dying.
That's not distracting as he is driving you?
Well, he did make a joke.
I was, like, I've never done this before, and he went,
me neither, and I went...
Yeah, it was great!
I'm alive!
And two huge television shows represented on the show tonight,
Bridgerton and Succession.
Daniel, which of those do you prefer?
You haven't seen either, have you?
No, he hasn't!
Nailed it!
Do you watch any telly?
No.
Oh, Daniel!
Not even Married At First Sight?
It's really good!
Is it?
Jesse, do you watch any television?
No.
You don't have a TV?
No.
Well, that's a real hindrance.
My wife grew up without TV and my wife's 12th birthday,
her mum, as a gift to her, rented a TV for two hours to watch.
The Baby-Sitters Club.
So I married into a Luddite family, so I never had...
You told me...
He watches movies on his phone on his knee, and this
is a film-maker, by the way.
It's a great knee.
Presumably, it would drive you mad if someone was watching your movie
on a phone on a knee?
Oh, I don't care.
I really, you know, don't.
I think about it all the time.
I'm, like, you know, people are saying, like,
I want this movie to play this.
I always just think, like, I'm so happy to be here on the set,
this is the coolest thing in the world, I don't care
what happens afterwards, but I thought you were the same way.
But I like to watch a movie in the theatre, not on a phone.
I've never watched a movie on a phone.
That sucks!
Never?
No, I don't really care if anybody watches the thing, I guess, right?
I did it already.
I did the thing.
I'm done.
Thank you for letting me do it.
Oh, great job selling the film!
You've really nailed this!
I can see why you haven't been on for 20 years!
I hope the haircut would have helped, but all right.
And, guys, a little word of warning before we get going,
when you say things in interviews, sometimes, things can be
taken out of context, they could even go viral.
Why are you looking at me?
No.
You are!
I'm actually looking at Nicola because you were doing press,
was it, for Bridgerton?
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what have they actually asked you?
Well, they asked me, they said, if you weren't
an actor, what would you do?
And sometimes I say, maybe a story teacher, but,
when you've done a job junket and it's the same question
many times, I was, like, when Real Housewives only make music
for gay men?
Actually, I'm looking at you as if you know.
Do not rope me into your problem!
Jesse's, like, actual housewives?
Yeah, so they sometimes just make songs that are just listing things.
It's, like, private jets, Louboutins, and I just said this
in an interview but then this DJ in America made it into a song.
And he really did.
This is it.
Don't even explain it.
This is it.
We have it.
Here we go.
We are all so jealous!
Very good!
Right, let's crack on and we start with Daniel Craig giving
a Golden Globe-nominated performance in this extraordinary new film.
It's called Queer.
It's out in cinemas today.
And it strikes me that this film, it's sort of queer
in every sense of the word.
It's based on a William S Burroughs novel.
What do you want to tell us about it?
It's based on a William S Burroughs novel.
I said that.
I know you did.
Don't cheat!
I gave you that one!
He wrote it...
Oh, do I have to?
You're in it.
I'm in it.
You're very good.
Thank you.
It's written in the 1950s, it wasn't published till
1982, I don't think.
It's about him and his relationship with a guy in Mexico City
in the '50s, and the book is not autobiographical.
It's a story, it's a novella.
And Luca Guadagnino directed it and it's quite good.
It's so good...
How am I doing?
Thank you, guys, you're so generous.
Now, listen, to give people just an idea of the film, here's a little
bit from the trailer.
What you got to lose?
Independence.
I want to talk to you.
Without speaking.
What are you so afraid of?
It was already open.
Can't close it now.
All he can do is look away.
But why would you?
It really is terrific.
We heard the voice of Sinead O'Connor, the late.
Sinead O'Connor there.
So she recorded that the day Kurt Cobain died at home,
and then they did bits to it later, and the Sinead O'Connor estate gave
us permission to take the guitar track out so,
at the beginning of the movie, she sings it a cappella.
It really kind of sets the tone.
And, obviously, it's you, Drew Starkey plays your lover,
and we go into the movie and we have got preconceived notions
of what masculinity is and what's gay, what's straight,
but William Burroughs, he really blurred all of those lines?
Yeah, I think probably because homosexuality was illegal
in the United States at the time, so I think you had to have...
You had to have kind of a male front.
You couldn't give it away.
There was no freedom of expression, in that sense.
And he was a junkie and it was illegal as well.
But I suppose I'm fascinated by that, the artifice of masculinity.
I think it is, I mean, some of it's beautiful,
don't get me wrong, it's all kind of like...
But he was proper gun toting.
Oh, he loved his guns, yes.
Which you don't expect.
No, I suppose not.
I mean, he really was a kind of, I mean, in that sense,
a bit of a good old boy, he kind of loved the country life
and blowing things up and shooting things.
And I'm not suggesting you did this because you've stopped being Bond,
but there must be a lovely relief in your life where you feel free,
you can do a movie like this.
Yeah, I don't think I could have done this during Bond,
not because I wouldn't have wanted to, but just because it
would have felt kind of really self-conscious and,
like, oh, isn't he a good actor?
Look at him pretending!
Exactly.
So, yeah, I just felt...
And timing's everything.
I mean, Luca didn't get the rights until last year or the year before
and he came to see me three months later and we said, yes, let's do it.
Fantastic!
Because, Nicola Coughlan, I've heard you talking about that
last season of Bridgerton.
Yeah.
Where you felt it was so liberating and empowering that
you were the romantic lead of the whole thing.
Yeah, it was mental.
I realised, I was, I guess, 35 when I was filming the season,
and I'd never played an adult!
I was, like, how do I do this?
Because I don't know if you've seen the first two series.
I looked a lot like SpongeBob SquarePants,
like very curly ginger, yellow dress in sort
of a tent situation going on.
It's a great show.
You should watch it.
You'll love it.
I'm now going to!
Yeah, but it was weird having to then play the romantic lead
and then knowing it was all...
It's a sexy show.
A lot of sexy things happen in it.
And then I realised I was going to have
to do the sexy things and I was, like, right.
What was really funny is the other night, watching Queer,
there is a scene in it which I will talk around
because I can't say what's happening, it's an intimate scene
and there's an action happening in the scene that I joked,
we couldn't do that in Bridgerton because you can't make that
beautiful, but Queer made it really beautiful.
It's, like...
I feel you've talked around it too much, Nicola!
We can stop it there.
But it was really beautiful, yeah.
Jesse watched it on a phone.
He doesn't know what you're talking about.
I might make exceptions for certain scenes that have actions in them.
Pull down the screen of the house.
Just in case there's action in it.
Let's get a wider view.
Exactly.
And go back to the phone for the talking.
Talking of sexy scenes, Jesse Eisenberg, in.
Fleishman Is In Trouble, you were supposed to do a nude scene
but you weren't sure?
No, I did the nude scene.
I wasn't sure, yeah.
I mean, I'm never sure.
I take a shower every day and it convinces me otherwise.
What?
To not do a nude scene.
Got it.
Confirmed once again!
And now get dressed and leave the house.
I called my wife, I had, like, a sex scene,
I called my wife and I was, like, they asked me to be naked,
and my wife was, like, is the woman naked?
And I'm, like, yeah, yeah.
And she goes, then so are you?
And she was, like, oh, OK.
I called my wife and I thought she'd be, like, are you kidding?
You are not coming back into this house if you're naked!
But my wife is, like, an activist before she is a wife so she was,
like, if the woman is naked, you are too.
Well done!
I'm trying to think, Kieran, have you done those sorts of scenes,
the love intimate scenes?
Are you allowed to ask these questions?
Yes, I'm qualified.
As a host, he is.
Yes, I've done a couple of sex scenes but, for some reason,
I'm always asked to do the really unsuccessful sex scenes!
No!
Yes, where it's over really quickly or where I ask the person to pretend
to be a corpse because I otherwise don't know how to get it up.
Those kind of things.
I've never had a good sex scene.
We only film Bridgerton down the road so we'll get you on a bike
and get you in and we'll make you look real...
Really?
Yeah!
I don't think that's my speed.
I've had more masturbating scenes than I've had sex scenes!
My mum stopped watching the show when I jerked off on a window.
That's like season one?
Season one.
It's a great show!
I've seen that, that's the one I've seen!
That's the one you've seen?
That's the one I've seen!
That's the image I have of you!
LAUGHTER
Now, talking of beautiful images...
Now!
Queer, all set in Mexico, but film in Italy, gorgeous locations.
Or not.
Some of them were lovely, the beach.
The beach.
The beach is lovely, there you are on the beach.
Where is that, Sicily?
Yes.
Beautiful.
But it was less beautiful in the doing?
Oh, yes, there were just like these three inch
thorns all over the beach.
And we had to run with abandon across the beach.
And you were like, fucking hell!
And they were like, cut!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
It is really hard to act in sand and people don't
talk about this enough.
They don't.
Let's now!
Let's!
You are all denying but now...
But I was once asked to film something where I walked down a sand
dune looking really cool and you can't.
Maybe you can, actually!
You are just sort of slipping and it's hard.
Actually, this is close to sand because Daniel,
you did a weird thing...
So there was gravel and you thought don't want to use the gravel?
There is a sequence where we do a dance, I won't give the game away
but it's a dance in the movie.
And we were doing it outside on the backlot and it was just
ground and it was gravel and we had to sort of roll around for two
nights and I was like, we are going to get cut to pieces,
we are naked in the scene.
Woo!
Yeah, woo!
Just one whoop, I'll take it!
Still got it!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
And someone very kindly said that's not going to work,
we are going to be bleeding, it's not very good for the scene!
So we got back the following night and someone had put like 50 lbs
of coffee grounds on the ground to look like dirt.
Dirt, yeah.
Which is great, soft and lovely.
But you can absorb it through your skin.
So by six o'clock in the morning, which was a night shoot, you were,
like, yeah, good night!
Good reaction, boys.
Is that true?
You made it up?!
It's true, it's true!
That's unbelievable.
It is true.
That's crazy.
So, if you just rub coffee on yourself...
I mean, if you roll around in it for 12 hours!
I'm not sure if you just rub coffee in, you might get a little...
Not the same as having an espresso!
I have such a sensitivity to caffeine maybe I should just,
just take a walk in it.
Just a walk, it's very nice, very soft.
Barefoot, stroll back and forth.
I can't do a full cup but maybe I could take a little stroll!
I will pour cream on it too!
I'd like to walk on some coffee and sugar this morning!
Just a reminder, you can see Queer in cinemas right now.
Very good.
APPLAUSE
You might have noticed that Christmas is coming
and guess who is starring in the Doctor Who Christmas special.
Uh-huh, it's only Nicola Coughlan!
CHEERING
It is on Christmas Day, BBC One, and then globally on Disney+.
The episode is called Joy To The World.
Nicola plays Joy and here she is, checking into her Christmas hotel.
Oh...
BUZZING.
Hello.
Merry Christmas.
I'm Joy.
Welcome to my room.
I thought I was going to be lonely.
What?!
The star seed will bloom and the flesh will rise.
What?!
What is going on?
Ham and cheese toasty and a pumpkin latte.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
I was going to clap myself!
I was like...
So, Ncuti Gatwa's face there - does the Doctor know Joy?
No, he doesn't.
He's just being friendly.
He's looking for a friend, yeah.
It was a really fun experience, filming that.
Because you know the way...
Russell T Davies called me and was, like, would you come to Cardiff?
Russell Davies is the nicest man in television, he's amazing.
I was, like, yeah, I'll come but to be honest,
I don't know anything about Doctor Who.
I didn't watch it growing up in Ireland.
We didn't have the channels.
You will understand what that means.
I so do.
In Ireland, didn't have BBC growing up so I didn't really know it,
so I said this to Russell.
And he was like, it's fine, just come.
I thought, I will do a little research, maybe just
start with the Wikipedia page, that's fine.
That's like me saying, I'm just going to pop off for five
minutes and just read War and Peace!
So confusing and there is time travel and aliens and, like,
I don't know how many Doctors.
But I went and had a lovely time, it was very akin to being there
and not knowing what's going on.
You know like at every wedding there is one really
old woman and she's, like, not a gran, she is someone's
grand aunt and she sat there but she's just having
the best time.
That was sort of me on set, I didn't know what was going
on but I was loving it!
Were people trying to explain to you as it went along?
Oh, yeah, massively.
And also, everything is filmed out of sequence anyway.
And you add time travel to the mix and you're, like, well...
LAUGHTER
So I'd be like, and would that be an alien now?
There wer be like, you're working with the Silurians.
I know!
So that is a hotel, there is a door in your room...
One of those adjoining doors and she checked
in on her own on Christmas Eve and you kind of go, why?
And then an alien comes in, as they tend to do.
And then the Doctor comes in, Ncuti, who is amazing and...
Woo!
He's amazing.
And he smells amazing!
LAUGHTER
You work with actors, people say, what do they smell like?
No!
That's a bad sign!
Me neither, I never...
No one asked me what you smell like before tonight,
not even one person!
APPLAUSE
I mean, Ncuti Gatwa, very good.
Jesse Eisenberg would make a good Doctor Who, though, wouldn't he?
Oh, god, yeah!
Don't you have to be British?
No.
I could use my accent and talk like myself?
Yes!
Do it.
I could wear my clothes?
Yes.
OK, great.
Probably.
No nude scenes in Doctor Who, worry not!
If we can get some...
I'm back!
And actually, Kieran, you are married to a British
woman, aren't you?
Yes, I am, yeah.
And you've got children.
Is she bringing them up in the grand tradition of watching Doctor Who?
Not yet.
They are only three and five, but a little...
No, they are.
Really?
We just haven't done that yet, we are lazy!
I heard you talking about how your wife,
you have been there a while now.
13 years, yeah.
OK, still there is newness to her Britishness.
Yeah, there are always new Englishisms that
come up all the time.
I remember at the first one that I heard when we first started dating
from we were watching wrestling at home, WWE.
Yeah, woo!
Nobody wooed!
There was this wrestler called Big E who is this really big,
muscular guy, big biceps, pecs and all that.
He had a singlet on and before he would do his finishing move,
he would take off one and then the other to signify,
and we were watching TV and she said, "That's right,
love, get your baps out!"
LAUGHTER
I had to pause and it was like, what?!
Give me that word!
And I've just been taking...
We were talking today about how chuffed is an amazing word
and we don't have anything like it in the States.
Nothing.
There's nothing quite...
There's no equivalent.
But also you guys have...
Sorry, it's a whole audience the people that is maybe.
Sorry, it's a whole audience of people that is maybe
going to take this the wrong way, but you have the most
adorable little expressions and words for things.
No, not at all, no, it's fine!
You know what she said the other day?
She said, "Just had a little chinwag."
It's a chat, conversation, a chinwag.
A chinwag!
How adorable is that?
That's pretty cute!
I have it's a nice day, you've got to bring your sunnies.
Sunglasses.
But if it's raining, bring your brolly.
How cute!
The most adorable thing is that you guys say poo!
The cutest sentence I think I've ever heard anyone
say - I've done a poo.
What do children in America do?
They shit, I don't know!
LAUGHTER
APPLAUSE
You've got that wrong, Kieran!
Doctor Who, what you have just done, famously shrouded in mystery.
In fact you have told us more about an episode
of Doctor Who than anyone on the show as ever said about an
episode of Doctor Who.
Did you see the look in my eyes?
I was like, did I?!
There is a man over there from the BBC being, like...
Are they very strict on set?
Yeah, but also, like I said, I didn't really know
what was going on.
So you couldn't reveal...
I can't tell you, I don't know...
But it was great, it was brilliant, I had the best time.
I don't know what I did but I loved it!
But secrecy, you must be used to it, because I didn't realise that
on Bridgerton, you were the very first person cast.
And then how long did you have to hold onto that secret?
They were, like, don't tell anyone and I was, like, mum!
I can't, it's too hard, isn't it?
Because the thing is, you have to keep it a secret.
My character in the show, big spoiler, I'm sorry,
but I don't know if you're going to watch that Christmas,
but I'm going to take the chance that you're not and tell you!
So basically my character is a secret gossip writer.
Voiced by Julie Andrews and you find out at the end of the series
and it's very exciting.
But immediately, I found out on the internet.
So I auditioned, didn't know what it was, googlef it
and was like, oh my god, that's a brilliant
character, that's amazing.
And then I told my friends and elect there is a secret writer,
guess who it is, it's me!
And my friends and family were all, like, you ruin everything!
But they were also, I don't know if your friends and family do this,
hound you for information...
They don't?
As a matter of fact, on my say, I kept the big thing that I'm not
going to ruin it for you over the last season, Logan dies...
Oh, you haven't seen it either!
But I kept that secret from my wife for an entire year,
which was really hard.
And then, it was so hard to do and I remember at the end,
I was sat on the floor while she sat on the couch because I didn't want
to give anything away and I didn't want to see her reaction
to the episode.
And when it ended, I remember looking back at her expecting big
things and she went, "I mean, I kind of knew."
She was, like, I think she gathered it.
Because there were things she would catch and I would cover, like...
Well, no, because...
They actually did something on our set where they had Brian,
there was clearly a funeral scene that was being shot.
But they had Brian show up to set...
This is Brian Cox.
Yes, he got papped.
Matthew McFadden is not in that scene at all so there
was online speculation, maybe it's his funeral.
And Brian was there, in costume, they had him dressed
in costume to sort of...
But things still snuck out and I had to just lie to my wife for a year.
And no payoff, none!
I remember that, you are amazing in that funeral, but breakdown
is just astonishing that you do.
That was the church full of extras who then went out and blabbed,
well, you'll never guess what we've just done!
That's what's crazy, it was full of people that
all knew what it was.
Some of the people had...
What are the fucking things called?
The...
Things.
The order of service.
Some of them had a different character on it, some of them
were like James Cromwell's character but James Cromwell's
actually in the funeral!
And he gives a speech so it's a bit weird,
I don't know why they're doing it.
I am clearly talking about my father in it.
But that was extraordinary, that it didn't leak.
And also, the way we shot it, they filled the church background
actors, five cameras, we shot on film so they had
to constantly reload.
And there was no rehearsal, there was nothing, the director,
Mark Mylod, just stood up at the thing with the microphone
and just explained, we are just going to run the whole funeral
procession, from the casket coming out of the car at the front,
and the guy who ran the funeral actually runs funerals at that
church, and we just ran the entire thing for about an hour.
We just did a funeral service.
And without a rehearsal, but we had all read it
but we never talked about it.
And it was like, when it was my turn to go up, I'm getting up
and in the script I'm supposed to be interrupted by somebody else
but we never talked about it and am seeing it and I'm...
It was just an amazing way to do something and we just shot
the entire thing in one and then took about an hour to reset and then
ran another funeral service and that's pretty much it,
we did it twice.
Amazing.
APPLAUSE
It was cool, yeah.
Amazing that it didn't leak, amazing that it didn't leak.
Because in terms of secrecy, presumably, Daniel, on James Bond,
the scripts were under lock and key, no one had to know.
You would like to think so, but they did leak.
They get online sometimes, yeah.
And then we'd have to change everything.
So you would do that?
You would literally change the film?
No!
It was early enough that we were going to change it
but they would get out, yeah.
But apparently it wasn't like that on Queer?
No, Luca is just not that precious about things.
Drew's driver, this 23-year-old kid who had been on set for a week
came up to me and just went, great script!
Like...
But Luca just gives it to everybody, what you think, what do you think?
But don't you think that drivers on sets, they are the ones
that know everything.
This is true.
If you want to know any gossip, you go the driver, like come here!
What are we filming next week?
They are, like, the wedding is here...
I got a wedding!
And then you go back and tell everyone!
You know everything!
They are the gossip writers!
They are, they really are.
And Nicola, Joy, Doctor Who, will she return, do you think?
Careful!
LAUGHTER
I nearly had her!
Well, it looked like a lovely time in Cardiff so I don't know.
I don't know how it works.
But if they want me back, maybe...
You can time travel so...
Time travel!
Have you kept on your Airbnb, is my point?
My Airbnb?
Well, when I was there I was like, I'll eat really
healthy while I'm here.
And then there is Chippy Alley in Cardiff.
It's a famous lane of chip shops.
Oh!
They do curry chips there.
So, you know...
I really took in the culture, you can sense it!
She will return!
You can see Nicola in Doctor Who on BBC One
on Christmas Day at 5:10pm.
Welcome to British television, boys!
Ten past five!
APPLAUSE
You'll remember that!
Not five past, ten past five!
Jesse Eisenberg and Kieran Culkin bring us A Real Pain.
It's in cinemas from the 8th of January.
And Jesse, this is your baby, you wrote it, directed
it, you star in it.
And it's certainly based on a very personal family story?
Yeah, exactly.
I mean, like, the movie is, like, semi-autobiographical.
I was writing fiction, but essentially I was just
using everything that I've heard growing up about my family history.
My family comes from south-eastern Poland.
Woo!
Really?
Is that the same person that whooped for him?
I think we have a serial whooper.
Exactly.
And so...
There's this scene towards the end of the movie where Kieran
and I visit the house that our grandmother supposedly
lived in and that was the house that my family lived in up
until 1939, so we just ended up doing...
It was a movie, but I wanted to make everything kind of as authentic
as possible because it costs the same as making it not authentic.
And so you play two cousins on this kind of weird tourist trail.
Yeah, exactly.
In fact, this movie was originally set in Mongolia.
I was writing it based on a story I wrote that took place in Mongolia.
These same two characters, but going to Mongolia
for another reason.
The next movie?
The next one.
It was not going well, the script was not going well
until an ad popped up online that said, Auschwitz Tours.
I was, like, what the hell is that?
So I clicked on this ad banner and it took me to a site
of essentially like a kind of middle-class American
tour of Holocaust sites.
But where you stay in a nice hotel and then you eat a nice continental
breakfast and then you visit Auschwitz.
And did you go on one of the tours or is this
you imagining what it might be?
This is my imagining of what they are, yeah.
But I did a lot of research with brochures.
So, yeah, but the tone is kind of like watching these real guys
who have an irreverent relationship go to places that warrant reverence.
Yeah.
Shall we see a little clip of the two boys in action?
This is the two of you on tour, it has gone a little awry!
This is the cousins.
I guess everybody is waiting in front for us.
Uh-huh.
Hey, dude?
Yeah?
We're not at the right station.
Sorry, what?
Yeah...
Oh, shit.
What the fuck is Krasnik?
Yeah, Krasnik.
We were supposed to get off at Lublin.
I know, yeah, you were out pretty fucking cold, dude.
Sorry, you mean we passed Lublin already?
A while ago.
And you didn't wake me up?
Well, you were having such a good nap, dude.
Jesus!
I know, it's hard to wake you up.
You have the most fucked up sense of priorities, do you know that?
Dude, don't get mad at me, OK...
How could I not get mad at you?
Because I was, like, staring at you while you were sleeping
and people were looking at you and some people
were fucking laughing at you because you were snoring
all weird and loud and shit.
But I was thinking, like, fuck that!
This is my cousin Davey, I'm not ashamed of him,
this is Davey on the bench in Chinatown, this is the guy I used
to have all to myself, I just couldn't wake you,
man.
APPLAUSE.
Having seen the clip, I now remember I was supposed
to warn people there was a lot of swearing in it!
And were you guys friends, always friends?
No.
So you met for this?
Yeah, but what's also weird too, and I need to just tell the world
this because you think this is normal when it's just not!
He cast me without auditioning me or seeing me in anything ever.
What?
And he goes, yeah, but that's fine, I'm aware of you!
LAUGHTER.
Like, we've met before?
We've met twice in passing!
And you put me in your...
He still, like, yeah!
Look at his essence!
How could you not cast this essence?!
You can't get an essence and give somebody...
Is that how you got the part?
That's not how you get a job!
Essence!
He's the greatest actor in the world!
I don't know how to describe it except it just felt exactly
right, he's amazing.
You are, you do seem brilliant, in your head
when you were writing Benji, you weren't thinking...
No, no, I was going to play that role.
And then I was dissuaded.
Took it from him!
Yeah!
And is it true, Kieran, that you weren't going to do this film?
You didn't want to?
At one point, yes, I did try to back out of this film.
Whoops!
Two weeks before we shot, not at one point!
Two weeks before!
He didn't know that, they kept him in the dark
about me trying to get out of the movie thing!
Glad I didn't!
We made a good movie!
It is a really good movie.
And you are both...
It baffles my mind that you were going to play Benji.
Same here, yeah!
Because you both seem so perfect in those roles.
Thanks, but...
Thanks!
But we can!
Don't take it personally!
But you say you've only met a couple of times
but one of those meetings, it was an audition?
Yeah, exactly.
That's where we first met and it was in 2008 and I have no
recollection until Kieran brought it up!
I bought it up a couple of weeks...
I'm very memorable, thanks, guys!
Bring me another god damn drink!
APPLAUSE.
You want to tell the story?
I leave an impression!
No, you tell the damn story!
I actually never heard it from your perspective.
Because it interesting.
You talk!
Jump in, jump in if I get something wrong!
We were at an audition for a movie that I was already acting,
it was called Adventureland and I was already...
CHEERING.
That's a lot!
And so I was already in, and Kieran came into audition,
the character that Kieran was auditioning for was supposed
to constantly hit me and manhandle me and knock me
around and stuff.
But none of the actors auditioning would do that because it's so...
You know, we are in a union!
But then Kieran came in and not only did he punch me in the groin,
which is what the character is scripted to do,
he also grabbed my, like, breasts and twisted them!
As the director, too quietly, said, cut, please cut, please stop!
Kieran was grabbing onto my chest, looking over and saying, what?
What?
So I remembered this thing, I think unconsciously,
which is that, I was kind of in control in this room and yet
somebody came in and, like, stole the room
and also was brilliant.
And that is what this movie is, I pay for this trip,
I arrange the tour, and yet he comes in and takes over immediately.
Worth noting I didn't get the part!
APPLAUSE.
But do you not remember that?
No, I remember that, he didn't remember it.
OK.
What was going on in your head when you decided to do that
to him at an audition?
The head?
I don't have one!
I wasn't thinking, that's not part of the preparation.
On this line I'm going to touch the left nipple...
No, but I do remember when he stopped us, I'm
still holding your nipples, taking note, like, OK, so you want
to go back to the beginning?
Sorry, by the way!
Do you do that a lot at auditions?
Do I touch nipples at audit...
If there is a kissing scene in a movie and you are auditioning
for it?
Do I kiss the person that I'm...
What do you think?
I did that once.
Did you?
Never again!
Why would you do that?
Because I was 13.
You were 13 and you kissed somebody you would be doing a scene with?
I auditioned with.
Did she punch you, or what happened?
No, I didn't get punched, it was worse.
I heard from my agent not to do that again.
That is worse, actually.
Oh, you'd be sick!
Nicola and Daniel are just going, oh, my God!
I did, I told you the story.
I did get a job once, I auditioned for something.
It was the play Suburbia and the playwright was there
and there was a part where the character has
to mime giving a blow job, and I got the part that day.
No, don't!
Mime, I said!
But he goes, you know what it was?
It was the blow job.
And I said, oh, why?
Did none of the other actors drop to their knees?
And he goes, no, you were the only one that copped the balls.
That's acting.
Put that on your show!
Always cup the balls.
There's got to be a dance mix.
Cup the balls, cup the balls.
Liaten, A Real Pain opens here on the 8th of January.
Good luck with that and good luck to those who have.
Golden Globe nominations.
Good luck with those.
All right.
It's time for music.
This pop trio made history last year when they became the first group
ever to win the Brit Rising Star Award.
Here performing Access All Areas, it's Flo!
On me
told, I keep it closed
open, let me expose it
more
sittin' pretty
so let's take it to round two
undress me (kinda sexy
in the bedroom
not just anything
I hope you don't let it
for you to touch it
limits
you inside
show, get excited
ain't nobody else invited
yours
you more I will give you more.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.
Come on over.
It's Stella, Jorja and Renee.
So amazing, really gorgeous.
Thank you so much.
There you go.
Welcome.
The gang's all here.
Say hello.
Have a seat.
Have a drink.
You earned it!
Thank you!
Seriously, those vocals, amazing, absolutely gorgeous!
Yes, yeah.
Cheers to Flo!
Well done.
So Stella, Jorja, Renee, do you know anyone on the couch, by the way?
Have you bumped into anyone at showbiz parties and things?
We haven't, but from TV, we know you well.
Love Nicola!
I saw you guys perform at maybe it was Glamour awards?
Oh, my God!
That was terrible!
Babies!
No, it was amazing!
Come a long way.
We were prepubescent.
You were amazing.
Amazing.
We've actually met before, you just don't remember.
It's fine, nobody remembers me.
No one remembers Kieran.
That was from your debut album, Access All Areas, which is out now.
And I love that sound, that army sound, but it's quite nostalgic.
You seem too young.
Did you grow up, is that the music you were listening to growing up?
Yes, thank you to our mums.
Oh, are the mums here?
Hello, mums!
There's some great music tastes going on.
That is beautiful.
Now, I assumed Flo was an acronym, it stood for something,
or that you'd be, like, Florence, Louise, Olive.
But that is not the case?
We also wish it was an interesting story.
Yeah.
So do we!
We are all rooting for you!
I mean, it's quite random.
It's cute.
It's the type of story that we'd get chucked off the red chair for.
So where does it come from?
Well, we were brainstorming lots of different names and we used
to go to this place to write music and bond, and a fat,
fluffy white cat would come in, it's not our cat, we don't know it,
and we were, like, oh, let's call it Flo.
And then for some reason we were, like, that could be
a potential name for us.
Well, no, we were going through other names like Her Story, Minx.
I think Minx has been done!
Yeah, wasn't quite right.
But even when we said to people that we wanted to be called Flo,
everyone was like, urgh!
Period, menstrual cycle!
LAUGHTER
I wasn't going to say it!
APPLAUSE
Like, yeah, we know...
It's a branding opportunity, yeah!
It's a collab!
So Flo is going on tour?
Yes!
There you go.
APPLAUSE
All over Europe.
Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham and London.
Hopefully that performance will have sold a lot of tickets.
We hope so.
Hopefully.
It's a beautiful, beautiful sound, it really is.
Thank you.
Thank you very much for that gorgeous performance and good luck
with the album and the tour.
Flo, everybody!
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Really lovely, thank you.
Right, nearly it.
Before we go, just time for a quick visit to the big red chair.
Who have we got?
Oh, hello!
Hello.
Don't look so tense - it'll be fine!
I am nervous!
What's your name?
Brenda. Where are you from?
The accent is Canadian but I actually live here in London.
OK, and what do you do here, Brenda?
I'm actually a mum.
OK, lovely.
APPLAUSE
How many kids?
I'm embarrassed to say one, and he's 24!
LAUGHTER
But he's still a kid!
Wow!
Oh, Brenda...
I know! Poor him!
That's a red chair story right there!
But you go with your story, Brenda.
Right, so my story is about Adele.
And I was travelling with my son, it was about ten or 12 years ago,
and we were in a small regional airport in the north of Denmark.
And we were already boarded and we were sat in row three,
which was the first row of economy, right in front of the curtain
and then there was business in front, two rows.
Interesting, yeah.
Empty, completely empty.
And we were all boarded and there was a bit of a delay,
there was no one in business class, and then I could hear
what they were saying the front, the pilot came out and he said,
"What's going on? What are we waiting for?"
And they said, "Actually, we are waiting for Adele."
My son and I went, Adele?
Who doesn't love Adele?
We are going to be breathing the same air as Adele!
And so we waited and waited and we were so excited, made sense
to us because she actually had played at the venue not
terribly far from their.
Terribly far from there.
Of course, yes.
So we were looking out of the window, looking out
the window, and we were thinking, when she gets on and
we get to altitude and the curtain snaps shut,
we are going to be maybe sing,
Hello from the other side...
And we were getting more and more excited!
I'm so tempted to flip you but I want to know what happens!
So a big car pulls up and we think, this is it, this is Adele,
she is coming, we're going to be best friends!
Then the door opens, a guy comes out and he bounds up
the stairs carrying something the pilot had left behind
and it was a laptop computer and it was a Dell!
APPLAUSE
I mean...
It provoked a similar emotion.
We kept waiting!
And then that arrived!
OK, that it really is all we've got time for.
If you'd like to go in the red chair yourself to tell your story,
you can contact us via the website at this address.
Please say a huge thank you to all my guests tonight.
Flo!
APPLAUSE.
Kieran Culkin!
APPLAUSE.
Jesse Eisenberg!
APPLAUSE.
Nicola Coughlan!
APPLAUSE.
And Mr Daniel Craig!
APPLAUSE.
Join me next week with Grammy winner Laufey,
Ruth Jones and James Corden, Andrew Garfield, Colman Domingo
and Timothee Chalamet.
I will see you then, good night, everybody, bye-bye!