1 00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:07,880 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:20,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Oh! 3 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:22,640 Oh! Look at that! 4 00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:24,080 Aww! 5 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:31,080 Oh! Thank you very much! Hello! 6 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,960 Good evening, everyone! You're so welcome to the show. 7 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,480 It's New Year's Eve! Yes! CHEERING. 8 00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,480 Oh! And like that slightly green leftover turkey 9 00:00:40,480 --> 00:00:42,920 you had for lunch, I'm back. 10 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:44,640 We've got a great line-up for you tonight. 11 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,000 We'll be talking about some of the highlights of the year 12 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,480 and we'll have a very special music performance 13 00:00:49,480 --> 00:00:53,200 later in the show. So, who's on my Hogmanay sofa? 14 00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,840 Well, he's a top comic who's spent a quarter of a century 15 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,480 making the nation laugh. Now he's back on tour 16 00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,760 celebrating 25 years as one of our funniest comedians. 17 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,600 It's only John Bishop, everybody! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 18 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,000 Oh! 19 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,320 There he is! 20 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,720 Hello, sir. Lovely to see you. Have a seat, do. 21 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,480 CHEERING 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,160 After another triumphant season on BBC One, 23 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:24,280 this dance pro and Strictly judge is about to hit the road 24 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:26,840 with the 2025 Strictly Live Tour. 25 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:29,200 It's Motsi Mabuse! 26 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:30,640 CHEERING 27 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,360 Oh! She is blonde! 28 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,360 She's blonde! Blonde! 29 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:37,920 Mwah! Mwah! New year, new you. I'm here! 30 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,240 He won an Oscar for his portrayal of Freddie Mercury in the hit film. 31 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,720 Bohemian Rhapsody, and as the villain in No Time To Die, 32 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:51,080 he finally put paid to Daniel Craig's James Bond. 33 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:56,080 Now he's making his UK stage debut in Oedipus. It's Rami Malek! 34 00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,640 CHEERING 35 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,880 Beautiful! 36 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:02,840 Hello, Rami. Wow! 37 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,360 Wonderful to see you. Happy New Year! Happy New Year to you. 38 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:06,920 Have a seat, do. 39 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:08,680 There they are. 40 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:13,560 And this British pop icon has more number one albums to his name 41 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,200 than any other solo artist. 42 00:02:16,200 --> 00:02:18,840 No slave to convention, in his new biopic Better Man, 43 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,440 he's chosen to portray himself as a chimpanzee. Of course he has! 44 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,720 It's the fabulous Robbie Williams! CHEERING. 45 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,840 Come here. Aww! Lovely man. 46 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:36,160 CHEERING 47 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,000 Hello, lovely couch. Nice to see you all. Are you all well? 48 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,280 Yeah! 49 00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:45,920 Robbie, very special performance later. What will you be giving us? 50 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:50,280 I will be doing a rendition of one of my hit... 51 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:51,640 LAUGHTER 52 00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:55,200 I don't know if you remember... Rock DJ. Oh! 53 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE It's... 54 00:02:57,000 --> 00:03:00,240 It's so good. I can't tell you. I saw it in rehearsal. 55 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,760 It is E-PIC. Thank you. Epic. 56 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,640 I'm giving Motsi a ten paddle for later. 57 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,760 So, here we are, it's the last night of 2024, 58 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:12,400 so, highlights of the year. Robbie, you had a big birthday this year. 59 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,240 I did, I turned 50. 60 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,960 Doesn't look it. Does not look it. Thank you. Yeah. 61 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,520 I'm loving being 50, 62 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:24,760 sort of getting right into being happy and experiencing joy. 63 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,400 And if this is the trajectory that I'm on, 64 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,360 I want to stay on this trajectory. 65 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,200 Basically, I've found the right meds. 66 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:35,240 Excellent! 2024, year of the prescription. 67 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,680 And, John Bishop, you've got a new toy in 2024. 68 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,200 Yeah, that's one way of putting it, yeah. No, I've got a motorbike. 69 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,760 I passed my motorbike test. 70 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:46,640 There we are, look at that. 71 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:48,120 That's a proper man in his 50s. 72 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,400 That's what you've got to look forward to, Robbie. 73 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,360 A proper midlife crisis. Midlife crisis. 74 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:57,560 So you went and did the test? I did. And it's brilliant actually. 75 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:01,240 What happens now, in the UK, if you do a motorbike test, 76 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:03,920 you've got to do a theory test, which I didn't realise, 77 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:08,480 which is an hour long and it's all about, like, road signs, 78 00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,880 hazard perception, dangers on the road. 79 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:16,000 I've been driving a car since I was 17, that's nearly 40 years. 80 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,520 I sat the theory test and failed, right? 81 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,280 And I walked out the test centre, got in me car and drove home. 82 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:28,880 Literally going past road signs going, "Not a clue. Not a clue." 83 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,560 Is it, is it multiple answers? 84 00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, it's multiple answers on a computer screen. 85 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:37,200 And did they give you a percentage of how many you got wrong? 86 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:39,760 No, they just said, "You would have died if..." 87 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,160 LAUGHTER 88 00:04:41,160 --> 00:04:42,640 Here's the thing... You know what I love? 89 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,400 Sorry, after you, sir. No, no, you. 90 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,320 No, no, no. I've become very British. 91 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,600 It's New Year's Eve. No, no, darling... Please. You, my dear. 92 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:53,760 The Knowledge. The black cab Knowledge, right? 93 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,520 Which I find fascinating. 94 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,800 Did you ever think about doing that? 95 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:00,480 Well, you're from a different city, do they do...? 96 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,800 No, no, you don't need to do the Knowledge in Liverpool... 97 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,000 Cos we've got the Waze. ..you just know. 98 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:09,320 And now we've got this invention called a sat nav. I know! 99 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,200 And you have taken your motorcycle all over. 100 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,120 You were in Ireland on your motorcycle. Was this in the summer? 101 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,160 This is in the summer, yeah, yeah. So, I actually did 102 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:21,520 the tour of Ireland on the motorbike and went right round Ireland. 103 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,400 I went from Belfast, all round the coast, and that's me in Killarney. 104 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,560 There was a motorbike festival in Killarney 105 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,760 and they said, like, there's 2,000 motorbikers on the road, 106 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:34,440 "Can you lead the parade through the town?" Wow! 107 00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:38,760 Having been only riding for like a few months? Yeah, yeah, yeah. 108 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,640 At that point I'd been riding about two months. Wow! 109 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,160 The only person having fun in that picture is you. 110 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,160 I am the happiest person! 111 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:50,560 Everyone else is going... Everyone else behind me is going, 112 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,040 "Will you change gear?!" 113 00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:56,280 Also, it looks like one of those things where they're testing you 114 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,000 on the internet, where it's like 115 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:01,960 click the one person... Who's happy. Yeah, that's happy on the motorbike. 116 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,560 Very good. 117 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,400 And Rami Malek, 2024 - anything stand out for you? 118 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:11,200 I think just getting ingrained in this culture. 119 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:16,680 I've been here for a while and, you get... 120 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,600 You immediately want... 121 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,920 People take you to these grand places and, you know, 122 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:25,440 it's just so fancy sometimes. I'm like, I want the pub. 123 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,280 I want the pub culture, I want to be surrounded by that. 124 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:32,080 That's the best part of the year so far is being that, 125 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,800 finding my local, playing darts, doing the quiz night. 126 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,720 No, do you do the quiz night? I do the quiz night! 127 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:41,120 Are you good at pub quizzes? 128 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,080 No, I'm quite shit. Oh, OK. But... 129 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:49,160 I mean, geography is my thing and I know when to step in, I suppose. 130 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:55,040 You? I'm pretty decent with entertainment and... 131 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:57,440 Yeah, just entertainment really. 132 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,360 LAUGHTER Yeah. Yeah. 133 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,600 And, Motsi Mabuse, I'm guessing what your highlight is. 134 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:08,480 Is it what I think it is? It is. Strictly Come Dancing! Yes! Yes! 135 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,200 20th anniversary. It was a good season, wasn't it? 136 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:14,200 It was a very, very, very special season. 137 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,480 I thought it was absolutely brilliant. 138 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,600 Great people on the show and beautiful dancing. 139 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:23,440 And we all gelled together better. Yeah. 140 00:07:23,440 --> 00:07:25,080 And I suppose, at this point really, 141 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,360 we should all just say congratulations to the winner 142 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,640 this year, Chris McCausland! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE. 143 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,880 Friend of the show. Amazing. 144 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,880 And this year, an extra special year, 20 years of Strictly. Yes. 145 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,880 20 years of Strictly. It's incredible. 146 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,600 I mean, the show has been licensed to 62 countries 147 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:48,360 and now we've got, like, here in the UK, 20 years with all our past 148 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,880 winners and contestants, and just celebrating this beautiful show. 149 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,840 Yeah. And it does go from strength to strength. It does. It does. 150 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,080 And if people are interested, still on iPlayer, you can 151 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:01,000 see a special film, Strictly Come 20 Fabulous Years. 152 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,880 It's still on there. 153 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:05,760 And, dancing, Robbie, when you were in the boyband, 154 00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:08,560 you did have to do choreography. You did proper dancing. 155 00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,520 Hmm. No? Yeah, I did. 156 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,120 It was pointlessly intricate. 157 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,360 Genuinely, genuinely... 158 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,320 There was no need for it. 159 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,320 Especially, especially when, you know, you watch Westlife, 160 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,720 and all they do is like the key change towards 161 00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:26,080 the end of the song, is they just stand up. 162 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,960 That's why they're still together. Yeah. Exactly. 163 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,640 What I love in that picture, everyone's singing, 164 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,080 Robbie's going, "Look at me!" 165 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,840 Self absorbed! 166 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,720 But, John Bishop, I believe you had hoped that the 167 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:46,720 highlight of 2024 was your reunion with this man. 168 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,600 That is, of course, your figure, your waxwork figure. Yeah. 169 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:51,800 But it didn't go to plan. 170 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,400 No. HE LAUGHS 171 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:59,240 I was on tour in Blackpool. Motsi knows it well. 172 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:03,000 Yes! Yeah, of course you do. We love Blackpool. I love Blackpool. 173 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,680 You know, Rami, we have Madame Tussauds, which is 174 00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:09,960 a big honour for someone to actually get a waxwork model. Yeah, yeah. 175 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:14,640 And so, I've... I don't know, ten, 12, 15 years... Whatever it was, 176 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,240 they asked me to do a waxwork model of me, 177 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:20,440 and they put it in the entertainment section in Blackpool. 178 00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,680 And I was on tour in Blackpool. 179 00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:26,160 In fact, when it got unveiled, my sister took my mum and dad 180 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,480 to go and have a photograph with my waxwork model. 181 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,280 Aww! I know, but I'd been at their house on the Sunday. 182 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,560 I'm like, "The real thing's been there." 183 00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,440 Me dad sent me a picture like that... 184 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,720 So anyhow, I was in Blackpool and I thought, "I haven't been there" 185 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,040 "for a while, it will be funny if I go and replicate that picture," 186 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:45,400 "have a photograph with my own waxwork model." 187 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:49,520 And I got to the reception, I said, "Hiya. Have you got a John Bishop?" 188 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,080 And they went, "A what?" 189 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,160 I said, "I've come for a... for the John Bishop." 190 00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:57,720 And he went, "Mate, we've not had that here for three or for years." 191 00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:00,840 And I thought, "That's showbiz, innit?" 192 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,680 They've taken mine down from London as well. I know. I just think 193 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,800 it's one of those things, I was gutted and I thought it was funny 194 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,720 and then I thought, I've been melted down 195 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:11,640 for the next generation of famous people. 196 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,960 Which is OK cos I think there's a little bit of me 197 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,760 in Taylor Swift, and that's fine. LAUGHTER 198 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,080 I'll live with that. 199 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,720 I got asked to do the same thing and they were like, "Yeah", 200 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:25,480 "we'll do the wax version of you at Madame Tussauds. 201 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,160 "What a great honour." And I was like, "No!" 202 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,920 No? No! It's strange. 203 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:36,840 I don't want anyone, like, visiting a version of me that doesn't exist. 204 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,240 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like... Is that going to affect me somehow? 205 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:44,360 Am I superstitious in a way? Oh, like a voodoo doll. Yeah. 206 00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:47,360 I think you've overthought it, Rami. 207 00:10:47,360 --> 00:10:50,320 I overthink a lot of things. 208 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,080 I'm amazed that they melted you down. 209 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:55,840 Yeah, me too. Yeah! No! After Rudebox came out, I think. 210 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,040 LAUGHTER 211 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:02,760 There's a reference for your, for your '90s babies. 212 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,920 Listen, a highlight of the year, I think for lots of people, 213 00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,000 was some of the viral videos that went around the way, 214 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,640 and one of my favourites was this one. 215 00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:13,200 Now, I'm sure lots of you have seen this. It's very sweet. 216 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,720 It's a little girl and her sister, and she's having a bit of a rant 217 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,920 about the cost of living, 218 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,240 specifically the price of ice cream. 219 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,360 Take a look at this. I'm sure you've seen it. 220 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,120 Girls, what's just happened? 221 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:31,320 So... So there's an ice cream van there selling just two ice creams 222 00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,560 with two chewing gums in it... 223 00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,440 Yeah? ..For bloody £9 for two of them. 224 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,360 Nine quid for two? Yeah, nine quid. 225 00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,320 That is going to get nowhere. 226 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:44,160 One that comes on my street, either £1 or £2. 227 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,880 He's going to get nowhere with that. 228 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,200 No, he ain't, is he? No, he ain't. 229 00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,600 He should know! 230 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:53,120 And he only does bloody card. Stood there with my cash. 231 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:54,400 Bloody hell! 232 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,080 That's well bad, isn't it? Bloody well bad. Yeah. 233 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:00,040 Yeah, I bet he can hear me! 234 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:06,640 That was Marnie and her sister Mylah. 235 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:10,080 And, unexpectedly - even I'm a little shocked - 236 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:11,840 they're here. No! 237 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,560 So, Marnie and Mylah, if you're there, come on out, 238 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:17,200 Marnie and Mylah. Here they come. 239 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:18,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 240 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,760 Hello. 241 00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:20,920 Oh, you look so lovely. 242 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,720 Which one are you? Marnie. 243 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,280 Hello, Marnie. Hello, Mylah. 244 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,400 Can you go in and sit in beside Robbie and Rami there? 245 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,440 Come and have a seat. There we go. Excellent. 246 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,320 So it's Marnie and Mylah. 247 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,680 Yeah. Hello. Hi. 248 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,800 Lovely to see you. You both look so smart. 249 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,800 Very smart. Happy New Year's Eve. 250 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,200 LAUGHTER 251 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,320 So, girls, do you know anyone on the couch at all? 252 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,640 Yeah. Yeah. 253 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,360 Oh, who do you know? 254 00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,200 Oh, Robbie. 255 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,880 The young demographic is yours. 256 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:53,840 Take that, Madame Tussauds. 257 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,480 LAUGHTER 258 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:01,840 That was worth it just to hear Robbie say "take that". 259 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,440 LAUGHTER 260 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,600 APPLAUSE 261 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,800 Now, Marnie and Mylah, now you're twins, right? 262 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,120 Yeah. Yeah. 263 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,520 OK. Rami, beside you there, he's also a twin. 264 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:16,120 Oh! I mean, the twin's not here, but... 265 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:17,600 Do you know who I am? 266 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,440 No? 267 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,840 LAUGHTER 268 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,080 Do you like being twins? Yeah. Yeah. 269 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:27,440 Ah! Do you answer any question individually? 270 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:30,400 No. Sometimes. 271 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:31,920 There you go. Oh, they did it. 272 00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:35,440 But now, when did you discover that this video 273 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,360 had become so popular? 274 00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Because we're just going for a walk, and then the next day, we woke up, 275 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:45,080 we just, like, we literally looked on TikTok and we had so much views. 276 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,000 How many views? More than 20... million. 277 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,280 LAUGHTER 278 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,800 More than 20 million. If you missed the million... 279 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,400 More than 20 MILLION. Wow. 280 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,000 APPLAUSE 281 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,560 Why was it your mum who was holding the...? 282 00:13:57,560 --> 00:13:59,800 No. My auntie. My mum didn't even know about it. 283 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,640 She just woke up and she were like, everyone were texting her, 284 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,440 and she were like, "Oh, my God." 285 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,760 LAUGHTER 286 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,400 So how much was the ice cream? 287 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,000 £9. £9 for one ice cream? 288 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,400 Two. For two? 289 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,720 I'm with you. 290 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,720 LAUGHTER 291 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,000 Sock it to the man. 292 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,240 APPLAUSE 293 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,160 Has the guy not gone out of business yet? 294 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:22,480 Because when he watches this, he'll be crying. 295 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:25,240 LAUGHTER 296 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,320 Well, Marnie and Mylah, you've been stars of 2024. 297 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,320 So after the video, what else has happened to you? 298 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,280 Obviously, you're here tonight. What else have you done? 299 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,880 We've been to London a couple of times, and we've been in... 300 00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,280 Alton Towers and Warwick Castle. 301 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,360 LAUGHTER 302 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:41,880 You should form a choir. You're very good together. 303 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:44,720 It's excellent. Listen, it's been a real treat to meet you. 304 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,880 I know your mum is waiting to take you home to bed, 305 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:50,880 so thank you very much for being here. Marnie and Mylah, everybody. 306 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:53,040 APPLAUSE 307 00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:55,000 Your mum's out there. Lovely to meet you. 308 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,040 Take care. Oh, you're waving. Goodbye. Goodbye. Nice to meet you. 309 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:02,000 Take care. Bye. Nice to meet you. Bye! 310 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,160 They look so smart! Yeah, they do. 311 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,560 Oh! 312 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,200 Bless. 313 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:11,120 Mini Anne Robinsons. Tiny Watchdogs. 314 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,520 Yeah. Furious! 315 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:14,800 They're very, very sweet. 316 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,720 We would have got them ice cream, but have you seen the price? 317 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:21,520 Here's the thing. Now, Rami Malek, you are a twin. Your twin Sami. 318 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,480 And John Bishop, there's twins in your family. 319 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:25,800 Your dad was a twin. Is a twin. 320 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,480 My dad's a twin. My dad's an identical twin as well. 321 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:29,720 They're adorable. 322 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,000 Yeah, yeah. My dad and his brother Freddie are 83 now, 323 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,880 and it's a very Liverpool family, because my dad supports Liverpool, 324 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,800 me Uncle Freddie supports Everton, so we don't talk to him that often. 325 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,480 LAUGHTER 326 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:44,800 Liverpool was a city that was bombed during the war, 327 00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,320 and the maternity hospital was bombed, 328 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,920 and my nan was in the maternity hospital and said, 329 00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,560 "There's something going to go wrong," 330 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:56,120 and she left the maternity hospital in Liverpool and went home, 331 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:59,280 and ended up having the twins somewhere else, 332 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,240 and it got bombed that night. 333 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:03,200 And when you were having a family, did you think, 334 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,600 "Uh-oh, here come twins"? 335 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,440 No, no, I was thinking, "We're going to get bombed." 336 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,160 LAUGHTER 337 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,440 Happy New Year! 338 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,240 Beautiful, beautiful. 339 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,560 OK, there is only one way to follow that. 340 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,760 It is, of course, Robbie Williams as a chimpanzee. 341 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:21,560 The new film of his life, 342 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,320 Better Man, is currently in cinemas. 343 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:28,560 Yeah. So why did you decide to be a chimpanzee in the film? 344 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:33,200 OK, so we realised that there needed to be a creative difference 345 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:36,800 with the biopic because, you know, you got in first, 346 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,120 and then everybody else followed. 347 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:44,120 And since then, the biopic genre has got a bit long, bit tired. Yeah. 348 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:48,000 So we needed to have a unique selling point. 349 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,880 And Michael Gracey, the director, came to me and he said, 350 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,280 "So, Rob, what is your spirit animal?" 351 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,200 And I was trying to find some self-worth for myself that day, 352 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,640 as I am every day, and I went, "I am a lion." 353 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,120 And he went, "Hmm, are you, though?" 354 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,280 And I went, "Monkey?" 355 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,480 And he went, "Yes. OK, here's the idea. 356 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,760 "Everybody in the movie will be human apart from you," 357 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:11,960 "and you're a CGI monkey." 358 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,240 And I was like, "This is an eccentric idea." 359 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,400 "It's a huge swing. I can instantly see it. This is incredible." 360 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,600 And then I went to tell the Minister of Finance - 361 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,560 that is my wife - in the next room, 362 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:26,680 and I was like, "I am - get this - a monkey!" 363 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,880 And she was like, "WTF?" 364 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,760 And it was there that I realised that it might be contentious. 365 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,040 Until she saw the movie. No, exactly. Her mind's blown by it. 366 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,400 But... And also presumably, it makes it easier... Or does it? 367 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,680 I don't know. Does it make it, do you think, easier for you 368 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,920 to watch all the stuff happening to Robbie Williams in that film 369 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,120 when it's a monkey? 370 00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,600 Not really, no. 371 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,280 I saw all the scenes before they were all stitched together, 372 00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:55,080 and basically, no spoilers, but the movie is, like, 373 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:57,960 "I'm a cheeky chappie and I'm from Stoke-on-Trent," 374 00:17:57,960 --> 00:17:59,960 and it's like that for 45 minutes, 375 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,000 and then it's Trainspotting. 376 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,520 LAUGHTER 377 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:06,440 For real, for real. And it's like the great... He's not wrong. 378 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,680 Honestly, it's like the greatest hits of trauma and grief 379 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:15,200 for the TikTok generation. And so, yeah, that's a bit confronting. 380 00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,280 Yeah. Triggering. 381 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,560 And when you see the chimp, am I right that the eyes are yours? 382 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,520 The eyes are me. So what happened was, before the film started 383 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,840 to happen, I got in this cage and there was 150 cameras, 384 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,040 and they did the motion capture thing. 385 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,120 And then I did 120 different facial expressions, 386 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:36,920 and then they mapped me over the top of Jonno Davies, 387 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,840 who plays me in the film, who does an incredible job. 388 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,720 So the eyes are mine. 389 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,040 Look at how handsome he is. 390 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,400 He's got such a great arse too, because in 1997, 391 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,880 I won Arse of the Year, and... AUDIENCE MEMBERS WHOOP. 392 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:52,360 Very proud of that, the best award I've ever worn. 393 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:56,080 And then, due to Ozempic, I've lost my arse. 394 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,080 No! No, you haven't. 395 00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:00,480 Bless you. 396 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,560 How big was it before Ozempic? 397 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,120 LAUGHTER 398 00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:06,440 It was a generous rump, 399 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,960 and now it just looks like a place where you put a credit card. 400 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:11,680 It's just, you know... 401 00:19:11,680 --> 00:19:16,360 Anyway, now my arse, for time immemorial, will be remembered 402 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:18,920 as Jonno's arse, and it's fantastic. 403 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,120 Mwah! Sadly, we don't see that in this clip. 404 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,680 We are seeing a clip of little Robbie, little baby chimp Robbie. 405 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:29,000 Yeah. And you're in this clip with your dad, 406 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,880 played by Steve Pemberton, and your granny, played by Alison Steadman. 407 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,920 Take a look at this. It's so sweet. 408 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,200 How's about a warm hand on my entrance? 409 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:53,480 And every highway. 410 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,200 Thank you. 411 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,360 Thank you. Thank you. 412 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,760 My dad was well enamoured by the stars of the day. 413 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:09,440 Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jr 414 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,920 and, of course, Sinatra. 415 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,000 They were gods to him. 416 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,800 Youth, you hear that? 417 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,840 That's pure love, that is. 418 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,440 Don't come cheap, mind. 419 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,720 You've got to risk it all, whatever it takes. 420 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,280 Because if you make it, 421 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,080 it's paradise. 422 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:29,640 The thing is, you can't learn it. 423 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:31,360 You're either born with it... 424 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,120 or you're a nobody. 425 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:39,320 Oh! 426 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,720 APPLAUSE 427 00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:47,920 And I'd like to thank Mark Owen for playing a young me. 428 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,000 Stop! 429 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,240 LAUGHTER 430 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,400 It's all right. He lives in Los Angeles. He won't see this. 431 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,080 Now, in the film, there's that thing, 432 00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,840 your drive, kind of from a very... 433 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,840 I was going to say very young monkey. 434 00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,360 from a very young boy is intense. 435 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,160 And I guess, in the movie, it's kind of, 436 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:04,560 you feel like it comes from your dad. 437 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,240 But I've heard you talking about, actually, a lot of your drive 438 00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,760 and ambition comes from your mum. 439 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:11,480 Yeah, yeah. She's a coal miner's daughter. 440 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:16,720 Cannon fodder in the Second World War was her dad, 441 00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:21,960 and my mum raised us out of her social economic background 442 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,480 by luck, love, determination, and getting a loan. 443 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:30,840 And, yeah, what my mum managed to do with her life, what she did manage 444 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:35,000 to do with her life, and her... You know, she opened coffee shops 445 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:39,280 and clothes shops and... Yeah... you know, come from a council estate, 446 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:43,840 and it's her drive that I've got, definitely. 447 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:50,240 And, you know, my dad is a very lovable, charming, charismatic man, 448 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,480 but he didn't have the drive that my mum's got. I've got it. 449 00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,560 Yeah. But, Robbie, I've seen your documentary as well, 450 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,520 you know, the big documentary, 451 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:02,920 but with the film, there's a slight whiff of burning bridges. 452 00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:06,960 Oh! Is there, in 2025, 453 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:11,040 a kind of letter of apology going out, 454 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:14,320 or have you made your peace with everyone in the film already? 455 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:15,480 It's... It's weird. 456 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:21,320 So, erm, I sent the first script over to Gary Barlow, 457 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,600 and he phoned me up - and we've got a great relationship now, 458 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:28,600 and there was no pointing fingers or angry - and he just went, "Rob," 459 00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,360 he said, "I come off worse than Darth Vader in the first Star Wars." 460 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,040 LAUGHTER 461 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:36,840 And so we made amendments to a bit of the script. 462 00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,680 But that's the weird thing about, if you're lucky enough 463 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:44,080 to be around this long, you prolong your career by talking about 464 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:47,480 the past, and you use documentaries and books and films 465 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,040 to remind people that you're here. 466 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:53,480 But when you talk about the past, my past happens to be contentious, 467 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:56,360 and I was a different person then, and I thought in a different way, 468 00:22:56,360 --> 00:23:01,120 and so did Gaz. And in this film, it sort of brings all that up again. 469 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:02,320 So it's super odd, 470 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,840 and I can understand how it would be triggering for him. 471 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:07,440 Everybody else in the movie that I throw under the bus, though, 472 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:08,680 fuck 'em. Yeah. 473 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,000 LAUGHTER 474 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:12,000 That really comes across. 475 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,560 APPLAUSE 476 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:18,360 Can I just assure...? Marnie and Mylah have gone home. 477 00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,960 They're gone. No, but you did that for me, 478 00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:24,440 just walking in, you know, just come in and check in 479 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,560 with somebody and, you know, 480 00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:30,600 have your history and what you've been through, 481 00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:34,360 just acknowledge that in a way, like, in an immediate way, 482 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,080 was so lovely, so thank you. 483 00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,640 Thank you. Well, God bless you. Thank you. 484 00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:39,760 And is it something about turning 50, do you think, 485 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,440 that makes you want to look back a bit? 486 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:45,400 No. No, it's just, er... 487 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,080 It's just, you know, erm, 488 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:50,800 it just seems to be that the universe has presented itself 489 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,440 with these opportunities. Yeah. 490 00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:54,840 You know, I didn't go out looking for a documentary. 491 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,920 It came to me. I didn't go out looking for a film. It came to me. 492 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,000 And it just so happens that the documentary came out this year, 493 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:02,400 and so did the film. 494 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:06,760 And I know it seems very self-absorbed of me, 495 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:08,600 but I'm very self-absorbed. 496 00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:12,320 And, you know, what a wonderful self to be absorbed by. 497 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:14,880 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 498 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,280 And also it would be terrible if the film was bad. 499 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,360 Yeah. Here's the thing. 500 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:23,840 It's been so well reviewed and received kind of everywhere, 501 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,040 and I wonder, because in the past, 502 00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:26,960 you've talked about trying to break America. 503 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,720 Is part of you now thinking, "Oh, my God, this film 504 00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:32,160 "could be the thing?" and suddenly you will break America. 505 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,240 Yeah. Yeah, maybe. 506 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:36,160 But it's not the be all and end all. 507 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,960 No, I know, but I just wondered. 508 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,720 It would scratch an itch, you know, it's that sort of thing 509 00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:44,360 that is, er, those things that are levelled against you, 510 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:45,920 like, "Well, you didn't! 511 00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,520 Like, "Well, yeah, I couldn't be arsed, really." 512 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,600 Yeah. But now... But now I am arsed. 513 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,240 Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 514 00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,600 Know this. 515 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,400 Know this, North America - I'm ready for you now. 516 00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:02,920 Middle-aged, no-arsed me, on me way, on a plane. Get ready. 517 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,240 With someone else's arse. 518 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:05,560 With someone else's arse. 519 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:07,320 APPLAUSE 520 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:11,840 That's Better Man. It's out now. 521 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,040 Hey, exciting news for theatre lovers - 522 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,880 Rami Malek is making his West End stage debut in Oedipus. 523 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,120 This is going to be at London's Old Vic from the 21st of January 524 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:24,320 to the 29th of March, 2025. 525 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:28,600 So this is a new adaptation of the Sophocles play. 526 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:29,840 So you see the word Oedipus, 527 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:32,680 you immediately think of Oedipus complex. 528 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,120 Is that involved in this play, or is this a different bit of the story? 529 00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,800 No, it's very much involved. 530 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:41,400 OK. But you realise, how many people actually know about that? 531 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:43,160 You know, it's questionable. 532 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:47,200 So there's something like a spoiler aspect to it. 533 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:50,040 When did they write this? 400 and something BC? Fair enough. 534 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,720 LAUGHTER 535 00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,040 There's got to be a cut-off point for spoilers. 536 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:58,640 Um, it's different because, OK, one, I've always wanted to work... 537 00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,400 I mean, what's better than the West End 538 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,960 or doing anything onstage in London? 539 00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:06,160 It's the peak. Yeah. 540 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,840 Yeah. Nothing beats being here in London, at a pub or working onstage, 541 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,120 and, er, and we have this great... 542 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:18,720 We've, uh, incorporated dance into it with this choreographer 543 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:22,320 who's co-directing, and his name is Hofesh Shechter. 544 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:27,120 So there's dance involved, and there's the traditional version, 545 00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:30,280 a modern take on it. It's Sophocles, as you said, 546 00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:33,400 but it just piqued my interest. 547 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:36,520 Everything kind of aligned itself in a way where I was, like, 548 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,120 "Got to do that." 549 00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:40,440 And that's just the way I keep looking at projects. 550 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:43,200 When your instinct goes, "That's the one," that's the one. 551 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,520 Yeah. I don't know if I can pull it off, but... 552 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:48,960 Well, here's hoping. Here's hoping. 553 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:54,120 But you are in rehearsals, ready to go, so can you dance? 554 00:26:54,120 --> 00:26:55,600 I can judge that. 555 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:57,600 LAUGHTER 556 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,800 Yeah. "Let me be a judge of that." 557 00:26:59,800 --> 00:27:01,480 Let me be the judge of that. 558 00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:03,720 APPLAUSE 559 00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,320 But, Motsi, like, I'm looking at Rami there, and I'm thinking, 560 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:10,760 "He's physically built like a dancer. He looks like he can move." 561 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,440 You look like you've got an extra vertebrae than me. 562 00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,840 You look like you've got a wobble about you. 563 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:17,280 I just need a great ass. 564 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,440 Can you look at somebody and go, "They can definitely dance"? 565 00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,560 Well, looking, no, but if they do, like, a walk, 566 00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:27,160 I can see if there's a talent there. If there's movement, 567 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,120 you know, the way we walk is also quite a thing with coordination. 568 00:27:30,120 --> 00:27:33,000 So you can walk and I'll be like, "Not bad." 569 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,800 I'm never walking in front of you again. 570 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:37,920 No-one wants to get out of their seat right now. 571 00:27:37,920 --> 00:27:40,400 We're just going to sit here for... 572 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,960 And thank you very much, Motsi. 573 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,440 You can go. 574 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,080 John, John, John, John, what is your go-to dance? 575 00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,640 If you're on the dance floor and you've got to, what is it? 576 00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:54,560 Do you know what I love? It's like 120 facial expressions. 577 00:27:54,560 --> 00:27:56,640 You think I've got more than one dance? 578 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,360 No. No, I think you've got one dance. 579 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,400 I've basically got that. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, yeah. 580 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:03,880 I've got that. Some people call it a dad dance. 581 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,120 I don't call it a dad dance. I had that dance before I was a dad. 582 00:28:07,120 --> 00:28:09,360 It's my dance. 583 00:28:09,360 --> 00:28:11,840 Are you on the dance floor thinking, "Oh, God, I'm dancing?" 584 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,000 Or do you just get into it and lose yourself in it? 585 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,360 I used to be self-conscious, 586 00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:19,640 and then, like you, I turned 50. Now I don't give a shit. 587 00:28:19,640 --> 00:28:22,720 I'm on that dance floor, and they're getting it. Great. 588 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:27,880 I finished one tour show by recreating Saturday Night Fever, 589 00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,120 the John Travolta bit, I put on the whole white suit 590 00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:32,640 and did the whole thing. Backing dancers. 591 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:34,640 I see it. I see it. Yeah, yeah. 592 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:37,880 And I have to be honest with you, I do two hours of stand-up 593 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:40,800 building up to this bit that I was just shitting meself for, 594 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:45,120 but I loved it. I think dance and that ability to bring movement 595 00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,120 into a play or anything like that 596 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,960 is just a wonderful thing to be able to do. Yeah, it is. 597 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:54,000 Well, I would love to invite you to come to one of my shows 598 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,600 on tour next year and do a dance for us all. 599 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:59,000 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 600 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:04,000 Deadly, deadly serious. 601 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:07,080 Don't give me that shit. "Do a dance for us all." 602 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:11,040 Like, when you say "do a dance for us all," like, who's us all? 603 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:13,600 Just, like, me and you in the dressing room? 604 00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,680 LAUGHTER 605 00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,880 "Come on, John. Shake your tush." 606 00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:20,040 "Show us your arse! Show us your arse, John!" 607 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,480 No, no, I genuinely mean a stadium full of people, 608 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,280 you as John Travolta with the white jacket. Yeah. 609 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,040 I think it would be a beautiful moment. 610 00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:30,680 I think it would be a beautiful moment. 611 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:33,480 And also a great way for me to plug my tour. 612 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:37,280 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 613 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:39,640 I'll absolutely do it if I get a cut. 614 00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,360 OK. LAUGHTER 615 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,960 And with that, the idea died. 616 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,120 LAUGHTER 617 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:48,960 Rami, we must quickly mention you've got a movie coming out in... 618 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,280 next year in April. It's called The Amateur, 619 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,640 and here's a little taste of it. 620 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:58,160 What you do is very important to what we do. 621 00:29:58,160 --> 00:29:59,600 Let us handle this. 622 00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:03,680 I want mission specific training, cash, and a new identity. 623 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,360 Have you lost your mind? 624 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,880 I want to find and kill the people who murdered my wife. 625 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:09,720 THEY LAUGH 626 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,320 I don't think you could beat a 90-year-old nun 627 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:14,160 in an arm wrestling match. 628 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:17,000 I want to face my wife's killers, 629 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,120 look them in the eyes, 630 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,520 and balance the scales. 631 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,200 You held a gun to my wife's head. 632 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,960 This is a remote that controls a device that's been decompressing 633 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,240 the glass beneath you. You have the wrong person. 634 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,920 No, I have exactly the right person. 635 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:47,720 Isn't that great? Wow! I love that. 636 00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:51,440 That's in Battersea. That swimming pool... 637 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,120 It is, yeah. You guys must know it. It's in Battersea. 638 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,920 It's up between two skyscrapers. 639 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,120 So obviously you didn't blow it up, but did you...? 640 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,720 Is that where you filmed that? It is, yeah. I produced that, 641 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,800 it's a film I've been trying to make for quite some time. 642 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:10,000 And you get to this point where acting is lovely, 643 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 and it's a gift, 644 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,160 and then you just kind of want to take things into your own hands. 645 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,960 And I'm like, after doing Bond, I was like, 646 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,280 "Could I ever play an action hero?" 647 00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:22,800 Possibly, but maybe someone who just uses his, you know, 648 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,480 brain instead of brawn, perhaps. 649 00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:27,440 What's wrong with that? 650 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,440 No, no. It's good. 651 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,480 Did the story already exist? 652 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:36,680 It did, and then I just developed it and found a great director and, er, 653 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,760 I just start putting, you know, these things together 654 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:42,120 that early on in your career, you're like, 655 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,440 "I'd never be able to pull that off." And then, sure enough, 656 00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,560 you're out there blowing up, you know, the pool in Battersea. 657 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,800 And you really did it. You got a great cast and it looks amazing. 658 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:54,200 It's out on the 11th of April. That's The Amateur. 659 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:56,200 My birthday. Oh! Lovely. 660 00:31:56,200 --> 00:32:00,000 That's why we're here. Yeah. 661 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:03,000 Thank you. Thank you! 662 00:32:03,000 --> 00:32:06,200 Now, the big sporting highlight of 2024 was the Olympics in Paris. 663 00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:07,760 Anyone go? Did anyone go? 664 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,000 Oh, a couple of people. OK. 665 00:32:09,000 --> 00:32:12,720 It was one of the big sporting events of the year. Yay! 666 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:16,200 Now, one of the most unexpected fans at the Olympics was Snoop Dogg. 667 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:21,120 He loved it. Here he is at the opening ceremony. 668 00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:22,800 Ooh! Quite the smoke. 669 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,320 Here he is at the equestrian event. 670 00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:27,360 Yeah. That horse ate that carrot, 671 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,080 then failed a drugs test. 672 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:33,280 Here he is watching the women's beach volleyball. 673 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:35,880 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 674 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,520 Motsi, I'm guessing you loved seeing the break dancing. 675 00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:44,360 Oh! It was good, wasn't it? 676 00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:47,800 Yes! It was iconic. Yeah. 677 00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,000 It was a perfect, perfect interpretation of break dancing. 678 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,320 Yes. And... I don't want to be cancelled. 679 00:32:54,320 --> 00:33:00,000 Well, no. I think we all remember Raygun from Australia. 680 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,400 There she is, doing some of her finest work. 681 00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,680 Here's another bit of her. There she goes. 682 00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:10,120 Robbie, if I dance on your tour, it'll be like that. 683 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,560 I thought it wasn't real when I saw it, 684 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:14,120 until I realised it was real. 685 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:18,920 Like, I thought it was just a TikTok thing. No. And then I, like, 686 00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:22,600 I went deep down, I started looking up absolutely everything, 687 00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:24,400 like where she lives, what she eats. 688 00:33:24,400 --> 00:33:27,160 I was like, "Is this real?" 689 00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,880 And then I was on holiday and I heard, like, 690 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,200 there were people from Australia. 691 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,680 I was in Greece and they were like, "What was she doing?" 692 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,760 "And why did she wear the cricket...?" 693 00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:38,480 I think it's the cricket thing. Like, they were going on. 694 00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,800 And at that moment, I didn't want to mention I'm a dancer. 695 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,520 I was just, "Swim away. Get away, get away." 696 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,000 I love the way that no-one knows who won the gold medal, 697 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,600 but everyone remembers Raygun. Yeah. 698 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,600 And by the way, if anyone's looking at that thinking, 699 00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:52,800 "Looks easy, I could do that, I'll enter," 700 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:55,800 you can't. After one year, they've cancelled break dancing 701 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,560 at the Olympics. It's gone. It's history. 702 00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,800 Now, I particularly enjoyed the pole vault, especially this man. 703 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,440 It was the Frenchman Anthony Ammirati. 704 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:09,240 Did you watch this, John? 705 00:34:09,240 --> 00:34:11,920 No, it's just the way you say, "I particularly enjoyed..." 706 00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,600 Why was that, Graham? Why did you particularly enjoy...? 707 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,560 He was eliminated. He was eliminated from the competition 708 00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,920 because he knocked the bar off with a certain part of his anatomy. 709 00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:25,800 Yes! Can you guess what it is, Motsi? 710 00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,920 Yes. It's a snake. 711 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,440 Yeah. I mean... LAUGHTER. 712 00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,760 There's a lot in there. 713 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,240 So that's him just on his way up. 714 00:34:33,240 --> 00:34:34,880 This next picture is extraordinary. 715 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:37,200 Like, how is he hanging on up there? 716 00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:38,800 LAUGHTER 717 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:41,040 That's a gift. 718 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,160 We've all done that. 719 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,720 We've all walked out the bathroom with a towel and no hands. 720 00:34:47,720 --> 00:34:49,400 LAUGHTER 721 00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,480 And there he is. Bless him. 722 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:54,360 And like, what do you say when you go home and your parents go, 723 00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:55,680 you know, "How did it go?" 724 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,840 "Well, I didn't get a medal, but now I've got an OnlyFans site." 725 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:00,280 "It's great." 726 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,880 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 727 00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:07,800 Listen, my favourite gymnastics play of 2024 came not from the Olympics 728 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,760 in France, but here, here in Enfield, North London. 729 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,920 Now, this clip went viral this year. 730 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,680 It's two ladies. They're friends. 731 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,680 I'm sure you've seen this. One's locked out of their house... 732 00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,320 Yeah. 733 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,600 And they decide to go in through the window. 734 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,000 I don't know, if you haven't seen this, it's a joy. 735 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,600 You might think twice about going to the pub after you see this. 736 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,440 Yeah. Here we go. 737 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:35,960 So she's been locked out, so pop in through the window. 738 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,000 What could possibly go wrong? 739 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,120 Here we go. Lovely work. 740 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:42,320 And... Oh. Oh, dear. 741 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:45,280 LAUGHTER 742 00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:52,320 Keep going, keep going. 743 00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:53,920 There you go! 744 00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:55,880 Nearly in. 745 00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:57,360 Nearly in! 746 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:01,800 Very good. 747 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:08,400 And I am very excited to say that those two ladies 748 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:11,280 from Enfield, they're in our audience. 749 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:14,880 Lisa and Lisa. Where are Lisa and Lisa? 750 00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,680 There they are! Hi! 751 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,600 Oh! 752 00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:24,640 Seriously, so many of us have watched that clip 753 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:28,320 and laughed so hard. So just to make sure, so we know, 754 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:29,760 so who went through the window? 755 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,680 Lisa on the aisle? You went through the window. 756 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,400 Eyes on the face. And... 757 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:38,760 And then, Lisa, you just did the pushing. 758 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,560 So who filmed it, Lisa or Lisa? 759 00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:42,800 Oh, you're here! Oh, right. 760 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,320 So who are you? Her partner. 761 00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:47,400 OK. And why were you...? 762 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:49,240 Why was it being filmed? 763 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,960 Because whenever these two are together, something goes left. 764 00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,080 It went south that day. Yeah, it went south. 765 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,560 LAUGHTER 766 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:04,000 And there was... There was... What I like is there's a detail 767 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,240 that a lot of people didn't pick up in the video. Oh, Christ! 768 00:37:07,240 --> 00:37:09,200 So more happened. 769 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:13,800 So Lisa's bosoms fell out, and then what else happened, Lisa? 770 00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,960 I peed around my neck. 771 00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,280 LAUGHTER 772 00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:21,720 If you listen carefully, you can hear her through the window, going, 773 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:23,880 "I've wet myself!" I'm weeing! I'm weeing! 774 00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,480 LAUGHTER 775 00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,320 Who posted it? 776 00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:30,840 Some woman in Northern Ireland. 777 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:34,880 I got a phone call at 8.30 at night from my friend in Bolton going, 778 00:37:34,880 --> 00:37:37,920 "You're all over t'internet." 779 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:39,920 LAUGHTER 780 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,280 I didn't know whether to stand up, sit down, I had... 781 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:44,680 Oh, my God, I didn't... I was crying. 782 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,280 I just didn't know what to do. 783 00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,280 We would never have put it out there, 784 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,040 so someone done something, I suppose. 785 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,760 So were you, like, were you embarrassed and then pleased? 786 00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,240 Bit late, isn't it, to be embarrassed? 787 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:58,200 LAUGHTER 788 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,480 Oh, it is genius. And again, did anything come of it? 789 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:04,520 Have you got, like, a bra sponsorship or...? 790 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:08,560 We were expecting a few pantomime offers as the Ugly Sisters, 791 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,480 but that never came. 792 00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,920 Aw! But we've done a few little bits now. 793 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:16,480 We've got people in Texas want to buy the window and all sorts. 794 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,440 LAUGHTER 795 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,320 Great! Sell it! Sell it. 796 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:23,800 Lisa and Lisa, everybody. 797 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:26,160 Happy New Year to you. Have a great 2025. 798 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,920 Oh! That's funny. 799 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,560 That is funny. 800 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,920 Motsi Mabuse, Strictly's over for another year, 801 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,160 but it's hitting the road. Oh, yes. The Strictly Come Dancing live tour, 802 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,440 it starts the 17th of January in Birmingham, 803 00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:44,280 going all around the country 804 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:48,600 through to London's O2 in February. Tickets are on sale now. 805 00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,520 You haven't done the road tour before. 806 00:38:50,520 --> 00:38:51,960 I have never been on tour, 807 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,640 and I'm super excited to join the other judges. 808 00:38:54,640 --> 00:38:56,880 So it's all four of you this time? Yes. 809 00:38:56,880 --> 00:38:58,880 Is this the first time it's been all four? 810 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,640 Yes, with me in it. Like, there have been other judges, 811 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:04,480 I think they went on tour, but this is my first year. 812 00:39:04,480 --> 00:39:06,520 OK, so do you know how it works yet? Like... 813 00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,520 Because presumably you see the same dancers every night? 814 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:10,720 Yes, we see the same dancers every night. 815 00:39:10,720 --> 00:39:12,720 The audience changes, and they... 816 00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:15,080 LAUGHTER 817 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,720 It's like a tour! It's like a tour. 818 00:39:17,720 --> 00:39:20,800 Oh, is it different places? It's different places. 819 00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:23,440 They get to vote on their phone, on text, 820 00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,040 and then they choose the winner of the night. Ah, OK. 821 00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:29,320 Because I noticed this year on Strictly, they gave the judges 822 00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:30,800 kind of more to do. 823 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:32,680 Yes. They gave you kind of little dances and things. 824 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,560 So are you guys going to be doing a number on the tour? 825 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:37,440 We will do a number on the tour, yeah. 826 00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,000 I think it's nice, you know, because we don't get to dance so much 827 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,280 when we're, like, judges, so we do have a number on the tour, 828 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,560 a very nice number, so, yeah, excited about it. 829 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,960 OK. And on this tour, are you going to places you've never been to 830 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,880 before? I... Everything. 831 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:52,760 I've never been to any place that we are going on tour, 832 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,840 so, like, I'm taking the whole family. 833 00:39:54,840 --> 00:39:58,160 We're going to go on tour in the country, get the culture, 834 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,160 meet the people. I've been doing the show for six years, 835 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:02,960 so I'm super excited. That's lovely. It is. 836 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:04,960 Because Birmingham in January, I... 837 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,080 LAUGHTER 838 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,240 You're going to love that, yeah. 839 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:10,040 That's the only thing, people keep on telling me, 840 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,160 "There's nothing to do." I'm like, "I don't care." 841 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,640 Like, on TikTok, I've found restaurants, 842 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:18,800 places to go in the sauna. Like, I've done my work. 843 00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,360 We're ready. All right, Motsi's ready. 844 00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:22,720 Motsi - ready! 845 00:40:22,720 --> 00:40:24,800 LAUGHTER 846 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,080 And, Motsi, do you miss dancing? 847 00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:30,200 I do miss dancing. It's, you know, it's the biggest part of my life, 848 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,280 and I just get to do it, you know, in the kitchen and stuff. 849 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,320 My little girl has started dancing, 850 00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:37,640 so I'm a dance mom, and I'm very involved. 851 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:41,400 And it's just... It's beautiful. It's a beautiful sensation. 852 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,240 You can't explain it to anybody. 853 00:40:43,240 --> 00:40:45,360 You kind of slip away and you're in your own world. 854 00:40:45,360 --> 00:40:47,440 Would you be tempted to do a show or something? 855 00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:51,520 Oh, man, I'd need that Ozempic, and then I've got... 856 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,520 I've got a hook-up for that. 857 00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:57,680 I love the fact that you said your five-year-old girl's dancing 858 00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:58,920 and you're a dance mom. 859 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:04,040 Imagine being the dance teacher with Motsi Mabuse. 860 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:07,440 "Go on, teach her. Go on." No, but you know what? 861 00:41:07,440 --> 00:41:10,880 My little girl has been watching dancing from day one. 862 00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:12,920 Oh, yeah. So she thinks she can dance, 863 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,920 so it's very difficult for me to teach her because she says, 864 00:41:15,920 --> 00:41:17,640 "I know, Mom, I can." 865 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,280 So I've passed it on to teachers and I'm just controlling myself. 866 00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,120 My husband's like, "Calm down, calm down." 867 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:26,040 Because I'm like, "Go!" "Calm down." 868 00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,840 So it's, yeah, it's difficult. 869 00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:30,920 Now I just sit there and I'm a dance mom and I look pretty and... 870 00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,680 Yes. Do you find there's times, though, that you're hard on her, 871 00:41:34,680 --> 00:41:36,200 because you know what you know? 872 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,320 Oh, man. The first time I gave her a lesson, 873 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,720 I gave her a lesson, and then I said, "Never, ever," 874 00:41:40,720 --> 00:41:44,480 because she's got a dance partner, and I said he was great. 875 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:48,160 I said she was great too, but not as loud. Right. 876 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,640 And then I said, you made a tiny mistake, and she burst into tears. 877 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:54,360 I went out to cry, and I said to my husband, 878 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,000 "I'm not doing that again. I am never doing it again." 879 00:41:57,000 --> 00:42:00,000 So I've passed on, like Auntie Oti... 880 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,680 Of course. Yeah. ..My husband. 881 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,560 Auntie Oti's husband. Let your daughter hate HER. 882 00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:07,440 Yes! Yes. 883 00:42:07,440 --> 00:42:09,520 Do you find that with your kids as well? 884 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,480 Because, like, they've only ever known you as the famous. 885 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,440 Robbie Williams, the big pop star, 886 00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,880 and all kids at some point want to be a pop star. 887 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,640 Do you ever say, "Look, this is not the job for you"? 888 00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:20,680 Or do you look at them and go, 889 00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:22,480 you've got enough talent, you've got to work...? 890 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:25,240 My Charlie's here tonight, and so is Teddy. 891 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:28,560 And Charlie's nine, and I came onstage - 892 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,600 and this happens every night that he comes to the show - 893 00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:34,920 came onstage in front of 125,000 people in Munich, 894 00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:39,200 like, two years ago, and I am giving it everything. 895 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:44,400 The bravado, you know, the stance, the look, the triumphant... 896 00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:49,120 And I look down, and I can see Charlie in the VIP section 897 00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,640 just on his iPad. 898 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,520 APPLAUSE 899 00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:55,920 They're real. They keep you grounded, kids. 900 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,720 I meant to ask this earlier. In the film, 901 00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:01,400 in Better Man, the film, why do you stop where you stop? 902 00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:05,840 We never get to you as a, you know, married man, as a dad. 903 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:07,760 Betterer Man. 904 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,040 Best Man. Best Man. Better Man II. 905 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,400 That could be the sequel. Yeah, I don't really know. 906 00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:15,960 It all got boring after that. 907 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,160 Happy. I got happy. I was happy. 908 00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:20,920 I'm happy and grounded. Who wants to see that? 909 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,360 Yeah. Good point, well made. 910 00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:24,840 Right, let's move on, because. 911 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:28,680 John Bishop is about to celebrate his 25th year as a stand-up. 912 00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:30,520 Could have gone out for dinner, but, no, 913 00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,640 he's doing another tour to celebrate. 914 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:35,400 It starts on October the 1st in Plymouth. 915 00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:37,840 APPLAUSE Yeah! 916 00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:42,400 And so is this...? It's a brand-new tour. 917 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,400 You're planning it now. Comes out next October. 918 00:43:44,400 --> 00:43:46,120 Yeah, yeah. Like, I'm on tour at the moment. 919 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:48,000 I'm doing a tour at the moment that ends in April. 920 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,920 But this is a different show, different tour. 921 00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:53,360 And it's also reflecting the fact that I never expected 922 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,640 to do this as a job. 923 00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:58,720 So it's 25 years since my first-ever gig. 924 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:02,560 My first-ever gig was in a comedy club in Manchester 925 00:44:02,560 --> 00:44:04,400 called the Frog And Bucket. So I'm doing... 926 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,320 Which you're returning to. Yeah, I'm doing all the arenas, 927 00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:08,880 plus the Frog And Bucket. 928 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,840 I've booked the Frog And Bucket on a Monday night. 929 00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,040 And is it still going as a comedy club, or do you...? 930 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,560 Yeah, yeah, it's still going. I mean, like, the thing with comedy, 931 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:20,320 as you know, like, you need comedy clubs to make it work. 932 00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:22,920 You can't become a comedian any other way. 933 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:24,960 Some people are doing it now via podcasts. 934 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:27,680 But in reality, to be a proper stand-up, 935 00:44:27,680 --> 00:44:31,160 you need to do 1,000 nights in 1,000 clubs. And that Frog And Bucket, 936 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,320 was that your first paid gig or was it literally your first-ever gig? 937 00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,120 Oh, no, my first ever, ever walk on a stage. And what was your act? 938 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,960 Well, I didn't have one. OK. I literally didn't have one. 939 00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:43,960 I didn't go to get onstage. Prior to that, 940 00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,440 I'd only been to two comedy clubs in me whole life, 941 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:48,640 so I had no interest in doing it. 942 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,040 But I only went cos I was depressed. 943 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:52,960 So I'd split up with my wife, 944 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,000 it was a Monday night. 945 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:59,080 I had the kids all weekend, and then on a Monday, I was just depressed. 946 00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,840 So I thought, "I'll do something that you can do on your own," 947 00:45:01,840 --> 00:45:04,240 and it was either a comedy club or lap dancing. 948 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:05,640 LAUGHTER 949 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:07,880 Honest to God, I was a shit lap dancer, so... 950 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,480 The choices! 951 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:13,280 25 years lap dancing for the nation! 952 00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,840 Imagine that career. 953 00:45:14,840 --> 00:45:17,200 No, and I was, you know, 954 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,880 I was 34, coming on to 35, 955 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:22,240 and I was just literally looking for something to do. 956 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:24,560 And I walked up to the door 957 00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,680 thinking it would be a full comedy club. 958 00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:32,280 And the guy on the door said to me, "It's £4 to get in," 959 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,160 "but it's free if you put your name down." 960 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,000 And I said, "Put me name down for what?" 961 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,920 He said, "It's an open mic night," 962 00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,400 and I genuinely didn't know what that meant. 963 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:42,280 He said, "That means you put your name down", 964 00:45:42,280 --> 00:45:44,840 "and if your name gets called out, you get onstage." 965 00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:47,320 And because I'd only been to two comedy clubs and they'd always 966 00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,120 been full, I thought, "Well, there'll be 200 people." 967 00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:50,240 "They'll never get to me." 968 00:45:50,240 --> 00:45:53,280 And, you know, it was £4. You know, I was going through a divorce. 969 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,400 I thought, "Well, that's £4 she's not getting." 970 00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,960 So I put me name down, expecting never to be called out, 971 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,800 and I walked in, and there was seven people in the place, 972 00:46:04,800 --> 00:46:08,760 and five of them had put their name down. And literally... 973 00:46:08,760 --> 00:46:11,920 I mean, like, I'm sat here on this couch 974 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:15,440 with these talented people, with you, in this world, 975 00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,800 and none of this would have happened but for that night. 976 00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,640 And for a 15-minute window. If I'd have been called out... 977 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:24,120 I got called out second. If I'd have been called out third, 978 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,000 I might have already left. 979 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,320 So I got called out second 980 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:32,200 after a Geordie fella doing chicken impressions. 981 00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:34,240 LAUGHTER 982 00:46:34,240 --> 00:46:36,200 I'm not kidding. 983 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,720 Is he celebrating 25 years? 984 00:46:38,720 --> 00:46:40,280 Where is he now? 985 00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:42,480 He's got his own chicken farm now. 986 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:45,040 He's... No, he was... 987 00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,440 I remember sitting in the audience thinking... 988 00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,360 This brilliant comedian called Mick Ferry come on, who was compering, 989 00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:52,640 and I was thinking, "Does he not know there's no-one here?" 990 00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,880 And he went, "Your first act is..." and this fella come on, going... 991 00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,480 "Whoa! All right. You know, yeah," 992 00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,520 "have you ever seen a chicken drive a van?" 993 00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:01,280 HE CLUCKS 994 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,840 I was sat there thinking... 995 00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,520 It sounds quite good. 996 00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:07,920 "Have you ever seen a chicken playing football?" 997 00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:10,480 HE CLUCKS 998 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:14,520 And then... And then he called out my name, 999 00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:16,880 and I remember I walked onstage. 1000 00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:19,320 Never been on a stage, as I say. 1001 00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,040 I'd done sales presentations and stuff like that. Yeah. 1002 00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,000 I remember the lights in my eyes, 1003 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,280 saying something about the lights being bright, 1004 00:47:26,280 --> 00:47:29,120 and then I thought, "What am I doing here?" 1005 00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,720 "This is just ridiculous. Like, I've never thought of doing this." 1006 00:47:32,720 --> 00:47:34,760 And then I thought, "Well, what's me choice? 1007 00:47:34,760 --> 00:47:37,240 "I'm going to go home to an empty house, not living with the woman 1008 00:47:37,240 --> 00:47:38,840 "I want to live with, not living with me kids. 1009 00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:40,520 "I'll just go home to a bottle of wine. 1010 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:41,720 "And what have I got to lose? 1011 00:47:41,720 --> 00:47:44,000 "There's, like, there's only seven people here," 1012 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,400 "and one of them thinks he's a chicken, so..." 1013 00:47:48,040 --> 00:47:50,840 So I just literally started talking, 1014 00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:55,960 and I remember I started talking, I said some half joke, 1015 00:47:55,960 --> 00:47:57,880 and then I had nothing to say. 1016 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:01,240 I had no jokes. So I just went, "I'm getting divorced." 1017 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,800 And I started talking about getting divorced. 1018 00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:05,960 And in comedy clubs, when your time's up, 1019 00:48:05,960 --> 00:48:07,600 there's a red light that flashes. 1020 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,000 I didn't even know that. 1021 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,040 So I remember going, "Oh, your light's broke." 1022 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,840 And I just carried on talking. LAUGHTER 1023 00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,320 I just carried on talking. 1024 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:16,480 I was meant to do seven minutes. 1025 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,480 Because there was no-one there, they let me carry on. 1026 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:21,880 I did about 25, half an hour or something, and I walked off. 1027 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:25,920 And I remember Mick, the compere, and the fellow who run the place, 1028 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,440 Dave Perkins, coming up to me and said, 1029 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:28,960 "Where have you been doing your stand-up?" 1030 00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:30,960 I said, "I've never done it in me life." 1031 00:48:30,960 --> 00:48:33,400 And he said, "Well, some of that was really good." 1032 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,080 He said, "Some of that was funny." 1033 00:48:35,080 --> 00:48:37,560 He said, "The bit where you started talking about getting divorced" 1034 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,040 "and you started crying, don't do that again." 1035 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,160 LAUGHTER 1036 00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,480 He said, "But come back, come back, and we're here every Monday." 1037 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:46,880 So it was like counselling. 1038 00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,040 So I just kept on going back. 1039 00:48:49,040 --> 00:48:52,440 Wow. What an amazing journey. 25 years of John Bishop, everybody! 1040 00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,040 APPLAUSE 1041 00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:00,120 Right, it's time for music. 1042 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:01,400 Are we all ready? 1043 00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:03,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1044 00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:05,360 Robbie Williams, are you ready? 1045 00:49:05,360 --> 00:49:07,640 I am! Excellent. Here we go! 1046 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,680 All right, I'll just give you your coat, sir. 1047 00:49:10,680 --> 00:49:13,560 Thank you very much. Pop that on. 1048 00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:15,560 Lovely. There you go. 1049 00:49:26,600 --> 00:49:28,720 If you're not with the man. 1050 00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:32,680 Funk. 1051 00:49:32,680 --> 00:49:33,760 Soul. 1052 00:50:35,560 --> 00:50:36,920 Right 1053 00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:38,800 then you're with the wrong man 1054 00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:43,520 but your best friend can 1055 00:51:42,440 --> 00:51:45,840 bounce, bounce. 1056 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:43,680 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1057 00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,680 Wow! 1058 00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:54,920 That's how you do it! 1059 00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:01,920 Robbie Williams, his band, his dancers, 1060 00:53:01,920 --> 00:53:03,680 thank you so much. 1061 00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:05,680 Oh! 1062 00:53:10,880 --> 00:53:12,440 Play Angels! 1063 00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,000 LAUGHTER 1064 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:20,680 she offers me protection. 1065 00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:37,840 Tour next year. Tickets remarkably still available. 1066 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,200 LAUGHTER 1067 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:45,600 Not the first night. They all sold out in five minutes. 1068 00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:50,880 No dynamic ticket prices for this tour. 1069 00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:53,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1070 00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:56,680 Robbie Williams! 1071 00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,640 Oh! It was fantastic. 1072 00:53:58,640 --> 00:54:01,160 Come on back, sir. Come on back. 1073 00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:02,920 Thank you so much for that. 1074 00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:06,280 That was absolutely amazing. 1075 00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,640 Come on, sir, have a seat, have a seat, have a seat. 1076 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,040 Well, how good was that? Yeah. Yeah! I loved it. 1077 00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:12,560 Thank you, darling. 1078 00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:14,920 And we should... Thanks, love. 1079 00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,160 No, YOU were great. You were great. 1080 00:54:18,160 --> 00:54:20,760 And we should say, by the way, if you haven't seen the film, 1081 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:21,880 when you see the film, 1082 00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,720 you'll get all sorts of Easter eggs from that performance and things. 1083 00:54:24,720 --> 00:54:30,600 We should also say that version of Rock DJ is on the soundtrack album. 1084 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,120 Yes, it is. Very much so, yeah. Yeah. Very good. 1085 00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:36,720 And, now, you've mentioned the tour, but we might as well plug it again. 1086 00:54:36,720 --> 00:54:37,880 Yeah. 1087 00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:39,400 LAUGHTER 1088 00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:41,720 So this is a proper world tour. 1089 00:54:41,720 --> 00:54:45,520 Yeah, a proper world tour. And maybe North America. Ooh! 1090 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:47,760 I might be going to America. 1091 00:54:47,760 --> 00:54:49,480 Oh! But will they know who you are? 1092 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,080 I've been to London. 1093 00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:53,280 Next - America. 1094 00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:59,480 Hey, if you go to America, I'll come and dance for you. OK. 1095 00:54:59,480 --> 00:55:00,760 It's a deal. 1096 00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:02,720 All right, that's nearly all we've got time for, 1097 00:55:02,720 --> 00:55:06,120 but just time for a quick visit to the big red chair. 1098 00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:07,880 Let's have a look. New... 1099 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,200 Oh, look, it's a festive jumper. Hello, sir. 1100 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,160 Hello. Hi. What's your name? 1101 00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:14,360 John. John, lovely. And where are you from, John? 1102 00:55:14,360 --> 00:55:16,320 From Watford. Watford. 1103 00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:17,920 Is that a pug on your jumper? 1104 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,680 I believe so. 1105 00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:21,240 Oh, no, it's a polar bear. 1106 00:55:21,240 --> 00:55:22,720 There. It's a polar bear. 1107 00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:24,320 LAUGHTER 1108 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:26,440 If anyone asks you again, John, no, it's not. 1109 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,800 LAUGHTER 1110 00:55:28,800 --> 00:55:30,440 And what do you do, John? 1111 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,400 I'm an accountant. Of course you are! 1112 00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:34,880 Off you go with your story. 1113 00:55:34,880 --> 00:55:38,000 Thank you. Late '90s, New Year's Eve party, 1114 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:40,200 two girls there, let's call them Little and Large, 1115 00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,040 because they were. I get off with Little, my mate gets off with Large. 1116 00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,360 I can't. I can't listen to... 1117 00:55:45,360 --> 00:55:47,360 LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE 1118 00:55:47,360 --> 00:55:50,880 It's New Year's. We're literally running out of time. 1119 00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:53,120 It's nearly the end of the year. 1120 00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,360 That was the last thing of the year! 1121 00:55:54,360 --> 00:55:56,200 We'll have one more. We'll have one more. 1122 00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,760 Yeah, come on. Come on, 2024. Deliver. Deliver, 2024. 1123 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:01,160 Hello. Hi. Hello! 1124 00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:02,760 We have high hopes. What's your name? 1125 00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,160 Lydia. Lydia. Lovely. 1126 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,160 And where are you from, Lydia? I'm from St Albans. 1127 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,520 St Albans. Lovely. And what do you do in in St Albans, Lydia? 1128 00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,360 I... Well, I live in London, and I work for a private members' club. 1129 00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:15,480 Oh, hello! There we go. 1130 00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,920 Is anyone on the couch in your story? 1131 00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,120 Er, the host might be. 1132 00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:23,360 Oh, no. No, it's not that... 1133 00:56:23,360 --> 00:56:25,880 LAUGHTER 1134 00:56:25,880 --> 00:56:28,800 Are you regretting...? You regretted the first one. 1135 00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,280 Not tonight. Not tonight. 1136 00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,600 Not tonight! I believe they're just reloading. 1137 00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,800 LAUGHTER 1138 00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,560 She didn't look like she worked in a dungeon, did she? 1139 00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:42,560 Yeah. What a shame! 1140 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,480 What sort of private members' club do you think it was? 1141 00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:48,680 Do you not know what's coming? 1142 00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,640 No, no. You don't? No, I genuinely don't. 1143 00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:53,360 Oh, you were just like, "Fuck this." LAUGHTER. 1144 00:56:53,360 --> 00:56:56,800 Yeah, yeah. "No way." I wasn't going to risk it. "No way." 1145 00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,320 If I was in the story... 1146 00:56:58,320 --> 00:56:59,600 I'm with you. Do we have another one? 1147 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,480 Oh, we do! Hello. Hello. 1148 00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,240 Hi! What a seasonal shirt. Thank you very much. 1149 00:57:04,240 --> 00:57:06,280 LAUGHTER 1150 00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:09,400 What's your name? 1151 00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:10,960 My name is Chris. Chris. Lovely. 1152 00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:12,160 And where are you from, Chris? 1153 00:57:12,160 --> 00:57:13,920 Originally Devon, but living in Uxbridge. 1154 00:57:13,920 --> 00:57:15,600 Uxbridge. What do you do in Uxbridge? 1155 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:16,960 So I'm in the Royal Air Force. 1156 00:57:16,960 --> 00:57:18,560 Hello! 1157 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:21,320 No wonder he's wearing a fancy holiday shirt. 1158 00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:22,760 Erm... 1159 00:57:22,760 --> 00:57:23,920 what's your story, sir? 1160 00:57:23,920 --> 00:57:26,400 So many years ago, my girlfriend at the time took me 1161 00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,760 with her to her family between Christmas and New Year. 1162 00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:30,960 We had some food. 1163 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,520 I placed my side plate on the arm of my chair at the time, 1164 00:57:34,520 --> 00:57:37,440 and then I discovered that, in the box of chocolates 1165 00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,120 there were only nutty chocolates left, 1166 00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:41,320 and I really don't like nutty chocolates, 1167 00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:42,600 so that was all that was left, 1168 00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,640 so I started sucking the chocolate off the nuts 1169 00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:47,720 and putting the nuts back on my side plate. Ew! 1170 00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:50,560 Anyway, I'd amassed quite a collection of hazelnuts, 1171 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:54,480 just as my, er, my girlfriend's elder sister walked in, 1172 00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:57,160 and quick as a flash, she said, "Oh, not eating those?" 1173 00:57:57,160 --> 00:57:59,280 Scooped them up, shoved them in her mouth, and ate them. 1174 00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,320 GROANS OF DISGUST 1175 00:58:01,320 --> 00:58:03,840 To this day, she has no idea that happened. 1176 00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:05,600 Now, I'm feeling generous on New Year's Eve. 1177 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:06,960 Should we let him walk? Thank you. 1178 00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:08,560 Yeah, you can walk. 1179 00:58:08,560 --> 00:58:10,920 You can walk. Royal Air Force. Royal Air Force. Yes. 1180 00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:12,840 APPLAUSE 1181 00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,800 OK, that really is all we've got time for. 1182 00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,360 Please say a huge thank you to all my guests tonight, 1183 00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,040 John Bishop, 1184 00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:24,040 Motsi Mabuse, 1185 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:25,440 Rami Malek 1186 00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,560 and Mr Robbie Williams. 1187 00:58:28,560 --> 00:58:30,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1188 00:58:30,240 --> 00:58:32,160 And thanks to all of you for watching. 1189 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,520 From all of us here, have a very happy New Year. 1190 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:36,360 Goodnight, everybody. Bye-bye! 1191 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:38,000 Oh, my God! 1192 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:40,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE