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Hello, I'm Sam Neill,
all the way from New Zealand,
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welcoming you to
The Graham Norton Show.
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This programme contains
some strong language.
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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
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Hello, good evening,
you're all so welcome to the show.
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Oh, clapping ourselves in an empty
room with just a few sycophantic
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members of staff to cheer us along.
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I feel like Boris Johnson
visiting Scotland.
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I don't know exactly
where he visited, perhaps
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it was the famous Scottish resort
of Loch Down.
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It's been a long year already!
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No audience here in the studio,
but we do have a fantastic virtual
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audience watching from home.
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Hello, everybody!
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Look at them, pages of them, pages!
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I know why you're all happy,
yes, only two more days
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of Dry January left.
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Like anyone has been doing that!
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So who have we got for
you on the show tonight?
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Well, me here in the studio
is comedian and actor
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turned novelist, Andi Osho!
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Star of Cold Feet and
The Hobbit, Jimmy Nesbitt!
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From Doctor Who and I Hate Suzie,
Billie Piper is with us!
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And it's The Voice himself,
music legend Sir Tom Jones!
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Thank you, thank you.
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Plus, shortly we will be joined
live from New Zealand
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by Jurassic Park star Sam Neill!
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I know!
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That's nice, very nice!
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Yes, you might well clap,
it's a very good show!
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Billie can't stop!
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So, welcome, all.
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First time for you, Andi.
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Yes, yes.
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And Billie and Jimmy,
you know each other, don't you?
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Billie and I know each other, yeah.
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Yeah.
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A long time ago, I think
I was with you on your first...
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It was my first
professional job, yeah.
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It was a BBC adaptation
of The Canterbury Tales by Chaucer.
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I remember that!
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And they were shooting
it quite quickly.
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Yeah.
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And you have to get to know
each other really quite
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quickly, if you recall.
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I think it was my first
of many sex scenes!
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But you sort of meet and you go,
"Hi, I'm Jimmy and this is my arse."
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And Sir Tom, a double
celebration for Tom Jones,
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because since we last met,
you have unbelievably
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turned 80 years old.
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80, yes.
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Wow!
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And there should be
a confetti cannon or something,
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because you've also had the vaccine?
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Yes, two of them.
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Yeah!
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You're fully vaccinated?
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I've had the two, yes.
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Let's all cough on Tom!
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That was two weeks ago,
when I had the second
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one, so now I am like,
you know, bullet-proof.
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I'm going to be gobbing
all in your direction.
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Actually, we should all hug Tom!
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So, you are now good?
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Yes.
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Now everybody else
has got to get it.
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Because I thought, oh,
I'll be able to go out and sing
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some live shows now.
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But you've got to have
an audience for that.
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If they haven't
had it, what's the point?
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Yeah, "I'm fine!"
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But you're singing for us later?
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Yes.
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I'm delighted to say,
live in the studio!
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That is a treat, isn't it?
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Just us in this room and then you're
going to be singing.
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Exactly.
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But I was thinking, you've
been going a while...
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Yes, quite a while, yes.
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A new record, a new single,
do you still enjoy it,
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do you still get excited?
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I love it.
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I sing around the house,
I sing when I don't get paid for it.
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I mean, I love to sing, I really do.
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And it...
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You get the hook, you know.
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Any chance I've got of getting up
and singing, I will.
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Because, Billie Piper,
how long was it before you got
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tired of the singing?
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Like, three years.
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I was retired by 18.
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And then, I met you.
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That was my journey.
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Was that a good point as well,
when you met Jimmy,
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it was like, "I'm out!
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This is for me now."
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This is for me.
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And you knocked it on the head,
didn't you, it didn't
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knock you on the head,
if you know what I mean?
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Yeah, I knocked it
on their head when I was 18.
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So I think I signed my record deal
when I was, like, 14, and then...
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You always show that picture,
like I haven't got any others!
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It's just on my computer.
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Not just yours!
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You love that shot.
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So, yeah, about 18, I was done
and dusted, exhausted,
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and ready for a big change.
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Look at Tom Jones!
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I know, that's something
completely different.
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You can sing really
well for a start!
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That's a difference.
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Because Andi, you were in
a band, weren't you?
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That's right, yeah.
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I think for probably
about six weeks?
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OK!
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We got a letter from
the people who were running
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the band or whatever...
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Whatever!
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Telling us that they didn't want me
and my mate in the band.
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It was the weirdest way to get
rejected from the band.
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It was like being
rejected for a mortgage.
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Just tell us to our faces!
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We were only 16...
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Were you in school?
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Well, we were in school
but they were in college.
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They were grown-ups!
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They had access to a printer.
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Yeah, it was pretty humiliating.
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You know, James Nesbitt,
fabulous actor, but I think
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it's fair to say that music
was your first love?
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No, well, it was.
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I sang a lot as a child.
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We were from quite a musical family.
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And you were in musicals?
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I was in musicals.
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The first job I did
was I played the Artful Dodger.
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People talk of it still!
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People say I'm still playing
exactly the same role.
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But no, I played
the Artful Dodger when I was 13.
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Then did telly come
crawling immediately?
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Well, my friends, as a result,
wrote to Gloria Hunniford,
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you remember Gloria?
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Of course!
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What Gloria used to do,
she was like the doyenne
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of news and magazine kind
of television programmes.
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She was the
Graham Norton of her day.
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She is the Gloria Hunniford of now!
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She's a fantastic woman.
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And my friends had written
to her unbeknownst to me,
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saying that they wanted to set up
an Ulster youth theatre, and she did
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a live magazine show every night,
and so I knew nothing about this,
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I was playing rugby, actually,
in Coleraine, in school one day,
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I was dragged off the pitch,
thrown into a car by this director,
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me and my mates were taken up
to Belfast, went live on a show
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in our costumes from Oliver
that we put on in the car on the way
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up, and at the end of it,
we did a bit of a chat
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with Gloria about setting up
an Ulster youth theatre,
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we were 13, and at the end of it,
Gloria said,
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"Well, we've got a bit of time,
so the boys are going to sing us out
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with There's No Business
Like Showbusiness," which is not
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a song from Oliver.
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So, we stood behind Gloria
and she went, "Take it away!"
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And the other two couldn't sing
to save their lives, and we went...
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# There's no business
like show business
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# Like no business
I know...#
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HE MUMBLES
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So there was this terrible,
awkward silence, and Gloria
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just went, "Oh, well,
at least they're
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all full of spunk!"
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And I...
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LAUGHTER
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We were 13.
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When you are 13,
spunk means one thing.
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So I burst out laughing.
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Meanwhile, my mother
and father were in Coleraine,
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waiting for me to come home
from rugby for my tea,
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so it was quite a rude
awakening to my TV career!
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Well, we don't have the clip
of Gloria talking about your spunk,
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but we do have another clip.
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How old are you in this clip,
do you know the one I mean?
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All That Jazz?
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Yeah!
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Oh, no, I'm 13 or 14 in this.
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It is...
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..beautiful!
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No, this is 14-year-old...
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What were you going to say?
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My children love
this, my children...
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When Mary and Peggy often,
if I've said something
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to annoy them or whatever,
they'll just send me
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a still from this other video.
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And they'll say, "How did
you ever have children?"
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Oh, no!
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This is 14-year-old Jimmy Nesbitt
performing All That Jazz.
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Oh, God!
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# Come on, babe, why
don't we paint the town?
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# And all that jazz
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# I'm gonna rouge my knees
and roll my stockings down
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# And all that jazz
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00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,360
# Start the car, I know
a whoopee spot
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00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,760
# Where the gin is cold but the
piano's hot.
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00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,360
# It's just a noisy hall
where there's a nightly brawl.
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00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:50,520
# And all that jazz....#
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00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:52,600
Gorgeous!
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00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,640
What a voice!
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00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:58,880
I don't remember being
that camp, actually!
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I'm sure if we had a clip
of Tom Jones at 14, it wouldn't look
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00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:04,760
as old as that bit of film!
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00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:06,480
I know!
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00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,880
It looked like you were
performing in a great panic!
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00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:12,080
Yeah, I should have been!
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00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:14,880
Right, let's crack on.
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00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:20,400
What an amazing time
to be Billie Piper!
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00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,840
You are on such a roll!
215
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:22,880
Thank you!
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00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,560
I Hate Suzie, such a big hit.
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00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,480
I mean, were you daunted,
were you terrified,
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or did you kind of think,
"Oh, here we go?"
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00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,280
I was really excited
for the show to come out,
220
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:35,280
because it felt like I was doing
something finally that I come um...
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00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,160
because it felt like I was doing
something finally that I, um...
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00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,560
..that made sense to me,
and it's a big howl,
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00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:43,560
really, of everything,
so it felt very satisfying.
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00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:47,440
And also, it's kind of weird,
and actually, I am a bit weird.
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00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:49,920
So it was nice to put
that out there.
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00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,680
Well, I mean, did you see
the tweet just yesterday?
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00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:57,000
You must have seen this tweet.
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00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,440
No, I haven't seen the tweet.
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00:09:58,440 --> 00:10:00,640
The Lena Dunham one?
230
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,680
What's Lena Dunham saying?
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00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,080
Lena Dunham, you know,
created Girls and some other things,
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00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,040
she tweeted this just yesterday.
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Hear, hear!
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00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:18,480
I love "runaway libido"!
235
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It's good!
236
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,440
It's true.
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00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:24,320
And presumably, she saw it because
it's still on Sky on demand...
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00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,600
Yeah, yeah.
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00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,080
And she's in London now.
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00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,320
Not that that matters.
241
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:32,520
But you are here tonight,
this is the thing, you are here
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00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:35,680
tonight with a new movie,
Rare Beasts.
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00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:39,040
And this is a rare beast,
because not only do you star in it,
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00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,680
talk about sense of ownership,
this one, you wrote and directed?
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00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:42,720
Yeah, yeah.
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00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:43,760
About two years ago.
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00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:47,200
Apparently, it's coming out in May,
but I'm not entirely sure.
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00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,080
Let's pretend it is,
let's talk as if it is.
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00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:54,080
It will be released this year,
and that will be great, finally.
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00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,080
Because it's almost
like a phantom film,
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00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,160
I'm starting to think
it never happened!
252
00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,680
It's become like...
253
00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,840
Have you been working
on it all that time,
254
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,000
or did you finish it completely
that long ago?
255
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,880
I finished it two years ago,
and then, I started filming Suzie,
256
00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,520
but Suzie happened to come out
before, it's just the way
257
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,000
it's worked this time.
258
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,080
But you did such a great job
of this, and how do you describe it?
259
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,960
Because it's not a rom-com,
but it is funny, and it is
260
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:22,520
about dating, sort of.
261
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:26,560
Yeah, I think people sort of call it
this anti-rom-com, and I'm...
262
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,280
I think that's too easy, in a way.
263
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:34,520
For me, it's like a pitch black
comedy, borderline horror.
264
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:40,200
But people don't like it when I say
that, so I make it shiny!
265
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,800
That's why it may or may
not come out this year?
266
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:43,840
Yes!
267
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,120
The film I apparently wrote,
directed and starred in.
268
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:51,840
OK, this is you on your first date
with Pete, played by Leo Bill.
269
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,040
Leo Bill, yeah.
270
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:54,560
He's such a good actor.
271
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:57,520
OK, so this is the first date.
272
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:04,040
You'll marry me in a year.
273
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,400
Unlikely!
274
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:08,600
Come on, we get on.
275
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,240
I don't want this to be some sort
of three-year arrangement,
276
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,320
where you're haemorrhaging your
youth to no end.
277
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,960
Work will do that, modern woman.
278
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,920
Let's just say that if after a year
we're undecided about marriage,
279
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:20,880
then will just part company.
280
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:22,800
I could see that coming.
281
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,480
I mean, you ate like a pig.
282
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,680
Come on, please.
283
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,120
Just think about me all night.
284
00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:28,320
I pretty much adore you.
285
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:29,400
Taxi!
286
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,360
I'm going to go home and wank
over your Instagram pictures, OK?
287
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,000
I mean, it is so brutal,
but so well observed.
288
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,640
It is brutal, it's bonkers,
but I just feel like that's
289
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,640
what life feels like now.
290
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:45,040
I feel like everyone's
at the end of their rope,
291
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,760
and I think that's sort
of represented in the film.
292
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:48,960
Brilliant.
293
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,880
Well, Billie's new film
is called Rare Beasts
294
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,800
and it is due for general release
on the 5th of May.
295
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,480
Right, time to meet our
virtual guest tonight.
296
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,360
He is the star of Jurassic Park,
Peaky Blinders and
297
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:04,120
Hunt For The Wilderpeople,
it's Sam Neill, everybody!
298
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,520
Hello, yay!
299
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:13,800
Hello, Sam Neill!
300
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:15,200
Lovely to see you, Graham Norton.
301
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,120
Well, I like the look
of your kitchen!
302
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,080
It's entirely devoted to alcohol.
303
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:23,280
Yeah, you would be very
welcome here and very much
304
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,560
at home, I would think.
305
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,360
So, this is your vineyard, is it?
306
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,120
Yes, it is.
307
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,640
It's a lovely morning,
it's about nine o'clock,
308
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,320
and do you want to see outside?
309
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,680
Oh, yes!
310
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,480
So this is New Zealand.
311
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,600
Oh, wow!
312
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,600
Sunny day.
313
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:43,560
You should have had
strangers kissing or something,
314
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,840
just to really show off.
315
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:48,680
It's sunny and we don't have Covid!
316
00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,600
I feel slightly weird
talking about it you,
317
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:54,320
because I know that the UK
is in such dire straits,
318
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,960
but we have three cases
in the community and the whole
319
00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,280
country is very nervous!
320
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:04,840
So it seems odd by
comparison, doesn't it?
321
00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:08,880
But we are a little bit
on edge at the moment.
322
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,760
And this place, it presumably looks
familiar to you, Jimmy Nesbitt?
323
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:12,960
It looks very familiar.
324
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,240
Hi, Sam.
325
00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:16,360
Hi, Jimmy.
326
00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:22,280
I spent...
327
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,840
I met Sam when I was over doing
The Hobbit and I was lucky enough
328
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,760
to spend some time with Sam down
at the vineyard, it's beautiful.
329
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,600
But I spent the day with Sam
on the farm, we spent
330
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,640
the morning shovelling shit...
331
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,680
We are actors!
332
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:36,560
And then we all actually had
a bit of a wine tasting
333
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:37,760
competition in there,
I think.
334
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:39,000
Do you have any recollection?
335
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,840
I do!
336
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:42,400
Blissful.
337
00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:44,960
We wallowed in compost,
it's an Irish thing.
338
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,320
We have that in common.
339
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,600
And then smelling sweetly,
we then had a taste of, and he won!
340
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,720
And then smelling sweetly,
we then had a taste off, and he won!
341
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:55,800
It was really irritating.
342
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,280
And now, Sam, Tom Jones, you've met?
343
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,840
Yes.
344
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,120
Do you remember where?
345
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,160
I do, yes.
346
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,920
The Greek Theatre,
it was at a Sting concert.
347
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,080
Wow.
348
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,960
And Sam was backstage,
and I asked him what he was doing,
349
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,640
you know, what are you up to?
350
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:13,760
And he said, "Well, I'm
doing this movie about...
351
00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:14,960
There's these dinosaurs in it.
352
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,440
But you don't actually see them."
353
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,840
He said, "I'm acting,
I'm looking up and doing this,
354
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,000
but they're going to be put
in later on.
355
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,480
So I don't know what's
going to happen with it."
356
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,080
Jurassic Park.
357
00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,160
We know what happened to that, yeah!
358
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,200
I was delighted to meet Tom,
and I found myself in a circle
359
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:34,640
where there was the great Tom Jones,
Herbie Hancock, the immaculate
360
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:38,320
Herbie Hancock, Sting
and myself, and I was like,
361
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,280
this is a supergroup!
362
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:43,000
This has got to be a supergroup!
363
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,840
But I would be the sort
of joke drummer, you know,
364
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,840
that couldn't drum!
365
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,320
I've met a few of those!
366
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,880
Yeah.
367
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,280
Sam Neill, you've got
a movie to tell us about.
368
00:15:55,280 --> 00:15:57,440
This is Rams, it stars
yourself and the Australian
369
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,560
actor Michael Caton.
370
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:01,960
And this is very close
to your heart, this film.
371
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,320
Tell us about it,
it's a lovely film.
372
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,680
Yeah, it's been on release
in Australia and New Zealand,
373
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:10,080
and I'm getting such wonderful
feedback from it, people saying
374
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,440
they are feeling so much better
for having seen this film.
375
00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:22,400
It's gratifying to get that, er,
to get that feedback,
376
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,000
but it has its genesis
in a beautiful Icelandic film
377
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,200
which was actually rather grim.
378
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:27,640
Our film was very different.
379
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:30,280
It's about two brothers who haven't
spoken for about 40 years,
380
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,000
and who love sheep.
381
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:37,800
There is a small romance in it,
with Miranda Richardson,
382
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,880
who is an old friend of mine.
383
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,200
So it's mostly about
sheeping men, and community.
384
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:45,360
And it's rather touching
and lovely a little sad,
385
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:48,920
but also very sort of heart-warming.
386
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,400
It's a lovely film.
387
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:55,520
It is, because it is that thing
where the town of it shifts.
388
00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,640
It is, because it is that thing
where the tone of it shifts.
389
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,520
Like, sometimes it's really tragic
and then it can be very funny
390
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:02,560
and whimsical and quirky.
391
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:03,760
It's a really special thing.
392
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,880
Yeah, and for lovers of sheep,
there is no better thing, I think!
393
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,720
Rams, it's available on all
digital platforms from next Friday.
394
00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:13,920
And we've got a clip, Sam.
395
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:20,840
This is you settling
in with your new housemates.
396
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:25,320
Good morning, my lovelies.
397
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,080
There we go.
398
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,960
Go on, my lovely girls.
399
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:35,920
Lovely, lovely girls.
400
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,760
Lovely!
401
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:49,120
Get back!
402
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,400
Come here!
403
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,840
Get out of here, get out!
404
00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:52,880
Come on!
405
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,320
Round you go, bring her in.
406
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:57,280
Come on, come on!
407
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,520
Good dog.
408
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:02,200
Bring her in, bring her in.
409
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:04,800
Good dog.
410
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,280
Come on, stop mucking around!
411
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,240
Bring her in, come on!
412
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,440
Bring her in.
413
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,640
Come on, bring her round!
414
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,840
Bring her in, bring her in!
415
00:18:14,840 --> 00:18:17,800
Oh!
416
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:18,880
Good girl.
417
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,560
Go on!
418
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,800
Nothing out here for you, darling.
419
00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,240
Good girl.
420
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:31,280
As for you...
421
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,240
DOG WHINES
422
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:42,480
And how hard is that -
you can't train sheep, can you?
423
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:45,240
You can to an extent,
but a sheep is an animal
424
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:49,080
of limited capacity for...
425
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:55,280
You don't see sheep
in circuses, for instance.
426
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:57,680
And presumably you would
like to spending time with them,
427
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:01,680
because famously you have a lot
of livestock, don't you?
428
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:07,400
Yes, I have goats and sheep,
and cattle and a lot of chickens,
429
00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,800
you know, these terrible battery
farms, which I thoroughly disapprove
430
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:14,440
of, one was going past the other
day, and there were a lot
431
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,560
of, one was going bust the other
day, and there were a lot
432
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,760
of chickens looking for homes.
433
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,640
I already have about 24 chickens,
so now I'm up to 36,
434
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:22,840
I think, at last count.
435
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:23,880
It's at least 36.
436
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,040
So there is a gang
of them out there.
437
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:30,240
And they all think I'm wonderful,
so it's like having...
438
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,200
It's like having
Tom Jones fans, actually.
439
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:38,760
LAUGHTER
440
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,320
Billie Piper, you too have joined
the world of chicken donors?
441
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,120
Yeah, we have chickens,
we have two chickens.
442
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,160
Just the two?
443
00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,760
Just the two.
444
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:49,520
What are they called?
445
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,880
One has changed its
name a few times.
446
00:19:52,880 --> 00:20:00,520
Price Belmar and then it was Bob
and then The Notorious Chicken.
447
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:02,880
Cockerels - both cockerels,
wanted layers and got cockerels -
448
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:03,920
it's like pot luck.
449
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,120
His name is Heavy Metal.
450
00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:06,840
Wait a minute.
451
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:08,280
So these are the two cockerels.
452
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,960
This is one cockerel
in different poses.
453
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,000
OK.
454
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,440
And this is a competitive bird.
455
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:13,880
You can enter them for competitions.
456
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,920
They have amazing plumage.
457
00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:22,800
I don't think that's
a competition anyone wants to do.
458
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,520
But it looks fantastic.
459
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:26,560
It does.
460
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,320
But it's awful.
461
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,440
It's a horrible,
aggressive cockerel.
462
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,840
It's...
463
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:35,040
He's become a real problem.
464
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,160
And loud?
465
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,360
Very loud, and sort
of swoops down at you,
466
00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:42,480
chases you around the garden, puts
his wing out and sort of circles
467
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:48,880
you, and now it's doing
this, and apparently...
468
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:52,000
I said to this guy down the road,
like, "What am I going
469
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:55,080
to do about this?"
470
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,720
And he said, "You've just got to
show him who's boss."
471
00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:58,760
But he's so gorgeous.
472
00:20:58,760 --> 00:20:59,960
How could you possibly discipline...
473
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,880
I think he's very
frustrated because I think
474
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,680
he wanted this competition life,
and instead he got us in lockdown.
475
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,640
What he might like is a hen.
476
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,800
I mean, I'm not a vet, but...
477
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,640
That might cheer him up.
478
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,720
I can't take any more risks.
479
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,760
And, Sam Neill, you talked
about your animals on the show
480
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:27,480
before and I hesitate to ask,
am I still alive, Sam?
481
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,440
You're not only alive.
482
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,400
You're the number one bull now.
483
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:37,640
That's me!
484
00:21:37,640 --> 00:21:40,560
Look at him.
485
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,240
Now, it's less good
news, I believe,
486
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,560
for James Nesbitt.
487
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,240
Well, Jimmy Nesbitt,
Jimmy served us well,
488
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,280
but he got old and very arthritic.
489
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,800
Oh, no!
490
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,840
Is he no longer with us?
491
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,120
He's no longer with us.
492
00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,000
He had to be put down.
493
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,960
He was in quite a lot of pain.
494
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,640
And we gave him an
honourable burial
495
00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,400
down at the end of the farm.
496
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,880
A huge grave.
497
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,240
I mean, it was the size of a house.
498
00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:11,520
Well, take one for me.
499
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:12,560
Wait a minute.
500
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,000
You dug a hole for that?
501
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,040
Yeah.
502
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:20,400
Absolutely.
503
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,000
Is that a thing...
504
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,200
Don't wild...
505
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:26,400
Animal expert Andi has a question.
506
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,600
Does livestock explode
after it's expired?
507
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:33,840
Is that an urban myth
or a rural myth?
508
00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,400
It's a very urban myth.
509
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,520
I feel like I made it up.
510
00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:41,160
Jimmy Nesbitt in his prime was
something to behold, though, Sam.
511
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,200
Is that not right?
512
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:43,960
Yeah, he was a fantastic bull.
513
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:49,520
With a distinguished name
like Jimmy, I couldn't really
514
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:53,640
turn him into sausages,
so he has a grave and a little
515
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:58,840
marker on him, so RIP,
dear old Jimmy.
516
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,440
Have you got a Tom Jones yet?
517
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:04,160
Surely Tom Jones
is ripe for the farm.
518
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:05,600
And I'm Welsh!
519
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:09,680
I mean, God.
520
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,960
I got a couple of new
Rams who are unnamed,
521
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,120
as a matter-of-fact.
522
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:17,160
Well, hello!
523
00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,360
Very quickly, Sam.
524
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,760
Andi, I know you're a big
fan of Jurassic Park.
525
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:21,800
Definitely.
526
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:22,840
Oh, me too!
527
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:23,880
Everyone loves...
528
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:24,960
Hey, hey!
529
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,680
Because the new one, is it finished?
530
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:33,080
Do we know when that is going
to see the light of day?
531
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:37,920
Yeah, it was supposed
to be May of this year,
532
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,800
but it's been put back for a year,
so it's May of 22, yeah,
533
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:49,520
and, gosh, time has gone so weird
these last few months, hasn't it?
534
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:53,120
Yeah, May of 22, and we shot it
all at Pinewood, so I spent most
535
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,280
of last year in England,
and it's going to
536
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,320
be huge!
537
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,720
So hopefully there's still some
cinemas open and people might
538
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,920
want to go back to the movies.
539
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,840
Well, hopefully you
can come and tell us
540
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:06,040
about it in May, 2022.
541
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,080
That would be great.
542
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,640
Would be good to see you again.
543
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:12,520
Thank you for getting up so early
in lovely New Zealand and
544
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:13,560
talking to us.
545
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,760
Rams is available on all digital
platforms next Friday.
546
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:17,040
Sam Neill, everybody!
547
00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:18,280
Bye, Sam!
548
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:19,360
Bye-bye, Sam!
549
00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:22,040
CHEERING
550
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:25,680
Oh, lovely.
551
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,800
I love the bit where he said it's
about men and sheep and
552
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,200
there's some romance, and I'm
sitting here going, "Don't say
553
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:39,160
anything, don't say anything."
554
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,800
And he's giggling, going,
"Sounds like Wales!"
555
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,640
No, Miranda
Richardson is the romance.
556
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,640
Oh, I see, OK, OK.
557
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:54,200
Sam's the greatest, though.
558
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,240
Isn't he lovely?
559
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,680
OK, let's turn to Jimmy Nesbitt.
560
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,840
He brings us a gripping new crime
thriller, Bloodlands,
561
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,280
coming next month to BBC One,
562
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,480
and this has amazing pedigree.
563
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,400
It's from the people
who made Line Of
564
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:04,440
Duty and The Bodyguard.
565
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:05,480
So it's Jed Mercurio.
566
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,400
Who you have known for a long time.
567
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:08,440
I knew him...
568
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,840
I did a show years ago,
Jekyll, which was written
569
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:12,760
by Steven Moffat and Jed's
partner produced it,
570
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,120
and I've known Jed for a long time
and Jed also had a lot
571
00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:19,240
of presence in Northern Ireland for
a long time because he makes Line
572
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:20,280
Of Duty there.
573
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,520
I was never in it -
series six, series seven.
574
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:26,320
And so I saw him
a bit over the years
575
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:28,960
and I said I'd love to work
together and we love
576
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,160
each other and Jed
was
577
00:25:30,160 --> 00:25:31,360
sent scripts by new writers.
578
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:36,000
He read one of them
called Bloodlands and he
579
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,600
sort of thought of me and so it
finally came to pass, and when Jed
580
00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:42,400
sort of gives you a call it's
like God calling, really.
581
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:44,080
And says, will you work for me?
582
00:25:44,080 --> 00:25:45,120
Yes.
583
00:25:45,120 --> 00:25:47,160
I'll die for you.
584
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:50,040
And so it's a thriller set
in Northern Ireland.
585
00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:55,840
I play a policeman called
Tom Brannick, coming to the
586
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:55,920
end of his time.
587
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:55,960
And it's about me on the
hunt for a legendary
588
00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:56,960
assassin.
589
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,080
And it's really twisty-turny
and you don't know who's
590
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:00,120
good, who's bad.
591
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,960
It's really good.
592
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,080
And as beautiful as Northern Ireland
is to look at, it provided certain
593
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:07,480
kind of acting challenges for you.
594
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:15,440
Yeah.
595
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:18,800
Yeah, it's fucking cold.
596
00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,200
We were filming from January
to March, and it was...
597
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,400
I mean, it was freezing.
598
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:24,080
You were in the water
and everything.
599
00:26:24,080 --> 00:26:26,720
Well, Strangford Lough,
when the wind comes up the lough, I
600
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:27,920
mean, it's bitter, you know?
601
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,840
And if you're playing
kind of a hard-nosed
602
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:33,520
sort of detective who's on the case
which is of huge personal
603
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,920
significance to him,
you're going out on kind of boats
604
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,560
along the lough at six and seven
in the morning and
605
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,600
it was...
606
00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:40,640
Often, my...
607
00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:41,680
Often, we couldn't speak.
608
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:42,720
The jaws were frozen.
609
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:43,760
You ever had that?
610
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:46,160
I've had my jaw sort
of lock whilst I've been
611
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,200
filming in the cold.
612
00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,280
I mean, that shot there...
613
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,680
I look grim and
determined and kind of
614
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,840
stony faced there.
615
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,000
That's me getting off
a boat after seven hours
616
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:57,440
going, "Get me into my Mercedes.
617
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:02,160
Get me into my hotel room."
618
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,760
I want a giant hairdryer on me now!
619
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,680
But it's just an important
and exciting time
620
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:07,720
for Northern Ireland.
621
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,880
It's important that we continue
to make these shows
622
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,760
there and we continue to try
and turn this kind of peace
623
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:14,680
into a social and economic
and cultural prosperity
624
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,720
for the young people.
625
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:17,400
And obviously there's big
action sequences and
626
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,440
this one...
627
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,600
Now, what was the involvement
in this with your
628
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,880
family?
629
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,040
That was after a particularly
bad catering set at
630
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:26,760
lunch.
631
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,800
You were cold!
632
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:34,040
"I'm going to set fire to the car!"
633
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:39,600
"It's my sushi!"
634
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,000
No, that was filmed
in kind of a market town
635
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:44,480
in Northern Ireland called
Ballyclare and
636
00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:48,120
my aunt Edith, a formidable, small,
brilliant, religious woman,
637
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:50,440
she knew I was filming
in Ballyclare, but she
638
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,600
was coming back from
the shop and we were
639
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:53,800
doing this stunt, there
were
640
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,480
police cars going,
a petrol bomb thrown,
641
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:56,680
I'm putting a policeman
on
642
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,320
fire out, but she went up
to one of the policemen
643
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,480
there kind of standing back,
and she said, "What's
644
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,080
happening?"
645
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:05,480
And this guy, this policeman,
said to her, "Oh, it's
646
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:06,520
James Nesbitt."
647
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,680
And she went, "My James
is filming here today.
648
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:14,360
What's happened to him?"
649
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:17,880
And she realised they were in
the middle of a stunt.
650
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:19,320
All right, we've got a clip.
651
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,480
This is you getting your
colleague up to speed
652
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:22,520
on the case.
653
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,600
OK.
654
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,280
These are the original
disappearances, the ones
655
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,320
who preceded Keenan.
656
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:31,440
David Cory, Joe Harkin,
and Father Simon Quinlan.
657
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,600
A priest?
658
00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:37,880
And an IRA arms dealer.
659
00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,080
Joe Harkin was an IRA
quartermaster and
660
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,120
Cory was from the other side.
661
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:45,040
He was a Protestant
paramilitary Godfather.
662
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,960
That's what made it
all the more puzzling.
663
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:51,120
It wasn't one side or the other.
664
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,520
His targets were people
who were threat to the peace
665
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:54,560
process on both sides.
666
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,680
He kept it evenhanded.
667
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:01,560
You said there were four targets.
668
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:09,520
He also murdered my wife.
669
00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:17,200
CHEERING
670
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,760
So that was Bloodlands.
671
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:21,920
I always think those
bits of acting must be
672
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,760
so hard, the bit where, I'm not
talking but there's still filming
673
00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:29,840
and here we go.
674
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:37,800
But I mean, it's such a good
bunch of people to work
675
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,160
with, and Chris, who
wrote it, was overseen
676
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,600
by Jed and Jed Mercurio
is
677
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:47,040
God, to tell you the truth.
678
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,720
Well, listen, Bloodland is coming to
BBC
679
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,600
One next month, and talking
of Jed Mercurio and Line Of Duty,
680
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,240
and Andi Osho, you are in
the new Line Of Duty.
681
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,280
That's right, yeah.
682
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:56,480
Tell us all about it.
683
00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,640
I'll put a word in
for you, don't worry.
684
00:29:58,640 --> 00:29:59,680
Wow.
685
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:01,600
This was your first time
in Northern Ireland?
686
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,960
I mean, I've lived there
all my life, but I never got in it.
687
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,360
I was just there on a
holiday and Jed was
688
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,000
there, and he was like,
"Do you want to be in..."
689
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,040
It so weird.
690
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:12,080
Kind of rude, OK.
691
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,280
Have you finished it now?
692
00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:14,320
I've finished.
693
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:15,360
I've done my bit.
694
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,400
OK.
695
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:19,280
It must be so weird walking around
with that in your head.
696
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:20,320
I...
697
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:22,720
Yeah, I'm a real fan
of the show as well,
698
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:24,640
so it's very hard to keep my cool.
699
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:26,080
You're like, "It's
Steve, it's Steve!"
700
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:29,880
Oh, hello.
701
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:31,120
Oh, hi, hi.
702
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,160
Now, you are...
703
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,800
Obviously, we know you as
a stand-up and an actor, but
704
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,680
you're here tonight to talk
about your debut novel, Asking For A
705
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,720
Friend.
706
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:39,920
Do you have a copy?
707
00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:40,960
I have a copy.
708
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,000
Bizarre.
709
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,200
Have you not seen it?
710
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,400
You must have seen it.
711
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:45,440
I love it.
712
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,840
I was so taken aback
by the fact that it
713
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:48,880
was embossed, like,
the
714
00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:49,920
title is embossed.
715
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:50,960
Yeah, it's posh.
716
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,000
I know, right?
717
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,280
Yeah.
718
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,680
And it's a comedy,
but it's also about
719
00:30:55,680 --> 00:31:01,000
friendship, but the premise is this
idea of friends playing a dating
720
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,640
game, so explain the dating game
and the rules of it,
721
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,560
because you came up
with this game, right?
722
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:07,200
Yeah, yeah.
723
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,120
So, basically, the three
girlfriends that the book
724
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:10,320
is about, they are kind
725
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,200
of stuck in terms of relationships
for different reasons, and so they
726
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:16,320
decide that they're going to take
their dating lives on and just go
727
00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,440
out and just ask guys out in real
life, but for each other.
728
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,840
And they set up a load
of rules, like you're
729
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,720
not allowed to veto, you're not
allowed to do anything illegal -
730
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:25,760
things like that.
731
00:31:25,760 --> 00:31:28,160
So, yeah, the story
is about what happens to them
732
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:30,560
as they go out on the prowl
looking for dates.
733
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:32,920
Because you've done
some extreme dating.
734
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,840
I love the idea of
your Edinburgh show.
735
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,000
So explain the thing
that went on in your
736
00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:38,040
Edinburgh show.
737
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:39,720
Yeah, so I wrote
an Edinburgh show...
738
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,200
I think it was, like,
2011 and it was basically
739
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:45,320
about dating, but at the end
of every show, I would ask someone
740
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:49,160
out in the audience,
or I would
741
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,800
basically get their mates
to sort of volunteer them,
742
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,720
because no one ever volunteered
themselves, because it
743
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,880
was always like, "You go,"
and pushing someone forward.
744
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:56,920
Everyone else stepped back.
745
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,080
So, yeah, I ended up
in some quite interesting
746
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,120
situations.
747
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:02,280
Because you actually went
on a date with them?
748
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:03,960
Yeah, I went on the
dates afterwards.
749
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,440
I 100% did it.
750
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:06,880
Like, to what point?
751
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,480
Well, with people
watching out for me,
752
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,000
chaperones sitting
a few tables away.
753
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,360
I also had like a fake gin and tonic
that I would, "Yes, alcohol,
754
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:15,400
yummy."
755
00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,840
It isn't, it's just tonic water.
756
00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:18,600
Yeah, there were a couple of guys...
757
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,160
There was one guy who was
758
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:26,560
lovely, but he had grown up
children, so it was just like, "I'm
759
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:34,400
going to be your new mummy!"
760
00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:37,040
The very first guy I went
on this date with, he
761
00:32:37,040 --> 00:32:40,160
just looked absolutely terrified,
and I took a selfie of us, and he's
762
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:44,640
just like that in
the selfie, like...
763
00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:46,800
He was this French guy,
and I'm feeling like
764
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:48,240
I don't know if he knows
765
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:49,280
what's going on here.
766
00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:52,160
Like, I don't know if he knows
he's on a date with
767
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:53,200
me.
768
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:54,640
And were there any second dates?
769
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:55,840
I'm going to shock you.
770
00:32:55,840 --> 00:32:56,880
No.
771
00:32:56,880 --> 00:32:58,080
There were no second dates.
772
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:59,280
After a month of Edinburgh?
773
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,320
I know!
774
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:01,360
Can you believe that?
775
00:33:01,360 --> 00:33:02,400
A lot of sex.
776
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:03,440
No second dates.
777
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:04,480
But with the dates?
778
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:05,520
Some.
779
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:06,560
Sometimes it ended in...
780
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:07,600
No, it didn't happen.
781
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:08,640
Mum, that didn't happen.
782
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,080
Swings and roundabouts kind of...
783
00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:15,200
There were some swings.
784
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:16,600
And are you back here full-time?
785
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,520
Because you moved to
America, am I right?
786
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:20,920
Yeah, I was sort of backwards
and forwards, like spending
787
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,040
time there and here,
but I thankfully moved
788
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:27,600
back sort of couple of years ago,
about 18 months ago, and I feel like
789
00:33:27,600 --> 00:33:28,640
it was...
790
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:29,680
The right choice.
791
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:30,720
Exquisite timing.
792
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:35,040
Look at the state of them.
793
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,080
The country's burning.
794
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:37,120
Yeah.
795
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,320
Yeah, glad I moved back.
796
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,960
Because, Tom Jones, how long
did you live in LA for?
797
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,000
41 years.
798
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:43,040
Wow.
799
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,240
So clearly you liked it.
800
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:45,280
I did like it.
801
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:46,320
I did.
802
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:47,360
It was...
803
00:33:47,360 --> 00:33:49,520
Well, it was the sunshine
and everything, you know.
804
00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:52,600
And because I'm a live performer,
I'm on the road a lot,
805
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,400
or used to be when I was younger
anyway, and so to
806
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,080
me it was like a holiday place.
807
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:59,480
You know, I would go
back to LA, and my
808
00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:03,560
wife was there and the house and I'd
be up at the pool most of the time.
809
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,480
And I didn't really
have to do anything.
810
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,840
Once in awhile, I would do a TV
show, you know, or I would
811
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,760
record something, and it's
all there, of course.
812
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:11,960
Whatever you want to do.
813
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:13,520
But it was so easy.
814
00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:15,680
It's handy for Vegas
and all that sort of
815
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,720
stuff, isn't it?
816
00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:21,080
Well, yeah, exactly, so,
I mean, I was working a
817
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:24,440
lot in Las Vegas, so I could fly
there or just drive up there.
818
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:25,480
And tell me this.
819
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,520
When you went...
820
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,920
The first time you
went, was it to do a
821
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:29,960
TV show in 1967?
822
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,000
65.
823
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:32,920
65, and is that when you met Elvis?
824
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:35,120
That's when I met Elvis Presley.
825
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:36,320
Don't try and compete.
826
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,880
LAUGHTER
827
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:42,080
Difficult.
828
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:46,720
So I got there and it was wonderful.
829
00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:52,640
We were staying in a famous hotel.
830
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,320
On the Sunset Strip at the time.
831
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:56,000
I was like, "God,
this was unbelievable!
832
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,440
My first year in show business!"
833
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:58,600
And then
834
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,200
I had to go to Paramount Studios for
a song or something and they said
835
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:05,560
Elvis Presley is going to be there
tomorrow and he would like to meet
836
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,600
you.
837
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,520
I thought, "Elvis Presley
wants to meet me?"
838
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:09,560
It was unbelievable!
839
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:13,320
And I went there to
go and see about the
840
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:16,640
song and they said,
"Elvis is filming and once
841
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,840
they stop the filming,
you
842
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:19,720
go in."
843
00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:25,680
So I did and they closed the doors
again and I'm standing at the
844
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,960
back there with the Memphis Mafia,
these guys that work for him, and
845
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,240
he's in this little mock
helicopter with this girl.
846
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:34,880
And they did a scene and I'm
like looking, "My God,
847
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,680
there's Elvis Presley."
848
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,840
And they said, "OK, cut,"
and he looked across
849
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,840
and went, you know.
850
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:49,000
And I was like, you know,
looking at these fellas,
851
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,840
and they said, "Elvis
is waving at you, wave back!"
852
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,680
"Me?"
853
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,080
So he gets out of that
helicopter and he starts
854
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:57,120
walking towards me.
855
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,280
Well, I had a single
record at the moment.
856
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:00,480
It was my third single.
857
00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,520
With These Hands.
858
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:03,680
It was a ballot, it
was a beautiful song.
859
00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:07,320
And Elvis is walking
towards me going...
860
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:11,920
# With these hands I will cling
to you...#
861
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:13,000
Right? And I thought,
862
00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:15,400
"My God if the boys back home
could see me
863
00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:16,400
now!"
864
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:17,440
It was unbelievable.
865
00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:24,280
CHEERING
866
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:25,680
That's an amazing
Elvis Presley story.
867
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:27,360
Well, listen, Tom, the time has come
868
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:29,520
for you to perform,
so if you would like
869
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,200
to make your way over
to the
870
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:32,240
stage over there.
871
00:36:32,240 --> 00:36:33,280
There he goes.
872
00:36:33,280 --> 00:36:35,360
Lovely.
873
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:40,120
Now, shortly we will be having some
stories from the red
874
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:42,520
chair, and I need somebody
to volunteer for the chair.
875
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:43,720
Do we have a volunteer?
876
00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:44,760
No.
877
00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:45,800
Are you volunteering?
878
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:46,840
I think so.
879
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:48,280
Do you want to do it?
880
00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:49,320
Gladly.
881
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,360
Excellent.
882
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:51,920
Well done.
883
00:36:51,920 --> 00:36:56,720
OK, here performing his current
single No Hole In My Head
884
00:36:56,720 --> 00:37:04,680
from the new album Surrounded
By Time, it's Tom Jones!
885
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:19,200
# Everybody thinks my
head is full of nothing
886
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:22,320
# They want to put their
own special stuff in
887
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,400
# Fill up the space
with candy wrappers
888
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:28,640
# Keep out sex and revolution
889
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:31,240
# But there's no hole in my head
890
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:39,200
# Too bad
891
00:37:46,080 --> 00:37:47,520
# They called me a dupe
892
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:48,960
# For this and the other
893
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,880
# Called me a puppet on a string
# They don't know my head's full of
894
00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:53,040
me
895
00:37:53,040 --> 00:37:55,200
# And that I have
my own special thing
896
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:57,120
# And there's no hole
in my head
897
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:01,280
# Too bad
898
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,520
# I have lived since early childhood
899
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,440
# Figuring out what's going on
900
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,680
# I know what hurts
901
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:12,280
# I know what's easy
902
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,440
# And when to stand and when to run
903
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,840
# But there's no hole in my head
904
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:24,600
# Too bad
905
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:30,600
# So please
stop shouting in my ear
906
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:34,080
# There's something
I want to listen to
907
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,480
# There's a kind of birdsong out
there somewhere
908
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:38,400
# People walking when I want to run
909
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:40,320
# And there's no hole
in my head
910
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:46,200
# Too bad
911
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:51,120
# Everybody thinks my
head's full of nothing
912
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,360
# Trying to put their
own special stuff in
913
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:58,600
# Fill up the space
with candy wrappers
914
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:00,240
# Keep out sex and revolution
915
00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,560
# But there's no hole in my head
916
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:06,880
# Too bad
917
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:10,120
# No there's no hole in my head
918
00:39:10,120 --> 00:39:15,400
# Too bad
919
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,680
# There's no hole in my head
920
00:39:17,680 --> 00:39:24,560
# Too bad
# I can say whatever I want to say
921
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,040
now
922
00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,080
# Do whatever I want to do
923
00:39:31,080 --> 00:39:36,800
# Well, within reason.#
924
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,360
Tom Jones, everybody!
925
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:41,400
CHEERING
926
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,720
Fabulous song.
927
00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:47,120
Come on back, please.
928
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:53,160
Oh, Tom Jones!
929
00:39:53,160 --> 00:39:54,200
How amazing was that?
930
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:55,880
I mean, the voice is full on.
931
00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:56,920
Well done.
932
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:57,960
Thank you.
933
00:39:57,960 --> 00:39:59,000
It still works.
934
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,280
It really does still work.
935
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:03,320
Thank God.
936
00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:09,120
It's fantastic.
937
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,040
That's from the new album,
Surrounded By Time,
938
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,200
and that is out
on the 23rd of April.
939
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,560
At that single is out now,
and I will say to you, I wasn't
940
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,960
aware of that song,
but it is an old song.
941
00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:22,080
It was by Malvina Reynolds
and she was around in New York in
942
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:30,040
the early 60s.
943
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:40,560
Like, Bob Dylan and a lot of those
people, Pete Seeger.
944
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:41,640
They all loved her.
945
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,480
And her Ain't No Hole
In My Head was her kind of
946
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,120
people, they misjudged her
because they thought she was just a
947
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:48,160
middle-aged woman.
948
00:40:48,160 --> 00:40:50,320
Yeah, she was trying
to sing for people in
949
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,360
general, really.
950
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,600
To do your own thing.
951
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,480
And not to try to be moulded
into something that you're not.
952
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,800
You know, within the music business,
they try to tell you that you've got
953
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,520
to look like this, look like that.
954
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,600
You know, I had curly hair
when I first came up to London,
955
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,640
and doesn't work.
956
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:05,680
Well, why?
957
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,600
They try to make it
into something else.
958
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,240
So thank God, you know,
as time has gone on, of
959
00:41:10,240 --> 00:41:12,160
course, but you've
got to prove a point.
960
00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:13,200
Yeah.
961
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:15,400
Well, listen, thank you very
much for that beautiful
962
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:16,400
performance.
963
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:17,440
Tom Jones, everybody.
964
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,480
Really amazing.
965
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:19,560
Right, that's nearly it.
966
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,640
Before we go, there's just time
for a visit to the big red
967
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:23,680
chair.
968
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:24,720
Is Mr Nesbitt there?
969
00:41:24,720 --> 00:41:25,760
Oh, look at him.
970
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:26,800
He's ready.
971
00:41:26,800 --> 00:41:27,840
OK.
972
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:28,880
Jimmy is ready.
973
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:32,000
Let's find out who's telling a story
to keep you in that chair.
974
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,040
Hello, sir.
975
00:41:33,040 --> 00:41:34,080
Good evening.
976
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:35,160
What's your name?
977
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:36,160
My name is Brian.
978
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:37,600
Brian, and where are you from?
979
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,760
I'm from the North Norfolk
coast, a small village
980
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,800
called Mundesley.
981
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:41,840
Mundesley, OK.
982
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,240
And you are telling
a story to keep Mr Jimmy
983
00:41:44,240 --> 00:41:45,280
Nesbitt in that chair.
984
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:46,320
OK?
985
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:47,360
Absolutely.
986
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:48,560
All right, good luck, everyone.
987
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,000
Off you go with your story.
988
00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:53,240
Here we go.
989
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:55,640
I'm in London, I'm in
East London, it's dark, it's
990
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,800
drizzly, I'm lost, seriously lost,
bursting for a pee.
991
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,200
I look at the floor,
there's a water bottle there,
992
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:01,400
but I can't reach it.
993
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,320
Stuck in this traffic
queue for an hour.
994
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:04,520
I'm fed up, I'm miserable.
995
00:42:04,520 --> 00:42:07,640
I look at the screen
and see a man in a high viz
996
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:08,680
jacket.
997
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,800
I decide to get out the car
and ask him what's going on.
998
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,200
I get out the car,
he walks towards me and
999
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,840
says, "Whoa, whoa, you cannot get
out your car here, buddy."
1000
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:20,960
I said, "Well, why not?"
1001
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:28,280
He said, "Well, because you're
on the Woolwich Ferry."
1002
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,280
Jimmy, I must apologise.
1003
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:34,320
No.
1004
00:42:34,320 --> 00:42:35,360
But you understand.
1005
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:39,760
I'm completely understand.
1006
00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,440
I'm surprised it took so long,
to tell you the truth.
1007
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,280
Well, I kept thinking, the story
will make sense in a minute.
1008
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:46,320
It started well.
1009
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:47,360
Where was he?
1010
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:48,600
He was in East London...
1011
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:50,960
It was somehow he had
driven on a ferry without
1012
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:52,000
knowing.
1013
00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:53,920
He must have been out of his mind.
1014
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,120
I thought there was
a bottle in his car.
1015
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,520
That's what I thought,
the bottle was in the car.
1016
00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:00,160
Anyway, I think we
are over analysing.
1017
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:01,200
Let's try another one.
1018
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,240
Oh, no.
1019
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:03,920
This has got to be a story.
1020
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:04,960
This is the story.
1021
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:06,000
This is the one.
1022
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,040
This is the one.
1023
00:43:07,040 --> 00:43:08,080
Hello.
1024
00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:09,120
What's your name?
1025
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,160
My name is Bernie.
1026
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:11,840
Bernie, and where
are you from, Bernie?
1027
00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:12,880
Belfast in Northern Ireland.
1028
00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:14,320
We knew it, we knew it.
1029
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:15,760
Beautiful interior decoration,
beautiful, lovely frame.
1030
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,000
What do you do in Belfast?
1031
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,160
I'm a social worker,
but I'm off on sick
1032
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,200
leave.
1033
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,600
I'm getting treated for cancer,
so more recently I'm writing
1034
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:29,960
poetry.
1035
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,000
Good on you, Bernie.
1036
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:32,040
Very good.
1037
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:33,240
We enjoy all your endeavours.
1038
00:43:33,240 --> 00:43:34,920
OK, off you go with your story.
1039
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,080
OK, so this happened
a number of years ago
1040
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:38,280
when my first child
was
1041
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:39,320
born.
1042
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,200
My husband and I, like a lot
of new parents, were completely
1043
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:45,320
sleep deprived, but we had invited
a couple of friends round that we
1044
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:48,200
hadn't seen for many years
and they'd come a long distance to
1045
00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:49,240
meet us.
1046
00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:51,160
Really having a wonderful,
wonderful evening, really enjoying
1047
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:54,520
ourselves, but as the evening wore
on, like a lot of new parents my
1048
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,680
husband and I were getting
more and more tired,
1049
00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:58,840
and they just weren't getting
the cues, the yawns,
1050
00:43:58,840 --> 00:43:59,880
nothing was working.
1051
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:02,760
So I look at my husband at one
stage of the evening
1052
00:44:02,760 --> 00:44:04,680
and I asked him to check the child.
1053
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:08,760
So he went up to the child's bedroom
and I had my excuse, I said I was
1054
00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:11,160
just nipping to the loo
and would be back shortly.
1055
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,520
So up I went and the two of us,
we started plotting in the
1056
00:44:14,520 --> 00:44:17,400
bedroom as to how we could get them
to leave, tactfully, diplomatically,
1057
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:20,040
without hurting anyone's feelings,
so anyway once we were finished we
1058
00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:22,680
were all ready for the big plan,
but they had started
1059
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,800
to put their coats on.
1060
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,000
And they were acting very oddly.
1061
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,200
And they seemed very offended.
1062
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,640
So we thought nothing more about it.
1063
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,320
We were so delighted that we were
1064
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,720
going to get off to
bed, so off we went
1065
00:44:35,720 --> 00:44:36,920
and started cleaning up
the
1066
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:37,960
dishes.
1067
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,600
And then I heard the baby crying
through the baby monitor.
1068
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:42,880
They had heard the whole thing.
1069
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:43,920
Very good.
1070
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:44,960
You can walk.
1071
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:46,000
Walk, Bernie.
1072
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,440
Love you guys.
1073
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,480
Oh, Bernie.
1074
00:44:48,480 --> 00:44:51,920
Lovely Bernie.
1075
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:54,080
OK, that really is
all we have time for.
1076
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:57,200
If you would like to
tell us your story,
1077
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:58,920
you can contact us via the
website.
1078
00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,000
Please say a huge thank you to all
of my guests, Jimmy Nesbitt.
1079
00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,040
Andi Osho.
1080
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,640
Billie Piper.
1081
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:09,720
Sam Neill.
1082
00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:14,640
And Sir Tom Jones.
1083
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,040
Do join me next week
with singer Jessie Ware, Sister
1084
00:45:17,040 --> 00:45:21,760
Michael from Derry girls,
Siobhan McSweeney, top comic
1085
00:45:21,760 --> 00:45:23,920
Alan Carr, Back To Life star
Daisy Haggard, Bridgerton
1086
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:25,840
star Rege-Jean Page
and rock legend Dave Grohl.
1087
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,760
I'll see you then.
1088
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:36,720
Goodnight, everybody, bye-bye!