1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:05,209 It's New Year's Eve! We're all very excited here in the studio. 2 00:00:05,209 --> 00:00:07,289 I tell you, this audience is about to go off! 3 00:00:07,289 --> 00:00:12,289 Let's start the countdown! ALL: Three, two, one... 4 00:00:12,289 --> 00:00:13,729 UNDERWHELMING PARTY HORN TOOT 5 00:00:13,729 --> 00:00:16,249 LAUGHTER Let's start the show! 6 00:00:20,809 --> 00:00:29,169 This programme contains some strong language. 7 00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:35,449 Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho! CHEERING 8 00:00:35,449 --> 00:00:39,769 Hello! Oh! Thanks! Yes! 9 00:00:39,769 --> 00:00:42,169 Good evening, everyone, it's New Year's Eve! 10 00:00:42,169 --> 00:00:44,449 CHEERING 11 00:00:44,449 --> 00:00:47,249 Oh! Is anyone here a bit tipsy already? 12 00:00:47,249 --> 00:00:48,649 CHEERING 13 00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:49,809 Yay! 14 00:00:49,809 --> 00:00:53,609 Preloading and free tickets, you are nailing this cost-of-living crisis. 15 00:00:53,609 --> 00:00:56,409 Now, we've got a packed sofa tonight. 16 00:00:56,409 --> 00:00:59,169 I tell you, there are more guests on my show than we've had 17 00:00:59,169 --> 00:01:01,649 Prime Ministers this year. Mm! 18 00:01:01,649 --> 00:01:03,329 That's a lot! 19 00:01:03,329 --> 00:01:07,089 No, this year Prime Ministers have been like buses, haven't they? 20 00:01:07,089 --> 00:01:08,849 Yeah. 21 00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:10,289 Total disasters. 22 00:01:11,929 --> 00:01:14,049 First, Liz Truss replaced Boris... 23 00:01:14,049 --> 00:01:15,649 HE WINCES 24 00:01:15,649 --> 00:01:18,849 Now, how to describe how the nation felt when Liz replaced Boris. 25 00:01:18,849 --> 00:01:21,569 Well, I think it's a bit like when Covid died down 26 00:01:21,569 --> 00:01:24,409 and was replaced by monkeypox, wasn't it? 27 00:01:24,409 --> 00:01:25,769 Poor old Liz Truss. 28 00:01:25,769 --> 00:01:28,889 Soon it was HER turn to get beaten by her political rival. 29 00:01:28,889 --> 00:01:29,929 Mm. 30 00:01:32,169 --> 00:01:34,609 That Liz Truss lettuce thing started a trend. 31 00:01:34,609 --> 00:01:38,009 Can political leaders outlast certain foods? 32 00:01:38,009 --> 00:01:39,089 Yeah. 33 00:01:39,089 --> 00:01:42,689 My money's on the ice cream. Let's get some guests on! 34 00:01:44,369 --> 00:01:46,929 Later, we'll have a very special musical performance 35 00:01:46,929 --> 00:01:50,009 from the stars of Cabaret, that's Callum Scott Howells 36 00:01:50,009 --> 00:01:51,649 and Madeline Brewer! Yeah! 37 00:01:51,649 --> 00:01:53,449 CHEERING 38 00:01:53,449 --> 00:01:55,729 And one of the stars of 2022, 39 00:01:55,729 --> 00:02:00,529 footballer and Lioness captain Leah Williamson will be here! 40 00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,089 CHEERING 41 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,049 But first, he's a Bafta-winning actor, 42 00:02:04,049 --> 00:02:05,809 writer and stand-up comedian, 43 00:02:05,809 --> 00:02:07,289 it's Romesh Ranganathan! 44 00:02:07,289 --> 00:02:09,089 CHEERING 45 00:02:10,329 --> 00:02:12,169 Why, there he is! 46 00:02:12,169 --> 00:02:15,809 Hello! Lovely to see you. Yeah! 47 00:02:18,089 --> 00:02:21,729 And the star of House, Veep and Blackadder - he is an author, 48 00:02:21,729 --> 00:02:25,089 musician, director and one of Britain's true comedy greats, 49 00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:27,489 please welcome Mr Hugh Laurie! 50 00:02:27,489 --> 00:02:29,689 CHEERING 51 00:02:32,249 --> 00:02:33,649 Thank you. 52 00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:39,569 It's you! Sir. Hello! Sir. Have a seat, Hugh. 53 00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:43,129 He's the Bafta-winning breakout star of Top Boy 54 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:46,329 and Small Axe, now starring in Sam Mendes' romantic drama 55 00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:49,409 Empire Of Light, it's Micheal Ward, everybody! 56 00:02:49,409 --> 00:02:51,729 CHEERING 57 00:02:51,729 --> 00:02:53,649 Oh! Looking sharp! 58 00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:56,449 It's New Year's Eve! Hello, sir. 59 00:02:59,129 --> 00:03:01,889 Starring with Micheal in Empire Of Light, 60 00:03:01,889 --> 00:03:04,529 she's the Oscar-winning star of The Favourite, The Crown, 61 00:03:04,529 --> 00:03:06,609 Broadchurch, Peep Show and so much more, 62 00:03:06,609 --> 00:03:09,329 it's the fabulous Olivia Colman! 63 00:03:09,329 --> 00:03:11,649 CHEERING 64 00:03:11,649 --> 00:03:13,609 Whoo! 65 00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,929 Hello, darling. Mwah, mwah! 66 00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:20,249 Hey! Here you go! Whoo! 67 00:03:22,249 --> 00:03:24,129 Welcome, welcome, welcome, all. 68 00:03:24,129 --> 00:03:26,729 New Year's Eve, who'd have thunk it? 69 00:03:26,729 --> 00:03:31,729 So you've all had a nice Christmas? Fantastic Christmas! 70 00:03:31,729 --> 00:03:34,209 Yes, it seemed to go by so fast. Didn't it, though?! 71 00:03:34,209 --> 00:03:35,609 Yeah, yeah. 72 00:03:35,609 --> 00:03:37,809 Olivia, what was your best present? 73 00:03:37,809 --> 00:03:40,089 LAUGHING NERVOUSLY: Er... 74 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:42,089 Uh... 75 00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,289 A Ferrari! Ooh! 76 00:03:45,689 --> 00:03:49,249 The neighbours will all be talking! "Did you hear what she got?! 77 00:03:49,249 --> 00:03:52,329 "She got a Ferrari." No, full disclosure, we're recording this... 78 00:03:52,329 --> 00:03:55,209 It's not New Year's Eve, so on New Year's Eve, these people 79 00:03:55,209 --> 00:03:57,089 won't be here, they'll be somewhere else. 80 00:03:57,089 --> 00:03:59,249 Olivia Colman, are you at a big party? 81 00:03:59,249 --> 00:04:01,449 No, I like being at home on New Year's Eve. Wow! 82 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,089 Lucky we pre-recorded this! 83 00:04:04,889 --> 00:04:08,169 Micheal Ward, you're young, surely YOU'RE at a party? Come on! 84 00:04:08,169 --> 00:04:11,569 Go out for the four of us. You're cutting a rug? You're cutting a rug? 85 00:04:11,569 --> 00:04:12,809 I'm going to a party. Yay! 86 00:04:14,209 --> 00:04:15,849 Finally, someone's at a party. 87 00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:17,529 Can you tell us what sort of party? 88 00:04:17,529 --> 00:04:19,369 Is it a house party, is it a big club night? 89 00:04:19,369 --> 00:04:22,369 Who knows? Just whatever me and my friends decide to do on the night. 90 00:04:22,369 --> 00:04:25,329 They ARE the party. We're spontaneous. Yes! 91 00:04:25,329 --> 00:04:27,049 That's the key thing on New Year's Eve, 92 00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,729 don't plan anything. Exactly! Er... 93 00:04:31,329 --> 00:04:34,329 Romesh, what about you? I'm guessing no party? 94 00:04:34,329 --> 00:04:35,569 OLIVIA: Oh... 95 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:37,009 What?! 96 00:04:38,009 --> 00:04:41,569 That's actually an incredibly aggressive first question, Graham. 97 00:04:41,569 --> 00:04:43,129 Yeah, that's really nasty. 98 00:04:43,129 --> 00:04:46,169 No, you seem to be very kind of, you know, "I'M not going to a party. 99 00:04:46,169 --> 00:04:49,609 "Come to me, Norton. I'll tell you about the party I'm not going to." 100 00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:53,289 Well, I'm sort of anti-New Year's Eve as a thing, 101 00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:57,089 just sort of that kind of compulsion to have a really good time, 102 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,449 I find offensive. 103 00:04:59,449 --> 00:05:01,609 You know that sort of thing where, like, 104 00:05:01,609 --> 00:05:03,889 you've just had Christmas and then you've got that kind 105 00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:05,809 of gooch in between Christmas and New Year, 106 00:05:05,809 --> 00:05:08,929 and then people are sort of seeing each other left, right and centre 107 00:05:08,929 --> 00:05:12,129 and they go, "We've got to have a great time on New Year's Eve." 108 00:05:12,129 --> 00:05:16,209 Like, one of my mum's New Year's resolutions was to see me more. 109 00:05:16,209 --> 00:05:18,569 And I said, "Well, that sits in direct contradiction 110 00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:21,489 "to my New Year's resolution, which is to see you a lot less." 111 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,969 Listen, let me tell you something. 112 00:05:22,969 --> 00:05:25,249 I need to call my mum out on this, right? 113 00:05:25,249 --> 00:05:28,129 Because she does a lot of stuff like this, right? 114 00:05:28,129 --> 00:05:30,209 So she works, right, and she is always going... 115 00:05:30,209 --> 00:05:32,889 IN SRI LANKAN ACCENT: People always say, "Your son's on television, 116 00:05:32,889 --> 00:05:34,369 "why are you still working?" 117 00:05:34,369 --> 00:05:36,089 But she chooses to continue working. 118 00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:38,769 She was working Saturdays, right, she was doing six days a week 119 00:05:38,769 --> 00:05:40,809 and I said to her, "Mum, I just don't think at your age 120 00:05:40,809 --> 00:05:43,009 "you should be doing six days a week, it's really..." 121 00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,729 And she goes, "But I don't know what to do about the money." 122 00:05:45,729 --> 00:05:48,489 I said, "Look, I tell you what, give up Saturdays, I'll pay you 123 00:05:48,489 --> 00:05:50,449 "whatever you get on the Saturdays, right? 124 00:05:50,449 --> 00:05:52,009 "So just stop working Saturdays." 125 00:05:52,009 --> 00:05:54,249 She took the money, carried on working Saturdays. 126 00:05:57,769 --> 00:06:00,089 That's smart. That's smart, yeah. 127 00:06:00,089 --> 00:06:03,329 Now it's like she's working on Sunday too. 128 00:06:03,329 --> 00:06:06,569 All right, look, let's start with Olivia and Micheal's movie, 129 00:06:06,569 --> 00:06:07,929 Empire Of Light. 130 00:06:07,929 --> 00:06:12,449 It's a romantic drama and it's in cinemas from January 9th, 131 00:06:12,449 --> 00:06:14,929 written and directed by Sam Mendes. 132 00:06:14,929 --> 00:06:18,609 So, Micheal, Olivia, who do you play, what's it about, 133 00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:21,329 have you figured out how you do this as a double act yet? No. 134 00:06:21,329 --> 00:06:24,129 No, we have not, actually. Who do YOU play? 135 00:06:24,129 --> 00:06:28,569 Well, I play a young man called Stephen who starts 136 00:06:28,569 --> 00:06:31,329 working at this cinema that Hilary's working in. 137 00:06:31,329 --> 00:06:33,209 I'm Hilary! OK, got it. Got it. 138 00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:36,849 I'd say the movie is about two people who are kind of lonely, 139 00:06:36,849 --> 00:06:39,889 and they find kind of solace in each other. 140 00:06:39,889 --> 00:06:41,529 That's how I'd kind of put it. 141 00:06:41,529 --> 00:06:43,889 And then they just go on a journey with each other. "Solace." 142 00:06:43,889 --> 00:06:45,569 Yep, yep, yep. Is that not right? 143 00:06:47,009 --> 00:06:50,369 It's just, it's a bit ruder than that, isn't it? Just a bit. 144 00:06:50,369 --> 00:06:53,889 There are some solace scenes. Only twice. It's rude twice. 145 00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:55,409 GRAHAM LAUGHS 146 00:06:55,409 --> 00:06:57,969 And it's a beautiful film, it's so gorgeous, 147 00:06:57,969 --> 00:07:00,369 and you're both brilliant in it, and gorgeously shot. 148 00:07:00,369 --> 00:07:01,649 And we've got a lovely clip, 149 00:07:01,649 --> 00:07:03,729 and it couldn't have been more perfect for tonight. 150 00:07:03,729 --> 00:07:07,529 It's New Year's Eve, and the two of you are on the roof 151 00:07:07,529 --> 00:07:10,769 of the cinema, waiting for the fireworks. It's gorgeous. 152 00:07:12,049 --> 00:07:14,209 BELLS CHIME Oh, listen. 153 00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:31,049 Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky, 154 00:07:31,049 --> 00:07:33,929 The flying cloud and the frosty light: 155 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:38,009 The year is dying in the night; 156 00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:41,049 Ring out, wild bells, and let him die. 157 00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:46,889 Nice. 158 00:07:46,889 --> 00:07:48,289 Tennyson. 159 00:07:48,289 --> 00:07:49,929 CROWD, BELOW: Ten, nine... 160 00:07:49,929 --> 00:07:51,209 Eight... 161 00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:54,609 BOTH: ..seven, six, five, 162 00:07:54,609 --> 00:07:58,689 four, three, two, one! 163 00:07:58,689 --> 00:08:00,089 CROWD CHEERS 164 00:08:00,089 --> 00:08:01,729 Happy New Year! 165 00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:05,209 FIREWORKS EXPLODE 166 00:08:39,489 --> 00:08:40,529 Shit! 167 00:08:44,369 --> 00:08:45,809 Hilary, it's all right! 168 00:08:45,809 --> 00:08:47,369 Aww! Beautiful. 169 00:08:47,369 --> 00:08:49,729 ROMESH: That looks... That looks unbelievable. 170 00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:51,289 That looks SO good. 171 00:08:51,289 --> 00:08:53,609 It was unbelievable. It was. 172 00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:56,729 It does look so good. Were you saying then that those fireworks 173 00:08:56,729 --> 00:08:58,529 were real? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 174 00:08:58,529 --> 00:09:01,089 And they went off in the same order every single take. 175 00:09:01,089 --> 00:09:02,729 Those fireworks are good! 176 00:09:04,129 --> 00:09:06,369 Micheal, obviously we know you from Top Boy, 177 00:09:06,369 --> 00:09:10,049 and you were so good in Lovers Rock as part of the Small Axe series, 178 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,769 but what was it like going, you know, 179 00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:14,449 toe-to-toe with Dame Olivia Colman? 180 00:09:14,449 --> 00:09:16,689 I wouldn't say toe-to-toe. Oh! 181 00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:19,769 But I would say it was an amazing experience. 182 00:09:20,929 --> 00:09:22,209 I just learned so much, man. 183 00:09:22,209 --> 00:09:26,449 To be able to, you know, even share the same space as actors that 184 00:09:26,449 --> 00:09:29,609 I've got the opportunity to do that with, it was just amazing. 185 00:09:29,609 --> 00:09:33,969 I learned so much about just being a real person, you know? 186 00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:36,889 Everyone just had a real sense of humanity, which I love, 187 00:09:36,889 --> 00:09:41,089 because, I like to say is if Olivia had been, you know, 188 00:09:41,089 --> 00:09:44,609 rude or just not a nice person, I might have thought that's how 189 00:09:44,609 --> 00:09:47,369 I need to be to reach a certain level of success, you know? 190 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:48,849 That's what I'VE done. 191 00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,649 That's the model I follow. 192 00:09:50,649 --> 00:09:52,809 Just be an absolute nuclear-level prick. 193 00:09:53,889 --> 00:09:56,969 Well, that's the words I WANTED to use, but... 194 00:09:56,969 --> 00:10:00,529 The fact that Olivia was so lovely, you know, it showed me 195 00:10:00,529 --> 00:10:04,409 that I can be a good person and reach that height of success. 196 00:10:04,409 --> 00:10:06,489 That's nice! Yeah. Thank you. 197 00:10:06,489 --> 00:10:09,689 Pay me later. And, Olivia, I mean nothing rude by this, 198 00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,329 but there is an age difference. 199 00:10:12,329 --> 00:10:15,049 Is there?! What you trying to say?! 200 00:10:15,049 --> 00:10:17,209 How much older are you, Micheal? 201 00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:21,969 That's very good. Love you. You win the prize. 202 00:10:26,129 --> 00:10:29,409 Now we feel like shits that we all didn't say that. 203 00:10:29,409 --> 00:10:31,169 Oh, Romesh! 204 00:10:32,369 --> 00:10:35,409 Were you ever aware of the age difference, Olivia? 205 00:10:36,529 --> 00:10:38,369 I was. One... 206 00:10:38,369 --> 00:10:41,689 There was one particular moment where I'm 207 00:10:41,689 --> 00:10:43,649 astride Micheal in a compromising 208 00:10:43,649 --> 00:10:45,489 and slightly embarrassing situation - 209 00:10:45,489 --> 00:10:48,449 I found it embarrassing, you were very cool with everything - 210 00:10:48,449 --> 00:10:51,689 AND he said, "It's my mum's birthday today." I went "Oh, yay! 211 00:10:51,689 --> 00:10:53,929 "How old is she?!" 212 00:10:53,929 --> 00:10:55,529 "43." 213 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,609 I went, "OK, Micheal, stop talking. Sh." 214 00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:06,009 Yeah. I'm quite a chunk older than his mother. 215 00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:13,969 And now, here's the thing, you had the intimacy coordinator involved. 216 00:11:13,969 --> 00:11:16,569 Was that...? What is that like, 217 00:11:16,569 --> 00:11:19,649 dealing with the intimacy coordinator? A third person? 218 00:11:19,649 --> 00:11:22,489 She was amazing. Yeah, I found it really amazing, 219 00:11:22,489 --> 00:11:24,249 and really helpful. Yeah. Truly. 220 00:11:24,249 --> 00:11:26,089 I'd like one in real life, frankly. 221 00:11:27,489 --> 00:11:29,609 That sounds absolutely fantastic. 222 00:11:29,609 --> 00:11:32,009 Just to help you through? It does help. Yeah. 223 00:11:32,009 --> 00:11:33,809 Because it's embarrassing, isn't it? 224 00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:36,769 Trying to do a sex scene and there's a load of bored people 225 00:11:36,769 --> 00:11:40,249 with wet weather gear holding up booms or texting on their phone. 226 00:11:40,249 --> 00:11:41,729 And I found... 227 00:11:41,729 --> 00:11:44,009 One note she gave, which was very helpful, 228 00:11:44,009 --> 00:11:46,169 which you can all try in an awkward moment 229 00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:47,969 when you're not feeling it... 230 00:11:47,969 --> 00:11:50,249 I was totally feeling it, that's not... 231 00:11:51,889 --> 00:11:55,329 Is when... An orgasm, feel like the sun is hitting your face... 232 00:11:55,329 --> 00:11:57,809 Mm. Squinting? You're going... 233 00:11:57,809 --> 00:12:00,609 Oh, I thought you were just going to go like that! 234 00:12:00,609 --> 00:12:02,489 Like that! Oh! 235 00:12:04,889 --> 00:12:06,729 I've come! 236 00:12:10,769 --> 00:12:12,409 That was the best, yeah. 237 00:12:14,329 --> 00:12:15,569 Argh! 238 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,969 It's family viewing on BBC One, stop it. 239 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:20,929 Talking of kissing at midnight, which is a lovely thing to 240 00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:24,409 do on New Year's Eve, and we look at the audience here - hello, audience. 241 00:12:24,409 --> 00:12:28,049 I think what we need is some New Year's Eve kiss cams, OK? 242 00:12:28,049 --> 00:12:29,169 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo! 243 00:12:29,169 --> 00:12:31,849 So can we see, we've got a kiss cam, it'll go up on the big screen, 244 00:12:31,849 --> 00:12:33,129 you can see it here. 245 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:35,769 So we're just looking for people who... Oh, look, there's... 246 00:12:35,769 --> 00:12:37,329 Oh! Oh! 247 00:12:37,329 --> 00:12:39,249 He looked and he was rejected! 248 00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:42,089 I like all the women just shaking their heads! 249 00:12:42,089 --> 00:12:44,729 "No." There, the woman in the green... 250 00:12:44,729 --> 00:12:46,129 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 251 00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:47,769 CHEERING 252 00:12:48,929 --> 00:12:51,009 Well done! 253 00:12:51,009 --> 00:12:53,249 Let's keep drifting, let's keep drifting, 254 00:12:53,249 --> 00:12:55,089 see who else we get. Oh, there's... Now, look. 255 00:12:55,089 --> 00:12:57,849 You look hopeful, the lady in the glasses looks really hopeful. 256 00:12:57,849 --> 00:12:59,569 She's looking at him, thinking, "Will he?" 257 00:12:59,569 --> 00:13:02,289 They're going to kiss! They're going to kiss! Where? Oh, oh, oh! 258 00:13:02,289 --> 00:13:03,729 CHEERING 259 00:13:03,729 --> 00:13:07,689 Any more for any more? Are there any people here on dates? 260 00:13:07,689 --> 00:13:10,689 Any people here on dates? Let's see if we can see some people on dates. 261 00:13:10,689 --> 00:13:12,049 They were on a date! 262 00:13:12,049 --> 00:13:13,569 That man in the beanie hat, 263 00:13:13,569 --> 00:13:15,769 the man in the beanie hat, he wants to...? 264 00:13:15,769 --> 00:13:18,049 No? Yes? No? Yes? 265 00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:20,009 It's Justin Timberlake! 266 00:13:22,089 --> 00:13:25,529 It is! Are you and the lady...? I'm getting that's an early date? 267 00:13:25,529 --> 00:13:27,169 Is this an early date? First date! 268 00:13:27,169 --> 00:13:30,249 Oh, we can't... No, no! Move on, move on! 269 00:13:30,249 --> 00:13:34,489 Well done, well done. Seal the deal! Seal the deal! Seal the deal! 270 00:13:34,489 --> 00:13:38,489 No, no, no, no! No! Don't kiss! 271 00:13:38,489 --> 00:13:40,329 CHEERING 272 00:13:42,809 --> 00:13:46,449 He's gassed. He is gassed. 273 00:13:46,449 --> 00:13:48,089 Well done, well done. 274 00:13:48,089 --> 00:13:50,729 Actually, by the way, Romesh, what's the story with you? 275 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,009 Did you get caught on a kiss cam, 276 00:13:52,009 --> 00:13:53,969 or a kiss cam got you in trouble or something? 277 00:13:53,969 --> 00:13:57,049 Well, I did get caught, basically... 278 00:13:57,049 --> 00:13:59,849 Basically a photo went up and somebody started saying, 279 00:13:59,849 --> 00:14:02,489 "I've just seen you not kissing your wife, kissing someone else." 280 00:14:02,489 --> 00:14:03,729 That is not me. 281 00:14:04,849 --> 00:14:07,769 That is some random guy at the cricket. I think that's you. 282 00:14:09,009 --> 00:14:12,289 But, listen, my wife thought it was me for about half an hour. 283 00:14:12,289 --> 00:14:16,129 Basically, that photo, that guy just proposed at the cricket final, 284 00:14:16,129 --> 00:14:18,569 and then I just started getting sent that photo going, 285 00:14:18,569 --> 00:14:21,209 "Oh, mate, you're rolling deep at the cricket." 286 00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:24,849 And then I had to basically come out with this denial that it wasn't me. 287 00:14:24,849 --> 00:14:26,769 I get that so many... Like, so many... 288 00:14:26,769 --> 00:14:29,529 Basically every Asian bloke in this country with a beard 289 00:14:29,529 --> 00:14:31,369 and glasses is my lookalike. 290 00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:34,329 I get sent so many messages from people. 291 00:14:34,329 --> 00:14:37,689 Now, Hugh Laurie has a great family film for the holidays, 292 00:14:37,689 --> 00:14:40,129 it's called The Amazing Maurice. 293 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,609 It's in cinemas and on Sky Cinema now. 294 00:14:43,609 --> 00:14:45,809 And you are Maurice? 295 00:14:45,809 --> 00:14:47,849 And I'm amazing. Yeah. 296 00:14:47,849 --> 00:14:49,449 Yes, I am. 297 00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:53,809 Who's Maurice? I am playing that, um, ginger cat. 298 00:14:53,809 --> 00:14:57,729 That is The Amazing Maurice. And that's...me. 299 00:14:57,729 --> 00:14:59,929 And what makes him amazing? 300 00:14:59,929 --> 00:15:01,569 I'm going to keep going. 301 00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:03,809 I want to know more! 302 00:15:03,809 --> 00:15:10,409 This is Terry Pratchett's retelling of the Pied Piper Of Hamelin story. 303 00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:12,809 That's basically what it is. 304 00:15:12,809 --> 00:15:15,809 A town becomes infested by rats and the amazing Maurice 305 00:15:15,809 --> 00:15:18,089 and his lovely rats 306 00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:20,609 get the town out of the jam they're in. 307 00:15:20,609 --> 00:15:24,169 And he's a conniver and a deal-maker 308 00:15:24,169 --> 00:15:28,849 and he... Oh, he gets up to no end of mischief! 309 00:15:28,849 --> 00:15:30,889 LAUGHTER 310 00:15:30,889 --> 00:15:33,929 And it was lovely. I loved doing it. I think it's t... 311 00:15:33,929 --> 00:15:35,569 And the animation is astounding. 312 00:15:35,569 --> 00:15:37,609 And I think I look really handsome in it. 313 00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:39,249 You do. You look great. 314 00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:41,449 I must say they are really nice rats. 315 00:15:41,449 --> 00:15:42,969 We've got a little clip. 316 00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:45,929 This is Maurice... "Maw-reece". "Mo-reece." 317 00:15:45,929 --> 00:15:48,649 That's the great schism, Graham. I don't know. 318 00:15:48,649 --> 00:15:52,409 Maurice. I don't really know how you say that. Nor me. 319 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:57,289 Here you are in action, selling your services to some villagers. 320 00:15:57,289 --> 00:16:05,009 Rats. You've got rats. Rats. 321 00:16:05,009 --> 00:16:08,649 # Nibbling here, napping there They widdle on your tableware 322 00:16:08,649 --> 00:16:10,889 # You try to poison, trap and shoot them 323 00:16:10,889 --> 00:16:13,049 # Race and chase and stomp and thump them 324 00:16:13,049 --> 00:16:14,969 # They leap with marvellous agility 325 00:16:14,969 --> 00:16:17,649 # No beast can match their sheer... # 326 00:16:17,649 --> 00:16:19,409 Um, er... 327 00:16:19,409 --> 00:16:22,249 # ..adaptability? # Buck-uck! 328 00:16:23,489 --> 00:16:25,249 # Rats 329 00:16:25,249 --> 00:16:26,729 # Rats, rats 330 00:16:26,729 --> 00:16:30,169 # You've! Got! Rats! 331 00:16:30,169 --> 00:16:31,649 # Rats. # 332 00:16:31,649 --> 00:16:34,049 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 333 00:16:35,729 --> 00:16:37,689 Beautiful work. Beautiful work. 334 00:16:39,569 --> 00:16:43,969 And although you are a very convincing cat... Thank you. 335 00:16:43,969 --> 00:16:46,409 ..you're not a cat man, really. 336 00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:50,089 I'm not, no. I don't know how cats work. 337 00:16:50,089 --> 00:16:52,969 I'm more of a dog person. 338 00:16:52,969 --> 00:16:55,929 And I also slightly resent, if I may say, 339 00:16:55,929 --> 00:16:59,649 the very slight air of superiority that cat owners have 340 00:16:59,649 --> 00:17:03,529 over dog owners, because they think that dog owners, 341 00:17:03,529 --> 00:17:07,369 like dogs, are needy and submissive, and cats are kind of, 342 00:17:07,369 --> 00:17:09,969 you know, independent and free thinkers, you know, 343 00:17:09,969 --> 00:17:13,089 "Therefore I am too." It's the sort of thing they... 344 00:17:13,089 --> 00:17:15,689 I don't go along with that. I think the neediness 345 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:18,169 between dogs and humans is a very beautiful thing. 346 00:17:18,169 --> 00:17:21,169 I've got nothing against cats, but independence - saying, 347 00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:23,409 "I love cats for their independence"... 348 00:17:23,409 --> 00:17:25,049 I mean, a stick's independent. 349 00:17:26,249 --> 00:17:29,489 On its own, it's not a great recommendation, I don't think. 350 00:17:30,689 --> 00:17:33,569 We had a cat called Morris. You have a cat? 351 00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:35,209 No, he died. He was 21 when he died. 352 00:17:35,209 --> 00:17:37,809 But he never liked us. That's amazing. Yes. He never liked us. 353 00:17:37,809 --> 00:17:42,089 It was called Morris. Not Maurice. You said Morris. It was M-O-R-R-I-S. 354 00:17:42,089 --> 00:17:45,289 Morris. Oh, yes, yes. You had a cat called Morris. 355 00:17:45,289 --> 00:17:47,169 He never liked us. He never? 356 00:17:47,169 --> 00:17:49,929 This is what I don't understand. 21 years. 357 00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:52,649 This is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. 358 00:17:52,649 --> 00:17:55,249 But did you enjoy having him as a pet? 359 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:58,249 When we got, we adored him, 360 00:17:58,249 --> 00:18:00,569 and I loved him for his full 21 years. 361 00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:02,809 But it was very clear that he didn't really give a shit. 362 00:18:02,809 --> 00:18:06,489 Not reciprocated. He got old and he decided he didn't want to go outside 363 00:18:06,489 --> 00:18:08,729 so he'd just look you in the eye and piss. 364 00:18:08,729 --> 00:18:12,129 Oh! He'd go, "Look at me, look at me." And then he'd piss. 365 00:18:14,649 --> 00:18:17,769 This film, is it one of those films where there's jokes for adults 366 00:18:17,769 --> 00:18:19,929 and anyone can watch it? Absolutely. 367 00:18:19,929 --> 00:18:24,089 I would say...it's fun for all the fam... There you go! 368 00:18:24,089 --> 00:18:28,369 It's utterly charming. And, as I say, the animation is astounding. 369 00:18:28,369 --> 00:18:30,529 And it's really good fun. 370 00:18:30,529 --> 00:18:33,289 It's... I'm very proud of it. 371 00:18:33,289 --> 00:18:37,129 Cos, taking your kids to the cinema, I'm sure some parents don't like to, 372 00:18:37,129 --> 00:18:40,009 but you like taking your kids to the cinema. 373 00:18:40,009 --> 00:18:41,569 I LOVE taking my kids to the cinema, yes. 374 00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:43,449 It's like our regular family thing. 375 00:18:43,449 --> 00:18:45,689 But it's sort of difficult sometimes. 376 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:48,889 Our second son is very strong-willed. 377 00:18:48,889 --> 00:18:51,769 I do like to encourage that. Do you call him Second Son? 378 00:18:51,769 --> 00:18:53,969 LAUGHTER 379 00:18:53,969 --> 00:18:55,529 I do actually. 380 00:18:55,529 --> 00:18:57,369 I call him Second Son Possibly 381 00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:00,009 cos my wife had a thing with her PT for a while. 382 00:19:00,009 --> 00:19:01,729 LAUGHTER 383 00:19:01,729 --> 00:19:05,289 I... Like, basically we were going to watch Coco... 384 00:19:07,209 --> 00:19:10,849 I love that film. We were all going together and he said, 385 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:13,729 "I don't want to watch Coco, I don't want to come and watch Coco." 386 00:19:13,729 --> 00:19:16,449 I said, "I'm really sorry, that's not an option 387 00:19:16,449 --> 00:19:19,409 "because we are all going to the cinema and we got nobody 388 00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:21,929 "to look after you so we can't leave you here on your own, 389 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:24,089 "so you're going to have to come to the cinema." 390 00:19:24,089 --> 00:19:26,849 He goes, "I'm not watching the film." I said, "That's up to you, 391 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:28,329 "but you are coming to the cinema 392 00:19:28,329 --> 00:19:30,889 "and we are going into the theatre. That is the situation." 393 00:19:30,889 --> 00:19:33,329 So we went into the cinema and he, 394 00:19:33,329 --> 00:19:35,169 for the entire duration of the film, 395 00:19:35,169 --> 00:19:36,809 sat facing away from the screen. 396 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,449 No! That's impressive. 397 00:19:38,449 --> 00:19:41,089 He said, "I'm not watching Coco. I said, "That's up to you, 398 00:19:41,089 --> 00:19:43,329 "but you're here, it's a really great film." 399 00:19:43,329 --> 00:19:47,649 And he faced the back of the theatre for the entire duration of the film. 400 00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:50,649 This boy is going to go far. Do you know what? I respected it, man. 401 00:19:50,649 --> 00:19:52,729 I thought, fair play. 402 00:19:52,729 --> 00:19:55,569 LAUGHTER I'm just thinking about the person 403 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,729 in the row behind having an angry child staring at them throughout. 404 00:19:59,729 --> 00:20:01,649 Every now and again, I'd turn round and go, 405 00:20:01,649 --> 00:20:03,649 "Why do you keep looking at my kid, man?" 406 00:20:03,649 --> 00:20:05,289 APPLAUSE 407 00:20:05,289 --> 00:20:06,729 But he did it for the whole film. 408 00:20:06,729 --> 00:20:09,089 He's watched it all since, he enjoyed it. That's good. 409 00:20:09,089 --> 00:20:11,569 Hugh Laurie, we must also mention 410 00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:13,409 Avenue 5 is back. That's... 411 00:20:13,409 --> 00:20:15,449 APPLAUSE Yes. 412 00:20:17,089 --> 00:20:19,929 ..playing on Sky Comedy. This is the second series. 413 00:20:19,929 --> 00:20:23,009 That's right. The long-awaited second series. Yes. 414 00:20:23,009 --> 00:20:25,649 Well, long enforced, but long-awaited, yes. 415 00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:30,289 The secret is now out that you're not a real captain. We know that... 416 00:20:30,289 --> 00:20:33,209 Not a real captain, not a real American, not a real anything. 417 00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:34,729 Much like my life. 418 00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:38,449 But it is an acting challenge 419 00:20:38,449 --> 00:20:41,769 cos you've got to be British pretending to be American. Yes. 420 00:20:41,769 --> 00:20:44,529 You've ruined it now. I haven't seen the first series. 421 00:20:44,529 --> 00:20:47,969 Sorry. Spoiler alert. It's been lying on the streamer for two years. 422 00:20:47,969 --> 00:20:51,489 Yeah. So... If you were keen you'd have seen it by now. Right. 423 00:20:51,489 --> 00:20:53,809 Olivia Colman, brackets, "Not keen". 424 00:20:53,809 --> 00:20:56,529 LAUGHTER 425 00:20:56,529 --> 00:20:59,329 But it must be quite a challenge for you to do that. 426 00:20:59,329 --> 00:21:03,009 It's also a bit of an escape route because if you mess something up 427 00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:05,849 and it doesn't sound right, you've always got the excuse of saying, 428 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:08,369 "I'm not really... That's the whole point, I'm not really 429 00:21:08,369 --> 00:21:11,489 "an American. That was a deliberate mistake that I put in there." 430 00:21:11,489 --> 00:21:12,929 Which I didn't, at all. 431 00:21:14,369 --> 00:21:17,569 So I found that actually easier than doing House, 432 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:22,289 for example, which I just felt like it had to be right. 433 00:21:22,289 --> 00:21:25,249 Yeah. Cos it would get in the way if it wasn't right. 434 00:21:25,249 --> 00:21:28,569 Were you able to get to a point where...? Cos I... 435 00:21:28,569 --> 00:21:31,849 Getting my head round being able to do so many scenes 436 00:21:31,849 --> 00:21:34,249 with a different accent, do you just get to a point 437 00:21:34,249 --> 00:21:36,529 where you're naturally able to perform that? 438 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:39,529 Never. Not one day, not one scene. No. 439 00:21:39,529 --> 00:21:41,809 Cos you lived there for a long time. And with everybody 440 00:21:41,809 --> 00:21:45,049 being American around you, did it help to make it more comfortable? 441 00:21:45,049 --> 00:21:46,689 No. 442 00:21:46,689 --> 00:21:50,729 I still felt every scene it was like just trying to walk with everybody, 443 00:21:50,729 --> 00:21:53,529 and you're the one with a stone in your shoe 444 00:21:53,529 --> 00:21:56,569 and everyone else is just floating along and you are always going, 445 00:21:56,569 --> 00:21:59,889 "That didn't sound right. That didn't sound right." Wow. 446 00:21:59,889 --> 00:22:03,009 I went for an addition for the film The Martian, 447 00:22:03,009 --> 00:22:06,209 just for like playing guy at computer terminal, 448 00:22:06,209 --> 00:22:08,049 wondering why the spaceship didn't... 449 00:22:08,049 --> 00:22:10,009 Second guy... Yeah. Yeah. 450 00:22:10,009 --> 00:22:15,129 I went to the casting and I walked in and they said, "OK, Romesh, 451 00:22:15,129 --> 00:22:16,929 "nice to meet you." 452 00:22:16,929 --> 00:22:19,889 I said, "Would you like me to do it American or British?" 453 00:22:19,889 --> 00:22:22,489 They said, "Let's do American." I hadn't prepared American. 454 00:22:22,489 --> 00:22:24,049 I don't know why I'd offered it. 455 00:22:26,089 --> 00:22:29,529 In my head, I thought they'll definitely say British, 456 00:22:29,529 --> 00:22:31,729 but it looks like I've got the other option. 457 00:22:31,729 --> 00:22:33,809 They said, "Let's do American." 458 00:22:33,809 --> 00:22:35,569 I was like, "Oh." 459 00:22:35,569 --> 00:22:39,289 So then I had to sort of freestyle this American accent, 460 00:22:39,289 --> 00:22:42,729 and the casting director started corpsing 461 00:22:42,729 --> 00:22:44,289 as I was doing... 462 00:22:44,289 --> 00:22:45,969 No? Yes, genuinely. No! 463 00:22:45,969 --> 00:22:48,409 So, she was behind the camera, filming... No. 464 00:22:48,409 --> 00:22:50,849 As I was doing it she was... 465 00:22:50,849 --> 00:22:53,529 COUGHING No! Don't! 466 00:22:53,529 --> 00:22:56,129 Then I finish, she goes, "Do you want to have another go?" 467 00:22:56,129 --> 00:22:58,769 I said, "If you can stop laughing, I'll have another go." 468 00:22:58,769 --> 00:23:01,169 I did it a second time and I said, "I don't think I'll bother 469 00:23:01,169 --> 00:23:02,849 "doing the British. See you later." 470 00:23:02,849 --> 00:23:07,329 But, Micheal, Top Boy, big hit here, but also loved in America. 471 00:23:07,329 --> 00:23:10,569 MICHEAL: Yes. And they love your voice in that show. 472 00:23:10,569 --> 00:23:12,569 How do YOU know that? 473 00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:15,289 Because somebody told me. Oh. 474 00:23:16,329 --> 00:23:20,449 From the reception I've received, yeah, they like it. 475 00:23:20,449 --> 00:23:24,049 But do Americans try to do it to you? All the time. 476 00:23:25,969 --> 00:23:27,809 It is what it is. 477 00:23:27,809 --> 00:23:31,929 I'd rather them do that than do a posh British accent every time 478 00:23:31,929 --> 00:23:34,929 they see me, cos I don't speak like that, you know what I mean? 479 00:23:34,929 --> 00:23:37,449 So the fact that they actually try and say, 480 00:23:37,449 --> 00:23:39,769 "Bruv" and, "Where's your P's, fam?" 481 00:23:41,049 --> 00:23:43,409 I'd rather them at least give it a go. 482 00:23:43,409 --> 00:23:46,329 Yeah. Didn't you meet a celebrity fan of Top Boy? Yes. 483 00:23:46,329 --> 00:23:51,449 I've met a lot of celebrity fans but one more memorable was Busta Rhymes, 484 00:23:51,449 --> 00:23:53,569 that was incredible. OLIVIA GASPS 485 00:23:53,569 --> 00:23:55,969 In New York. Because he was just such a big fan. 486 00:23:55,969 --> 00:23:58,129 But I'm just like, "Yo, that's..." 487 00:23:58,129 --> 00:24:00,209 # I gotta get away, gotta... # 488 00:24:00,209 --> 00:24:03,609 I couldn't believe he was just right in front of me and he was showing me 489 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:06,809 so much love, but... Yeah, man, they love it. The love the culture. 490 00:24:06,809 --> 00:24:11,329 What I realised then was that the culture is so universal, 491 00:24:11,329 --> 00:24:14,369 like not even just the American stuff, going Italy, 492 00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,689 Italy was the first place I travelled to after the show came out 493 00:24:17,689 --> 00:24:20,849 and I had fans on the plane. I was thinking, "Wow, this is insane." 494 00:24:20,849 --> 00:24:22,929 Are you dubbed in Italian? Yes. 495 00:24:22,929 --> 00:24:25,329 Does it sound amazing? But some people still watch it 496 00:24:25,329 --> 00:24:26,809 with the subtitles here. 497 00:24:26,809 --> 00:24:31,129 I love it. We did... Broadchurch was dubbed in different languages. 498 00:24:31,129 --> 00:24:33,609 I loved watching it. I love it. I love watching it in Somali. 499 00:24:33,609 --> 00:24:35,449 You sound amazing in a different language. 500 00:24:35,449 --> 00:24:38,209 I like watching the Somali clips of it. It's really different. 501 00:24:38,209 --> 00:24:39,729 It's so cool. 502 00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:41,929 I wish you had a clip of that. Sadly, we don't. 503 00:24:41,929 --> 00:24:44,009 But huge congratulations on that. 504 00:24:44,009 --> 00:24:47,849 You have a Bafta. Yes. Yes, you do. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 505 00:24:47,849 --> 00:24:49,009 There he is. 506 00:24:50,809 --> 00:24:54,889 I say YOU have a Bafta, but that's not strictly true. 507 00:24:54,889 --> 00:24:58,369 It's definitely not true. Who has your Bafta? My mum. 508 00:24:58,369 --> 00:25:00,649 I never really had a choice in that matter, though. 509 00:25:00,649 --> 00:25:02,889 She put it somewhere and now it's hers. 510 00:25:02,889 --> 00:25:05,169 I don't actually have that Bafta any more. 511 00:25:05,169 --> 00:25:07,009 You have to win another one. Yes. 512 00:25:07,009 --> 00:25:09,569 I need another one. Hopefully for Empire Of Light. 513 00:25:09,569 --> 00:25:12,649 Put it out in the world. Ferrari. Bafta. 514 00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:15,769 You've had a similar situation with your Bafta, haven't you, Romesh? 515 00:25:15,769 --> 00:25:19,849 Yeah, you've made me look pretty bad though, because I'd got a Bafta. 516 00:25:19,849 --> 00:25:23,369 My mum phoned me up and said, "Can I come round and see the Bafta?" 517 00:25:23,369 --> 00:25:25,169 And I said, "Yeah, of course." 518 00:25:25,169 --> 00:25:27,209 Part of her New Year's resolution. 519 00:25:27,209 --> 00:25:30,129 She came round and she took a photo with the Bafta 520 00:25:30,129 --> 00:25:31,889 and then she went home. 521 00:25:31,889 --> 00:25:33,489 There she is. 522 00:25:33,489 --> 00:25:36,009 You'd almost think SHE'D won. 523 00:25:36,009 --> 00:25:39,449 And then she went home and she posted it on Facebook. 524 00:25:39,449 --> 00:25:42,929 But the caption said, "I asked him if he could give it to me 525 00:25:42,929 --> 00:25:45,529 "and he said no." Which is not true. She never asked me. 526 00:25:45,529 --> 00:25:47,849 Then all these friends of hers started going, "I think 527 00:25:47,849 --> 00:25:50,609 "that's absolutely disgusting. You brought him into this world. 528 00:25:50,609 --> 00:25:52,649 "I can't believe he's not letting you support him. 529 00:25:52,649 --> 00:25:54,089 "You did everything for that boy." 530 00:25:54,089 --> 00:25:56,289 And I had to, like, respond to the allegations. 531 00:25:56,289 --> 00:25:58,529 I ended up going back on to Facebook. 532 00:25:58,529 --> 00:26:02,129 Can I just say, Mum never asked if she could take the Bafta, 533 00:26:02,129 --> 00:26:03,529 and you can have it if you want to. 534 00:26:03,529 --> 00:26:05,849 You're calling her a liar now. 535 00:26:05,849 --> 00:26:08,889 LAUGHTER Very good. 536 00:26:08,889 --> 00:26:11,649 Baftas, be damned! Oscar. Where is your Oscar, Olivia? 537 00:26:11,649 --> 00:26:12,809 Where do you keep it? 538 00:26:12,809 --> 00:26:14,289 It's in the cupboard. 539 00:26:14,289 --> 00:26:16,929 Is there a glass front on the cupboard? 540 00:26:16,929 --> 00:26:21,609 No. It feels a little bit, a bit ostentatious to have it out, 541 00:26:21,609 --> 00:26:25,169 so I have it in the cupboard so I can go, "Hello." 542 00:26:25,169 --> 00:26:29,209 LAUGHTER I like to think, when you open the cupboard there's a kind of... 543 00:26:29,209 --> 00:26:31,649 # Ah-h-h-h! # And lights come out. 544 00:26:31,649 --> 00:26:35,289 Yes. Yeah. It should be out. It was out for the first year 545 00:26:35,289 --> 00:26:36,929 but I think after that you should 546 00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:39,569 crack on, forget it happened and keep working. 547 00:26:39,569 --> 00:26:42,329 But you do have a cool thing on display. 548 00:26:42,329 --> 00:26:44,529 It's something you got from The Crown. 549 00:26:44,529 --> 00:26:47,409 Tell... This is such... Did you nick it or was it given to you? 550 00:26:47,409 --> 00:26:49,329 Um, I think it... 551 00:26:49,329 --> 00:26:51,129 LAUGHTER 552 00:26:51,129 --> 00:26:53,809 Um...! It was a lovely props person 553 00:26:53,809 --> 00:26:57,649 who said, "I'm not allowed to give you this. Take that." 554 00:26:57,649 --> 00:27:01,809 Which was an envelope, on my first day on The Crown, which 555 00:27:01,809 --> 00:27:04,369 was about the stamp thing. Yes. 556 00:27:04,369 --> 00:27:07,169 There was an envelope on the desk that had... 557 00:27:07,169 --> 00:27:09,409 It was to Her Majesty the Queen, and it had my face on the 558 00:27:09,409 --> 00:27:10,689 stamp and I went... 559 00:27:10,689 --> 00:27:12,009 SHE GASPS 560 00:27:12,009 --> 00:27:13,889 They went, "Put in your bag." 561 00:27:13,889 --> 00:27:17,569 So I have it. Here it is. Here is a picture of Olivia. 562 00:27:17,569 --> 00:27:20,169 How great is that? Whoa! That is cool! 563 00:27:20,169 --> 00:27:21,969 That is a very cool thing. 564 00:27:23,489 --> 00:27:26,929 Can I have one? I only got one. Aw. 565 00:27:26,929 --> 00:27:29,729 I'll give you a photocopy of it. Is that the size of a stamp? 566 00:27:29,729 --> 00:27:31,849 Is that a big blow-up, so it's tiny? 567 00:27:31,849 --> 00:27:33,689 Yes. No, it's that big, yes. 568 00:27:33,689 --> 00:27:37,889 Oh, it's less impressive now! It's still great. Let's move on. 569 00:27:37,889 --> 00:27:41,649 Romesh Ranganathan has returned to stand-up. Yes. 570 00:27:41,649 --> 00:27:43,409 CHEERING 571 00:27:43,409 --> 00:27:46,289 Netflix Special, The Cynic, is streaming now. 572 00:27:46,289 --> 00:27:48,809 This is your first stand-up in a while. 573 00:27:48,809 --> 00:27:54,529 Yes, I sort of had a special out years ago, Irrational, 574 00:27:54,529 --> 00:27:57,969 and then I started doing this tour that we filmed for this. 575 00:27:57,969 --> 00:28:02,449 Started it in 2019 but then obviously Covid happened 576 00:28:02,449 --> 00:28:06,409 so we weren't able to perform, do any live shows, for two years. 577 00:28:06,409 --> 00:28:07,969 So the tour got postponed. 578 00:28:07,969 --> 00:28:11,769 So it just made the process of me touring so much longer. 579 00:28:11,769 --> 00:28:15,049 So, it's been a long time since I've had a special out. Yes. 580 00:28:15,049 --> 00:28:17,449 And it's not just Covid that happened. 581 00:28:17,449 --> 00:28:19,369 Here's a clip from The Cynic. 582 00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:22,569 Stand-up has become more frightening. 583 00:28:22,569 --> 00:28:24,169 Do you know what I mean? 584 00:28:24,169 --> 00:28:25,569 Post-Will Smith. 585 00:28:25,569 --> 00:28:27,329 LAUGHTER 586 00:28:30,929 --> 00:28:32,529 Slightly trickier. 587 00:28:32,529 --> 00:28:34,929 You don't know if a dickhead's going to come up and have a go. 588 00:28:34,929 --> 00:28:36,449 Do you know what I mean? 589 00:28:36,449 --> 00:28:38,689 People talk about racial equality at the Oscars. 590 00:28:38,689 --> 00:28:42,049 Does it get much more racially equal than a black guy being allowed 591 00:28:42,049 --> 00:28:45,329 to stand up, slap the shit out of somebody, 592 00:28:45,329 --> 00:28:47,769 then sit down and wait to collect his Oscar? 593 00:28:47,769 --> 00:28:49,369 I mean... LAUGHTER 594 00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:53,409 I genuinely think the organisers of the Oscars are so white, 595 00:28:53,409 --> 00:28:55,049 they were just sat there going, 596 00:28:55,049 --> 00:28:57,289 "Maybe that's how they behave. Maybe that's..." 597 00:28:57,289 --> 00:28:59,529 LAUGHTER 598 00:28:59,529 --> 00:29:01,569 "Don't want to impinge on their culture." 599 00:29:02,809 --> 00:29:04,809 APPLAUSE Very good. 600 00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,609 Actually, we were talking earlier, 601 00:29:11,609 --> 00:29:13,209 so you must have been at that Oscars. 602 00:29:13,209 --> 00:29:14,769 Yeah. Did you notice it happening? 603 00:29:14,769 --> 00:29:17,049 No. I've talked to other people and they didn't know what was going on. 604 00:29:17,049 --> 00:29:19,489 I was in the bar. LAUGHTER 605 00:29:19,489 --> 00:29:22,089 Oscars history, and I was in the bar. 606 00:29:22,089 --> 00:29:24,449 We came back. There was a whole load of us. We came back 607 00:29:24,449 --> 00:29:27,169 and there was a really weird atmosphere and went... 608 00:29:27,169 --> 00:29:28,969 "What? What happened?" 609 00:29:28,969 --> 00:29:30,809 "Google it. Google it." 610 00:29:30,809 --> 00:29:33,449 Couldn't believe it. We spent the rest of the Oscars going, 611 00:29:33,449 --> 00:29:35,689 "Fucking hell, can't believe we missed that." 612 00:29:35,689 --> 00:29:37,729 LAUGHTER 613 00:29:37,729 --> 00:29:41,409 Listen, we must also mention you've got a new Sky sitcom, 614 00:29:41,409 --> 00:29:43,769 the Romantic Getaway, which starts tomorrow, 615 00:29:43,769 --> 00:29:47,249 New Year's Day on Sky Max and Now. 616 00:29:47,249 --> 00:29:51,329 This is you and Katherine Ryan and Johnny Vegas, 617 00:29:51,329 --> 00:29:53,569 and it's a great premise for a show. 618 00:29:53,569 --> 00:29:57,249 Well, me and Ben Green had come up with a show. 619 00:29:57,249 --> 00:30:01,249 We had this idea of... Basically the idea is that Katherine and I 620 00:30:01,249 --> 00:30:05,129 are a couple and we are trying for a baby through IVF 621 00:30:05,129 --> 00:30:09,529 and we've tried a round of it and we've not been successful. 622 00:30:09,529 --> 00:30:12,049 But we can't afford to go through more rounds 623 00:30:12,049 --> 00:30:14,689 cos it's quite expensive, and so we decide to rob our work. 624 00:30:14,689 --> 00:30:16,849 We just decide to steal a load of money from work. 625 00:30:16,849 --> 00:30:18,769 Johnny Vegas plays our boss, 626 00:30:18,769 --> 00:30:21,809 so the very beginning of the first episode is us 627 00:30:21,809 --> 00:30:24,969 just having committed the crime, and then the series 628 00:30:24,969 --> 00:30:27,889 is sort of how it plays out from there, 629 00:30:27,889 --> 00:30:30,529 so that was kind of the hook for the show. 630 00:30:30,529 --> 00:30:32,969 So, it was... I've never written anything where... 631 00:30:32,969 --> 00:30:34,809 You know, I've written sitcoms before, 632 00:30:34,809 --> 00:30:36,329 where it's kind of quite gentle 633 00:30:36,329 --> 00:30:38,649 and you just have kind of funny scenarios - 634 00:30:38,649 --> 00:30:41,209 I've never written something that's so driven by plot. 635 00:30:41,209 --> 00:30:43,609 So, those two things kind of butt up against each other. 636 00:30:43,609 --> 00:30:44,929 You want it to be funny, 637 00:30:44,929 --> 00:30:48,369 but also you want to drive this kind of twisty story through it. 638 00:30:48,369 --> 00:30:49,849 It was amazing. 639 00:30:49,849 --> 00:30:53,009 And there was no need for an intimacy coordinator 640 00:30:53,009 --> 00:30:54,289 with you and Katherine? 641 00:30:54,289 --> 00:30:56,529 No, because... 642 00:30:56,529 --> 00:30:58,169 LAUGHTER 643 00:30:58,169 --> 00:31:01,089 Basically, Katherine made it very clear 644 00:31:01,089 --> 00:31:04,369 there was going to be no touching. Like, from the very beginning. 645 00:31:04,369 --> 00:31:07,289 I think it almost was a deal-breaker of hers. She said... 646 00:31:07,289 --> 00:31:09,529 AS KATHERINE: "I think we're the sort of couple 647 00:31:09,529 --> 00:31:12,809 "that don't ever touch each other. Like, never. 648 00:31:12,809 --> 00:31:15,809 "Don't kiss, don't hold hands." Just, like, completely... 649 00:31:15,809 --> 00:31:18,289 You can see why I didn't get this audition. 650 00:31:18,289 --> 00:31:20,769 I was... I was thinking it. We were all thinking it! 651 00:31:20,769 --> 00:31:22,369 No, no, no, I was there. 652 00:31:22,369 --> 00:31:24,769 It was right in front of my eyes, I could see it. 653 00:31:24,769 --> 00:31:27,169 She was very adamant that we weren't to touch at all. 654 00:31:27,169 --> 00:31:28,929 She kept saying to me, you know, 655 00:31:28,929 --> 00:31:31,689 "I just think, you're Romesh and I'm Katherine, 656 00:31:31,689 --> 00:31:34,089 "and I don't think people want to see us kiss," 657 00:31:34,089 --> 00:31:35,369 and what she meant was, 658 00:31:35,369 --> 00:31:38,169 "I don't want to kiss you." That was the truth of it. 659 00:31:38,169 --> 00:31:40,849 So, if you're hoping to see Katherine and I getting... 660 00:31:40,849 --> 00:31:42,969 I think there's a 45-second scene 661 00:31:42,969 --> 00:31:46,569 where she's leaning her head against my shoulder while we're on the sofa, 662 00:31:46,569 --> 00:31:49,369 that's as hot as it gets, basically. Very good! 663 00:31:49,369 --> 00:31:50,969 APPLAUSE Good luck with that - 664 00:31:50,969 --> 00:31:54,009 and a reminder that The Cynic is streaming now on Netflix. 665 00:31:54,009 --> 00:31:58,489 OK, right, it is time to move on. 666 00:31:58,489 --> 00:32:02,169 My next guest provided a feel-good highlight of 2022, 667 00:32:02,169 --> 00:32:06,369 when she captained England's Lionesses to victory in the Euros. 668 00:32:06,369 --> 00:32:09,009 Please welcome Leah Williamson! 669 00:32:09,009 --> 00:32:11,729 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 670 00:32:11,729 --> 00:32:13,409 Woo! 671 00:32:13,409 --> 00:32:15,209 Hello! Hello! 672 00:32:15,209 --> 00:32:17,369 So lovely to see you. Mwah, mwah. 673 00:32:17,369 --> 00:32:19,089 Have a seat, do! 674 00:32:19,089 --> 00:32:21,089 There you go. 675 00:32:21,089 --> 00:32:25,049 Oh! Now, I don't know - have you met any of these people before? 676 00:32:25,049 --> 00:32:27,489 Met her last night. Oh, you've met, OK. Ah! 677 00:32:27,489 --> 00:32:30,289 Not like that, no, we just met last night. No... 678 00:32:30,289 --> 00:32:32,129 Sit down, sit down! It's like 679 00:32:32,129 --> 00:32:34,849 we're awkward at a party, we're all just... 680 00:32:35,889 --> 00:32:39,049 So, you've met before in life? Yes. Just literally last night. 681 00:32:39,049 --> 00:32:42,409 Well, a few nights ago, because it's New Year's. 682 00:32:42,409 --> 00:32:43,929 Oh, yeah. AGES ago. 683 00:32:43,929 --> 00:32:47,449 A couple of months ago. Yeah! You met ages ago. 684 00:32:47,449 --> 00:32:52,609 It was at the GQ Men Of The Year Awards, and Leah got an honouree. 685 00:32:52,609 --> 00:32:56,369 I did, yeah. And then we danced the night away. Yeah! 686 00:32:56,369 --> 00:32:59,809 Basically. It was a great night. Whoo! Yeah, good, really nice. 687 00:32:59,809 --> 00:33:01,009 Were you there, Hugh? 688 00:33:01,009 --> 00:33:02,529 I was not. No. 689 00:33:02,529 --> 00:33:04,129 Not this year, no, no. 690 00:33:04,129 --> 00:33:06,529 No, nor I. Romesh, were you there this year? 691 00:33:06,529 --> 00:33:08,809 No, I didn't even know that was a thing. 692 00:33:10,009 --> 00:33:12,209 It was great, it was great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 693 00:33:12,209 --> 00:33:14,969 And I'm an Arsenal fan, so... You are an Arsenal fan? 694 00:33:14,969 --> 00:33:16,849 Massive, yeah. Yeah, yeah, massive Arsenal fan. 695 00:33:16,849 --> 00:33:18,129 Arsenal fan? Yes. 696 00:33:18,129 --> 00:33:19,809 LAUGHTER No, seriously! I am, yeah. 697 00:33:19,809 --> 00:33:21,849 Oh, are you really? I am, yeah, I am. Absolutely. 698 00:33:21,849 --> 00:33:23,449 I didn't know. I can befriend you. 699 00:33:23,449 --> 00:33:26,609 How come you didn't shake MY hand when I said I was an Arsenal fan? 700 00:33:26,609 --> 00:33:28,249 You didn't offer it. 701 00:33:28,249 --> 00:33:31,369 No, it's all right... Yeah, Arsenal, man! There we go! 702 00:33:31,369 --> 00:33:33,929 Intimacy coordinator, well done. Very good. 703 00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,609 You know what you're doing. 704 00:33:35,609 --> 00:33:38,209 Now, look, it hasn't been the greatest of years, 705 00:33:38,209 --> 00:33:41,249 so a huge thank you to you, Leah, for cheering the nation up. 706 00:33:41,249 --> 00:33:42,969 Yeah. AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo! 707 00:33:42,969 --> 00:33:45,049 I know! APPLAUSE 708 00:33:48,169 --> 00:33:51,409 Winning the Euros, so, that amazing night, you win, 709 00:33:51,409 --> 00:33:53,689 and because we are so bred for disappointment, 710 00:33:53,689 --> 00:33:56,089 even when you got to the final, people were sort of thinking, 711 00:33:56,089 --> 00:34:00,089 "Yeah, but they won't win it. They'll come second, right?" 712 00:34:00,089 --> 00:34:03,249 Yeah. So, the tension - you are the captain, 713 00:34:03,249 --> 00:34:05,849 what are you saying in the dressing room? 714 00:34:05,849 --> 00:34:09,729 What is your pep talk to the team right before you go out? 715 00:34:09,729 --> 00:34:13,769 So, I did the music throughout the tournament, so, pre-match, 716 00:34:13,769 --> 00:34:15,609 on the bus, in the changing room, 717 00:34:15,609 --> 00:34:17,649 so I just let that do the talking, really. 718 00:34:17,649 --> 00:34:20,249 I didn't say anything. I can't claim any... You did the playlist? 719 00:34:20,249 --> 00:34:21,889 Yeah, yeah. Oh, cool! Yeah. 720 00:34:21,889 --> 00:34:25,609 So, what should we listen to to win? What do winners listen to? 721 00:34:25,609 --> 00:34:30,169 Oh, it's a real range, actually, but one of the main songs 722 00:34:30,169 --> 00:34:31,849 that, you know, timing's everything, 723 00:34:31,849 --> 00:34:34,289 wait till the most people are in the changing room, 724 00:34:34,289 --> 00:34:35,729 we had ABBA, Does Your Mother Know? 725 00:34:35,729 --> 00:34:39,209 Which is surprising... Can you sing it? ..like, the gasp from everybody! 726 00:34:39,209 --> 00:34:41,169 LAUGHTER Can I sing it? Yeah. 727 00:34:41,169 --> 00:34:42,689 Um, no. 728 00:34:42,689 --> 00:34:45,169 I'm a footballer, not a singer, not a singer. 729 00:34:45,169 --> 00:34:47,409 But - and you didn't say anything? 730 00:34:47,409 --> 00:34:49,689 I think I might have said, "Come on, girls!" 731 00:34:49,689 --> 00:34:51,129 LAUGHTER 732 00:34:51,129 --> 00:34:54,209 Something along those lines. It's not like the movies, is it? 733 00:34:54,209 --> 00:34:57,769 When they make the movie of this, you will say something. 734 00:34:57,769 --> 00:35:00,209 Not, "Good luck, girls!" 735 00:35:01,289 --> 00:35:04,489 No, no, it was low-key. It was low-key. Everybody was ready. 736 00:35:04,489 --> 00:35:06,969 Was that because you didn't want to kind of hype people up 737 00:35:06,969 --> 00:35:09,089 and get them too overexcited? I think so. 738 00:35:09,089 --> 00:35:13,089 I think, when you get to that stage, I know it's the most important game, 739 00:35:13,089 --> 00:35:17,169 but it almost - you have to strip it all away and just be like... 740 00:35:17,169 --> 00:35:20,289 We've given our lives to get to this one moment, 741 00:35:20,289 --> 00:35:22,209 why would we go out and not enjoy it? 742 00:35:22,209 --> 00:35:24,689 Yeah. So, more about that than anything else. 743 00:35:24,689 --> 00:35:27,329 And I guess it's that thing, because it's the thing you dream, 744 00:35:27,329 --> 00:35:30,369 you went into this contest dreaming of winning it... Yeah. 745 00:35:30,369 --> 00:35:32,209 ..and then you did, 746 00:35:32,209 --> 00:35:35,209 was it what you'd hoped, did it feel the way you hoped it would? 747 00:35:35,209 --> 00:35:37,249 Everything and more. Honestly. 748 00:35:37,249 --> 00:35:40,889 I hope I never, ever lose that feeling. 749 00:35:40,889 --> 00:35:43,929 Like, I want to relive it. I relive it over and over. 750 00:35:43,929 --> 00:35:45,729 You're making me emotional! 751 00:35:45,729 --> 00:35:47,809 No, I was bawling on the pitch, 752 00:35:47,809 --> 00:35:50,889 so I don't even want to get too deep in case I go back to that. 753 00:35:50,889 --> 00:35:53,729 My brother says I have the ugliest crying face ever, so... 754 00:35:53,729 --> 00:35:55,969 LAUGHTER That's nice of him! 755 00:35:55,969 --> 00:35:58,969 The loveliest thing about your story, Leah, is that, in a way, 756 00:35:58,969 --> 00:36:02,009 you are kind of living your mother's dream. Is that right? 757 00:36:02,009 --> 00:36:03,489 Yeah, I'd say so. 758 00:36:03,489 --> 00:36:07,529 She'd never say that out loud, she's way too hard-faced for that, 759 00:36:07,529 --> 00:36:10,169 but she started out playing football, she played everything, 760 00:36:10,169 --> 00:36:12,969 she's one of those annoying people that's just good at everything. 761 00:36:12,969 --> 00:36:14,689 Yeah. But, yeah, she used to play football, 762 00:36:14,689 --> 00:36:18,609 and, you know, I'm now following in those footsteps. 763 00:36:18,609 --> 00:36:21,929 But when she was a little girl, it wasn't that easy. No, no, no. 764 00:36:21,929 --> 00:36:24,569 She had to pretend to be a boy, 765 00:36:24,569 --> 00:36:27,049 so she would sign into a team under a boy's name, 766 00:36:27,049 --> 00:36:30,809 and eventually, because the girl was good, a parent would rat her out, 767 00:36:30,809 --> 00:36:34,729 or, you know, tell tales, and... Wow. ..she'd be banned, 768 00:36:34,729 --> 00:36:37,369 so then she'd have to either find a new team, or... 769 00:36:37,369 --> 00:36:39,769 I don't know, I've never asked the next part of the story, 770 00:36:39,769 --> 00:36:41,649 we leave it at that bit, which is... Yeah. 771 00:36:41,649 --> 00:36:43,889 Well, we've got a picture of her as a little girl. 772 00:36:43,889 --> 00:36:45,489 She's going to hate me! 773 00:36:45,489 --> 00:36:49,089 But, like, it is convincing, little boy. You can imagine that... 774 00:36:49,089 --> 00:36:51,289 LAUGHTER 775 00:36:51,289 --> 00:36:53,849 She got a perm... Well, it is, isn't it? 776 00:36:53,849 --> 00:36:57,049 No, because you're kind of thinking, "Were the little boys idiots?" 777 00:36:57,049 --> 00:36:58,889 But, yeah, that's convincing. 778 00:36:58,889 --> 00:37:00,969 Yeah, well, she kept her hair short, 779 00:37:00,969 --> 00:37:03,609 she was, you know, what we'd call a tomboy. Yeah. 780 00:37:03,609 --> 00:37:06,489 She literally did everything, all sports, always doing something. 781 00:37:06,489 --> 00:37:11,089 So, it fit. Because - when was the ban on women's football lifted? 782 00:37:11,089 --> 00:37:12,929 1971. 783 00:37:12,929 --> 00:37:15,369 I think. That is nuts, isn't it? Or '72. 784 00:37:15,369 --> 00:37:17,409 So, before that, I mean, obviously, 785 00:37:17,409 --> 00:37:19,849 little girls could kick a ball in a garden, 786 00:37:19,849 --> 00:37:22,689 but they couldn't play league or anything like that. Yeah, it was... 787 00:37:22,689 --> 00:37:26,329 Forgive my ignorance, a ban... Yeah. ..on women playing football? 788 00:37:26,329 --> 00:37:29,609 Yeah, so, during the war, the First World War, 789 00:37:29,609 --> 00:37:32,649 the women started playing, and they were really, really successful... 790 00:37:32,649 --> 00:37:34,849 Didn't they have as many spectators as the men's games? 791 00:37:34,849 --> 00:37:36,489 Yeah, 100,000 people... I'd heard this. 792 00:37:36,489 --> 00:37:39,489 Yeah - Dick, Kerr Ladies. Incredible. What happened? 793 00:37:39,489 --> 00:37:41,769 Yeah, so, basically, when the men got back... 794 00:37:41,769 --> 00:37:45,009 Would we call it jealousy, or they were a little bit threatened, 795 00:37:45,009 --> 00:37:47,449 that maybe the women's would be such a success, 796 00:37:47,449 --> 00:37:50,329 so the FA decided to ban it. Ban? Ban it. 797 00:37:50,329 --> 00:37:52,689 And 50 years, it was in place. That's amazing. 798 00:37:52,689 --> 00:37:54,169 You should make a movie about it. 799 00:37:54,169 --> 00:37:56,209 Yeah, but I'd have to play a very old coach. 800 00:37:56,209 --> 00:37:58,209 LAUGHTER 801 00:38:00,169 --> 00:38:01,889 Run around... 802 00:38:01,889 --> 00:38:03,529 I'll do that for you. 803 00:38:03,529 --> 00:38:05,209 Thank you! It's a deal. 804 00:38:05,209 --> 00:38:07,809 Also, because the thing is, so, being a footballer, 805 00:38:07,809 --> 00:38:10,209 it's lots of people's dream, but it was YOUR dream, Micheal. 806 00:38:10,209 --> 00:38:12,849 You wanted to be a footballer. Yes, I did. Yeah! 807 00:38:12,849 --> 00:38:16,089 But a lot of people did, and, you know, it's... It's fine. 808 00:38:16,089 --> 00:38:18,129 Basically, yes, I did want to be a footballer. 809 00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,889 I'm over it, I'm over it! Yes, I'm over it. 810 00:38:19,889 --> 00:38:23,689 I basically just realised, it came to me when I was 16 years old 811 00:38:23,689 --> 00:38:27,289 and I just realised, you know, I am not going to be the best at this, 812 00:38:27,289 --> 00:38:29,689 and I just like to feel like, you know, 813 00:38:29,689 --> 00:38:32,809 I'm the best at what I do, you know? Yeah. My friend's actually here 814 00:38:32,809 --> 00:38:34,929 who's a professional footballer, as well, 815 00:38:34,929 --> 00:38:38,009 so I have been living my dream, you know, vicariously through him. 816 00:38:38,009 --> 00:38:39,289 His name is Rhian Brewster. 817 00:38:39,289 --> 00:38:41,689 He used to play for Liverpool, now he plays for Sheffield. 818 00:38:41,689 --> 00:38:43,929 APPLAUSE But he's injured at the moment. 819 00:38:47,169 --> 00:38:50,249 There he is! So, he's hopping around with crutches just to be here. 820 00:38:50,249 --> 00:38:53,049 No, no, can I just say, he MUST be a successful footballer, 821 00:38:53,049 --> 00:38:55,889 cos I saw him backstage, and I thought, "I recognise him!" 822 00:38:55,889 --> 00:38:57,969 Yeah, that's famous. 823 00:38:57,969 --> 00:38:59,809 If I know who they are, yeah. 824 00:38:59,809 --> 00:39:02,889 So, it's great that, you know, kind of from an early age, 825 00:39:02,889 --> 00:39:05,849 cos he was playing for Chelsea from very young, 826 00:39:05,849 --> 00:39:08,089 he started playing for Liverpool from very young, 827 00:39:08,089 --> 00:39:11,409 so I kind of was just living that dream through him immediately, 828 00:39:11,409 --> 00:39:15,849 you know? Then I just decided to go into modelling and then acting. 829 00:39:15,849 --> 00:39:19,049 Yeah. So, I'm happy I'm here. Look at you now. Yeah! Yeah. 830 00:39:19,049 --> 00:39:22,329 He's sat there insured, not doing anything. Yeah! 831 00:39:22,329 --> 00:39:24,489 Screw him! Screw him! 832 00:39:24,489 --> 00:39:29,529 Actually, football, then, it sort of, did it...it ended your career? 833 00:39:29,529 --> 00:39:33,289 Yeah, well, I used to be a teacher before I did stand-up, 834 00:39:33,289 --> 00:39:36,329 and I was head of sixth form for a while, 835 00:39:36,329 --> 00:39:42,689 and every year we would do a sixth form versus teachers football match, 836 00:39:42,689 --> 00:39:46,649 and I would describe my levels of coordination as subhuman. 837 00:39:46,649 --> 00:39:47,929 LAUGHTER 838 00:39:47,929 --> 00:39:50,769 So, what happened was, is that they said to me, like, 839 00:39:50,769 --> 00:39:53,769 "You're the head of sixth form, can you play in the game?" 840 00:39:53,769 --> 00:39:58,329 I said, "Look, I'm so bad, man, it's like... I just don't want to." 841 00:39:58,329 --> 00:40:01,209 As they said, "Look, come on, just be a sub, 842 00:40:01,209 --> 00:40:03,569 "and you don't have to come on, but it just shows 843 00:40:03,569 --> 00:40:05,809 "that you're taking part and being part of the thing," 844 00:40:05,809 --> 00:40:07,969 so I said, "Look, OK, I'll be a sub," 845 00:40:07,969 --> 00:40:11,089 so I sat, you know, even in the kit I looked horrendous, 846 00:40:11,089 --> 00:40:14,089 and I sat by the side of the pitch, the game was going back and forth, 847 00:40:14,089 --> 00:40:15,689 it was like a good game, 848 00:40:15,689 --> 00:40:19,809 and then I think we were, like, 1-0 down or something, 849 00:40:19,809 --> 00:40:23,049 maybe 2-1 down or something, and the guy playing up front, 850 00:40:23,049 --> 00:40:27,369 the PE teacher, he went off injured, and I was like, "Oh, no." 851 00:40:27,369 --> 00:40:30,409 I was just like, "How has there been an injury 852 00:40:30,409 --> 00:40:32,769 "in a staff versus sixth formers game?" 853 00:40:32,769 --> 00:40:34,529 Didn't even think this could happen. 854 00:40:34,529 --> 00:40:36,809 He was like, "Come on, Rang-ers, come on, come on!" 855 00:40:36,809 --> 00:40:40,409 So, I went on and I was just like, "Oh, please, let this be over." 856 00:40:40,409 --> 00:40:42,289 I was just like, "It's so horrible." 857 00:40:42,289 --> 00:40:44,809 And, like, they all - it was such a big event at the school, 858 00:40:44,809 --> 00:40:48,889 there's so many, like, parents, kids, like, loads of people there. 859 00:40:48,889 --> 00:40:51,089 Basically, we were sort of - I just thought, 860 00:40:51,089 --> 00:40:53,289 "Let me just get this done and I can just leave, 861 00:40:53,289 --> 00:40:55,049 "and hopefully it'll be all right," 862 00:40:55,049 --> 00:40:58,209 and then one of the other PE staff was, like, tearing up the wing, 863 00:40:58,209 --> 00:41:00,769 and I was up front, so, I came on upfront, 864 00:41:00,769 --> 00:41:02,169 and I was, like, in the box, 865 00:41:02,169 --> 00:41:03,969 and they just left me completely unmarked, 866 00:41:03,969 --> 00:41:06,729 cos essentially it's like you've got a wildebeest playing, 867 00:41:06,729 --> 00:41:09,089 you don't need to mark them, do you know what I mean? 868 00:41:09,089 --> 00:41:11,929 Then suddenly I was just there, completely unmarked, 869 00:41:11,929 --> 00:41:16,849 and the teacher crossed into me, and I was like two yards out, 870 00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:18,929 and as the ball came into me, 871 00:41:18,929 --> 00:41:21,889 I just thought, "What are you going to do to celebrate?" 872 00:41:23,169 --> 00:41:24,409 Wow. 873 00:41:24,409 --> 00:41:27,049 And then I spannered it so far over the goal, 874 00:41:27,049 --> 00:41:29,889 it was more difficult to miss than score. 875 00:41:29,889 --> 00:41:33,969 And then the chants, I will never forget it. Oh, no! 876 00:41:33,969 --> 00:41:37,409 "Rang-ers is rubbish! Rang-ers is rubbish! 877 00:41:37,409 --> 00:41:40,729 "You don't know what you're doing! Get out of sixth form!" 878 00:41:40,729 --> 00:41:42,489 And I did, shortly after. 879 00:41:42,489 --> 00:41:44,449 APPLAUSE 880 00:41:48,169 --> 00:41:50,809 Hugh Laurie, you may not remember this, 881 00:41:50,809 --> 00:41:53,049 but back in the Fry And Laurie days, 882 00:41:53,049 --> 00:41:56,369 you did a great sketch about a kids' football coach. 883 00:41:56,369 --> 00:41:57,689 Do you remember this? 884 00:41:57,689 --> 00:42:00,769 Oh, the teaching kids how to...? 885 00:42:00,769 --> 00:42:02,809 Yeah. Yeah! We've got it, we've got it. 886 00:42:02,809 --> 00:42:04,809 Oh, good. Let's... Here is Hugh Laurie 887 00:42:04,809 --> 00:42:06,929 teaching children how to play football. 888 00:42:06,929 --> 00:42:09,409 Right, now, listen! 889 00:42:09,409 --> 00:42:13,129 OK, now, football is a very simple game. What is it? 890 00:42:13,129 --> 00:42:14,609 ALL: A very simple game. 891 00:42:14,609 --> 00:42:17,609 Right, now, what is the object of the game of football? 892 00:42:17,609 --> 00:42:19,689 To run into the box and fall over. 893 00:42:19,689 --> 00:42:21,969 Run into the box and fall over. 894 00:42:21,969 --> 00:42:23,649 OK, let's try that now. 895 00:42:23,649 --> 00:42:25,409 One at a time. Ricky, off you go. 896 00:42:25,409 --> 00:42:26,409 BLOWS WHISTLE 897 00:42:28,449 --> 00:42:30,209 What I'm really trying to do here 898 00:42:30,209 --> 00:42:32,649 is to teach fundamental footballing skills 899 00:42:32,649 --> 00:42:34,289 at the earliest possible age. 900 00:42:34,289 --> 00:42:36,609 I've actually started teaching my eight-month-old son, 901 00:42:36,609 --> 00:42:38,529 and I've got to say, he's a natural. 902 00:42:38,529 --> 00:42:40,329 Falls over like a diamond. 903 00:42:41,529 --> 00:42:43,009 Now, listen. 904 00:42:43,009 --> 00:42:46,889 A lot of you, as you go, are not getting your head back, OK? 905 00:42:46,889 --> 00:42:48,529 Nice and loose in the neck. 906 00:42:48,529 --> 00:42:51,809 As you get into the box, a lot of height, goes like this, OK? 907 00:42:54,369 --> 00:42:57,449 And roll, and roll. OK? There we go. 908 00:42:57,449 --> 00:42:59,929 Same applies for the static fall, right? 909 00:42:59,929 --> 00:43:02,729 That's when you run into the box, you've forgotten to fall over, 910 00:43:02,729 --> 00:43:04,369 you're just standing there, OK? 911 00:43:04,369 --> 00:43:06,009 Nice and loose in the neck, and... 912 00:43:07,409 --> 00:43:09,049 All right? 913 00:43:09,049 --> 00:43:12,249 OK, then, limping. Two lengths of the pitch, go. 914 00:43:14,689 --> 00:43:16,569 APPLAUSE 915 00:43:16,569 --> 00:43:18,929 Those falls are amazing. 916 00:43:18,929 --> 00:43:21,369 They're so committed, as well! 917 00:43:24,009 --> 00:43:25,769 Really good falls! 918 00:43:25,769 --> 00:43:28,609 Now, here's the thing, Leah, here you are, 919 00:43:28,609 --> 00:43:31,769 you've brought women's football to a whole new level. 920 00:43:31,769 --> 00:43:33,889 What do you think is going to happen now? 921 00:43:33,889 --> 00:43:37,049 Like, the next generation, is it going to keep growing? 922 00:43:37,049 --> 00:43:39,329 Do you believe there will be a moment when, you know, 923 00:43:39,329 --> 00:43:41,729 women's football are getting the same financial rewards 924 00:43:41,729 --> 00:43:43,849 that the men are and all that sort of stuff? 925 00:43:43,849 --> 00:43:46,809 If we're being realistic, you need the same amount of people 926 00:43:46,809 --> 00:43:50,849 that come through the gates at the men's games to come through ours, 927 00:43:50,849 --> 00:43:54,129 so the more accessible we are, the more visible we are. 928 00:43:54,129 --> 00:43:57,129 I hope, now, normally you see a bit of a rise off of a tournament, 929 00:43:57,129 --> 00:43:58,569 but this feels sustainable. 930 00:43:58,569 --> 00:44:00,609 This feels like people are really interested, 931 00:44:00,609 --> 00:44:03,449 and genuinely - I think it's like eight million new fans 932 00:44:03,449 --> 00:44:06,289 have said that they have taken an interest in the game 933 00:44:06,289 --> 00:44:09,489 over the last year. And more women's games are being televised now. 934 00:44:09,489 --> 00:44:11,089 Yeah, it's always on TV. 935 00:44:11,089 --> 00:44:13,609 You know, when I was younger, the only game that was on telly, 936 00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:16,129 and I made sure I watched it every year, was the FA Cup Final, 937 00:44:16,129 --> 00:44:17,249 the women's FA Cup Final, 938 00:44:17,249 --> 00:44:19,889 but that was the only one that you could watch on the television. 939 00:44:19,889 --> 00:44:22,609 So, now, you have a game every weekend, 940 00:44:22,609 --> 00:44:25,169 big stadium, you know, we're playing in the men's stadiums, 941 00:44:25,169 --> 00:44:29,049 that allows 50,000, 90,000 people to walk through the door - 942 00:44:29,049 --> 00:44:31,569 and they come, so, we are proving a point. 943 00:44:31,569 --> 00:44:33,769 Yeah, and, like, it will follow, won't it? 944 00:44:33,769 --> 00:44:35,969 People will see that number of people and kind of think, 945 00:44:35,969 --> 00:44:37,369 "Oh, let's sponsor that." Yeah. 946 00:44:37,369 --> 00:44:40,209 "That looks like a good time." Yeah. "We'll go there, as well." Yeah. 947 00:44:40,209 --> 00:44:41,769 And this is phenomenal - the Lionesses, 948 00:44:41,769 --> 00:44:43,489 you finished the year unbeaten. 949 00:44:43,489 --> 00:44:45,409 Yeah. Yeah, congratulations on that. 950 00:44:45,409 --> 00:44:47,089 APPLAUSE 951 00:44:49,569 --> 00:44:52,409 But, of course, next year, 2023, 952 00:44:52,409 --> 00:44:55,609 World Cup, Australia and New Zealand, you're off. Yeah. 953 00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:57,689 Are you the ones to beat, presumably? 954 00:44:57,689 --> 00:45:00,329 I suppose so. I think there's a few other teams, as well, 955 00:45:00,329 --> 00:45:03,369 but you win something, then you have a target on your back. So... Yeah. 956 00:45:03,369 --> 00:45:05,009 We're up there, we're up there. 957 00:45:05,009 --> 00:45:07,049 Do you have a song for that, or a pep talk at all? 958 00:45:07,049 --> 00:45:08,649 "Come on, girls!" 959 00:45:08,649 --> 00:45:10,489 Maybe it'll work again! 960 00:45:10,489 --> 00:45:12,289 "Remember what I said. Come on!" 961 00:45:13,569 --> 00:45:16,169 I'll work on it. I've got a year, I've got a year. 962 00:45:16,169 --> 00:45:17,689 Yeah, if you want the movie deal - 963 00:45:17,689 --> 00:45:19,649 no-one's buying tickets for, "Come on." 964 00:45:19,649 --> 00:45:21,689 Bring me back next year, I'll tell you in person! 965 00:45:21,689 --> 00:45:23,689 You'll be like, "Yes, come on, da-da-da." 966 00:45:23,689 --> 00:45:25,729 Well, listen, good luck with that... Thank you. 967 00:45:25,729 --> 00:45:28,849 ..and thank you so much for bringing joy into a pretty bleak 2022. 968 00:45:28,849 --> 00:45:30,529 Leah Williamson, everybody! 969 00:45:30,529 --> 00:45:32,129 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 970 00:45:34,209 --> 00:45:35,649 Very good. 971 00:45:35,649 --> 00:45:39,329 Right, it is time for a really special musical treat. 972 00:45:39,329 --> 00:45:41,489 One of the cultural hits of the year 973 00:45:41,489 --> 00:45:45,969 has been the revival of Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club in the West End. 974 00:45:45,969 --> 00:45:48,009 Now starring Callum Scott Howells as Emcee... 975 00:45:48,009 --> 00:45:49,369 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo! 976 00:45:49,369 --> 00:45:51,649 ..and Madeline Brewer as Sally Bowles. 977 00:45:51,649 --> 00:45:56,769 Please welcome the cast of Cabaret! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 978 00:45:56,769 --> 00:45:58,649 DRUM ROLL 979 00:46:04,049 --> 00:46:06,729 MUSIC: Willkommen 980 00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:14,049 # Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome! 981 00:46:15,489 --> 00:46:21,129 # Fremder, etranger, stranger 982 00:46:21,129 --> 00:46:23,409 # Glucklich zu sehen 983 00:46:23,409 --> 00:46:26,129 # Je suis enchante... # 984 00:46:26,129 --> 00:46:27,209 Oh! 985 00:46:27,209 --> 00:46:29,729 # Happy to see you 986 00:46:29,729 --> 00:46:32,929 # Bleibe, reste, stay 987 00:46:32,929 --> 00:46:37,089 # Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome! 988 00:46:37,089 --> 00:46:43,889 # Im cabaret, au cabaret, to cabaret! # 989 00:46:43,889 --> 00:46:46,969 Leave your troubles outside. 990 00:46:46,969 --> 00:46:50,609 So life is disappointing? Forget it! 991 00:46:50,609 --> 00:46:54,489 We have no troubles here. 992 00:46:54,489 --> 00:47:00,129 Here, life is beautiful. 993 00:47:00,129 --> 00:47:03,769 The girls are beautiful. 994 00:47:03,769 --> 00:47:11,129 Even the orchestra is beautiful! 995 00:47:11,129 --> 00:47:15,329 # Willkommen! Bienvenue! Welcome! 996 00:47:15,329 --> 00:47:20,689 # Im cabaret, au cabaret to cabaret! # 997 00:47:20,689 --> 00:47:26,569 And now, presenting the toast of Mayfair - 998 00:47:26,569 --> 00:47:32,849 Fraulein Sally Bowles! 999 00:47:32,849 --> 00:47:35,289 MUSIC: Don't Tell Mama 1000 00:47:36,329 --> 00:47:39,089 # Mama 1001 00:47:39,089 --> 00:47:42,009 # Thinks I'm living in a convent 1002 00:47:43,169 --> 00:47:46,049 # A secluded little convent 1003 00:47:47,449 --> 00:47:50,449 # In the southern part of France 1004 00:47:54,049 --> 00:47:56,689 # Mama 1005 00:47:56,689 --> 00:47:59,769 # Doesn't even have an inkling 1006 00:48:01,249 --> 00:48:04,049 # That I'm working in a nightclub 1007 00:48:06,769 --> 00:48:10,049 # In a pair of lacy pants 1008 00:48:14,089 --> 00:48:18,529 # So, please, sir 1009 00:48:18,529 --> 00:48:22,449 # If you run into my mama 1010 00:48:22,449 --> 00:48:26,289 # Don't reveal my indiscretion 1011 00:48:28,129 --> 00:48:33,569 # Give a working girl a chance 1012 00:48:33,569 --> 00:48:36,009 # Ha, ha, ha! 1013 00:48:36,009 --> 00:48:37,449 # Hush up 1014 00:48:37,449 --> 00:48:38,769 # Don't tell Mama 1015 00:48:38,769 --> 00:48:39,929 # Shush up 1016 00:48:39,929 --> 00:48:41,329 # Don't tell Mama 1017 00:48:41,329 --> 00:48:44,569 # Don't tell Mama, whatever you do 1018 00:48:46,009 --> 00:48:48,769 # If you had a secret 1019 00:48:48,769 --> 00:48:51,249 # You bet I would keep it 1020 00:48:51,249 --> 00:48:54,329 # I would never tell on you 1021 00:48:55,889 --> 00:48:59,649 # I'm breaking every promise that I gave her 1022 00:49:00,969 --> 00:49:05,889 # So won't you kindly do a girl a great big favour? 1023 00:49:05,889 --> 00:49:08,929 # And, please, my sweet patater 1024 00:49:08,929 --> 00:49:11,329 # Keep this from the mater 1025 00:49:11,329 --> 00:49:15,929 # Though I'm still as pure as mountain snow 1026 00:49:15,929 --> 00:49:18,769 # You can tell my papa that's all right 1027 00:49:18,769 --> 00:49:21,329 # Cos he comes in here every night 1028 00:49:21,329 --> 00:49:24,769 # But don't tell Mama what you know! 1029 00:49:26,169 --> 00:49:27,849 # You can tell my brother 1030 00:49:27,849 --> 00:49:28,929 # That ain't grim 1031 00:49:28,929 --> 00:49:31,449 # Cos if he squeals on me I'll squeal on him 1032 00:49:31,449 --> 00:49:34,209 # But don't tell Mama, bitte 1033 00:49:34,209 --> 00:49:36,729 # Don't tell Mama, please, sir 1034 00:49:36,729 --> 00:49:40,009 # Don't tell Mama what you know 1035 00:49:40,009 --> 00:49:41,089 # Shhh! 1036 00:49:42,449 --> 00:49:43,689 # Shhh! 1037 00:49:43,689 --> 00:49:45,249 # If you see my mummy 1038 00:49:45,249 --> 00:49:47,129 # Mum's the word! # 1039 00:49:47,129 --> 00:49:49,649 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1040 00:49:49,649 --> 00:49:53,609 The cast of Cabaret, the band, 1041 00:49:53,609 --> 00:49:57,249 Callum Scott Howells and Madeline Brewer! 1042 00:49:57,249 --> 00:49:59,529 How fun was that?! 1043 00:49:59,529 --> 00:50:02,609 Callum, Madeline, come on over, do! 1044 00:50:02,609 --> 00:50:04,769 Over to the sofa? Here you go! 1045 00:50:04,769 --> 00:50:07,889 Hooray! Get ready, here comes Callum Scott Howells and Madeline Brewer! 1046 00:50:09,689 --> 00:50:12,529 Beautiful. Thank you very much. 1047 00:50:12,529 --> 00:50:14,489 Thank you so much! 1048 00:50:14,489 --> 00:50:16,449 Have a seat, do. Oh, oh! 1049 00:50:16,449 --> 00:50:19,009 Oh, hats! Hats, hats for people! 1050 00:50:19,009 --> 00:50:21,089 The party's arrived. 1051 00:50:21,089 --> 00:50:23,809 They're really expensive. Why? They're very expensive. 1052 00:50:23,809 --> 00:50:25,489 I've got two here. You've got two. 1053 00:50:25,489 --> 00:50:27,409 I've got two. There you go! 1054 00:50:27,409 --> 00:50:29,849 There you go, you can have that one back. Sit, sit, sit. 1055 00:50:29,849 --> 00:50:31,569 Right... Do we HAVE to put these on? 1056 00:50:31,569 --> 00:50:33,849 No. Oh, I will! LAUGHTER 1057 00:50:33,849 --> 00:50:36,729 I like Micheal going, "Do I HAVE to put this on?" 1058 00:50:36,729 --> 00:50:38,129 I went, "No, no, you don't." 1059 00:50:38,129 --> 00:50:39,729 Thank you so much for that! 1060 00:50:39,729 --> 00:50:42,369 That's the spirit, Micheal. Yeah, there you go, there you go! 1061 00:50:42,369 --> 00:50:44,409 Happy New Year! Happy New Year. 1062 00:50:44,409 --> 00:50:46,049 Now, Madeline, how are you? 1063 00:50:46,049 --> 00:50:49,089 Because this is kind of holiday season far from home for you. 1064 00:50:49,089 --> 00:50:52,369 Yeah, my family has come in, so that's nice. 1065 00:50:52,369 --> 00:50:54,569 Is this your mother, who's been to see the show 1066 00:50:54,569 --> 00:50:57,009 about a gazillion times? Four times! She came... 1067 00:50:57,009 --> 00:51:00,529 She was here for a week and she saw the show four times. Aww. Yeah. Wow. 1068 00:51:00,529 --> 00:51:02,929 That's impressive. That's just a stage mom for you. 1069 00:51:02,929 --> 00:51:05,489 My mother... My mother is in the audience. How many times 1070 00:51:05,489 --> 00:51:07,369 have you been? And you live in Wales! 1071 00:51:07,369 --> 00:51:08,609 LAUGHTER 1072 00:51:08,609 --> 00:51:09,929 Once! Once. 1073 00:51:09,929 --> 00:51:11,849 We're getting there, we're getting there. 1074 00:51:11,849 --> 00:51:14,289 Now, Callum, I first met you on Let It Shine, 1075 00:51:14,289 --> 00:51:16,529 the Gary Barlow musical thing... Yeah. 1076 00:51:16,529 --> 00:51:18,769 ..and you love a competition, because then you were in 1077 00:51:18,769 --> 00:51:20,169 Britain's Got Talent, weren't you? 1078 00:51:20,169 --> 00:51:22,409 Yes! And you made it to the final! 1079 00:51:22,409 --> 00:51:25,169 With a choir - I wasn't on my own in Britain's Got Talent. 1080 00:51:25,169 --> 00:51:26,289 Yeah, you are in a choir. 1081 00:51:26,289 --> 00:51:28,529 You made it to the final. Yeah, yeah. Who beat you? 1082 00:51:28,529 --> 00:51:30,329 A dog. Pudsey the dog. 1083 00:51:30,329 --> 00:51:32,689 LAUGHTER Of course, of course! But very good. 1084 00:51:32,689 --> 00:51:35,009 A very good dog. Very good dog. 1085 00:51:35,009 --> 00:51:37,649 But apparently the dog's dead now. ALL: Aww. 1086 00:51:37,649 --> 00:51:39,849 Way to bring us down. You can't...! Sorry, sorry! 1087 00:51:39,849 --> 00:51:41,729 Happy New Year! Wow. 1088 00:51:41,729 --> 00:51:45,169 2022, the year that keeps on giving. LAUGHTER 1089 00:51:45,169 --> 00:51:48,129 The final moments of 2022 - "That dog's dead." 1090 00:51:50,009 --> 00:51:52,009 Oh, my God! 1091 00:51:52,009 --> 00:51:54,329 Don't cry, Olivia, don't cry. Oh...! 1092 00:51:54,329 --> 00:51:58,249 This chat is a lot darker than I thought it was going to be. 1093 00:51:58,249 --> 00:52:01,929 So, here's the thing, you're in this West End hit, 1094 00:52:01,929 --> 00:52:04,289 with the back of these amazing TV shows, 1095 00:52:04,289 --> 00:52:06,689 so, Madeline, obviously, Handmaid's Tale... 1096 00:52:06,689 --> 00:52:09,129 APPLAUSE Yes! 1097 00:52:11,569 --> 00:52:13,489 Is that winding to a close now? 1098 00:52:13,489 --> 00:52:17,649 We have one more season. We have a sixth and final season. 1099 00:52:17,649 --> 00:52:20,889 So, that will be out probably sometime in 2024. 1100 00:52:20,889 --> 00:52:22,969 Oh, so you haven't filmed that yet? No, no. 1101 00:52:22,969 --> 00:52:25,369 Do you know what's going to happen at the end? I have no idea. 1102 00:52:25,369 --> 00:52:27,529 At the end of season - spoiler, but.. 1103 00:52:27,529 --> 00:52:29,609 I mean, I'm like a cat with nine lives. 1104 00:52:29,609 --> 00:52:32,529 They just keep, like, dangling death in front of me. 1105 00:52:32,529 --> 00:52:36,129 Sorry, we're being so dark. Dangling... 1106 00:52:36,129 --> 00:52:38,929 But unlike Pudsey, you lived. ..they never deliver. 1107 00:52:38,929 --> 00:52:40,769 Oh, my God! 1108 00:52:43,049 --> 00:52:45,329 And, Callum, It's A Sin, hello! 1109 00:52:45,329 --> 00:52:47,649 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1110 00:52:48,929 --> 00:52:51,969 But, like, because your character is so lovely in that, 1111 00:52:51,969 --> 00:52:55,489 do people... I mean, do people want to kind of like hug you and things 1112 00:52:55,489 --> 00:52:56,849 when they see you? 1113 00:52:56,849 --> 00:52:59,289 It's quite funny, like, one of the first times, 1114 00:52:59,289 --> 00:53:02,569 like, it ever happened, when the show come out, like, my dog, 1115 00:53:02,569 --> 00:53:05,609 which is alive, he is alive - that's good news! 1116 00:53:05,609 --> 00:53:08,449 Yeah! APPLAUSE 1117 00:53:08,449 --> 00:53:10,729 That's not as nice as he's making out. 1118 00:53:10,729 --> 00:53:12,609 Pudsey's dead, but my dog's alive. 1119 00:53:12,609 --> 00:53:16,369 Yeah! Sorry, Pudsey. Sorry, Pudsey. 1120 00:53:16,369 --> 00:53:18,609 So, you were out with your living dog. 1121 00:53:18,609 --> 00:53:22,049 I was out with my living dog, and he was doing a poo behind a tree, 1122 00:53:22,049 --> 00:53:25,129 and some woman sort of saw me behind the tree and was like, "Colin!" 1123 00:53:25,129 --> 00:53:28,129 It was just sort of, yeah, these moments are very funny, 1124 00:53:28,129 --> 00:53:30,129 because he was doing a little poo. 1125 00:53:30,129 --> 00:53:31,769 LAUGHTER 1126 00:53:31,769 --> 00:53:33,449 Now, the two of you, 1127 00:53:33,449 --> 00:53:36,089 you've got another month to go, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. 1128 00:53:36,089 --> 00:53:38,649 But the show is booking right through till, I think, this time 1129 00:53:38,649 --> 00:53:41,129 next year? You won't see us in it then, but, you know... I know. 1130 00:53:41,129 --> 00:53:43,169 Come and see the other cast, for sure! 1131 00:53:43,169 --> 00:53:45,369 It's a brilliant show! We love... 1132 00:53:45,369 --> 00:53:49,849 Like, the show is amazing, and we feel very lucky to be a part of it. 1133 00:53:49,849 --> 00:53:52,689 Well, we feel very lucky to have seen that performance. 1134 00:53:52,689 --> 00:53:55,609 Thank you so much for coming into the studio and doing that for us. 1135 00:53:55,609 --> 00:53:57,969 A real treat. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1136 00:53:57,969 --> 00:54:01,849 Callum, Madeline and the whole cast of Cabaret! 1137 00:54:05,089 --> 00:54:06,929 Very good! 1138 00:54:06,929 --> 00:54:09,649 Right, that is nearly it, but before we go, 1139 00:54:09,649 --> 00:54:13,009 just time for a New Year's Eve visit to the big red chair. 1140 00:54:13,009 --> 00:54:14,369 Yay! Hello. Hello. 1141 00:54:14,369 --> 00:54:16,089 Hi, what's your name? Sally. 1142 00:54:16,089 --> 00:54:18,409 Sally! Lovely, Sally - and where are you from? 1143 00:54:18,409 --> 00:54:20,809 Victoria, Canada. Oh! You're from Canada. 1144 00:54:20,809 --> 00:54:22,809 Canada, oh, Canada. Canada. 1145 00:54:22,809 --> 00:54:25,009 Are you visiting here, Sally, or...? Yes. 1146 00:54:25,009 --> 00:54:26,649 Oh... Here visiting family. 1147 00:54:26,649 --> 00:54:28,489 OK, you're just on your holidays? Yes. 1148 00:54:28,489 --> 00:54:31,129 Oh, good, well, welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome. 1149 00:54:31,129 --> 00:54:32,729 Graham, you won't flip HER, will you? 1150 00:54:32,729 --> 00:54:34,809 Well, we'll see. She's... 1151 00:54:34,809 --> 00:54:37,649 She seems so sweet, you can't... Sally is lovely. 1152 00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:41,849 Yeah, but... Flipping people doesn't mean I don't like them. 1153 00:54:41,849 --> 00:54:43,849 I know, but you CAN'T flip her! 1154 00:54:45,129 --> 00:54:46,369 Sally. Yes? 1155 00:54:46,369 --> 00:54:48,169 Romesh is challenging me to flip you. 1156 00:54:49,649 --> 00:54:50,609 I hear that! 1157 00:54:50,609 --> 00:54:53,249 No, off you go with your story, Sally. 1158 00:54:53,249 --> 00:54:56,209 Well, this happened a long time ago, when I was a nursing student, 1159 00:54:56,209 --> 00:55:00,369 and I had a patient, and about a couple of weeks later 1160 00:55:00,369 --> 00:55:03,209 I was in a pub with all my friends and there was this fellow 1161 00:55:03,209 --> 00:55:05,489 who was sitting at a table with all his friends, 1162 00:55:05,489 --> 00:55:08,289 and he comes to me, "Sally! How are you?" 1163 00:55:08,289 --> 00:55:11,009 And I look at him and it doesn't click who he is, 1164 00:55:11,009 --> 00:55:13,729 and I look at him, and then I blurt out, "Oh, sorry, 1165 00:55:13,729 --> 00:55:15,969 "I didn't recognise you with your clothes on!" 1166 00:55:17,809 --> 00:55:19,449 LAUGHTER 1167 00:55:22,449 --> 00:55:24,249 Romesh gave me permission. 1168 00:55:24,249 --> 00:55:25,529 I wanted more. 1169 00:55:25,529 --> 00:55:27,449 Romesh made me do that. 1170 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:30,489 Lovely Sally - I can't believe you made me do that to Sally! 1171 00:55:30,489 --> 00:55:32,329 But that was... You can't... She's a nurse. 1172 00:55:32,329 --> 00:55:35,089 I'm sorry. She was so lovely, she's sweet. 1173 00:55:35,089 --> 00:55:37,889 No, but, you know, you're sweet, but you've got to go. 1174 00:55:37,889 --> 00:55:39,169 That was dreadful. 1175 00:55:39,169 --> 00:55:41,009 Let's have another one. Why not, why not? 1176 00:55:41,009 --> 00:55:42,809 OK, here we go. Hello! Hello. 1177 00:55:42,809 --> 00:55:44,489 Hi, what's your name? Andy. 1178 00:55:44,489 --> 00:55:48,529 Andy, OK. Andy looks keen, he's confident. Where are you from, Andy? 1179 00:55:48,529 --> 00:55:51,209 North London. North London, and what you do, Andy? 1180 00:55:51,209 --> 00:55:53,009 I'm an accountant. An accountant. 1181 00:55:53,009 --> 00:55:55,609 You see, you went for quite a dull job, there, and... 1182 00:55:55,609 --> 00:55:58,889 No sympathy for that at all. Oh, God! 1183 00:55:58,889 --> 00:56:01,569 He should have gone with charity worker, but no. 1184 00:56:01,569 --> 00:56:03,049 He went for accountant. 1185 00:56:03,049 --> 00:56:04,769 Off you go with your story, Andy. 1186 00:56:04,769 --> 00:56:08,289 OK, so, back in my younger days, when I was 17, 18, 1187 00:56:08,289 --> 00:56:12,489 we would go out quite a bit, me and my pal Mario, most of the time, 1188 00:56:12,489 --> 00:56:15,329 and we'd come back four or five o'clock in the morning. 1189 00:56:15,329 --> 00:56:19,769 And every Sunday morning Mario would always turn up at my parents' house 1190 00:56:19,769 --> 00:56:21,409 at nine o'clock in the morning, 1191 00:56:21,409 --> 00:56:23,649 and my mum or dad would open up the door, 1192 00:56:23,649 --> 00:56:26,129 he would run up the stairs, run in to my bedroom 1193 00:56:26,129 --> 00:56:29,329 and he would wake me up in the most distressful manner. 1194 00:56:29,329 --> 00:56:32,809 I mean, he would give me hits to the head, he would grab my buttocks, 1195 00:56:32,809 --> 00:56:35,849 he would say his favourite phrase, "Do you like that, Andy? 1196 00:56:35,849 --> 00:56:37,649 "You like that, don't you?" 1197 00:56:37,649 --> 00:56:41,329 Just in the most distressful manner you could imagine. 1198 00:56:41,329 --> 00:56:44,769 Anyway, one day, we go out on a Saturday night, 1199 00:56:44,769 --> 00:56:46,409 it's the usual, Sunday morning, 1200 00:56:46,409 --> 00:56:49,009 he's there, nine o'clock in the morning, 1201 00:56:49,009 --> 00:56:51,089 my mum's opened the door for him, 1202 00:56:51,089 --> 00:56:54,329 he's run straight upstairs and I've kind of heard him now. 1203 00:56:54,329 --> 00:56:57,689 He's run straight into the room and he's started his antics, 1204 00:56:57,689 --> 00:56:59,969 he's giving hits to the head, he's grabbing buttocks, 1205 00:56:59,969 --> 00:57:02,049 he's saying, "Do you like that, do you like that? 1206 00:57:02,049 --> 00:57:03,449 "You know you like that!" 1207 00:57:03,449 --> 00:57:07,489 Anyway, I'm at the door now, and he's looked round, 1208 00:57:07,489 --> 00:57:09,809 and he's like, his face has dropped. 1209 00:57:09,809 --> 00:57:11,369 He's like, "Wait a minute, 1210 00:57:11,369 --> 00:57:15,009 "if you're standing at the door then who's under the covers?" 1211 00:57:15,009 --> 00:57:17,809 So, my mum's friend was visiting from abroad... 1212 00:57:17,809 --> 00:57:19,809 LAUGHTER 1213 00:57:19,809 --> 00:57:24,409 ..and...and all you see is her head pop up, and her head is dishevelled, 1214 00:57:24,409 --> 00:57:28,689 as you can imagine, and... Yeah, that was the... 1215 00:57:28,689 --> 00:57:31,489 Stop your story and walk! Walk, walk! Go, go, go! Walk! Yay! 1216 00:57:31,489 --> 00:57:33,249 APPLAUSE 1217 00:57:33,249 --> 00:57:34,769 Well done! 1218 00:57:34,769 --> 00:57:38,089 OK, that really is all we've got time for. 1219 00:57:38,089 --> 00:57:40,409 If you'd like to have a go in the red chair 1220 00:57:40,409 --> 00:57:42,489 and tell your story, you can, just contact us 1221 00:57:42,489 --> 00:57:44,769 via our website at this very address. 1222 00:57:44,769 --> 00:57:48,129 Please say a huge New Year's Eve thank you to all of my guests, 1223 00:57:48,129 --> 00:57:50,569 Madeline Brewer! 1224 00:57:50,569 --> 00:57:52,249 Callum Scott Howells! 1225 00:57:52,249 --> 00:57:55,249 Romesh Ranganathan! 1226 00:57:55,249 --> 00:57:57,449 Hugh Laurie! 1227 00:57:57,449 --> 00:57:59,849 Micheal Ward! 1228 00:57:59,849 --> 00:58:01,929 Olivia Colman! 1229 00:58:01,929 --> 00:58:05,209 And Leah Williamson! 1230 00:58:05,209 --> 00:58:06,609 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 1231 00:58:06,609 --> 00:58:09,729 We will be back on Friday the 6th of January. 1232 00:58:09,729 --> 00:58:15,209 Till then, have a very happy New Year. Goodnight, everybody, bye-bye!