>> "Funnyman--"
[Gasping]
--"Scaredy Bat?"
>> Hey, break a leg.
[Gulping]
[Clearing throat]
>> Um...
[Coughing in crowd]
Uh...
[Coughing]
[Crowd member snoring]
Uh...
[Clearing throat]
Every notice, uh, how-- how
terrifying it is to receive a
gift?
Hmm?
[Clearing throat]
You know, if a present is
supposed to be a nice thing,
well then why is it hidden in
paper?
[Chuckling nervously]
You know what I am saying.
[Chuckling nervously]
[Snoring]
[Clearing throat]
Ooh!
Oh dear me!
Where did this menacing hook
come from?
Who is behind this threatening
apparatus?
Hello?!
[Laughing]
Oh well, I now want you to hook
me, sir.
I now want you to hook me.
[Laughing]
Well, please hook me.
Take me off the stage.
[Cheering]
>> CROWD: Encore!
Encore!
>> You are going the wrong way.
Stop!
Stop it, please!
[Crowd laughing]
[Sighing]
I must talk to my agent.
♪
♪ So today were gonna
♪ Take a time to show ya
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
♪ We're gonna show you why
♪ There's more
than meets the eye ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
>> Catastrophe!
Catastrophe!
>> POE: Can you use it in a
sentence, please?
>> Catastrophe, "I hope it will
not be a catastrophe when
tomorrow, a very special day and
a day that should be celebrated,
rolls around."
>> Hmm...
"Catastrophe," K--
>> Oh, right.
It's the seventh anniversary of
the day you were rescued from
an ice floe.
Misery, how could I forget?
>> Well, it's not a huge deal.
>> No, wait.
I'll start again.
C-A-T--
>> Of course it's a big deal,
Misery.
It's your anniversary.
>> I guess it does make me a
little happy, but I don't want a
party or anything and I hate
surprises.
The last time I was surprised,
that pack of wolves was
ruthless.
>> Oh, I wouldn't worry about
any party or anything.
[Gasping]
Doom, where'd you get that?
[Chuckling]
>> I've never seen Misery look
so happy.
[Chuckling]
She'll be so thrilled you've
invited her cousins to come to
the party.
You've outdone yourself, Ruby.
>> Well, anything for a pal.
[Balloon popping]
>> Ow.
[Sighing]
>> What was the word again?
>> ALL: Catastrophe.
>> Oh...
>> RUBY: Almost finished, guys.
>> Hurry, we haven't eaten in...
twenty minutes.
>> Hey, guys.
Ruby, this was in the mailbox.
I think it's from Misery's
cousins.
>> What is it?
>> Looks like some kind of legal
document clearing the cousins of
any blame "in the event of
damage or disaster."
Well, I guess it's good to be
careful.
[Thunder crashing]
>> What document?
Who's being extra careful?
[Thunder crashing]
>> Your cousins, Ruby invited
them to your anniversary
celebration as a surprise!
[Gasping]
I mean, I don't know.
>> My cousins are coming?
Ruby, you invited my cousins?
[Thunder crashing]
My cousins, together, as a duo,
as two people joined together in
sibling unity?
>> Well, it was going to be a
surprise, but yes.
Isn't it great?
>> But Ruby, my cousins are...
cold.
[Shivering]
>> Hey, they'll warm up to us in
no time.
Surprise!
[Doorbell ringing]
>> B Minor, neat.
>> That must be our guests.
Just a minute.
>> Ruby, I have to warn you, my
cousins together are--
>> Restrained, but delightful,
I'm sure.
Welcome, family!
>> Can we come in?
>> Be my... guest.
Misery, look who it is.
>> Hello, Malady.
Hello, Malaise.
You look great.
>> Thanks, Misery.
You get taller?
You must be Ruby.
Misery has told us so much about
you.
Do you really talk to yourself
in the bathtub?
>> Uh, well I-- gosh, would you
look at your hand?
It's all bandaged up, Malady.
What happened to it?
>> Well, it all started last
week when I realized I was
allergic to polyester...
And then, you make a poultice
with potatoes, which is supposed
to take the sting away.
But, instead it gave me hives,
due to my severe reaction...
...The boils on my elbow, which
left a large scab.
But, the doctor said to stay off
my feet, because they had
swelled due to the...
...Oil of wintergreen, but
sadly, my skin reacted.
>> Gosh, that's really a--
>> And then the canker sores,
but that was due to lemons, too
acidic.
It's a scrape.
I'll be fine.
>> Wow, would you look at the
time?
It's... uh, gone.
>> Hey, guys.
Check out the self portrait I
made from clay.
Does it look like me?
>> RUBY: Wow, it's uncanny.
>> Oh, you must be Misery's
cousins.
>> She's Malady and I'm Malaise.
>> What happened to your arm?
[Talk droning on over itself:]
>> Well, it all started last
week, when I realized I was
allergic to polyester...
And then you make a poultice
with potatoes, which was
supposed to take the sting away
...The doctor said that was
due to lemons, too acidic.
It's a scrape.
I'll be fine.
>> Well, we better get settled
in for the night.
Time to unwind.
>> I'll bring you some snacks.
>> And I'll go sculpt something,
somewhere where it's warm.
[Shivering]
>> RUBY: Is it ever cold.
>> Wait, Ruby, Skull Boy, I have
to tell you about my cousins.
Oh well, I guess I'll get an
ice pick ready.
>> Here we are, the three
amigos, together again.
[Thunder crashing]
>> So, Misery, tomorrow we
celebrate you being saved from
that ice floe.
>> Yes, it was quite the day.
Hello?
>> I'm thirsty.
Let's get some buttermilk.
>> Hello?
>> Wait, isn't that Misery on an
ice floe, waving at us?
>> Yeah, I think it is.
>> Come on, we'd better get to
that buttermilk before it's all
gone.
>> Yes, I'd just like to thank
you for sending those pirates
out to help me.
>> Pirates?
>> Oh...
>> Here you go, guys.
[Shivering]
Is anyone else cold?
>> Ruby, I have to tell you
about this cold.
>> Oh, a cold is nothing.
I haven't told Ruby about my toe
fungus yet.
>> Um, why don't you save it for
tomorrow?
>> Good idea.
It's a long story.
>> Is it ever cold for July.
I'd better throw another log on
the fire.
>> But, uh, Ruby?
[Yelling]
>> Ooh!
>> BOTH: Now Ruby, don't panic.
>> FRANK: But the house is--
>> LEN: Frozen!
[Crashing]
>> I suppose this means the
party's over before it even
began.
What a c--
>> FRANK: Please don't say it.
>> Conundrum.
[Note playing]
>> Are you kidding?
Misery's party will be the
coolest party ever.
Whoa!
>> Ta-da!
[Laughing]
Who knew skating could be so
much fun?
>> A mais oui.
And seeing how I'm a descendant
of the great French Canadian ice
sculptor, Jean Luc Luc Jean, I
carved the masterpiece I call,
"Hunk of Ice."
Not yet finished.
[Chuckling]
[Sneezing]
[Sighing]
[Coughing]
>> Hi.
>> Yeah!
[Party maker blowing]
>> ALL: Surprise!
Happy seventh anniversary of the
day you got rescued from the
ice floe, Misery.
>> Oh, just what I wanted, a
party.
Thanks.
But, I know this icy wonderland
couldn't have happened without
my cousins.
>> "Icy," "cousins," of course.
They brought all this winter
cheer with them.
Malaise and Malady, you two are
amazing.
>> That's right.
We bring the party with us
wherever we go.
I got to lie down now.
[Poe Muffled:]
>> Help, help!
I say, could someone please be
of assistance!
[Gasping]
>> Do you hear that?
It sounds like Poe.
He must be trapped somewhere.
>> We have to find him, before
he freezes.
>> Family visits are always fun.
Family visits are always fun.
Family visits--
>> POE: Help me, Misery!
I'm in here!
Help!
>> Oh, I think I just found Poe.
>> Oh no, what a--
>> Catastrophe!
[Teeth chattering]
[Ice cracking]
>> Almost done.
[Ice cracking]
>> Are you all right?
[Shivering]
>> Just a slight numbing in my
claws, but nothing I can't
handle.
>> My cousins are cold.
That's what I've been trying to
tell you.
>> I thought you meant cold
figuratively and not literally.
>> That side of my family was
responsible for the ice age.
Malady and Malaise are a walking
cold front.
>> How can we get things back to
normal?
>> The secret to breaking the
cold front is to separate them.
Once they're on their own, the
ice will thaw.
>> So that means we'll have to
buddy up and do fun stuff to
keep them occupied.
Iris, you go with Malaise.
>> Okay.
>> Poe, you're paired up with
Malady.
>> Right.
>> You guys are the best.
Goodbye, now.
[Yawning]
Bye, guys.
>> IRIS: See ya.
>> POE: Bye-bye.
>> MALAISE: Whatever.
[Chuckling]
>> Oh, you two.
>> Ah, paradise, a lofty view of
Gloomsville in the bracing air
is just what the doctor ordered.
>> Ouch!
An acorn hit me in the head, now
I'll get scurvy.
[Chuckling]
>> Oh, my dear, one gets scurvy
due to lack of vitamin C.
Perhaps your ailments are
psychosomatic, that is all in
your head.
Ah!
I stand corrected.
Well, hopefully your sister is
having a better time.
>> Isn't the other side of the
earth great?
Malaise, I'd like you to meet
one of my best friends, Squig.
Want to go for a ride?
It's fun, watch!
Yahoo!
[Laughing]
Want to try?
[Snoring]
[Air horn blowing]
♪
[Buzzing]
[Blowing nose]
[Squeaking]
[Whistle blowing]
[Train chugging]
[Squeaking and chugging]
>> Huh, I think even Misery's
having a better time.
[Ice cracking]
>> Uh-oh.
[Sighing]
>> It feels good to be warm
again.
I'm glad separating Malady and
Malaise worked.
>> Yeah, I thought I was going
to be my own ice sculpture soon.
>> Hey, Ruby, Skull Boy.
[Both cheering]
>> I didn't know we had a pool.
[Gasping]
>> We do now.
>> The ice melted all at once?
>> Hello?
>> SKULL BOY: Hey, isn't that
Misery on an ice floe?
>> Yeah, I think it is.
Don't worry, Misery!
We'll save you!
>> Save her?
What happened?
>> She's out there, on an
ice floe.
>> Unbelievable, on the seventh
anniversary of the day Misery
was rescued from an ice floe,
she's stuck on an ice floe.
>> I believe that is what is
called "onomatopoeia."
>> No, Len, it's not.
It's irony.
>> Well, that sure would be
either to spell.
>> Think, think.
We have to come up with an idea
to rescue Misery.
>> Ruby, think no further.
>> BOTH: Woo-hoo!
>> Uh-oh.
>> Now's not the time to be
picky.
>> We'll surf out to Misery on
our guitar.
[Bubbling]
>> What are we going to do now?
>> Don't worry, I have an idea.
[Hammering]
[Splashing]
>> Brilliant, Skull Boy.
Your sculpting talents have
really come in handy.
>> Yeah, but to be honest, it
doesn't look anything like you.
>> I only have a few minutes
before this ice canoe melts.
Salut, mes amis!
>> Hurry, Skull Boy, hurry.
>> Two more minutes until this
canoe turns to water.
♪ Is your ship sinking?
♪ Is it arsenic
you're drinking? ♪
Misery, I'm here to rescue you.
>> That's what they all say.
>> Well, hurry.
We only have a minute before
this canoe turns into a giant
slushy.
Get on.
Now paddle like the northern
wind.
>> I just know they'll be all
right.
[Coughing]
Ah!
Malady, Malaise, what are you
doing back so soon?
>> Ruby, do you have a first aid
kit?
>> Of course, but you actually
look fine.
>> It's not for me, it's for
Poe.
>> Oh...
>> All of a sudden, he got this
tremendous headache when we were
out.
>> Yeah and Iris ran out of
steam with me.
[Sighing and snoring]
[Skull Boy yelling]
>> Misery!
[Yelling]
Oh, Misery, are you all right?
We were so worried about you.
>> I'm okay--
>> Ah!
>> -- just as long as Malaise
and Malady are having a good
time.
>> Actually, we had fun.
>> My arm is feeling not worse.
>> Let's really get the party
started, Misery.
Things are no fun without you.
>> Gee, that's the nicest thing
anyone's ever said to me,
besides my doctor telling me I
don't have rickets.
[Spitting]
>> What about, you know, the
cold front and you two being
together?
>> You guys go ahead.
I could use some fresh air.
>> Yeah and I'll take the next
shift.
>> Really?
You'd do that for me?
>> MALADY: What's family for?
I'll be fine... if my allergies
don't act up.
[Sneezing]
[Sighing]
>> POE: ...T-r-o-p-h-e,
"catastrophe."
Yes!
>> That's great, Poe, but the
word this time was "avocado."
>> Oh... oh, dear.
[Sighing]
>> Back to peace and quiet.
>> Misery, I'm really sorry
about surprising you when you
don't like surprises.
I should have listened to you.
>> Actually, you were right,
Ruby.
I... um... do like surprises,
two to be exact.
[Giggling]
>> So, then my doctor said the
corn will have to come off the
foot.
Can you believe that?
>> SCARDEY: No, I cannot.
>> The specialist had never seen
a corn that large on a toe.
There was talk of amputation,
but they didn't have a saw big
enough.
[Malady continuing to talk]
>> Oh, I will never say "hello.
How are you?" again in my life.
>> Strange, since I don't play
tennis, isn't it?
There was talk of amputation,
but how do you amputate an
elbow?
>> FRANK AND LEN: "Career Day"
with Frank and Len.
>> Welcome to "Career Day" with
Frank and Len.
>> A job should inspire
dedication, satisfaction, but
above all... rockin' guitar
riffs!
[Hard rock playing]
>> Let's look at our first
career option.
Slide, please.
This is a candlestick maker and
a candlestick maker is--
>> Someone who makes
candlesticks.
[Chuckling]
>> Killer.
Now, seeing as candles make wax,
which changes shape, a
candle maker would sound like
this--
[Heavy metal solo playing]
Okay, next career option,
please.
Oh, the fishmonger.
What does he do, Len?
>> He's a guy who sells fish,
Frank.
[Chuckling]
>> Not exactly.
A fishmonger is a guy who mongs
fish.
So, the guitar riff would sound
sort of fishy like this--
[Guitar playing with reverb]
[Both laughing]
Next career option, please.
>> Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh!
I know this one, a guitar
player!
>> Yeah, good one.
Okay, a guitar player plays
guitar and would sound like this
on the guitar--
[Discordant note sounding]
Whoa...
>> Way too much pressure.
>> Well, that's it for "Career
Day" with Frank and Len.
And may all your career
aspirations be riffling.
[Hard rock playing]
♪