>> FRANK: "Learn to Play Golf"
with Frank--
>> LEN: And Len.
[Rattling]
>> Today we show you how to play
a game we know nothing about.
>> Hey, wait a sec.
Speak for yourself, mon frère.
Six!
>> Uh, don't you mean "fore,"
Len?
>> Oh, right.
Minus two!
[Crashing]
Sorry.
>> CAMERAMAN : It's okay.
>> What are you doing?
>> Marking down a hole in one.
Look, landed right in his
bellybutton.
>> Say goodnight, Len.
>> Goodnight, Len.
[Sighing]
♪
♪ So today were gonna
♪ Take a time to show ya
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
♪ We're gonna show you why
♪ There's more
than meets the eye ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
>> IRIS: Woo-hoo!
[Laughing]
Whoa!
All right!
[Laughing]
Hey guys, look!
No eyes!
>> RUBY: Iris, watch out for--
[Gasping]
[Crashing]
-- the house.
[All gasping]
>> Now that's what I call a
crash landing.
>> My mountaintop, my
tranquility base, my room!
Oh, my hat.
[Sneezing]
And I was so close to putting it
all together and figuring out
where I come from.
>> Oh no, I can't believe it.
I'm so sorry, Skull Boy.
How can I ever make it up to
you?
[Blowing]
I know!
I'll build you a new room.
>> And I'll help.
>> I'm game!
[Cracking]
>> That's great, guys.
But where will I stay in the
meantime?
Got to be some place quiet,
where I can focus and
concentrate.
>> You can stay with me.
I have lots of room since Edgar
and Allen took leave for the
annual convention of
wisenheimers.
Well, not that I miss them of
course.
I'm perfectly fine on my own,
perfectly fine... by myself...
perfectly fine.
Drat.
Oh, please come.
>> Are you sure, Poe?
>> As sure as I am about
anything.
A little more... there.
I promise I won't get in your
way.
>> Okay, thanks.
>> Splendid.
>> Welcome, my friend to the den
that has an end... table.
Skull Boy, I am definitely
certain and most certainly
definite that you and I--
>> Wow.
I'd forgotten what an amazing
library you have.
>> Yes, yes.
I have many books here.
Please, be my guest.
>> Okay, thanks, Poe.
>> One of these books could
possibly hold the secret to
where you come from.
>> Really?
The Layabout's Guide to the
Universe? Hmm...
>> I once found the secret of
success in one of those books.
I wrote it down and keep it here
in my breast pocket.
I shall share it with you now.
Oh, dear.
Hmm?
Ah, the secret of success shall
have to wait... until I find the
secret of reading one's own
handwriting.
There.
Now, what shall we do first?
Ooh, I know.
How about a game of ask the Poe?
Wherein you ask me a question
and I answer.
Ready?
Go.
[Pages shuffling]
Any topic.
You can even ask your second
question first if you like, or
your first question third and
your fifth question first.
>> Oh, no.
Thanks, Poe.
I'm not hungry.
[Metallic clanging and sawing]
>> Hey, Misery, can you pass me
the plans?
>> Uh, sure.
[Thunder crashing]
[Sizzling]
Oops.
>> So, there I was, in the
debate of my life.
Are you listening, Skull Boy?
>> SKULL BOY: Hmm...
>> Me on one side, the entire
faculty of Cambridge University
on the other.
And I said, "oh, really?"
And they said, "really."
[Poe blabbing in background]
>> Oh, really?
Hey, listen to this.
"Chapter Four: a true layabout
reads while lying on their back
and on their stomach."
Hey, I'm a natural.
>> And then I said, "yes."
And what do you imagine their
reply was, Skull Boy?
Skull Boy?
Well, exactly.
They had none.
Game set, match, Poe.
♪
[Snoring]
[Poe singing in Italian]
Rise and shine, it's preening
time.
>> Sorry, Poe.
Can't preen with you today.
>> What, no morning preening?
>> Uh-uh.
It goes against who I am.
You see, after doing some
research in your library, I
found out that I might come from
a long line of layabouts.
Isn't that exciting?
>> Well, I suppose it--
>> It's all in here, The
Layabout's Guide to the
Universe.
>> Super.
>> Hey, look.
"Chapter Six: laying about and
looking cool."
>> Well, perhaps I could, um,
layabout and look cool too?
>> Sorry, Poe.
Chapter seven clearly states
layabouts do better laying about
on their own.
>> Right, then.
Well, happy laying about.
[Door opening and closing]
[Clearing throat]
Preen, two, three, four.
Preen--
[Grunting with effort]
Jewel of a morning, Ruby.
>> Sure--
[Grunting]
-- is, Poe.
>> Care for a mint?
>> No, thank you.
>> Me neither.
>> How's Skull Boy working out?
>> Splendid.
You should come for a visit and
see for yourself.
>> Love to.
>> Jolly good.
Say, dinner tonight?
>> Well, sure.
>> Top notch.
See you then.
Oh and let me know if you need
any help with Skull Boy's room.
[Grunting with effort]
>> Thanks.
Ooh!
>> Announcement, Miss Ruby
Gloom shall be dining with us
tonight.
Skull Boy, you clean up, while I
attend to the edibles.
Mark my words, I shall make a
meal unlike any meal ever made
in the history of meals.
[Chuckling]
[Snoring]
[Bubbling]
[Sniffing]
[Slurping]
Ah, magnifique.
Now, to check on the cleaning
detail.
Egad!
Ruby is expected any minute.
What happened to clean up
detail?
[Snoring]
>> Page one, "do nothing, but do
it well."
[Doorbell ringing]
[Yelling]
>> She is here!
Quick!
[Chuckling]
Ruby, so glad you could make it.
>> Something smells great and
look how clean it is.
You guys must have been working
all day.
[Snoring]
>> Enjoy, dear friends, "stew
Poe-gingon."
>> Delicious, Poe.
>> Thank you.
Skull Boy, can you pass the
pepper, please?
>> Sorry, Poe.
No can do.
It's against the layabout code
of conduct.
Most I can do for you, is just
give it a look.
>> Fine.
I did not need it anyway.
>> Man, are my feet ever tired.
Laying on them all day has
really taken a toll.
[Clearing throat]
>> Skull Boy, your feet...
>> Thank you for noticing.
Yes, they are my feet.
>> Hmph!
Ruby, can you tell Skull Boy
that it's not very polite to put
his feet on the table?
>> Finished.
>> Finished?
But you only had a spoonful.
Was there something wrong with
the stew?
>> It didn't sit well with me.
>> What?
>> "Sit well," "sit," a little
bit of layabout humour.
>> Well, I never.
Ruby, inform Skull Boy that I
will be in the kitchen.
>> Gee, I wonder what's eating
him?
Or what he ate?
[Chuckling]
Get it?
"What he ate?"
>> Uh, maybe you should check on
your roommate, make sure he's
okay.
>> Poe?
Poe's made of hardy stock.
[Crashing]
Right away.
>> POE: I slaved all day and
this is the thanks I get?
>> SKULL BOY: The stew
"Poe-gone-long," tasted great.
>> It's stew "poe-gingon."
And how would you know?
You only had one spoonful.
>> Sorry, but I didn't want to
tax my digestive system.
Chapter seven, paragraph three
The Layabout's Guide--
>> Oh, "The Layabout Guide,"
that's all you ever talk about.
What about me?
What about my needs?
>> I'm sorry, Poe, but I'm a
layabout.
It's-It's-It's who I am!
>> Oh, I should have listened to
mother.
Dessert?
>> Love to.
By the way, Skull Boy, Iris says
you can come by tomorrow.
Your room is ready.
>> Wha--
Skull Boy!
[Snapping]
>> Ah, there it is.
I was wondering where the guide
went.
>> IRIS: On the count of three,
open your eyes.
One, two, three!
Don't you just love it?
>> SKULL BOY: Uh, where's the
bed?
>> Oh, right.
I knew I forgot something.
Otherwise, what do you think?
>> Well, I don't know if it's
really me.
>> You, you!
Oh, my goodness, dear boy.
This room captures the very
essence of you; the wall of
strength within your soul, the
rope climb of wisdom that swings
within your brain, the toothy
crocodile of... of something.
I will miss you, of course, but
I believe you will be very, very
happy here, very happy.
>> Hmm...
I'm a layabout.
I guess I can layabout anywhere.
>> Ah, splendid.
No reason to return to pack.
I took the trouble.
Sad though I am that you are
taking leave, we will always
have the memories.
[Humming]
>> He's probably weeping inside.
I know I am.
[Cracking]
>> Iris...
[Cracking and crashing]
[Coughing]
[Gasping]
>> Oops...
I knew I forgot something, the
nails.
I guess it's too late, huh?
>> Ahh... peace and tranquility.
[Humming]
[Yelling]
>> Hey, Poe.
Did you miss me?
[Yelling]
[Crying]
Oh, the agony!
[Sighing]
>> But, you did invite him to
live with you during the
renovations and you were
excited about having him.
>> Yes, yes.
So we could pal around, as it
were, be best buds, so to speak.
Do stuff together, so he could
keep me company.
>> Listen, Misery took over the
redesign from Iris and she's
nearly finished.
[Thunder crashing]
[Glass breaking]
Nearly...
And everything will be back to
normal, including your
friendship with Skull Boy.
In the meantime, just put on a
brave face.
>> Ah, sage advice.
Thank you, Ruby.
>> Hey, Ruby, can we talk?
>> Sure.
But, you did agree to live with
him during the renovations and
you were excited about it.
>> But that was before I
discovered that I may come from
a long line of layabouts and
layabouts need their space... to
layabout.
>> Listen, Misery took over the
redesign from Iris and she's
nearly finished.
[Thunder crashing]
[Glass breaking]
Nearly...
And everything will be back to
normal, including your
friendship with Poe.
In the meantime, just put on a
brave face.
>> Hmm... good advice, Ruby.
Thanks.
>> Whoa, something's bear
repeating.
[Chuckling]
[Yawning]
>> "Put on a brave face."
"Put on a brave face."
>> "Put on a brave face."
"Put on a brave face."
Hello there, roommate.
And how was your day?
>> Just fine, roommate.
And how was yours?
>> Just fine and dandy.
Have a good sleep, roommate.
>> Oh, you two, roommate.
>> Toss 'er up.
>> Here, Ruby, let me try.
[Metallic clanging]
There, that was easy.
Next.
>> So, Skull Boy, how much do
you loathe it?
Ta-da.
So, what do you think?
>> Well...
>> POE: Sold.
>> Great.
Come on, everyone.
Let's get Skull Boy's bags.
Phew, glad we solved the
problem.
>> What do you think, Skull Boy?
>> Um, guys, hold it one second.
[Grunting]
I can't stay here.
>> Huh?
>> Wha--
>> Chapter eight, paragraph
nine, "about laying about in
places where there's no comfy
place to layabout, forget it."
Sorry, Misery.
I hope you're not disappointed.
>> I'm crushed.
>> Guess this means it's back to
Poe's for you, Skull Boy.
>> P-p-p-p-Poe's?
>> Skull Boy?
>> That'll be a blast.
>> And a half.
>> BOTH: I heard that.
[Both groaning]
I heard that.
[Groaning]
>> Hey, I've seen this scenario
play out many times before, like
with my half cousin twice
removed and her husband, a guy
named "Husband," who had half a
leg once removed, twice.
You guys need counselling,
serious counselling.
>> BOTH: Really?
[Clock ticking]
>> So...
>> He doesn't listen!
>> He takes me for granted!
>> He doesn't listen!
>> Oh, really?
>> He doesn't listen.
>> Time out, time out.
Let's take a breath, shall we?
>> He takes me for granted.
>> But, Ruby--
>> Time out, time out.
>> No!
>> Stop!
>> No!
[Clearing throat]
>> I don't need to hear anymore.
I've got it.
>> Really?
>> You have a solution already?
>> Friends can have different
likes and dislikes, and that's
okay.
But sometimes friends need
space.
And in your case, I believe that
space should include a tree, a
graveyard and lots of ground.
>> Um...
>> Okay.
>> You guys would probably be
better off not living together.
>> That's it!
>> Of course!
>> Aww...
>> Wow, it seems to be working
already.
Okay, I'll fix your room.
Skull Boy, pack your bags.
You're going home.
♪
[Clearing throat]
[Groaning]
[Applauding]
[Crashing]
♪
>> RUBY: No peaking
Okay, on three.
One, two, three.
[Yelling]
>> Wha--
[Laughing]
Doom...
See?
>> Wow!
Hey, you even repaired my
telescope.
>> Welcome home, Skull Boy.
>> Glad to have you back.
>> Well, it's good to be back.
I may not know where I'm from,
but I know where I belong.
>> I'll help you unpack.
>> No!
[Groaning]
>> Uh-oh.
Oops.
>> Ah!
Well, what are friends for?
[All laughing]
>> IRIS: Woo-hoo!
[Laughing]
Whoa!
All right!
Whoa!
This time I've got it, Squig.
Hey guys, look!
No eyes!
>> RUBY: Iris, watch out for--
[Crashing]
[Groaning]
>> Oh no.
[Clearing throat]
So, Skull Boy, shall we flip for
the bed?
I call heads.
>> Heads.
>> But, you didn't listen.
I called heads.
>> Because you took it for
granted I wouldn't call heads.
[Sighing]
>> Call it in the air.
>> BOTH: Heads!
>> POE: Ruby, he doesn't listen
>> Ruby, he takes me for
granted.
>> He doesn't listen.
>> Oh, really?
>> MISERY: "A Day in the Life of
the Doom Kitty."
The Doom Kitty is the most
feared beast in the animal
kingdom.
Every evening, she goes in
search of her prey.
Here, she is preparing to
unleash her fury on the poor,
unsuspecting victim.
She pounces and attacks,
afterwards licking herself
clean of the gore.
Oh look, she has spotted another
poor, defenceless creature.
Hey, wait a second.
That's me.
Too late!
[Giggling]
Oof!
Goodbye, cruel world!
[Giggling]
♪