>> RUBY: "Detective Doom Kitty
in: The Case Of The Missing
Muffin."
[Eastern gong echoing]
[Trolley bell dinging]
♪
[Water sloshing]
[Handle rattling]
[Thud]
>> RUBY: Care for a bite, Doom?
♪
♪ So today we're gonna
♪ Take the time to show you
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
♪ We're gonna show you why
♪ There's more than
meets the eye ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No, you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
[Laughing]
>> Whoa!
[Crashing]
[Straining, moaning]
>> I'm good.
>> Are you sure you're okay,
Iris?
>> Sure I landed facedown,
but it was only 40-feet up.
Never felt better.
>> Oh, is that a body part?
>> Hey, Iris lost a tooth.
You know what that means.
>> We get to make tooth
necklaces?
>> Iris will be getting a
visitor tonight.
>> Like from a heinous
apparition from another world?
>> Pardon me?
>> No.
From the Tooth Fairy.
She'll sneak into your room
late at night and take your
tooth.
[Gasping]
>> Oh, that's terrifying!
>> Wish I'd thought of that.
>> The Tooth Fairy always
leaves a trinket behind.
She's very polite that way.
>> A trinket?
Cool!
Can I have anything I want?
>> Uh, a strange winged creature
sneaks into one's room under
the cover of darkness to steal
one's teeth...
And everyone is okay with this?!
>> Yep.
>> Sure.
>> good with me.
>> There's nothing to be
worried about, Scaredy.
Come on, Iris.
Let's put that tooth under your
pillow.
>> No, no, my teeth are staying
right where they are.
They will not fall victim to
some tooth monster.
Ow!
No, my tooth is fine.
That's just psycho... oh, what
is it?
Psychosomatic, where your brain
fools you into feeling pain
that you really don't.
Oh, okay, Brain, come on.
Joke's over.
I'm serious now, I'm serious!
Ow -- oh, no.
>> I want a rocket-powered
catapult, a band of praying
mantises that live in a shoebox,
and, oh, oh, oh, silent shoes!
So no one can hear me coming.
>> I don't think the Tooth Fairy
takes trinket orders.
>> What's in it for her?
She gives all kinds of cool
gifts and all she gets is a
bunch of gross old teeth.
>> I'm telling you, she makes
tooth necklaces.
There's a huge market.
>> Well, in any case, the faster
Iris gets to sleep, the faster
she'll get a visit from the
Tooth Fairy.
Right, Iris?
[Snoring]
>> 'Night, everyone.
Uh, don't you guys have
somewhere to go?
[Rooster crowing]
[Yawning]
[Gasping]
The tooth is gone!
>> Told ya.
>> Oh, the anticipation is
killing me.
Oh, well, maybe that's my
malaria acting up again.
>> Ah-ha, here it is!
>> What is it?
>> Maybe it's a piece of an
ancient stalagmite from the
underwater caves of Gruesome
Canyon.
I've always wanted to go.
>> Or maybe it's a good luck
charm.
>> Or maybe it's an ancient
vile of disease that could kill
us all.
Or just turn our hair into a
lovely shade of moss green.
>> Whatever it is, I'm gonna
find out.
>> Hey, has anyone seen Scaredy
this morning?
>> Oh, me, oh, my!
The end is surely near.
>> Scaredy, what's the matter?
>> Oh, isn't it obvious, Ruby?
I am on my last wings.
[Coughing]
I fear I shall not make it
until morning.
>> It's already morning.
>> Oh, then I fear I shall not
make it until evening.
>> Fear not, Poe is here!
I heard the moaning clear
across the yard.
Ah!
Judging from the swelling and
the pounding, your wisdom tooth
will have to come out.
>> Can I have my mouth back?
>> My dear Scaredy, how am I
supposed to understand a word
you're saying when you fail to
enunciate?
>> I think Scaredy wants you to
let go of his mouth.
>> Oh, beg your pardon.
Ahhh!
Egad, is my cape torn?
>> Ow!
No, nothing is coming out,
especially a tooth imbued with
my much-needed wisdom.
>> I've had all my wisdom teeth
out and it hasn't effected me.
Oh, drat!
>> Without my wisdom, I will be
forced to exist with a less than
average intellect.
Oh!
What will it be like to be
vacant?
Empty, I ask you, with not a
speck of smarts to speak of.
>> BOTH: Morning, Gloomsters.
[Munching]
>> SCAREDY: Oh, my!
No more, please!
Oh, no, I beg of you!
>> What was that, little bat?
>> Scaredy has a sore tooth.
>> Ahhhh!
>> Best way to cure a sore tooth
is to scare it out.
>> Isn't that for...
>> MISERY: Hiccups.
>> You got 'em too, Ruby?
Must be going around.
>> Don't worry, Scaredy.
There's bound to be some kind
of natural remedy in one of
my books.
[Screaming]
>> Still got the hiccups?
>> I'm good, thanks.
>> See.
Works.
>> Nice one, Len.
>> RUBY: Finally.
>> My grandmother used to say
leaches could cure anything.
Those were her last words.
>> Scaredy, your tooth will
have to come out.
>> But my precious wisdom!
Noooo!
>> Just breathe into the bag,
little bat.
>> That's for hyperventilating,
Frank.
>> Oh.
[Bag popping]
>> Oh!
[Gasping]
>> The bag worked.
The little dude's really
hyperventilating now, huh.
>> Oh, maybe you should try
standing on your head.
>> Well, if you think it might
help.
>> Hmm, you got me.
What's that for?
>> I'm not sure, but you got to
admit it's pretty funny.
>> Ahhh!
>> I've got it!
My trinket is a healing crystal
from Gloomstown, just outside
Gloomsville.
Any healing feeling yet?
>> Well, I do not know, you
know, because the rash on my
neck from the crystal is making
it hard to tell.
>> All this thinking has made
me hungry.
Let's make some sandwiches.
>> Yes, all this thinking has
made me hungry too.
I'm with you.
Oh, dear.
Soon, I will no longer be
thinking, which means I will
no longer be hungry.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
I better eat a lot.
>> Do you like peanut butter,
Scaredy?
>> Oh, well, I am sure I will
learn to like it.
Ow!
>> I'll take that as a no.
>> Oh, wait.
Oh, no.
My tooth has come out.
Oh, farewell, precious wisdom.
>> You gonna finish this?
>> No, Frank, stop!
>> You want a bite too, Ruby?
>> Mission accomplished.
Now all we have to do is wait
for the Tooth Fairy.
>> I would not like that very
much.
But thank you for asking.
>> Someone lose a tooth?
>> Weirdest thing.
I was down in the crypt when
a tooth fell on my head.
>> Oh, what does one have to do
to lose a lost tooth around
here?
>> I heard somewhere that
peanut butter and jelly works.
Bite?
>> Then the hideous creature
snuck into the parlour, talons
raised, determined to have its
fill of juicy victims.
>> Under the circumstances,
perhaps we should read
something more upbeat.
>> I'd rather hear what happens
next with the hideous creature.
>> There, all systems go.
I can't wait to catch the
elusive Tooth Fairy in the act.
[Yawning]
[Clock chiming]
>> It's only 8:00?
Feels more like midnight.
>> That's because it is
midnight.
Scaredy turned back the clock.
>> Scaredy, did you put the
clock back so we wouldn't have
to go to bed?
>> Well, if I had my wisdom,
I would have come up with a
better plan, you know.
>> Maybe the Tooth Fairy is
lurking in the shadows right
now, waiting for the right
moment to pounce!
[Scaredy screaming]
>> Scaredy, trust me, there's
nothing to worry about.
See you in the morning.
>> SCAREDY: Well, let us hope
so, Ruby.
[Laughing]
[Snoring]
>> I will not fall asleep, oh,
no, no.
[Yawning]
How can I be so tired when I
am on my fourth cup of coffee?
Oh, darn, decaf.
[Snoring]
>> Uh-oh.
>> IRIS: Huh?
[Both screaming]
>> Gotcha!
I'm good!
>> Oh, boy.
I still have 270 deciduous
teeth, 39 fangs and 423 incisors
to collect.
>> Excuse me but that is a lot
of teeth, isn't it?
>> 740 to be exact.
I get them mostly from bar
fights, hockey games and old
folks' homes.
>> You're not at all what I was
expecting.
>> Yeah, me neither.
You think it's easy sneaking
into people's rooms late at
night to swipe their teeth?
>> Sounds utterly fear-inducing.
Ah, I'm Scaredy.
>> Yeah, I get that a lot.
One of these days I'm going to
get a complex.
>> Oh, no, no, my name is
Scaredy.
Nice to meet you, um...
>> Millie the overworked,
confused and utterly bored
Tooth Fairy.
>> Oh, well, perhaps I could
just call you... achoo!
Millie?
>> Knock yourself out, kid.
>> Um, okay.
Um, well, you don't seem to
like being a Tooth Fairy,
Millie, am I right?
>> It's not like I have a
choice.
Everyone in my family's in
the tooth business.
So here I am, stuck, no
possibility of retirement for
the next 40 centuries.
>> Oh, dear.
Well, here, now you can tell
your family job well done.
>> Don't bother.
I'm actually thinking of
quitting the whole tooth
exchange business.
I'm drained.
Got nothing left of me to give.
>> Oh, well, I hope it was not
something I said.
You know, I'm not very wise
these days.
>> Of course, if I quit, I
can't go home.
Yep, got nowhere to go.
No place to hang my hat.
>> But you're not wearing a hat.
Oh, I get it.
Well, oh, please, we have lots
of spare beds here.
>> I'll take this one.
>> Oh, no, no, but you see that
is mine --
>> And if Fairy Headquarters
calls, tell them I'm N.A.
Not available.
>> Oh.
>> A Tooth Fairy who doesn't
want to be a Tooth Fairy?
That's quite a pickle.
Pickle?
>> Well, the poor thing needs
some peace and quiet to calm
her frazzled nerves and-- ahhh!
>> Maybe we can help her.
Millie can stay for as long
as she wants.
I can't wait to meet her.
>> Oh, you will like her, Ruby.
She is about yay big, cute,
and a little high strung.
>> I feel like I already know
her.
Lunch time.
>> Yum!
>> Thank you, Ruby.
>> Thanks.
>> Guys, we have a new house
guest.
Her name is Millie.
Let's make her feel like one
of us.
>> Here you go, Scaredy Bat.
This hot water bottle should
help with the tooth ache.
[Laughing]
>> That's for stomach aches,
Frank.
>> I keep trying to tell you,
my tooth is gone!
Gone, I tell you!
>> Where did it go?
>> I lost it.
>> I heard somewhere that if
you lose something, you should
look in the last place you left
it.
>> No, I already know where
I left it.
>> Then it's not lost.
And we can help you get rid
of it.
[Banging]
>> Poor little bat's still
trying to knock his tooth loose.
>> Guys, look, see.
>> Ahhh!
>> We got to find a cure fast,
Frank!
Now Ruby's losing her teeth too.
>> Normally I would say
something witty right about now,
but... without my wisdom,
I have nothing.
>> It's so nice that you can
stay with us, Millie.
>> Likewise, I'm sure.
>> I wonder how much flour I
should use for my gloomy
cookies.
>> Taking into account the
number of people in the house,
multiplied by their size,
divided by the number of people
who hate raisons, 3 1/4 cups.
>> Wow!
That was amazing, Millie.
>> Yeah, thanks.
Too bad there's no such job as
flour figure-outter.
If only I knew what to do with
the rest of my life.
>> If only I had my precious
wisdom back.
>> If only I hadn't run out of
flour.
>> POE: A proper poetry
recitation requires great
acoustics.
Maybe I should stand on a crate
by the fireplace.
>> Taking into account the room
dimensions, the slope ceilings,
the dust, you want your mouth
apparatus exactly 23 paces away.
>> That's exactly what I was
going to say.
With my mouth apparatus.
One, two, three...
>> Excuse me, but how is this
helping Poe's poetry recitation?
>> Not sure, but numbers don't
lie.
>> POE: 22, 23.
Okay, here it goes.
There once was a crow from
Nantucket...
♪ Scaredy Bat
♪ Oh, Scaredy Bat
♪ Has a real sore...
tooth! ♪
>> I think something's off.
>> You're right.
Maybe it's the rhythm.
>> That's right, Len.
To determine the number of beats
per bar, divide the time
signature by 3.
For example, in a 6/8th time
signature, there's 2 beats per
measure.
I think a 9/8th time signature
would work best here.
>> That's it!
>> Millie, that is --
>> Here, allow me!
And a one...
[Sighing]
I am never going to figure out
what do to with the rest of
my life.
>> Oh, I know.
Ever since I lost my wisdom,
I've resigned myself to a life
of eating mosquitoes and
sleeping until noon.
>> Don't you do that already?
>> Oh, yes, I suppose.
But before I did it wisely.
You know, I've notice you
really like numbers.
>> Oh, love everything about
them.
Counting teeth, charting the
types of teeth in inventory,
calculating revenue versus
trinket expenditures.
Numbers never let you down.
>> Well, promise you won't get
mad, but I think I've got you
a job!
>> What do you mean?
>> Well, Fairy Headquarters
called earlier looking for you.
[Telephone ringing]
Hello?
Oh, I'm sorry but Millie's not
here.
May I take a message?
Oh, yes, sir, Mr. Fairy, sir.
I will be sure to pass that
along.
Um, you know, while I have you
on the line, may I ask you
something?
So I spoke with Fairy
Headquarters and they say there
is an opening in the accounting
department!
>> An accountant?
Are you square about that?
>> Uh, yes.
Perhaps even a rectangle,
I don't know.
>> Thanks, kid.
But the chances of me breaking
into the big time are zero to
467,384,509.
That's an approximation, of
course.
>> Of course.
>> A bona fide tooth counter?
Really.
>> Yes, really.
>> Yes!
You're all right, kid.
I'm going to get me a new
abacus right away!
See ya around, Scaredy.
>> Ah, goodbye, Millie.
Achoo!
Good luck at Fairy Headquarters.
[Rooster crowing]
[Yawning]
What's this?
"Instantly restores wisdom."
This is just what I needed.
Oh!
[Munching]
Oh, delectable.
Oh, wait.
You cannot get wisdom from a
darn candy.
Oh, dear.
But I would not know this if
I did not still have my wisdom!
Yes!
Oh, yes, I am smart, no doubt!
I am smart!
>> That Tooth Fairy was a bit
of a downer, huh?
>> It was still nice having
Millie around.
I hope she enjoys her new job
at Fairy Headquarters.
>> Yeah, counting Iris's teeth.
>> Teeth?
I thought you just lost one
tooth, Iris.
>> So I pulled another tooth.
I wanted to see if the healing
crystal works.
It doesn't.
>> Yep, things are finally back
to normal.
[Scaredy screaming]
>> FRANK: Scaredy, come back!
We finally figured out how to
get rid of your tooth!
>> You mean I figured it out.
>> Now's not the time for blame,
Len.
>> BOTH: Come back!
>> Oh, yeah, everything's back
to normal all right.
>> MAN ON RECORD Helpful hint
#1.
There's no harm in a
heart warming smile.
>> Well, of course.
>> Helpful hint #2.
Brighten someone's day by
offering a cheery hello.
>> I always do that.
Hello!
>> Always find something about
a person that you can
compliment.
>> That's me to a tee.
>> And worst night brought the
dark and denied any light.
For sleep called forth which
I could not fight.
So, Misery, what did you think?
>> Better than gnawing on
valerian root.
>> Why... thank you?
>> I don't need this anymore.
It's like I made that record
myself.
♪