[Blowing]
♪
♪ Whilst I was walking along
one day ♪
♪ A voice from afar began to say
♪ "Beware, beware, you are
quite lost ♪
♪ The breadcrumbs you
cast look just like the frost ♪
♪
♪ "The only hope for finding
your way, is to stand on one
foot and do as I say ♪
♪ "Croak like a toad and hop
like a ninny, talk like a horse
and give a big whinny" ♪
[Whinnying]
♪ "Run like the wind, at the
oak, hang a right, but hurry or
else you'’ll get quite a fright ♪
♪ "The bats will not harm you,
I told them '’Let pass,' ♪
♪ The ghouls are a problem, best
watch your--" ♪
Um, bottom.
♪
♪ "The stakes are quite high
because, as you know ♪
♪ If you'’re late for dinner,
you'’re eating crow ♪
[Clapping]
[Rumbling]
[Poe screaming]
Oh, what was it, again?
While-- whilst-- something with
"whinny."
♪
♪ So today we'’re gonna
take the time to show you ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only thing you oughta know,
you really gotta ♪
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
♪ We'’re gonna show you why ♪
♪ There'’s more than
meets the eye ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only thing you oughta know,
you really gotta ♪
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom, Ruby Gloom
♪
[Screaming]
[Creaking]
But I can'’t open that door!
Who knows what evil lurks
behind it!
Who cares?
Open it!
Who cares?
I'’m gonna open it!
[Creaking]
[Ominous music playing]
Oh, boy, I can'’t believe what
I'’m seeing!
It'’s a-- it's--
RUBY: Yes?
Yes?
[Sighing]
Doom.
'’Twas the strangest thing
I'’ve ever seen.
It all makes sense now, all the
clues gathered over this very
long period of time has led us
to this startling conclusion.
Who would have ever thought the
murderer was--?
[Ruby groaning]
Doom!
And that climactic episode
concludes our 26-part series.
Oh, Doom.
[Giggling]
You really are a mischievous
kitty, aren'’t you?
♪
MISERY: Don'’t worry, Marie
Antoinette, your neck won'’t be
cold for long.
Doom?
[Guitar riffing]
LEN: Hey, cut it out!
Look, I didn'’t mess with your
tuning pegs, okay?
Well, someone messed with
'’em.
If it wasn'’t you, who was it?
Well, how should I know?
Huh?
RUBY: Of course Doom'’s okay,
Iris, she'’s being playful.
But she keeps teasing Squig
and he'’s afraid to land near the
house.
[Teeth chattering]
Doom'’s just being a cat.
[Crashing]
Sounds like the cat'’s
rearranging the furniture again.
[Furniture dragging]
RUBY: Um--
Perfect!
I need to sweep under there,
anyway.
♪
See what I mean?
A cat.
Midnight snack, anyone?
♪
Aaah!
Mo-o-o-oan!
I'’m scary!
So very frightening!
Nothin'’?
Wait, I got more.
Boo!
[Clearing throat]
Boo!
Check this out.
[Babbling]
♪
We meet again, Boo Boo.
> Mr. White here isn'’t happy
with your progress, or lack
thereof.
Thank you, Mr. White.
Sadly, Boo Boo, you are an
embarrassment to the ghost
family.
You gotta give me another
chance, I really want to make
ghost.
Please!
He'’s cute when he's pleading
for his afterlife, ain'’t he?
Adorable.
[Laughing]
BOO BOO: B-- b-- This is a
tough gig!
I can'’t even go through walls
yet!
You gotta scare someone, see?
One scare and you go through
walls.
Capisce?
Sure is cute, though.
WHITE: Yeah.
[Ghosts laughing]
I'’m not cute.
I hate cute.
IRIS: See?
There'’s something up with her.
RUBY: Nonsense.
You want to go inside the
closet, Doom?
Nothing wrong with that.
MISERY: Hm, let'’s see.
You were attacked by a pack of
rabid wolverines and dragged
into their closet-like lair.
Could happen.
Doom is simply saying there
are people in the closet.
Right, Doom?
Oh.
Besides us?
Right now?
Okay.
Yeah, okay, Doom.
Of course there are people in
here.
I believe you.
Obviously, Doom needs help.
So that'’s when I realized you
should never put your
carnivorous pets in the same
pen.
Then, when I was six--
RUBY: Okay, thanks, Misery--
For sharing, but this group
session is meant to help Doom.
In How to Care for Your Doom
Kitty in 33 Steps or Less, step
one is, and I quote, "Listen
carefully to avoid
misunderstandings."
[Crying]
I'’m sorry, Frank.
I didn'’t mean to misunderstand
you earlier.
No, it-- it was my fault.
I dismissed your whole tuning
pegs thing.
I should'’ve taken an interest.
I love you, man.
LEN: Yeah, me too, man.
Come here.
RUBY: Guys!
We'’re here for Doom, remember?
♪
Poor Doom!
She really is having a nervous
breakdown.
Nervous breakdowns, nervous
breakdowns.
♪
Whoa, Doom!
It'’s okay, calm down.
FRANK: Hey, maybe it'’s
something otherworldly.
I heard cats have a fifth sense
and can see things we can'’t.
Frank, please.
You'’re upsetting, Doom.
Besides, we all have five
senses.
Whoa.
So, we can see otherworldly
things, too?
[Gasping]
Who are you and why are you
here?
Hey, brainiac, I'’m over here.
Boo!
Nope, nothing.
Let'’s check out the other
rooms.
Oh, Doom, don'’t worry.
We'’ll figure this out.
Let'’s see, "Finding your inner
kitten."
I definitely feel a presence
here.
Yeah!
It'’s colder.
[Screaming]
My late aunt used an Ouija
board to call out ghosts.
What happened, something
heinous?
MISERY: Yes.
One day she pulled the Ouija
board out of the cupboard.
And?
And it fell on top of her
head, may she rest in peace.
It was a heavy board.
Hey, maybe we need one of
those boards to draw the ghost
out.
Yeah!
Beware--!
Of the cupboard.
[Rattling]
Are you sure, uh, you'’re-not-
bonkers-but-it'’s-okay-if-you-are
party is gonna work, Ruby?
Well, what would be better
than a calm sit-down dinner with
friends?
We can even use my most
prized possession, my great-
great-really-great-grandmother'’s
tablecloth.
The only thing salvaged from the
Great Fire of London.
Lo!
A light in the darkness!
Methinks that is too much
light!
Verily.
Uh, okay.
Who are you and why are you
here?
I'’m not getting anything.
You sure we have the right
board, Frank?
[Sighing]
[Shattering]
Back to the drawing board.
Hey!
Drawing board, that'’s it.
[Car engine running]
Nice to make your
acquaintance.
[Trembling]
This house is weird.
Nothing fazes them.
Mr. White is not impressed.
I'’ll take it from here, Mr.
White.
Drastic times call for drastic
measures.
Mr. White, you'’re not gonna--
It appears I have no choice.
You'’re going back to ghost
school.
[Gasping]
BOO BOO: No!
[Doom trembling]
[Doom whimpering]
What'’s the matter, Doom?
You look like you'’ve seen a
ghost.
Of course!
Iris, you are so smart!
I am?
Doom'’s not bonkers at all,
it'’s just a ghost in the house.
Oh, I can'’t wait to meet him.
♪
[Ruby groaning]
I'’m okay.
♪
Look, ectoplasm!
♪
Whoops.
Too strong.
♪
GRAMOPHONE: Simply lower your
voice three deadly octaves,
like so.
Boo-oo-oo!
Mo-o-o-oan!
Remember to vary your terror
up with a few sharp shrieks of
pain, such as this.
[Screaming]
Shri-i-i-iek!
[Coughing]
[Sighing]
I hate ghost school.
♪
RUBY: That must be him.
Well, I sure hope this ghost
doesn'’t show up at the big
dinner tonight and scare us.
Yeah, '’cause that would be
the perfect opportunity to scare
us, at the dinner party.
RUBY: Tonight at 8:00.
Come as you are.
[Boo chuckling]
Are you sure our ghouls-just-
want-to-have-fun party'’s gonna
work?
Of course, Iris.
What better way to make our new
guests feel at home than a nice
dinner?
Good point.
And we can draw the ghost out
with this eerie breadboard.
Hey, watch it!
That'’s my antique tablecloth
from my great-great-great-great-
great--
Grandmother'’s.
Yeah, we got that.
[Clinking]
Okay, everybody.
Let'’s make the new ghost feel at
home.
That way, maybe he won'’t
terrorize Doom so much.
♪
[Gasping]
Are you saying this ghost was
trying to scare everyone but it
wasn'’t working?
How frustrating for him.
I know what to do.
Just follow my lead.
What a lovely table, Misery!
Thanks.
Uh, Ruby.
Gloom.
It'’s so great to have
everyone--
[Deliberate screaming]
A ghost!
Over there!
What do you know?
[Gasping]
A ghost!
Yes, the ghost in here is
extremely frightful.
Really, where is it?
Aah!
I am an ugly, horrifying
creature.
[Deep breathing]
Okay, knock '’em dead.
Boo.
[Screaming]
[Coughing]
Moan.
[Screaming]
Whoa, this stuff is gold.
I must be a ghost.
Huh?
I don'’t get it.
I'’m killin' in here.
[Continued screaming]
WHITE: You have to
technically cause the scare in
some way.
Why couldn'’t I have got some
kid afraid of the boogieman
first time out?
This gig is death.
No one said it would be easy,
but like I says, all you need is
one scare and you go through
walls.
Yeah, and you'’ll be seen by
more than just cats, psychics,
and that nutty guy on the street
corner.
[Slurping]
WHITE: Now, get out there,
kid.
You'’re blocking my sun.
That was inspiring, Mr.
White.
Thank you, Mr. White.
[Kids groaning]
RUBY: I'’m so scared.
Really, really-- [Yawning]
-- scared.
Hold the breadboard up high,
man.
Okay, but are you sure this
is working?
I still don'’t see a ghost.
Who are you and why are you
here?
BOO BOO: Mo-o-o-oan.
Nope, nothing.
Hey, there he is.
There'’s the ghost.
Aaaah!
Where?
Ow.
He'’s so cute!
No, no, no, no!
Not cute, terrifying.
[Howling]
[Screaming]
MISERY: Not my great-great-
really-great-grandmother'’s
tablecloth!
[Gasping]
Well, isn'’t this awkward.
Hey, wait a minute.
I must be--
Could it be true?
I made ghost?
Well, technically, that whole
scary tablecloth bit was mine.
I'’m a ghost!
♪
Congratulations!
He'’s a ghost.
KIDS: Yay!
I'’m gonna go tell Mr. White
and Mr. White.
[Giggling]
♪
Stay tuned for this week'’s
chilling episode of "Cooking
with Dorothy."
See?
Doom'’s not crazy at all.
She'’s just being a cat.
Boo!
Hey, Boo Boo.
Yep, I'’m glad everything's back
to normal.
Boo.
Oh, hiya, Boo Boo.
Yeah, goes to show you.
There'’s no problem you can't
solve.
RUBY: Ruby'’s blooper reel.
[Footsteps racing]
DIRECTOR: And action.
Who are you and why are you--
Line.
Here.
No, I'’m not supposed to be
there, I'’m supposed to be here.
I know my blocking, Len.
I was at rehearsal.
No, "here."
"Why are you here?"
Len, I'’m here because I'm
saying my line.
Sheesh.
DIRECTOR: Frank and Len, Take
342.
And action.
Okay, line!
"Who are you and--"
Man, this business has really
got to you.
DIRECTOR: And action.
Are you sure, uh,
you'’re-not-bonky party-- bonko--
you'’re-not-honkers party--?
[Laughing]
Sorry, mister director.
♪