♪
RUBY: Okay, it'’s a movie.
Three words.
LEN: Bridges of Gloomsville.
Gloomsville Cop Academy.
Gloomsville Ghouls Five.
Len, stop yelling out every
single movie you'’ve ever seen.
Isn'’t that the point?
RUBY: I know!
It'’s a vampire movie.
Oh.
The Gloomsville Vampire.
Vampires from Mars.
No.
Oh, Really Scary Vampires.
Right, like your guesses were
any better.
RUBY: I'’ve got it.
There'’s a giant drooling monster
standing right behind us.
LEN: I haven'’t seen that
movie.
That'’ because it isn't a
movie.
[Snarling]
[Screaming]
Wait.
Is it my turn next or yours?
[Screaming]
[Growling]
[Chewing]
♪
♪ So today we'’re gonna ♪
♪ Take the time to show you
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom Ruby Gloom
♪
♪ We'’re gonna show you why ♪
♪ There'’s more than
meets the eye ♪
♪ The br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Only think you oughta
♪ No you really gotta
♪ See the br-br-bright side
of the dark side ♪
♪ Ruby Gloom Ruby Gloom
♪
[Grunting]
Early to bed, early to rise,
makes a crow healthy, wealthy,
and, need I say, wise.
Now, let'’s see.
No.
Nuh-uh.
Don'’t think so.
Aha!
[Grunting]
♪
Phew.
Now, to finish off with a few
stretches.
[Creaking]
Oh, no!
[Cracking]
Oh, my leg!
Oh, the agony!
The sheer torture!
The doughnut!
Oh.
Ruby!
Oh, Ru--
[Hemming]
Ruby!
♪
Almost there.
Just a smidge more.
Got it.
Mmm, mmm.
Quite delicious.
POE: It was just lucky that I
was able to swoop in with nary a
moment to spare and pull that
adorable little girl from the
clutches of that runaway steam
locomotive.
[Gasping]
ALL: Really?
No.
In this case, it involved some
overzealous stretching on my
part.
But one must stay limber, in
case one does encounter a
runaway steam locomotive.
Ha!
You'’re still a hero in my
eyes, Poe.
If there is anything you
need, Poe, just let us know.
Yeah, we'’re here to wait on
you claw and foot.
That is the very least we can
do for a hero.
Oh, thank you all, but I do
not want to be a burden.
Just go about your day as usual
and leave me to fend for myself.
In fact, I insist.
ALL: Okay.
SCAREDY: Oh.
See you.
Oh.
Hello?
Anyone?
[Echoing]
Half for me and half for
Squig.
[Metallic squeaking]
POE: Alas, it should be many
moons before I can fly again.
Oh-ho-ho, the pain.
Perhaps a nice hot cup of tea
would ease my suffering.
IRIS: Sure thing.
One nice hot cup of tea coming
up.
[Poe sobbing]
POE: I do hate to be a
bother, but in my dire
condition, I'’ll need that tea
hot, but not too hot, with just
a squeeze of lemon and two and a
half lumps, all right?
Yeah, anything for a hero.
[Very loud guitar riffing]
♪
[Poe knocking]
♪
Hello, hello?
Sorry to interrupt, but would
you mind terribly turning down
that infernal racket?
♪
Oh, the pain has now moved to my
neck.
Sure thing.
We'’ll be quiet.
[Quieter riffing]
Quieter.
[Even quieter riffing]
Just a tad more.
Perfect!
I had no idea you two gents were
so talented.
RUBY: It'’s nice of you to
make lunch for Poe.
This masterpiece is proof.
I must be related to the great
French chef Pierre Labierre.
POE: Oh, I fear the pangs of
hunger shall be my final
undoing.
Here you go, Poe.
Oh, thank you.
[Sighing]
No pickles?
[Sighing]
[Speaking French]
Okay, we'’ll make you some
soup.
A master chef descendant from
master chefs from the Cordon
Bleu does not make "zoop."
But I like "zoop."
[Needles clacking]
POE: I hate to be a bother,
dearest Ruby, but your knitting
needles are making my elbow
hurt.
Clack, clack, clack.
Could you please use some softer
needles?
Oh.
I'’m sorry.
Seems like you just need some
peace and quiet.
I wish I knew what to do for
you.
I have the perfect solution!
BOTH: You do?
POE: Oh!
Easy, easy.
Watch the arm.
The leg.
Where are you taking me, anyway?
SKULL BOY: Voila!
A room with a view!
POE: Here?
RUBY: Isn'’t it nice of Skull
Boy to give up his digs for you?
You'’ll get so much rest and
relaxation up here that you'’ll
be back to the old Poe in no
time.
Yes, but--
[Yelping]
You can use my telescope, if
you like.
It'’s amazing what you can see up
there.
All right.
Thank you.
RUBY: And there'’s a bell that
goes right into the kitchen, so
anything you need, just ring.
SKULL BOY: But not too much.
Ha-ha-ha.
Yes, ha-ha-ha.
Ha.
Like this?
[Clanging]
SCAREDY: Yipe!
Yes, just like that.
Do you think you'’ll be okay?
Me?
Of course.
I can keep a proper eye on
Gloomsville from up here.
RUBY: Great!
Remember, ring if you need me.
Oh, I'’m fully capable of
taking care of myself, Ruby.
No worries.
♪
[Ticking]
[Clanging]
Oh, my!
RUBY: Be right there, Poe.
What do you mean there'’s nothing
out there to see?
I can see a fire-breathing
dragon, two knights jousting,
and a one-eyed scorpion.
Clouds don'’t count.
Come on, Poe.
Give it a chance.
I guarantee it'’ll cheer you up.
[Poe sighing]
POE: There'’s nothing to see
but endless fields.
[Yawning]
Wait a minute.
I'’ve never noticed that glass
house before.
RUBY: Hey, there'’s a moving
van parked outside.
You know what that means.
The new neighbours could not
afford a luxury vehicle?
No, silly.
It means I'’ve got a welcome
wagon to organize.
Ah, yeah!
Cake!
Guys, if you were the ones
moving in, you'’d get a cake,
too.
Ruby wants us to move in?
The garage was getting pretty
cramped.
Let'’s get our things!
Killer.
FRANK: Coming through.
LEN: See you soon, roomies.
For me?
Oh, Ruby, you shouldn'’t have.
No, Iris.
It'’s a welcome cake for the new
neighbours.
Say hello to them for me.
Okay.
POE: Well, well.
Our new neighbour-- I shall call
him Mr.-- um-- let me see--
Mr.-- mmmm-- Mr. Mum-- be--
moombo-- mim-- mumbles, yes!
Our Mr. Mumbles certainly has a
lot of crates.
Perhaps he'’s a crate salesman.
Hmm.
Mr. Mumbles certainly knows how
to wield an axe.
Perhaps he'’s a lumberjack.
Mr. Mumbles certainly knows how
to work a guillotine.
[Gasping]
Guillotine?!
Our Mr. Mumbles is obviously in
the business of murder!
I must alert the house!
[Clanging]
I wonder what Poe could want.
I just brought him a snack 20
minutes ago.
Here, Scaredy, some warm
milk.
Calm zee nerves.
[Gulping]
It is not working.
We would need a bucket of this
to calm these nerves.
That'’s a great idea.
The warm milk will help Poe get
some rest.
[Sighing]
I'’m on my way.
What could possibly be
keeping everyone?
More crates!
Obviously containing further
instruments of Mr. Mumbles'’s
evil trade!
There'’s a crime practically in
progress!
[Squawking]
SCAREDY: I'’m coming, I'm
coming.
Did I forget to mention to Ruby
that I am most afraid of
heights?
POE: Oh, no!
If the guillotine doesn'’t work--
-- it appears Mr. Mumbles is
going to pummel his victims with
giant round things until he
drops them in a huge pot of
stew.
Though it does make one wonder
where he'’s going to find victims
willing to enter this glass
house of horror.
No!
Iris is about to be the first
victim!
Ah!
Oh.
Is that a chocolate cake?
Focus, Poe!
You must warn the house!
Iris needs you!
Danger!
[Clanging]
I wonder what could be
keeping Scaredy Bat from
reaching Poe.
MISERY: Oops.
[Ruby sighing]
Poe must have fallen asleep.
Poor little guy needs his rest.
Has anyone seen my potato
peeler?
Aaah!
Don'’t go inside, Iris!
Whatever you do, do not go
inside!
Why does no one in this house
ever listen to a word I say?
If only there was someone I
could dispatch.
Someone who could take flight
and rescue her on my behalf.
Oh, hello, Edgar.
No, there'’s no time to chat now.
Iris is in trouble.
Now, let'’s see.
Who to get, who to get?
Oh.
Well, what are you loafing
around for, Edgar?
You must fly over to the glass
house and warn Iris.
She'’s in danger most grave!
Be my wings.
Fly, fly like the wind!
Oh, no!
No, you'’re going too fast!
Stop!
It'’s a glass house, Edgar!
[Crashing]
That has to hurt.
Oh, dear.
Now, Mr. Mumbles has sabotaged
my only means of communication.
Danger!
[Gulping]
Well, Monsieur Skulls was
right.
Warm milk really calms frazzled
nerves.
Well, if you'’ll excuse me, I
must return to the kitchen to
get more milk.
We'’ll never be able to eat
all this.
Maybe our new neighbour would
like to join us for dinner.
Fantastique!
I will invite him to taste my
"skullinary" masterpiece!
While you'’re there, could you
fetch Iris?
You know how she'’s always
getting distracted.
On my way.
What?
An hair bow.
Oh, you monster!
Poor Iris.
No, not Skull Boy, too!
Hmm.
I never noticed what a big head
he has before.
I'’ve already lost one friend to
the evil Mr. Mumbles, I will not
lose another.
If no one will come to my aid,
then I shall take matters into
my own injured claws!
[Yelping]
I'’m coming!
Uh oh.
[Screaming]
Ow!
I hope Poe is okay.
Well, I'’m sure he'd ring if he
needed anything.
[Gasping]
Oh, no!
The string'’s been cut.
Oh, my!
Oh, dear.
Hey, Ruby, we'’re almost moved
in.
Yeah, we'’re totally looking
forward to our welcome cake.
RUBY: Uh, th-- that'’s great.
Coming, Poe!
[Tumbling]
Hey, cool sound.
Yeah.
MISERY: Ow.
Never fear, Skull Boy.
Your friend Poe is coming.
Finally!
Where have you been?
You must act fast, Skull Boy is
in grave danger!
This exact same thing
happened to my cousin.
She was so accident-prone they
locked her in the attic and she
went-- hoo-hoo.
I'’m not--
Come, I'’ll show you.
No!
Poor Skull Boy!
His head is just too big!
[Moaning]
RUBY: Hey, there'’s Allan.
No!
You'’re going too fast!
Watch out for the--!
[Crashing]
That has to hurt.
POE: Forget Allan.
Something nefarious is afoot and
we must put a stop--
[Very loud guitar riffing]
This must be our new pad.
Cool.
High ceilings.
Sorry, Poe.
You were saying something about
some fairies or something?
Not "fairies," "nefarious."
What'’s that mean?
[Hemming]
Suffice it to say, it'’s
really, really, really bad.
Okay.
We'’ll check it out.
Who'’s with me?
I'’m in.
Frank, I'’ll go, you stay.
Len, that doesn'’t make any
sense.
I'’m older--
POE: I don'’t care who goes!
Just hurry!
That'’s it!
Fear not, Iris and Skull Boy,
help is on the way!
What part of "nefarious" didn'’t
you understand?
Scaredy Bat!
Yes?
POE: You must help me get to
the glass house of doom so I can
save our friends from murder
most foul!
Fine, but we'’re leaving just as
soon as you wake up.
[Scaredy panting]
Oh, my!
Oh, dear.
POE: Are we there yet?
How '’bout now?
Any closer?
We are no further than the
last 20 times you'’ve asked!
D'’oh!
All the folly!
If you want something done
right, you must do it yourself.
Oh, no!
Poe, I'’m afraid you may hurt
yourself even worse.
Well, I-- see--
Oh, for pity'’s sake.
We just have to get there.
Did you eat more than usual
today?
It is just as I feared.
We are too late.
That is where Mr. Mumbles
commits his terrible crimes.
Time to put a stop to it once
and for all!
We must save our friends.
You first.
SCAREDY: "Friends" is such a
strong word.
They'’re really more
acquaintances.
Uh-- age before beauty?
Oh, must I do everything
myself?
[Gasping]
It'’s him!
[Screaming]
Well, hello there.
[Croaking]
Come, come.
The more the merrier.
♪
SKULL BOY: Cool, we must be
going under a tunnel!
What about the peril, the
danger?
Oh, don'’t be a worrywart,
sonny.
All the seats have cushions.
You go, dearie!
[Croaking]
Oh, it'’s an amusement park.
I'’m not amused.
Hey, what say we try my
latest ride, the Slingshot to
Silliness?
Oh, I will have to pass on
thaaaaat!
Whoa!
[Laughing]
RUBY: Well, I guess things
are not always as they appear.
I'’m just glad things are finally
back to normal, and we'’ll all
have a little peace and quiet--
[Very loud guitar riffing]
SKULL BOY: Please get out of
my room!
LEN: But there'’s lots of
space for all us roomies.
SKULL BOY: You'’re not my
roomies!
I'’m on it.
[Sighing]
Lessons in being a ghost, part
one: scare tactics.
[Screaming]
Boo!
Hey, Boo Boo.
[Sighing]
[Yawning]
BOO BOO: Boo-oo-oo-oo!
Night, Boo Boo.
[Radio singing]
[Creaking]
Sleep tight, Boo Boo.
[Yawning]
[Boo Boo screaming]
[Scaredy screaming]
[Alternating screaming]
They make the perfect pair.
♪