- SAM: Hold still-- - Come on, Gibby.
- Two more toes to go, Gibby. - Carly, let go.
- Get a grip of yourself. - All right, Gibby.
- Aw, Gibby, you got toe blood on my hand.
- And that proves it's a bad idea
to let two blindfolded girls clip your toenails.
- Ain't that the truth.
- CARLY: Okay, you know what we're gonna do next?
- Massage the elderly? - Not today.
- Darn.
- We're gonna answer questions from our viewers.
- Here at iCarly, we get about 4,000 e-mails a week.
- And about half of those e-mails are sent in
by one guy named Chad from Wisconsin.
- What's the matter with you, Chad?
- CARLY: Don't be mean, Chad loves us.
- Yeah, and I love pork, but you don't see me
sending 2,000 e-mails a week to Mr. Piggles.
- Who's Mr. Piggles?
- The spokespig for the pork of the month club.
- I'm delicious.
- [growls] - Put the pig away.
- Okay, so our fan Chad asked Sam, Freddie and I
if we would each draw a picture of a bunny
and show 'em right here on iCarly.
- You got a lot of problems, Chad.
- But we did draw bunnies just for you.
So first, let's take a look at Freddie's bunny.
- Give me that camera, boy. - FREDDIE: Here.
- Hello. - Too close.
- Yeah.
- And now Freddie will show you his special bunny.
- Here we go. Heyo.
- CARLY: Nice, I'd say that bunny deserves a...
- [cheering]
- I hope you enjoyed my bunny, Chad.
- Here, take your thing.
And now, my bunny...
- [applause]
- Why is your bunny in jail?
- He robbed a gas station.
Okay, let's take a look at Carly's bunny.
Carls... - Okay. This is for you, Chad.
- [booing]
- Quit it. Stop laughing.
- But it's horrible.
- No, it's not. - It's pretty bad, kid.
- Okay, we're out of time.
- Well, it's only-- - Bye.
- Later. - Sorry about my bunny.
- We're all sorry.
- And we're clear.
- You guys are so mean. - Look at it.
- FREDDIE: How can you be related to a great artist
like Spencer and draw that?
- SAM: Oh, give her a break.
Maybe her bunny was in a terrible accident.
- That's it.
No one's allowed to look at my bunny ever again.
- Oh, we're just playin'. - SAM: Yeah.
It's actually kind of cute. - Thanks.
It's a lot better than the first bunny I drew.
- That cannot be possible. - No, it's possible.
- Why is your bunny wearing fuzzy slippers?
- Those are his feet.
- Why does he have two bullet holes in his head?
- Those are his eyes.
- Well, why is he carrying a hose?
- 'Cause he's on his way to his part-time job
as a volunteer firefighter.
- FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two...
- CARLY: ♪ I know, you see ♪
♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪
- ♪ And be so wonderful ♪
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪
- ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
♪ It's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪
♪ So wake up, the members of my nation ♪
- ♪ It's your time to be ♪
♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪
♪ And a time to see the brighter side...♪
♪...of every situation ♪
♪ Some things are meant to be so give it your best...♪
♪...and leave the rest to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me ♪ - ♪ Leave it all to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me ♪ ♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
- ♪
- Hey, you there, stop.
- Oh, hey, Mr. Howard.
- You know the rules.
You are required to wear a shirt
during school hours.
- Nuh-uh. Check the student handbook.
- Handbook.
- Page 74. - I know where it is.
Let's see. Aha.
No tube tops, no jolly pants, no turtlenecks.
- Doesn't say I got to wear a shirt, does it?
- [growls]
- Carry on.
- Hey, you guys got any lotion?
- Uh, no. - No, not really.
- You guys-- what are you doing?
Get out of my way.
Oh man, you guys aren't gonna believe this.
- Your mom got a job? - Okay, let's not get crazy.
- What happened?
- Richard Weitz is moving to Switzerland.
- Really? - Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Richard Weitz has locker 239. - Had, baby, had.
- Hey, you got any lotion? - No.
- So locker 239 is available? - Yup.
- In the middle of a school year?
- First time ever. - That's insane.
- Wow, arriba.
- What's the big deal about locker 239?
- What? - Oh.
- It's the best locker in the whole school.
- Why? - First of all, it's huge.
- Huge?
- See, when they were building Ridgeway,
some worker screwed up and ordered a locker
that's four times the size of a regular locker.
- That's huge.
- CARLY: And it's right next to a big window.
- A locker with a view.
- And the cheerleaders walk right past it
on their way to practice.
- A locker with a view. - Oh, yeah.
- Right, like cheerleaders wanna view the two of you.
- So when do we find out who gets the locker?
- This week.
Principal Franklin's gonna have some kind of contest.
- Carly, Carly Shay. - Yeah?
- Wearing a turtleneck is a violation of school rules.
- Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck, but he can be shirtless?
- Check the handbook.
- ♪
- Hey, kiddo. - Hey, adulto.
- What goes on?
- Just writing a paper for school.
Did you fix the printer? - Sure did.
And you can print wirelessly now.
- CARLY: Really? - Yeah, try it out.
- Okay. Command P.
- Aah.
- Wow, and I can do that wirelessly now.
- Sorry. - It's cool.
Hey, you got a minute? - Sure, what's up?
- I wanna talk to you about something.
- You didn't go to my room, did you?
- No.
- Okay.
So what are we talking about?
- Um, how would you feel about giving me art lessons?
- I would love to.
When did you get interested in art?
- Well, see, the other day I drew a bunny and Sam and Fred--
- You drew a bunny? - Yeah, kind of.
- Show me. - I don't want to.
- Come on, show me your bunny. - Okay.
Well, say something.
- I don't think I should.
I'm kidding. - Just forget it.
- But I was--this isn't bad.
- It's not? - No, it's bad.
But it shows that you have artistic potential.
- It does? - No.
But it does show that you're capable
of holding a pencil and that's enough for me
to teach you how to be a great artist.
- Okay, and it's better than the first bunny I drew.
See?
- He's a part-time volunteer fireman?
- Thank you.
- ♪
- Just look at it. - Oh, I need that locker.
- Just standing next to it makes me feel like a princess.
Salami?
- No, thanks, Princess Puckett.
- Haah, what a locker.
- SAM and FREDDIE: I know.
- It makes me feel sad for lesser lockers.
- I could fit a whole editing bay in there.
- You could fit a body in there...
If one needed to.
- FRANKLIN: Testing, one, two, testing, testing mic.
Microphone, microphone, microphone, mic.
All right students, as you know, we're having a contest to see
which lucky one of you will get locker 239.
- Yeah.
- Okay. Settle down. Settle down.
Now, as you can see, this large glass tank contains
many individually wrapped fat cakes.
- Fat cakes, yeah!
- Now, the student who guesses closest
to the exact number of fat cakes in this tank wins locker 239.
Gibby, do you have a question?
- Yes.
How many fat cakes are in that tank?
- Oh, Gibby, there's so much not right about you.
All right, take a look at the tank, write down your name
and your guess on one of these blue cards
and drop it into the decorative box.
- You got a plan? - Totally.
I'm gonna measure the tank, calculate the internal volume,
then I'm gonna evaluate the mass of a single fat cake
and use linear algebra to--
- I got it. - Oh, right.
- You already have your guess?
- Oh, that's not a guess. I got the answer.
- How? - Mama knows her fat cakes.
- Come on, you can't figure it out
without some kind of method.
- Gibby has a method.
- Gibby, what are you doing?
- My thing.
- ♪
- Carly, wake up. - Ahhh!
What time is it?
- I don't know, like 2:30 in the morning.
Are you ready to draw? - Draw?
What are you talking about? - Art.
- Wait, why do you want me to draw now?
- 'Cause I was in my room, almost asleep,
and I remembered that I left my keys in my motorcycle.
So I grabbed a flashlight, went downstairs barefoot.
And as I was walking through the parking lot
towards my bike, I stepped in something gooey and disgusting.
- What did you step in? - I don't know.
But it's thick, sticky and green.
Look how it catches the light.
- So? - So I want you to draw it.
Go get your colored pens and hurry
'cause it's starting to burn.
- I'm not drawing your sticky green foot
at 2:30 in the morning. - But look how it glistens.
- No. - Why?
- 'Cause you kept me up all last night lecturing me
about the history of yellow.
And then today, you made me sit in the park
and draw hobos for three hours.
I need to sleep.
- Come on, just draw my foot. - I'm going to bed.
- Thought you wanted to be an artist.
- Good night, Spencer. - Look at my foot.
I think it's starting to sizzle!
- ♪
- FRANKLIN: Attention, please. Students, attention.
I hold in my hand the name of the lucky student
who will get locker 239.
- Where's Carly? - She overslept this morning.
- Now, before I announce the winner...
- Please be Gibby. Please be Gibby.
- I feel compelled to tell you the worst guess which was five.
- I won? I won.
- No, Gibby. You didn't win.
In fact, your guess was so far off,
we're calling your parents and having you tested.
- Again?
- Say the winner!
- The winner of locker 239 is Freddie Benson.
- Yes. Yeah. Up top.
- FRANKLIN: Freddie's guess was exactly correct.
2,718 fat cakes.
- Haaa!
In your face, you blonde-headed demon.
- Wait, hold on a second. - Huh?
- FRANKLIN: It seems another student has also guessed
the number correctly.
- Oh no.
- And the other winner who will share locker 239
with Freddie is Sam Puckett.
- Owww. Oh yeah, Sam's a winner.
Sam Puckett is a winner yet again, Fredward.
Told ya, mama knows fat cakes.
Oh yeah, thank you. High-five, up top.
Oh yeah, you too, high-five.
- SPENCER: Okay, okay, now put that spatula right there
next to that spatula.
No, no, that spatula.
No, that spatula. No, the spatula next--
- What does this have to do with drawing?
- I told you, if you learn to work
with three-dimensional art, it makes drawing
two-dimensional art much easier.
- Can I go do my homework? - Later.
Now tighten down that ball-peen bracket.
- I don't know what a ball bean bracket looks like.
- Peen!
- I don't know what a ball-peen bracket looks like, you happy?
- Well.
Someone's an irritable little teenager, isn't she?
- CARLY: Okay. You know what? I'm done.
- What's that mean? - I don't wanna do this anymore.
I only asked you for art lessons 'cause I thought
you could teach me how to draw a bunny.
But let's just forget it. Forget it.
- Okay, that's cool. I get it. - What do you get?
- That you think I'm a terrible person.
- I didn't say that. - You didn't have to.
- ♪
- Told you to tighten the ball-peen bracket.
Peen!
- ♪
- Hi. - Hello, Carly.
- What are you sculpting? - My feelings.
- Come on, could you stop being mad at me?
- Why would I be mad?
Should a person be mad just 'cause his little sister
calls him a terrible teacher and refuses to tighten
a ball-peen bracket?
I'm not mad.
- Ugh, when did you turn into my wife?
- Oh, so now I'm a lady. - I'm going upstairs.
- Wait, what is this? - Nothing.
- Give it. - No. Don't--
- What is this, a sketch pad? - [screaming]
- Give it to me. - Ah, get off.
Why do you have this sketch pad? - It's not mine.
I'm just holding it for a friend.
Okay, I'm taking an art class at the Community Center.
- Oh my God. - Spencer--
- You got yourself another art teacher?
- CARLY: Don't be all hurt.
I didn't even want you to find out.
- How would I not find out with you flaunting
your sketch pad around like it's some kind of parade float?
- You yanked it out of my backpack.
And anyway, I told you I just wanted to learn
how to draw a bunny.
- Well you could've learned how from me.
- Ok, you know what, you're a sculptor.
What do you even know about drawing bunnies?
- ♪
- What are you-- - Cut.
- Why are you-- - Yeah.
- Okay, that's a top-notch bunny.
- ♪
- Okay, what is going on-- - Not now.
Ooh, super solo.
Dude, what up? - What did you do to my locker?
- My locker. - Our locker.
- When did you turn into my wife?
- Sam-- - I made it into a hangout.
- You're gonna get us in trouble.
- Look, check out what I did.
- ELECTRONIC VOICE: Random dancing.
- Sam. Sam.
- ELECTRONIC VOICE: Random dancing.
- Sam.
- Teacher.
- ♪
- ELECTRONIC VOICE: Random--
- Come with me. - Aww.
- ♪
- MS. FIELDER: Okay, people, today we're gonna continue
our work with straight lines.
But this time, instead of using
colored pencils, we're going to be using paint.
And by the way, I was very pleased
with your line drawings from the last class,
especially Carly's.
- Wow, thanks.
- Hi, can I help you?
- Yes, I was wondering if I could sit in
and observe your art class tonight.
- MS. FIELDER: Uh, sure, why not?
Take a seat wherever you like. - Wonderful.
- What are you doing here?
- I just wanted to see what a good art teacher's like.
- Please leave. - I don't want to leave.
- MS. FIELDER: Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me!
- Carly, do you know this person?
- No. - Yep.
- This is my brother, Spencer. - What's up?
- MS. FIELDER: Spencer, if you're gonna sit in
on my class, please be quiet. - Sure.
- MS. FIELDER: Now, I'd like you all to begin
by picking a color and painting four straight lines.
- Four straight lines.
- Yes, Miriam? - Should we connect the lines?
- Whoa, slow down. That's next week.
- Uh.
- Is there a problem? - Oh, no.
No, I'm just so excited to see everyone paint
four straight lines, go art!
- Will you be quiet?
- MS. FIELDER: Do you have some problem with the way
I'm running my class?
- Since you asked, how does painting straight lines
help someone learn art?
- It teaches patience and control,
two things you seem to be lacking.
- Oooh.
- Okay, we were gonna paint lines?
Let's do that now.
- SPENCER: Why don't you teach these people
about being creative and spontaneous and passionate?
- Anyone wanna go to the park with me?
We can jump rope with hobos.
- You wanna see creative, passionate painting?
- Why can't my life be normal? I'm a good person.
- Let me show you how a real artist does it.
- Don't you dare--
- This is gonna get worse before it gets better.
- ♪
- Get in here!
I can't believe you did that.
I'm never gonna be allowed back in that community center
ever again.
- You're overreacting.
- No, the head of security said: "You're never allowed back
in this Community Center ever again".
- People forget.
- They took our pictures and thumbprints.
- Yeah, they're never lettin' us back in that place.
- Why? Why would you embarrass me?
- I don't know. 'cause I'm a big jerk.
And I think I got paint up my nose.
- You deserve paint up your nose.
- SPENCER: Look, if I swear not to get all psycho,
will you let me teach you how to draw?
- A bunny?
- Maybe you should start with a hamster.
Hug? - After you take a shower.
- [knock on door]
- Ms. Fielder? - MS. FIELDER: May I come in?
- Sure.
How'd you know where I live?
- I followed your brother's paint trail.
- Look, I'm really sorry-- - No, you were right.
To be a real artist, you need to be
spontaneous and passionate.
They don't teach you that in art school.
Maybe you could teach me.
- Well, I have been told I'm an excellent teacher.
- By who?
- I'm sorry I painted your mouth red.
- I'm sorry I painted your mouth blue.
- Wanna make purple? - Please.
- Okay, I don't understand art at all.
- ♪
- FREDDIE: Hey, I can't get our locker open.
- I know. I changed the combination.
- Why?
- I thought it might irritate you.
- Okay, that's it, I can't share this locker with you anymore.
- Look, why don't we talk about this later, okay?
- No, why don't we talk about this--
- Dude, my mom just had laser eye surgery
this afternoon and she's coming to pick me up
so I gotta get outside. - This won't take long.
I am prepared to offer you-- wait, your mom
had laser eye surgery today and she's driving a car?
- I didn't say she makes good decisions.
- And you're getting in the car with her?
- I didn't say I make good decisions.
Now what about this offer? - Oh, yeah.
I am prepared to offer you 200 bucks for your half
of the locker.
- Pfft. Done. - Done?
- Yeah, why?
- Well, I thought you'd ask for more.
- Nah, I've been missing having a locker next to Carly,
so I was gonna give you that one anyway.
- Wait, well, if you were gonna give me the locker anyway,
then I want my money back--
- [horn honking] - There's my mom now.
Nice drivin', Mom.
Later.
- [horn honks] - [distant screams]
- [distant tire screeching]
- Goodbye, locker 239...
And my money.
- Aah!
[no audible speech]
- [police siren wailing]
- Aah!
- ♪
- Hey! - Here's 17 reasons why iCarly.com rocks.
- It's way funny. - Carly's hot.
- Awesome videos.
- It's free.
- No charge. - It's available 24/7.
- Cool pics. - Killer music.
- Funny blogs. - Carly's hot.
- Stop it. - I can't.
- There's new stuff, new every week.
- And that's 17 reasons...
- ...why iCarly.com...
- BOTH: Rocks.
- [ding] - MAN: Mmm!
- [bubbling]