- And here we have the hazelnut,
which is a cousin of the macadamia nut.
Oh, and this is the kayla nut,
named after princess Kayla Dupree, who became famous
for throwing nuts at poor people.
- Okay, that's all the time we have for, Gibby. [inaudible dialogue]
- But I'm not done yet.
- Yeah, you are. Take care.
- Now, you may be asking yourself:
"Do Carly and Sam care about science?"
Both: No!
- But we do think it might be fun to watch Food Rot.
- Which is why we'd like to introduce a new iCarly segment called...
Both: Let's watch Food Rot.
- [applause]
- Now, come check out what we did to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
- Okay, Sam and I dismantled
this peanut butter and jelly sandwich
that Sam took from some kid at school.
- Yeah, I'm the kid.
Both: Gibby.
- Now, our awesome technical producer--
- Fredalupe.
- --has installed a special camera that will constantly record this sandwich over the next four weeks.
- Mmm, 24/7.
- And when the four weeks are up...
- ...Freddie's gonna speed up the video...
- ...so we can show you the rotting of the sandwich...
- ...in only 30 seconds. - So if you're a loser...
- ...at least you got that to look forward to.
- Okay. - That's all for this iCarly.
- CARLY: 'Til next time. Both: Bye.
- And we're clear.
- Oh. - Yes.
- Yeah. - Good show, guys.
What up with this "Fredalupe" business?
- Hey, Gibby, are you ready?
- GIBBY: Oh, hey. Uh, just a sec.
Let me grab my briefcase.
- That's Tasha?
- Uh-huh.
- And you're dating her?
- Yeah, pretty much.
Let's hit it.
- I told you she was hot.
- Yeah, but you didn't say she was that hot.
- How does he get one of those? I want one of those.
In five, four, three, two...
- ♪
- CARLY: ♪ I know you see ♪
♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪
♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
♪ It's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪
♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪
♪ It's your time to be ♪
♪ There's no change unless you take one ♪
♪ It's the time to see the brighter side ♪
♪ Of every situation ♪
♪ Some things are meant to be, so give your best ♪
♪ And leave the rest to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me, leave it all to me ♪
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
♪
- ♪
- Hey.
- Hi.
- What's going on?
- I'm shredding newspapers with an industrial gasoline-powered paper shredder.
How was school?
- I don't remember or care.
Man, why do they even make these things anymore?
- Some people still read newspapers.
- Yeah, hobos and the elderly.
- So why are you industrially shredding newspapers?
- 'Cause that snooty art critic Oliver Dixon
from the Seattle Tribune wrote a mean review of my sculptures.
- He did? - That jerk.
- Yeah, so I grabbed as many of these as I could find
and now I'm making Oliver Dixon's review feel this.
That felt nice.
- Man, look at all the-- Holy chiz on a chizel.
- What?
- "Spencer Shay of Seattle
died of natural causes last Saturday."
- It doesn't say that.
It says that.
- Nice!
First, they insult my art and then they call me dead,
which, incidentally, I'm not.
- Are you gonna call the Tribune and yell at 'em?
- Nah, who cares? People don't read newspapers anymore.
- Hey.
Uh, my mom can't find our newspaper.
You guys seen it?
- ♪
- All right, have fun at school.
I'll miss you. - You don't have to miss me.
- Huh? - Check your phone.
- New video message?
- Click it.
What's up, Tasha?
Who's thinkin' about you?
That's right.
This guy.
- Aw, that is so sweet.
- Yeah.
- Hey, home-fries. - Hi.
- So, you guys comin' to Carly's hobo party?
- That sounds so fun.
- How great is her attitude?
Come on, I'll walk you to your car.
- 'Kay.
- How? - I...
- I don't know. - I don't know.
- Hey. - Howdy.
- You play the ukulele?
- Yeah, a little.
- Wow, that's never been established.
So Spencer's still mad about the newspaper saying he was dead?
- Nah, he was way more bummed
about the bad review of his sculptures.
- So where is Spence?
- He went to the Seattle Civic Center
to help out that charity, the Angels of Seattle.
They're teaching sculpting to underprivileged kids.
- Nice. You know, my mom was an angel for a while
'til they kicked her out. - Why?
- They hated her. - Ah.
- Hey, I gotta go up to the studio and update some firmware on our server.
- Have fun, captain techno.
- [knocking] - CARLY: Coming.
- Carly.
- Oh, hey, mister...
- Klemish, one apartment down.
- Right. 7-C.
- Yes. I came by to-- - FREDDIE: Hey, the door's locked.
- The key is on top of the thingy! My friend Freddie is trying to-- - FREDDIE: I can't find it.
- Come in. I'll be right back.
What's the matter with you?!
- [phone ringing]
- Hi.
No, I'm making a condolence call.
Oh, a young artist named Spencer Shay
who died last Saturday.
His poor little sister.
Yeah, just order me a turkey sandwich
with mustard and pickles.
- Hey. Sorry. My friend Freddie was bein' spazzy.
So what's up?
- I was so sorry to read about Spencer in the paper.
- Oh, yeah. It was really negative, wasn't it?
- Yes, well, uh, but--
- I mean, I guess that happens to every artist
sooner or later, right?
- I suppose.
But this was so soon, too-- So unexpected.
- Yeah, Spencer sure didn't expect it.
But he's all right now.
He's sculpting with the angels.
- That's a great way to look at it.
Uh, I don't know if Spencer told you,
but I talked to him about buying his pencil sculpture before he--
You know. - Oh.
You mean... this one?
- Yes.
- Well, did you and Spencer agree on a price?
- Not really.
He mentioned 500, but we were still discussing it.
- Oh. Well, shoot, I wish he was here.
- Oh, we all wish Spencer was here.
- [buzzer] - One sec.
What, Lewbert?
- LEWBERT: Delivery comin' up in the elevator.
- Okay.
- LEWBERT: [babbling]
Anyway, if Spencer said 500, I'm sure...
- You know what?
I'm just gonna give you 2,000 for it.
- 2,000?
- Yes.
When artists are gone,
their artwork becomes much more valuable.
- Right, right. What?
- I'm so sorry.
- What do you mean by...
- Hi. Flowers for Carly Shay.
- That's me.
- I'm sorry for your loss.
- What'd I lose? - Aw.
- Hay-dee ho-dee doober.
- Hi.
- Who are the flowers from?
- I don't know. I didn't read the card yet.
- Here.
"Carly, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Spencer will be dearly missed. Principal Franklin."
That's weird. It sounds like he thinks that--
- You're dead! - Say what?
- The obituary in the paper. People think you're dead.
- Ah, that's it.
I'm gonna call that newspaper.
- Now I know why Mr. Klemish gave me $2,000
for your pencil sculpture.
- What? 2,000 what?
- Two g's.
- But I told Klemish I'd probably sell it
for around 500.
- Well, he said artists get more money for their work
after they're dead.
- [phone ringing]
- Hello?
No, I'm sorry, Spencer is dead.
- ♪
- CARLY: Thanks, thanks for coming to my hobo party.
Thanks. Bye. See you, guys.
- I heard the door slam. Party over?
- Yes, you can come out now.
- Yay, I'm starved.
Oh.
- Why didn't you just come out during the party?
- 'Cause I'm dead.
Don't poke me.
- He's not dead.
He's just pretending to be so he can trick people
into spending more money for his art.
- It was not my idea.
I'm a victim of poor newspapermanship.
- [gibberish]
- Hey, you want us to help you clean up?
- Thanks, sure.
- I'll check and see if the couch is okay.
Aahh, this might take a while.
- Hey, will you help me with something?
- Sure.
- You know, Gibby's birthday is next week.
- Yeah, he handed out these flyers.
- Well, I wanna get him a video camera.
Can you give me some advice?
- Yeah, I got a little one up in the studio that'd be perfect.
Come on up, I'll show you. - Okay.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, so this is Gibby's girlfriend?
- Yeah. - Uh-huh.
- Interesting. Why?!
- ♪
- See? Palm size, with an optical zoom,
flash memory.
It's got 720p high-def, it can also take--
- Gibby likes to make videos of his cat.
Is it good for that?
- Yes, it works on cats. - Oh, awesome.
- [phone rings] - Oh, Gibby's looking for me.
I should get back downstairs.
Um, why don't you e-mail me-- - Oh...
- FREDDIE: You all right? - TASHA: I'm just a klutz.
- What?! What?!
- It's not what you think.
- I invite you to my friend's house--
- Gibby.
- --I bring you an ice cream cone,
and you do that to me?!
- We were just-- - You shut your mouth, Benson!
I don't need your details.
- You don't understand.
- I saw what I saw.
You betrayed me.
You both betrayed me.
- Gibby. - Listen. It didn't happen like that. - No, you listen, nerd!
- Nerd?
- I'm gonna beat you down.
Friday, behind the gym, at 3:02.
And bring a mop for your blood.
- 02?
- ♪
[school bell ringing]
- Hey. - Hey, Fredwich. - Hi. What's wrong?
- Gibby texted me ten times today.
- What did he text you?
- "I'm going to make you bleed...
- "...on Friday...
- ...at 3:02."
- "I love you, mom."
- "Wait, that last text wasn't for you.
It was for my mom."
Well, that's what you get for mackin' on his girlfriend.
- We fell.
- We know. - I know.
- And I'm not gonna fight Gibby.
I don't wanna hurt the kid.
- [giggling]
- I could beat up Gibby if I wanted to, right?
- That's a pretty shirt.
Well, Gibby is kind of thick.
- Whatever. I'm gonna go talk to him.
- You can't.
He stayed home from school today.
- How come?
- Freddie Benson...
mackin' on my girlfriend...
betrayin' me.
Unacceptable.
Feel me?
- Gibby, I made you some lemonade.
- No drinks! - [yelps]
- ♪
- Spencer, we're back.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Awesome.
Did you, uh, get the...
- Yes, I got them.
- Yeah. I love sizzle rocks.
Mmm.
Sam, listen, you can hear 'em crackle in my mouth.
- Get your face off my ear.
- You know, I'm getting a bad feeling
about you pretending to be dead
just so you can get more money for your art.
- A, the newspaper said I was dead, not me.
B, look at these.
- Whoa. - Dude.
- Where did you get that?
- Socko sold three more of my sculptures today.
People are buying them for five times more money
just 'cause I'm dead.
- But you're not dead.
- That isn't my fault.
- Look, if people are dumb enough to think art
is worth more money just 'cause the artist is dead,
that's their problem.
- But still, isn't that taking advantage of people?
- I see nothing wrong with taking advantage of the stupid.
- That's why we have stupid people.
- [doorbell]
- Ooh, that could be an art customer.
- Hi.
- Hello. I'm Oliver Dixon.
I'm the art critic from the Seattle Tribune.
- Oh, you're the one who wrote that mean review
about Spencer's sculptures.
- Yes. May I please...
- You know, you got a lot of nerve coming here
after writing that stuff about Spencer.
- He was so upset, he died.
- Yeah, his last words were: "Why, Oliver Dixon? Why?"
- So what do you want?
- Well, to express my condolences and actually
I would like to buy one of Spencer's sculptures
if I could.
- I thought you hated his art.
- I do--I did.
But when Spencer passed, I looked at his sculptures again
and realized I was wrong.
They're whimsical and inspired.
- Well, it's too bad Spencer had to die
for you to get that he's an awesome artist.
- [phone ringing]
- Hey, I just got an idea.
Why don't you write another article about Spencer
saying how fantastic his artwork is?
- That would lessen my pain.
- Oh, oh, then I'll do it.
I'll text my editor and let her know.
- Thank you. - Good.
Let's get some real money out of this guy.
- Yeah, that's my girl.
- So you wanna buy one of Spencer's sculptures?
- 'Cause she'd be willing to sell this one.
- Oh, that's very dynamic.
Uh, 2,000?
- 4,000.
- Oh, I can't afford four-- - You killed my brother.
- 4,000 is fine. I'll...
- ♪
- Gibby.
Listen, this whole thing has gotten way outta--
That was a chai latte.
- Well, I'm gonna make you a die latte.
Yeah, I said it.
- Nothing happened between me and Tasha.
I was just talking to her and she--
- And you lost control and tried to kiss her up.
I'm gonna break you.
- Come on, Gib.
Time to train, kid.
- Good.
- You're training him to fight me? Why?
- 'Cause Carly asked me to go over to his house
and talk him out of fighting you--
- To no avail.
- Oh, and the fight's not gonna be behind the gym anymore.
- There's been a change of venue.
- To where? - iCarly.
You and Gibby are gonna swing it out live on the web.
- Why?
- 'Cause who wouldn't wanna watch Gibby
pound the fudge out of you?
Let's go, Gib.
- Say bye-bye to your fudge.
- SAM: Gibby!
- Comin'.
- My fudge.
- ♪
- One spoon, two spoons.
Whoa, three spoons, four spoons, five spoons.
This is not entertaining.
- Hey. - Carly, come here.
Come interact with me.
- What's the matter with you?
- I can't take being dead anymore.
Being dead is so boring.
- Then quit being dead.
- But I'm finally having the art career
I always dreamed of.
- And it's worth hiding in our apartment 24/7?
- I thought so, but then I was reduced
to counting spoons.
- [doorbell] - That could be a customer.
- CARLY: Oh, Spencer. - SPENCER: Get the door, get the door, get the door.
- Carly? - Veronica?
- Yeah. I didn't know if you'd remember me.
- How can I not remember a girl
my brother was totally in love with?
You know, 'til you dumped him.
- Yeah.
I, um, I heard about Spencer's passing.
I just can't believe he's gone.
- Oh, are the dead really ever gone?
- You know, I used to think that he was so crazy and too loud.
- Too loud?
- And that whole tux thing was so bizarre.
- Yeah.
- But Spencer was just a creative, fun spirit.
I wish I could just hold him one more time.
- You can hold me.
- [screams]
- I'm not dead. See?
I was just pretending so my sculptures
would be worth more!
- You're insane!
- Why am I enjoying this?
- No! No, no, no.
I'm a creative, fun spirit that can learn to be less loud.
Wait, wait...
[whispers] I can learn to be less loud.
No, wait.
Don't go, don't go, don't, don't.
I'm not Spencer.
I'm his twin brother, Spuncer.
- VERONICA: You're sick.
- SPENCER: Really! We could do a blood test.
- If you did have a twin brother,
why would his name need to sound similar to yours?
- ♪
- Are you really gonna do this?
- Well, I can't back down.
- Gibby.
- He betrayed me!
- Hi, Tasha.
- Hi.
- What are you doin' here? - I miss you.
Nothing happened with me and Freddie.
- Yeah, tell your story walkin'.
- Can I stay and watch the show?
- Yeah, sure. - I don't care.
- Here we go.
In five, four, three--
--three - Freddie.
- --Two...
- I'm Frank. - I'm a Toaster.
- And this is The Frank and Toaster Show.
- J-K. - This is iCarly.
- And it's fight night.
- For the record, I'm totally against this.
- I'm not.
Tonight, live on iCarly, you're gonna see
an all-out bare knuckle boy fight between Gibby...
- ...and our very own technical producer, Freddie.
- FREDDIE: That's not the photo I approved.
- And once the dumb fight is over...
- ...I'll call Freddie an ambulance.
- I was gonna say we'll be checking in
on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich
that's been rotting here for over a week,
constantly recorded by Freddie's surveillance camera.
- Wait.
Uh, Tasha, hold the camera.
- Apparently, Freddie's lost his mind,
so we're just gonna try to--
- I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner.
Uh, Tasha, over here.
See, the reason Gibby wants to fight me
is that he thinks I tried to kiss his girlfriend.
- I've seen it with my own eyes.
- Yeah, well, the rotting sandwich cam
saw it too.
So now take a look at what really happened.
See, Gibby?
Tasha tripped and we fell.
That's all.
- Man, I feel like a turd.
- Yay, no fight.
- iCarly, where we make food rot...
- ...and rebuild relationships. - Yeah, um, we're gonna take a little break here...
- ...so please enjoy this emergency pre-taped video
of my brother Spencer filling a sock with raw hamburger meat.
- ♪
- I'm sorry I acted so turdy.
Bros?
- Bros.
- What about me?
- You're back in.
- Oh, thank you.
- Hey, hey, hey. Later.
- Okay.
- Gibby gone.
- How does he get her?
- There's gotta be somethin' wrong with that chick.
- Oh, come on.
Gibby's sweet and cute and fun
and there's gotta be something wrong with that chick.
- ♪
- Hi, I'm Sierra
and I'm gonna make my brother Jack disappear.
- Huh?
- Ta-da.
All right, all right, I'll bring him back.
- I hate it when you do that!
I'm telling!
- [timer dings] - MAN: Mmm!
- ♪