- What are we gonna do? - Oh, man, I don't know.
Let post fix it. - Miranda.
- Oh, God.
- Sneezed, tissue. - I got it, I got it.
- Thanks. - It's always a pleasure.
- Everything ready? - Yeah. We got the video cued on the studio set.
- Cool. Bring Jerry, okay?
- You got it. Bring Jerry to set.
- Miranda, I have Dan Schneider on the phone for you. He says it's really important.
- Take a message.
- Hey, Dan, yeah, she's busy.
- Hey, Miranda, cucumber or brick?
- Brick.
- We're going with the brick.
- GUY: Miranda likes the brick.
- Hey, I have Jerry.
- What's goin' on? - Just sit.
- Uh...Did I do something wrong?
'Cause I really need this job.
- Look, Jerry, I-- - You know I love playing Spencer.
- I know. I just need to talk to you about something.
- Yeah, I also really need the money. I just leased a new car
and my dog has a thyroid condition
that's really expensive to treat.
- I'm not firing you.
- Whew. Thanks.
- You just gotta start working a little harder in rehearsal.
- What do you mean?
- You've been messing up too much.
- I have--No, I haven't.
- Haven't you?
- Well...
- Maybe you need to take a look at this.
- Take a look at what? What is going on?
I was just in the bathroom and--
- Shh.
- Um, but almost definitely sour cream.
Hold, uh--sour milk.
- I didn't say they were hot.
- Dan, you didn't say--dyoods.
- [speaking gibberish]
- I know you guys are mad I wouldn't let you go to the fight but...
Sorry, I don't know what line to say.
- FREDDIE: Why are you drinking Ketchup?
- My magic meatball told me to.
And the rescue of the horklops
from the planet Jooveron!
- That--!
- I'm gonna use the word "flawless."
Proton missiles set to--
What's the line?
- What was that crash? - We're fine.
The elevator just fell nine stories to the...
- To the what? - The basement.
It's in the basement.
- Can you show me where that is?
- It's on the stairs. - I'll take those.
- That's a really old video game
from like the last century.
One of the most pop--
I don't know what to say anymore.
But, I have a got a wagon full of dog parts
and a big bag of dog hair...
- DIRECTOR: Hold.
- I got a wagon full of dog parts apparently.
Talk's cheap chot--toder?
- That's not his name.
- Why?
- Sorry.
- [laughter]
- I told you, I have a boyfriend.
- Is he served with soft chee-- What?
- DIRECTOR: Go back to one.
- JERRY: I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm sorry. I just--
Can I have a minute?
- Don't be embarrassed.
- Just roll the main titles, please?
♪ I know-- the world will change ♪
Just roll it, please, come on.
- FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two...
- ♪
- CARLY: ♪ I know, you see ♪
♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪
♪ And be so wonderful ♪
♪ Live life, breathe air ♪
♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪
♪ And feel so wonderful ♪
♪ It's all for real ♪
♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪
♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪
♪ It's your time to be ♪
♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪
♪ And the time to see ♪
♪ The brighter side of every situation ♪
♪ Some things are meant to be ♪
♪ So give your best and leave the rest to me ♪
♪ Leave it all to me, leave it all to me ♪
♪ Just leave it all to me ♪
- ♪
- JERRY: Okay, okay.
I am not the only actor on iCarly
that sometimes messes up their lines.
Here, let me see this.
- Oh, don't, don't touch my mouse.
- No, I'm-- - MIRANDA: Don't touch it.
You're a dirty person. - I'm not a dirty person.
- Okay, fine, do it.
- Ah-ha!
Nathan bloopers!
Let's take a look at this.
- Mr. Blanton picked up Sam on--ha-mad-ooven.
He's just--he's just pernoding.
That's what he's doing.
And the cheerleaders, let's meet the fear leader.
- [babbling]
- Well, I thought you might wanna snack,
so I took some raisin bread,
put a little butter and toast on it.
Then, I put a little butter on toast on it,
then cinnamoned it.
- Just hurry up and--Yeah. [babbling]
- What? - I don't even know.
- That's okay. You look good in a tux.
- Thank you.
You're coming with us to The Groovy Smoothie to interview all the guys who entered your little...
[babbling]
- Come on, can you really bring-- [babbles]
- In the-- [babbling]
I am so confused.
You guys think I'm funny?
Hello.
Puberty. All righty.
'Cause if you're dating Shane,
that'll make Carly want a boyfriend, and then I--
- Oh, shh, shh. Here, he comes. Go, leave.
Why are you blocking your face, I didn't pull it out yet.
- Okay, guys, look, well, no--
- Are you okay? - Yes, I'm just fine.
Hook up my TID cable from the UGC port on left--
[babbling] [laughter] All right.
- So, this is really where you guys do iCarly from?
- Yeah, right upstairs.
I live across right--
[babbling]
- GIRL: Do you?
- I don't bluff.
Okay, I was bluffing when I said I don't bluff.
But I'm serious about quitting.
- JENETTE: All right.
- That was it!
- Ha-ha. See that?
Nathan's made a lot of mistakes himself,
so I'm not the only one who wastes time while we're filming.
- So we clearly have a problem with the iCarly boys.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What?
- Look at that one, fifth one down, see?
Jennette bloopers.
- This meeting is about you.
- Click on the Jennette thing.
Come on, just click on it.
I will come over there-- - Okay.
- Uh-- the boy doesn't make the dechis--ah.
Whoa, I'm sorry.
Gibby turns me down.
Like I'm not good enough for that shirtless potato!
- [beeping]
- Shoot.
We used some footage from a recent--re--ree--
- Yeah.
- Why does he have two bullet holes in his eyes?
- Those are his eyes. - That was not right.
My mom just had laser eye surgery this morning and--
No, it was this afternoon.
I'm sorry, wasn't this morning, it was 12.
Get out! Don't you lie to mamma.
[laughter] I'm sorry.
- Shoulda put it on my tray in the first place.
- You don't wanna know where I-- [babbling]
I'm Carly. I am not Carly.
I-- I thought you came first!
Well, since my mom doesn't fig--
What?
- DIRECTOR: Back to one.
- Since my mom doesn't fig--
Doctors can't fix?
I'm sorry.
Somebody barked behind us--
It's not my fault.
Waiting around for people makes me crake--
What? "Makes me crake"?
Why do I not rock?
Look at me, I'm rock-- I'm rocking right now.
I'm walkin'.
- Look. I know I'm not a perfect actor.
- Yeah.
- But you know as well as I do,
when you're making a TV show,
sometimes things just don't happen
the way they're supposed to.
- That's probably what's in this clip package. See?
"Things that didn't happen the way they were supposed to."
- JERRY: Mm-hmm. - Should I click it?
- I think you have to.
Take that.
Take that, telescope manufacturers.
- Ahh!
- DIRECTOR: Cut it!
Back to one.
- Open the door!
- Hello, the remote's gone again.
That's--Yeah-oh,
We lost it.
It's out of there.
Five...four--
- My bad.
- Yeah.
What?
Oh, no.
- Our TV.
- Watch the TV swing out...
- [beep]
- Come on!
- I'm here.
- This ostrich thinks I'm a lady.
Whoa.
- DIRECTOR: Hold.
- Said "hold" too late.
- JERRY: Aah!
- JENETTE: Oh, my gosh.
- I'm fine.
- Uh-oh. - Oh, my God.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, anyway, on behalf of Briarwood--
this is for you.
- What is this--
- You know it is so lonely in the afternoons
without Freddie.
- I'm sorry. - DIRECTOR: Cut.
- SPENCER: This stuff was still in my mouth, dude.
It's all over the place.
- What's the matter with you?
- Uh-oh--
Oh, dude. Why?
So, should we look at more clips?
- Sure.
Right after this commercial break!
- The camera's behind you.
- Right after this commercial break.
- We are back.
- The camera's behind you.
- We are back.
So, we were talking about recipes?
- No, we were talking about the fact
that you've been screwing up a lot on the show.
- Well, maybe I've been messing up
'cause I'm physically wrecked. - Wrecked?
- Yeah, 'cause of all the stunts I do on the show.
- You don't do that many stunts.
- Do so. Click on that. - MIRANDA: Click on what?
- JERRY: Fourth from the bottom.
- I'm clicking it. - Click.
- Come down from there before you hurt yourself.
- SPENCER: No worries, I got my legs wrapped around this pipe.
Aah! Ooh!
I'll get it.
Augh! - [phone ringing]
- SPENCER: Hey, you guys.
I was wondering--Aah. Ooh.
[yelling]
- CARLY: Fire!
- Aah!
Woo, hoo, hoo, hoo.
Whoo.
If you need me, I'll be at the gym.
Ha!
A-haa!
Stop, stop!
Got it!
- Hurry back. - Will do.
I know.
You know, when I was a kid,
I wanted to build one like this.
But dad always said there were--
Aah!
Aah, ooh.
Will you turn that down a little?
[screaming]
Oh-ho!
Aah-ha-ha-ha!
[screaming] - I found it.
See all the stunts I do?
- So? We all do stunts.
- Prove it.
- What button? - The green one.
- I'm pressing the green one and nothing's happen--
[screaming]
- Time for a confetti surprise. - Hit it.
- [explosion] - Aah!
- Move. - Ah, ow.
- Move ahead. - Ye-aah.
- Windmills... - Aah!
- Can you toss me an apple?
- Red or green?
- Red 'cause green apple always--
Ow.
- Whoo.
Oww!
- Hit the floor.
No!
- ♪
- [truck horn]
- You girls call me
when you learn to be a little more--
Aah!
- Bad bear. - Aah.
Aah.
- Gibby. - Wait.
- [screaming]
- [doorbell] - It's Shelby.
[screams]
I'm not here!
How are we gonna get-- [screams]
- [screaming]
- Carly, don't let go!
- Why on Earth would I let go?!
See? Spencer isn't the only character on iCarly
that does stunts. - Yeah, anyway, you know
what really wastes time on set? - What?
- Everyone acting all silly, and being goofy,
and laughing and just being unprofessional.
- I think you're exaggerating. - No.
Here, let's watch this clip labeled...
- ♪
- Dan sent me some direction via text message.
Let me clear this message here.
I will act better.
- ♪ When it all goes down I need to tell ya ♪
♪ You're gonna love me ♪
♪ You're gonna tell me that you're ready to go ♪
♪ I'm already there, look up in the air ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm the star of the show ♪
♪ I'm numba one, baby, always numba one baby ♪
- I want to squeeze your cheeks.
What if I...
- Okay, let's be serious.
- DIRECTOR: Nathan. - FREDDIE: Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks, Dan.
- DIRECTOR: Easy, Nathan.
- Oh, we're waiting-- Miranda's learning her lines?
- DIRECTOR: Cut. - Are we already rolling?
Oh, we are--
She's learning 'em as we're rolling? Okay.
- ♪ You're gonna love me ♪
♪ You're gonna tell me that you're ready to go ♪
- Can I have the first line once?
- Okay, you can--
- No, I wanna-- - No, do it.
- Whee. Who are you?
- [laughter]
- Look, I shouldn't just blame you and Jennette and Nathan
for messing up on the show.
- Yeah, there's that Gibby guy and what's his name?
Nevel and Lewbert?
- And other guest stars.
- Yeah, click that package.
- Okay.
- Aww, your song's over?
- Do another one.
- Oh my God, she was caught in my pipes.
- Aw, your song's over--
- Be quiet, Gabby--Gibby.
Sorry.
- You shouldn't-- - [thud]
- I'm sorry.
- [laughter]
- She kicked me. She started talking to people.
- I'm sorry.
- I always watch, because I've been worried about your posture. - Don't tell my mother.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, who is she? - I don't believe I know you.
- Where's Josh?
Where's mom and dad?
- Have you changed your-- [babbling]
- The locator chip.
As soon as Freddie was old enough to toddle,
I had a locator chip put in his head.
- "If Spencer tries to be lazy,
throw coffee in his face to perk him up."
No, sorry. - Really?
She said that, coffee?
- "Throw water in his face to perk him up."
Well, she was--
- Yeah, I know.
I wasn't feeling it either.
- Going over there. I gotta hit the loo.
Oh.
Check out what it says every fourth word.
- Happy birthday.
- [laughing]
Oh, man. Got it.
- This is a mockery, eat popcorn!
Oh, no, don't eat popcorn.
- Wow. - Wow. - Yeah.
- I guess almost everyone on iCarly
messes up their lines.
- Almost? - Yeah, almost.
- Meaning, not you? - I come to work very prepared.
- Oh, do you? - Yeah, I do.
- JERRY: Give me this! - No, no.
- JERRY: I'm taking it.
- MIRANDA: Get off me!
[laughter] - No!
Let's take a look at some of your screw ups.
- No! - Yo, yes.
- And so to the question,
can we drink and eat spaghetti and meatballs?
- We're gonna find out.
- Drink and eat?
Where's she?
- JERRY: What? - What?
I know where she is.
- This is Jeffrey, the guy whose father is--
This is Jeffrey, the guy who father--
And he made our puppet persona sniff his face.
What?
I can't say that line.
That's a revelant.
- A revelant? - A reveblant.
- GUY: The word is "irrelevant."
- If I'm going to the dance with Gibby, then...
I'm not going to dance with Gibby.
His last words were: "Why, Miles, why?".
- His name is Oliver.
- Now, say "hello".
Now, please enjoy it.
Unless you guys wanna drive up to Yakima--
--day after Friday.
Sorry.
Come on, we gotta get out of here, if miff--cah--
I had to get rid of her by telling her
we needed some imaginary doodles.
Sorry, that's not right.
I heard a pink coming from the sink.
Maybe it's--Sorry.
- Which causes this camera to snap a picture of the thief,
so I'll know that...
- I can't get it out of my bag, I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, you shouldn't complain.
Right after gym--It's history.
Yeah, well, you shouldn't complain.
Right after history, I had gym.
You know what coach Ms. Natalie made us do?
That's so weird of her--
Whoa, defaulty cup.
- GUY: Defaulty?
- That's not a word, Sorry.
Let me guess.
Carly is a coward, Car--mly is lame.
Carly is--Carmly--Sorry.
I forgot my name.
Why are we in trouble-- Guys, nevermind.
Wait, I don't say that. Do I?
- DIRECTOR: Yeah, you do. - Oh.
So the only two people left in the game now
are Sam and my best friend.
My best friend? Sorry.
- I think I'm your best friend.
- Well, I wrote my report on Bigfoot
and I worked really hard on it,
and then Mrs. Cantrell was all:
"Bigfoot isn't real? So you get an 'A', an 'F'".
Why would I get an "A", then I'm like--
- Hmm. It seems little Miss Perfect is flawed.
Huh. - I'm--I'm so ashamed.
- Ah, don't be.
I mean, really, who cares if we mess up?
- That's right.
The important thing is that we have fun making iCarly.
- And you know what we have the most fun doing?
- Would it be...
- ♪
♪
- Hula, hula, hula, hula ho, hula, hula, hula, hula.
- ♪
- Quit it, feet!
- ♪
♪
- Sam! - Just let me eat the chicken.
- No, you need to go to iCarly.com.
- After I eat the chicken? - No.
You should be in iCarly.com, right now.
- Why? Is there an awesome new video on iCarly.com? - Yeah.
- Is there a new blog on iCarly.com?
- Yeah, and pics and other cool stuff.
- All at iCarly.com? - All at iCarly.com.
- Come on, let's eat the chicken.
- No. - Bummer.
- [ding] - MAN: Mmm!
- ♪