1 00:00:07,466 --> 00:00:11,595 - In five, four, three, two-- 2 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:16,892 - Hey, if you're looking at your computer screen right now-- - And you see Carly and me-- - --then, congratulations-- 3 00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,686 - --you're watching "iCarly" however-- 4 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,562 - If you're looking into your toilet bowl right now-- 5 00:00:20,604 --> 00:00:23,022 - --and you see a live monkey speaking Spanish-- 6 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,107 - --you're hallucinating. 7 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:28,946 - BOTH: Oh! 8 00:00:28,988 --> 00:00:30,447 - Okay. Lately, we've been getting some comments 9 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:31,949 here at iCarly.com-- 10 00:00:31,991 --> 00:00:33,367 - Saying we should use the power of "iCarly" 11 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,327 to talk about some serious issues. 12 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,287 - So here to discuss the importance of recycling-- 13 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,206 - Say hello to the tallest guy who lives in Carly's 14 00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:41,040 apartment building... Both: Dave. 15 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,294 - [cheering] - Woo! Yeah. 16 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:45,921 So, Dave. - DAVE: Yeah? 17 00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:47,798 - You're pretty tall. - DAVE: That's right. 18 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,842 - And do you feel that recycling is important? 19 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,510 - DAVE: Sure. 20 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,136 - Well, there you have it. - Recycling is important. 21 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:56,097 - Bye, Dave. - See ya! 22 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:57,766 - DAVE: Bye. - He petted our heads. 23 00:00:57,808 --> 00:00:58,809 - We love that. 24 00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,854 - Okay. Next Sam and I have a little surprise for you guys. 25 00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:05,440 - It's one of the most popular things we do here at "iCarly." 26 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:09,945 - BOTH: "Messin' with Lewbert". - [cheering] 27 00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:12,197 - Okay, Freddie, switch to your little tripod camera 28 00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:13,949 and come tell the people how it's gonna work. 29 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,492 - Switchin' to the b-cam. 30 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,747 Hey, it's me, Freddie. - They don't care. 31 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,874 Just tell 'em the bit. 32 00:01:21,916 --> 00:01:23,959 - Well, a couple of my friends in the AV Club 33 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:26,085 figured out how to rig a muffin basket 34 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,087 with a confetti cannon. 35 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:29,715 - 'Cause unfortunately, most muffin baskets 36 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,383 usually don't come with a confetti cannon. 37 00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,510 - It's sad. 38 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,637 - But, lucky for us, Freddie and his AV friends-- 39 00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:38,181 - I call them "dorks"-- 40 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:40,684 - --were able to figure it all out. 41 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:44,730 - Please enjoy this demonstration that I shot of the muffin basket with Carly's brother, Spencer. 42 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:47,066 - SPENCER: Doodlee, doodlee, doodlee, do. 43 00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:50,027 Oh, look, a muffin basket. What a surprise. 44 00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,946 Well, I'm sure there's nothing unusual 45 00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:54,531 about these muffins, so I'll just have one. 46 00:01:58,911 --> 00:02:01,120 Oh, no! 47 00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:03,040 I wasn't expecting that. 48 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,709 - And that's how it works. 49 00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,294 - You see, the confetti blast 50 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:08,921 is powered by a small, pressurized air canister, 51 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,089 which propels-- - Knock-knock. 52 00:02:10,129 --> 00:02:12,299 - Who's there? - Not you. 53 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,552 - Okay. And now it's time to mess with Lewbert. 54 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,429 - He's gonna be so freaked out-- 55 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,306 - And you get to see it happen live. 56 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:22,059 - Ready, Freddie? - Goin' live to the Lewbert cam. 57 00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,896 - CARLY: There he is, downstairs in the lobby. 58 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:28,482 - SAM: The meanest, nastiest doorman in Seattle. 59 00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,191 - Cleaning his fingernails with a fork. 60 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,359 - Poor fork. 61 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,989 - And now, I'll use this walkie-talkie to call 62 00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,240 our friend Mark who's waiting right outside the lobby. 63 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:39,076 - Mark's a senior. 64 00:02:40,744 --> 00:02:42,579 - Bring in the muffin basket. - MARK: Copy that. 65 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:47,167 - What? Hey, who's this for? 66 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:53,172 Hey! Hey! Hey! Fudge bag! 67 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,216 - The muffin basket is in place. 68 00:02:55,258 --> 00:03:00,472 - Muffins? Well, don't mind if I do. 69 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,058 - SAM: And now, time for a confetti surprise! 70 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,726 - Hit it! 71 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,603 - Ah! 72 00:03:13,401 --> 00:03:15,112 - We're gonna go make sure he's okay. 73 00:03:15,154 --> 00:03:17,698 - So, until we're back-- - --please enjoy this video 74 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,616 of a bunny eating peanut butter. 75 00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:21,702 - Freddie, cue the bunny video. - Okay. 76 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:29,208 - ♪ 77 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,046 - FREDDIE: In five, four, three, two-- 78 00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:35,382 - ♪ 79 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,885 - CARLY: ♪ I know, you see ♪ 80 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:40,054 ♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪ 81 00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,597 ♪ And be so wonderful ♪ 82 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,810 ♪ Live life, breathe air ♪ 83 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,312 ♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪ 84 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,606 ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪ 85 00:03:54,109 --> 00:03:57,821 ♪ It's all for real ♪ 86 00:03:57,863 --> 00:03:59,990 ♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪ 87 00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:03,952 ♪ So wake up the members of my nation ♪ 88 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:05,746 ♪ It's your time to be ♪ 89 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,707 ♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪ 90 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,459 ♪ Every time just see the brighter side... ♪ 91 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,671 ♪ ...of every situation ♪ 92 00:04:14,713 --> 00:04:17,465 ♪ Some things are meant to be so give it your best ♪ 93 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,010 ♪ And leave the rest to me ♪ 94 00:04:20,052 --> 00:04:21,302 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 95 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,387 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 96 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,305 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 97 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,392 ♪ Just leave it all to me ♪ 98 00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:40,279 - ♪ 99 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,240 - Oh my God. 100 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:47,495 - What happened? - Nothing. No one can prove anything. 101 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,288 - Our muffin basket exploded. 102 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,166 - And Lewbert got knocked out. - Here, move. 103 00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:53,501 Let me see if I can get him to come to. 104 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:56,964 Lewbert. Hey, Lewbert! 105 00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,175 Talk to me, Lewb. Can you speak? Lewbert. 106 00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:05,889 - [screams] 107 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:09,101 - Uh-oh. His wart. - What about his wart? 108 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:11,937 - Where is it? - SAM: Whoa, it's gone. 109 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:14,898 - Oh, man. We blew his wart off. 110 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,486 - How'd this happen? 111 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,696 - Well, we were filming our web show and-- 112 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:23,782 - He fell. He just fell right down. 113 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,367 - Clumsy Lewbert. 114 00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,703 - He fell, but what happened-- - This is no time for questions! 115 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,789 - Just fix him! 116 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:34,417 - LEWBERT: [groaning] - How is he? 117 00:05:34,459 --> 00:05:37,171 - He might have some broken bones, possibly a concussion. 118 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:39,173 - And I'm no dentist, but I think he might have gum disease. 119 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,759 - Hey, let's get him up on the gurney. 120 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:46,096 - Big guy. 121 00:05:46,138 --> 00:05:47,139 Whoa. 122 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,682 - Ah. 123 00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:56,815 Wait. My wart. Where's my wart? 124 00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,692 - [screams] - What?! 125 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:00,235 - It's on your shoe. - Oh. 126 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:04,698 - [screams] - I want my wart! 127 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:06,616 - He wants his wart. - Hold still. Hold still. 128 00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,493 I'll get it. 129 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:14,541 - Oh. Here. - Thanks. 130 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,210 We better get this wart on ice. - Right. 131 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,716 - We'll get your shoe back as-- - Keep it. 132 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:26,761 - ♪ 133 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:30,724 - Right. Yeah, my brother told me he talked to you. 134 00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:31,725 Thank you so much for calling. 135 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,270 Lewbert's gonna be okay. 136 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,272 Well, not okay but at least back to the way he was before. 137 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,399 - Good. - Yeah. 138 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:42,069 We could have been in so much trouble. 139 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,654 - Can you ever think about anyone but yourself? 140 00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:48,242 - I can, but I choose not to. 141 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:49,910 Carly, come look at this. - What? 142 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,536 - It's the video of the explosion. 143 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:53,205 - And when you go slow-motion, you can totally see 144 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,123 Lewbert's wart fly right off his face. 145 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,000 - Eww, that's disgusting. - You wanna see it? 146 00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,710 - Full screen, please. 147 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,631 - ALL: Whoa. Oh. Uh-oh. 148 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:05,717 - What up, giblets? 149 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,719 - Oh. Is that Lewbert's doorman jacket? 150 00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,012 - Yeah. It's cute, right? 151 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:12,099 - Uh. - Well. 152 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,767 - See, I volunteered to cover the front desk 153 00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:15,185 while he's laid up. 154 00:07:15,227 --> 00:07:16,561 Doctor says he's gonna need to stay in bed 155 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,854 for a least a week. 156 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,481 - Oh. I feel terrible. 157 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,359 You know we didn't mean to hurt him. 158 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:24,652 - We just wanted to scare him enough to make him pee a little. 159 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:26,863 - Yeah. I know you didn't mean to blow him up. 160 00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,531 But since you did, I want you guys 161 00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,784 to check in on him, like three or four times a day. 162 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:32,953 Get him anything he needs 'til he's back on his feet. 163 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,289 - Helping take care of the man is the least we can do. 164 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,623 - No kidding. - Oh. 165 00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:38,166 - All right. I got to get going. 166 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,793 - Do you want me to bring you lunch later? 167 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,586 - No. I got ribs left over from last night. 168 00:07:50,511 --> 00:07:51,763 You ate my ribs? 169 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,848 - I made the bones into a necklace. 170 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:59,687 - ♪ 171 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,606 - [knocking] 172 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,239 - Hi, Lewbert. 173 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,783 We just came down-- - Get out! 174 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:15,870 - Okay, bye. - Wait. 175 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,293 We brought you some food. 176 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:24,545 - I don't eat nothin' 'less it's dead. 177 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,673 - Okay, I guess that's better than the other way around. 178 00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:31,261 - Oh, and, um, we got you these flowers. 179 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:34,639 - Oh, hey, what'd you spend on these, $7.95? 180 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:36,599 Whoopty-doo! 181 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,021 - I see they reattached your wart. 182 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,898 - Yeah. Well, I don't want any of you touchin' it. 183 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,816 - No problem. - Eww. 184 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:47,068 - We won't. 185 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,237 - Well, if there's nothing else you need-- 186 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:53,658 - Fluff my pillow. - Oh, sure. 187 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:56,203 Here, let me help you sit-- - Ah! I can sit up. 188 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,121 Just fluff. 189 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,959 - [coughing] 190 00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,463 There. How's that? 191 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:08,131 - Feed my lizard! 192 00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,716 - Huh? - What? 193 00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:12,760 - My lizard. Feed him some bugs. 194 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,480 - Um, where do I get the bugs? 195 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,816 - I usually just catch 'em in the corner over there. 196 00:09:26,858 --> 00:09:28,860 If you put some honey in the palm of your hand, 197 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:32,113 they'll crawl right up on you. 198 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:35,075 - Where do I get the honey? - Man, I gotta do everything? 199 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,576 - Okay, calm down. He'll get some bugs for your lizard. 200 00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,414 - Anything else you need? - Yeah. My foot itches. 201 00:09:40,455 --> 00:09:42,623 Here's a fork. 202 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:03,270 Oh, yeah, ah. 203 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,773 Harder! 204 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:16,991 - ♪ 205 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,542 - [ding] 206 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,961 - Sweet! 207 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:29,588 [screams] 208 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,678 - Hello, Spencer. - SPENCER: Hi, Mrs. Benson. 209 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,514 - Have you heard how Lewbert's feeling? 210 00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:41,015 - Yeah, he's doing okay. 211 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,517 I've got the kids keeping an eye on him. 212 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,144 - Well, I think it's very nice of you 213 00:10:44,185 --> 00:10:46,938 to cover for Lewbert till he's feeling better. 214 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,816 Why is the counter wet and sticky? 215 00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:53,820 - Oh, well, I have-- - "Wet and sticky is very icky. 216 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,281 Sticky and wet makes mommy upset." 217 00:10:58,032 --> 00:10:59,700 - I don't know how to respond to that. 218 00:11:01,453 --> 00:11:03,497 - MAN: Breaker one-nine, breaker one-nine, come back. 219 00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:05,915 - What is that? - Oh, it's an old CB radio. 220 00:11:05,957 --> 00:11:07,875 I found it back there with Lewbert's stuff. 221 00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,752 I just plugged it in, it works great. 222 00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:12,464 - A CB radio, like the kind that truck drivers use 223 00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:13,798 to talk to each other? 224 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,425 - Yeah, you wanna try it? - No. 225 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,469 - Oh, come on, it's really fun. All you do is-- 226 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,929 - I don't like wireless transceivers. 227 00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:26,978 - Hello, all you truckers out there, 228 00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:31,065 this is the doorman, looking for someone to jaw with. 229 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,733 - RODNEY: Hey, hey, hey there, doorman. 230 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,277 You got rockin' Rodney on this end. 231 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:36,613 Come on back. - Hey there, rockin' Rodney. 232 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:40,158 I'm new to the CB radio world and I was just-- 233 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:43,620 How? 234 00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:47,790 - ♪ 235 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:52,753 - Okay. Your place is all clean...er. 236 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,798 - I want some tomato juice. 237 00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,345 - Hey. We've done everything you've asked us the past five days. You might try saying thanks once. 238 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,763 - You didn't install an air conditioner. 239 00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:04,349 - We don't have enough money to buy you an air conditioner. 240 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,600 - You're just lucky Freddie's putting up 241 00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,394 that ceiling fan for you. 242 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:10,146 - I'd feel lucky if I were drinking some tomato juice. 243 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:11,772 - I'll get you some tomato juice. 244 00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,275 - Hallelujah! 245 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:17,320 - Sam, hand me my needle-nose pliers. 246 00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,824 - Here you go. - This ain't tomato juice. 247 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,661 - Then what is it? - Nothin'. 248 00:12:26,580 --> 00:12:31,251 I got to get some rest. - FREDDIE: Okay. 249 00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,338 Here's the remote that controls the fan. 250 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,715 - [grunts] 251 00:12:36,755 --> 00:12:38,258 - Come on, let's get out of here. 252 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,967 - Just call us if you need anything else. 253 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,054 - I'm hot! - So turn on the fan. 254 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,014 - What button? - The green one. 255 00:12:45,056 --> 00:12:46,891 - I'm pressing the green one and nothing happens-- 256 00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,227 [screams] 257 00:12:57,026 --> 00:13:01,531 - ♪ 258 00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:05,368 - CARLY: Bring him in. - LEWBERT: Oh, easy. Easy. 259 00:13:05,410 --> 00:13:07,328 - We're almost there. Just a couple more steps. 260 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,914 All right. - Support my left side. 261 00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,418 - I am trying. Mom, Mom, I need you to go around. 262 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,545 - Here. - And get him down from there. 263 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:20,133 Right there. - LEWBERT: [groaning] 264 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:22,385 - This place is disgusting. 265 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:26,931 - Welcome back from the hospital. 266 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,602 - Don't you mean welcome back from the hospital...again?! 267 00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,315 - Come on. We didn't mean to drop a ceiling fan on you. 268 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:36,775 - I thought the brackets were secure. 269 00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,526 - Oh, you thought. 270 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:39,986 Well, maybe you should have checked twice. Oh, yeah. 271 00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:41,404 - Yeah, we thought we've checked it twice. 272 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,947 - We got a wire up-- - You--wait. 273 00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:46,159 - Hey, hey, hey. Would you children please stop 274 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,201 upsetting this injured man. 275 00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,078 Move away. Shoo. 276 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:55,335 Oh, you poor thing. You look awful. 277 00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,587 - He looked awful before the accident. 278 00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:00,839 - Sam. - I feel worse than I look. 279 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,385 - Well, that's because your leg isn't properly elevated. 280 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,387 - Oh, no, no, no, no! Ohh. 281 00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,768 Thank you, Mrs. Benson. 282 00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,354 - Oh, please, call me Marissa. - Marissa? 283 00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:16,481 - Mm-hmm. - That's a pretty name. 284 00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,733 - MARISSA: Oh, thank you. It's French. 285 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,403 It means honeysuckle. - Oh, I like honeysuckle. 286 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,199 - Look, why don't you kids run along? 287 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:27,742 I'll look after Lewbert. 288 00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:28,951 - Oh, are you sure 'cause we-- 289 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,537 - Bye. 290 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,875 - Don't you think we should stay and help? 291 00:14:35,916 --> 00:14:40,087 - Marissa, I was wondering. Would you mind shaving my back? 292 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,383 - Oh, I would be delighted to shave your back. 293 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,635 - Oh. - Well, bye. 294 00:14:45,677 --> 00:14:49,930 - ♪ 295 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,766 - Breaker, breaker, this is the doorman, looking for some 296 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,476 CB convo-sation. 297 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,186 Anybody out there pickin' up what I'm puttin' out, 298 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,021 come on back. 299 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,774 - MAN: Hey there, doorman. You got Porkchop on this end. 300 00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,317 Come on. 301 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:03,236 - Well, hey there, Porkchop. How you doin'? 302 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:07,365 - PORKCHOP: Doin' just fine. Are you a trucker? 303 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,116 - One second. Hey, hey, listen. 304 00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,493 You're really not supposed to do that here 305 00:15:10,535 --> 00:15:12,453 in the lobby, okay? Thanks. 306 00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,334 Sorry there, Porkchop. 307 00:15:18,376 --> 00:15:20,919 Anyway, no, I'm not a trucker but here's a joke for you. 308 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:24,632 What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? 309 00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,218 - PORKCHOP: Man, I don't know. Come on. 310 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:31,431 - Anyone can roast beef 311 00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:34,517 but nobody can pea soup. 312 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:38,646 [laughs] 313 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,524 Hey, kid, seriously, you can't do that in here. 314 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,151 Take it outside, okay? - Make me. 315 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,070 - Hey! 316 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,865 - PORKCHOP: Look, doorman, this channel is for truckers only 317 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:50,784 so get off. 318 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:54,078 - No. This is a free country and I can talk on here all I wanna. 319 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,289 - PORKCHOP: Boy, you don't wanna mess with the Porkchop. 320 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,498 - Quit that! - What if I don't? 321 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,667 - Hey, hey. What's goin' on? 322 00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,878 - Is he your son? - Yeah. 323 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:03,962 - Well, he's been playing racquetball in here 324 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:05,924 even though I keep telling him to knock it off. 325 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,592 - That's it. You're grounded. 326 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,470 - Yeah! - Hey, hey. 327 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:12,555 - Hey, get off of me. Get him off. 328 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,351 - I'll get you! 329 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,353 - Have fun locked in your room! 330 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,733 - ♪ 331 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:26,778 - Morning, girls. Check me out. 332 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,864 - What? - No belt. 333 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:34,368 And look, open-toed shoes. - Wow, you're an animal. 334 00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,036 - Yeah. 335 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:37,872 - I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt 336 00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:39,540 and never lets you wear open-toed shoes. 337 00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,125 - Yeah, but since she's been takin' care of Lewbert, 338 00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,753 I can pretty much do whatever I want. 339 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:47,465 Last night, slept with my socks on. 340 00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:51,093 - So? - Just my socks. 341 00:16:51,135 --> 00:16:54,848 - Oh. Uhh. Augh. 342 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,811 - Okay, but doesn't it bug you that your mom and Lewbert 343 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:01,729 are practically dating? - They're not dating. 344 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,898 She's just being a good nurse. 345 00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,066 - Oh, wake up and smell the boyfriend, Benson. 346 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,695 She's with him all the time. - I bet they've kissed. 347 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,363 - They have not. 348 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,239 - If his mom marries Lewbert, does that mean Freddie 349 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,785 will have to kiss his wart good night? 350 00:17:15,827 --> 00:17:18,078 - My mom will never marry Lewbert. 351 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,541 - Okay. - Whatever you say. 352 00:17:22,834 --> 00:17:25,419 Hey, you know, your mom was right, 353 00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,129 you really should wear a belt. 354 00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:28,631 - Why? - So people can't do this. 355 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:35,513 - [laughter] 356 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:36,597 - Thanks. 357 00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,769 - Hey, hey, this is the doorman. 358 00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:43,479 Who's out there in CB radio land? 359 00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,190 Come on back to me. 360 00:17:46,232 --> 00:17:48,442 - MAN: Hey, you got The Sledgehammer, come back. 361 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,820 - Okay, Mr. Sledgehammer, what do you get when you cross 362 00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:53,865 a rooster with a small dog? 363 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:56,784 - SLEDGEHAMMER: Huh? - A cocka-poodle-doo. 364 00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,620 - SLEDGEHAMMER: Look, buddy, this channel ain't no place 365 00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:02,665 for comedians. - Is too. 366 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,001 - PORKCHOP: Hey, Sledgehammer, I think you're talkin' 367 00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:06,711 to the same old boy that was gettin' on my nerves 368 00:18:06,753 --> 00:18:09,964 the other day. - Oh, Porkchop! 369 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,925 So nice to hear your voice again. 370 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,718 Hey, what you been doin'? 371 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,679 Diggin' bugs outta your wife's ear? 372 00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,640 - PORKCHOP: That tears it. Where are you? 373 00:18:19,682 --> 00:18:21,099 - You'll never find out. 374 00:18:21,141 --> 00:18:22,560 - SLEDGEHAMMER: You better hope we don't. 375 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,395 - Hey, Porkchop and Sledgehammer, 376 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,689 if you guys ever get married, will your last name 377 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:31,652 be Sledgechop or Porkhammer? 378 00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:33,153 - [phone rings] 379 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:35,656 - Oops! The doorman will be right back. 380 00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,742 - [phone ringing] 381 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:42,121 - Hey, Sledgehammer and Porkchop, 382 00:18:42,162 --> 00:18:43,957 if you wanna find the doorman, he works in an apartment 383 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:45,792 building on the west side of Kennedy Square. 384 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:48,628 - Chuck, put that down. - Yes, Daddy. 385 00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:53,424 - ♪ 386 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,217 - You know, this is the best food I've had 387 00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:58,136 since I was in the hospital. 388 00:18:58,178 --> 00:19:02,600 - Oh, thank you, Lewbert. More fish loaf? 389 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:07,354 - Well, I was kinda hopin' we could maybe get 390 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:09,774 right to dessert? 391 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,401 - But I didn't make any dessert. 392 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:16,614 - I don't know. I'm lookin' at something pretty sweet. 393 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,908 - MARISSA: [laughing] 394 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,743 Oh, Lewb. 395 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,749 - LEWBERT: To us. 396 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:34,381 - ♪ 397 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,135 - Put the bows down! 398 00:19:37,175 --> 00:19:38,886 - What's up? - Why do we have to-- 399 00:19:38,928 --> 00:19:40,805 - You guys were right. You were right, okay? 400 00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:45,601 My mom--she likes Lewbert. Duuuh! 401 00:19:45,643 --> 00:19:47,603 - Oh, well, maybe she-- - No jokes, Puckett. 402 00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:51,315 This is serious chizz! 403 00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:53,860 - Okay, calm down. - I can't. 404 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,402 - SAM: Benson. 405 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:56,904 - How can I calm down when there's a possibility 406 00:19:56,946 --> 00:20:01,283 that Lewbert could become my daddy? 407 00:20:01,325 --> 00:20:04,162 - Dude, we can fix this chizz. 408 00:20:04,202 --> 00:20:06,789 - How? - Okay, think. 409 00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:08,916 What's the most important thing in the world to your mom? 410 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:12,211 - Um, I don't know. Soap? 411 00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:14,047 - You. - You're her whole world. 412 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,382 - Was. Now she's spending every minute she can 413 00:20:16,423 --> 00:20:17,967 with Lewbert. 414 00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,635 - Yes, because he got hurt which brought out 415 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,679 her motherly instincts. - So? 416 00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:26,767 - So...what if...you got hurt? 417 00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:32,190 - Yeah. What? 418 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:37,195 - ♪ 419 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:39,321 - And I wrote down all your phone messages in here, 420 00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:41,824 which I organized into three piles. 421 00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,827 From your mother, death threats, 422 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,122 and death threats from your mother. 423 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,750 And here are your keys. 424 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,960 - What's my CB radio doin' there? 425 00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:54,628 - Oh, I found it in the back so I was-- 426 00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,256 - Get out! 427 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:03,554 - There you are, like a captain at the helm of his ship. 428 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,890 - Oh, Marissa, stop. 429 00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:09,143 - Here, let me rub some cream on your wart. 430 00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:12,063 - Oh, that'd be nice. 431 00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,441 - FREDDIE: Mom, are you down here? I-- [screams] 432 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:17,317 - Freddie--Freddie, oh, my baby. 433 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,695 Are you all right? - Oh, no. 434 00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:23,199 - Hey, don't get any blood on my floor. 435 00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:25,868 - My son is hurt. What's wrong with you? 436 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:29,413 - For one thing, I got a wart that needs cream on it. 437 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:31,498 - Freddie may have a concussion. 438 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,918 - Oh, come on. We don't have time for this. 439 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,879 Our dinner reservations are in 20 minutes. 440 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,923 - Well, you'll just have to go without me. 441 00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:42,342 - [screams] 442 00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,720 - Freddie. Oh my gosh. - Are you okay? 443 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:47,556 - What happened? - He fell down the stairs 444 00:21:47,598 --> 00:21:49,892 probably because of these open-toed shoes. 445 00:21:49,934 --> 00:21:51,309 - FREDDIE: Oh, you're probably right--oh. 446 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:53,020 - Girls, help me get him to the elevator 447 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:55,231 and up to the apartment so I can take care of him. 448 00:21:55,273 --> 00:21:56,523 - Oh, ok. - We got him. 449 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,943 - What about me?! 450 00:21:58,985 --> 00:22:03,030 - I am sorry, Lewbert, but you are a mean, nasty man. 451 00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:05,283 I cured your body but I can't cure 452 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:09,954 your hideous personality. - Wait! 453 00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:13,457 Can I at least get the recipe for your fish loaf? 454 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:15,584 - Come with me, Freddie. - Oh. 455 00:22:17,086 --> 00:22:18,420 - LEWBERT: Wait! 456 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:20,256 Who's gonna rub cream on my wart? 457 00:22:23,217 --> 00:22:28,014 Would either of you girls-- - Gross. - Eww! - Oh, whatever! 458 00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:34,187 - ♪ 459 00:22:34,228 --> 00:22:36,189 - Stay! 460 00:22:36,230 --> 00:22:41,443 - ♪ 461 00:22:41,485 --> 00:22:45,572 - Hey. - Who are you clowns? 462 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:48,951 - Porkchop. 463 00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:51,537 - You the doorman? - Yeah, I'm the doorman. 464 00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:53,873 What of it? 465 00:22:55,208 --> 00:22:56,583 Oh, hey, hey, what's goin' on here, fellas? 466 00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,794 Whoa, wait. Help. 467 00:22:58,836 --> 00:23:03,007 - [punching] - LEWBERT: [yelling] 468 00:23:11,765 --> 00:23:13,017 - Okay. Ready? - Go. 469 00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,518 What do you do if your foot catches on fire? 470 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,936 - Go to iCarly.com. - Correct. 471 00:23:15,978 --> 00:23:17,437 What do you do if a bear swallows your little brother? 472 00:23:17,479 --> 00:23:19,565 - Go to iCarly.com. - Yes. 473 00:23:19,606 --> 00:23:21,859 What do you do if you can't find your pants? - Go to iCarly.com. - Good girl. 474 00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,820 What do you do if a bear catches on fire then swallows your pants? - Go to iCarly.com. 475 00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:26,404 - Exactly. What do you-- - Go to iCarly.com. 476 00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,282 - How did you know? - Had a feeling. 477 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,742 - Mm. Wanna get some chicken wings? 478 00:23:29,783 --> 00:23:30,617 - Yep. 479 00:23:30,659 --> 00:23:34,872 - ♪ 480 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:37,457 - [ding] - MAN: Mmm! 481 00:23:37,499 --> 00:23:39,126 - [burble]