[Music]
- Hey.
What are you guys doing?
- Getting ready to play cupcake slam.
- Ooh, I wanna play.
- Well, then hurry, grab a cupcake.
- What's the bet?
- Loser has to drink pickle juice.
- Ew, I don't wanna drink pickle juice.
- Well then, you better throw
that cupcake hard and hope it's sticky.
- That's not something you hear every day.
- Okay.
In five, four, three, two-- cupcakes.
You got this.
It's all you.
- Oh my god.
- It's all you.
You got everything.
- Please go down.
- You make me proud, boy.
You got it. It's all you.
It's all you.
You are-- - oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, baby.
- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, Sam.
You thirsty?
[Phone rings]
- Oh.
That guy Jeffrey is on his way up.
- Who's Jeffrey?
- You know, the one who e-mailed us
about all the-- - guess what just happened.
- Your bellybutton started talking to you.
- No.
But that would be so cool.
- What happened?
- What's my favorite movie in the world?
- "Galaxy wars."
- I know.
Look at this.
- A proton cruiser?
- No, my proton cruiser.
I just bought it.
It was actually used in the actual filming
of "galaxy wars."
- In the battle of panthatar?
- And the rescue of the horklops
from the planet jooveron!
- Shut up.
- How can I?
Ziz-kwaja!
- Wow.
I feel like I'm watching a DVD
of "dorks gone wild."
[Knocking]
- Hi.
- Hey, I'm Jeffrey flanken.
- Yeah, come on in.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- This is Jeffrey, the guy whose father
owns flanken motors.
- Oh, right.
- Your dad wants to set up
some kind of contest on icarly?
- Yeah.
I mean, if you guys are into it.
- Look at my spaceship.
- It's nice.
- Well, let's go up to our studio and talk.
- Cool.
[Music]
- In five, four, three, two-- [music]
* I know you see somehow *
* the world will change for me *
* and be so wonderful *
* live life, breathe air *
* I know somehow *
* were gonna get there *
* and feel so wonderful *
* it's all for real *
* I'm telling you *
* just how I feel *
* so, wake-up the members *
* of my nation *
* it's your time to be *
* there's no chance *
* unless you take one *
* take the time to see *
* the brighter side *
* of every situation *
* some things are meant to be *
* so give your best *
* and leave the rest to me *
* leave it all to me *
* just leave it all to me *
[music]
- Wait.
So, your dad wants to just
give away a brand-new car?
- Yeah.
I mean, he does it once every few years.
It's great publicity for his dealership.
- Cool.
- So, what kind of contest?
- How about guess the number
of zits on Freddie's butt?
- Wow.
That's really gross.
No.
See, my dad wants the contest
to be a brain buster.
You know, something you really
got to figure out.
- Oh, like how many of Sam's relatives
are on parole?
- Hey, don't go banging
on my aunt Maggie, cousin garth,
and uncle Morris, all right?
- We're having a meeting.
So, we challenge our viewers
to figure out the brain buster,
and then the first person
who sends in the right answer wins the car?
- Yup.
- Love it.
- It'll get icarly a lot of buzz.
- Oh, yeah.
Isn't your uncle buzz on parole too?
- Look Benson-- - what, Sam?
- He was a nice guy.
- What are you going to do?
- Stop it.
We'd love to do
the give-away-a-car contest.
- Awesome.
All right.
Here's the brain buster.
A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days,
then leaves on Friday.
How did he do it?
- I have no idea.
- How did he do it?
- I am not allowed to tell you.
- See, to keep the contest fair,
my dad put the answer
in this sealed envelope.
- Here, why don't you lock this
in your jewelry box.
- My mom wanted a daughter, okay?
[Music]
- And now, before we say goodnight--
- it's time for an icarly special contest.
* special contest *
okay.
Are you ready for this?
- We are gonna give away a new car--
- a new car.
- --From flanken motors.
- The best flanken car
dealership in Seattle.
- And to win the new car, all you got to do
is answer this brain buster.
- Mood lighting.
- Mysterious music.
[Music]
- Okay.
Here's the brain buster.
- A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days,
then leaves on Friday.
How'd he do it?
- Okay.
The first icarly fan
to tell us the correct answer
wins a new car.
Just text us right here at icarly.Com.
- And if you can't figure out
how to text us-- - --then call your doctor.
- --'Cause you may be suffering
from extreme stupidity.
- Together, we can find a cure.
[Music]
- Uh-huh.
Oh, yeah.
[Makes beeping noises]
Uh-oh.
This is commander Spencer.
What is the nature of your emergency?
A fleet of red skynauts
has invaded the Alpha quadrant.
Seriously?
Seriously.
I will intercept and destroy the enemy.
Oh god, thank you.
Shh.
[Hatch opening sound]
[Hatch closing sound]
Switching to hyperdrive.
[Makes hyperdrive sound]
Enemy ships within range.
Engaging.
Proton lasers set to maximosity.
I'm going in hot.
[Makes laser sounds]
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did I damage your ship?
Well, here.
Let me put it out of its misery.
[Makes laser sounds]
[Knock on door]
- Hey, it's me.
- Ah, teenage boy off the port bow.
[Makes laser sounds]
- Whoa. You got it.
- Yes.
[Hatch opening sound]
I did get it.
And now it's mine, and the galaxy is safe.
[Makes laser sound]
- Hey.
I thought you said this is one
of the actual proton cruisers
used to film "galaxy wars."
- It is.
- No, it's not.
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not.
- Okay.
And you're lying.
What makes you lie?
- I'm not lying.
- Yeah, you are.
Feel like a big boy
telling your big boy lies.
- Spencer.
- Yes, little Larry lies-a-lot?
- The proton cruisers in "galaxy wars"
had twin exhaust ports up front.
This one only has one.
- Well-- - and the neutronium blast plate
is supposed to be octagonal.
That one's round.
- But how can-- - and look.
Here is a sticker that says,
"not an actual prop
from the movie 'galaxy wars.'"
- okay.
Well, that can mean anything.
- No.
It means this is just a replica.
- But I paid for a real proton cruiser
from "galaxy wars."
Awwww!
- Sorry, Spence.
I got to go rehearse icarly.
[Music]
[Makes weak laser sound]
And then, the monster rose up
out of the coffin
and bit the man's head off.
[Screaming]
- That was so scary.
- How about a hand for George,
the bra who tells ghost stories.
- Whoo. Yeah.
- I hope you're ready
'cause the time has come.
- The time has come.
- If you have a hat,
you better hang on to it
'cause we're about to give away
a brand-new car.
- Courtesy of flanken motors.
- You all know the brain buster.
- Which Carly will now repeat.
- A cowboy rides into town on Friday.
He stays in town for three days,
then leaves on Friday.
How did he do it?
- How did he do it?
- Let us check the envelope.
Oh.
- I get it.
His horse's name was Friday.
- His horse's name was Friday.
- Random dancing.
- Okay.
A lot of you guys guessed the right answer.
- But only one of you guessed it first.
- And that lucky winner's
screen name is trickster 206.
Wooo!
And now, Freddie will connect us
to the winner via video chat.
- You just love saying via.
- Yeah.
- All right, we're connected.
- Hey, trickster 206.
- Guess what you've won?
- Would it be a new car?
- Nevel?
- That's right, Carly shay.
I've won the car,
and you have to give it to me.
Isn't this delicious?
Oh, I just feel like spinning
in a celebratory fashion.
Weeee! Weeee! Weeee!
Weeee! Weeee!
- I wonder what kind of car
they're gonna give us.
- You mean, give nevel.
I can't believe that nub won our contest.
Hey. Excuse me.
We're looking for the owner?
- Well, stop looking.
Don flanken.
What kind of car can I put you in?
- We're from icarly.
- Yeah?
Well, I'm from Wisconsin.
So what kind of car you're looking for?
Something sporty, something functional,
something spunctional-- look at me,
I'm making up words.
That's how much I care about
putting you in the right car.
Now-- - can you stop talking
for two seconds?
- We're not here to buy a car.
We came to get-- hey, sir.
- Dude, get back here.
- Look, I don't have time for games.
- We're not playing games.
- We gave away one of your cars
on our web show.
- Well, who in blazes told you to do that?
- Your son.
He set up a contest.
- I don't have a son, just two daughters.
- You don't have a son?
- No--well, my oldest daughter Jessica,
she's a little manish
but I wouldn't say she's-- - here he is.
- Hello, icarly people.
Where's my car?
- We're getting it.
- We may not be getting it.
- What?
- This nutloaf says
he doesn't know anything about our contest.
- What?
- Be quiet.
- Make me.
- All right.
I don't have time for this.
I gotta take my daughter
to a special doctor.
- Wait.
- Sir.
- Mr. flanken-- - ahh.
- Well?
- Well.
- Icarly ran an online contest.
I entered and I won a car.
And if you don't give me one,
I'm going to report you
to the lcc for fraud-- - ooh.
- --And have icarly shut down.
- Ooh.
[Music]
- There.
- Done.
- All right.
Thanks a lot, guys.
And, here you go.
- You're light.
- Light?
- You owe us 300.
- Yeah.
- But you said you'd move my spaceship
to storage for a hundred bucks--100.
- Plus 200 to bring the couch back.
- Yeah.
- Okay, wait.
A hundred to move out a huge
proton cruiser spaceship
and 200 just to bring back
this tiny little couch?
- Hey, I had to miss my book club for this.
We were gonna discuss the sisters
who had magic pants.
- You owe us 200 more.
- I don't have 200 more.
Hey, guys, you don't need
to take the couch away.
It's already here.
Come on.
I need that.
This is just creating more work.
That's my sittin' couch.
At the of the book, they find out
the pants aren't magic
and the middle sister dies.
[Faint laser sound]
- And on your web show,
you said all you gotta do
is answer this brain buster,
and I was the first person
to send in the correct answer
to icarly.Com.
And then-- - we know what happened!
- We're not saying you didn't win the car.
- Then where is it?
I don't see a car.
All I hear is a lot prattle, and I--
- hey. Oh, come on.
- Get it off me.
- Oh, you'll get it.
- Get up.
- Come on.
Don't-- - stop.
- Now where is my car?
- Do you not understand
that there's been some kind of mix up?
- Well, let me read you this.
According to section 9
of the Internet legislation act,
"any website "that engages in fraud
"will be subject to immediate termination."
That means either you give me a car
or it's bye-bye icarly.
- If you'll just give us
a couple of days to get-- - wait a minute.
Why do you have that printed out?
- Because I like to print things.
- No, you'd only print that out if you knew
you were gonna need it.
- Yeah.
How did you know
there was gonna be a problem
getting you the car?
- Oh, please.
I don't have time to be interviewed.
- You set this whole thing up.
That Jeffrey guy
or whatever his real name is,
you sent him to us, didn't you?
- Oh, I don't know.
I send a lot of guys a lot of places.
- You evil, evil little elf.
- You can't prove anything, but I can prove
that you owe me a car and I better get it
or you'll rue this day.
Rue it!
- You'll get your car.
- When?
- Soon.
- You have 48 hours, icarly.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock,
tick-tock.
- Hi.
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
- I'm drinking root beer, playing Jacks.
- Jacks?
- I'm up to foursies-- threesies.
- Where'd your proton cruiser go?
- I paid some mean movers
to take it to storage.
- How come?
- 'Cause it wasn't
actually used in galaxy wars,
so I don't wanna look at it.
- Okay, so where's our couch?
- You know, there's more to life
than couches, okay?
- What?
- I don't know.
How'd nevel like his car?
- There is no car.
- What do you mean, no car?
- Nevel set the whole thing up.
- And if we don't get him a car,
he's gonna go to the lcc, claim fraud,
and get icarly shut down.
- Well, okay.
So get the little tug munch a car.
- We can't afford to buy nevel a car.
- Maybe you can.
My buddy socko's got an uncle
you sells used ones.
I bet he can find you a car
and super cheap.
- Okay. What's his name?
- Otto.
- Of course, it is.
[Music]
Are you ready, nevel?
- Yes, my heart is pounding.
- Good.
Maybe it'll explode.
- I didn't come here to be insulted.
You don't even have a car for me, do you?
- Oh, yes, we do.
One-- - two-- - yank.
- Whoa.
- Oh, wow.
- What is that poop?
- It's your new car.
- That car is not new.
- It's new to you.
- I suspected as much.
I figured you icarlys would try
and pull a fast one.
- Who still says "pull a fast one"?
- Mr. bullock.
Mr. bullock.
Over here, sir.
Look.
Look at the automotive abomination
that these people are trying
to foist upon me.
Well, I won't have it.
I simply won't.
- Sir, our contest
promised the winner a car.
- And that is a car.
- Actually, I reviewed your Webcast.
You promised the winner a new car
and, well, this is poo.
- Oh, come on.
- Read them the rules.
- The lcc defines a new car as,
"a unique vehicle that's
"never been state registered
"and can travel "under it's own power
"at the speed
of a least 25 miles per hour."
- But come on.
Can't you give us a break?
- I can give you
another 24 hours, but by then,
if you don't give Mr. papperman a new car,
the lcc will shut down icarly.
Sorry.
- Thank you, Mr. bullock.
Winner says "ha-ha."
- What's wrong with you, nevel?
Why is your lifelong dream
to get rid of icarly?
- It's not.
My lifelong dream
is to open my own haberdashery.
- What is a haberdashery?
- Oh, why does everyone ask that?
A haberdashery is a men's retail shop
that sells men's accessories
such as wallets, hats, buttons,
belts, ribbons, and zippers.
[Music]
[Knocking]
- What's up, Sam?
- Where's Carly?
I've been calling
and texting her for hours.
- Uh, she's been in the shower.
- All day?
- Pretty much.
She takes really long showers
when she gets depressed.
- Well, when do you think she'll come out?
- I don't know.
She took a chair in there.
- Carly, get out of the shower!
- No.
- Hey, you got your couch.
- Yup.
- I thought those mover guys
wanted 200 bucks to bring it back.
- They did, but socko's cousin
only charged me 50 bucks to steal it back.
Thanks, rob.
So, you really think
nevel's gonna have the lcc
shut down icarly?
- Yup, unless we can come up
with a unique vehicle that's never been
state registered and can travel
under its own power at the speed
of at least 25 miles per hour.
- By when?
- Tomorrow.
I know that look.
That's your thinking look.
- Oh, I'm thinking.
You thinking?
- Yeah, I'm thinking
we think of the same thing?
- We are if we're thinking
about a way to give nevel
a vehicle that's never been
state registered
and can go 25 miles an hour.
- Oh, no.
I was thinking about fried chicken.
[Music]
- These are good.
What is this? Pineapple?
- Mango?
- Maybe.
- Well, it could be--
- will you two shut up.
I'm about to rid the Internet
of icarly forever
and you're bumming my Joy.
- Hey, nevel, lookie.
[Music]
- Here you go, nevel.
- Congratulations, winner.
- What, and you think
that rolling space turd
will get icarly off the hook?
- Yeah.
- We think it will.
- Carly, would you say
that this vehicle is unique?
- Oh, it is clearly unique.
- Freddie, has it ever been
state registered?
- Why, no, Carly.
It hasn't.
- Mr. bullock?
- If it can travel at the speed
of at least 25 miles per hour,
it technically qualifies as a new car.
- Well, let's just see.
Let's just see if this thing can do 25.
Okay.
[Screams]
[Loud crash]
[Music]
- Do you think he hit 25 miles an hour?
- Oh, yeah.
- You can't do that kind of damage
to a flower shop unless you're doing
at least 25.
[Sirens]
- Where'd you guys get those ice-pops?
- Over there.
[Music] - You there.
- You want to see us do stuff
you can't see anywhere else?
- Do ya?
- I think they do.
- Then go online to icarly.Com.
- Yeah, go to icarly.Com.
- Use your computer.
- It's the best way to get there.
- Once you get to icarly.Com,
you can see me and Carly.
- And Freddy and Spencer--
- and our other friends.
- Do all kinds of wacky fun stuff.
- You know you like wacky fun stuff.
- So go online to icarly.Com.
- And see stuff
you can't see anywhere else.
- Only at icarly.Com.
- So go there.
- Do it.
- Seriously.
- Baaa.
Captioning performed by peoplesupport transcription & captioning