-So there's lots of different kinds.
-Uh-huh.
-Like, you could get 40-grit or 60-grit, 80-grit.
-Wow.
-And if you want super-fine, you can
go on up to 150-grit or even 200--
-I get it.
There's all different kinds of sandpaper.
-What goes on?
-Hey, what's up?
-Hey, kids.
-You brought a lunch bag.
-Yeah.
Ever since my mum and I have been going to therapy,
she's been trying to be a better parent,
so she packed me a lunch.
-Aw, that's so sweet.
[GROAN]
A fat cake.
Uh, some packets of hot sauce.
-A can of Chug-and-Buzz.
-A C battery.
-And a jar of paprika.
-I said she was trying.
I didn't say she was competent.
-Well, I still think it's great that her mum's trying.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
-Oh, man.
-Shh.
-Why is she all--
-She's got a monster crush on that dude.
-Yeah, I do.
-So it oscillates.
Then it's got three different speeds, so you know,
you just change it up and--
-Hey, man.
Could you point that fan somewhere else?
-Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
-His name's Adam.
-He's a pretty decent-looking dude.
-And here he comes.
-Yeah, and he's walking this way.
-Shut up and be cool. Just shut up and be cool.
-Hey, Carly.
-Hey, Adam.
-What is that, a battery?
-Oh, yeah.
It's a C battery.
It's great for flashlights.
[AWKWARD CHUCKLE]
That didn't go as well as I'd hoped.
THEME SONG: In five, four, three, two--
I know, you see, somehow the world will change for me
and be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air, I know somehow we're
gonna get there and feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel, so wake
up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one.
And it's time to see the brighter
side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be, so give me your best
and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
-OK.
This next question was sent into iCarly.com--
-By a fan named FrogPunch99.
-FrogPunch asks, "Hey, Carly and Sam, what's the proper way
to cook a pickle with a blow torch?"
Excellent question.
-So we called Carly's brother's best friend, Socko--
-Who sent over his couson--
---a professional welder.
-Hi, Bernie.
-Hey, Bernie.
-Hey.
-Will you please show the fans of iCarly the proper way
to cook a pickle with a blow torch?
-OK.
-All righty.
-While Bernie shows that pickle who's in charge--
-We got some pretty cool news for you guys.
-Next weekend, iCarly's going to Webicon.
ALL: Whoo!
ECHOING PA VOICE: Lame somersault!
-Of course, we tried to go to Webicon last year.
-But we were captured by a maniac
who locked us in her basement.
-She tried to kill our friend, Gibby.
-But luckily, Gibby took his shirt off and beat her down.
-Gibby.
-And speaking of Gibby--
-Have you guys checked out the video of Gibby
trying on his new tin foil shorts?
ROBOTIC VOICE: New tin foil shorts.
Tin foil shorts.
-Anyway, back to Webicon.
-ICarly will be a featured guest.
-We're gonna to be on a panel, meet a bunch of you fans--
-Answer questions--
-Sign autographs.
-So if you're gonna be in the area--
-And are a fan of iCarly.
-Who won't kidnap us--
BOTH: See you there.
-Now, let's check back in on our pickle.
-Yep, Mr. Pickle's gonna feel that tomorrow.
-See, the higher the grit number,
the more sand is actually on the--
-I don't care about sandpaper.
-Here you go, buddy.
Eat a few of my fireballs.
[SHOUTING]
-Hey, what are you doing?
-I'm playing World of Warlords.
[SHOUTING]
-Why are you playing in my room?
-Because World of Warlords looks amazing on your TV.
OK, dude.
You keep pushing me?
I am gonna rip you in half!
And gotcha!
[SHOUTING]
Enjoy your ghostly stroll from the graveyard.
-That game is so stupid.
-It's not a game.
It's a lifestyle.
-Actually, it's an MMORPG.
-An MM-what?
[SIGH]
BOTH: Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game.
-I blame myself for asking what.
-I'm gonna go get some cheese so I can eat cheese while I play.
-Hey, can I drive the little boat around your coffee table?
-Sure.
You wanna wear the captain's hat?
-Yes.
[BEEPING]
-Oh my God!
It's Adam!
He wants to video chat!
Be cool.
Hey.
What's up?
-I saw you on iCarly tonight.
-You did?
-Yeah.
Really funny stuff.
[SNORT] Burning a pickle.
-Thanks.
-I've been checking out your whole set.
It is awesome.
-Well, don't you know how to flatter a web girl.
[GROANING]
Shush.
-What was that?
-Oh, it's just Freddie.
-He's there in your room?
-Hey, Adam.
-Nice hat.
-Yeah, well
-Freddie was just heading out.
-Ah.
Guess I'm heading out.
-Leave the hat.
-No, I need to wear it!
-Sorry.
-Um, so are you and Freddie, like, a thing?
-Me and Freddie?
No.
What?
I mean, I'm completely available.
-Good to know.
-Why'd you ask that?
-Cause a lot of your iCarly fans think that you guys are dating,
or that you should be.
-Our fans?
-Yeah.
I was poking around some forums online.
-Oh, and you saw all that Creddie stuff?
-Yes, that was it.
The Creddies.
-Well, the Creddies are just, like, iCarly super fans
who want me and Freddie to get together.
You know, Carly plus Freddie.
Creddie.
And then, there are the Seddie fans
who want Sam and Fred to get together.
-Seddie.
Got it.
So you and Freddy definitely aren't together.
-Oh, God, no.
-Good, because I was wondering if maybe you would want
to catch a movie or something this Saturday.
-Oh, I do, but I can't.
I've got Webicon this Saturday.
iCarly's doing a whole big thing there.
Dang it!
-Well, we'll do it some other time.
-Swear.
-Huh?
-Yeah, sure.
Some other time.
-Will do.
-Hey!
[SCREAM]
-I told you to never sneak up on me
when I'm thinking about boys!
-I'm going to Webicon with you.
-Why?
-Because my buddy online just told me
there's going to be a huge World of Warlords booth there,
and that whoever shows up wearing the most awesome 'stume
wins a big prize.
-Most awesome what?
-'Stume!
It's cool talk for costume.
co-stume?
'Stume?
-Are you sure that saying 'stume doesn't make you a 'ser?
-What's a 'ser?
-Cool talk for loser.
-You know what you're about to lose?
-What?
-The fight we're about to have.
-Don't-- don't do it.
Don't!
-Is this big enough?
-Don't do it!
You're crazy!
-Ooh!
Very big pillow!
-Hey, what's up?
-Hey.
-Hey, what's up?
-So how was school?
-Aced my physics test.
-Nice.
-Got an A on my world history report.
-Good boy.
-Had egg salad for lunch.
-Tasty.
-You making a new sculpture?
-Nope.
This is my Aruthor costume.
-Whoa!
-Aruthor?
-Who's Aruthor?
-Oh, come on.
Aruthor is the greatest warrior in the entire realm
of World of Warlords.
His powers are equaled by no other.
-Except maybe Aspartame.
-Please, Aruthor would annihilate Aspartame
if they could ever do battle.
-Why can't they do battle?
[LAUGHTER]
-Why can't they do battle?
Aruthor is the supreme warrior of the Hoobshor Fjords.
-Aspartame is the supreme warrior of the Pernicious Berm.
-It's so weird, how you guys don't have girlfriends.
-Isn't it?
-See, Aru-thor!
Aruthor and Aspartame are separated
by the Farquad Dimensional Plane.
-Really?
-Because if they ever met face to face--
-The ensuing battle would be so volatile,
it could destroy the multiverse.
FREDDIE: Not just our universe, but all others.
-I'm having diet soda.
-Hey, wanna help me glue the jewels on my butt flap?
-Sure.
-This is diet.
-I told you it was diet.
Now go get a sponge.
-Hi!
Carly!
Sam, Freddie, hi!
-Hi.
-Hey.
-I'm Corbin Davis, Webicon VIP liaison.
-Whoa, liason.
-We're so happy to have you here at Webicon.
-Thanks.
-I was supposed to be your liaison last year,
but then you went and got kidnapped by that psychopath.
-Yeah, Nora.
-We remember.
-She had a chicken.
-Did we lose Spencer?
-No, I thought he was right behind us.
You think maybe he got--
-I am Aruthor, the-- ow!
Those close hard.
I am Aruthor, defender of the Hoobshor Fjords!
-Hi.
I'm Corbin Davis, VIP liaison.
-Hey, you got a couple of broken steam pipes outside of the door
right there.
You might want to get that checked out.
-We'll look into it.
-All right.
Is there a bathroom around here?
I drank a lot of juice.
-Uh, sure.
There's one right next to the iCarly conference hall.
-Wow, we have our own conference hall?
-I am Aruthor!
-OK.
We're going to walk past some fans
over there, so stay close together.
-All right.
-Sounds good.
[GASP]
-Look!
It's iCarly!
[SCREAMING]
-Hey!
-Go help him!
[GROANING]
[YELLING]
FREDDIE: Oh, I'm stuck on your hair.
Oh, my face.
Oh, no.
Careful, careful!
-Dude!
Are you OK?
-Those girls almost tore you to pieces.
-I know.
GIRL IN CROWD: Freddie, come back!
[SCREAMING]
-Freddie!
Freddie!
Just go in there and get Freddie.
-I already saved him once.
That's all he gets from me.
-Well, I can't just leave him in there.
We've got to
-Step aside, young wenchlings, for I am Aruthor.
I will save Fredward by using my long staff.
Fredward!
Fredward Benson, hear my fierce bellowing!
Soon, you shall be-- hey, quit pulling my staff!
Hey, I made this!
I'm serious!
Did you see that?
They took my long staff.
-Bummer.
-Tragedy.
-Hey, guys.
Not cool.
Whoever took my-- oh!
[SCREAMING]
Jiminy!
Oh, that hurt so bad.
-Here's your nerd stick.
-Oh.
-Ow, ow!
Nice meeting you, girls.
-I'm going to go sign up for the 'stume contest.
-'Stume?
-It's a cool abbreviation for costume.
-Oh, that is cool.
-Don't be an erk.
-Bye, Spencer.
[GROANING]
Bye.
-Hey, lady!
-Adam!
You came to Webicon!
-I came to see you.
-Aw, he came to see me.
-Nice.
-Sweet.
-Are you gonna come watch us on the panel?
-Front row, centre.
-Yay!
-Whee.
-OK, we're gonna take you guys through another way.
-Let's do it, baby.
-Wait, Gibby's supposed to meet us by that door.
-Where is Gibby?
-His grandfather's driving him and Guppy here.
-But I thought his grandfather's driver's license
was revoked, like, two years ago.
-(SINGING) My old lady's got no teeth, doo-dah, doo-dah.
-Grandpa!
-What?
-Will you please quit singing that song?
-Oh, great.
I spent seven years fighting a war in Korea.
Now, I can't even do my doo-dah song.
-The Korean War only lasted two years.
-I know, but I met a lady.
Hey, don't tell your grandmother.
[CHUCKLE]
-My pants are too tight.
-Why can't I just take a cab to Webicon?
-I can't eat corn.
-Corn?
No, it's Web-i-con.
-Oh.
-And we're already an hour late.
-Well, it's not me.
It's that dope in front of me.
He won't move his car.
[HORN BEEPS] Move it, you turtle.
Move it!
-Grandpa?
Huh?
-We're still parked.
-Oh.
-Just drive.
-OK.
-(SINGING) Camptown lady, sing your song--
-Guppy!
-(SINGING SADLY) Doo-dah.
-Wow.
Your Aruthor costume is, like, so level 90.
-Thank you.
-Seriously, epic 'stume.
-I made it myself.
-What?
-Dude, you might win the competition with that 'stume?
-I'm sorry, did I hear you say the word "might?"
-Well, don't get too cocky.
-Why not?
I think I'm just cocky enough.
-Yeah?
Did you see the guy in the Aspartame costume over there?
-Aspartame?
Where?
-Oh my God.
Aruthor and Aspartame.
-Face to face.
-It seems so real.
-Shh, shh.
-Aspartame.
Aruthor.
[YELP]
CORBIN: The iCarly Q&A panel will begin in just a couple
of minutes, so please take a seat as soon as you can.
Thank you.
-I can't believe you made me wait in line for two hours
to see iCarly.
-I've wait in line for things that were important to you.
You think I wanted to see "Wicked?"
-It was fantastic.
-Oh, there's two seats right there by Gavin.
-Hey, Craig.
Eric.
How are you boys?
CORBIN: Attention.
Attention, iCarly fans.
Now first, I'd like to welcome you all to Webicon.
AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: Webicon!
AUDIENCE MEMBER 2: I love this place!
CORBIN: Thank you all for coming.
I know you're all big fans.
I know I'm a big fan as well.
Now, I just want to--
-Where's Sam?
How could she just wander off?
-You're gonna have a lot of questions-- a lot of questions.
-Here she comes.
-It's very important we see those hands raised.
We're gonna take hands raised.
If you don't raise your hand, we're
not going to take your question, OK?
-Look at this.
Please look at what they're selling here.
-Fat Shake?
-Brand new from the good people who bring us Fat Cakes.
-And now, without further ado--
-My name is Adu!
-All right.
Here they are, iCarly!
[CHEERING]
CORBIN: OK, let's get started.
Who has a question for the iCarly crew?
-I do!
-Adu.
-Yes, you guys are so awesome.
-Thank you!
FREDDIE: Really appreciate that.
That's very kind.
-Do you have a question?
-No, please.
-OK.
How about a question?
-You in the pink shirt.
-Um, I've watched every iCarly web show ever,
and regarding Sam's blue remote control, which
I have a photo of here, if you count up all the sounds
that the remote has made, it's a total
of 93 unique sound effects, yet there
are only six buttons on the remote.
-Well, I designed the remote to be programmable
so I can assign the buttons whatever
sound effects we need that week.
CROWD: Oh.
-Told you.
-Uh, next question.
-The girl with a bow in her hair.
-Hi!
First, thanks for noticing my hair bow.
Um, I'd like to begin by apologising
for my speech issues.
I was cured for a short time but then suffered a relapse.
-Your question?
-Right.
As you can see, I'm a Creddy shipper.
-Boo!
Seddie!
[CHEERING]
-All right, all right!
One at a time, please.
Let hair bow finish her question.
GIRL: Thank you.
Carly and Freddie, what are the circumstances
surrounding your romantic relationship?
Details, please.
-Freddie and I aren't in a romantic relationship.
-Respectfully, I disagree.
-Yeah, if you look here on my PearPad,
you'll see screen caps I've taken from actual iCarly
webisodes proving that Carly and Freddie do like each other.
-Seddie!
[ARGUING]
-Here's one where Freddie touches Carly's shoulder.
And in this screen cap, Carly, look
at the way you're staring into Freddie's eyes.
-Well, yeah, because had a tiny little pimple on his nose.
-It was a blackhead.
-Uh, next question.
Uh, man boobs in the back there.
-Yeah, I uh-- I gotta agree with, uh, hair bow and PearPad.
Anybody who's ever even been to iCarly.com
can easily see that Carly and Freddie are in love.
-No, we're not.
-We really aren't.
We really aren't.
-Admit it!
-Sit down!
-Relax, Momma's got this.
[FEEDBACK NOISES]
All right, listen up.
It's true, Carly and Freddie are deeply in love.
[CHEERING]
Oh, come on.
This is fun!
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Creddie!
-You are an erk!
Adam!
-Carly, wait!
Bring me an extra Fat Shake.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Yeah, Freddie!
Freddie rules!
CORBIN: OK, please, settle down.
Take your seats.
The iCarly Q&A panel will resume in a moment.
-It better resume!
-You gotta taste this Fat Shake.
-Will you pull your head out of your Fat Shake
and listen to me?
-What?
-Carly really likes that Adam guy, and now he--
-Hey.
-Don't hey me.
-Did you tell Adam that Sam was kidding?
-Yes, but he still thinks you and I have some thing going on.
-Why?
-Because you just said so into a microphone!
-Well, then bring him back in here and I'll fix this.
-He won't come back.
He's outside waiting for a shuttle.
-A shuttle?
-Yes.
A shuttle is going to come get my cute future husband
and shuttle him right out of my life.
-Well, what do you want me to--
-Just go and tell him that you were
kidding about me and Carly.
-Right now.
[GROANING]
-Can I borrow this extension cord?
-No.
-Yeah, well, I'm taking it.
-Your costume's impressive.
Quite impressive.
-Thank you.
-In some ways.
-What mean you, some?
-Your 'stume is good for an amateur.
CROWD: Ooh.
-Uh, this costume is an exact representation of Aruthor.
-Yeah, if you're basing it on the beta version.
CROWD: Ooh.
-What are you saying?
-I'm saying that your Tyranian belt
buckle is improperly bejewelled.
-What's wrong with my jewel?
-The proper sequence is red, red, green, yellow red, blue,
yellow, yellow, indigo, not red, green, red, yellow,
yellow, blue, yellow, yellow, indigo.
Idiot.
-Oh, yeah?
Well, Aspartame's breastplate is supposed
to have 12 copper rivets on it, one
for each elf on the High Council.
Yours has 13.
CROWD: Ooh!
-Have you anointed a new elf that none of we know about?
-Oh, I'm sorry Aruthor.
Is that a burlap cape?
Because isn't it supposed to be made of jute?
-No, no, no.
You cannot tell what the fabric is
by looking at the character artwork.
-Really?
Well, then maybe you should have watched the bonus content
on the Frothy Brook Expansion Pack instal disc.
CROWD: Ooh.
-Well, excuse me, but I'm pretty sure your costume's not
supposed to have a mustard stain right there.
-I had a corn dog.
-Interesting, because Aspartame is supposed to be a vegetarian!
-We don't have time for this!
-There's always time for soup.
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): Welcome to Inside-Out Burger.
Would you like to try our new southwestern combo?
-Who said that?
-It was the drive-through guy.
-Oh.
-French fries!
-Why kind of soup do you have?
-They don't have soup.
-Eh, I think I'll have the chicken soup.
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): We don't have soup.
-Who said that?
-The drive-through guy!
-Oh.
-French fries!
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): OK, so that's two large French fries.
-Yay!
-No!
Just one order of fries.
-Who are you talking to?
-The drive-through guy!
-Ask him if he's got any soup.
-They don't have soup!
-Oh.
-French fries!
-Will you quit that?
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): OK, so three large fries?
-No!
Grandpa, why can't we just get food at Webicon?
-You know I can't eat corn!
-Webicon!
-I'm hearing the voices.
[YELLING]
-Uh, yeah, the guy over there in the sweater vest.
-Hi.
Craig Ramirez from San Diego.
-You don't need to announce your name and point of origin.
-Carly and Freddie, is it difficult for you
guys to work together, considering
the fact that you're dating each other?
-OK, for the 10th time, Carly and I are not dating.
-You've only denied it nine times.
[GROAN]
-Look, do you have a question that's
not about me and Freddie dating?
-So you and Freddie are dating.
-I want him out of here.
Can someone get him out of here?
-Great, now you got us kicked out,
just like the Teen Choice Awards.
-Oh, that was your fault.
-You're the one who had to touch Justin Bieber's hair.
-You have the breath of a dastardly goat
with infected gums.
-Your words have no bite, for they are spoken
by a gutless thief sprung from a lineage
of cowards and hog farmers.
CROWD: Ooh!
-OK, seriously, dude.
You take that back right now.
-No returns, man.
I put it out there, and it's staying out there.
[CHANTING]
-Oh my God.
-It's the battle chant of the Pernicious Berm!
-This is epic!
-Pernicious Berm, Pernicious Berm.
-Hey, he's calling you out.
You better split.
-Pernicious Berm, Pernicious Berm.
-Aruthor backs down from no challenge.
Hold my long staff.
-Pernicious Berm, Pernicious Berm.
[CHANTING]
-No way.
No way!
-It's the Doomsday Chant of the Hoobshor Fjords!
-This is epic!
-The prophecy.
(SINGING) You maggot, you fool, know you not what you say?
Prepare to be pwned by Aspartame!
-(SINGING) You look like you're hungry,
so taste the blade of Aruthor.
-(SINGING) Your blood, it will boil.
Your flesh, I shall burn it.
It's eternal damnation, but I guess that you've earned it.
-(SINGING) You will beg for mercy
when I own you in the face.
-(SINGING) I'll thrust my sword through your lily-white gullet.
You look like a troll with a chambermaid's mullet.
-(SINGING) You emanate a stench so foul that when you're near,
it makes me howl.
-(SINGING) I'll bleed ye dry and ye shall cry wah,
wah, wah, wah, bah, bah, bah, bah.
(SINGING) With my sword, my wand--
-(SINGING) Thy heart is cowardly and black.
-(SINGING) I'll send you back from whence you came.
-(SINGING) Where I'm sending you, you're never coming back.
I'll kick ye in the kidneys--
(SINGING) I'll dance upon your entrails
-(SINGING) --and poke thee in thine eyeballs.
-(SINGING) --while your mother watches.
(SINGING) You yeasty little mudwarp.
-(SINGING) My gear is fully epic--
-(SINGING) I shall sever thy tongue.
-(SINGING) --and yours is epic fail!
[BOTH SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER]
-Sound the blow-far!
[HORN BLOWING]
[YELLING]
-Oh, what kind of a restaurant doesn't have soup?
I thought this was America.
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): Sir, I can only offer you
the food we have on our menu.
-Well, put soup on the menu, why don't you?
EMPLOYEE (OVER INTERCOM): OK, I'm not talking to you anymore.
-Hello, sir.
Would you like some soup?
-I've been telling you I want some soup.
-OK.
We have soup now.
-Oh.
-Would you like chicken noodle, split pea--
-Oh, split pea.
I love split pea.
You can split that pea right up the middle.
-Oh, that's great news.
Please pull forward.
-Ah.
-French fries!
[GASPS]
-Would you-- would you put me down?
-No.
-Hey, Sam's back.
[APPLAUSE]
-Put me down!
-You tied him up?
-He was resisting.
-People!
Yo, people!
Fans of iCarly, listen up!
-Oh, Sam's going to speak to us.
-Thank you, Adu.
-OK, I got two important things to say.
First, I don't know if people have tried a Fat Shake yet,
but I have, and it's like sucking heaven through a straw.
[APPLAUSE]
-She sure can turn a phrase.
-And second, I was just messing with you guys
when I said Carly and Freddie were in love.
[GASPS]
-Wait, you were joking?
-Yep.
[LAUGHTER]
-She pulled our collective legs!
-And if he's not dating Carly, then he's gotta be dating Sam.
-No, no, no, that's not--
-Yes!
Sam and Freddie for the win!
-No!
-You guys!
-Seddie!
-Stop it!
FREDDIE: Guys!
CROWD: [CHANTING "SEDDIE"]
-No, no, wait.
Freddie, you and Carly are meant for each other.
Creddie!
[SHOUTING]
-Hey!
Will you guys knock it off?
-Come on, everybody!
Please sit!
-Calm down before this gets out of hand!
Stool!
It's out of hand.
-It's just like one of my family reunions,
except most of these people are wearing shoes.
-Look at them!
Sam started a fan war!
You have to stop this.
That crowd is packed with nerds.
-So?
-Don't you understand?
A nerd riot can last for days.
Many of these people don't have jobs or lives to get back to.
Come on, they'll listen to you guys.
Please!
-Attention!
-People!
Settle down!
(SCREAMING) Stop it!
Enfin!
-Now please listen.
No one is dating anyone on iCarly.
I'm not dating Freddie.
Freddie's not dating Sam.
None of us are dating.
-You lie!
[YELLING]
-Oog Fightius!
[HORN BLOWS]
This is so cool.
-Long staff.
-Wrist balls.
[HORN BLOWS]
[SCREAMING]
-How many times I gotta tell you?
We don't sell soup here.
-We're late to Webicon.
-You promised me split pea soup!
-I did not!
-Just drive away.
-French fries!
-Oh, just give me the kid's food.
-Hey, that's for the next car.
-Oh, it's mine now.
-Give that back!
-It's mine.
Get off it.
Get off it!
-French fries!
French fries!
-Do you want me to call the manager?
-I'll get my-- egh.
-Drive away!
Oh, you took the man!
[YELLING]
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Stop fighting!
You don't need to do this!
Have you no sense of decency?
-Look, I got one side done.
-Nice.
[CROWD CHEERING]
-Hold my long staff.
-Well, well.
I think Aruthor deserves a special gift.
-Oh my God.
Aruthor is about to get pwned.
-Feast on this nugget of contusion.
-Wait, wait.
Do not throw-- oh!
[GASPS]
[YELLING]
-Total pwnage.
-That was over the line, man!
-What?
The great Aruthor can't handle the nugget?
-No, your nugget is just a rock you painted gold.
-Wrong, sir.
It's a cement rock that I painted bronze.
-Well, Aspartame, choke on my weeping gases
of eternal suffering.
[SCREAMING]
-Oh my God, that's horrible.
What is that?
-Chlorine.
-Aspartame!
-Aruthor!
-Shall we test your skills with the tenacious flogger?
-Only if you like being tenaciously flogged.
CROWD: Ooh.
[HORN BLOWS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
-Here, this is our chief of security.
He's got a flare shooter.
-Good.
Give me that.
-That quieted them down.
-Wait.
You fired three flares, but only two went off.
-Uh, did anyone see where the third flare went?
-I got it.
So can I keep it, or do I--
[CRASHING NOISES]
-OK, moving on.
Uh, we have some things to say.
-We love all fans of iCarly.
-Totally.
-The average fans.
-The super fans.
-The psycho fans.
-Even the super-psycho fans.
-But iCarly is not really about our romantic relationships.
-I mean, sure, we're better-than-average-looking
teenagers with "those feelings."
-But iCarly is about comedy-- stupid, pointless comedy-- just
to make people smile and laugh.
-Sometimes groan.
-I know the whole who should date
who thing can be fun to think about.
-But don't get too caught up in that stuff, you know?
-Sometimes, you should just watch iCarly, laugh,
and share an apple with a friend.
-Any fruit, really.
-Honestly, I'm not dating anyone right now,
and the only guy I want to be dating
is sitting right there, tied up with an extension cord.
-Now I get it.
This guy took Carly away from Freddie.
-Creddy killer!
-Let's get this guy!
-Hey, wait!
-Wait!
No, you guys!
Did no one understand what I was trying to-- oh, forget it.
-Come on, let's get him out of here!
Go, go, go!
-How can I just leave Adam like that?
-He belongs to them now.
[SCREAMING]
-Yep, poor Adam.
Let's go.
[YELLING]
AUDIENCE MEMBER (THROUGH MEGAPHONE):
Behold, the kids from iCarly approacheth.
-I learned my skill in Asgard!
-Spencer!
Spencer!
Aruthor!
Stop playing with your friend.
We're going home.
-He's not my friend.
He's mean.
-Who dare interrupt this epic battle?
-She is Carly, sister of Aruthor.
-Sister?
Aruthor has a sister?
-Leave her be!
-Admit that my costume is superior to yours.
-No!
Release the girl.
-Say your costume's lame.
-OK.
Your costume's lame.
[LAUGHTER]
-You know that's not what I meant.
-Too bad.
-For you, for now you shall watch
as your sister feels the power--
-Just bite his thumb.
---of 1,001-- ow!
Son of a belch, mate, you bit my thumb.
Oh, man.
You bit Aspartame's thumb.
You made my thumb throb, and now, you
shall feel the wrath of 1,001 black--
[GASPS]
-Ha!
My sister has snatched your brawny jewel.
[HORN BLOWS]
[MOANING]
What is going on?
-You snatched his brawny jewel.
That was his life force, so now Aspartame must die.
-Well, technically, he could reanimate,
but it would take the combined powers
of all 99 mages and the--
-He's gonna die.
-He's just gonna die.
[SAD MUSIC PLAYING]
-(SINGING) Ye, though my body shall be cast away,
in the Pernicious Berm, my heart will always stay.
Farewell to Aspartame.
-Now can we go home?
-After we blow the horns of our forefathers,
symbolising the vanquishment.
-We're going home.
-I'll get the car.
-You said there'd be soup here.
-I lied.
-Happy birthday.
SAM: What are you doing right now?
-Making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
If you want one, you can have any of mine.
FREDDIE: You sure?
-Anyone, anyone.
I'm sure.
Not kidding.
OK.
FREDDIE: That's very generous of you.
SAM: I'll take the third one you make, so make that one
the best.
-OK.
Okey-dokey.
SAM: And I asked you, and you're making
the third one-- if it's the best.
It better be, OK?
-OK.