1 00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:10,761 - Hey, hey. I'm not here for your entertainment. 2 00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,347 I'm a foot. Leave me alone. 3 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:15,140 - Oh, foot. 4 00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:18,477 - [knock on door] - Hey, Carly. 5 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:19,979 - Oh, hey. - Is Sam here? 6 00:00:20,019 --> 00:00:21,355 - No, why? 7 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,943 - 'Cause I pulled a prank on her. 8 00:00:25,985 --> 00:00:27,611 - You pulled a prank on Sam? - Uh-huh. 9 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,738 - What, are you tired of living? 10 00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,573 Why would you mess with Sam? 11 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,368 - Because she put a dead fish in my locker. Smell this. 12 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:38,288 - No. Gross. I don't wanna smell your fishy backpack. 13 00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:41,124 What prank did you play on Sam? - Open the door! 14 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,794 - Call the police. - SAM: Open this door! 15 00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,295 - Leave me alone, Sam! We're even. 16 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,130 - [growls] 17 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,383 Come here, Benson! 18 00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,926 - You handcuffed her to Gibby? 19 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,594 - She put a dead fish in my locker. 20 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,222 - Gibby's way worse than a dead fish! 21 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:57,558 - My mom thinks I'm awesome. 22 00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:01,729 - Just give me the key! - Give her the key. 23 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:04,314 - Only if she promises-- - [screams] 24 00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,901 - No, Sam. Don't, don't! - Go away. Go away! 25 00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,485 - No, no, no! - Carly, call the police! 26 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:12,155 - [screaming] - [arguing] 27 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,616 - Freddie-- - Somebody help me! 28 00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,368 - Ow, my arm! 29 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,828 - Where's the key? 30 00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:19,371 - In my front pants pocket, left side. 31 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:21,916 - Get the key out of his pocket. - Okay. 32 00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:23,918 Eww, no. 33 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,961 - Just let me up and I'll give you the key. 34 00:01:26,003 --> 00:01:27,337 - Please! 35 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:31,132 - Now, unlock me. 36 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:36,764 - [crying] 37 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:40,434 - Like Gibby's therapist didn't have enough to deal with. 38 00:01:42,061 --> 00:01:44,063 - Come on, you put a dead fish in my locker. 39 00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,856 I handcuffed you to Gibby. We're even. 40 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:50,527 - Yay! Who wants lemonade? - I don't play to get even. 41 00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,906 Mama plays to win. 42 00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,536 I'm gonna get you. 43 00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,832 Maybe not today, 44 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,334 maybe not tomorrow, 45 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,295 but I'm gonna get you. 46 00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:10,547 - I'm not scared. 47 00:02:12,049 --> 00:02:13,550 - Really? 48 00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,140 - Are you gonna throw up in it? - Uh-huh. 49 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:26,981 In five, four, three, two-- 50 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:29,942 - ♪ 51 00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:32,277 - CARLY: ♪ I know, you see ♪ 52 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,488 ♪ Somehow the world will change for me ♪ 53 00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,324 ♪ And be so wonderful ♪ 54 00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:41,286 ♪ Live life, breathe air ♪ 55 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,413 ♪ I know somehow we're gonna get there ♪ 56 00:02:43,455 --> 00:02:46,416 ♪ And feel so wonderful ♪ 57 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:51,964 ♪ It's all for real ♪ 58 00:02:52,006 --> 00:02:54,341 ♪ I'm telling you just how I feel ♪ 59 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:58,219 ♪ So wake up, the members of my nation ♪ 60 00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,847 ♪ It's your time to be ♪ 61 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:03,058 ♪ There's no chance unless you take one ♪ 62 00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,477 ♪ Every time just see the brighter side... ♪ 63 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:09,023 ♪ ...of every situation ♪ 64 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,525 ♪ Some things are meant to be so give it your best ♪ 65 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:14,153 ♪ And leave the rest to me ♪ 66 00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,487 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 67 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:16,571 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 68 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,532 ♪ Leave it all to me ♪ 69 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:21,535 ♪ Just leave it all to me ♪ 70 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:34,506 - ♪ 71 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,091 - Spencer hikes the ball. 72 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,843 He looks, he sees-- Spencer Shay 73 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,679 is handsome and open, pressure, laterals, 74 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,305 touchdown! 75 00:03:42,347 --> 00:03:43,390 - We're back. - S'up, Spence? 76 00:03:43,431 --> 00:03:46,101 - [screams] - Hey! 77 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,269 - Hey. Where have you guys been? 78 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,689 - A movie. - We saw "The First Kiss." 79 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,524 - Eww. How was it? 80 00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:55,152 - Same as every other stupid teen chick movie ever made. 81 00:03:55,194 --> 00:03:56,945 - It made me embarrassed to be a teen chick. 82 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,115 - So what up with that thing? 83 00:04:00,157 --> 00:04:02,117 - He wants to be a professional football player. 84 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,285 - Hey, come on. It could happen. 85 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,121 - Sure, if all the other professional football players 86 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:10,000 are eaten by lions. - Uh, wrong. 87 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,877 The Seattle Cobras are holding open tryouts 88 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,963 for the first time ever and I'm going for it. 89 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,924 - It's his dream that will never be. 90 00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:20,135 - Oh, yeah? Hold this. 91 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,720 - What are you doing? 92 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,180 - Sam, you throw pretty hard, right? 93 00:04:23,222 --> 00:04:24,932 - Yeah, I can throw. - Good. 94 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,559 I want you to throw me that ball as hard as you can 95 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:29,310 then I'm gonna run it all the way back 96 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:32,731 through that door and see if you guys can stop me. 97 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,817 - What's this gonna prove? - We're ninth grade girls. 98 00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,903 - SPENCER: Just throw the ball! 99 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,867 Ahhh! - Sorry. 100 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,368 - Are you okay? 101 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,583 - I'm fine. 102 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,543 Just next time, if you can throw the ball 103 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:55,420 a little higher, that'll be great. 104 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:59,591 - ♪ 105 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:03,178 - Hey. What's the baseball bat for? 106 00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:07,557 - Nothin'. As long as Sam keeps her distance. 107 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,768 - Relax. I'm too tired to get you back tonight. 108 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:14,189 - Good. So, how was "The First Kiss"? 109 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:15,857 - Worst movie ever. 110 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:17,818 - I told you guys that movie was gonna be awful. 111 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,237 I mean, even the title, "The First Kiss." 112 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,157 - I know. - So, who was yours? 113 00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,908 - Who was my what? - Your first kiss. 114 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,326 - Sam. 115 00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:29,079 - Come on, we're all friends here. 116 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:32,249 Well, two friends and a coworker. 117 00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:35,252 Who was your first kiss? 118 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,171 - Okay. It was Ben Hoobsher. 119 00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,967 - Nobody's last name is Hoobsher. 120 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:44,136 - Yes, it is. 121 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:45,679 He kissed me under a kumquat tree 122 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,555 and his lips tasted like potato salad. 123 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:50,642 - Was it good? 124 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:52,644 - Hmm, just an average little kiss. 125 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:55,814 - No, the potato salad. - Oh, yeah. Really good. 126 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:57,398 - Nice. 127 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,984 My first kiss was with Buddy Hinten 128 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:03,488 at a Cuddlefish concert, in a porta-potty. 129 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:08,660 - Hmm, so romantic. - Whatever. 130 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,913 All I know is, now I can't stop thinking about potato salad. 131 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,207 Does that little market across the street 132 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,916 stay open late? - Yeah, 'til 10. 133 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,584 - Does that skeevy guy still hang around out front? 134 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,462 - Yeah. - I'll be back. 135 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:29,056 - So, who was your first kiss? - You don't need to know. 136 00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:31,558 - I absolutely need to know. 137 00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,856 - Ah, I need money from other people. 138 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:42,152 - Okay. Then, just tell me her first name. 139 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,697 - Oh, is that a new ceiling? 140 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,449 - Who was your first kiss? 141 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:52,287 - I haven't had my first kiss. - Oh, shut up. 142 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,374 - I've never kissed anyone. 143 00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:57,792 - But what about that rotten girl 144 00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:00,295 you dated last year, Valerie? 145 00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,463 You kissed her, right? - No. 146 00:07:02,505 --> 00:07:04,549 Well, for like half a second at school 147 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,134 with a bunch of other kids hanging around. 148 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:10,305 But, no, I've never had a real kiss. 149 00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,557 - Oh. 150 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:18,105 Well, I think it's kind of sweet 151 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,689 that you haven't kissed anyone yet. 152 00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:21,900 - It's not sweet. It's lame. 153 00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,402 And you've gotta swear to me 154 00:07:23,442 --> 00:07:25,695 that you won't tell anyone, especially Sam. 155 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,155 - CARLY: There's nothin' to be embarrassed of. 156 00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,865 - FREDDIE: Carly, I mean it. 157 00:07:28,907 --> 00:07:30,409 Promise me? - CARLY: I promise. 158 00:07:30,449 --> 00:07:35,414 - ♪ 159 00:07:35,454 --> 00:07:36,957 - Catch it. Catch it! 160 00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:38,959 Catch it. Yes! Now, run! 161 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,668 Go! Run, run, run! Good! You got it! 162 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,087 You got-oh! You fell down. 163 00:07:44,298 --> 00:07:45,590 - Aren't you supposed to be training 164 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,342 for the Cobra's tryouts? - I am training. 165 00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:48,885 I'm watching football, 166 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:52,806 learning about football, snuggling a football. 167 00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,808 - I knew you weren't gonna take this seriously. 168 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,475 - I am too taking it seriously. 169 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:59,854 I just can't get-- - Off your lazy butt? 170 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,023 - All right. There. 171 00:08:02,065 --> 00:08:04,151 Look, my butt's up and moving. 172 00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,113 - Great, 'cause I'm sure all professional 173 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,531 football players do that. - They would if they could. 174 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:13,868 Oh, cramp! Oh, cramp! Oh, cramp. 175 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:18,415 Cramp! Oh! Ow! 176 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,667 Ow! 177 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:24,421 - Okay. Now that you're done doing the butt-cramp dance, 178 00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:26,381 you need to exercise. 179 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:28,091 - Well, it's hard to exercise 180 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,635 when you don't have someone there to motivate you. 181 00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,720 - Do you really wanna be a Seattle Cobra? 182 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,140 - Yes, with all my heart. - Okay. 183 00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:36,850 Then I'm gonna motivate you. - Huh. 184 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:39,102 - You're gonna start by building up some muscle. 185 00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:40,479 - I have muscles. 186 00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:42,689 - Do you? - Yes. 187 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,150 - Then, take off your shirt and jump up and down. 188 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:47,277 - I don't want to. - Why not? 189 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,697 - 'Cause I'll jiggle. 190 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,449 - Then you need to build some muscle. 191 00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,993 - How? - Oh, I'll show you how. 192 00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,913 - [screams] - Come on! 193 00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,748 - [screams] I'm going. - Is that all you got? 194 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,292 - [screams] - Be a man! 195 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,877 - [screams] - You can do better than that! 196 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,379 - [screams] - Stop jiggling! 197 00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:06,921 - [groans] - Come on! 198 00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:08,423 - It burns! - Hurry up! 199 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:11,885 A hundred and ten percent. - Oh. 200 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:13,761 Oh, god. 201 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,390 Oh, man, how long have I been running? 202 00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:17,516 - A minute and 45 seconds. 203 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:21,436 Keep going! 204 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:24,272 - It's so boring, just going around in circles. 205 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,566 - Okay, then take me upstairs. - What? 206 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:30,445 - You heard me. Upstairs! - Okay! 207 00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:34,615 [screams] 208 00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:37,118 - Quit complaining. - [screams] 209 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,037 - CARLY: Come on! - Oh, this is impossible! 210 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,580 - CARLY: Move it! 211 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,165 - SPENCER: [screams] What have you been eating? 212 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:44,418 - CARLY: You can do it. - SPENCER: Oh, my groin! 213 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:48,296 [screams] 214 00:09:48,338 --> 00:09:50,173 - Okay. Next on iCarly-- 215 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:53,801 - Please enjoy this preview of a new movie called-- 216 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:57,013 - BOTH: "Kelly Cooper. Terrible Movie." 217 00:09:59,474 --> 00:10:01,059 - ANNOUNCER: Kelly Cooper: 218 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:04,645 she just wanted to fit in with the popular crowd. 219 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,523 - You wanna fit in with the popular crowd? 220 00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:08,733 - I do. - Well, too bad! 221 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,527 - No! 222 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,740 - ANNOUNCER: But Kelly had other ideas. 223 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:19,494 She tried on a bunch of different clothes... 224 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,916 ...danced all around... 225 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:30,464 - ♪ 226 00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:32,215 - ANNOUNCER: ...fell down a few times... 227 00:10:32,257 --> 00:10:33,467 - [screams] 228 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,387 - ANNOUNCER: ...and somewhere along the way, 229 00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:40,348 she met the guy of her dreams. 230 00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,891 - I can't be your boyfriend. 231 00:10:41,933 --> 00:10:44,727 - You can be whatever you wanna be, Chad. 232 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:52,110 - ♪ 233 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,112 - [screams] 234 00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,116 - ANNOUNCER: And now, Kelly's turning the whole town 235 00:10:58,158 --> 00:10:59,618 upside down. 236 00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:02,496 - Come on, everyone, jump around with me. 237 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:09,252 - ♪ 238 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:11,671 - [exhales] 239 00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:15,342 I can't believe this! I never lose. 240 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,511 - Guess you got your comeuppance. 241 00:11:17,552 --> 00:11:22,182 - Sorry, Natalie. Or should I say, Nata-loser. 242 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,227 - [crying] 243 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:29,523 - ANNOUNCER: A comedy no one wants to see. 244 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:35,736 - [screams] - ANNOUNCER: It's really bad. 245 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,780 - [applause] 246 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,282 - Oh, oh, please. - Yeah, thank you so much. 247 00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,741 Thanks, really. 248 00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:42,452 - It's definitely too much of us, really-- 249 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,245 - Okay, that wraps up iCarly for tonight, so-- 250 00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:45,746 - Oh, wait. 251 00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,999 Just one more little thing. - What? 252 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,585 - You guys all know our technical producer, Freddie. 253 00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:51,794 Show yourself to the people, Freddie. 254 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:56,049 - Hello. 255 00:11:57,676 --> 00:12:00,345 - That was Freddie, who last week, handcuffed me to a nerd. 256 00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:03,181 So now, guess what? 257 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:08,019 Freddie has never kissed a girl. Never. Not once. 258 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,272 I heard him say so myself and Carly is a witness. 259 00:12:14,192 --> 00:12:16,277 Okay. Later. 260 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:22,075 - Sam! Sam! 261 00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,910 You just ruined Freddie's life! 262 00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:28,540 - ♪ 263 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:34,546 - ♪ 264 00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,214 - FREDDIE: I don't wanna be here. 265 00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,425 - Come on. Come on. 266 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:41,511 - FREDDIE: I don't wanna-- I don't--I-- - Come on. 267 00:12:46,224 --> 00:12:48,142 - I don't wanna be here. 268 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,728 - You can't ditch school. 269 00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:51,229 - Everyone's gonna make fun of me. 270 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:53,064 - You're being way too dramatic about this. 271 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,024 Now, come on, take off that insane disguise. 272 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,076 See? No one's laughing. 273 00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:06,327 I told you, you're being way too dramatic-- 274 00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:08,705 - Hey, it's Benson. 275 00:13:08,747 --> 00:13:10,957 - [kissing noises] 276 00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:12,626 - [laughter] 277 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:19,048 - Give me my afro. - No. 278 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:20,717 Just 'cause a few rude guys made kissy noises at you 279 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:22,469 is no reason-- - Freddie. 280 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,763 Freddie, I don't mean to be rude 281 00:13:24,803 --> 00:13:27,515 but I hear you've never kissed a girl. 282 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:30,518 - Well, thanks for stopping by. 283 00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:37,233 - The important thing is to be proud of yourself. 284 00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:42,071 You need to face the world with shoulders cocked and say, 285 00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:45,992 "I am Freddie Benson, and I have never kissed a girl." 286 00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:50,163 - [laughter] - Hey there. Stop that! 287 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:54,833 Stop laughing at this unfortunate misfit! 288 00:13:58,129 --> 00:14:00,507 - Okay. So far, things aren't going that well, but-- 289 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:05,052 - [laughter] 290 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:09,848 - ♪ 291 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:11,892 - Can I go home now? - I would. 292 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:23,112 - ♪ 293 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,198 - [knocking] 294 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:29,494 - Hey. - Hello, Gibby. 295 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,287 Carly's not home from school yet. 296 00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:33,039 - I know. She sent me here. 297 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,375 - Carly sent you here? - Yeah. 298 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,544 She was supposed to help you train this afternoon 299 00:14:37,585 --> 00:14:39,086 for your football tryouts, right? 300 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,088 - Yeah. - Well, she had something to do 301 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:44,050 so she sent me with a list of instructions. 302 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:47,387 - Well, that's really nice of you, Gibby, 303 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,514 but I decided I'm gonna bail on the whole Cobras 304 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,809 tryout thing, so you can run along 305 00:14:52,851 --> 00:14:55,687 and do whatever it is Gibbys do, okay? 306 00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:06,531 [groans] 307 00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:09,492 What was that about? 308 00:15:09,534 --> 00:15:12,495 - Well, Carly said, "If Spencer tries to be lazy, 309 00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:15,039 throw a cup of water in his face to perk him up." 310 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:18,209 - Right. Well, that was hot coffee! 311 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,670 - Oh. 312 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,506 Well, can I have a cup of water? - No! 313 00:15:25,049 --> 00:15:28,219 - Look, I promised Carly I'd work out with you, 314 00:15:29,554 --> 00:15:31,514 so let's do this! 315 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:35,810 - Okay. 316 00:15:35,852 --> 00:15:37,729 We'll go for a run around Woodley Park. 317 00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,230 - But that's all the way across town. 318 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,775 - I know. Here's $10. 319 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,318 You take a bus and I'll run there. 320 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,279 And that way I'll get even more exercise. 321 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,614 - Why can't I just run with you--? 322 00:15:47,655 --> 00:15:48,907 - Trust me this is a great plan. 323 00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:50,283 - I promised Carly I'd work out with you. 324 00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,534 - Don't worry your pretty head about it. 325 00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,160 - What time do you think you'll get to the park? 326 00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,203 - You'll see me soon. 327 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,622 - Are you sure this is a good plan? 328 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:56,997 - You'll get tons of exercise. Happy birthday, Gibby! 329 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,583 - It's not my birthday-- - I know you're very pretty. 330 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:07,091 - ♪ 331 00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,094 - Hey. Sorry I'm late. - You're always late. 332 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,846 - So? It's cool. 333 00:16:11,888 --> 00:16:13,723 The show doesn't start for three more minutes. 334 00:16:13,765 --> 00:16:15,809 Where's Fredweird? 335 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:19,103 - Freddie's not coming. - What? 336 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:20,772 Okay. He stayed home from school all week, 337 00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,273 he missed two iCarly rehearsals, 338 00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,775 and now he's gonna miss the show? 339 00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:25,359 That's so unprofessional. 340 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,196 - You really hurt him. 341 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,157 Every time he leaves the house, he gets teased 342 00:16:31,198 --> 00:16:33,701 'cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone. 343 00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,578 You know, he won't even talk to his mom. 344 00:16:35,620 --> 00:16:37,163 He just sits on the fire escape alone 345 00:16:37,204 --> 00:16:39,749 'cause he's too embarrassed to see anyone. 346 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,835 You, like, ruined his whole life and you don't even care. 347 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,921 - All right. I'll go apologize. 348 00:16:44,963 --> 00:16:46,965 - It doesn't even matter if you apologize, 349 00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:48,675 kids are still gonna give him a hard time 350 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:50,426 'cause you can't take back what you said. 351 00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:53,262 - Look, I didn't mean-- - You went too far this time. 352 00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,222 And you can't fix it. 353 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,392 - [beeping] 354 00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,936 - We got to start the show. 355 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:01,771 - Well, how can I do the show, 356 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,648 now that you made me feel all depressed? 357 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,192 - I don't know. Just get in front of the camera and do it. 358 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:10,780 In five, four, three, two-- 359 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,490 - I'm Sam. - And I'm Carly. 360 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,158 - And this is iCarly. 361 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,160 - The only web show that contains no trans fat. 362 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,413 - And keeps kitty's litter box smelling fresh all day. 363 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,708 - And now, what you've all been waiting for. 364 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:23,960 - Carly and I are about to have our very first-- 365 00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:26,212 - BOTH: Meatball war! 366 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,464 - [cheering] 367 00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,718 - We have our slingshots. - And 100 meatballs. 368 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:38,432 - But, um, before we start our meatball war, 369 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,934 I wanna say something. 370 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,523 On the last iCarly, 371 00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:49,067 I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone. 372 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:51,487 And that was really personal 373 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:53,656 and I shouldn't have said it on the show. 374 00:17:55,241 --> 00:17:56,826 And for all you people out there 375 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,245 who've been teasing Freddie about it, lay off, 376 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,497 'cause I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either. 377 00:18:05,292 --> 00:18:06,920 Including me. 378 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:14,844 Yeah, that's right. I've never kissed anyone. 379 00:18:14,886 --> 00:18:18,180 So, if you wanna tease someone about it, tease me, 380 00:18:18,222 --> 00:18:20,433 which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital. 381 00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,857 - Ahm, our meatball war will be happening soon, 382 00:18:27,899 --> 00:18:29,817 but for now, please enjoy this photo 383 00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:31,402 of a man with shrimp up his nose. 384 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,327 - Why did you stop the show? 385 00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:44,415 - That was amazing. What you just did. 386 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:45,750 - Eh. 387 00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:49,336 - You lied so people would stop teasing Freddie. 388 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:54,968 - I didn't lie. - Wait. 389 00:18:55,009 --> 00:18:56,928 You've seriously never kissed anyone? 390 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:58,846 - You shocked? 391 00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:04,060 - Well, yeah, but just because you always seemed so willing. 392 00:19:06,604 --> 00:19:07,855 - I'm gonna go talk to Freddie. 393 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,528 I'm taking these meatballs. 394 00:19:18,032 --> 00:19:22,745 - ♪ Did I tell you I knew your name ♪ 395 00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:26,040 ♪ But it seems that I've lost it ♪ 396 00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:33,006 ♪ Did I tell you it's my own game ♪ 397 00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:36,300 ♪ This is not your problem ♪ 398 00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:43,016 ♪ 399 00:19:43,057 --> 00:19:46,352 - What's up? - Nothing. 400 00:19:52,984 --> 00:19:54,902 - Meatball? 401 00:19:56,403 --> 00:19:57,822 - No, thanks. 402 00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:08,457 That was really brave. What you said. 403 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,250 - You heard? 404 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,629 - You didn't think I'd miss iCarly. 405 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:23,848 - I'm sorry about telling people you never kissed anyone. 406 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:28,394 And about putting blue cheese dressing 407 00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:29,812 in your shampoo bottle. 408 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,524 And about sending your cell phone to Cambodia. 409 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,320 Everything, okay? 410 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,406 - So this means you're not gonna mess with me anymore? 411 00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:42,616 - No, I'm still gonna mess with you. 412 00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,326 I'm just gonna apologize every few years 413 00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:45,912 so I can start fresh again. 414 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,831 - Good. - Good? 415 00:20:48,873 --> 00:20:50,457 - Yeah. It'd be too weird 416 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:52,210 if you didn't make my life miserable all the time. 417 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,756 But you know, maybe you could pull back 418 00:20:56,797 --> 00:21:02,636 just a little bit-- - I don't think so. - Yeah, I didn't either. 419 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:05,223 - It's so dumb. - What do you mean? 420 00:21:05,263 --> 00:21:07,892 - You know, how people get all freaked out 421 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,394 over their first kiss. 422 00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:13,647 Stupid. - So you weren't lying? 423 00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,858 You've really never kissed anyone? 424 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:18,778 - Nope. 425 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:22,698 Sometimes I just wish I could get it out of the way. 426 00:21:22,740 --> 00:21:25,534 - Yeah, I know, me too. - SAM: Right? 427 00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,411 You know, just so I can stop worrying about it. 428 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,038 - Yeah. 429 00:21:31,331 --> 00:21:32,792 - What? 430 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,752 - Nothing. It's-- - Tell me. 431 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:37,671 - No, it's dumb. - Say it. 432 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:43,552 - Okay. I was just gonna say-- - That we should kiss? 433 00:21:47,765 --> 00:21:49,183 - You're gonna break my arm now, right? 434 00:21:51,477 --> 00:21:53,229 - No. 435 00:21:54,272 --> 00:21:58,400 - Well, should we? 436 00:21:58,442 --> 00:22:00,945 Just so both of us can get it over with? 437 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,489 - Hmm. 438 00:22:05,199 --> 00:22:07,326 Just to get it over with. - Just to get it over with. 439 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,620 - And you swear we both go right back to hating each other 440 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,164 as soon as it's over. - Oh, totally. 441 00:22:11,205 --> 00:22:13,499 And we never tell anyone. - Never. 442 00:22:18,838 --> 00:22:21,299 Well, lean. 443 00:22:22,967 --> 00:22:27,930 - ♪ I don't know if I'm gonna change ♪ 444 00:22:27,972 --> 00:22:33,311 ♪ Wasting time and another day ♪ 445 00:22:33,351 --> 00:22:44,738 ♪ 446 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,740 - Well, that was, um-- 447 00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:49,035 - Nice? - Yeah, nice, uh... 448 00:22:51,162 --> 00:22:53,164 - Good work. - Thank you. You too. 449 00:22:57,543 --> 00:23:01,505 - ♪ I keep running away ♪ - Hey. 450 00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:04,133 I hate you. 451 00:23:05,885 --> 00:23:07,427 - Hate you too. 452 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,020 - Hey, Carly. Hey, Sam. 453 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,272 My name's Tom Placid and I can play basketball 454 00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:21,025 and ride the unicycle at the same time. 455 00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:31,618 - ♪ 456 00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:35,331 - [applause] 457 00:23:35,373 --> 00:23:38,125 - [ding] - MAN: Mmm! 458 00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:39,793 - [burble]